The new year is right around the corner.  It will come and it will go, what you leave in its place is 100% up to you!

In this episode I am going through the big 3 pillars of Family Goal Planning and HOW to do it! 

1.     Where to start

2.     What the goals can look like

3.     Your first action step!

You will want to take a listen so you are ready when that ball drops and be able to take advantage of as much of 2022 as possible!

About the Host: 

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor.  

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live.   

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, set their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.

(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior, and Psychology. )  

LINKS:

Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault 

Website- https://www.nellieharden.com

Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/    

 Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/

Thanks for listening!

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the

kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their

life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570

family project. Let's go

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570

family project podcast. You guys. It is deep into the

holiday season right now for you when this is coming out. I'm a

little further back right now. This is being recorded in

November. But I know when we are coming out we are super deep

into the holiday season. So I hope you've been having a good

time. I hope you've been having safe travels. I hope all of

those extended family get togethers have been joyous or at

least as joyous as they can be. Next week, I'm going to come to

you with some information on repairing some of those

repairing yourself after those. So stay tuned for next week's

episode. But today, you guys, I always take this time of year,

this last couple of weeks of a year, and wrap up the year that

I've been in and really start to put together the year that I am

going into. I don't know if that's something you do to some

people do it at the beginning of the next year. For me, I just

like to take advantage of every single second of a year. And so

I like to do it beforehand. So I'm already when the year comes

about, but we are all different. But the the facts, you know,

stay the same that we are transitioning from one year to

another now, is the time actually different? No, right?

You're still gonna wake up on January 1, as you did December

31, and so on. But mentally, it is a shift, it's a perspective

shift, we are going from 2021 to 2022, which is a mouthful to say

Can I just say that for a second.

