Did you know that one of the fastest ways to grow your business is with public speaking?  Listen in as I chat with one of my TEDx Speaker Coaches, Dorothea Hendriks. 

Don’t let her gentle demeanor distract you.  Dorothea is totally focused on helping you communicate clearly and powerfully so you create a transformation with every talk.  She goes toe to toe with you to ensure you deliver your best work every time you’re on stage.  Notice how she “holds the space” for you during this conversation.

About the Guest:

For over two decades, as the founder of Speaking for Success, Dorothea Hendriks has been helping people build greater confidence and credibility through public speaking and presentation skills.  She has worked with TEDX speakers, entrepreneurs and business professionals helping her clients make the most of their message. Dorothea is passionate about communication skills, and believes when you change how you speak, and how you present yourself, everything … everything … changes in your life.

Free Gift: Dorothea wants you to use the following affirmation:  I, NAME. I accept myself. I respect myself. I love myself unconditionally, and I have value.

Social Media Links: Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dorothea-hendriks

YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/user/SpeakingSuccessfully

About the Host, Elaine Starling:

An international TEDx speaker, bestselling author, coach and mentor, Elaine Starling is recognized for her video show and podcast, The Abundance Journey. After a comprehensive conversation with our higher power during a stroke, Elaine created The Abundance Journey 6 week course to share what she learned. As the Abundance Ambassador, Elaine mentors spiritual, growth-oriented women to align with Divine guidance to achieve their dreams. Elaine’s clients experience more clarity, confidence, and commit to action that achieves their goals. 

Elaine Starling Social Media Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elaine.starling1/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainestarling/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eXgwdMYYzLicCEcB1Ddrg

TEDx Talk, “Abundance Is a Choice” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMQ0D4sfEys&t=1s

Website: www.TheAbundanceJourney.com

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Welcome to The Abundance Journey, the show that helps spiritual entrepreneurs create an abundance mindset that accelerates revenue. Secretly, every few experience your life is actually abundance. Once you understand how to activate abundance, you find yourself in flow of your business and clients. So it's easy to create the revenue you want. The abundance journey is the only show that activates abundance for you. So you enjoy rapid results in your business. Here's your host, the abundance Ambassador Elaine Starling

Did you know that one of the fastest ways to grow your business is with public speaking. But the key to being really successful is knowing how to share your authentic voice Be who you truly are, and be dedicated to making that transformation happen for your audience. Well, I'm thrilled that you're joining me today. This is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of the abundance Journey podcast and video show. And I have my very own one of my two coaches for when I did my TEDx talk. I gotta tell you, this lady, so rocks, I just love her energy. I love where she comes from. So before I explain all that, let me introduce you to Dorothea, because she just is amazing. For over two decades, Dorothea has been the founder of speaking for success, and she helps people grow their business, while building greater confidence and credibility through public speaking and presentation skills. She's worked with TEDx speakers, like me, entrepreneurs and business professionals, she helps her clients make the most of their message. That's so important, because if you don't know how to communicate your message, clearly, it's so important that you have somebody who can help guide you and shape it with you. Dorothea is passionate about communication skills. She really believes that when you change how you speak, and how you present yourself, everything, absolutely everything in your life changes for the better. Dorothea, I'm so glad you're here to join us today. Welcome to the abundance journey.

Now. Thank you, Elaine, thank you so much. I just want to share with everybody what I shared with you just a few minutes ago, this actually is my very first podcast Oh, right. I have not been on a podcast before I do YouTube videos. And, you know, I speak and do things on meetings on Zoom and share workshops on Zoom. But boy, podcasts like this is like just it's amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well,

I'm thrilled that you could be here because honestly, Dorthea one of the things that I value so highly about working with you is you don't pull any punches, but you hold the space, right? You hold that vision of who we can be on stage and the difference we can make. And you help guide us to really using our authentic voice and being who we truly are in the moment. And I find that so valuable. Because when you can show up that way. It really is transformational for your audience. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you, I was begging and pleading for Dorothy Anna, join me on this journey.

