The Queens compare a 5 Star Review against a 1 Star Review for the largest water park in America: Noah's Ark Water Park! Chelsey requests an Apple Editor, Trey hates missing the dumpster, and the Queens get soaking wet! Lillian Pops gets birthed.

(02:38) Lodge a Complaint!

(08:26) Noah's Ark Water Park

(11:24) 5 Star Review

(31:55) Exclusive Offer!

(32:57) Ride or Review?!

(40:34) 1 Star Review

(1:01:25) My Royal Highness

(1:04:13) DONATE!

(1:05:34) On Today's After Show Pod

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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[Theme Song]

Hello!

Hello and welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

Hello Reviews.

That's right.

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

That is Chelsey Donn.

And that is Trey.

Gerrald.

And together we are

The Review Queens.

for access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members

Visit our Patreon over at Patreon.com/ReviewThatReview

Chelsey goose.

How are ya?

Oh, my goodness.

I'm good.

Trey.

I love the chicken, the return of the chicken, or is it a Turkey?

I don't know either way.

I like it.

some, um, feathered bird, whatever.

It's a bird with feathers.

I'm good swimming along as usual.

You know, these recording days just finished Pilates with watch that rock

So I'm good.

How was your week?

My week is going well, you know, it's, um, really beautiful out, which is so nice.

I'm enjoying, I really do.

This is funny to have this conversation with someone who lives in LA,

I like, you know, winter's my least favorite, but I enjoy the change cuz I think, well,

Yeah.

I love when it becomes summer.

My fave

So I'm enjoying that and I enjoy watching the dogs, sun bathing, even though I

yes, that's true.

Yeah.

Well Chelsey, is there anything that you would like to

Lodge A Complaint.

about today?

I've been waiting.

I think this is more of a conversation, but like I Donn don't understand why we're at this point.

In the world with technology and where everything is at.

And I still can't like edit an email.

What do you mean?

Like, you know, when you send an email and you make like a stupid typo or

And like, now you're like, oh my God, I just wanna change this.

I just think the email should have more technology, like a few options.

One, if the person has not opened the email already, and we know that, then I

If I have to, if the person has opened the email already, I'm fine with it having be,

Give me an edited.

I just want a chance to go in there and fix an email.

Cuz I had like an exchange earlier today where it was like, I was sort of rushing.

I was trying to get a bunch of things done and I just needed to get the email out.

So I got it out and then I made a stupid mistake.

And like, I saw the stupid mistake that I made.

And then I had to like send an addendum, being like, sorry, made this stupid mistake.

And then I made another stupid mistake in this correction to this.

Like, it was just like, I kept messing things up.

And I was like, if there was just a function within Gmail where I could edit this, even if

I just think we should be there already as a society personally.

I agree.

I also saw that the new iPhone.

That's coming out will have the ability to unsend text messages

Oh,

or correct text messages.

Oh, that's

And that's the same, like along the same lines of

Wait.

So like, unsend it meaning like if I sent you.

A photo that I was like, Trey, delete this after you.

I, I send you this photo or something like that.

Cuz you know, we always send each other salacious photos of one another.

So, so if I was doing that and then I was like, I don't really trust Trey.

I wanna make sure it's really deleted from his phone.

I could then delete it.

And it would disappear from your phone.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess you could have done a quick screenshot, but, or I could

so

Or to edit, but yes, I wish that emails would do that too.

It is surprising.

I remember that was one of the like perks about Gmail when it first started was

Yeah.

I know even like truly like even if it had to say a little like gray edit in the

Yeah.

Cuz it's not like we're dealing with the post anymore.

It's like, we're not sending a letter that is like done once you send it,

It's all digital anyway.

Totally.

I just wish there was like some sort of an undue.

I don't know who we can talk to.

I personally Donn don't know anyone at Gmail, but if you're listening and you do

We want it.

We're ready.

Really good.

Thanks.

Trey.

How about you?

Have you been longing to complain about something?

Yeah, this is something that comes up for me every week.

And it is like, I feel like my complaints often are these like underlying trembling

Oh my God.

I hate that.

hate it.

Especially when the trash is full and then it's too much.

No.

And then you gotta live with your trash for the whole week.

And then what if like there's too much trash and now what am I waiting until?

Like, it just, I'm all of a sudden I'm behind.

Right.

And we keep our trash cans in the garage.

We Donn don't have like a little fenced

off area outside.

Right.

And then it smells to high.

Oh

and then I know David's parents that are, you know, more secluded.

They have little like bungee court actions attached to their trash cans because of bears.

fancy.

Oh.

Well, you don't want the bears to get you.

I mean, maybe it's not bears in New Jersey, but it's like rodents and outdoor animals.

