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2022 Is Coming! What’s The Plan? - Family Goal Planning Guide
Episode 2122nd December 2021 • The 6570 Family Project • Nellie Harden
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The new year is right around the corner.  It will come and it will go, what you leave in its place is 100% up to you!

In this episode I am going through the big 3 pillars of Family Goal Planning and HOW to do it! 

1.     Where to start

2.     What the goals can look like

3.     Your first action step!

You will want to take a listen so you are ready when that ball drops and be able to take advantage of as much of 2022 as possible!

About the Host: 

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor.  

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live.   

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, set their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.

 

(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior, and Psychology. )  

 

LINKS:

Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault 

Website- https://www.nellieharden.com

Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/    

 Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/

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Transcripts

Nellie Harden:

Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

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the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

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big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

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and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their

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life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570

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family project. Let's go

Nellie Harden:

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570

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family project podcast. You guys. It is deep into the

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holiday season right now for you when this is coming out. I'm a

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little further back right now. This is being recorded in

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November. But I know when we are coming out we are super deep

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into the holiday season. So I hope you've been having a good

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time. I hope you've been having safe travels. I hope all of

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those extended family get togethers have been joyous or at

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least as joyous as they can be. Next week, I'm going to come to

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you with some information on repairing some of those

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repairing yourself after those. So stay tuned for next week's

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episode. But today, you guys, I always take this time of year,

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this last couple of weeks of a year, and wrap up the year that

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I've been in and really start to put together the year that I am

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going into. I don't know if that's something you do to some

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people do it at the beginning of the next year. For me, I just

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like to take advantage of every single second of a year. And so

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I like to do it beforehand. So I'm already when the year comes

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about, but we are all different. But the the facts, you know,

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stay the same that we are transitioning from one year to

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another now, is the time actually different? No, right?

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You're still gonna wake up on January 1, as you did December

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31, and so on. But mentally, it is a shift, it's a perspective

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shift, we are going from 2021 to 2022, which is a mouthful to say

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Can I just say that for a second.

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So mentally, it is different. And we know through the work

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that we've done here, through the work of so many that have

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come before us that it really is our perspectives that tell what

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our truth is. And so if your perspective, if you're mentally

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changing and transitioning from one year to another, then that

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is a step. It's a doorway that you're going through. And that

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means that we're going to have some different perspectives,

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different goals than we are and goal. Goal making and creating

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and achieving is something that many, many, many people do at a

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year change, including myself, I also do it at my own year

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changes, right my birthday decade changes when I go from my

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30s to my 40s, my 40s to my 50s and etc, hopefully my 80s to my

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90s One day, whatever that looks like. But I have different goals

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when these transitions happen. And I want to walk you through

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some really good practices for doing goals. So it's not just

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haphazard and then they fall apart on January 10. Right? I

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want to help you make some really concrete goals not only

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for yourself, but also what it looks like to walk forward with

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some family goals. And if you listened to the podcast with

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Elaine Mason, I believe it was episode 11. We walked through a

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little bit of that in what she does with her family to it was

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really powerful. So I encourage encourage you to go back and

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listen to that. But let's talk a little bit about this new year

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goal making and the 6570. Right that's how many days are in 18

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years. This is our runway, that our training zone for us parents

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to teach our kids it's their runway to adulthood. And we are

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the architects of that time. So if we are going to build smart,

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right we're going to build smart we're going to plan smart we're

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going to design smart in order to give them all of these

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experience and help them develop these self led discipline and

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leadership skills before they leave home. So they're not

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leaving home still in the parent lead discipline realm. Right,

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then there's some things we could do here. Now we've heard

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about smart goals before. Let me just remind you real quick, so

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they are specific. They're measurable. That's always a

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sticking point for many goals. They're attainable, though. But

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also, not just attainable, like, Yep, I could do that. It's like

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looking at a pool and saying, Okay, I'm going to give myself a

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goal of swimming one lap right. Now. For some that is the be hag

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the big, hairy, audacious goal. But for many people swimming one

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lap, it's like, oh, I can for sure do that. That's an easy box

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to check. So we want it to be attainable, but not an easy box

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to check, right? We need to stretch ourselves outside of the

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comfort zone a little bit, because that's where growth

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happens. So attainable is a relevant, right? Is it actually

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moving you toward your goals? Is it moving in synchronous in

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synchronicity with your values, we'll talk about that in a

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second. And time bound, of course, it's going to be time

