Shownotes
In this three-part stretch of The Weight Loss Podcast, Matt and Courtney dive beneath the surface of weight lossto explore the habits, mindset, and emotional resilience that truly drive transformation.
Matt and Courtney identify the four “real-life superpowers” that separate those who transform from those who quit: These qualities, Matt argues, matter more than any diet plan or workout routine — they are the foundation of every lasting transformation.
They share personal stories, coaching insights, and a few laughs as they explore why weight loss is never just about food or fitness — it’s about your mindset, habits, and how you handle life when it gets messy.
Because when you change the person, the results always follow.
Or as Matt puts it best:
“The shape you’re in is a reflection of what you’ve been doing — and who you’ve been being. Change the person, and the result will follow.”
Across these episodes, Matt and Courtney hammer home a consistent truth: Weight loss is the byproduct of mindset mastery.
To succeed long-term, you need to:
Develop resilience to push through discomfort.
Build consistency through imperfect but persistent effort.
Take accountability for your time and choices.
Practice honesty — with yourself, your coach, and your habits.
Address the real issues beneath the surface: stress, priorities, emotions, and self-neglect.
Matt’s philosophy reframes motivation:
“When your goals are tied to something emotionally powerful—whether it’s pride, relief, or personal growth—you don’t need to chase motivation. The emotional weight of the goal carries you forward.”
How we can help you -
• Calories Not Included – 87 fast, flexible and family-friendly recipes for people who are sick of weighing their lettuce.
These recipes have been hand-picked by us out of our coaching program for busy people who want to look, feel and function better...without living by a set of rules and without the diet drama.
You receive the book via instant digital download/email, and the book itself is ready to be printed for those who prefer their copies physical!
• The Weight Loss Podcast Classroom – Our structured, affordable 12-week introductory education and support program proven to help busy people like you know exactly where to start, how to get on track and stay on track.
Get started on a proven step-by-step path to taking control over your emotional eating, building healthy and sustainable habits that give you energy every day, improve your strength, fitness, body shape and confidence — without counting calories, following some silly unsustainable diet, dodgy supplements, expensive medications or feeling like you have to exercise for 300 hours per week.
You will learn more in 12 weeks than you have the past 5-10 years when it comes to exercise, nutrition, habits and real, sustainable healthy change. That's our promise to you. This program is perfect for absolute beginners and/or people on a super tight budget. Please note it is not a coaching program.
• The Weight Loss Podcast Academy – If you need personalised support as well as accountability, education, structure and direction from Matt and Courtney themselves, then get all the details on The Weight Loss Podcast Academy here.
This is our coaching program where we teach you everything you need to know and we do it right there with you via coaching, accountability, support and guidance from us personally. We accept clients via application only and work with people for a minimum of 12+ months (most stay for 2-3 years).
NOTE - we accept roughly 4% of applications we receive. What we do isn't for everyone and we are very selective as to who we invest our own time, energy and expertise into. Results guaranteed if you are accepted. This is best-in-industry education, coaching and accountability. It is not cheap.
Transcripts
Welcome to the Weight Loss Podcast, where we offer solutions to the obstacles you face when it comes to achieving your health and fitness goals.
Speaker A:As a married couple who's lost a combined weight of 100kg and 11 clothes sizes, our raw, real and relatable stories will show you the path you must walk to achieve and more importantly, maintain the results you know you can reach.
Speaker A:Because we know it works.
Speaker A:So get ready to share the success and show the results with your hosts, Matt and Courtney.
Speaker B:Hello, and welcome to the Weight Loss podc.
Speaker B:My name is Courtney, and next to me, as always, is Matt.
Speaker C:Hello.
Speaker C:It's nice to finally get this recording underway there, dear.
Speaker B:I can't stop laughing today, and I don't know why.
Speaker B:We are talking about today's topic, which is how do we stay motivated?
Speaker C:Okay, who's we?
Speaker B:You and me.
Speaker C:All right, so us.
Speaker C:So, yes.
Speaker C:This is.
Speaker C:I'm actually surprised we haven't done a podcast on this already.
Speaker B:I agree.
Speaker C:Because it is by far the question I've been asked the most.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:Over the last couple of years.
Speaker C:And it's a question that we get asked a lot as a couple.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:But I also get a lot individually.
Speaker B:So finally actually recognizing that we hadn't.
Speaker C:Done our fucking job.
Speaker B:Well, we've spoken about motivation before.
Speaker B:It's not like we haven't spoken about motivation, but we've spoken about it in more general terms, I think, and we've given advice and we've done lists and things like that, but I don't think we've ever really delved into our own.
Speaker B:We approach it how we approach it.
Speaker C:No, we haven't.
Speaker C:So it is indeed an overdue topic, because there's always the thing when you're looking to.
Speaker C:To improve at something.
Speaker C:Usually smart.
Speaker C:To look at what successful people do.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Now, I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, fuck, we're the best.
Speaker C:Even though we are.
Speaker C:I'm not going to sit here and say that.
Speaker C:But if there's one thing we've done well, I think it is conquer the motivation mountain.
Speaker B:I agree.
Speaker C:Conquer Mount Motivation.
Speaker E:One might say.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:So I think we do have some value that we can share, especially given that it is an issue that it's the biggest overall issue that people in and around weight loss have.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:So we've had the questions ourselves.
Speaker C:We've run surveys about what the biggest obstacles are that people have, and what's the one common word that keeps getting used?
Speaker B:Motivation.
Speaker C:It's motivation.
Speaker C:So it comes in conjunction with how do we also stay on top of things.
Speaker C:So it's definitely high time that we address it.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker C:So it is indeed the biggest overall issue that people have when it comes to weight loss.
Speaker B:I agree.
Speaker B:But I also think that it's something that is heavily, heavily overstated and overrated.
Speaker C:It is.
Speaker C:There is too much emphasis put on the idea of being motivated in terms of being a make or break thing.
Speaker C:So I didn't achieve what I wanted or I'm not going to achieve what I want to achieve because I'm not motivated.
Speaker C:Yeah, there's way too much emphasis on it because you and I can definitely sit here and say till we go blue in the face, that motivation or willpower alone is not going to get you there.
Speaker B:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker C:If you go into it, if you say, look, I want to drop four dress sizes, I want to lose 30 kilos, I want to do whatever, and you then say, I just need to be motivated to do it.
Speaker C:Well, no, it's something that we're going to touch on as we get into this episode and sort of unpack this.
Speaker C:But even now there's plenty of times where you and I aren't motivated.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, Heaps.
Speaker C:I would actually say for us that is normal.
Speaker C:But we work around it, which we'll explain through the course of this show.
Speaker B:And I think it's a day to day occurrence, really.
Speaker B:I mean, there's something in your life you're not motivated to do.
Speaker C:It might be an hour to hour occurrence.
Speaker C:It is with me sometimes.
Speaker B:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker B:So I don't think we put it.
Speaker B:There's certain areas in our life we don't focus on it at all, even though it's always there.
Speaker B:And then for some reason with weight loss, it just becomes this super big problem that everybody wants to focus on and everybody wants to see as the big mountain to have to conquer in order to achieve any sort of goal.
Speaker B:But then, you know, there's other areas.
Speaker B:Our life, we do things and we feel unmotivated to do it, but we do it anyway and we don't even think about it.
Speaker C:Well, I'm glad you said that because let's look at the, let's say our job.
Speaker D:Jobs.
Speaker C:So how often in our lives have we woken up, for example, on a Monday after a great weekend and gone.
Speaker E:Oh, gotta go to work.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, like, gotta get out of bed just to begin with.
Speaker B:Oh, God damn it.
Speaker B:Yeah, like, I have to actually get up.
