In this episode of In Light of the Cross, we continue exploring how the cross reshapes relationships by focusing on loving others through acceptance, with forgiveness to follow in the next episode. We read Romans 14:1–12 and 15:1–7, where Paul addresses divisions in the church over secondary beliefs and calls believers to “welcome” one another as Christ has welcomed them.

We discuss that acceptance is more than tolerating differences; it’s a warm, kind embrace, especially toward those who think, live, or mature differently, and even those who annoy or hurt us.

Paul’s reasons include that God accepted us by grace, God will judge and uphold others, and a correcting/arguing posture can undermine love and fellowship.

We close with practical counsel to pray for humility, deeper awareness of God’s acceptance, and to yield our wills in prayer.

00:00 Cross Shaped Love

01:11 Reading Romans 14–15

03:09 Welcome One Another

04:18 Differences Test Love

06:05 Why Accept Others

09:15 Debate vs Relationships

12:17 How to Practice Acceptance

14:56 Prayer and Lord's Prayer

Welcome to another episode of In Light of the Cross, and

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we've been focusing the last few

weeks on how the cross changes

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the way that we view ourselves.

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And we are able to accept and

love ourselves because God

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has accepted and loved us.

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So it's not about comparing ourselves

to what we want to be, what others

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wish we were or think we are, but about

what God says because of the cross.

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last episode, we talked about

loving others because of the cross.

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So today and tomorrow we're gonna expand

on that by talking about specific ways

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that we show love to other people.

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Nathan: Yeah, I think this is

a good place to expand here.

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We're gonna be talking about

accepting others and how that,

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is a part of loving them.

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And then we're gonna be talking about

forgiveness and forgiving others,

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let's pause and invite the spirit to

speak to us now preparing ourselves.

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maybe there's a relationship or

certain relationships that are

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difficult to accept the way the

other person is behaving or living.

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Let's just put those before minds and I

ask the spirit to help us in this time

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so this can help us love others more.

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I

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Daniel: So we are going to read from

Romans chapter 14 verses one through 12,

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and then Romans 15 verses one through

seven, as you know, the first half of

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Romans describes what the cross does

before God, how it makes us right.

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And then the last half talks about how

we're supposed to live in light of that.

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So fitting here as we talk about

relationships in light of the cross.

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and the context here is about

divisions between Christians

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because of their beliefs, basically.

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Nathan: as for the one who is

weak in faith, welcome him.

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But not to quarrel over opinions.

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One person believes he may

eat anything while the weak

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person eats only vegetables.

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Let not the one who eats, despise the

one who abstains and let, not the one

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who abstains past judgment on the one

who eats for God has welcomed him.

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Who are you to pass judgment

on the servant of another?

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It is before his own master that he

stands or falls and he will be upheld

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for the Lord is able to make him stand.

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Christ died and lived again,

that he might be Lord of both

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the dead end of the living.

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Why do you pass judgment

on your brother or you?

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Why do you despise your brother?

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For we will all stand before

the judgment seat of God.

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For it is written as I live says the

Lord, every knee will bow to me and

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every tongue shall confess to God.

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So then each of us will give

an account of himself to God.

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We who are strong have an obligation

to bear with the failings of the

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weak and not to please ourselves.

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Let each of us please his neighbor

for his good to build him up

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may the God of endurance and encouragement

grant you to live in such harmony

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with one another in accordance with

Christ Jesus, that together you may

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with one voice, glorify the God and

Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Therefore, welcome one another as Christ

has welcomed you for the glory of God.

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Daniel: interesting passage.

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You notice it starts off

and ends with the same idea.

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To welcome or to accept each

other in spite of our differences.

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and then it goes on to trace

some of those differences.

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And Paul says, that's

not the big issue here.

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I want you to be able to accept or welcome

each other in spite of these things.

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Nathan: Yeah.

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you've got this.

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Church or these churches here in Rome,

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that have various levels of spiritual

maturity and that poses a problem here.

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How do you do community with

people who are different and

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have varying degrees of maturity?

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Daniel: Yeah.

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And that's what he is

gonna tell us, right?

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Nathan: Yeah.

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Daniel: And the key to

that really is that word.

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Welcome, in the NIB some versions,

put it, accept one another.

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that word in the Greek language

is promo, the United Bible

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Society Translation Handbook.

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said.

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It would be, receive one another

into your hearts, receive happily

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or welcome with kind words.

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So not just to acknowledge

their existence, but something

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that goes far beyond that.

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It's a warm embrace of the person,

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Nathan: yeah.

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Not just the absence of the negative, but

actually the embracing of the positive.

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Daniel: Right.

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So that's the idea here.

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Now what's the big problem?

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Well, we already talked about it.

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They have profound theological

and moral disagreements,

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i.

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And this is something that comes

up again and again in his letters.

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In fact, in one Corinthians 1119,

he says, no doubt there have

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to be disagreements among you.