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bound, we're talking about a year here, so but you might be

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breaking it down even further. I personally love to I look at the

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year, but then I break it into quarters. Because if I say I'm

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going to give myself a whole year to do you know, whatever an

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activity, whatever this activity is, I am going to wait until

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September, October and be like, Oh, my goodness, yeah, I need to

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do that. Or most likely forget about it by September or

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October, and then it never gets done. So I were I look at the

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whole year, break it down into quarters, and then I only have

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three goals per quarter. And then I break those down into the

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months that I'm doing and always make sure I'm focused toward

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that those three goals in whatever I'm doing every day,

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right, that's relevant. It's time bound. It's attainable, but

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it stretches me. It's measurable. They're very

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specific. Okay, so I love the idea of really looking at this

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space. So if you look back on all the years that you've been

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alive, I was born in 1978, which seems forever ago and yesterday

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at the same time. And so when I look back at 1987, right, I'm

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like, What did I leave in? 1987? What did I do with 1987? Right?

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I was in? I guess I was in elementary at that time.

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Going into adulthood, I think about the year I don't know,

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2002? What did I do in 2002? What did I leave there, right?

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And so when you're thinking about this year coming up, what

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do you want to leave in the space of 2022, it will come and

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it will go. And you get to choose what to put in its place

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in your life and your family's life. So that when you're

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looking back, you could say this is what was in the place of

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2022. Right? It's not just this ambiguous time that's rolling by

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there's purpose and intention, especially when we're in our

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6570 that we get to put there and and intentionally build

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toward that year, what are we going to leave in the space of

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2022? Okay, so there's really three things I want to go over

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here. And it's, we want to start with the values. Okay, I told

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you, I'd talk about values a little bit. So you're going to

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have personal values and family values. And the family values

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are really something that you want to talk about with your

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family, your personal values you could talk about with yourself,

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and you can have some, you know, good journal talks with yourself

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in there or what have you. But there is beautiful, you know,

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values out there, there's concrete values, there's, you

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know, harsh values, there's very, very truthful values,

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there's all these values out there. And you can literally

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just, you know, Google a values list. And really look through

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those. I know Brene Brown has a great one,

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just off the top of my head, but you can look through those and

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say which ones really define me and just circle all the ones

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that do and then take that list. I don't know, maybe you have

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eight to 10 of them, let's say and you want to say okay, out of

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these eight to 10 which are the most important to me, right? And

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which one of these kind of fit into another one for me? So I'll

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give you an example. My personal values my personal life values

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are wisdom, love and integrity. Okay, so family, for example,

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family is a value and it's very, very, very important to me, but

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Val family for me, fits underneath wisdom, love and

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integrity, okay, I need to have integrity with my family, I need

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to be able to love and share love with my family. And I need

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to have wisdom to lead my family. So that's what I mean

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about, you know, find out what they are and what kind of fits

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into one another. Because I really want you to focus in on

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two, maximum three values that you know, and you can just

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rattle off like that, right? These are my life values for

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your family, they might be things like, you know, for ours,

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our connection, courage and self led leadership. So connection,

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courage and self led leadership is our family values, and

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everything else falls under that or isn't as important as those

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things. But those things are our ultimate most important. And you

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would say, well, where's love in there? Well, love for us is

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under courage, right? Having the courage to love somebody that

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takes vulnerability that takes being able to use your patience,

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right? Connection is certainly, or love is certainly a part of

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connection, and then that leadership, right leading with

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love. So that's where that comes in. So just to give you some

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examples there, but my point is, your goals have to start with a

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foundation of where your values are coming from. Okay? Now, the

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second thing that you're going to do after you figured out your

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personal and your family values, the second thing you're going to

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do is write out your goals, right, have a great family

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planning session. I know some families that go away for the,

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you know, for a weekend and have this and, you know, figure this

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out sitting mountainside and some beautiful villa or what

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have you, or you could do in your living room, whatever. But

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talk about the year that has gone by, right. Hopefully you

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had some goals for this year. And if you didn't, you're

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starting a new tradition. And that's cool. My family does this

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every single year. And it is so fun. We've been doing this for

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years now. And I love looking back, I have the you know, we

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give little sheets of paper and things like that. And I love

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looking back on. What were my daughter's goals for the next

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year when she was six. Right? It was like, I really want to get a

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cartwheel, right. You know, things like that. It's so fun to

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look back on. But talk about the year past, you know, what did

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you love about it? What goals did you accomplish if you did

