Shownotes
Join Tog Chesterfield and Parker Spoon in their very first episode of Grack Public Access, recorded at Doreen's Olive Hollow. Hear the latest headlines from the Grack Gazette and what Parker and Tog had to eat this week.
This is Grackleton's public access community radio show, where you'll meet the people of the town on location.
Credits, contact, and more info
This comedy audio drama / audio fiction series was created, edited, directed, and produced by Jen deHaan. Some elements of this show are scripted, but most of it is improvised by the cast.
You can also find the character Tog Chesterfield in the completed audio drama Unf*ck Your Life: An Audio Drama wherever you find podcasts.
Cast:
- Jen deHaan as Tog Chesterfield, Melinda Spoon, additional voices
- Adam as Parker Spoon
Any guests noted in show notes above.
Production and Links
Artwork, logo, and graphics: Jen deHaan.
Transcript: For each episode on their page on this show's page at StereoForest here.
More show info/contact: stereoforest.com/grack
Support the show (one time tip): stereoforest.com/tip
Review this show: On Podchaser here podchaser.com/grackpublicaccess
Chat in Discord about this show: discord.gg/qBQCJP8Swf
Comedy and audio fiction newsletter: StereoForest.com/subscribe
Follow on social media: YouTube, Bluesky, TikTok
This podcast is a StereoForest production. Made and produced in British Columbia, Canada.
Mentioned in this episode:
Midroll ad: Unf*ck Your Life: An Audio Drama
Unf*ck Your Life: An Audio Drama is an audio fiction series set in the fictional town of Grackleton. Tog Chesterfield shares how they got off of rock bottom through a series attempts at restarting life. You’ll hear their story, in addition to many voices from Grackleton. It is a comedy that explores themes of mental health. It has some mystery and intrigue too. Produced by StereoForest. Find the episodes on StereoForest at StereoForest.com/UYL. This audio fiction series is complete! Now follow Tog Chesterfield in their new show with Parker Spoon, Grack Public Access.
Transcripts
[MUSIC PLAYING]
::grack Public Access.
::Hello, everybody.
::You're listening to Episode 1, the very first episode
::of grack Public Access on 101.7 FM, the grack here
::in Gragelton.
::We're your hosts here for this brand new show.
::I'm Todd Chesterfield.
::And--
::Hey, what you doing over there?
::There's people behind the store looking at me right now.
::Oh, it's OK.
::Oh, OK.
::I look friendly.
::Should I say who I am?
::Yeah, you should say who you are.
::Hi, I'm Parker Spoon.
::Coming at you today on the grack.
::The grack?
::Yeah.
::101.7 FM, the grack.
::So everybody listening out there,
::welcome to our very first show of our new show,
::grack Public Access.
::Oh, I already said that.
::That's OK.
::You're doing good.
::Today--
::Thank you.
::Thank you, Parker.
::See, I'm nervous, too, because I guess I should tell everybody
::where we are.
::We're at Doreen's Olive Hollow here today in Gragelton,
::where we're recording from.
::It's amazing.
::I've been so far so many olives today.
::Too many too.
::They're still looking at me from behind the store.
::Yeah, well, it's because we're recording.
::Oh, OK.
::Oh, the store.
::Hi.
::Hi, everybody.
::Yeah, they're probably not expecting this.
::I hope-- sorry about that.
::Can I be on the radio?
::Yeah.
::So Doreen's Olive Hollow-- well, we're
::sponsored by the Gragelton Community Center,
::but we're recording at Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::And Doreen wanted us to remind everybody
::that they are very much against Pimentos or the Pimento,
::however you pronounce it.
::You can pronounce it both ways.
::Parker, how do you pronounce it?
::I've always said Pimento.
::But Pimento, yeah.
::That's something that my mom felt very strongly on.
::And, you know, OK.
::So she actually got the show notes,
::and I went over them with her today.
::That's OK.
::OK.
::Oh, that's perfectly fine.
::And I don't know if you can see what she wrote.
::She took out her red magic marker,
::and she corrected your spelling.
::And it says Pimento.
::So if mom's listening, it has to be Pimento.
::I'm the I--
::Pimento.
::You can say--
::Well, we'll do Pimento.
::No, you can say--
::this is what I was-- I told her.
::I said, I'm not going to be mean.
::You were nice enough to put me on this,
::so you can say Pimento all you want.
::You know, I have to say I'm very surprised at the just--
::I guess the controversy, not just around the spelling,
::but around actually having them inside, stuffed inside,
::an olive.
::It's amazing.
