Do you have feelings of low self-worth that are getting in the way of your success? Do you often struggle with comparing yourself to others? Are you treating yourself with respect and kindness?
Linda Bonnar is a Personal & Corporate Coach, Author, Trainer, and Educational Wellbeing Consultant based in New York City. Passionate about empowering others to succeed, Linda partners with business executives and future leaders across the globe. She equips her clients with a range of skills, tools, and techniques to overcome challenges successfully and move forward confidently, allowing them to thrive in life and not just survive the “daily grind”.
As a corporate coach and trainer, Linda has worked with individuals from global companies such as Google, Warner Media, Oliver Wyman, Guardian Wealth Management, Salesforce, and Chevron.
Self-confidence and self-esteem are not only important for you to function well in life, but they are important because they provide you with a solid foundation of self-worth.
[If our foundation is poor] anything else that we try and build on top of that foundation is incredibly unstable. Jobs, relationships, how we think of ourselves … our self-esteem, and self-confidence, if that foundation isn’t solid, nothing else is going to stand on it. (Linda Bonnar)
If you do not have self-esteem and struggle with confidence, you will struggle with upholding healthy relationships and boundaries because you can say no, accept a good partner, or take the job offer.
Self-worth, which comes from having self-esteem and confidence, is crucial to you having a healthy, vital, and happy life.
Knowing that you are a good person and you deserve to be treated with respect … starts with you. We teach people how we want to be treated often by how we treat ourselves. (Linda Bonnar)
Improving your self-worth and self-esteem comes from you, and starts with you. You need to treat yourself with respect, compassion, and friendship to begin to feel worthy of accepting that from others.
If you are in the habit of accepting negative behavior and poor emotional hygiene from those in your life, then you may think that is what you are worth, but that is not true.
[Become] aware of the thoughts in your [head] and the feelings that [you] allow to run the show as well. Be mindful of the story [you] are telling yourself, what’s that narrative that [you’re] listening to on a day-to-day basis? (Linda Bonnar)
If you notice that you are falling into the comparison trap, catch yourself. The more you become aware the more easily you can stop doing it.
It is not only a comparison trap, but you are also then assuming the life of the other person you are comparing yourself to.
Use the three Cs:
1 – Listen to hear: do not listen to reply, but rather listen to hear on a deeper level.
2 – Practice self-compassion: self-compassion is powerful to both improve your life and to quieten the inner critic.
3 – Follow the three Cs: catch yourself when you are going downhill, challenge the thought, and change your pattern.
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BOOK | Linda Bonnar – Just Three Things: Bite-size Ways to Transform Your Life
BOOK | Linda Bonnar – Press Play: A Teenager's Guide to Becoming the Drivers of their Own Success