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How To Be Present - The Demartini Show
Episode 15016th September 2022 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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In this episode Dr John Demartini reveals what may be holding you back from being mindfully present, and shares practical steps you can take that can help you transform your life from possibly being fragmented and reactive to poised and present.

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Transcripts

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Anytime you take out space and time for the mind and become present,

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you're in the soul, the state of unconditional love.

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And anytime you add space and time to the soul,

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you go into the mind and you go into judgment and disorder.

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I think most of us have heard somewhere along our journey in the development

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field about how important it is to be present with what you're doing.

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I think Eckhart Tolle talked about the now, being present.

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So let's address that. So if you have something to write with and right on,

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that might be your advantage, or something to type with.

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There's probably going to be a little bit of thinking in this one,

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because it's something that'll be a bit more abstract than some of the other

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classes I presented, these little 30 minute presentations.

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So, every time

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you perceive something, consciously,

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that has more advantages than disadvantages,

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or disadvantages than advantages,

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and you're conscious of the upsides and not of the downsides,

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or conscious of the downsides and not of the upsides,

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you split your mind up

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into conscious and unconscious haves and come out of a state of mindfulness,

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that's present,

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into a state where we store an impulse or an instinct

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emotion in the form of a memory and imagination.

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There's a thing called an episodic memory.

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And that episodic memory has both explicit, conscious,

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and implicit components.

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And it has data of where things are.

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Where was it that I perceive this? When was it that I perceived this?

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What exactly is it I'm perceiving? The what, the when, the where.

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Why am I perceiving it? The context.

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And who am I perceiving it in relationship to?

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So if I'm infatuated with somebody and I see an action that I find,

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you know, attractive, that I'm conscious of the upsides to,

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but not conscious of the downsides to, I can store that in a memory,

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an episodic memory of where it was, when it was, what it was,

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who is it to, to me and why I believed it was there,

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whether real or imagined, why I believed it was there.

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But the moment I do that and I store that in a memory

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and it either positive or negative,

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because our brain is homeostatic and tries to bring things into balance,

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whenever we are perceiving something in the external world that's imbalanced,

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it creates an anti memory

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spontaneously to neutralize the balance of

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facilitation and inhibition,

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depolarization and polarization in the brain,

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to keep the chemistry and the electronics in the brain back into balance,

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so we don't go have a runaway imbalanced chemistry, electronics.

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So our brain automatically creates the anti-memory in order to do that.

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But what's interesting about the anti-memory,

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the anti content to balance it, it

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is the unconscious mind that is the opposite that is

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bringing up to bring both the conscious and unconscious minds back in

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equilibrium to be fully conscious, so you're present.

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But what's interesting is they found out more recently,

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even though I've been discussing this for almost 40 something years now,

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44 years,

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they've recently discovered that within that episodic memory is

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an episodic imagination.

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And the episodic imagination is the anti-content,

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to neutralize it, in order to keep the mind present.

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Now, what that means is that every time we polarize the mind, our perceptions,

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and create an emotion of towards, seeking towards, an impulse towards,

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or an avoidance, an instinct away, impulses are towards,

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instincts are away.

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The moment we polarize our perceptions and divide our full conscious into

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conscious and unconscious halves,

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and store that in our subconscious mind as a memory,

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we create also an imagination that counterbalances it,

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in order to keep the past and the future present.

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The mind is actually doing what it can to make you present.

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And there's a difference between imagination of the future and the image of

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the present. Some people call visualizing it in the now.

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So as long as we have a polarized perception,

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we're going to be fragmenting and dividing our consciousness up

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into this conscious and unconscious halves,

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which creates a separation between memory and imagination and builds what's

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inside the mind called the arrow of time.

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The arrow of time underlies in physics what is called entropy,

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or the tendency towards disorder.

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So the more polarized our perceptions,

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the more we end up having an emotional disorder.

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And they give all kind labels to that, dissociative disorder, bipolar disorder.

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But the more we polarize our perception, that means if we see all positive,

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no negative, or 75% positive, 25% negative,

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consciously and we're burying that 25% unconsciously,

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our intuition is trying to bring out the other side with the anti memory in

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order to balance it,

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but we are sometimes too stubborn to actually listen to the intuitive part

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that's trying to make us aware of it. For instance,

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let's say you're highly infatuated with this guy, this new guy, and you think,

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oh my God, this is the one,

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and you're seeing more similarities than differences. Oh my God,

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we have the same number of eyes, same number of ribs, same number of teeth,

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same number of arms and legs, he's the soulmate.

