When you choose a narrator, you're choosing whose personality the reader will inhabit for an entire book. Get it wrong, and you might find yourself rewriting 80,000 words. (I've seen it happen.)

We're using Vivian the Professional Mourner as our case study to explore what first-person narrators can and can't tell us, why filter words create distance, and how to leverage your character's unique knowledge without slipping into omniscient narration.

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Overthinking Couch Topics:

• Why POV is a personality choice, not just a grammar choice
• What can your narrator actually tell us?
• Cash register narration might be ruining your story
• "And then" testimony vs. lived experience

Next Episode: Third-Person POV

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If you have plot bunnies coming out of your plot holes, it's time for a writing break.

Welcome back. To those starting a new school year this month, make the most of it.

Last time we discussed five key elements to your narrator’s voice: what the narrator notices, what the narrator judges, what the narrator hides, as well as vocabulary and rhythm. It's gonna getcha.

Ideally, you've selected your POV before fingertips meet keyboard. Who's telling this thing, and how close are we standing to them?

But it is not always a straightforward decision.

From my point of view, the reason people struggle with point of view is that we think we understand what it is based on our primary school education. Point of view is just a grammar choice. First-person uses "I" and "we," and third-person uses "he," "she," and "they," and that's it. Class dismissed.

But when you, dear author, choose a POV, you're deciding whose personality you and the reader will spend the entire book with.

A handful of wild-eyed authors have told me they've decided to rewrite their entire novel from a different POV. It happens. Sometimes you pick the wrong lover and sometimes you pick the wrong POV. I hope this season helps you with the latter. As for the former, you're on your own.

In this episode, we're looking at first-person point of view. I was going to do first and third together, but I've got too much to say about each. I’m going to try to keep today’s episode short because there is an overthinking prompt at the end that you might want to actually write out. I hope you do, and I hope you send it to me. [I hope you do, and I hope you send in what you write

No publishing news today. It's too sunny outside for more copyright cases and AI atrocities. The publishing industry is still lounging on deck chairs, despite the massive hole in our hull.

But before we get into POV, I wanted to check in with you. How's your year going? If it has roundhouse-kicked you in the face, I'm sorry. You are much too talented, smart, and likeable to be going through all that.

If the year is going better than expected, congratulations. I'm truly happy for you.

If your year seems to be going nowhere, what are you gonna do about it? What goals did you make way back in January that you still want to accomplish? There are more than four months remaining in the year. Plenty of time to do something you'll be proud of.

Some of you wrote to me about the two-minute wait test and said you couldn’t get through 30 seconds. Every second is precious.You’ve got a lot more time than you think and not as much time as you’re going to want. Use your time wisely.

Now, let's talk first-person.The Writing Break cafe is open. Order me something that comes with a paper umbrella, por favor, and meet me on the Overthinking Couch.

So, yes, first-person uses "I" and "we"; furthermore, we experience the plot through the perspective of the character telling the story, which means the reader is limited by what the character can perceive or understand. We know what the character knows and only what the character knows.

Let's say our first-person narrator is a professional mourner named Vivian. A professional mourner is a person who gets paid to attend funerals and mourn; yep, it's a real job. So, Vivian the professional mourner is on the clock and wailing away when a man sits down across from her.

What can Vivian tell us about him? Well, she can tell us what he looks like, what he's wearing, and what he's doing. If he’s close enough, she can tell us what he smells like. It's likely Vivian isn't going to tell us everything she can about him. She might mention he is dressed in a suit, but not tell us about his shoes. Just because she doesn't mention his shoes doesn't mean the audience is going to think he's shoeless.

If he were in a suit and shoeless at a funeral, it would be told to the reader because that is noticeable and informative.

Vivian can also tell us what she thinks about him. Does she find him attractive or not? Does he remind her of someone she knows? Does he make her nervous for some reason?

One of the things I catch authors doing quite often is writing an omniscient first person. If Vivian tells us he's Brazilian or tired from a long day of work, we have to question how she knows that. The author might expect us to just accept that he's Brazilian because Vivian says so, but that ruins the narration. The point of using first-person POV is to let the reader experience the story with this character.

Vivian could make assumptions, of course, but it should be clear that that's what she’s doing. Assumptions are a great way to show us more about Vivian. For example, she might be an anxious person, so regardless of her years of experience as a professional mourner, she might worry people can tell she's faking her grief.

But what can Vivian, and Vivian alone, tell us for certain that others can't? Well, as a professional mourner, she might be able to tell you if someone was likely to cry during the eulogy. She might even be able to spot other professional mourners.

One reason to choose first-person POV is to leverage the knowledge of that character. A highly experienced professional mourner and a new-to-the-grieve mourner-in-training make excellent first-person POVs if you know how to present their unique viewpoints while still advancing the plot. That’s the important part. Every scene should tell us something new and important or advance the plot. Bonus points if a scene does both.

A professional mourner who has been weeping and whimpering for years and is ready for a change or about to get fired could also make for a good first-person POV.

With first-person POV, the author has to avoid sounding like the author. Instead, they have to think and narrate like the character telling the story.

So, returning to Vivian mid-mourn, when a man enters, weak narration would read something like this:

I looked up and saw a man sit down across from me. I noticed he was wearing a gray suit and that he wasn't crying. I felt curious about him. I realized he was watching me instead of the casket, and I thought that was strange.

This is what I call cash register narration because every observation arrives with a receipt attached: I looked, I saw, I noticed, I felt, I realized, I thought. The reader is stuck behind Vivian, watching her perceive, instead of standing where she stands. And the vocabulary belongs to nobody in particular. A professional mourner has a trade, and there’s vocabulary that goes along with that trade, yet nothing in that narration points to it.

OK, well, what if we took away those filters? Does that fix the problem? Let's see.

A man sat down across from me. He was wearing a gray suit and wasn't crying. He was watching me instead of the casket. Strange, I thought.

Nope, that didn't fix it. That's what I call a court testimony or a witness statement. I also refer to it as "and then narration." This happened and then that happened and then I thought that and then I did this. Bo-ring.

And again, there's nothing that's unique to Vivian the professional mourner.

Just like the rest of us, Vivian doesn't experience objective reality; she experiences Vivian's interpretation of reality. So, what does she notice? What does she misread? What assumptions does she make? What does she believe about herself that the reader eventually realizes is not true?

Which brings us to our Overthinking Prompt for the week.

Using first-person POV, think about the moment Vivian the Professional Mourner sees a man sit down across from her. What would make it a strong narration? Think about it. Overthink about it. Write it out if you've got the time. If you do write it out, leave it in the comments or email it to me. I would love to read it.

Next time, we're discussing third person POV. Until then, thank you so much for listening, and remember, you deserve this break.

Writing Break is hosted by America’s Editor and produced by Allon Media with technical direction by Gus Aviles. Visit us at writingbreak.com or contact us at [email protected].