So mentally, it is different. And we know through the work

that we've done here, through the work of so many that have

come before us that it really is our perspectives that tell what

our truth is. And so if your perspective, if you're mentally

changing and transitioning from one year to another, then that

is a step. It's a doorway that you're going through. And that

means that we're going to have some different perspectives,

different goals than we are and goal. Goal making and creating

and achieving is something that many, many, many people do at a

year change, including myself, I also do it at my own year

changes, right my birthday decade changes when I go from my

30s to my 40s, my 40s to my 50s and etc, hopefully my 80s to my

90s One day, whatever that looks like. But I have different goals

when these transitions happen. And I want to walk you through

some really good practices for doing goals. So it's not just

haphazard and then they fall apart on January 10. Right? I

want to help you make some really concrete goals not only

for yourself, but also what it looks like to walk forward with

some family goals. And if you listened to the podcast with

Elaine Mason, I believe it was episode 11. We walked through a

little bit of that in what she does with her family to it was

really powerful. So I encourage encourage you to go back and

listen to that. But let's talk a little bit about this new year

goal making and the 6570. Right that's how many days are in 18

years. This is our runway, that our training zone for us parents

to teach our kids it's their runway to adulthood. And we are

the architects of that time. So if we are going to build smart,

right we're going to build smart we're going to plan smart we're

going to design smart in order to give them all of these

experience and help them develop these self led discipline and

leadership skills before they leave home. So they're not

leaving home still in the parent lead discipline realm. Right,

then there's some things we could do here. Now we've heard

about smart goals before. Let me just remind you real quick, so

they are specific. They're measurable. That's always a

sticking point for many goals. They're attainable, though. But

also, not just attainable, like, Yep, I could do that. It's like

looking at a pool and saying, Okay, I'm going to give myself a

goal of swimming one lap right. Now. For some that is the be hag

the big, hairy, audacious goal. But for many people swimming one

lap, it's like, oh, I can for sure do that. That's an easy box

to check. So we want it to be attainable, but not an easy box

to check, right? We need to stretch ourselves outside of the

comfort zone a little bit, because that's where growth

happens. So attainable is a relevant, right? Is it actually

moving you toward your goals? Is it moving in synchronous in

synchronicity with your values, we'll talk about that in a

second. And time bound, of course, it's going to be time

bound, we're talking about a year here, so but you might be

breaking it down even further. I personally love to I look at the

year, but then I break it into quarters. Because if I say I'm

going to give myself a whole year to do you know, whatever an

activity, whatever this activity is, I am going to wait until

September, October and be like, Oh, my goodness, yeah, I need to

do that. Or most likely forget about it by September or

October, and then it never gets done. So I were I look at the

whole year, break it down into quarters, and then I only have

three goals per quarter. And then I break those down into the

months that I'm doing and always make sure I'm focused toward

that those three goals in whatever I'm doing every day,

right, that's relevant. It's time bound. It's attainable, but

it stretches me. It's measurable. They're very

specific. Okay, so I love the idea of really looking at this

space. So if you look back on all the years that you've been

alive, I was born in 1978, which seems forever ago and yesterday

at the same time. And so when I look back at 1987, right, I'm

like, What did I leave in? 1987? What did I do with 1987? Right?

I was in? I guess I was in elementary at that time.

Going into adulthood, I think about the year I don't know,

2002? What did I do in 2002? What did I leave there, right?