Speaker C:I have to get up.
Speaker C:I have to dress myself and then get in the car, get on the train, get on the bus, whatever.
Speaker C:And I have to go to work.
Speaker C:And I guarantee you there's.
Speaker C:If you're anything like us, there's been plenty of times where you don't want to.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:But guess what?
Speaker C:You do it anyway, 100%.
Speaker B:And for a lot of people, they feel unmotivated, but it never occurs to them to do anything else.
Speaker B:Because you just go on autopilot now.
Speaker C:But also why, though?
Speaker B:Because you just know that you have to.
Speaker C:Yeah, because there's an outcome at the end.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:So the outcome is I've got a career, I've got a job, etc.
Speaker C:Because I need to pay the bills, got responsibilities.
Speaker C:Responsibilities.
Speaker C:I need to put the food on the table.
Speaker C:So you do it.
Speaker C:You do what you know you have to do even when you don't really.
Speaker F:Want to do it.
Speaker C:And that leads in.
Speaker C:I think what is the real issue here when it comes to the discussion of motivation is the question or the statement I want to make is, is it motivation or is it commitment that's actually missing with someone not getting what they want?
Speaker C:So to me, the job analogy is pretty solid because even on those days where you couldn't be stuff going to work, you do anyway because you're committed to the outcome.
Speaker C:It's going to get you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:So there's almost like a cold, hard logic there.
Speaker C:I need to pay the bills.
Speaker C:I need to achieve X, Y, Z. I need to do this to get there.
Speaker B:And you can translate that back to the weight loss.
Speaker C:Yes, you can.
Speaker C:But I think where people get tripped up is that because there's so much emotion wrapped up in it.
Speaker C:Because for a lot of us, work, it's a logical step.
Speaker C:It's a tool slash, a stepping stone to achieve some sort of desired outcome.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:Where, when you think about it, so is weight loss.
Speaker C:Weight loss is the desired outcome that you have from doing whatever X, Y, Z is.
Speaker C:Exercise, eating, sleeping, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker C:But because there's so much emotion attached into it, I think that's where motivation becomes a big talking point and a big thing that people focus on.
Speaker C:Yet we've discovered over time that it's not going to get you there.
Speaker C:And it's not the most important thing.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:Is far too emphasized, however, in the whole.
Speaker C:It is overemphasized.
Speaker C:Yeah, but we're not going to sit here and say it's not a factor because.
Speaker C:Yeah, it is because we go through it ourselves.
Speaker C:So we.
Speaker C:We can't sit here and say that.
Speaker C:Courtney and Matt.
Speaker C:Yeah, we're motivated all the time.
Speaker C:Fucking no we're not.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker C:I mean, we love what we do, but we don't love everything about our lives.
Speaker C:There's some things where it's like this needs to happen as part of what we have to do to get a certain outcome.
Speaker C:Okay, how many I have for myself, the amount I can count or the amount of times I've had to do something that I haven't particularly enjoyed, when instead I would rather go and play video games if I had a dollar for every time this occurred.
Speaker C:I'll be living on Matt Island.
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker C:Probably somewhere on the moon, because I built my own moon base with all my dollars.
Speaker C:You know what I mean?
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:So I think the discussion that we're going to have here is we're not going to sit here and just say, oh, if you focus on motivation, you're wrong because it is a factor.
Speaker C:We're going to discuss how Courtney and I work around that factor.
Speaker C:How we sort of take it out of the equation.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:So to speak.
Speaker B:So to begin with, I just want to pose a question, Matt.
Speaker B:We're going to go in more detail, obviously, and break down into sort of different categories of our life where motivation could play a role and how we.
Speaker C:Deal with it and where it does.
Speaker B:Play a role where it doesn't.
Speaker B:And we're going to give each individual opinions on those sort of subcategories.
Speaker B:But just to begin with, I'll pose a question that will both answer.
Speaker B:Hit me, which is, overall, what do you think your number one tip for overcoming the fixation of motivation has been for you?
Speaker B:I can give mine first.
Speaker B:Go for it if you'd like.
Speaker C:Go for it.
Speaker B:So mine, I think by far has been the biggest lesson that I've learned and the biggest tip that I could give overall as a general would be that I think for me, not looking at my weight loss in terms of time has been huge for me in terms of a timeline, in terms of a start and a finish date.
Speaker B:So looking at it as just literally, I know it sounds really like wanky to say, oh, it's a lifestyle change and talk about all this lifestyle stuff.
Speaker D:But it really is.
Speaker B:And to look at it in terms of changing my lifestyle.
Speaker B:So this is just my life now.
Speaker B:Like, this is just how I live my life.
Speaker B:I exercise, I eat good food, I watch what I eat.
Speaker B:I have all of these things.
Speaker B:I prep my food every week and.
Speaker B:And you know, I don't eat takeaway food, these sort of things.
Speaker B:It's just become part of my everyday routine in my everyday life.
Speaker B:And I Think in the past where I had gone wrong was always setting a start and a finish date.
Speaker B:So for me, everything that I did and it wasn't just based around my goals, it was just generally I was going to eat this and do this for this time to this time.
Speaker C:I believe that's called a diet.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So obviously setting dates and things like that for your goals is a whole different thing.
Speaker B:And I'm not talking about that.
Speaker B:I'm talking about just generally how long.
Speaker C:You'Re going to be doing this routine for.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Okay, yeah, I changed it from having a start and a finish date to just accepting that this is now my life and this is how I live and this is my normal.
Speaker B:So when I go away on holidays or whatever, I'll still work out.
Speaker B:And people say to me, why are you working out?
Speaker B:You're on holidays.
Speaker B:And it's because, well, that's just what I know to do.
Speaker B:And that's how my body feels good.
Speaker B:If I'm working out and I'm staying active.
Speaker B:So that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker B:And that's just become my new normal.
Speaker B:And so as a general rule, obviously we talk about it when, when we talk about it in our subcategories, I'll go into a little bit more.
Speaker B:But as a general rule, I rarely ever think about motivation.
Speaker C:So you're asking on a macro level before we dive into the micro level.
Speaker E:Like we spoke about before we started recording.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Now that you've elaborated on that, I can answer the question very easily.
Speaker C:So on the macro level of myself, dealing with motivation on a whole, for me is a very simple thing.
Speaker C:It comes down to you ask yourself, why are you doing this?
Speaker C:And that's where I touched on it before, motivation versus commitment.
Speaker C:If you're committed to an outcome that is very, very important to you, and this is why I use the work analogy, if you're committed to an outcome that's important to you, you don't need to be motivated, you're just going to do it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:So where I find a lot of people get tripped up isn't actually a lack of motivation.
Speaker C:Because to me, a lack of motivation means you're human because you're going to have those days where you couldn't be fucked.
Speaker C:I would probably say I have those days more often than I don't.
Speaker C:However, for me personally, overall, whatever I'm doing, I'm tying it to an outcome that is very, very, very important to me.
Speaker C:If the outcome isn't really emotional or important to me, Have a guess what's going to happen.
Speaker C:Nothing.
Speaker C:I'm not going to get it.
Speaker C:It's very easy.
Speaker C:A lot of people will set goals.
Speaker C:This plays as a goal setting thing here as well.
Speaker C:Setting goals they think they need versus setting goals that they actually want.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:So the discussion of goal setting as it relates to motivation has to be around an emotional outcome that is really important.
Speaker C:And that emotional outcome can be an achievement.
Speaker C:I think it can also be removing something that causes you pain.
Speaker C:Now I don't just mean physical pain, I mean emotional and mental pain.
Speaker C:So very, very simple for a lot of people.