::I brought it up to Doreen earlier about the--
::I said, hey, do you have anything with Pimentos in it?
::Yeah.
::And she looked at me, and I don't know if--
::are they sponsoring our show, or are we just here?
::So can we say bad stuff?
::We're just here.
::We're just here.
::The community sent her sponsoring us.
::So can I say bad stuff about Doreen, or--
::but not bad, like--
::Well, I mean, Doreen, I think, is in the back right now.
::OK.
::I said the word Pimento to her, and she snapped at me
::a little bit.
::Yeah.
::Yeah, that makes sense, because I think there's actually
::a sign underneath the counter that we're not really even
::supposed to say the word in here.
::Yeah.
::Yes, she--
::Yeah, so she--
::maybe we should be quiet when we actually say--
::Yeah, she took out a ruler and slapped my knuckles.
::Oh, good to know.
::Yeah, it didn't really hurt, but it
::was more shocking than anything else.
::Yeah.
::Yeah, we should try maybe doing a little bit of shocking stuff
::on the show today.
::Yeah, that like--
::Yeah.
::Just so the audience knows at home,
::and if I'm coming off as too forward, please let me know.
::But some of the stuff we can do on the show
::is going to be outrageous and wild,
::and that we are going to--
::if you're listening to this in the office environment,
::you're going to want to turn down that radio, because--
::Turn down the radio.
::You will get fired.
::They might get fired, or they might have their ears water
::a little bit with the shocking things that we're going to say
::today.
::Perhaps.
::Actually, speaking of which, we should maybe go to the news.
::The news--
::this-- oh, I got to hold for bumper.
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::The Gazette.
::All right.
::Welcome to This Week in the Gazette.
::This is headlines that are in the Gragelton Gazette,
::my newspaper, or, well, my zine.
::I like to call it a newspaper, but it's really a zine.
::So these are headlines from This Week in the Gragelton Gazette.
::So the first headline, Parker, is Man Builds Fence.
::Six inches into neighbor's yard, Feud enters the third week.
::This is still going on, because you had been telling me--
::It's still going on.
::Yeah.
::As Tog's roommate, I get some privileged information
::about these events.
::And so we knew that this was building,
::and that this was going to come to a head pretty soon.
::Yeah, I mean, I heard that part of the feud is just taking out
::fence panels at this point and moving them a few inches one
::way and then a few inches the other way.
::And I mean, when I interviewed, it was kind of dangerous,
::because I thought it was going to get hit by a fence panel.
::The other thing that I thought was interesting that you
::were telling me here was the fact that a lot of stuff
::happens under the cover of Night with This Operation
::on both sides.
::Yeah.
::So it's kind of like in World War II,
::how there used to be secret espionage that happened in the tunnels
::under Paris, France.
::And there were the bad guys and the good guys,
::but they were right next to each other.
::And they didn't even know it because it was all espionage.
::Oh, yeah.
::Actually, that kind of checks out,
::because this isn't in the article.
::So you're hearing it first here on the show.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::And then you're hearing it on the radio.
::Sound good.
::Maybe, well, we'll remember.
::We'll remember.
::I am taking my melatonin at the time.
::And I'll be honest with you.
::And this is part of the shocking part of the radio.
::So you might want to turn it down a little bit.
::Down a little.
::After I have my melatonin gummy at the end of the evening,
::anything's going to sound good to me.
::[LAUGHTER]
::Do you have like a-- can you drop a sound effect there?
::Something to punctuate that?
::Yeah.
::I'll--
::Can I say it again?
::I'll find it.
::Yeah, say it again.
::And I'll be ready.
::What did I say before?
::That was funny.
::What's the next story?
::Alastin-- oh, wait.
::People don't know about the fence.
::Oh, I forget that too.
::Oh, I remember now.
::They're recruiting people on Charles Street
::where they're having this feud.
::They're recruiting people to help with the nighttime events.
::Recruiting people from the street.
::So that's accurate.
::OK, next news headline from the GRAC Gazette
::is "Alastin Potato Shortage."
::Oh, this is sad.
::"Alastin Potato Shortage Causes Tears at Planting Event."
::Causes tears?
::Yeah.
::Yeah, people are sad because the potato shortage means
::that they don't have the seed potatoes to plant
::of the Alastin variety, which of course everybody here
::in Gragleton loves, including myself.
::It's one thing that you have said since the day I met,
::since you were interviewing me for the roommate physician,
::was you were talking about the Alastin variety.
::And I thought you were talking about a person at first.
::But then I was like, oh, because my mom used to talk about them.
::She liked them a lot.