And so when you're thinking about this year coming up, what

do you want to leave in the space of 2022, it will come and

it will go. And you get to choose what to put in its place

in your life and your family's life. So that when you're

looking back, you could say this is what was in the place of

2022. Right? It's not just this ambiguous time that's rolling by

there's purpose and intention, especially when we're in our

6570 that we get to put there and and intentionally build

toward that year, what are we going to leave in the space of

2022? Okay, so there's really three things I want to go over

here. And it's, we want to start with the values. Okay, I told

you, I'd talk about values a little bit. So you're going to

have personal values and family values. And the family values

are really something that you want to talk about with your

family, your personal values you could talk about with yourself,

and you can have some, you know, good journal talks with yourself

in there or what have you. But there is beautiful, you know,

values out there, there's concrete values, there's, you

know, harsh values, there's very, very truthful values,

there's all these values out there. And you can literally

just, you know, Google a values list. And really look through

those. I know Brene Brown has a great one,

just off the top of my head, but you can look through those and

say which ones really define me and just circle all the ones

that do and then take that list. I don't know, maybe you have

eight to 10 of them, let's say and you want to say okay, out of

these eight to 10 which are the most important to me, right? And

which one of these kind of fit into another one for me? So I'll

give you an example. My personal values my personal life values

are wisdom, love and integrity. Okay, so family, for example,

family is a value and it's very, very, very important to me, but

Val family for me, fits underneath wisdom, love and

integrity, okay, I need to have integrity with my family, I need

to be able to love and share love with my family. And I need

to have wisdom to lead my family. So that's what I mean

about, you know, find out what they are and what kind of fits

into one another. Because I really want you to focus in on

two, maximum three values that you know, and you can just

rattle off like that, right? These are my life values for

your family, they might be things like, you know, for ours,

our connection, courage and self led leadership. So connection,

courage and self led leadership is our family values, and

everything else falls under that or isn't as important as those

things. But those things are our ultimate most important. And you

would say, well, where's love in there? Well, love for us is

under courage, right? Having the courage to love somebody that

takes vulnerability that takes being able to use your patience,

right? Connection is certainly, or love is certainly a part of

connection, and then that leadership, right leading with

love. So that's where that comes in. So just to give you some

examples there, but my point is, your goals have to start with a

foundation of where your values are coming from. Okay? Now, the

second thing that you're going to do after you figured out your

personal and your family values, the second thing you're going to

do is write out your goals, right, have a great family

planning session. I know some families that go away for the,

you know, for a weekend and have this and, you know, figure this

out sitting mountainside and some beautiful villa or what

have you, or you could do in your living room, whatever. But

talk about the year that has gone by, right. Hopefully you

had some goals for this year. And if you didn't, you're

starting a new tradition. And that's cool. My family does this

every single year. And it is so fun. We've been doing this for

years now. And I love looking back, I have the you know, we

give little sheets of paper and things like that. And I love

looking back on. What were my daughter's goals for the next

year when she was six. Right? It was like, I really want to get a

cartwheel, right. You know, things like that. It's so fun to

look back on. But talk about the year past, you know, what did

you love about it? What goals did you accomplish if you did

have goals? But definitely what did you love about it? What

didn't you like so much about it, and how you will be able to

pivot in 2022 in order to make those things better. Okay, so

that's what we want to start off with with this number two, and

then really start dissecting what your goals are going to be

for 2022. And you're going to have personal and you're going

to have family and if it applies, you're going to have

business as well. So you want your personal goals, your

physical. Yeah, I'm sorry, your personal your family and your

business. Now for personal and family. I really love to break

it down into physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So

physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And you can have that

I want to give you some examples in here because I want this to

be very concrete in your head and not just a Yeah, sure that

sounds fun. So personal for me. Just to give you some examples

that I thought of physical would be I have a peloton. So getting

on my peloton every single day doing some sort of movement

every single day. I know that my mind my body, my schedule, my

attitude, everything works better if my mind if my body has

moved that day. And so for physical, doing something on the

peloton every single day, for mental, I want to keep a

schedule that isn't balanced with my values. And remember,

we're always keeping in tune with those values. If we follow

the SMART goals up there, we want it to be relevant that's

relevant to your values too. And so for me that is keeping a

balanced schedule. So I am making sure that I am being wise

I am making sure that I am being loving and really honoring the

love of others. And I am making sure I'm staying in my integrity

with my work my school, my personal life, my family life,

my serving life, all of it. Okay. And emotionally, that

looks like journaling. It looks like going on dates with my

husband. It looks like having one on one kid time every single

week. It looks like making sure we're carving out that family

time every single day. Right? These things are measurable

things that you can check the box on, and it's a yes or no

black or white. You want that to be measurable. Okay. So the

outcome of one One time with my kids is not check the box

measurable, but the action is check the box measurable. Okay?

Does that make sense? Okay, and then spiritual for me, I have

quiet time, every single morning, my morning routine is

rock solid for me, if I don't have it, then I need to, like

keep rebalancing myself every day and it gets a little hairy

sometimes. So having that morning routine in that morning,

quiet time doing some meditation. For me that looks

like getting into the Bible and doing some study, whatever that

looks like for you for your spiritual walk. But that's what

I mean by getting specific and measurable and attainable,

relevant and time bound in your goals. And then you could do the

same thing for your family. And you go through physical, mental,

emotional, spiritual, for your family. Now for your business,

if you do have a business or a side, side hustle that you're

doing, then you may or may not, it depends on what is applicable

to you, you might not have physical or spiritual in there,

but you're gonna have a mental and emotional for sure. And

because we all know, especially the journey of being an

entrepreneur is very, very emotional, right? I know you I

see and feel so many heads nodding right now. So anyway,

and breaking that down into q1, two, three and four is very

important. So that's what you want to do. And your second

thing. So remember, number one is you want to find your values.

So, so so important to ground you and guide you and what the

the, the goals will be. And then number two, you're going to

reflect on the last year, and you're going to develop a plan

the next year coming up. Okay, so reflecting on the last one,

and designing and planning the one that is coming up looking at

physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, for yourself and for

your family. And if you have a business doing that, always

keeping in mind to keep these goals smart, right? But you

definitely want it to be measurable, because what happens

if it's not measurable? What happens if your goal is

I just want to have a better relationship with my, with my

spouse, okay, well, then, you're just going to go along like and

ask yourself, well, am I having a better relationship? Am I not?

I don't know, maybe. And then it's just so ambiguous, it's

such a cloud, there's no action to be put toward it, that it

falls by the wayside, and it never gets done. And so that's

why it's so so important to actually have action steps have

it be measurable. Check the box, check the box, double, there we

go. Check the box double. So that you know if you've worked

toward your goal or not. Okay. All right. And number three, you

guys is find the help to get there. Find a coach, find a

mentor, or hopefully both. I prefer a coach mentors, and why

you're like, Okay, what's the difference there? Well, a coach

is going to be someone that teaches you the skill sets the

the mindsets, and gives you the information, right. And then a

mentor is going to take that information and help you

implement it into your unique and specific life. And so that

that's why I do both in my you know, I I actually was doing

some website work last night, and I'm like I am a my full

title is life and leadership coach and mentor. But that is

such a mouthful and so crazy. So I just do family life and

leadership coach. Because I mean, I don't think that I don't

think my desk is big enough to have that whole name. Not that I

have a title on my desk. But it's just such a mouthful. So I

say family life and leadership coach, but it really is coaching

and mentoring because I want to help you get the information.