And I finally got Well, thank you, I think you know, when you're commenting about the space, I think that's really so important. Because the whole thing and in opening up and building that confidence and feeling that you are worthy that you can do this and that you've got a message to say that is in your heart that has value, I mean, then you first have to find a way to bring it out. And sometimes that's just experimenting, exploring with different techniques, different ways of using words using language. And it's just ultimately it's you. So having that space. That's your space to experiment. And that's actually what I feel a coach does they they serve as a mentor as a guide, let you do things that work. Sometimes things that don't work you want and you put it all together and, and bring out the best that's in you. Because we all have amazing gifts inside of ourselves. And they're different for everybody. They're a little bit different.

That is so true. That is so true. So Dorothy, I mean, you have a huge background in speaking and coaching people who are speakers. Why are you so passionate about helping us master our voice?

I think that's a long story. Probably that would just take too much time. I grew up in an environment where if you had an idea you just did not express it. There was no speaking at the table, no sharing of conversations. Basically, that old adage of kids were supposed to be, you know, not heard and not seen unless they were required to step up and we're spoiled. In two, there was a very strict, very disciplined environment. And not that my I had bad parents or anything, but that's just how it was. And at that time, many of the teachers in school were very strict, authoritarian and disciplined. And you just basically responded when you were supposed to was that military, military approach and a really old fashioned, I'm going to say, military approach. So when I got out into the work world, when I left home, after going to school, and university, college and university, I realized very quickly that I well known quickly, it took me a while I got fired from jobs, I realized I had no people skills, I really had no idea how to communicate, what I had grown up with was a very strong work ethic, like you work when you're supposed to when you do your job, and you do your job well. And the idea of that other people were concerned or that I had to work with other people to do things better and more efficiently, or I couldn't get other people to work with me, because I didn't know how to work with them. And so that was kind of an eye opener. And then my marriage broke up again. And I'm going to say to a large part, because I just did not understand communication skills. I had a temper, it was my way or the highway, I had a sense of purpose, I felt if you didn't work well, you know, you're just that was it, you know, we just had no relationship here. And I somewhere along the way, and that's a long story, when I realized after being let go a couple of times, and after not building relationships and having trouble with people, it's not that I didn't have friends, but really, to build to feel good about yourself to have that life that you kind of want. I was missing that. And so at a certain point, I just through a friend, and I had no intention of doing this through a friend, I got involved in meditation, or meditation, I found doing that doing it on a consistent basis opened up a new door for me, I began to see things in a different way. Then I got involved with taking a lot of I'll call them courses on building yourself, building your confidence, doing different things becoming involved, being more of what you what you hoped you could be right. And then I took, you know, different types of classes and and I was in sales for a bit. And I love that because sales is an avenue or was an avenue at that time, which is many years ago now that had so many courses about techniques you could use about building your confidence about getting out there selling and doing things. And yes, they were all focused on making money. But there was a growth process here, in terms of you could only get there, if you kind of started working on what you had inside. And and then I, you know, took Reiki and I took yoga just and started doing affirmations. And it just basically led to a change in how I how I saw myself how I felt about myself. And I also joined Toastmasters. And I would say Ralph Smedley, his idea here is if that we can communicate better, we probably get along much better in the world. And I totally, totally, totally buy into that. Because I think if we understand how to use language, if we understand that we have a certain responsibility and ability and also can feel good about ourselves, expressing ourselves and build relationships with people build that harmony, that he does, it makes all the difference in the world. And and that kind of propelled me into coaching and to speaking because people began to ask me, would you help me?