::Yeah, they're a good potato.
::Yeah.
::I would say the Alastin is maybe just a core
::Gragleton potato variety.
::And so not having as many of them this year
::is going to be just such a shame.
::I know it's everybody's favorite pierogi potato
::to make the potato pierokis.
::So--
::Which is a stuffed food.
::It just--
::Yeah, I know.
::It's on a--
::I didn't do it.
::This is the kind of stuff that happens on live radio
::when you don't even know what you don't know what you're
::going to get.
::And I'm in front of a stuffed food just there,
::which is we're going to get to later on, though.
::We'll get to the stuffed foods, yeah.
::That's our theme of today, is stuffed foods.
::We're here at Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::Oh, we should talk about that a little bit.
::Yeah, let's talk about that.
::We've got to get more to move stories.
::I don't want to bogart the story portion.
::Yeah, OK.
::So we'll do-- we'll finish it up with our last headline
::this week in the Gazettes.
::A headline of Gragleton High's marching band
::plays the same song at every event.
::No one complains.
::No, it's-- you know what?
::It's a wondrous song.
::It's fanciful.
::Yeah.
::Do you know the title of it?
::Yeah, "Ant's Marching."
::Yeah.
::It's a Dave Matthews band song.
::Dave DMB, we love him.
::We are.
::Yeah.
::He's one of our favorites.
::You know, in the "Ant's Marching" song, how it just,
::like, it goes into that part where Dave Matthews sings
::really, really fast, and they just have that drum solo?
::I think that's maybe why no one complains,
::because, I mean, that drum solo during that part of the song
::is just amazing.
::It's magic.
::You know, it's the kind of thing that if I ever get married,
::that's the kind of thing that I would want to be in my first
::dance, that drum solo.
::You know what?
::I think I'd like to have the marching band at my wedding
::if I was to ever get married.
::Absolutely.
::I would-- it's the kind of thing I would want.
::And, you know, I'll tell you who I had wanted to cater.
::It's Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::Can I do an ad for them, even though--
::Just go for it.
::But they're not going to pay us.
::I think Doreen would love that.
::They aren't going to pay us.
::They're not small to us.
::No, we're just using their facility here.
::Yeah.
::Hey, can I just bring something up again,
::Todd?
::The two ladies from behind the building
::are still staring at me.
::Oh.
::Yeah, I know.
::I see them there.
::Hey.
::You know, wait back.
::Yeah.
::They were--
::Yeah.
::OK.
::So yeah, Doreen's--
::I'm going to try to do my radio.
::Announce your voice.
::Hold on one second.
::Oh, yeah.
::Go for it, Parker.
::Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::How did that sound?
::That sounds fantastic.
::Oh, shoot.
::They just dropped the train.
::Oh my god.
::They're going to blame us?
::They must be ready for the--
::No, they won't blame us.
::No, I don't think they will.
::No.
::Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::Come on down if you want the best variety.
::Shit.
::I cursed.
::Oh, that's OK.
::Can you bleep that out, please?
::Yeah, OK.
::Oh, I did.
::You didn't--
::I'll watch you for--
::For when it looks--
::Watch my mouth.
::I'll watch your mouth.
::And if it looks like they're about to do a curse word,
::I'll be prepared.
::And I've got my bleeper.
::I'm so sorry.
::Hold on.
::No, it's fine.
::No.
::Oh, oh no.
::It's OK.
::I know.
::It's OK.
::Let me finish the ad.
::Doreen's Olive Hollow.
::I had some of the best olives ever had.
::They had one that was stuffed with a vegan pepperoni, which
::it would maybe have because I didn't know I
::liked vegan pepperoni.
::Here's another.
::I'll be back.
::I want to go to the bathroom.
::OK.
::OK.
::Well, we're going to an advertisement anyways right now.
::So I'll go to ads, which we have a nice ad for you.
::Can I apologize?
::Brackleton.
::Yeah.
::So sorry, I curious.
::Oh, it's OK.
::It's community radio.
::I'll be back.
::I've got to go.
::We don't have anybody to answer to,
::other than our producer, that we might get one day.
::OK.
::I'm going to go to ad.
::We'll go to ad, and you can go to the restaurant.
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::Hi, I'm Jen DeHaan, speaking today
::for the Brackleton Community Center.
::Come on down to the Community Center
::and join one of our fantastic curling leagues.
::I curl, and I started learning how to curl at a beginner
::curling clinic.
::And you can join a beginner's clinic now,
::and you'll get a free enamel pin that says,
::curling, exclamation mark.
::I do it.
::Which would refer to you who's listening to this ad right now?