Like they, you know, with their little digits, they can open the trash cans.

Anyway, I really hate it because it's a moment of like, oh, I made a mistake

You Donn, Donn don't have anyone to blame except for yourself.

Those are the worst kind of annoyances, cuz you're like, it is my fault.

I did mess it up.

I still don't like it.

Still gonna Kvetch about it.

That's my Complaint, cuz it really does bug me.

And I, I always like for the amount of thought that goes into missing trash day, why can't I

Why, why, why

Why why Murphy

it is Murphy?

Damn you Murphy.

Damn you Murphy.

All right.

Well, that's my

Uh, I feel better.

I think maybe we should like dig in to some other people's S and so they could feel better.

I think I would like to take a Complaint and go, Hey, with your

Let's do it.

Complaint.

Let's

Asses That Kvetch.

and listeners today is yet another versus episode, which means today Chelsey and

Today's topic of choice will be Noah's arc water park,

That's right for this versus episode, Trey selected the

So to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota.

Do you got that quota at the ready Trey

Donn.

heads?

It's heads.

my goodness.

I'm correct.

All right.

Chelsey will read first.

So let me share with you listeners in case you have never

been, here's a little backstory on Noah's arc water park.

It's located in Wisconsin and it is in Wisconsin Dells, which I found out as like the water capital

Oh, that's not besides the point.

That's a part of the point,

That's a part of the

I think

Noah's arc water park is located on 70 sprawling acres in the heart of the Wisconsin.

Dells Noah's arc is recognized as Donn dun dun the largest waterpark in America, and

probably.

Interesting to note, within the thrill rides category, there is a

Inappropriate.

Wow.

That's,

one needs to go that

that's very fast on just your person.

Can a golf cart go 35 miles an hour.

I mean, I don't think so.

That feels

that seems really fast.

That's like the that's faster than like the speed limit inside of like a little

Do you think you're on one of those like tube things or like those flat things?

Or do you think you're just bare bear?

I was gonna say assing.

It

have to be on a thing, right.

I would think

That's

really

very fast.

It would have to be very looped up for you to go on there without anything underneath you

I mean, so scary.

All right.

So there are 2,845 reviews for Noah's arc water park on trip advisor at the time of this recording

So with all of that background info on Noah's arc, let's get into this versus

Weee.

Review That Review.

here we go.

I'm here to defend Noah's arc water park.

This is a five star review.

It is written by Reagan F

Okay.

the subject is amazing summer experience for the

In this case, five dots.

I've never written a review before, but I noticed some negative reviews for this

My family, and I decided to get season passes to this water park this year.

And I was pleasantly surprised by the experience over the course of the summer.

We've been able to go a little more than half a dozen times so far.

Every time we go, the park is kept extremely clean and the staff is extraordinarily pleasant.

Minus the few exceptions you'll find anywhere.

While you do have to stand in some lines.

It really depends on the day you go.

And what time of year when we went twice in the same week, just the day

The first day, we were able to go on eight rides in just an hour and a half.

However, the second day in two hours, we were only able to get on three or four.

Please know that three to four rides in two hours is still pretty good as that would

While at the beginning of the year, some slides were closed personally.

I would find it worth it because of less traffic.

In addition, I saw multiple reviews complaining about the chilly temperature of the water,

It is Wisconsin and people go to a water park to cool off and escape from the heat.

So the water is bound to be cool.

The park does an incredible job of having areas and rides.

For those of all ages, the young ones have three smaller splash pads and one larger area,

I truly hope this helps people deterred because of other negative reviews.

Interesting Reagan.

Yeah.

This is an interesting review.

right?

It, well, literally the very first thing I wrote down.

Is my skepticism, uh, because it is very interesting for someone.

I mean, Hey, wait, I'm a walking hypocrite because I've really never written a ne

I've never written a review before, but they can quote tons of, uh, points about reviews

Like they've been doing a lot of research on the negative reviews, so they mention

Yeah.

So when I first read Reagan F's review, I was very suspicious, which is why I thought I

There's not a lot of personality, even though we were giving details, the details felt like

We went this many times.

Like it felt a little bit wrote the interesting thing for me about that.

I've never written a review before premise or preface, I guess I should say is.

I don't know if it makes me more or less suspicious, cuz in a way

You're being honest.

Are you just doing that?

Because I can see that you've only had one contribution or are you doing that?

Because you like actually, you know, like I Donn Donn don't know it's hard, you know, cuz

I'm cur I, I almost said that I should have gone second, which I'm feeling like

Cuz I wasn't like thumbing through the One-Star-Zinger reviews, but it does make me

Sorry.

I would think they were complaining about.

