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The Findom Show Episode #002 Transcript
Mari [:The number one way to mind fuck myself is to try to figure out what you want. The number one way to take me out of my dominance, my autonomy, my power, my creativity, my flow. The number one way to do that is to get up in my head and try to figure out what you want.
Mia [:And you have to share more because there's a story behind that. I know there is.
Mari [:I don't want to tell the specific story. Yeah, that. That. That sparked this thought because I don't want to give him any energy at all.
Mia [:Yes, absolutely.
Mari [:Financial domination is a wild kink. Finom is a. Is a crazy wild west fetish. There's. I. I'm taking a firm stand on the fact that there is no right way to do it. There is no wrong way to do it. Keeping in mind that this is my playground, this is my podcast.
Mari [:I'm the. I'm the dom. I'm the mistress. I'm the goddess. I'm the head. Financial domination is about one person dominating the other. And yet. And doms listening.
Mari [:Please don't you try to tell me that. That you've never fallen down the same rabbit hole of trying to figure out what the sub wants, trying to figure out how the sub wants to be drained, trying to figure out what the subs triggers are. As soon as I trip over that thought, I am well on the path to mind fucking myself, to coming out of my body, to coming out of my power. As soon as I slip out of my body and go, I wonder what he. He wants. I wonder what he needs. I wonder how to push his buttons the right way. As soon as I do that, I'm myself instead of him.
Mia [:Yes.
Mari [:And listen, I do want to know how to push his buttons. I do want to know what his triggers are. I do. But it's far more important, far more powerful to ask myself, what do I want? Period. We could end. We could end right here. Because every time. I fall for what would be the right move for him right now, I stop having fun.
Mari [:That's not entirely true. God, there's. It's Mia. It's. This is a wild dynamic because it is fun to figure out someone else's kinks. It is fun to get to know someone. It is if they're paying for it. Yep.
Mari [:Okay. Okay, okay, Okay. I just got some clarity. O. I just got some clarity. Okay, let's compare two different experiences. And. And maybe we can get a little light on the situation.
Mari [:For me. This is for me. This is all for me and you, Mia, and any other dom listening subs if you're listening, this is not for you. This is for me. Understand? This is my playground. This is my space. This is how I create abundance in my life. This is how.
Mari [:How I manifest more of what I want by understanding what I want. Okay, okay. Okay. So. So potential sub number one approaches me via platform like night flirt. Every interaction, every little sentence sent back and forth by text or on the phone is paid for it. Every. Every ounce of energy is paid for.
Mari [:In that situation, when someone comes to me and they're chatting, they're paying for the chat, or they're paying for the call, or they're paying for the cam session, we're interacting. All of that time, energy and exploration is paid for. That's fun. Hell yeah. And my energy is being respected.
Mia [:And.
Mari [:And if you're being a little flirty and bratty about what your triggers are, that's cute. That's fun. We can do this all night long because you're paying to have this exploration with me. It's not exactly financial domination yet. It's just an exchange of energy. You know, my energy is flowing to your. To you. Your money is flowing to me.
Mari [:That's. That's a good thing. I'm not going to resent it later. I'm not going to be annoyed by it later. I feel respected. It's. It's fun. I enjoy asking you questions, thinking about your answers, taking notes, playing around, experimenting.
Mari [:Ooh, did I just push a button that makes him tribute me more money?
Mia [:Yeah.
Mari [:That was awesome. That's fun. That flow of energy back and forth is not financial domination, but the moments when I start to receive from you above and beyond that. Now we're talking. Now the drain. You're starting to be drained a little or a lot. I've had these experiences that have been like, little itty bitty drains. 5, 10, 15, 20.
Mari [:And I've had these drains go ballistic. Five hundred. A thousand. Fifteen hundred.
Mia [:Damn.
Mari [:Financial domination is. Is not more exciting because the dollar got bigger, but it is more abundant.
Mia [:Yes.
Mari [:Okay. So that's the platform where every minute, every exchange is paid. That leads to a greater understanding of your triggers that. That help me understand you dominate you.
Mia [:Yeah.
Mari [:Now let's take something similar off of the platform. And let's say. Let's say you message me on Reddit like some dude did last night. Some dude messaged me on Reddit and was like, favorite vacation spot. And I was like, I'll bite. I'm like, I love the panhandle of Florida, the sugary beaches, oh yeah, that's hot.