::You would be the I in that, because you
::would be doing the curling.
::Beginner curling, it's happening now,
::down at the Brackleton Community Center.
::A proud sponsor, or well a sponsor,
::technically of "Grak Public Access."
::And now, back to the show.
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::"Grak Public Access."
::[SIDE CONVERSATION]
::[SIDE CONVERSATION]
::Are we back?
::And, yep, we're back.
::We're back on.
::Oh, that's good.
::I went back and I apologized to Doreen
::for defiling the sanctity of her olive hollow.
::And she laughed at me and poured me a ginger ale,
::so I feel a little better now.
::Oh, that's so nice.
::That must be after-- remember when they did all those--
::the ultra greasy olive campaign?
::And they just ended up having the restaurants here
::wrecked all the time.
::And remember?
::And then so then she did the ginger ale thing.
::She probably could tell before you even came out
::that you needed the ginger ale.
::Did she have it ready on the little tray?
::It was sometimes after I get a massage,
::the masseuse is there waiting with a little glass of water
::when I, after I finished robing--
::not derobing, but putting my clothes back on.
::Of robing, huh?
::And it was kind of like that.
::She was just waiting there with a cup of ginger ale.
::It was very nice.
::Yeah, when Doreen's not slapping knuckles,
::Doreen can be very nice and kind.
::So the snarewear, if you're just joining us here on the show
::today, we're at Doreen's Olive Hollow
::right in the middle of the shop.
::And our theme of today is because we're at an olive place,
::is stuffed foods, because olives are stuffed with foods.
::A whole bunch of foods here, but never--
::what do they never stuff olives with here, Parker?
::Pim, pim, mantos.
::Pim, mantos.
::Yeah, we can't say it loud because we're apparently
::not supposed to say it at all when we're here in the shop.
::And if you do come into the shop,
::you'll see a bunch of signage about you can't get the--
::what is it again?
::You can't get-- what here?
::What can't you get here?
::Pim, mantos.
::Parker?
::That's right.
::Can't get them here.
::You'd have to go to Shane's Olive Shack.
::And yeah, there's--
::I don't know.
::I don't want to talk about if there's a rift or anything.
::That's not our business, though, for real.
::It's not our business, no.
::But they have made it relatively public in nature.
::Yeah.
::It's been--
::you know, I guess we're public access,
::so we have to kind of bring this stuff.
::We have a responsibility to our listeners.
::We do.
::Yeah, they've--
::it's gotten downright nasty from what I've heard, some of it.
::I guess we could talk about the--
::we have to say allegedly to a lot of the stuff.
::Allegedly.
::But allegedly Shane had put up packets of Kool-Aid
::into several of the olive containers here.
::Allegedly.
::This is purely an allegation.
::And making durians, olives, grape flavored
::and berry blast flavored.
::And the fun one was it was called a mojito flavored.
::I didn't even know Kool-Aid had that.
::No.
::You know, it wasn't--
::it's not alcoholic or anything.
::No, of course it wouldn't be.
::And we love Kool-Aid, by the way.
::Oh, I absolutely love Kool-Aid.
::It's my favorite.
::Yeah, well, actually, that brings us into our next segment,
::which is the taste of Grappleton.
::Taste of Grappleton.
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::Oh, yum.
::So here on the show, Parker and I, we absolutely love food.
::We love it.
::We love it.
::The olive hollow and everything.
::And the taste of Grappleton segment
::is when we will discuss some food
::that we have experienced this week.
::So Parker, would you like to start us off with something
::that you've eaten this week or something
::that you've enjoyed or made or if you went to a restaurant
::or something?
::I absolutely did.
::Thank you very much.
::I went to a local Asian fusion restaurant,
::which I don't know if we're allowed to say the name or not.
::Oh, you can say the name.
::It's called The Taste of Magic.
::Yeah, and--
::Oh, I love that.
::Oh, it was amazing.
::But they had an interesting take on the egg roll,
::which is one of my favorite--
::I guess it's a Westernized Chinese food.
::Yeah.
::I don't know.
::But either way, they actually hollowed out an egg
::and put the filling.
::So it was kind of like a deviled egg slash egg roll
::that they did.
::That is very different from the egg rolls that I've had.
::I haven't had that on their menu before.
::Is it a new-- is it a new--
::It was only on there for an hour.
::Because, yeah, there was--
::I ate it.
::And the rest of the restaurant started--
::it was-- I don't-- again, I don't want to speak scandal here.
::I try not to.
::But the rest of the restaurant-- it was an uproar.