Speaker C:Could be if you don't like what you see in the mirror, perhaps a good goal is to fix that.
Speaker C:So the commitment here is to being proud of what you see in the mirror and being proud of the person that you are.
Speaker C:Now if turning that around and taking away that pain point is something that's going to change your life in very meaningful ways, you'd be surprised how little motivation actually comes into it.
Speaker C:So I found that with myself, that's what really helped me ramp things up was I did not want to be the way I used to be.
Speaker C:And where these days it's more a case of I've gone from like, I'm not ever going to go back to what I used to be.
Speaker C:But what drives me now in terms of commitment is setting goals for myself that are achievements that are going to push me out of my boundaries and force me to develop and grow personally and also professionally.
Speaker C:But I've got to.
Speaker C:Challenges have to be there and the reward has to be worth it.
Speaker C:So I know for me, I often on a big scale will take motivation out of the equation by having an outcome that is very, very powerful to me.
Speaker C:For example, Courtney and I for a couple of years did a lot of sacrificing living in a very, very, very small little house.
Speaker C:Actually, I wouldn't even call it a house, more like a dog kennel.
Speaker D:I wasn't that small, but yes, it was very small.
Speaker C:Well, small enough.
Speaker C:And given I'm a hoarder, as Courtney will gladly.
Speaker B:I don't know if you're a hoarder as much as you're a collector.
Speaker C:I hoard certain things, yes, hoarder, slash collector in particularly of electronics and video games is my main hobby.
Speaker C:I'm just a nerd, a proud card carrying nerd.
Speaker C:And I love computer games, I love technology, I love all those cool toys.
Speaker C:That's my thing.
Speaker C:So the anchor point for me with being really on the ball, for example, Being a hard worker is I want to set myself up with a really cool man cave.
Speaker C:That was the anchor point that drove me to work so hard to get better, for example, as a trainer and be better at helping people.
Speaker C:Because I learned along the way that if you want to help yourself, you'd be surprised at how rewarding helping others can be as well you want to be.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:Give us gain, one might say.
Speaker C:And that led to me really developing a work ethic that got the outcome that I wanted.
Speaker C:Now I've got the man cave.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:And believe me, all along the way, the last probably five years, there's been plenty of times where it's like, I.
Speaker E:Don'T wanna do this.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:I'm not like.
Speaker C:I know I haven't said this to many people, but there has been quite a number of times through my career as a trainer and a coach.
Speaker C:So I've thought about leaving.
Speaker C:Hmm.
Speaker C:It's easier to go back to the office, to go back to the nine to five.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I've had that thought on more occasions than I could probably care to admit.
Speaker C:Now, what's kept me from doing that is one, I love what I do overall, but also I'm working towards an outcome that's very important to me.
Speaker C:I think when that outcome is missing, that's where things start to get in the way, or it's easy to sort of pull the pin.
Speaker C:I'm not going to do it now.
Speaker B:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker C:So.
Speaker B:Well, I wanted to start off with sort of an overview of how.
Speaker B:Well, the main thing that we've each learned from being able to set aside motivation and how to keep it sort of buried away, but in terms of which is going to help more people, I think, and help you listening, that if we get a bit more specific into the categories that you were probably.
Speaker D:Going through as well.
Speaker C:First, keep in mind, as well, what we just spoken about is an overall scale, but all the little things we're about to now break down into have worked up into that.
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:Good point.
Speaker C:So we, Courtney and I have five individual.
Speaker C:Let's call them micro categories.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:That people struggle with when it comes to motivation.
Speaker C:And we personally have had struggles with these as well.
Speaker C:So we're going to unpack these little micro issues and then talk about how we have overcome them or how we work around them.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker B:And number one is exercise.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:So quite often I've heard a bazillion times, I didn't get to the gym because I wasn't motivated to go.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:I've had that stacks of stacks and stacks and stacks of times.
Speaker C:Especially for me at the start, I just did not want to go.
Speaker C:You ever had that yourself?
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:I think it's generally quite wide known now for anyone who listens to our podcast on a regular basis how much I despise exercise.
Speaker B:But, yes, I do despise exercise.
Speaker C:You dislike it more than I do.
Speaker B:I don't know how anybody would like it personally, but there are people out there that's good on you for having that love for it.
Speaker B:But yeah, I'm definitely not one of them.
Speaker C:Would you say then for yourself that when it comes to motivation, exercise is the biggest challenge for you because of how much you dislike it?
Speaker C:You've got to really build yourself up to do it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Exercise and food are probably, you know, food is going to be the number two.
Speaker B:Exercise and food are pretty up there for me, pretty similar.
Speaker B:And I'll explain more about that when we get to the next topic of food.
Speaker B:But exercise is definitely up there.
Speaker B:Like, just the thought of going to do it just is like, oh, you know, like not even getting changed and actually getting to the gym.
Speaker C:Well, do you want to share what you asked me before we started recording.
Speaker E:About speaking of exercise today?
Speaker B:Well, yes.
Speaker B:I am due to do a cardio session today and I'm not running at the moment because I have a bit of a niggly shoulder rotator cuff at the moment.
Speaker B:And when I'm running, if I drop my posture at all, my shoulder will start to hurt.
Speaker B:So rather than take the risk that I'm going to aggravate it, I have aggravated it.
Speaker C:Is your shoulder sore from carrying me through life?
Speaker C:I'm weighing down.
Speaker B:Am I I avoiding running at the moment?
Speaker B:So I would usually go for a run today, but I'm just going to do a bit of a home workout today and I have asked Matt if he will take me through it.
Speaker C:Why?
Speaker B:Because I push harder when there's somebody else there.
Speaker B:So even if that other person isn't even doing the same thing I'm doing, like Matt, I said we'll do it over lunchtime while he's eating and he can just sit there and back out orders.
Speaker B:Back out orders.
Speaker B:But even if he was sitting there not even telling me what to do, but just the fact that he's sitting there, it would make me push harder.
Speaker B:And that's just the way it works for me.
Speaker B:So that's why I always try to do cardio with other people where I can, even if they're doing something else at the same time.
Speaker B:They're still there.
Speaker B:I just push harder.
Speaker B:I don't know whether it's because I don't want to look soft in front of other people or I don't want to look weak.
Speaker B:It's just something triggers me.
Speaker B:And if there's somebody there, even if they're not doing it too, I will push harder.
Speaker B:That is one thing for me, that has always been a big thing for overcoming the motivation of working out, which is always to make sure that I have somebody to work out with or go to the gym with.
Speaker B:Matt and I, we go to the gym all the time together and we very rarely do the same thing.
Speaker B:So we might do the same thing in terms of working out the same area of the body.
Speaker B:We generally have the same leg day together, same upper body day, but we have different exercises that we do.
Speaker B:But just the fact that he's there, that's also one of the reasons we joined a commercial gym and we don't even work out in our own studio, is because when you're in a commercial gym, for me, you.
Speaker B:There's other people around you and they're not watching you.
Speaker B:They don't even know you.
Speaker B:But just having the atmosphere of people working out around you helps me push harder and get it done.
Speaker C:That makes the two of us.
Speaker B:So that has been a big factor for me.
Speaker B:My next big factor for overcoming motivation with exercising, which I think is to be your biggest one, Matt.
Speaker B:So I'll let you touch on it, which I think is going to be your answer for overcoming mostly everything on our list, which is headphones.
Speaker C:Not quite, but it's up there.
Speaker B:But yes, definitely having headphones is.
Speaker B:Has been huge for me as well.
Speaker B:So I can thank Matt for that one because very early days, he highly recommended that I wear headphones to the gym.
Speaker B:And I have never looked back.
Speaker C:Well, there is the part where mostly.