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He says, in the first place, I hear

that when you come together as a

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church, there are divisions among

you, and to some extent I believe it.

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No doubt there have to be

differences among you to show which

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one of you has God's approval.

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That's an interesting idea.

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The idea is that we show we are Gods

not by having the right opinions.

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But how we show love to the other

people with different opinions.

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That's what Paul's getting at.

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Nathan: So the measure of love here isn't

just how you love those who think and

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believe and live like you, but actually

how you live with those brothers and

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sisters who have maybe differences

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Daniel: Yeah, it's not hard to love people

who value me and think the same way as me,

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both the same way as me, uh, interpret the

same way as me, live the same way as me.

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It's not hard usually.

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Nathan: Mm-hmm.

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Daniel: But to fully embrace people who

do out the opposite of those things,

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that's where the rubber hits the road, and

that's where we show that we're Christ.

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And sometimes it's not gonna be

theological or moral differences.

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It's gonna be personal relationship

dynamics the person just annoys

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us or they're demanding or for some

reason we just don't like them.

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Or sometimes it's because they have

said or done something that hurts us.

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Right.

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So it's not just theological

or moral differences.

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. Speaker 2: Okay.

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So acceptance.

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Help us understand biblically.

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Okay.

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Why should we do this?

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Well, Paul gives us a few reasons here,

and it's a good question because it may

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go against our natural desire in this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it seems like

oftentimes it'd just be easier

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to say, okay, good riddance.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Uh, it'll be easier.

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I'll have a lot less heartache,

like it'll be way easier to To

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have a different relationship

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Speaker: it would to shut down that

relationship and get a different one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: Or shut down that those church

relationships and get a different church.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: Seen that happen.

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Well, there are a bunch of reasons, but

they're centered on this first reason

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and that's because God has accepted

us as we are and not as we should be.

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And that thought really

undergirds the whole passage.

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So Snowman state that

Paul deals with this.

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Only after chapter and chapter

in Romans describing how God

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has accepted us by grace.

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. That's the idea.

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Undergirding this whole thing.

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Welcome others as Christ has

accepted you in the same way.

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How does Christ do that?

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Well, it's not because

we got it all right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: And he does it

completely out of grace.

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So that's the idea.

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And the second reason is because

God will judge them or fix them

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so you don't have to, right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I noticed that too.

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Why are you guys passing judgment on

another, like you're both servants,

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Speaker: right?

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Speaker 2: Of God who's gonna

judge someone else's servant like.

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God is gonna do this.

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God, God has this.

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So you don't have to.

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Speaker: Exactly.

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We will all be judged by Christ.

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That's his job, his job alone.

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It's above our pay grade.

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Um, so when we judge each other,

we're kind of usurping his authority.

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Mm-hmm.

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And then kind of related to that,

trying to fix them can actually

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interfere with loving them.

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And that's kind of how I'd

Summarized verses 14th through 21.

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Now Paul loved doctrine,

but he loved people more.

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his worry is that we focus on

issues which are not central to

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the gospel and try to persuade or

correct the other person instead of

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loving them and building them up.

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It.

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So when you withhold love, affection,

acceptance fellowship from someone

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because they disagree with you or they've

disappointed you or you don't like the

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way they, they think about things, you

are communicating as clear as crystal

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that your love and your affection

and your acceptance are conditional.

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And that's kind of related to a

fourth reason, is that our overall

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posture towards them, as you put

that, has to shift from arguing

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and correcting them to loving them.

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So our posture towards them can't be, I'm

going to convince them that they're wrong.

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But instead, I'm going to love

them in the sense of wanting the

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best thing for them and giving

towards that best thing if I can.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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And sometimes those things

aren't mutually exclusive.

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Speaker: No.

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but the posture it can be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah.

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So, and, and I think a lot of it depends

on your relationship with that person.

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Like, there are certainly relationships

where if somebody's doing something that

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is harmful to themselves, um, it, it's

absolutely appropriate for me to reason

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with them and argue them out of that.

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Speaker: Yeah, there

can, there can be that.

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Speaker 2: So, and that coming from

a deep place of love, but again, this

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is all about a har heart posture of

how we're interacting with people, not

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necessarily the implications of that.

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Speaker: Right.

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Yeah.

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as you probably know, I spent a lot

of time when I was in high school

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and then college on a debate team,

and in debate, you know, you have

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one goal to prove that you're right.

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So when I'm interacting with my debate

opponents over there, it's fine and

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appropriate to have that attitude.

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my framework towards that person is to

evaluate the arguments, find its weakness,

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and then communicate why they're wrong.

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That works fine.

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In interscholastic or

intercollegiate debate, it

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doesn't work well in a marriage.

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It doesn't work well

in other relationships.

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Speaker 2: I think it's part of

what's made you such a good pastor.