::Yeah, people did not appreciate this dish.
::They were making makeshift signs and chanting.
::And it was really a rough time for everybody involved,
::myself included.
::It ruined my dinner.
::It did.
::Yeah, I could imagine that would.
::Yeah.
::I mean, it's usually dinner is a peaceful event to enjoy.
::So at least you can digest.
::I imagine that you did not digest appropriately.
::No, I was sitting there.
::I was by myself reading my Dean Koontz book, as I often do.
::Oh, yeah, he's amazing.
::Oh, he's amazing.
::He has a great meal time.
::Just fantastic.
::And I was enjoying the egg roll, whatever they did with it.
::And the other tables were--
::again, this is the shock chock portion.
::The other tables that day were like,
::they had too much caffeine in their system,
::because they were going all crazy.
::No, I can't believe that happened.
::That must have been shocking, shocking, shocking.
::It was almost like they were gone crazy.
::Oh, no.
::I hope-- I listeners, I hope you turn down your volume
::for that bit.
::Yeah, if I clipped it all there, I'm sorry.
::I was trying to be--
::Oh, let me--
::I wasn't even-- see, I wasn't even watching our levels.
::I wasn't watching our--
::They're still looking at us.
::I got so into the shock.
::Yeah, they're looking at us back there.
::They weren't laughing when we were laughing there.
::It wasn't shocking.
::It's got a little bit--
::well, should I get to--
::I guess my food--
::I also have a stuffed food.
::I noticed your food was stuffed with our theme of stuffed foods.
::So is mine.
::This week, mine is something that I made at our place, really.
::So you might remember this, Parker.
::It was my stuffed zucchini that I made.
::The whole place filled with the aromas.
::It was like we were at a beautiful French restaurant.
::Yeah, yeah, it was--
::that's what I was going for, because I was making a zucchini
::boat, which, listener, I--
::I carved out the center of a zucchini,
::and then I stuff it with a stuffing,
::just a typical, like you'd get at maybe a Thanksgiving dinner.
::And then I topped it with crumbled Hawkins cheeses, which
::is something that I love for--
::wait, wait, cheeses are a snack.
::Listen, I kind of messed up.
::This isn't taste of Gragleton anymore.
::This is the snack review hour, say.
::It's OK.
::I mean, I think we can--
::I should hold for a bumper so I can take us
::into the snack review hour.
::I'm sitting here.
::That's good.
::OK.
::That's good.
::Listen, this is our first show, so we're just
::getting used to our segment.
::So let's-- OK, hold for a bumper.
::[MUSIC PLAYING]
::All right.
::Welcome, everybody, to the snack review hour,
::where we're talking about Hawkins cheeses.
::Hawkins cheeses.
::OK.
::I love them.
::If that's any kind of positive thing to say, they're delicious.
::Yeah, they're absolutely delicious cheeses, very hard cheeses.
::Were they your favorite snack, really, not Hawkins cheeses?
::Yeah, I mean, it was amongst them.
::I was a snack--
::here comes the shocking part.
::I was a snack of a hollock gangster when I was--
::I was like the Al Capone of snacks when I was growing up.
::Turned the radio's back up now.
::I'm not going to be--
::I'm not going to be nasty anymore.
::We're not shocking anymore, Gragelton.
::But yeah, they were amazing growing up.
::Yeah, I really like those.
::I really like bugles growing up, where I would put--
::there are little wizard hats that I would put on my fingers.
::And I had--
::I called them fingies.
::I put the bugles on my fingies.
::But it was really a tough decision to choose between bugles
::or Hawkins cheeses for me.
::Having-- and I guess we can open the curtains a little bit
::and have the audience know.
::But I got to try one of the stuff zucchinis.
::And it was-- you made the right decision.
::It was like a patriotic parade in my mouth.
::Because that was actually what I was going for,
::because that's why I put a little Gragelton flag on the--
::Oh, of each boat. Yeah.
::It's kind of like a sail in the middle of the zucchini boat.
::Well, we went back to taste the Graglaton.
::So, so yeah, I think I think OK, so end snap
::review hour and then end taste the Graglaton segment.
::I was like, this is like you have to close them both out.
::There's like, yeah, we have to close them down.
::I think. OK. OK.
::OK. We'll get used to this.
::Fine, man. This is good.
::Segments. This is fine. This is fine.
::So oh, so now now we have to go.
::We have to go to advertisement again, Parker.
::OK, how should I leave?
::No, no, you don't have to go to the bathroom during each hour.
::I didn't know what was the decor.
::Yeah, that's OK.