Mia [:Like,
Mari [:Where did this come from? And why did you ask me were, were you planning to pay for my next vacation? And he was like, like all giggly and then he went silent and he went away. Like, of course he got a little snippet. He was flirting with me, but he didn't pay for it. I can I listen. When we're on social media, when we're on Reddit, people send messages that you're not paid for. But if the same dynamic that happens on the platform starts to develop in exchanges via text or messages on a, on Reddit or Twitter or Instagram or wherever, if this, if you want to have that sensation of me getting to know you, Being flirty about it, being a little bratty about it, resisting the first send. No, no to that. I'm an official no to that.
Mari [:I know. There are so many fin subs out there that are offended by an initial tribute. They're offended by the idea that they, they should pay to get to know a dom. Oh, they whine, they whine, they bother. Like, oh, like I should be able to just get to know you. I should be able to just get a feel for our energy. I should just, I should just be able to share about myself and not already be about the money.
Mia [:But I feel like a true fin sub would know that from the get go. It should be about that dynamic of your submitting. So yeah, I'm going to pay for your time and attention because that's what this is about.
Mari [:Yeah. Listen, I don't know if this was exactly where I was planning to go with this, but how many interactions is fair before you honor my time and energy? I am a professional phone sex goddess. I am fem dam mommy dom, sensual dom. I am a dominant woman. And if you're not a fin sub, if financial domination is not your kink and you reach out to me for sexting, phone sex, jerking off instructions, come meeting instructions, fantasy. Like whatever you get, you get to say, hi, I'm interested in spending time with you. I'll send you my rate information. You get to say yes or no to that rate information and then you get to say one or two more things to me before you pay me.
Mari [:And that might be, does tonight at 7 work or I'm really into stepmomy kinks. Like, is that okay with you? Like, yeah, you can clarify a time, you can clarify a topic and then we're done communicating until you pay me. And these good boys, these men who come to me for these needs to Be met. Understand that. And they don't complain about it. I let them know. No more discussions. Pay or go away.
Mari [:Pay or come back later when you're ready to pay. Because it's not uncommon to have somebody reach out to clarify something and then come back on Friday or whatever. Come back when you're ready to play. No more conversation. They don't push me. They don't with my boundaries. They don't whine and say, oh, I should be able to get to know you a little better before we talk about money. They're not fin subs.
Mari [:They're just good boys who know I'm gonna help them feel amazing. So when a fin sub comes at me with a Initial tributes make me feel bad. Are you serious?
Mia [:I was gonna say that. I mean, that seems like a red flag when they say that.
Mari [:It's. It's. There are different camps around this. I know we're going to talk about initial tribute a hundred more times on this podcast with. With a hundred different people. And they're going to be so many different opinions and experiences and I want to hear them all. I. If you're one of those subs who's deeply resistant to an initial tribute or resistant to paying for a session to get to know each other, I would love to talk to you about how you feel about it.
Mari [:I'd love to hear how you're mentally processing that, because I am curious. But the experience that I had recently where someone asked multiple times about being my sub expressed that they felt subby towards me. But then when I sent them my payment information, they didn't send. Felt bad, man. Yeah, felt bad. Felt with. And when I feel with, it's not his fault. Anytime I feel with, I go h, where did I go wrong here?
Mia [:Yeah.
Mari [:Because I'm the dom. I'm the power. I'm the head. I'm in charge. My life, my world, my game, my playground. If I feel with, I ignored something somewhere along the way. It's not his fault that I'm feeling with. And.
Mari [:And it all boils down to I spent. I gave him too much time and
Mia [:energy,
Mari [:asking myself, when's the right time to get the money? When's the right time to pull the trigger? And that is a betrayal of me because as we've already discussed with everybody else, it's hi, here's my prices. Here's when I'm available. Yes to that topic. Let's roll. That means like maybe five exchanges before money hits my account and that's a risk for them. But grown ass men understand that risk. Grown ass men who do not have money kinks embrace that risk. Just like you take a risk when you try a new restaurant.
Mari [:You don't get to go in, order the steak, and then say it wasn't to my taste. I don't want to pay unless it was misrepresented. You pay. Grown ass people understand that. Grown ass men understand that somehow, some kind of way, there are some financial domination subs who have some idea that they ought to be able to taste and see before they make some kind of a financial offering. And I'm a no to that. I will hopefully never again put myself in that position of wondering the what's the right thing for them? And I know how this. I know that for some you're going to listen to that and go, oh, that's not right.