Speaker E:Gym music is shit.
Speaker B:It generally is.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's not.
Speaker B:Sometimes our gym has good music.
Speaker C:I wouldn't know.
Speaker B:You wouldn't know, but I know only because Matt's headphones broke.
Speaker C:Overused.
Speaker B:He broke his headphones?
Speaker C:I wouldn't say I broke them.
Speaker C:I'd say they've just been worn down.
Speaker B:When we went to the gym, because I'm such a nice person, I gave him my headphones and I worked out with no headphones.
Speaker B:And I can tell you that the gym music wasn't that bad.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So what is it for you then that gets you motivated to exercise?
Speaker B:For me, it always comes back down to, I think because I've trained Myself to the point where all I think about now is the reason why I'm doing it.
Speaker B:So if I ever have second thoughts about what I'm doing, I always remind myself of why I'm going to the gym.
Speaker C:Was it that way when we first met?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:What got you into the gym then was the accountability of working with someone.
Speaker D:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker C:And the fact you had the hots for your trainer.
Speaker B:Yeah, that one too.
Speaker B:Needed to impress.
Speaker C:I knew it.
Speaker B:But yeah, it was definitely the accountability of working with someone.
Speaker B:And that's why I seeked out a trainer in the first place, because I've been trying to do it by myself for so long and I was clearly not going anywhere.
Speaker C:By the way, there is a podcast we must hit in the near future.
Speaker C:The whole thing of, oh, it's okay, I'll do it on my own.
Speaker B:Yeah, so I was definitely not going anywhere.
Speaker B:I had worked with a trainer about a year or two before meeting Matt for a short period of time and I had got some great results then.
Speaker C:Did you?
Speaker B:Yeah, it wasn't like in a gym or anything.
Speaker B:It was just the husband of a girl I worked with who was a trainer.
Speaker B:He used to do a little bit on the side, but it wasn't like weightlifting.
Speaker B:It was more cardio based stuff that I did with him.
Speaker C:So big and bulky, you know.
Speaker B:So it was mostly just what I was doing at the gym anyway.
Speaker B:It was just that he was telling me what to do.
Speaker B:It was only for a short period of time, but I did manage to lose some weight doing that.
Speaker B:But then, of course, when I went back to doing it by myself, I wasn't pushing very hard and I wasn't doing other things.
Speaker B:I would literally just go to the gym and walk on the treadmill.
Speaker C:Wait, so you're saying that the whole I'll do it by myself thing is largely bullshit?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:No, I know.
Speaker B:No, yeah, I was struggling.
Speaker B:I put all the weight that I had lost back on, plus more, I think.
Speaker C:Stop me if you've heard that one before.
Speaker B:Yeah, and because I was a member of a commercial gym at the time, I just asked about personal training because I got to the point where I knew, I just knew that I was not going to be able to do.
Speaker D:It on my own.
Speaker B:As much as I wanted to.
Speaker B:As much as I was a full tight ass and didn't want to pay anyone, I just knew.
Speaker B:I knew I couldn't do it on my own.
Speaker B:And I was so unhappy that something had to give.
Speaker B:So I asked and that's how I Met Matt.
Speaker B:But that would be the main reason, though, that I got over that roadblock of motivation to work out.
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker B:Now all I think about when I can't be bothered going to the gym is why I'm going.
Speaker B:And that's not only because of my goals.
Speaker B:As Matt said earlier, it's the commitment to why you're doing it, but also because I just know that my body.
Speaker D:Feels like shit if I don't work out.
Speaker B:Because, you know, in the past, if something's happened or it's been one of those weeks where I feel like I'm fighting off an illness or something like that and.
Speaker B:And I'm not working out or I've just had a really big heavy block of 12 week of lifting weights and I say, you know what?
Speaker B:I'm going to take a week off before starting again just to let deload that week.
Speaker B:Oh, mate, it sucks.
Speaker B:You can't wait for the week off because you're like, oh, I'm so sick of working out.
Speaker B:I'm so sick of going to the gym.
Speaker B:And then you get to the week off and you're like, oh, I just feel shit.
Speaker B:Like my body feels sluggish and just.
Speaker B:You actually miss the gym.
Speaker B:That's probably the other thing that I think about when I can't be bothered going to the gym.
Speaker B:Those are the two main things that get me through.
Speaker C:For me, there's probably two things.
Speaker C:The first one is how I view exercise.
Speaker C:It's means to an end.
Speaker C:So I want to achieve abc.
Speaker C:Well, I need to do X, Y, Z to get there.
Speaker C:I can't achieve goals on good intentions alone.
Speaker C:Funnily enough, no one can.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker C:So to me, if I want to achieve a certain look or improve my body shape, for example, sitting at home on the couch is not going to do it, is it?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker C:So to me, the first thing is it's means to an end.
Speaker C:I want to get this, then I.
Speaker E:Have to do that.
Speaker C:It's my way of saying what you just said, Courtney, is it's the outcome.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:The second thing you've already sort of given away is what's then going to get me in the mood to do it.
Speaker C:So, yeah, there is the headphones.
Speaker C:I very rarely seen without them when I do things that I find mundane.
Speaker C:But it's not so much just the headphones, it's the mental boost it gives me.
Speaker C:So in the gym, doing weights, I'm always listening to music, but it's music that I like that fires me up.
Speaker B:It's also what you do on the weight of a gym.
Speaker B:Like, you don't just start the music, though, Matt, when you get to the gym, you start the music when you're leaving the house.
Speaker C:I've got to get in a certain mood.
Speaker B:So, I mean, that works for you.
Speaker B:What sort of music do you listen to?
Speaker B:Because that often, you know, it works for different people.
Speaker B:I mean, some people are really big into sort of techno dance music.
Speaker B:Some people get fired up by heavy metal sort of rock music.
Speaker B:Some people get fired up by just, you know, Beyonce.
Speaker C:It depends on the mood.
Speaker C:I want if I know that it's going to be a big one today or especially towards the end of the program where you're hitting the big numbers.
Speaker C:I need to have some aggression.
Speaker C:I personally have learned over time I can't go to the gym in a good mood because good mood doesn't try as hard as bad mood.
Speaker B:It's probably a good thing then that you.
Speaker B:When you don't really want to go to the gym because you're already pissed off that you could go.
Speaker C:Yeah, I suppose so.
Speaker C:Often it'll be something rather heavy and loud, and often it'll be something heavy and loud from the 80s.
Speaker C:So I do like hair metal cockroach, as it's called.
Speaker B:I've never heard that before, ever.
Speaker C:Oh, well, okay.
Speaker C:Anyway, I do like it loud and aggressive.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:But that's only with weights.
Speaker C:I haven't listened to music when doing, for example, like, a cardio session by myself or the two of us for 10 years.
Speaker D:Wow.
Speaker C:It's now all audiobooks and podcasts because I've noticed over time that, like, if we're doing, like, a hill sprint session together, I can push my body and you've seen it, like, fly up the hills with you.
Speaker C:But mentally, my brain is digesting something that interests me.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think that's a really good point.
Speaker B:And I think this is also going to lead into our number two, which is food.
Speaker C:Well, I was just going to say before we move on to the next one, if you said to me like, Courtney, you said to me, oh, we're doing our hill sprint session together today.
Speaker C:But, Matt, you have to do it without headphones.
Speaker C:I'm going to suck.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker C:Because I'm going to want it to be over as soon as I can because I'm not mentally engaged.
Speaker C:This is the way I know that.
Speaker E:I'm wired.
Speaker C:So for me, having something that's mentally engaging me while I'm doing it, I push harder.
Speaker C:I get the full session done, and there's no Compromise where without headphones.