That's so great. And you know, you bring up a really good point, that it's through communicating who you are, and believing in yourself as you're believing in the other person that really creates that relationship that brings you together that creates that unity. Well, I want to bridge just a little bit here, because here you are, you're speaking coach, and you're utterly brilliant at it. I can I am testimony to that my TEDx talk now has about 278,000 views. And I'm going for 10 million. So yeah, you're along for the ride with me here. But I want to ask you, because obviously, this is called the abundance journey. So given that you're working with speakers, how would you define abundance

and abundance right now to me, and I'm going to say I work with speakers, but I've also worked with people who just basically want to move up the ladder of success. So they're not in management, they want to get into management, they're not in a supervisory position. They want to get into supervisory. They want to be able to chair meetings, you know, be able to handle themselves show that they're visible. And I think for me, one of the key things here in terms of abundance for the people that I work with, is really having that feeling of self worth that belief in themselves. And I think that is so critical. You can't have abundance. You can't go out there chasing things This, if you don't feel you're deserving, if you don't feel that you're worth it, and you need to have that feeling. And so in the coaching, I often ask people to do affirmations, especially where people are trying to move up to another lat ladder, that that level of success, you know, it may be a promotion, wanting something more than where they are right now in their workplace or wanting something more as a speaker than where they are right now. So the abundance for me is the feelings that we can share that we can build about the belief in ourselves, and then gratitude for getting those feelings. And I,

you know, I think that's a really important point, I want to interrupt you for just a second, because the key thing that I think a lot of people don't understand, is when you believe in yourself, you give your audience permission to believe in then themselves. Yeah, it's like you are believing in the audience before they can believe in themselves. And you demonstrate that through your own self belief. Would you agree with that?

I would, I would, it's very difficult, you know, to to persuade others to to have them move along with you. If there is something that shows there's a disconnect, you want them to believe but you don't really have that confidence, that belief in yourself. Right to move forward? I think that is, so you need that you need the feeling of gratitude. And once you begin to feel that I think gratitude is I think it's just essential. And I found the more I have gratitude, the more my the people that I work with, the more they appreciate and have gratitude that actually builds on itself, the better you feel, the stronger you become. And the more happens, right,

absolutely. I totally agree with that. So when you're starting to work with somebody, like, what's a symptom, that they're there, stubbing their toe and kind of going in the wrong direction. And if only they knew that they could improve their speaking skills, and they would believe in themselves more as they improve their speaking skills, what's a symptom of, of people, where they are, before they start working with you,

I would say the word that comes to mind, Elaine, because I've experienced this myself, and I can only take things from what I myself has experienced, have experienced is fear is and sometimes that's really obvious, you know, maybe through nervousness, where they just need encouragement to take that one step to move forward. Sometimes that fear is revolves around being not flexible, I don't want to take the risk, I, you know, I have a way that I want to do this. And I just want you to give me the courage to move forward. That may be and how they see they want to promote their message is not the best way for them to get the results that they're looking for. And sometimes somebody from the outside can see that. And you may want to share that, so that they can open up and be more flexible. But I think the key here is fear, maybe fear of taking a risk for your flexibility.

Yeah, it's sometimes people know that there's a lack of clarity. Like they know what they want to say, but they're not sure how to say it. And I really felt like you were the squeegee that came along and helped me just kind of clear the lens so that it all started to make sense. And it all started to hang together. And it all flowed perfectly so that I was taking people along on a journey with me, and adventure with me. And I could communicate what I really wanted to share during my TEDx talk. Abundance is a choice. So what needs to change internally, so that your clients can truly experience this transformation and show up as their authentic selves?

I'm going to turn the tables to your video lane and ask, because I remember when we were working together, we kind of hit a roadblock when it came to we were talking about stories and adding that and you had a direction you wanted to go. And we at this end, you know, Roger, and I were looking and thinking No, no, it needs to change, you know, in our order flow and tie in with the rest and to connect with your audience. And so we went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then finally, you came and went, Uh huh. So what was it? I'm going to toss the ball to you.