::All right. So listener, you're listening to Grag Public Access.
::Oh, I said that.
::Listener, coming at you with with Grag Public Access will be back soon.
::You're on one one point seven FM the.
::Oh, did you like that?
::I like that. That was good.
::We're back on one one point seven FM the Grag.
::This is Grag Public Access and we're at Doreen's Olive Hollow today.
::And earlier during the break
::after I went to the bathroom, I ended up going to the bathroom again.
::But Doreen, after she gave me the idea,
::we are you still here?
::You guys are even now look, we're already we're on a good side.
::Hi, she's waving.
::Get out of here. It's time to go.
::Yeah, she. Oh, she's oh, she's putting.
::Oh, she's putting she's putting another tray of of olives
::in the in the all display there.
::But yeah, she gave me a one of her olives that was stuffed with a non vegan salami.
::She called it a salumi, which I don't know if salumi.
::We have to we'll have to book that up in the Internet later on.
::We'll have to look at that.
::And I Doreen Salumi.
::You stay here.
::She can't.
::You need to pack it up.
::Yes, you can't.
::You're out of here now.
::I got olives to sell.
::I didn't I did.
::I actually this one I didn't eat because it didn't look right to me.
::So I haven't put them.
::I pretended to eat it.
::She this is not being recorded, right?
::So she won't know this.
::No, we're back already.
::OK. Oh, I don't know if Doreen will listen to the show.
::So OK, I guess we'll we'll find out.
::Great. No, it was one that was so good.
::It was so good. Everything's good.
::Yeah, everything's good.
::Everything's great.
::I mean, I mean, they're not sponsoring the show.
::We are we are sponsored this week by the Gragleton Community Center,
::which has a lot of stuff going on in it.
::I I don't know what's going on at it
::because their website's been down for a while.
::But they they I've been at the community center a lot of times.
::And it's a nice place to go if you're in Gragleton.
::Yeah, there's some of the kindest people you'd want to meet.
::And they've never said anything overly.
::They're free, even kill people there.
::Yeah, you're not going to go there and expect like a punk rock concert or anything like that.
::Oh, not.
::Not not the Gragleton Community Center, but you can rent rooms there.
::I've rented rooms that the and it's very easy to rent a room.
::You just call them up and you say, I need a room to rent.
::And then you have to walk down and bring cash because
::they don't like using their credit card machine.
::But it's easy to do as long as you can walk down there with some cash.
::One time I rented a room because as some people may or may not know,
::I enjoy the band Holland notes.
::And they don't know that the wonderful band.
::And so I brought down my boom box and I needed a place to practice
::some dance moves and let off a little bit of here comes the here comes the shock.
::I let off some.
::Oh, listen, if you could see Parker's face right now, you would be shaking in your boots.
::I was so angry and then I let off some steam with my dance moves.
::Parker did another face.
::It's really good that this is ready.
::Because they can't see their faces.
::The faces.
::Yeah, they be afraid.
::Did you think I was turning into a werewolf?
::I did think actually that you might be turning into some other creature.
::It's a werewolf werewolf.
::I don't.
::Is a werewolf werewolf is a werewolf or werewolf?
::I thought it was werewolf.
::I always thought it was werewolf, but then I heard somebody else kind of like
::the sound that a dog would be a dog makes the sound.
::Well,
::anyway, I thought that maybe our listener would think I was turning into a werewolf.
::And if they saw my face because my face was it was contorted in ways that
::La Changi of yesteryear, the silent film star would have.
::Yeah.
::Yeah.
::Oh, you know what I heard is that our our local movie theater is doing this.
::Wait, that's another one of our segments.
::What I heard.
::So actually, we need to hold for bumper again.
::Hold for bumper.
::I'll run the bumper.
::I'm going to run the bathroom.
::Oh, no, this isn't an ad.
::This is just the bumper sound.
::Okay.
::So hold for bumper.
::If you hear that.
::All right, listener, welcome to what we heard.
::That's another segment about things that we heard in Gragelton.
::And what I heard this week is that the Gragelton movie theater is running a
::series of silent movies.
::Silent movies.
::So that's what I heard.
::Parker, did you did you did you hear this as well that they're running silent
::movies?
::I heard it, but in fairness, and I don't know if we have to disclose these things.
::I heard it from you.
::Oh, that's right.
::I was talking about it over dinner.
::But I was okay.
::Well, that's a fair disclosure.
::I think that might have to also just continue to disclose yours when I heard it
::from I was thinking of what I said La Changi earlier.
::I was thinking about this.
::Yeah.
::You're thinking about this.