Speaker C:I've noticed in the past I've compromised.
Speaker C:Get it over and done with.
Speaker C:For me, if I go into it with that sort of a mindset, it's not going to be the quality that I think it should be.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think that's a really good point.
Speaker B:And I think that what you listen to in those sort of situations, there's no right or wrong.
Speaker B:It's like, what suits you.
Speaker B:I mean, everybody's different.
Speaker B:So I save my podcasts and my audiobooks for my walks and for food shopping and food prepping.
Speaker C:Great segue.
Speaker B:I know, right?
Speaker C:The second micro category of people struggle with a lot when it comes to motivation.
Speaker C:We're going to call it food, but we're in particular talking about breaking this down into the food choices that we make.
Speaker C:Yes, but also what's required to make the food choices.
Speaker C:Preparation.
Speaker C:Cooking, et cetera.
Speaker C:Courtney, how has this affected you and how have you worked around it?
Speaker B:Well, I struggle with the vegetable thing.
Speaker B:I don't like to eat vegetables.
Speaker B:And I've always struggled with the amount of food that you have to for your metabolism to really function properly.
Speaker B:Because I went for so many years trying to decrease the amount of food that I was eating.
Speaker B:Getting my head around now, increasing the amount of food you're eating, but in a good way, which is going to work in your favor, has been always a big challenge for me.
Speaker B:And then obviously, just having some variety in my food is always a challenge for me because I get bored of what I eat really quickly, and then once I get bored of what I eat, where I'd rather go hungry than eat it.
Speaker B:If I overeat a certain dish, it gets to the point where I can't even smell it.
Speaker B:It puts me right off it.
Speaker B:So every so often, I've got to switch up what I'm eating and come up with really great new alternatives.
Speaker B:And I'm not a chef, so that is also a big challenge for me is coming up with new varieties of food or new ways to cook food or new flavors to put in food, things like that.
Speaker B:That's going to keep things interesting for me.
Speaker B:The shopping part for me is not a big problem.
Speaker B:They're coming up with recipes, the cooking and the eating it, which I find sometimes challenging.
Speaker B:So the cooking time, the prepping time, if I've got something to listen to or something to watch, it makes the time go so much quicker, and it makes such a mundane task become really enjoyable.
Speaker B:I mean, I think remembering my commitment as to why I'm doing It might going to be one of my answers to every one of these points because it really is the main thing that goes through my head whenever I have those times where I second guess what I'm doing.
Speaker D:Because I still have them.
Speaker B:Matt, I think you would still have them.
Speaker C:Not anymore.
Speaker C:But I'll discuss how that came to be.
Speaker B:And it doesn't happen to me very often, but if it ever did, it would be for a split second.
Speaker B:And all I have to do is remind myself as to why I'm doing it.
Speaker B:And again, the main reason, and that's why I wanted to touch on it before we went into these subcategories, is because it's just become such a way of life for me and I've really just accepted this as my normal life.
Speaker B:Everything really clicked into place for me.
Speaker B:Not think about it.
Speaker B:Not think about motivation, not think about am I motivated.
Speaker C:So that's normal now.
Speaker B:It's just become such a normal way of life.
Speaker C:That's kind of like a sneak preview for our third point that we'll get into.
Speaker C:So with myself, there's two ways I break this up.
Speaker C:On the one hand, there is making the conscious choices of what am I putting into my body.
Speaker C:There is the motivation to do that, and then there is the motivation to actually facilitate that being possible.
Speaker C:Which you sort of touched on when it comes to shopping, because I fucking hate it.
Speaker C:No, I personally detest cooking.
Speaker C:Love eating, but detest cooking and detest shopping.
Speaker C:However, again, as I said with exercise, means to an end.
Speaker C:So it's unfortunately all too common when it comes to weight loss to put all the emphasis purely on exercise.
Speaker C:I know because I've done it myself where it's all about the workouts and not about everything else.
Speaker C:Except the workouts generally comprise roughly 3% of your week.
Speaker C:So then what are you doing for the other 97% of your week?
Speaker C:You know what I mean?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:So again, there's means to an end, as Cody touched on before.
Speaker C:Good old headphones.
Speaker C:For me, again, it's a mental stimulus.
Speaker C:So I just have things in place where I'm going to be mentally engaged in something that is of interest to me.
Speaker C:So I may want to catch up on the latest free agent signings in the NFL off season or the latest video game news, or pick a topic that I like here.
Speaker C:So I'm mentally going to be engaged while my body's on autopilot doing the thing it has to do to facilitate the goal I want to get.
Speaker C:Now, when it comes to the actual discussion about motivation, to make certain food choices.
Speaker C:For me, there's two different parts to this.
Speaker C:Where initially, when I first was getting started, it's like, okay, I've been eating all this junk food for so long and now I'm a disgusting blob.
Speaker C:So the motivation there wasn't more about I've got to eat healthy.
Speaker C:It's more this food that I've been eating for so long has done this to me.
Speaker C:So the motivation was I've got to start to gradually make some changes.
Speaker C:And I think the biggest thing for me when it comes to losing all that weight wasn't what I ate, it was actually what I didn't eat.
Speaker C:So cutting back on the alcohol because I was a fairly heavy drinker, cutting back on all the junk food and then start to replace it with common sense choices, things that I like, the taste of, things that I didn't have to force today, modern times to me, where it's easy for me to make good food choices because I like what I have, I think if you are forcing yourself to eat food that you, quite frankly, don't like the taste of, one, it's a diet.
Speaker C:Two, it's easy to lose motivation because you're not looking forward to it.
Speaker D:I totally agree with that.
Speaker C:It's easy for me to be motivated to make good food choices when I like what I'm having.
Speaker C:I think personally, because food is an emotional thing for all of us and we're all emotional leaders, eating food should not be a chore.
Speaker E:No.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:What's the next one?
Speaker B:The next one is sticking to it and not giving up too soon.
Speaker F:Right.
Speaker C:How often do you hear of people that might start, oh, I'm going to the gym.
Speaker C:I'm back in the gym.
Speaker C:I got a new trainer and I'm doing this great program, and two weeks later, I'm out.
Speaker C:Yeah, it didn't work.
Speaker C:I didn't lose 20 kilos in a day.
Speaker B:Like, I know you were joking, but am I?
Speaker B:I think that's a really good one.
Speaker D:Which is.
Speaker B:I think in those sorts of situations, it often comes down to a couple of things, which is the expectations weren't realistic.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:So once you get disappointed, if you've got an idea in your mind that something's going to be a certain way and it's not realistic in the first place.
Speaker B:We're just setting yourself up to fail.
Speaker B:And then when you fail, you're going to feel shit and you're going to quit.
Speaker B:So I think the other reason why it happens, giving up too soon and not Sticking to it is just what you said before, Matt, which is it's unsustainable.
Speaker B:You're being required to eat food that you don't like or to cut out foods that unrealistic.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker C:Or you're being too restrictive.
Speaker B:Being too restrictive.
Speaker B:And the exercise requirement is to a point where it's unsustainable long term.
Speaker C:You're trying to change too much at once.
Speaker B:Could be something gets you to go to the gym twice a day, or, you know, it's all these sort of things.
Speaker B:It could be something that just has a start and a finish date on it, which was what I spoke about earlier in the podcast, and that becomes too much pressure.
Speaker B:Or, I mean, it could just be that you started something and your goals weren't important enough to you in the first place to start.
Speaker B:All right, and the first hurdle came up and you gave up.
Speaker C:Question for you then, wife.
Speaker C:Since you and I have met, what has prevented you from giving up?
Speaker B:I think probably a combination of I was so unhappy and I was so ready to make a change.