All right. So you know, I don't know if anybody here has ever heard of a robust puzzle. These are u b, U. S, or Rubis puzzle, and they are little images with words. And you have to try to figure out what the answer is. They're their brain teasers. And at first it just doesn't make any sense at all. And if you just read the answer, you'll go Oh, okay. Okay, that's kind of funny. I get how they, you know, organize this stuff. So it means, you know, mind over matter, you know, or whatever, right? And then eventually, you start to it comes into focus and use, your brain takes a while to warm up to get Get into flow with how to decode the puzzle. But until you have somebody showing you, here's what it looks like, here's how to, you know, it's just frustrating. It's so it's so irritating. And another thing that's really challenging, when you're passionate about making a difference for your audience, and you've got a message you really want to get across, you fall in love with your own baby, right, you do the best you can to get the message out there, and you fall in love with your baby. And you have to be willing to reorganize your baby, because one of the biggest mistakes that I've noticed I make, and I see this with my clients, and I know you see this all the time, Dorthea you really are trying to serve your client, and your message is all about you. It's not really about them. And their pain, and their problem and their issue and their need. It's your story, but you're revealing their pain. Through your story. If your story isn't doing that, you're not creating a connection with your audience, you're not creating that relationship that you want. So Dorthea it was really powerful working with you, because you did challenge me. But you also tuned me, right, you adjusted my vision, so that I could truly experience what a good message looks like, sounds like feels like that made all the difference in the world for me. So I cannot thank you enough. Had to change internally was willingness.

That willingness, it's that that you know, taking the courage, having that courage, just to move and let go of your baby, right? And think about really serving the audience because sometimes we think we're serving the audience, but we're not we're still focused on this is my this is my message. This is what I want to do. And this is how I think I've got it. Me. And and we want to go like little bulldozers. Right? And we're missing the point here. Because it's not about you. Yes, it's about the story. But it has to go and connect with the audience a what are the ways in which we can do that? To really hone in drive home your message so that people can walk away with it, that they can walk away? They walk out that door? And they know exactly, they know exactly what you're talking about? They feel it, experience it, and they can use your action stamp.

And it's great if they have a little sound bite. That's like the key message that you're trying to let them know. You know, abundance is a choice. That's a key message that you helped me communicate through my TEDx talk, you have a choice. And if you're not taking deliberate action, you're getting abundance by default, and it might not be what you want. So yeah, yeah. So Dorthea. Obviously, coming up with a really great talk is a process. It's not something that hey, presto happens instantly. Overnight. Boy do I wish it did. But no, it doesn't. So what's like a baby step that we should be paying attention to? That indicates we're on the right track?

Wow, that's that's an interesting question. I'm just going to backtrack a bit and comment on a you know, when you're talking about your speech, and abundance is a choice. And the message, which is very, very powerful, and very clear, is that once we get a speech together, like for example, you've given that TEDx talk and amazing and amazing talk, is that when we go back to that speech material, as our life moves on, we can change that we can tweak it, because there's never a and this may hurt some people's feelings, but there's never a perfect speech. There's a perfect speech for that time. And then, a few days later, a week, a month later, that speech can morph into something different, it can become even greater, even more than what it is on that first, first try. One baby step that I think people can take in terms of in terms of his speech, because there are a number of baby steps one is to take the action, sit down, and begin if you feel you've got something to say, just don't keep it in your head. Don't go, right, I've got something to say and start blogging. No, sit down and begin writing something just begin writing something out. And I would say a key thing here is what is it that you want your audience to walk away with? What is that message now that message will change? At first it might be oh, I want people to know about the environment, or I want people to know about abundance. I want but those are big topics. I mean, that's massive. The environment is massive. Abundance is huge, right? So look at that and you begin what is it that really matters to me that I can focus on that I know that I've experienced that I believe it and start breaking it down until you can refine and get your message into one sentence. So All your message, whatever it is fit in the palm of your hand. And you've probably many people have heard this before, but should fit in the palm of your hand less than 20 words, wow. And words is great. 15 words is great, but it should fit in the palm of your hand, and you should be able to rattle that message off. My message is Bert. And when I am finished, I want my audience to whatever it is that you want them to do, you know, whether it's to think believe act, there's something that you want them to do, when they walk out that door after listening to you. Well, that's assuming you're live and not on Zoom. I mean, you don't, that's the only way they could be walking out of the door of their office, whatever. Okay.

That's really brilliant. That is really, really brilliant. Thank you so much for that insight, Dorothy, because you're right on the money. And I know that you offered a free gift to the audience. So could you tell us a little bit about your free gift?