::Well, yeah, because we were just talking about that.
::I just want to be transparent.
::Yeah.
::Listeners that I wasn't trying to be.
::That's totally I don't want to be like, yeah, they they're expecting a level
::of honesty from us.
::Oh, that's that's absolutely.
::Yes.
::And it's very good.
::I don't like the cut of your.
::Maybe they'll get used to it of us going around.
::The one the one person does not look happy with us.
::I don't like the cut of your.
::No.
::She she she looks she looks down right now.
::I would say upset with us.
::Yeah, she does.
::Oh boy.
::All right.
::Okay.
::Well, so what I what I heard is that they're having the silent movies.
::And you know what I heard Parker?
::I heard that they're not going to allow anybody to talk as soon as they give
::their ticket to the ticket person at the door that as soon as you walk into
::the theater, you have to be absolutely silent.
::Yeah.
::For how long forever?
::Like for the whole entire time.
::That's what I heard is that you as soon as you enter the theater to go with
::the silent movie theme, you cannot speak to anybody else that you're with.
::You can't even speak to order the food after food counter.
::I don't mean to laugh to be mean.
::I'm laughing because it's amazing to me, you know.
::Yeah.
::Oh, really?
::That's amazing.
::I would like to try that.
::I think.
::Oh, well, you'll have your opportunity when they run the silent silent movie
::festival because it's going to be every single silent film that they show.
::They're going to have this policy the entire time.
::And if anyone breaks this policy, I guess like, you know, probably nothing
::will happen, but it would be they shouldn't break the pile.
::Like we got to go on record.
::Well, no, what you know what I heard?
::I heard that they're actually going to kick you out and they're going to put
::you on a list of the door that you can't come to another one of the movies.
::Are you serious?
::Yeah.
::You knew what else I heard?
::What?
::I heard that they're going to give you earplugs.
::At the door so you can't hear anything.
::That's going to like help people not speak.
::It's a silent movie.
::You don't need to hear it.
::So complex for me.
::I don't think I'm going to go.
::Yeah.
::I mean, it's I I'm going to, you know, I'd much rather night.
::You know, as my mom says, the Dean Coons books aren't going to finish themselves.
::So I'm going to be pretty.
::The second, the second, uh, the second best horror writer in the world.
::But I support it.
::Yeah.
::You know,
::I'm glad that you do Parker anyways.
::So, uh, oh, we have the weather.
::Yeah, great.
::We have to do the weather for one oh one point seven FM the grack.
::So here's the weather.
::Today's weather on one oh one point seven FM the grack is brought to you by the
::Gracclathan Community Center.
::We have a lot of stuff going on at the community center.
::You should check out how much stuff we have going on.
::It's varied.
::Okay.
::Tonight, the weather in Gracclathan will have brief spurts of rain.
::That's the weather for one oh one point seven FM the grack.
::It's brought to you by the Gracclathan Community Center.
::Even though our website hasn't been updated for the past three seasons,
::we actually do have a lot of stuff like classes and meetups going on at the
::community center.
::Trust us.
::By the way, our fax machine is working again.
::All right.
::And back to the show.
::All right, we're back.
::We're back here.
::That was exciting.
::That was exciting.
::The weather always makes me excited.
::Now, Doreen is sweeping the floor at this point.
::We'll give some play by play to anyone at home.
::Some color commentary.
::Actually, I think Doreen's ready for us to go soon.
::Yeah, she's scouting out.
::She's giving us a little bit of the sign.
::Are you kids going to leave yet?
::Come on.
::Get out of here.
::Hi, Doreen.
::I don't know that.
::Did we just add a curiosity?
::You got her permission?
::We're allowed to be here.
::Well, I think it was applied.
::Okay, that's I think I think it was applied, but now I'm wondering if maybe
::maybe we should be more explicit.
::I should maybe be a little bit more explicit.
::Yeah.
::It's okay.
::Public rating.
::I think so.
::It supports for applicants.
::Why we're here?
::We're here for the community.
::We are always.
::And speaking of the community.
::So our last segment of the day is the community corner and Miss Connections.
::Connect.
::I have advice.
::Happy birthday.
::Where are you?
::So this is where we invite Gracleton to send us things to announce on the show.
::So all of you can do that today.
::Parker, I have three things that have been sent to us.
::The first is a piece of advice and this piece of advice comes from Lady Gordo.
::The second recommends fertilizing rhododendron plants with a customized
::fertilizer to promote abundant flowering and says that you can find a good one
::down at the Grapple Grove and garden.
::Oh, thank you, Lady Gordo.