The water being cold.

Some of the rides being closed and long lines, I would guess, would be, and like maybe, maybe

But I Donn don't know.

I mean, there is a part of me that buys this narrative because Reagan seems like the kind of

And maybe in this case they were like, you know what, I'm gonna go anyway.

And then when they had a good experience, they were like other people shouldn't be

So if they're scrolling through some negative reviews, here's things that will maybe

I don't

Yeah.

I mean, I specifically wrote down the day to day is a hugely different experience.

Also Reagan points out seasonally it's different,

Right,

which I wrote down.

Cause I was like, oh, that's such a great point.

But then when I thought about it a little more, I was like, well, duh.

Like wouldn't you expect that a Tuesday would be less busy than a Saturday.

And wouldn't you think that the summer would be more busy than the winter, but,

I would think.

Yes.

But then at the same time, Donn, don't you think a lot of people in the summer are

well, I I'm gonna take Reagan at face value.

I, there is some suspicion for me because of the, like waving of the red flag that

It just feels a little like, um, I don't know.

And maybe like there, it could be, there's no malice here.

It's genuinely, like, I Donn don't know why I saw these negative reviews.

It was great for us, you know?

And

Right.

That's

you that you're gonna wait a little longer on day to day, but.

I guess the energy of wanting to dispel experiences that you haven't personally felt.

I don't know why that should even ring as suspicious, but it does

I Donn, I guess maybe I don't understand weather to me where, where is Wisconsin on the map?

I thought that Wisconsin was like cold.

In the summer, Wisconsin can get really hot.

Right.

But for some reason, I think if Wisconsin is like snowy.

Also that sentence was like really confusing.

The one that was written there was like no punctuation in that sentence.

And it was a little hard to tell exactly what they meant.

Hmm.

So if I'm, so I know my in-laws, once again, I keep bringing them up this episode, but they

And I know that it's very expensive to heat the

Yes, it is.

I am imagining that like, if this is a 70 acre

Right.

The water's gonna be cold because they can't keep

well, I would imagine like you can't heat it, especially if it is outdoors, like,

And like, to be fair, I feel like how weird would it be to have a warm water park?

Like, I mean, maybe as an adult, you'd be like, lovely, like a lazy river, but like, if

And I think that that's the

correct.

Yeah.

You, yeah, no, I get that.

So, okay.

Off the bat, I think the value unique information, like it is hitting me and occurring to me.

be conscious of what you're contributing to the possible experience you're

And I also am getting okay.

If, if it's possible to hit three to four rides in four hours in two hours.

Okay.

That's probably good.

I mean, I imagine if it's the largest park in America, there's gonna be lots of people.

Reagan does a good job of managing expectations, which I appreciate

Yeah.

So you mentioned the spelling error.

What else is, is there going on there?

it just wasn't great.

We had a lot of run on sentences.

Um, it wasn't terrible, but I definitely wouldn't give it a perfect score.

It's very interesting to me because.

I am feeling a little bit of the vibe of what I say.

I really love in a Review Queen, which is that balance, right?

Like I don't trust a review if a review is just like, this is the most

It's amazing.

I love it.

You're gonna love it.

We're all gonna love it.

Yay.

We're loving it.

Like I just, I don't believe you, like, I like having a positive review that says, yeah.

You know what?

I did have to wait in line.

Yeah.

You know what?

It was a little bit cold.

Like I appreciate that.

Like, I still think you can have a five star review and be really impactful

I think so normally that's all great.

And I think that Reagan does that really well.

I think where I'm struggling.

Is because we said that we've never written a review before, because we're addressing

But there's something within that that makes me feel like I Donn don't 100% trust you, Reagan.

I don't know.

Is it just us?

Cuz we're so like jaded and we've been doing this for so long.

Well, okay.

But, but speaking in this question to truthful or shady, to your point, once again, I appreciated

happen

happen.

Right,

It, it kind of occurs to me.

I'm formulating this story now for who I think Reagan is, I feel like it's probably

I don't think it's necessarily the CEO's wife that's writing the review.

Like I don't necessarily think it's planted per se, more so than like wanting to give the

Yeah,

That's how it's occurring to me.

So I kind of think they're being truthful, especially playing the ying and the yang

Yeah.

But do you think this is gonna

I thought something else.

I just Donn wanna point out one other shady thing that like, again, maybe me, but there was

And I decided to get season passes to this water park this year.

And I was pleasantly surprised by the experience.

That's like one of the first sentences.

There's something about that, that I'm like, why would you buy a season

Like you bought a season pass and then you're surprised that it was a good experience.

Wouldn't you be like.

We went, we were surprised by the good experience.

So we bought a season pass.