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And you're living in some sort of a delusion that this is the man, or the guy.

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You start fantasizing about picket fences and houses and babies and all kind of

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stuff because you're dopamine and estrogen's running wild, endorphins

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are going off the track, serotonin is going up.

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The moment you do that, your intuition is saying, too good to be true,

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watch out, keep your eyes open, don't be vulnerable, don't be gullible,

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you know what's happened in the past, watch out, this can't be real.

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Your intuition is trying to whisper the downsides to create the anti memory,

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to bring you back into homeostasis, but you, with your persona,

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the mask you wear,

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the personas are the fragmentations that emerge as a result of these imbalanced

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perspectives, want to hold onto that dopamine fixation, that high,

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that feel good situation,

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and lose some of your rational ordered state and lose the

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presence and get caught in the fantasies of the imagination of the future,

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that is usually the opposite of the pains of the past,

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memories of the past that surface.

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And anything that's stored in the subconscious mind

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and instincts and make us seek and avoid,

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and we're basically externally run instead of being present and run from within,

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governed from within.

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And the second we actually have that intuitive part come in to try to bring us

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back down into a balance to extract meaning,

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the mean between these pairs of opposites, and bring us back into balance.

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If we listen to the intuition and allow ourselves to find that other side,

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that skeptical side we're infatuated,

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or that optimistic side when we're resentful,

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and bring them back into equilibrium, we become present.

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But the second we keep it polarized we create memory and imagination

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and we create the arrow of time and we end up with the disorder and we age.

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Aging is a byproduct of mental dissociations in memory and imagination,

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the entropy that occurs in the arrow of time in the mind.

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Saint Augustine described it very beautifully when he was trying to describe

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what exactly is time? Is it the past? Well, no,

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we can't really actually define that, it's past, it's fleeting. It's the future?

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Well, that's just an imagination.

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The actual thing we only have is this infinitesimal sliver called the present.

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And how wide is that actually in the first place?

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That present is actually the only thing that's actual,

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the rest of it is just a subjectively biased reality as a result of these

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imbalanced perspectives.

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I've said in my Breakthrough Experience program where I actually address these

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issues and show people how to integrate them to become more present, empowered,

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and purposeful, and poised,

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is that memory and imagination store illusions until you're ready for truth.

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Memory and imagination store the concepts of timefulness

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until you're ready for timelessness.

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It stores our animal survival responses

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until we're ready for an angelic presence.

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Angelic presence mean the guardian angel within that's actually,

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homeostatically bringing our mind back into equilibrium, into present.

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But because of the anti memories,

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which actually have the anti time in it,

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the second we listen to our intuition and I'm going to define intuition is not a

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gut instinct that some people have misinterpreted,

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but an actual homeostatic mechanism trying to bring chemistry and

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electronics in the brain back into balance.

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We have neurotransmitters that transmit chemistry between neurons at synapses

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and they're released in synaptic boutons and go on to the other and cause of

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post synaptic response,

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that facilitates or inhibits and causes electronic alterations.

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We also have electronic conduction. So we have chemistry, electronics.

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We also have photonic transmission.

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Photonic transmission is areas of the brain are connected to other areas of the

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brain,

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and even the DNA inside the nerve cells are connected to other DNA in the nerve

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cells to transmit information between neurons in regions of the brain.

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But we also have one more.

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We have what appears to be a quantum entangled aspect of the brain,

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particularly when we're in a gamma state of the brain.

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When we have a perfect alpha rhythm between beta and delta,

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day and night cycles you might say, wake and sleep,

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if they're perfectly balanced, we get an alfa rhythm, we get an alfa rhythm,

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we get gamma burst and gamma bursts synchronize the brain and create an

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entangled synchronicity in the brain, it fires off,

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that dissolves the entropy and the disorder in the brain and allows us

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to have a eureka moment, an insight, an inspiration,

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and actually get present for a moment.

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And we're really lucidly present in that moment. And then we have in a sense,

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an empowered state. And the greater the number of those elusive moments,

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lucid moments, not elusive moments, but lucid moments,

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the more in clear we are in consciousness,

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the less noise we have in our brain,

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all that noise is all the facilitations and inhibitions that have not been

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balanced.

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Our intuition is attempting to balance

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the electronics and chemistry.

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There's literally a chemical balance and electronic balance,

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photonic instantaneity and this synchronicity going on in the brain,

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in order to help us do it. And the moment they're actually in the present,

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we actually have what is called spontaneous potentials in the brain.