Well, the free gift that I'd like to offer the audience I mean, it's nothing, it's it's an intangible. And that free gift is to if you feel you've got any hesitation about writing, you know, I'm gonna ask you to backtrack, yes, you we can make that message. But look at yourself, what do you really feel about yourself? What do you believe about yourself, and if I may, I'm just going to kind of wind in something else here into this recording. Because what I'd like to do is I'd like everybody, if you're not into doing affirmations, do affirmations, if you have any hesitancy about stepping on a stage, or feel that you're not giving your best, believe in your best, and that is, say something like I, Elaine I Dorthea. I accept myself, I respect myself, I love myself unconditionally. And I have value. And the reason I'm saying this, this is my gift is that you say these things, you just don't see them as empty words, but you imbibe them with feeling for me, sometimes when I'm not feeling enough, I get up, I'd hop around the house, I go out hop around the yard, I have down the sidewalk, whatever it is. And I will say these to myself just to get that impetus. And I because we can never believe in ourselves like a healthy belief, not an arrogant belief, belief that we have value. And that what we offer to others is value and they can take that value. And it will help lighten their life, make their life brighter, make their life more abundant in love and in friendliness. I didn't grow up with that I had to work on that. When you asked me earlier, I went to do meditation, then I found affirmation, somebody gave me a list and I began working before I'd go to work at lunchtime coming home before going to bed. I basically just over and over again. And then one day I went to something called Reiki with a friend. And that's a Japanese Type healing where they do the hands thing. And I'm just going to share this, I know this is going on a bit longer. And this lady she and I used years ago, years ago, she put her hands across me that are supposed to take the energy, the universal energy and help you as their hands are going across, I broke into tears, I broke into tears, I could not stop crying. And in that moment, as I'm crying, I'm just wailing on this table, I can actually feel she's asking me questions, and I can actually feel this is gonna sound woowoo. But I could actually feel myself going through my mouth coming through my mother's womb. And I could feel the lack of confidence, the feeling the lack of worth. And I've now I now understand I was reading an article in Scientific American the other day. And there's a growing research now that saying in our DNA, if we have traumas traumas that are unresolved, and that's even in this lifetime, and for our children, if we have traumas that are unresolved that basically we can carry these, these, these sit in the in the DNA to sit in the genes and the cells, they have memory, they're not forgotten. And I realized that my journey in feeling good about myself was just not my journey alone. But it was also the journey of my family. Because we all came through the same room, and we're all doing the same thing. And I began to understand where my parents are coming from, instead of you know, you know, had a hard life this that they had their own journey, and it was now and a whole feeling of empathy, of understanding that was building and I now began to realize the value like that whole experience, that the abundance the feeling that you've got in yourself is absolutely critical to having a wholesome, happy, fulfilling life, with loving relationships around you. And really on that abundant journey that you're talking about abundance in every aspect, where we really do light up each other and light up ourselves by and that also lights up other people as well. And you

know, one of the things that I started doing with my affirmations that I found incredibly powerful. I start my affirmation with I'm so happy and grateful that I partner with the divine to You. And I, it's a reminder to me that I'm always in partnership with the Divine and everything I do. It's not all on me, it's not all on my shoulders to figure everything out and get everything done. It's up to me to partner with the divine, and then show up as my full, authentic real self. And I loved another thing that you said, Dorthea, you've said so much. That's really brilliant. But one of the key messages that I'm hearing you say is that improving your communication skills not only helps you communicate with other people, it helps you communicate with yourself better, because you don't realize the words that you're using, and whether your words are automatically empowering you or tearing you down. And just being aware of the message you're sharing. And being deliberate in the words you choose makes all the difference in the world. You have shared so much with us. And Dorothy, I love everything you're doing. Thank you for that incredibly generous gift. And one of the things that we always do here at the events journey is we turn the tables on our guests, we want to support you, because we know when we give is when we receive the most. So what can we do to serve you?