And I also want to help you implemented into your unique

family, your unique self and so you can develop your road to

your unique destination that you want your family to go in. But,

um so we have many options coming up that I just want to go

over we have the Family Leadership Academy, which is our

deep dive programs so amazing, highly, highly, highly recommend

for every family to go through at least once in their childhood

parenthood 6570 experience and that is the next group is

starting in January. And then if you can't do like a bigger time

commitment, then there's a VIP day you guys. I'm just going to

sit down with you guys and I'm going to Say, Okay, this is what

this is what we want to go through today, we are going to

go through goal planning, we're going to go through how to get

to the goals that you're doing. We're going to talk about

communication, I'm going to give you an action plan, I'm going to

give you a implementation plan, and we're going to go from

there. So that is such a valuable, valuable day. So and

then there's the Ignite your inner leader masterclass that is

available to you through the website that is so powerful the

discipline hacker collection, the podcast that you're

obviously listening to, but make sure a great actionable item for

you personally, or your family would be to listen to this

podcast every single week in 2022, I promise I'm going to be

there. And you can be there to listen, this is a great action

step that can that's measurable and can help you develop your

family through 2022. And then the family architects club, our

online community, so amazing, we get on there. And we have

massive discussions. There's such big changes that are

happening in the world. And it's only going to change faster and

bigger. As we go along. Especially when we have a

literal universe, a new universe, the metaverse that is

coming very fast, it's already being marketed every single day.

This is supposedly something that won't be in our hands, in

the capacity that they're talking about until five to

seven years. But I literally get advertisements for it every

single day today, which means your kids are going to be seeing

those two. And so we have so much to discuss and the

community is there for you. So you guys, there it is, it's as

easy as 123. Number one, find your values number two, reflect

and design. And number three, find the coaches and mentors to

get you there. And I would love to help you out with that the

6570 team is always here and ready to help and grow you and

your family toward that self led leadership. So they are equipped

with their greatness and for their greatness before they ever

leave home. You guys 2022 is going to be a great year. How do

I know that? How do I know a bunch of catastrophes aren't

going to happen?

I don't. But I do know that my decision is that 2022 is going

to be a great year for myself and for my family. And that is

what we are going to make of it and we are going to leave some

amazing things in the space of 2022. By the time we are done

with it. Okay, you guys, whatever happens, remember, it

is up to you, you are the architect you are planning and

designing your family you are planning and designing the

beginning of your child's life. And that is their foundation

that they will launch from lean on and stand on for the rest of

their lives. Happy building. You guys enjoy your holidays. I'm

sure you have been already whatever holidays you celebrate.

And I just wish you a wonderful week and I will talk to you next

week. All right, bye, guys. Thank you so much for listening

today. And I hope you were able to take something from our

discussion that you can use to build the foundation of self led

leadership in your own family. If you are a parent with

children 17 or younger, and especially those around nine and

up, I would love to extend an invitation to you to the best

club in town. The family architects Club is a private

club where intentional parents go that want to love support,

connect or reconnect and really truly help guide their kids and

teach them how to self lead in discipline and leadership. This

is an online community and the you are welcome to it. Parenting

is a project and you are the architect of this one. You plan

you design and oversee the construction of the beginning of

someone else's life. And that's what goes into these first 6570

days. And it will be the foundation for the rest of their

lives. So come join the club. You can find your invitation on

the front page of my website Nelly hardened.com. That is N E

ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you again for being a part of this

conversation today. And if something really resonated with

you, or if you have a question, please don't hesitate to connect

with me. You can find me on Instagram at Nellie Hardin. And

lastly, if you love the information, please please leave

a five star review and a comment so more and more families can be

impacted by harnessing the strength of these ideas and

tools in their own families. So thank you so much. Happy

building you guys and I'll see you next week.