Speaker B:I just wanted the change so much that I was really committed to what I was doing that was, I think, helped by the fact that I found you and the program or the way in which you worked.
Speaker B:And you taught me it wasn't restrictive.
Speaker B:The nutrition you were teaching me wasn't restrictive.
Speaker B:You had the ability to make mistakes.
Speaker B:It wasn't that you had to be 100% perfect all the time.
Speaker B:The exercise commitment wasn't above and beyond.
Speaker B:It wasn't restricting the amount of food I was eating, which was a shock when Matt told me initially that I wasn't eating enough food and I was doing my best to try to not eat very much food.
Speaker C:An undereating female, who'd have heard that one?
Speaker B:I think it was a combination of me being in the mindset where I wanted my.
Speaker B:I wanted to change more than anything, and finding you and you teaching me that the way that I could do it was definitely a sustainable way of living.
Speaker B:I think that was just like the perfect combination for me, which made it easy to follow through and not give up.
Speaker B:And I think at the time as well, I was pretty lucky as well that I had really great support around me.
Speaker B:So there wasn't really a lot of, you know, negativity around me at the time.
Speaker B:And I was able just to.
Speaker B:To get on and with it and do it.
Speaker B:I think it was just a perfect storm that all came together with that.
Speaker B:What about yourself?
Speaker C:For me, I can trace it back to one key thing right from the outset, when I had my snap point and decided it was time to actually knuckle down and change, I always had the expectation of long term.
Speaker C:I never once thought to myself, I'm going to fix this in this period of time.
Speaker C:All I would say to myself and all I was promising was, I'm going to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to see what the best version of me is through every area of my life.
Speaker C:So Courtney touched on expectations a little earlier.
Speaker C:That was the biggest thing for me.
Speaker C:I never went into it thinking short term, thinking quick fix.
Speaker C:It was permanent change right from the outset.
Speaker C:And that can be a big pill for people to swallow because obviously it is human nature to, you know, the whole instant gratification.
Speaker C:I want it now.
Speaker C:I mean, I'm no different.
Speaker C:I always want things now.
Speaker C:I'll just had that.
Speaker C:The mind frame right from the start of however long it takes, whatever it takes, I'm going to do it and I'm not going to stop.
Speaker C:And I think that was the key thing for me, even though, and I've already given it away earlier.
Speaker C:I'm like, I'm not going to sit here and say, I've never thought about giving up.
Speaker C:I've thought about giving up everything so many times.
Speaker C:I've thought about, you know, this exercise thing's too hard, this food thing's too hard.
Speaker C:I've thought about quitting as a pt stacks and stacks of times.
Speaker C:When Courtney and I opened up our gym, it struggled at the start, and I thought about getting rid of it and go back to the office.
Speaker C:I questioned myself when we were setting up this podcast, why are you guys doing this?
Speaker C:Is just personal trainers.
Speaker C:I can't sit here and say, I've never had that thought because that would be a lie.
Speaker C:I think what helps me overcome is, as I said, I'm always and have always thought, play the long game, give it time and be patient and allow yourself to grow into things.
Speaker C:So that approach to things mentally has helped me get good at whatever I choose to get good at because I allow myself time to improve and to grow.
Speaker C:And I'm also understanding of the fact that it's not going to be a smooth ride.
Speaker C:So I also think that's where a lot of people come undone.
Speaker C:It's not just the timeframe, it's the expectation of, oh, well, everything needs to go perfectly.
Speaker C:Newsflash.
Speaker C:Fucking nothing will go perfectly.
Speaker C:Yeah, shit, will 100% go wrong.
Speaker C:That is the one guarantee you can make with anyone's weight loss or A transformation that you can't see coming and you can't plan for.
Speaker C:I tend to find those times are the real test of someone's character.
Speaker C:Anyone can be all over it when things are smooth.
Speaker C:That's the easy part.
Speaker C:The hard part is how do you react when presented with a challenge.
Speaker D:Yep.
Speaker D:Love it.
Speaker C:So I think you'll find with the giving up too soon part, it will come down to one, expectations of time and two, expectations of difficulty.
Speaker C:It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen as soon as you want.
Speaker C:Get over it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Next one Time.
Speaker B:So it's more about our day to day time management.
Speaker C:Now.
Speaker C:We have done a podcast on this.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:Which I will look up the episode number now.
Speaker C:But it is still worth touching on because time is also a big obstacle that we've been told and we've spoken about with people that we've worked with and people that we know.
Speaker B:Yeah, a lot of people, obviously.
Speaker B:I mean, these are categories where people have mentioned to us motivation and these different categories in the same sentence.
Speaker B:So when people talk about time management, they often talk about it in terms of motivation and they relate it back to the fact that they're just not motivated and that's why they don't make the time.
Speaker C:Well, just for reference, the episode we did on this was episode 12, how to lose weight when you're just too busy.
Speaker C:So you'll find that in the archives at where, Courtney, the weight loss podcast dot com.
Speaker C:Thank you very much.
Speaker C:But so we're not going to get too in depth into here because we've already done it.
Speaker C:But just it's worth bringing up because it is an issue.
Speaker C:So, Courtney, with yourself, how do you make time?
Speaker C:Where do you find the time?
Speaker C:Because in the end, here's the thing.
Speaker C:Whether you've got kids or you don't have kids, once you get to this thing called adulthood, you're going to be busy because the time is going to be filled up with something or some things.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Kids.
Speaker C:No, kids like irrelevant.
Speaker C:We're all busy.
Speaker C:So, Courtney, you're busy.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker C:How do you make the time or where do you find the time to get this stuff done?
Speaker B:Well, I think it comes down to you can't just invent more time in the day.
Speaker B:The time in the day is the time in the day itself.
Speaker B:So all I do is I tend to look ahead.
Speaker B:I like to plan, I'm a planner.
Speaker B:I like to have an idea day to day, what I'm doing, where I'm going and within That I plan when I'm going to the gym, when I'm not going to the gym, when I'm doing my food prep, when I'm not doing my food prep.
Speaker B:I mean, it's just a matter of looking in the fridge one day when I'm getting some food out and seeing, okay, we're starting to run low on a few things.
Speaker B:I know within the next day or so I'm going to need to go to supermarket and do a stock up.
Speaker B:And so then all it comes down to in my mind is starting to plan out how my next day and a bit looks then in order to get that done.
Speaker B:And I think it just comes down to that.
Speaker B:I think it's just prioritizing what needs to be done.
Speaker B:And then for me it's just logically in which order am I going to get it done in.
Speaker B:So no, I don't have a 9 to 5 job where I sit in an office all day, but I do have several different jobs on the go at once.
Speaker B:I am often here, there and everywhere.
Speaker B:I'm in my car, I'm going here, I'm going there, I'm going everywhere.
Speaker B:So it might be a matter of getting up that little bit earlier and getting shopping done before I've got to go to work or I've got to be somewhere.
Speaker B:These days with supermarkets opening times, there's not really an excuse for saying, oh.
Speaker D:Well, I couldn't get to the supermarket.
Speaker C:Before it closed, plenty of 24 hour ones there.
Speaker B:So there's always a way around it.
Speaker B:And there's just a matter of prioritizing what needs to be done and planning it out.
Speaker B:And that's all I think it comes down to.
Speaker B:For me, it's just looking at my next day or two ahead of time, sometimes even my next week, and figuring out how I'm going to fit everything in.
Speaker B:Now sometimes shit happens and it doesn't.
Speaker D:Work out the way I planned it.
Speaker B:And it's just life.
Speaker B:But I adjust on the fly and I figure things out as I go along.
Speaker B:I can say I've never found myself in a situation where I've run out of food and I literally have nothing and just it's the same thing where I've found myself.
