Episode 155. How Long Is a Lifetime?

This week on Counselor Chat, I’m zooming out.

Over the past few weeks we’ve talked about college exploration, career research, brackets, and future possibilities. But in this episode I wanted to step back and ask a bigger question — one I ask my upper elementary and middle school students every year:

How long is a lifetime?

To explore that question, I use a simple visual with jellybeans, where each one represents a day of life. When students see them all laid out it feels like forever… until we start sorting them into things like sleeping, working, and everyday routines.

That’s when perspective shifts.

When we do the math together, students realize the average person may spend about 43 years working before retirement. And that leads to one of my favorite questions to ask them:

“If you’re going to spend 43 years working, how do you want those years to feel?”

Instead of focusing only on what job they want someday, students begin thinking about the kind of life they want to build — and how the effort and skills they build now create opportunities later.

In This Episode

• The jellybean lifetime visual and why it resonates with students

• How I help students see the value of their time and future choices

• Why asking students how they want life to feel changes the conversation

• The connection between effort today and opportunities later

• The transferable skills that prepare students for any career path

Sometimes the most powerful lessons aren’t about choosing a career yet.

They’re about helping students understand that their time matters.

Because when you see your life represented by jellybeans, it becomes real.

Resource Mentioned

Future Plans Lesson (How Long Is A Lifetime?)

Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcast

Join Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!

Connect with Carol:

• TpT Store
• Counseling Essentials Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Elementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group
• Caught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook Group
• High School Counselor Connection Facebook Group

Mentioned in this episode:

Perks Membership

You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're

in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat. I'm your host, Carol. And today we are zooming way out.

I mean, we've spent this month talking about college, we've talked about careers,

we've talked about brackets and research and options.

But today I want to talk about something bigger.

I want to ask a question that I ask my upper elementary and middle school kids every single year.

How long is a lifetime?

And I have to tell you,

you know you have a good lesson when the teacher who once told you a regular lesson would have been better now says, this is my absolute favorite lesson you do every year.

And that happened with this one.

And honestly, it's one of my favorites too.

Now, if you've ever seen that jelly bean video that equates jelly beans to every day in your life,

you know exactly what I'm going to be talking about.

Each jelly bean represents one day.

And when you see them all laid out,

thousands of them,

it feels like forever.

But then the video starts sorting them. Sleeping, working,

eating, cooking,

bathroom related activities,

scrolling, commuting.

And suddenly those days,

it doesn't feel like forever anymore.

And for the average person,

the lifespan is around 72 years.

And now I have students do some quick math with me.

Take away about five years of preschool,

take away 13 years of elementary through high school,

take away four to five years for college or training.

And now we look at retirement and that average is the age of 67.

And what's left?

About 43 years of working life.

43.

And that's when the room gets quiet because 43 years sounds long,

until it doesn't.

And I asked them, if you're going to spend 43 years working,

how do you want those years to feel?

Not what do you want to be,

but how do you want it to feel?

Do you want to dread Mondays? Do you want to feel proud?

Do you want to help people?

Do you want flexibility?

Do you want to be able to travel?

Do you want creativity? Do you want stability.

And that question. I think it shifts everything.

Because now we're not just talking about careers.

We're talking about life design.

But we also talk about how timelines can shift.

Maybe someone takes a gap year, maybe they change careers,

maybe. Maybe they go back to school, they retire early, they work longer, they start their own business,

they stay home with their family.

Maybe they go to work later on in life.

Life isn't linear,

but here's what doesn't change.

Effort now creates options later.

And this is where it beautifully connects to everything we've done this month.

Love versus effort.

March Madness. Choices, College research, career exploration.

Because if students want more choices,

the work they put in now, it matters not because grades are everything,

but because effort builds skills.

Skills build confidence,

and confidence, it builds opportunity.

So in this lesson, I like to call it How Long is a Lifetime Activity?

The students really reflect on how they want their life to feel.

We actually create our own timeline of the events that we want to happen in our life.

And we put in how they want their life to feel, what kind of impact they want to have,

what they value,

what they're willing to work towards.

We don't tell them what to choose.

All we do is we help them think.

And that is powerful.

And I always tell them, you don't have to have it all figured out,

but you do need to understand that your time is valuable,

because when you see your life in jelly beans,

it becomes real.

And I have to go back to that teacher comment.

Earlier in the year, when we were doing some minute meetings and goal setting, I got feedback that maybe a regular lesson would have been better.

And I mean, that's fair.

We try things, we adjust, we learn.

Sometimes we fall flat on our face and fail.

But now that same teacher says,

this is my absolute favorite lesson you do every year.

And I think that's because this one sticks.

Doesn't feel like a worksheet. It doesn't feel like a lecture.

It feels like perspective.

And the big takeaway for students is, if you're going to spend 43 years working,

make it something you can enjoy.

And if you want to enjoy it,

start building the skills. Now,

I always like to ask them,

if you have to start working for 43 years,

when should you start preparing for that?

And I love when they say, oh, 23 or this age. And then I point to the timeline,

like, so you would be here on our timeline, like past college. You'd already be starting to work. Is that the best time to start preparing?

And so we see it kind of bump down until right now.

Because we really want our kids to start thinking about their future so that they can make it something that they enjoy.

And if they want to enjoy it, they have to start building the skills now.

Their work ethic, their resilience, their curiosity,

their responsibility,

their self awareness.

Those are portable and they travel with you into any career.

So my friends, as we wrap up March and after all the fun,

all the exploration,

this lesson, it really anchors it.

It says this isn't about a college pennant. This isn't about a bracket.

This isn't about picking a job in middle school.

It's about helping students see that their time matters.

And when they understand that motivation, it starts to shift.

Not because we scare them,

but because we showed them perspective.

So I'm going to leave you with the same question I ask my kids.

How long is a lifetime?

And how do you want yours to feel?

Because friends,

we're spending our jelly beans too.

And I hope you're spending yours doing work that really feels meaningful,

that feels happy,

joyous,

and leaves you feeling really fulfilled.

And if you'd really like to check out this lesson, how long is a lifetime? I'm going to leave a link in the show notes. It walks you through step by step through the reflection,

gives you all the links that you need.

And it's really, it's structured, it's thought provoking and honestly, it is one of my favorite conversations of the year.

So my friends, thank you so much for spending once again part of your day with me.

And until next time, I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast.

Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player. And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Want to connect?

Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.