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have goals? But definitely what did you love about it? What

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didn't you like so much about it, and how you will be able to

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pivot in 2022 in order to make those things better. Okay, so

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that's what we want to start off with with this number two, and

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then really start dissecting what your goals are going to be

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for 2022. And you're going to have personal and you're going

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to have family and if it applies, you're going to have

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business as well. So you want your personal goals, your

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physical. Yeah, I'm sorry, your personal your family and your

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business. Now for personal and family. I really love to break

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it down into physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So

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physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And you can have that

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I want to give you some examples in here because I want this to

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be very concrete in your head and not just a Yeah, sure that

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sounds fun. So personal for me. Just to give you some examples

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that I thought of physical would be I have a peloton. So getting

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on my peloton every single day doing some sort of movement

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every single day. I know that my mind my body, my schedule, my

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attitude, everything works better if my mind if my body has

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moved that day. And so for physical, doing something on the

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peloton every single day, for mental, I want to keep a

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schedule that isn't balanced with my values. And remember,

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we're always keeping in tune with those values. If we follow

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the SMART goals up there, we want it to be relevant that's

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relevant to your values too. And so for me that is keeping a

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balanced schedule. So I am making sure that I am being wise

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I am making sure that I am being loving and really honoring the

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love of others. And I am making sure I'm staying in my integrity

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with my work my school, my personal life, my family life,

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my serving life, all of it. Okay. And emotionally, that

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looks like journaling. It looks like going on dates with my

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husband. It looks like having one on one kid time every single

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week. It looks like making sure we're carving out that family

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time every single day. Right? These things are measurable

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things that you can check the box on, and it's a yes or no

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black or white. You want that to be measurable. Okay. So the

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outcome of one One time with my kids is not check the box

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measurable, but the action is check the box measurable. Okay?

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Does that make sense? Okay, and then spiritual for me, I have

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quiet time, every single morning, my morning routine is

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rock solid for me, if I don't have it, then I need to, like

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keep rebalancing myself every day and it gets a little hairy

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sometimes. So having that morning routine in that morning,

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quiet time doing some meditation. For me that looks

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like getting into the Bible and doing some study, whatever that

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looks like for you for your spiritual walk. But that's what

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I mean by getting specific and measurable and attainable,

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relevant and time bound in your goals. And then you could do the

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same thing for your family. And you go through physical, mental,

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emotional, spiritual, for your family. Now for your business,

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if you do have a business or a side, side hustle that you're

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doing, then you may or may not, it depends on what is applicable

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to you, you might not have physical or spiritual in there,

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but you're gonna have a mental and emotional for sure. And

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because we all know, especially the journey of being an

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entrepreneur is very, very emotional, right? I know you I

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see and feel so many heads nodding right now. So anyway,

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and breaking that down into q1, two, three and four is very

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important. So that's what you want to do. And your second

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thing. So remember, number one is you want to find your values.

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So, so so important to ground you and guide you and what the

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the, the goals will be. And then number two, you're going to

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reflect on the last year, and you're going to develop a plan

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the next year coming up. Okay, so reflecting on the last one,

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and designing and planning the one that is coming up looking at

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physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, for yourself and for

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your family. And if you have a business doing that, always

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keeping in mind to keep these goals smart, right? But you

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definitely want it to be measurable, because what happens

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if it's not measurable? What happens if your goal is

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I just want to have a better relationship with my, with my

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spouse, okay, well, then, you're just going to go along like and

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ask yourself, well, am I having a better relationship? Am I not?

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I don't know, maybe. And then it's just so ambiguous, it's

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such a cloud, there's no action to be put toward it, that it

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falls by the wayside, and it never gets done. And so that's

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why it's so so important to actually have action steps have

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it be measurable. Check the box, check the box, double, there we

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go. Check the box double. So that you know if you've worked

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toward your goal or not. Okay. All right. And number three, you

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guys is find the help to get there. Find a coach, find a

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mentor, or hopefully both. I prefer a coach mentors, and why

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you're like, Okay, what's the difference there? Well, a coach

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is going to be someone that teaches you the skill sets the

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the mindsets, and gives you the information, right. And then a

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mentor is going to take that information and help you

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implement it into your unique and specific life. And so that

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that's why I do both in my you know, I I actually was doing

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some website work last night, and I'm like I am a my full

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title is life and leadership coach and mentor. But that is

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such a mouthful and so crazy. So I just do family life and

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leadership coach. Because I mean, I don't think that I don't

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think my desk is big enough to have that whole name. Not that I

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have a title on my desk. But it's just such a mouthful. So I

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say family life and leadership coach, but it really is coaching

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and mentoring because I want to help you get the information.