Speaker B:Maybe I found myself in a situation where I literally cannot get to the gym today when I had planned to, but that's the benefit of having a program that means that I don't have to be somewhere at a very set time all the time.
Speaker B:So I can switch it out one day and say you know what?
Speaker B:I, I can't do my cardio today for X, Y, Z. I'm going to go for a walk instead.
Speaker B:I'm going to get up early before I've got to go to work or I've got to be somewhere, I've got to be at a meeting and I'm going to have breakfast after breakfast and I'm going to go for a walk.
Speaker B:So it's just organizing my day.
Speaker B:So if shit happens and I need to switch some things around, I can.
Speaker B:But I've got an idea of how my next couple of days are looking ahead of time, that's how I deal with it.
Speaker B:It's obviously different for every person.
Speaker B:The most important thing when it comes to time is not to panic.
Speaker B:A lot of people just panic and say, well, I don't have the time.
Speaker B:And that's just it.
Speaker B:Well, if something goes wrong in your day, relax, don't panic, Think it through clearly and come up with other options.
Speaker B:Do you have anything else to add on that?
Speaker D:Matt?
Speaker C:When it comes to the whole idea of time, do I have the time to do all this stuff I need to do?
Speaker C:Question number one is am I worth slicing out the time for?
Speaker C:Hell fucking yes I am.
Speaker C:So I'm proud to say I am selfish and self centered when it comes to this.
Speaker C:So I plan what I do in terms of my work around having to do certain things like I've got to go and get a training session in, I've got to cook up certain foods, I've got to go do the shopping if it's my turn to do the shopping, for example, it's like a top priority.
Speaker C:I'm a top priority in my life now.
Speaker C:If I had kids, of course they're going to be the top priority and I'm going to be right there with them.
Speaker C:You know what I mean?
Speaker C:Because in the end, when it comes to this, whether for example, I've got kids or not, who's going to do this for me?
Speaker C:No one.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker C:So for me the first big question is am I worth the investment?
Speaker C:And that's, I think that goes beyond time, I think that goes into money as well.
Speaker C:Am I worth the time investment?
Speaker C:Am I worth the financial investment?
Speaker C:Like I can't afford a gym membership.
Speaker C:Fucking I'll spend my last $10 on a gym membership because I'm worth it and the outcome is worth it to me.
Speaker C:I have a rule, a simple rule in life which is whenever you say yes to something, you must say no to something else.
Speaker C:So we've all got that whole 24 hours in a day.
Speaker C:We all know this and we keep saying yes, yes, yes to all these other competing interests.
Speaker C:Something else has to give.
Speaker C:Now with most people I've noticed that I've worked with, the thing that gives is them.
Speaker C:So I'm going to sacrifice my own wellbeing for A, B, C, D, E. Me personally, I just don't do that.
Speaker C:So let's say, for example, tomorrow we have to do our leg session at the gym.
Speaker C:Now if someone said to me, oh, Matt, can we have a meeting or can we have a chat at whatever that particular time is going to be, say 8 o' clock in the morning, I'm going to say no, I'm going to schedule around that.
Speaker C:That's just how I work.
Speaker C:So I just will put myself ahead of it because I know if I have to do something, for example, work related, it will be there when I get back.
Speaker C:Or if you ask me to do a favor, if Courtney says to me, oh, Matt, can you do, can you do ABC for me?
Speaker C:If it's not life or death and it can wait, I'll do it when I'm done.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's just prioritizing then, isn't it?
Speaker F:It is.
Speaker B:I mean, prioritizing yourself is what you're saying.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker F:That's exactly what it is.
Speaker C:So I don't want to oversimplify.
Speaker F:I just put my.
Speaker C:And have for a long time now put myself at the top of the pile.
Speaker C:I've noticed over the years and it's been a while since this has been an issue because I've realized it whenever I've slacked off, it's when I put other things ahead of me.
Speaker C:So I don't let that happen because I'm worth it.
Speaker C:Because as far as I know, this is the only body I've got, the only life I'm going to live.
Speaker C:I'm going to get the most out of it and I'm going to get the most out of it in the best shape and health and frame of mind that I can.
Speaker C:So if you ask me who are the five most important people in my life, I'm going to be one of those five.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker C:All right, lucky last.
Speaker C:What's the last one?
Speaker B:Confusion, slash, don't know where to start, slash noise.
Speaker B:We just thought we'd put them all in there because they all sort of the same thing.
Speaker C:It's all the same thing.
Speaker C:So a lot of people struggle with motivation because there is so much information out there when it comes to weight Loss.
Speaker C:We said it before, we'll say it again.
Speaker C:Google weight loss and look at how many hits you get back and how many different methods you get.
Speaker B:Well, just look at your social media.
Speaker B:Look at even the tv.
Speaker B:Look how many weight loss products or weight loss programs, they're advertised on the tv on social media.
Speaker B:Every celebrity now comes out with their own weight loss program.
Speaker B:Really, you've got everything from athletes to celebrities coming out with their own weight loss programs or their weight loss methods of how they've done it or, you know, all these sort of things.
Speaker B:And, and a lot of the time they're the face of it.
Speaker B:But they've got nutritionists and they've got trainers actually writing the programs and writing the diet plans.
Speaker B:Most of them come with actual diet plans.
Speaker B:So it's all very confusing and it's a lot of.
Speaker B:It's very glitz and glamour and, you know, has all these promises and all this sort of stuff.
Speaker B:And often short term, often short term, again, they've all got generally start and end D. And it's just, it can be really confusing about who to go with.
Speaker B:You know, some people might be listening to us right now thinking, oh, I think you guys are full of shit.
Speaker B:We are, but that's fine.
Speaker C:But that's true.
Speaker B:There is a lot of stuff out there and there's for you, for every individual.
Speaker B:I've had people come up to me and say, yeah, but I've done this diet and it worked for me.
Speaker B:That's great for you, and I hope you can sustain that for the rest of your life.
Speaker D:Awesome.
Speaker B:So sometimes these things do work for certain people, but it's a minefield out there.
Speaker B:And when you've made the decision to change and you're trying something, the last.
Speaker D:Thing that you need is for people.
Speaker B:To be coming up to you saying, well, why are you doing that?
Speaker C:Why are you having carbs?
Speaker B:Why are you doing that?
Speaker C:You're having too much protein.
Speaker B:We were going to invite you out for dinner, but we didn't because we didn't think you were going to be able to eat it.
Speaker C:Why do you lift weights?
Speaker D:You're going to get big and bulky.
Speaker B:You're going to look like a boy.
Speaker C:You need to detox.
Speaker B:Why are you exercising when you're in holidays?
Speaker B:Relax, eat whatever you like.
Speaker D:You're on holidays.
Speaker C:Why don't you take this supplement?
Speaker B:There's a lot out there.
Speaker C:There's a lot of fucking noise out there.
Speaker C:And often the big issue here of these three things is really, it leads to.
Speaker C:I don't know where to start because it's very easy to second guess yourself.
Speaker C:Now.
Speaker C:I'll take the lead on this one.
Speaker C:I found for myself there's two ways that really help overcome this one, and this is probably the hardest one is keeping a focus on what you're doing and giving it time.
Speaker C:I think that also probably ties into expectations.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:The big one as well, I actually think, is the support network.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:So who are you aligning yourself with?
Speaker C:So I know, for example, whenever Courtney and I are working with a client, we always tell them, you need to listen to us and you need to trust us.
Speaker C:If they don't trust us, honestly, get out.
Speaker B:Well, you're going to waste your time and your money and you're going to waste our time.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker B:Because it will lead to disaster.