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When we're not present, we're in past and future,

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and we're sitting there oscillating in our subconscious mind,

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not our superconscious awareness,

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we are sitting there in what is called evoked potentials.

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Evoked potentials it means are extrinsically driven stimuli that we're

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emotionally reacting to instead of an intrinsic calling from within that's

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basically poised, and present, and lucid. And in that state,

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we're not in a timeful mind, we're in a timeless mind, ageless body,

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as Deepak used to say, because there's no aging in that moment.

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There's no entropy. There's no arrow of time in that moment.

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There's no disturbance or imbalance perspectives in that moment.

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So the quality of our life is based on the quality of the questions we ask.

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If we ask questions that equilibrate the mind

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and take us from this disordered entropic state into a

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negentropic life state, I call life physics, we

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actually become present in the moment.

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And in that moment we have lucidity,

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a moment of enlightenment and photons and entanglement occur.

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And that's something that physicist and neurologists are now pondering.

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I wrote about this when I was 23 and I've been contemplating this since I was

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18,

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but the evidence is now finally emerged to demonstrate this in neurophysiology

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and even neuropsychiatry.

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But what we do is we go through and we're so used to having this amygdala

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response to avoid pain and seek pleasure, avoid predator, seek prey,

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avoid challenge, seek support, avoid difficulty,

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seek ease, that we keep trying to separate these inseparable's,

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divide these indivisibles, label these unlabelbles,

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and name these ineffable things,

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and polarize these unpolarizable states that are actually entangled in the brain

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and synchronous in the brain,

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and that's when we get into these conscious and

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our power, the power of the present.

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Now let's look at what that means.

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If you infatuate with somebody and you're conscious of the upsides,

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unconscious of the downsides, and put them on a pedestal,

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you'll minimize yourself relative to them.

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You'll be too humble to admit what you see in them is inside you.

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And you'll disown that part. And every part you disown is a void,

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an emptiness. That's why when you judge people, positively or negatively,

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you have an emptiness inside, it's incomplete,

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because your intuition knows that's not the whole of that individual.

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And it's not the whole of you because when you minimize yourself,

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that's not authentic you and you want to be loved for who you are and that's not

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authentic.

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When you resent somebody and look down on them and you're conscious of the

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downsides and unconscious the upsides,

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and you exaggerate yourself and pride looking down on them and too proud to

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admit that I do that. I can't believe I would do such a thing. No way.

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The second you go and look down on them and exaggerate yourself,

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again you're not authentic. So when you exaggerate and minimize yourself,

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you're inauthentically,

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is eroded and you're disempowered because you're having disowned parts,

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missing parts, and you feel empty.

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And until you bring those back into balance and see

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both sides of yourself, synchronously, there's no present.

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You don't have presence unless you bring those into equilibrium at the same

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time. I like to describe that as love,

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love's a synthesis. See, if you imagine you're infatuated, that's a thesis,

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and resentful, that's an antithesis.

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And if you put them together and you get a synthesis and you do that

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synchronously, you have love.

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Love's a balance of all pairs of opposites that you could ever perceive.

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In the Breakthrough Experience program that I've been teaching for 33 plus years

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now, I introduce people to the Demartini Method,

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which is a very reproducible, duplicatable,

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scientific method to integrate these parts and bring you into presence

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and help you integrate what has been fractured, fragmented,

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parted you might say. And what's interesting, it's like

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we have all these things, you've said to yourself sometimes that, you know,

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I feel like a part of me does this, another part of me does that.

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These are the fractured parts of you.

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And those are sitting stored in memory and imagination and the purpose of memory

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and imagination, storing those,

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and causing us aging with the arrow of time and entropy,

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is that we leave nothing unloved that way.

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So anything that you haven't loved will keep running your life until you love

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it. And loving it means to see both sides of it and liberate it.

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Because anything you infatuate with occupy space and time in your mind.

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Anybody whose ever gone to bed with an infatuation, a strong infatuation,

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know it's hard to sleep.

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Your mind is racing because of these facilitation and inhibition imbalances.

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And you got all this noise in the brain and you can't get them out of your mind.

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And then if you resent somebody, again,

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you've been so resentful that they occupy space and time in your mind,

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and you got this noise and you got these imbalances of conscious and unconscious

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perceptions. And again, you got this noise and you can't sleep.