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And I also want to help you implemented into your unique

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family, your unique self and so you can develop your road to

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your unique destination that you want your family to go in. But,

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um so we have many options coming up that I just want to go

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over we have the Family Leadership Academy, which is our

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deep dive programs so amazing, highly, highly, highly recommend

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for every family to go through at least once in their childhood

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parenthood 6570 experience and that is the next group is

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starting in January. And then if you can't do like a bigger time

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commitment, then there's a VIP day you guys. I'm just going to

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sit down with you guys and I'm going to Say, Okay, this is what

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this is what we want to go through today, we are going to

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go through goal planning, we're going to go through how to get

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to the goals that you're doing. We're going to talk about

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communication, I'm going to give you an action plan, I'm going to

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give you a implementation plan, and we're going to go from

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there. So that is such a valuable, valuable day. So and

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then there's the Ignite your inner leader masterclass that is

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available to you through the website that is so powerful the

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discipline hacker collection, the podcast that you're

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obviously listening to, but make sure a great actionable item for

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you personally, or your family would be to listen to this

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podcast every single week in 2022, I promise I'm going to be

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there. And you can be there to listen, this is a great action

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step that can that's measurable and can help you develop your

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family through 2022. And then the family architects club, our

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online community, so amazing, we get on there. And we have

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massive discussions. There's such big changes that are

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happening in the world. And it's only going to change faster and

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bigger. As we go along. Especially when we have a

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literal universe, a new universe, the metaverse that is

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coming very fast, it's already being marketed every single day.

Nellie Harden:

This is supposedly something that won't be in our hands, in

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the capacity that they're talking about until five to

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seven years. But I literally get advertisements for it every

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single day today, which means your kids are going to be seeing

Nellie Harden:

those two. And so we have so much to discuss and the

Nellie Harden:

community is there for you. So you guys, there it is, it's as

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easy as 123. Number one, find your values number two, reflect

Nellie Harden:

and design. And number three, find the coaches and mentors to

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get you there. And I would love to help you out with that the

Nellie Harden:

6570 team is always here and ready to help and grow you and

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your family toward that self led leadership. So they are equipped

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with their greatness and for their greatness before they ever

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leave home. You guys 2022 is going to be a great year. How do

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I know that? How do I know a bunch of catastrophes aren't

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going to happen?

Nellie Harden:

I don't. But I do know that my decision is that 2022 is going

Nellie Harden:

to be a great year for myself and for my family. And that is

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what we are going to make of it and we are going to leave some

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amazing things in the space of 2022. By the time we are done

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with it. Okay, you guys, whatever happens, remember, it

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is up to you, you are the architect you are planning and

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designing your family you are planning and designing the

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beginning of your child's life. And that is their foundation

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that they will launch from lean on and stand on for the rest of

Nellie Harden:

their lives. Happy building. You guys enjoy your holidays. I'm

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sure you have been already whatever holidays you celebrate.

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And I just wish you a wonderful week and I will talk to you next

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week. All right, bye, guys. Thank you so much for listening

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today. And I hope you were able to take something from our

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discussion that you can use to build the foundation of self led

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leadership in your own family. If you are a parent with

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children 17 or younger, and especially those around nine and

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up, I would love to extend an invitation to you to the best

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club in town. The family architects Club is a private

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club where intentional parents go that want to love support,

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connect or reconnect and really truly help guide their kids and

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teach them how to self lead in discipline and leadership. This

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is an online community and the you are welcome to it. Parenting

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is a project and you are the architect of this one. You plan

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you design and oversee the construction of the beginning of

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someone else's life. And that's what goes into these first 6570

Nellie Harden:

days. And it will be the foundation for the rest of their

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lives. So come join the club. You can find your invitation on

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the front page of my website Nelly hardened.com. That is N E

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ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you again for being a part of this

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conversation today. And if something really resonated with

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you, or if you have a question, please don't hesitate to connect

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with me. You can find me on Instagram at Nellie Hardin. And

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lastly, if you love the information, please please leave

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a five star review and a comment so more and more families can be

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impacted by harnessing the strength of these ideas and

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tools in their own families. So thank you so much. Happy

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building you guys and I'll see you next week.

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