And if there weren't, if there was like a specific reason, like they were doing this special

Like I Donn know there was like some sort of ridiculous promotion going on.

That was incentivizing you.

Even if you hadn't been to the park, like it's gonna be worth your while.

Even if you think you might come one other time

Commit

now.

this annual pass.

But if that were the case for Reagan, I feel like they should have, or would've disclosed.

Like we bought these, this annual pass.

Cause we got a good deal on 'em completely shooting the shot into the dark, not knowing if

And then we actually ended up using it a lot.

There was something about that sentence of like committing to a full year

That just put my antenna up.

no, I can hear where you're coming from with that.

Like, I, I get that there.

Like, I didn't even read into that or think that, so.

Bra BA

Right.

Oh,

I just, I, I think it could be typical that you would find negative

And then you go there and it's sort of like, oh, it's really not that bad.

I mean, you have to weigh, but you know, and like people were generally nice and like

It's like, I can sort of see how that might be a typical experience.

I just think that, that, like, I can see how that would be a typical experience,

My radar is going a little off with like, whether or not this was a coerced review at very least.

Right.

Because we're St like the first thing we're starting on is that like, I've never written

And then, you know, we talk about how we bought the, the year round tickets.

And then we're pleasantly surprised by the experience like the first,

I'm like, I Donn know

Wait, what is the subject again?

amazing summer experience for the whole family.

Like, it just feels so

Wait,

canned

wait, wait, wait.

They say amazing summer experience in the subject.

And then by the end of their review, they talk about going at the beginning of the year.

Isn't the beginning of the year, winter

unless this is like only open for the summer month.

Let me see where that sentence was.

but wouldn't you say the beginning of the summer, they're

It's great.

Oh, you're right.

that curious

That is interesting.

While at the beginning of the year, some slides were closed personally.

I would find it worth it because of less traffic

wait, but if they haven't been there before and they're talking about

So when did they get the

I feel like this there's no, I mean, we can look this up to verify

And it is a season pass there.

This can't be opened year round.

Is it?

We gotta verify

I'm gonna go.

I'll look right

because That's, that would be another suspicious thing then

Okay.

They are open may through September,

may through September.

So they had to been talking about may.

but would you call may the beginning of the year?

Why wouldn't you say the beginning of the season?

Maybe they meant to say the beginning of the season.

They must have.

That's what I'm saying.

They must have meant to say beginning of the season because it's not opening your round.

Right.

Also, I'm seeing that there's an update right now that says that there's currently 47 rides.

I said 40 before.

Okay.

Okay.

So then, all right.

So do you think it's humorous?

Were you entertained?

No.

No,

Oh, no,

it's pretty, like you said at the beginning, it's pretty, just like,

My name's Reagan, my last name starts with F

I wasn't entertained.

Right.

Totally.

And, and I, and I wanna just, you know, say that there's credit there is value there.

I don't think it's a value list.

It's for me, it's more about the trust.

How much am I trusting Reagan?

And, and at very least do I not like that they work at the park

There's a little bit of, uh, some it's a little suspicious.

I think I'm ready to crown

I think I can crown Reagan as well.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Okay.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

Queens are Tabulating

chose.

Three crowns.

Okay.

So I, I went with two and a half crowns.

I was deciding between two and a half and three.

Tell me why you decided on three.

I said three, because I do feel like there is valuable information in here.

I see that this could be truthful.

I do sort of, no, I'm unsure if I can trust the reviewer's commitment to being generous to

And so for that reason, I felt a little bit.

I can't this, this singular review does not erase negative reviews to me,

So that's why I said three, cuz I feel very sort of like, I don't know.

I need to read more.

Why did you say two and a half?

ChelseyBD.

I said two and a half, because for me personally, obviously

No harm, no foul here.

I Donn Donn don't think that Reagan is malicious.

I don't think Reagan is doing anything necessarily wrong, but I just don't

I'm a personality girl.

I'm realizing more and more as we read through these reviews that I really like

I love when that comes across and that just didn't come across here.

So any of my like Piza points, I couldn't really offer those to Reagan.

I do wanna sort of reserve my additional half crown for after I hear the One-Star-Zinger review.

Just to see, maybe I'll, maybe I'll understand where Reagan's coming from a

So I will hold that half crown for Reagan to possibly bring her or him to a full three crown.

But that is to be determined

When did Reagan write this review by the way?

20, 21.

So last season, I guess

All right.

Well, very interesting.

I'm I feel like it's funny, cuz I feel like, um, I was more receptive

In the end.

I really took a, I feel like I took a full like water slide,

Well, you're, you're still on it.

You haven't hit the splash yet.

Let's see what happens when we come back from our break.