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And that's letting you know that you're not seeing the whole,

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you're seeing parts and you're fractured and you're having an imbalance

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perspective, and your intuition is being not listened to.

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And your intuition is trying to bring them together, and at dream nights,

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when you actually get to dream, that's when they've come together.

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The dreams are attempts in your mind at night to bring pairs of opposites

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together so you can be refreshed in the morning.

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You look at the content of a dream you find out that it's anti content

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experiences in your life that are counterbalancing to bring you whole again.

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Dreams are not just irrational things unless you don't know how to ask the right

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questions, to see what it's trying to do.

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It's trying to bring the pairs of opposites together

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It is homeostatic. Our brain is homeostatic.

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It's a highest value seeking organ. What does that mean?

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That means that we have a hierarchy of values.

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When we live by our highest value and live authentically around what we value

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most in life, our identity revolves around that,

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when we do them we're authentic, we have homeostasis and order in our life.

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And if we try to live by lower values,

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because we're comparing ourselves to others and judging ourselves relative to

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others,

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or looking down and judging them relative to us and down in our amygdala,

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we get all this noise in the brain and we end up having a

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non oriented self, you might say disowned parts, all these disowned parts.

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The reason why you disown parts, because it's not you.

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Anything that's low on your values, isn't you,

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what's highest on your value is you.

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And when you live by priority and delegate the lower priority things,

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you end up more integrated and you end up more present and you end up more

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focused.

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That's why you're focused and inspired and disciplined in your highest value and

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your procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate in the lowest,

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because there's time and space in the mind.

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Anytime you take out space and time from the mind and become present,

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you're in the soul, the state of unconditional love.

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And anytime you add space and time to the soul,

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you go into the mind and you go into judgment and disorder.

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And the disorder is a feedback mechanism to guide you back to the soul.

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All the symptoms that go on and all the emotions that go on in your life are

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nothing more than feedback mechanisms,

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homeostatic feedback mechanisms to try to get your awareness,

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to see what it is you're judging that you haven't loved,

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because the judgment is where the emptiness is and the love is where the

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fulfillment is.

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It's trying to get you back in equilibrium and get you back into present.

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And if you get present, you're liberated from all that emotional baggage,

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because those are the things that put bags under your eyes and age you,

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bag-age,

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because they make it' hard to sleep at night and you look like you're aged.

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So emotional baggage is nothing more than imbalanced perspectives and

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perceptions about reality. And the second we do,

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we have what is called false attribution biases.

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We exaggerate them and we think they're the cause of our pleasure when we're

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infatuated. We exaggerate them,

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we think they're the cause of our pain when we're resentful.

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And we give a false credit or a false blame,

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and when we do and we minimize ourselves or exaggerate ourselves in turn,

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we give ourselves false blame and credit, or false credit and blame.

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And we end up exaggerating and minimizing ourselves and exaggerating and

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minimizing others, iInstead of seeing people for who they are.

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Aristotle said in his time, way back when, whenever we exaggerate or minimize,

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or have excess and deficiency of perception, we're in vice.

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And whenever we bring those back into the golden mean, the mean,

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the pair of opposite mean, the average between them, we end up having virtue,

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the true virtue as he called it. And this is basic physiology, basic neurology.

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Our brain at the most primitive level is a reflex, a single reflex,

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a mono synaptic reflex, where we have a stimulus response,

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like a reflex hammer on our knee. But as we go higher into the brain,

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out of the spinal cord and up into layers of the brain,

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higher more advanced forward areas of the brain,

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we get interneurons between stimulus and response,

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sensory neurons and motor neurons.

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And the number of interneurons geometrically grow as

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it's like a sample size of what you can do to respond to a stimulus.

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And as the sample size gets bigger and bigger and bigger,

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they approximate the mean and therefore we see both sides of an event and we

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synchronize the brain.

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So every time we're living by higher priority and we're getting blood, glucose,

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and oxygen in the forebrain and a stimulus comes in it's then weighed out,

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brought into a broader perspective, seen both sides of things,

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and then we act, not react,

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and we're present instead of living in the past and future with a subconsciously

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stored impulse and instinct.

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And therefore we end up being more whole instead of parts.

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And we integrate instead of disintegrate. And we don't talk about, well,

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part of me wants this, another part of me wants that,

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that's a sign of the fractured self,

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the sign of the conscious and unconscious split,

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instead of being mindful where we say, I'm clear, I am certain.

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The signs you have mindfulness,

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the signs that you're present is that you have gratitude, love,

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inspiration, enthusiasm, and you're certain, and you're present.