Mari [:You should care about me. I do. You are. You are hearing the voice and the heart of a woman who loves other humans. I love myself so much. And I love other humans so much. And this is a dominance dynamic. So I come first.
Mari [:Either that turns you on, either that makes your balls tingle, your wallet open, or you the hell off. Is that. Is this clear enough?
Mia [:I don't think it can be any clearer.
Mari [:Am I being a. I don't think so. Mia has known me for a very long time. I. I can be a. But I can also be fiercely loving. And no one will go deeper with you, get more intimate with you, and have more compassion for you than me,
Mia [:100%.
Mari [:But if you need to play some bratty game of resistance before you come up off of ascend, no thank you. Go play with someone else whose boundaries are less understood. The. The boy. The boy not a grown ass man. The boy who I let myself feel with over is blocked in. In every way. And no amount of money will ever open that door again.
Mari [:Not because he did something wrong, but because I had created something with him that was very distasteful and I take responsibility for that. And I'm a no to that. No, thank you. Here's the thing. You. This is for the doms listening. If you're the one in charge and you create something that is unpleasant, you did that. So I did that.
Mari [:I manifested that with him. So then I go back and I untie it and go, ooh, ooh. I see where I went wrong. The second that he said, can I be financially submissive to you? I would say, I don't know. Can you? Because grown ass fin subs know how to send me money. Yeah, We ain't flirting. We're not Bratton. We're sending.
Mari [:Or this or this is over. Don't. Don't identify yourself as a finub and then not. Don't identify yourself as a finub. Ask if you can be my finub and then not send.
Mia [:Okay.
Mari [:Without the third thing. The first two things is just. Just. And if you don't agree, agree to disagree. There's another Dom out there for you. I don't even disrespect you for it. You just don't line up with me. You're not suitable for me because this is my playground, my life, my world, my rules, my game, my play, my whimsy, my abundance, my power.
Mari [:If you're subbing for me, you're sending and playing by my rules and talking about what I want to talk about. Mia, are you soaking up that vibe?
Mia [:Oh, yeah.
Mari [:Yeah. Because when we start saying, I wonder what he wants. I wonder what he thinks, we are not in our own body. We're up in our head
Mia [:trying to
Mari [:figure someone else out.
Mia [:And I know, for me personally, Mari, when that happens, I start regretting the other person. I start avoiding. And that's how I know. Okay, it's time to check in with myself because I've let boundaries get crossed or something.
Mari [:Yeah, Yeah. I. In the first episode of this podcast, I said there. I said there are no rules. I am not an expert. But then you hear me say, my house, my rules, my game, my life, my world. Keyword being my. I am not inflicting my rules on anyone else.
Mari [:Every Dom out there has her own rules, her own autonomy. So if you're Dom and you're listening to this and you're like, oh, I have a completely different approach. Would you please come talk to me about. Let's interview you.
Mia [:Get on.
Mari [:Get in here. You can have a whole episode to say, here's my world, here's my vibes, here's how I do it. I want to hear it. I. It won't be an argument. We're. I'm a queen. You're a queen.
Mari [:My kingdom. Your kingdom. Yeah. I want to hear how you play, what experiences have. Have helped you understand your vibe. How do you play with guys? What works for you? You might have a completely different abundance flow. I want to hear about it. Other Doms want to hear about it.
Mari [:If I could talk to a hundred Doms this year and hear a hundred different perspectives, I would count myself blessed, because there is no one right way to do this. There is there as many. This I'm a little dose of the divine in a flesh suit. Mia is a little dose of the divine in a flesh suit.
Mia [:I love it when you say that.
Mari [:Every dom out there, you're a little dose of the divine in a flesh suit. And you have a different flavor, a different energy, a different experience. I want to hear them and subs if you have an experience you would like to share. If you would like to be an anonymous guest on the podcast, this is a safe space. You're not going to come in here and be shamed for wanting something different than I embrace in a d sub relationship. I want you to understand that, that, that Mari the podcast hostess is different than Mari the dom in that dynamic. You're not going to come in here and get told that's the wrong way to do things that I want to hear your experiences. I want to hear you share.
Mari [:Like, here's what would make my heart go pitter pat. If I experience this, who knows, maybe some dom will listen and be like, that's me. And be like, yeah, who knows what kind of magic will grow out of this podcast. Yeah. Thanks for being here, Mia. Thanks for having me and listeners subscribe if you like, share it with somebody if you like. That would be awesome. It's a great way to, to be of support and service.
Mari [:And if there's something you'd love to hear us talk about on the podcast, reach out.