All right, we'll take a quick break and then we'll hear a completely different side of this 35 mile

Bye.

top seed twirly, loopy journey with Reagan.

Oh, you're right.

Let's see what happens.

Can't wait, love it.

Bye.

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

It's game time, Chelsey.

It's time for you to get a dose of your own medicine.

Are you ready to play, ride or review?

Is it all right?

Or is it a review Ty to you?

Got it.

Tell me right now.

Oh my goodness.

I'm so excited.

without ChelseyBD knowing.

really sprung this on me.

You guys, I didn't know this was gonna happen, so I'm like nervous and excited.

Oh my God.

Without ChelseyBD knowing I have prepared a game for ChelseyBD and the genre that

So today Chelsey, we're gonna play ride or review.

So I'm gonna, and listeners obviously play along.

So I'm going to let, I'm going to say a title.

The title is either the name of a ride at an amusement park, or it's the subject

So I will state it.

You will hear the timer.

It will go give you three beeps and then you'll say ride or review.

Are we ready?

All right.

Yes, I'm ready.

Okay, let's play.

Write a review.

It's a ride.

feel like I'm like at the Caribbean?

It's very tropical.

Okay, here we go.

Round one.

I'll keep tally

Okay.

wild one.

Ooh.

I feel like it'd be too obvious for it to be a ride.

So I'm gonna say review That's.

That's incorrect.

Correct?

That was, that is a ride at six flags.

I thought it was a ride.

Okay.

I need to go with instincts.

Okay.

Okay.

So American thunder ride or review.

Oh, no ride.

Dinging.

That's right.

Oh, God.

Thank goodness.

American thunder is a ride at the six flags of St.

Louis.

Okay.

Okay.

Got one.

All right.

Well, at least I'm not a goose egg,

You're no, goig all

right.

what else

Boulder dash or review.

review.

That's

That's a ride at lake compounds.

my, I thought that was maybe a review for bald dash, which is a game that I love

Okay, here we go.

Tornado, exclamation, mark ride or review.

review.

Yes, it's a review

Okay.

Okay.

Good.

that is a Amazon five star review for a waterproof wireless speaker.

And the review is talking about how it survived a tornado.

Wow.

Good for the speaker.

okay.

Okay.

Ooh, ride.

Four ports ride or review.

It's a review.

Oh, okay.

All

That's a USB wall charger, Amazon five star review that has four ports.

okay.

I hope that's a review who wouldn't ride

okay.

Mega phobia ride or review.

Have you

that.

it's a ride.

It's for at the Oakwood theme park, which is a theme park in Wales.

Wow.

Okay.

I'm not that good at this game.

And now I

It's hard, right?

It's hard.

Okay.

All right, here we go.

Faz ride or review.

It's

has review

a type , it's a typo of a review.

It's a typo for a soccer ball.

One-Star-Zinger review and the review was deflated ball.

So I don't know what felt

felt has.

I Donn.

Don't know what that's supposed to be flat.

Maybe I Donn don't know,

flat ass.

flat

flat ass.

as flat

don't know.

Okay.

Modern warfare ride or review.

I'm gonna say rye, but I like kind of hope that it's a review for like a laxative

It is a review,

what is it for?

the call of duty black ops, cold war PlayStation.

Five game.

maybe listeners know that, you know?

Okay.

We have two more.

Are you

Okay.

I'm ready

Shivering, timbers ride or review?

ride.

That's

It's a ride

oh God.

it's at Michigan's adventure.

Okay.

Oh, that was good.

Okay.

Your last round on the ride or review the one exclamation mark ride or review.

Review.

It's a review for M and Ms.

I think I got five.

Oh, wait.

There's one more.

Wait.

There's one more.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Giant dipper

Oh my

or review.

It is a ride.

I thought maybe you would know

God.

it's at the Santa Cruz beach.

Boardwalk

Okay.

Chelsey.

You got six,

I'm pretty happy with myself.

That means that like, I, my, my like ratio, I still got a failing grade, but

no, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

There were 11.

And you got sick.

That's pretty

Okay, good.

I'm proud of myself.

That was a rush.

Good job.

Trey.

Wow.

You never know listeners when we might pull out a secret new game, just saying.

Even we might not know.

Did you beat me?

Did you get more than five, more than six, more than seven call in and leave a voice message.

1 8, 5 0 review zero.

Let us know how you did.

Let us know if you beat me.

Maybe if you did, I'll send you some merch just saying, call us up,

And that has been our first edition of his set ride on his, which is it

which is it.

Review That Review.

All right.

We are back from that browsing game break, that browsing brand new, one of a kind game

And now Trey, Trey.

It is your turn to show us the flip side of the argument.