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I call these the transcendentals.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I teach people how to wake up that and I take

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them through a model and a method and they go methodically,

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they take something that they're highly emotionally charged about,

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and I take the most charged things they can think of.

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And I show them how to dissolve those, integrate those,

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bring those into balance and have gratitude, love, inspiration, enthusiasm,

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certainty and presence, so they're clear, they're focused.

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When they do they're in their forebrain,

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and that area of the brain is purposeful, meaningful, inspired,

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present, strategic, it has greater space and time horizons,

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broader perspectives, more experience, instead of just emotional reactions,

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it's a systems 2 thinking where it's methodical,

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but it's strategic and it's purposeful,

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instead of being impulsive and instinctual and survival oriented.

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So every time we actually integrate the brain and that's done by questions,

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my Demartini Method is a series of very precise questions. I mean,

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very precise questions on taking any perception you have and balancing it out,

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to make your mind go from past and future and aging into a present state.

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That's why when people finish the Breakthrough

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method, they look like they've taken five years off,

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literally their physiology changes, their facial expressions,

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because a lot of those emotions that we have stored in our brain and our body

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and the subconscious mind show up in impulses and instincts,

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which are basically muscles. We have what is called agonist and antagonist.

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And every impulse has a series of muscles to try to seek something and every

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instinct has a series of muscles to try to avoid something. And all of those,

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if there's an imbalance and there's charges and emotions there,

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the agonists and antagonists are not working gracefully. We don't have grace.

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We have disgrace. Because we're not seeing the order. We're seeing the disorder.

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And the moment we bring those back into balance, there's grace, gracias,

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gratefulness,

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and the agonist antagonists in the muscles work together in a smooth response,

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in a reciprocal pair of opposite manner to make sure that we move fluently.

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Our fluency is proportion to the congruency of when we live in our highest

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values, where we're most objective, most neutral, most loving, most grateful,

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most inspired, et cetera.

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But when we're down into our survival part of our brain,

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our subcortical area of the brain,

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and we're seeking and avoiding and we're trying to, you know, polarize things,

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we automatically have disgrace and we have reactions and we have almost like a

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jerk reaction, if you will. And we're jerky and we're not fluent,

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we're incongruent and influent, instead of fluent and congruent.

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So that's why I basically take people through the Demartini Method to give them

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the questions,

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to help balance out their mind so they can liberate themselves from the baggage

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that's been stored in the consciousness and the subconscious mind.

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And I believe that the subconscious mind,

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which is there putting entropy into your life,

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is the secret of the aging process.

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I wrote a book called the Illusional Basis of Man's Health and Disease when I

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was 23 years old, I published it not till I was 27,

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cause I didn't have the money for it till then.

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But I put this book together on how perceptual illusions affect the aging

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process and the illness process.

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I've developed it much further in the last 45 years, 44 years.

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And I'm more certain than ever about the impact of it.

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But every time we lopside our perception, every time we infatuate or resent,

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every time we judge ourselves or others, we're aging and we're creating illness.

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And the illness is basically an autonomic epigenetic and

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physiological response to these misperceptions to try to give

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us feedback with those symptoms that we are not loving.

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What if every symptom you had in your life,

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in your physical body and even in areas of your life were nothing but feedback

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mechanisms to guide you back to authenticity so you could love?

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What would happen if you found out that everything that's going on in your life

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is actually on the way to do that,

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to help you become present so you can fulfill your life and have meaning,

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and actually to feel the presence of the magnificence of life instead of the

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insignificance of life?

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Cause when we're automatons reacting constantly from the external world,

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we feel insignificant and the world runs us. But when we're actually present,

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we feel like we're on top of the world from the soul level and looking down from

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a celestial perspective, having a terrestrial experience,

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feel called by something on the planet to do something deeply meaningful that's

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expansive.

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So I'm a firm believer that we have some capacity to ask the right questions to

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liberate ourselves from this state.

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And that's what I teach the Demartini Method for in the Breakthrough Experience.

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So I know that if you want to be present, there's a science to it. ,

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you know,

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so you can sit and meditate and hope to get there over time and meditate and

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that's a fantastic tool to do it if you're not escaping with meditation,

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but actually being present with meditation.

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And you go back to one of my earlier videos on the meditation process and

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mindfulness relating to that. But if you become really present in meditation,

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you can do that, but there's a science, so it's not a hit and miss system.