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, Speaker: I've had to turn that attitude

completely off in many times because

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it's easy for me to go back to that

and I have to say, wait a second.

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This isn't debate round.

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My goal here is not to

correct that person.

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My goal is to listen to them

and say, what are the real deep

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spiritual issues underneath this?

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And is there any way I

can help that person?

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Mm-hmm.

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Spiritually.

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Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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it's difficult when you have really,

Importantly and dearly held values.

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And when you are good at debate,

when you have a mind, that's quick.

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I mean, those are all good things, but

like you're saying, like that's a, that's

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a discipline that works well in one

context, but not so well in maybe another.

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Speaker: Right.

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Yeah.

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You can win an argument

but lose a relationship.

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Speaker 2: Ah,

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Speaker: or weaken it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker: Yeah, and I think that's

important because a lot of times we

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have certain relationships, maybe

with a parent or with a, a child, with

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a spouse or with a friend, and for

whatever reason, a large part of that

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relationship has gotten to the place

where we're trying to show that we're

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right and they're wrong, and maybe we

just need this reminder, Hey, let's, let's

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step back from that perspective, that

framework, and uh, and embrace instead.

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How can I listen to them and

seek their ultimate good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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it's also just like built on this,

what I've experienced to be usually

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a false assumption that if I can

just convince them that I'm right

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and there wrong, then they'll live

according to it and, and be better.

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Speaker: Right.

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Speaker 2: And it's like usually

the most helpful thing for them and

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healthy thing for them is just to love.

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And accept and like recognize, hey,

they're in a different spiritual

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journey than I'm on, and God is

working something different in

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their life than he is in mine.

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And I don't need to micromanage

the way that they're living or

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the beliefs that they have or

the differences that they have.

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Again, I'm not talking about obvious

New Testament morality here we're

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talking about differences in, secondary

issues or political beliefs or those

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kinds of things where it's like.

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Me convincing them that I'm

right and their wrong is not

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just going to win them over.

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Speaker: No, it won't.

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Normally, depending on their relationship,

it's not gonna help them at all

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because it's still something that's

imposed upon them from someone else.

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Even if you could logically beat

them into submission, that doesn't

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change their will, you know?

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Speaker 2: These are all really good

reasons and I think it's one thing

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to know, okay, we've gotta accept

others as Christ has accepted us, but.

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it's easier said than done.

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So what advice do you have?

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Like how do we actually do this?

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Speaker: I don't know that I have all the

answers here, but a couple things that I

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would suggest would be this, uh, first,

ask God to help you grow in humility.

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Speaker 2: Hmm.

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, Speaker: Just think about the remarkable

diversity opinions within the worldwide

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Church of God, and we have to just

say, God, I grew up a certain way and I

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believe certain things, and that's great.

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But would you help me to have,

along with the value for that,

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a certain humility, because I'm

probably not getting this all right.

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But that's not only an intellectual

humility, it's a humility that says

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I don't have to have other people

think the same way I do, to have a

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wonderful, great relationship with them.

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I can learn from them.

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I can learn from their disagreements

instead of viewing their disagreements

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as something I gotta fix.

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the Apostle Paul, I, I

like the way he puts it.

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Who makes you to differ one from another?

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And what do you have

that you did not receive?

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Of course, rhetorical questions.

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So why is someone else

thinking differently?

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Well, apparently God's okay with

that because the same guy that's

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working in me is working in them.

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Speaker 2: Hmm.

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Speaker: And why does this person, you

know, have a different personality,

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one that grates against me?

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Why does this person have

these habits that I don't like?

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Or maybe find offensive?

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Well, who makes us to differ to some

degree, yes, sins are choices, but

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personality, and things that go along with

all of that and the limitations of maybe

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their education and their background.

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And this kind of goes back to

what Paul says in our passage

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here, who are we to judge someone

else's servant to their own master?

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God?

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They'll stand or fall and

God will make them stand.

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. Speaker 2: So I think a natural place

for us to go for application here is to.

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Ask God for this, especially if there's

a person or people in your mind's

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eye that are difficult to accept,

brothers and sisters in the Lord,

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that, um, act differently than you

or hold different opinions than you

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to ask the Lord for a couple things.

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One, to help him deepen your

understanding and appreciation of the

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way that God loves and accepts you.

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And then as Daniel said,

to ask for humility.

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part of that prayer, for asking for

humility, being letting go of rights

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or your agenda or expectations or these

things that can get in the way of full

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acceptance of brothers and sisters.

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So spend a moment now in prayer, uh,

appreciating what God has done for you

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and asking him for humility in these ways.

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And let's conclude now.

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Yielding our wills to the Lord

by praying this ancient prayer

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that Jesus taught us to pray.

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Our father in heaven hallow it.

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Be your name.

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Your kingdom come, your will be

done on earth as it is in heaven.

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Give us today our daily bread

and forgive us our debts as we

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also have forgiven our debtors.

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And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

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Amen.