So what AV brought for us today?

Okeydoke.

So today I have the one.review for Noah's arc.

This is written by user time flies, 37.

Okay.

And this was written in August of 2014.

Oh, okay.

So quite a time gap,

time flies.

27 47, 30, 37 time flies.

37.

Okay.

more public.

We visit my brother in Wisconsin every year and travel all the way from Ontario to do so.

It's an annual event to attend a water park in the Dells while we are there.

This has been going on for over 15 years.

Now.

We went to Noah's arc last Friday, August 15th.

I'm writing to tell you how disappointed we were.

We chose not to do the $15 pass at Mount Olympus in favor of Noah's arc,

Coupled with the fact that Noah's Ark claims to be the quote largest water park

There may have been more, but consequently, the spillover to other areas of the park

If you advertise that you are the largest waterpark end quote, then closing many

And therefore the advertising is misleading.

I rarely take the time to share concerns, but in this case, it was a dismal

There was 10 of us, sadly, next year, we will likely choose one of the places we have

For travelers, I would make sure to ask what attractions are canceled

We only got part of it because they only mentioned two things on the

And when I approached someone who worked there, he only told me of three

It really does add up respectfully L P I think that, um, time flies, like copy, pasted their

Initials is LP.

And they just put it into their review.

Hmm.

Okay.

Interesting.

Okay.

So this is where I was a little bit confused.

So you usually go to this place Mount Olympus, and you thought that going to the largest

Yeah,

like.

When we decided to do the idea of having a water park comparison, you know, cuz it's the end of

We both came upon this very quickly.

So if it's the largest waterpark are just water park in America and you're visiting anywhere near

So the fact that you thought that it would be less crowded, did you think it would be less crowded

that's a good point.

So that was the first thing that I was like, uh, I don't know.

A quick, Google showed me there's over 20 water parks in Wisconsin.

Dells.

Oh, wow.

That's a lot of water parks.

Yeah.

I thought

must just be like water park central.

it is.

Yeah.

It is right.

Yeah.

It's the largest concentration of indoor and outdoor water parks on earth apparently.

oh, wow.

And they are called water park capital of the world.

That is very interesting.

Ooh.

Hm.

it could be conceivable that for 15 years you haven't come

Well, what's interesting to me in the preface is that it's, I'm like,

It almost does because it's like, if for 15 years time flies has been like going around to

Maybe their review does hold more weight cuz they're, you know, haha does hold more water,

correct.

Right.

Yeah.

Also, what do you think of the opening claim about wanting to do it privately,

I mean, I, yes.

Like I think that that's annoying and I guess I understand the process, I

So I do respect the decision to want an opt out.

I think it's very weird that there's not an opt out.

Like I'm, you know, there should be an opt out.

yeah.

I wonder if like that's something from back in 2014, like I Donn don't

not

like, how can you not communicate without signing up for the newsletter?

Like, do you, you don't think there's a contact, like can't

Well, I guess the contact, I don't know, like maybe it doesn't let you uncheck it.

I Donn know a little strange

But couldn't you just find like Noah's arc waterpark at Gmail or

It's time flies who cares?

I mean, yeah.

Time flies and has time flies.

Do you know how under their name?

It says like the number of contributions do, can we see if they've made other contributions?

They have six contributions.

I don't know.

And when

Okay.

All right.

So I think the time flies made one point that I thought was very interesting that

Can you still call yourself the largest water park in America?

If a number of your attractions are closed down.

All right.

So in your review, we discussed some common negative reviews that Reagan F was finding.

And I will tell you, I found time flies review on the eighth page of

Hmm.

So frequent my question is what causes a water ride to close?

Maybe someone pees in it or something.

Yeah, I was gonna say pee poop.

Someone got hurt.

Maybe the there's a, there's something wrong with the slide it's leaking.

But it is like a very common also I did notice a lot of complaints about cold water

Right,

and then people being rude, but that didn't come up more so

Like I would definitely say parts of the

do think that's an, I do think that's an interesting point because it's like,

It is sort of like par for the course.

You just, you kind of just accept it.

Like you don't like it.

I'm pissed.

If like one of my favorite rides is down, it sucks.

But I don't think of it as like that doesn't occur to me that often, like, I don't

So as I experienced it, reading through the reviews of this park, like, yes, I've

Right.

And that's what I'm wondering, because this is the largest park and, and the

Okay.

Two on the sign and then three from the guy, and then it was actually four.

All right.

Like,

Okay.

Well you say petty, cuz that did occur to me at two ways.

Did it, did the, did the other ones break or did they shut them down?

After you saw the sign or were they intentionally misleading or yes, that's

And that will obviously deter people.