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Because I can't guarantee you that meditation,

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I've been doing meditation for 50 years and I can't guarantee that every single

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meditation's going to integrate pairs of opposites as efficiently as the

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Demartini Method,

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because there you're actually precisely taking a specific event and specifically

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neutralizing that event and bringing it into the present.

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And so it doesn't run your life anymore.

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Instead of a hit and miss meditative experience and

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there's a way of doing it repeatedly and scientifically, guaranteed it.

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It's amazing what happens if you take the time to do the method.

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So I want to share that with you because I want you to be able to know you can

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become present and empowered.

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And so the thing that Eckhart Tolle was talking about in The Power of Now is not

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something you just hope and pray for and hope to meditate and get.

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It's a way of absolutely doing and getting to that state at anytime you want to

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in life. And it's about asking the right questions. Again,

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the quality of our life is based on the quality of the question you ask,

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and the most powerful questions are ones that equilibrate and liberate the mind

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from emotional vicissitudes and polarizations that keep us externally

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impacted instead of internally driven. I said on The Secret many times,

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the movie,

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when the voice and the vision on the inside is louder than all opinions on the

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outside, you master your life. So if you'd like to master your life,

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you want to definitely learn the tool, the method, the Demartini Method,

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for that purpose.

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And which is one of the reasons I tell people to come to the Breakthrough

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Experience, over and over again,

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because I know that they could go their whole life and not learn that tool.

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I've asked people at the end of the Breakthrough Experience all these years,

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how many of you after this weekend learned something this weekend you could have

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gone through your whole life and never have learned if you hadn't been here?

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And every hand goes up week after week after week.

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So I'm certain that there's a science to it. I made it a science.

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I've worked on it for 50 years to do that.

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And I know that you can take your neurology and take

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psychology, take command of it,

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and take your physiology and take command of it and do something extraordinary

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with your life.

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So if you have not been to the Breakthrough Experience

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I've had people come back many times and work on other issues and refresh that,

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because I don't ever do it exactly the same each week.

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I'm constantly refining and researching and learning and keep polishing and

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adding. And so, but if you have not been to the Breakthrough Experience,

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please come master your mind so you can master your life,

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and learn how to be present instead of caught in memories and imaginations and

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trapped by emotions that are causing you splits,

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and living with impulses and instincts, like at a survival.

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If you want out of survival and you want into thrival,

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come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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I'm going to teach you how to live congruent according your highest values,

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how to not subordinate to outer authorities or waste

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other people to live in your values.

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You're not here to put people on pedestals or pits,

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you're here to put them in your heart,

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how to do what you love and love what you do,

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how to be inspired by your life and grateful for your life and how to actually

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take something and be present with it. See, when somebody's setting a goal,

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if they still have a fantasy, it's an imagination,

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and they're going to have memories and imaginations distorting that goal.

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But the second you set a true objective,

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which is what the executive center wants you to do,

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you're going to be present and you're not going to be thinking of imagining in

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the future, you're going to be actually in there, now.

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When you actually feel that it's impossible for you not to fulfill your

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objective and you feel it's your destiny, done, it's already now,

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now you've got a real objective in life. So if you want to turn your fantasies,

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which are stored in the memories and imagination, which age you,

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and create trepidation and anxieties,

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you want to show how to dissolve those phobias and fantasies that are there

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running most people's lives in memory and imagination and get present.

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Let me show you how to do that,

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because it's amazing the difference when you set a goal from that perspective,

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now you're present and it's impossible in your mind, you don't have uncertainty,

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you have certainty,

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you have presence and you're actually not in this vicissitude state,

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you're in this present state. So if you like to be present,

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I just gave you a little dissertation on presence.

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But if you like to experience it live, come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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I'm certain that the method is going to be worth its weight in gold.

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And it's like the golden mean of Aristotle.

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And I'm certain that what you'll learn there is just a vast amount of

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information that's going to be very helpful to master your life.

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So if you want to master your mind and want to master your life,

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I've got bunches of proven. It says seven personal development,

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there's a lot more than seven, really there,

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but I'm going to give you a gold mine there,

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and I want you to come there because that way I can make a difference in your

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life. I absolutely love watching people's lives transform.

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And there's lots of tears of gratitude in this program of watching people change

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right in front of your eyes and you're going to be one of them.

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So I hope to see you there.

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I look forward to seeing you at the Breakthrough Experience and I look forward

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to seeing you next week when I do my presentation again on the next topic.

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So thank you for joining me. See you at the Breakthrough Experience. Love you.