Oh, one of the things that probably would be very, very much appreciate, I'd be very grateful if people would sign up and subscribe to my YouTube channel. It hasn't been going very long, but it's Dorthea hendrix.com, YouTube Dorthea Hendrix, YouTube actually is just Dorthea Hendrix, YouTube, and just maybe sign on I give a lot of tips on public speaking sometimes I add personal stories, tidbits about general communication, communicating and relationships. And, and that would be really, really appreciated. be very grateful if people would do that.

That is great. And of course, I'll make sure that the link is in the show notes. Dorothea. Thank you so much. Now, everybody else, I need you to hold still for just a sec, because we're going to be activating abundance in just a minute. So are you ready to activate abundance in every single area of your life where you can get in flow with your business and your clients? It's as easy as you can imagine, to create the kind of revenue you really want in your business. You can join me for the abundance journey six week training and coaching program that help you turn your problems into prosperity. Just visit the abundance journey.com to sign up for our next adventure. All right, it's time to activate abundance. Can you believe how incredible Dorothy is? I mean, you can see what I love working with her. She just gets it at such an incredible level. So okay, we're gonna go through the five steps to activate abundance. And step one is gratitude. I mean, how can it get even better than this? I love that question. That is a super magic question. Because when you say how can it get even better than this, you're showing that you really appreciate the present moment, and you're ready for even more, and Dorothea brodit Her energy is so calming, and confident she believes in you. And she holds that space for you to experience everything you've ever imagined. And be true to yourself, really believe in yourself and own your message. So I so appreciate the way Dorothy shows up, and all of the wonderful things that she had to share with us. So that's gratitude step to acknowledge something you learned that was really profound for you. And I think one of the key things that Dorthea said, was truly about how you show up your message matters radically, because not only is your message for your audience, your message is for you too. And she talked about having self confidence and how refining your message gives you that confidence. You believe in yourself, not only because you can believe in your message and you know that it's aligned with who you truly are. You're being real, you're being authentic, you're being valuable. And then you can show up and not freak yourself out. Right, you can show up and hold the space for your clients. That's what they need you to do is to be there for them. So I really want to acknowledge that powerful perspective, that the message is really really valuable. And refining your message is worth the effort because it it totally transforms your business in every way imaginable because it transforms you and you are your business. So step two is appreciate or acknowledge step three is appreciate. I want to appreciate the kind of difference that this can make for me when I truly own my message and I'm comfortable with my message. Because I show up differently. When you're comfortable and you're confident your body language is different. Your voice is different. Your willingness to be there for people is totally different, you stop feeling like the world is pressuring you, and you're there, you're just ready to show up and be you. That's such a powerful space to come from. That's what I really appreciate about what Dorthea had to say, Step four is to activate a button. So there are two different ways to do that. The first way is to have a trigger. So every time something happens, you're going to assign a trigger to it. And then remember to take that action, that new perspective, okay. In this case, I think I'm going to do number two, which is get out my calendar, because it's really important for me that I have a consistent message for people. And I need to noodle with my message, because often, it takes me a while to get to the point, like I'm doing right now. So I loved what Dorothy had to say about taking the time to journal out what you want to say. And then summarize it down into just 10 to 20 words, with a really clear action that people can take. So I'll just do it really quickly. Right now. I want you to love your abundance journey, your life is a journey of abundance. And the fastest way for you to love that journey is to activate abundance in every single aspect of your life, every conversation, every thought, everything, activate abundance, it will change your life. Obviously, if it's a little too wordy, I need to work on that. But I'm going to take the time to write that down and refine it. And I'm going to put on my calendar that every week, I'm going to spend an hour coming up with another message that I really want to share and refining that message because it takes the commitment to a consistent action before you're gonna get the traction. So that's my commitment. That's number four. And number five, celebrate your progress. This is what it looks like when it's working. It doesn't mean it's completely done. It means you're in action. You're in flow, you're making it happen. You're in alignment with the Divine and collaborating with the divine. How can it get even better than this? I mean, this is awesome. So congratulations. I'm so glad you joined us today for the abundance journey. I look forward to seeing you next time.