Maybe they, maybe the park is being shady.

And if so, I will want to say, can you guarantee me when I pay and go through the

Time flies felt like they were intentionally being duped.

Right.

And time flies goes to a lot of water parks, presumably.

So they might know what is like normal closures.

I just did think that there was a world in which they got to the park.

There were two rides down.

They were marked on the thing.

They went to, someone else had been updated and the sign had been updated that there

I can understand how that would be annoying.

I don't know how many attractions are at this water

I was just, I was just

gonna say that

in the like thrill category, if that's like what?

I assume these people, if there were like regular enthusiasts, they probably want the big rides.

I was just gonna go there because in our background

So maybe in 2014, I mean, I don't think they probably built 20 more

Like if is foreclosures out of 47

Well, I think it, I think it depends on the category because they

So if you figure 40 rides 2014, so it's gotta be 40 or less.

So 40 rides.

And even if you're just dividing those evenly 10 of those are gonna be like little kid rides.

So take those out.

So that's 30 then like 10 of them are gonna be like less like thrill seeking attractions.

So maybe 20 rides are the kind of rides that if you were an enthusiast you'd wanna ride.

If four of those 20 rides were gone and you have to wait in line and now the lines are long,

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

but that I do think is the most compelling part of time flies the review.

And, and you mentioned it at the top here is like, can you claim that you are the

I think that was a very good point.

And I, I was with them.

I was not sure if we were dealing with a little bit of a Karen or a Ken, to be honest

I know.

the beginning, I was like, Ooh, you seem like you like have a bone

Well, to be fair, I do think within the characterization of who this reviewer is, and

It does occur to me.

To me, it might not be a big deal.

If four things are closed, cuz I don't do this every year and I'm not going to

So to me, I don't care.

But if you are someone who has been to all these other ones for 15 years and it's a whole

You're from Canada and you're positive or positive.

Like it's gonna have a larger impact.

What did you think about the declaration of a dismal day

I love that.

I love the phrase dismal.

I think That's so funny.

dismal day?

I was just thinking in that moment, like what did actually happen?

So you waited in line for 45 minutes, spent an entire day riding rise, but didn't

Right.

Wait, I'm just remembering, we talked about this on the podcast, but when we

yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

When you surprised your nephew, you mean?

Yeah.

When we took him and like some of the, you know, there's like, I Donn Donn, I Donn know

And some of them were like the very cool ones that we had looked at YouTube videos on the way.

But like, that's not like I didn't even like, remember that I didn't get the opportunity.

I think what this is getting us to, which I think is a big assessment for

Like is time flies, 37, just a part of the audience that is gonna be super bummed.

Like if they were at six flags the day that you were there and those rides

Maybe it would be.

And does everybody go in with that same expectation or.

If it's between time flies and Reagan is Reagan the type of person that

Like, yeah, there's a couple closures, but whatever.

I still got to ride X amount of rides and I still had a great day.

Whereas time flies is more like, this is something that's gonna ruin.

They're not gonna be able to get the fact that the big una ride is closed off their minds long

And I think that is where we're falling right now is that we have two people whose opinions

The way they relate to these experiences.

Yeah.

differently.

Yeah.

I think that this episode more than any of our other verses is really highlighting different

Yeah.

Cuz if you just didn't care and you were just going and you were there for a good time,

Well, so time flies, 37th credit here.

I think for whatever reason, it doesn't occur as shady to me, it occurs as truthful.

And it do like, I do actually trust that they did want to just communicate.

Like we were very disappointed.

We do this every year.

We've been to so many of your competitors.

We were really looking forward to this experience and it really disappointed us, like the fact

Like I, and how they even end with respectfully.

Yeah.

I mean,

I think I'm ready to crown time flies.

The only question I wanna ask though is like, is this humorous or entertaining?

Like, I, I, that's kind of missing for me.

Yeah.

Not like in an overt way, but I'll get into a little more of that in my crowning.

Okay.

All right, so let's crown.

Here we go.

Queens are Tabulating.

Go to.

Okay.

Trey is holding up four crowns.

I'm holding up three and a half crowns.

I went with three and a half crowns because I know we started to talk about

For me, it really is about like, do I feel like this is a real person?

Like, can I connect with this and, and feel this is an authentic story.

And I really feel like that's where time flies pulled ahead for me this episode, because they

They do this, I know who they are for 15 years.

They've been doing this and.

Really convinced me with their argument about the, can you call it the largest park?

So I just feel like there was a little bit more, um, a little more energy and a little more

I think it's hard when you get on a soapbox and you're sort of speaking like, you know,

Like it's just it's too much.

And I did appreciate that.