::The second was wonderful.
::Yeah, it was a little, you know, it was a it may have violated the ad policy.
::I think it probably did.
::But we don't want to.
::She's definitely not somebody I wanted my back.
::So we're not going to.
::We're not going to hold her Lady Gorda.
::We're not going to hold her on that.
::No, we won't.
::No, we won't Lady Gordo.
::Plus I like rhododendron.
::Oh, the rhodos are absolutely stunning and Lady.
::We call them Rhodos.
::Yeah.
::I mean, they're just a really nice, a really nice plant.
::I hope Lady Gordo is OK with Roto and not the full proper name, Roto Dendron.
::But I guess we might find out in our.
::We'll have to ask.
::Yeah, like, can you do you are you keeping the the show dire?
::Should I write her an email?
::Yes, that would be nice.
::OK, I'm going to put that on my to do.
::Yeah, to write.
::Well, we'll let you know.
::Yeah, we'll let you know.
::Listener.
::OK, so the next one I have is a birthday.
::Francis, the cat turns two on Sunday.
::Yeah, yeah, yeah, something.
::Oh, we love Francis.
::Francis, of course, if you don't know is the bookstore cat.
::Grappleton's first bookstore cat, they say, but I don't I don't know if that's true.
::No, I don't know what that I feel like I have such a.
::I guess everybody feels like they have a wonderful relationship
::with with with her.
::I haven't asked, actually.
::I don't think it's important.
::I'll tell you that much.
::But as soon as I walk into the bookstore, they jump up on my shoulder like
::they're a parakeet and I'm a pirate.
::I love it when Francis does that.
::I feel and then I'll tell you what, and this is something I've never even told you talk.
::The only person who knows this is my mother.
::When I'm browsing the section of the books, I let Francis pick out my next Dean
::Coons book. Oh, that is such a good idea.
::I bet Francis would have a very good suggestion.
::Yeah, they paw at it.
::All right.
::Our next item here is a missed connection.
::Missed connection.
::Dan from bulk bins met a very nice person in aisle five wearing a gray hoodie on
::Tuesday and forgot their contact information.
::They were wondering if Dan could source a blueberry flavored balsamic reduction.
::And he just ordered it.
::Sorry.
::And he just got that ordered and would like them to know it'll be in next Monday.
::So Dan from bulk bins is sending the message next Monday that blueberry flavored
::balsamic reduction will be in.
::So if you're in aisle five wearing a gray hoodie, that's that's for you.
::Listener.
::Yeah.
::And if they were, they might not be there now.
::I don't.
::Yeah, probably not.
::Cause yeah, just to be, we want to be factually accurate and intellectually
::honest, those were the things that you, we, we, those are our tenants that we
::that is kind of set.
::However, that person might have gone back to bulk bins, perhaps maybe even to ask
::again, maybe they're in aisle five again right now when they're listening right now.
::Oh my God.
::That could happen as well.
::We should be transparent about that.
::Yeah.
::That's what I hear.
::The one of the things we're here to do is to kind of make you think like that.
::We're going to blow your mind.
::Oh, that's a very shock shock shock.
::Wow.
::I'm sorry.
::I hope they turn down the volume for that bit.
::Yeah, that one.
::All right.
::Well, that's, that's all we have for our show today.
::Listener for our very first episode at dreams.
::Don't get out of here.
::I'm going to let you know.
::Yeah.
::I got that.
::I'm not very good at social cues, but I'm getting that one quite clearly from Doreen.
::Oh, throwing the tray right down on the ground.
::That's a sign that we should, we should wrap things up.
::Parker, do you have anything that you'd like to plug or mention before we go?
::I'm leaving.
::I'm leaving.
::I don't want to be here.
::Yeah.
::I'm going to leave.
::Okay.
::I'll get it.
::Yeah.
::Okay.
::Parker's gone.
::So thank you.
::Thank you everybody for listening to episode one of "Grak Public Access."
::I'm Tog Chesterfield and that was Parker Spoon and we will be back in a couple weeks with our next show.
::So I hope you'll join us.
::If you want to send us anything to the show, you can always go to StereoForrest.com/Grak to send us a message to the show.
::Thanks for listening.
::You have been listening to "Grak Public Access," a StereoForrest production.
::This episode was created, directed, edited, produced, and Tog Chesterfield was improvised by Jen DeHaan.
::Parker Spoon was improvised by Adam.
::Additional voices and writing by Jen DeHaan.
::You can find our shows, transcripts, and sign up for a free newsletter to get notified of everything we release at StereoForrest.com.
::[music fades out]
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