I couldn't go more than the three and a half because I thought it was possible that

And I don't know that this is a One-Star-Zinger park.

Uh, I believe that this was a One-Star-Zinger experience for time flies.

And why did you go with four Trey?

so I went with four, honestly.

I kind of, for your reasonings, I kind of felt like I understood.

The persona of time flies.

And I think they were presenting really valid points.

And what I thought was unique and interesting, whether I interpreted a different way from you

It doesn't seem like they don't you're right.

They're not having that experience.

And ultimately I'm leaving today's episode.

Really curious what causes all of these water park rides to close, because there are, there were,

But some other One-Star-Zinger mentioned, there's only two people working

That's slowing everything down.

So I'm wondering like, is it employment.

Right.

Why is that such a common note for this waterpark that I think has a lasting impact?

For me, it might be a deal breaker for me, honestly, for Noahs Ark.

So that's why I went with four.

Fair.

So now that we've done both of them, are you gonna update

I think I'm gonna stick with my two and a half for Reagan.

I think it's solid.

I still kind of feel similarly to how I felt before, but I just think

Feel like two and a half is appropriate.

You didn't do wrong.

Reagan.

You did.

Right, but you're not anything spectacular.

Sorry.

Yeah.

I mean, I think summing up both of them, like what I still gotta know is Ark.

Yeah, totally.

Who cares?

But I'm also not a person.

I, I can understand how, if you were like, I'm going to Disney to meet Elsa,

If Elsa calls out sick, that's gonna ruin the experience.

And I think if you're going to this, Noah's arc to ride that 35 mile an hour

And that's sort of tough.

So

Completely agree.

it's like going to see, I don't know, wicked and Edina

And so she called out, then you're gonna be upset cuz you wanted to see Adena men.

I hate it when I go to a show and that slip is there.

I get so like nervous.

it's tough, so,

Hmm

also I feel bad for the person on the slip cuz it's like,

unless you're seeing funny girl,

that was fun.

I en I enjoyed that.

I enjoyed that.

What did they say, Ted

hear what I

Ted on no

I said, unless you're seeing funny girl,

too soon.

Try.

then people are happy or they're going specifically

didn't say it.

there's a slip anyway.

Might cut it.

So anyway.

All right.

Well, my Queen, that was super fun.

So now that we're here, I wanna ask you Chelsey, since this is the most Regal portion of our

My Royal Highness!.

Yes, Trey, there is someone I'd like to induct today.

This is a little bit more of a somber induction for me, but I did wanna induct Dr.

J Goldberg, who was my OB GYN, who recently passed away.

It's very heartbreaking for me.

And a lot of people, he was an amazing doctor, kind of a little bit of a celebrity doctor.

Not that you would know that if you went to him, I went to him for years and didn't

He performed surgery on me and he passed away very unexpectedly and we are all of

And.

I just wanna say, uh, send a little prayer out for Dr.

J Goldberg and hopes that he is in a better place and just sends an extra gratitude to Dr.

J Goldberg for getting me through some personal health issues that I've gone

And I think that's a real legacy to leave behind.

So I wanted to induct Dr.

J Goldberg tonight for my Royal Highness.

Very nice.

Yes.

Wow.

I mean, that is a, I it's like making a Royal Highness out of your

Yeah.

yeah,

you know, we are all very fortunate to be here right now and honoring

yes.

So woo.

Sorry for the heaviness, but the cycle,

I love that.

That's a great, that's a great contribution to Royal Highness.

I think it's all about honoring, you know,

All right.

Well, I think we learned a lot today.

but yeah,

I think neither of us are big water park people.

I

don't wanna be in a bathing suit and I don't

wanna put

realize that.

Yeah.

All right.

My Queen, we did it.

That is another round on the, are you a waterpark RQ, Ferris wheel of love life.

Laughter sunburns time flies.

yes.

Time does fly.

Thank you for joining us today.

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That's cute.

I like that on today's after show companion podcast, we are rating and

Well, what is it?

What the fuck is it?

All right, let's do do it again.

Okay.

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It was bad.

Okay.

On today is after show pod.

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I love how we turn country towards the

splash splash.

I was at the park that was shut down.

the park.

Wasn't shut down just to rides.

Half of it.

Bye.

That Review as an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora Bora and our theme song was written by

right.

All right.

All right.

That was not, I don't know what that was.

That was like between, I was

Bye

I thought it was Southern and

Macona.

yeah, but it was not, I don't

British.

yeah, exactly.

All right.

alright.

All

All right.

oh my, oh

at that, have you ever gotten water in your eye?

yeah.

It's the worst.

You mean like stuck in the corner and you're like, Ugh.

Don't go to a water park,

Wear goggles.