Speaker B:Unquestionably.
Speaker C:Yeah, it does.
Speaker C:So I. I think your support network and who you align yourself with is critical.
Speaker C:So generally, an easy recommendation is if you're going to have a support network or you're going to, for example, work with people, make them people who have done what you want to do and you can relate to them and vice versa, there needs to be a little bit of empathy there.
Speaker C:So let's take me, let's say take me, you know, a few years ago, I want to turn my whole life around and not be heavily obese and very unhealthy.
Speaker C:A role model for me wouldn't be an Olympic marathon runner.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:An endurance athlete, or, you know, a.
Speaker C:Role model for me will be someone who has walked in the shoes that I've walked in and walked down the path I want to walk down.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:I think with this, who you align yourself with is critical.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker B:Because again, we're talking about not relying on motivation.
Speaker B:And I think a lot of people do that when they're saying, I need to start, you know, losing weight or I want to do this, but I'm just not motivated yet, so I haven't started.
Speaker B:So also remember, when it comes to starting something, not only do you need to look at who you're aligning yourself with, you need to also forget the fact that you are going to be.
Speaker D:Motivated to do it.
Speaker B:It's just not going to happen.
Speaker B:It's just like waiting for the right time to do anything.
Speaker B:It's like waiting for the right time to move house or waiting for the right time to have a child or, you know, all this sort of stuff.
Speaker B:Most people will tell you there's no right time to do all this sort of stuff.
Speaker B:You can't predict what's going to happen in the future.
Speaker B:So if you're committed and you're ready to make a change, then now is the right time.
Speaker B:Motivation or no motivation.
Speaker B:Because motivation, even if you've got it at the start, it's not going to last long.
Speaker C:Now, the bloom does come off the rose when you start something new.
Speaker C:So the first couple of weeks, oh, this is very exciting.
Speaker C:And then it becomes work.
Speaker B:It's like the honeymoon period at the start.
Speaker B:You're starting something new.
Speaker B:It's like starting a new job.
Speaker B:It's all exciting.
Speaker B:And then the realistic nature of what you're doing kicks in.
Speaker B:And it's hard.
Speaker B:Work hurts.
Speaker B:You know, you.
Speaker B:You're stepping outside your comfort zone.
Speaker B:You're developing a new normal in your life.
Speaker D:And it's.
Speaker B:I mean, it's hard.
Speaker B:Like, you know the old saying, if it wasn't hard.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Everybody would do it and we would have no one overweight in the entire.
Speaker C:World and we'd be out of a job.
Speaker B:But that is incorrect.
Speaker B:It's very easy to put on weight for a lot of people.
Speaker B:Not for everyone, but for a lot of people, it is incredibly easy to put on weight.
Speaker B:I am one of those people.
Speaker C:I would say for anyone listening to our podcast ever, it's easy for them to put on weight.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker B:In saying that it is very hard to lose weight.
Speaker C:Yeah, it is.
Speaker C:It can be hard because the focus is on the wrong areas.
Speaker C:There's confusion.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:So I do agree.
Speaker C:When it comes to, you know, I don't know where to start.
Speaker C:Talk to someone.
Speaker B:Yep, 100%.
Speaker C:Talk to someone who's walked the same path that you want to walk and trust the process.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Help you got, Help guide you through it.
Speaker C:I know for me, whenever I've second guessed myself along the way, and I have plenty of times, there's people I would talk to to help refocus.
Speaker C:And often for us, we talk to each other.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, you and I, Matt, we do talk to each other.
Speaker B:I've got a few very close friends that also are in the process or have been in the process of changing their body shape.
Speaker B:And I'll catch up for breakfast and come out of that breakfast for a good chat with one of those close friends of mine with, like, a whole new perspective on a couple of things.
Speaker B:And it's just been really nice to have a chat with someone who's either going through at the same time as me or has been through a hundred percent about who you surround yourself with.
Speaker C:It's Amazing what communication does.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And just talking about it.
Speaker B:I hope this has really been helpful.
Speaker B:I hope you take out of the fact that we just went through those five categories that have where people bring up to us the most and relate it to motivation.
Speaker B:Now, we just talked about those five categories and we barely mentioned motivation at all.
Speaker B:Because the way Matt and I deal with each of those things has nothing to do with whether we're motivated or not.
Speaker C:It does have something to do with.
Speaker E:It, but it's more.
Speaker C:We don't focus on the issue of motivation.
Speaker C:We focus on what we're doing to work around it.
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:That is a better way to make.
Speaker C:It a non factor.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So I hope that you are able to get something from that.
Speaker B:Please contact us via email@the weightlosspodcast.com welcome.
Speaker A:To the Weight Loss Podcast Mega Episode.
Speaker D:Second story about why it's about more than just weight loss.
Speaker E:My name is Matt.
Speaker E:With me here is Courtney.
Speaker D:Hello.
Speaker C:We're here to discuss why it's about.
Speaker E:More than just weight loss as a continuation of this fine season.
Speaker E:Courtney, what do we mean by it's about more than just weight loss?
Speaker E:You decide.
Speaker C:Okay, you know what?
Speaker E:I'm sick of being fat.
Speaker E:I'm sick of being overweight, Sick of being unhealthy.
Speaker C:Whatever.
Speaker E:Decide to make a change.
Speaker E:Decide to sign up for something.
Speaker E:Oh, I've got a new personal trainer.
Speaker C:I've started with a new weight loss program.
Speaker E:I've gone to the gym.
Speaker C:Great, well done.
Speaker E:And you think to yourself, cool, I'm going to do this and this and this, and I'm going to lose all this weight and I'm going to live happily ever after.
Speaker E:But unfortunately, where we start from, so the shape that we're in, the state of our health, be it physical health, the way we look at ourselves actually always related to other things, other problems that either we giving enough credit to, you might say, or in some cases quite honestly are hiding from.
Speaker E:Maybe a strong term, but I'm going to own that.
Speaker E:What do you think?
Speaker D:I agree.
Speaker E:Okay, so I'll take over the show from here, Matt.
Speaker D:Well explained.
Speaker E:Now, this is something that, with the benefit of hindsight, I can certainly relate to because when I think about where I was before I started, the way that I looked, the way that I felt were just symptoms of the real problem, so to speak.
Speaker E:Same with you, Courtney.
Speaker D:Yeah, of course.
Speaker E:So what we've done is Courtney and I have written up a list of things that were either working against us or were contributing to where we were when we first started or we've seen.
Speaker C:With others as well.
Speaker E:Obviously, with what we do for a living, we're exposed to this literally every day of the week with people, and it's a mistake.
Speaker E:I've seen a lot of people make, Courtney, and you listening that you can tell yourself, I'm just signing up for weight loss.
Speaker E:But there is so much more that has to go into it that leads to the success we're looking for with that.
Speaker E:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker E:So let's say, for example, you are someone who continually puts others first, which, to be fair, I think most people, if you aren't prepared, for example, to address that, how are you reasonably going to expect to address?
Speaker E:You know, I want to lose X amount of kilos or pounds or X amount of dress sizes.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Like, what else have we got here?
Speaker E:Like, can be simple as a sedentary lifestyle.
Speaker E:So I want to lose X amount of weight, but I don't want to exercise.
Speaker D:Yeah, well, not even using it as an excuse.
Speaker C:I'm not saying there's an excuse, but.
Speaker E:Not being willing to address these things like, hey, these are contributing factors to why I am where I am.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:It's not necessarily an excuse.
Speaker D:It's more.
Speaker D:I think this one comes a lot with people where they just don't prioritize it.
Speaker D:It's just not even seen as a big issue.
Speaker D:So there's too much focus then put on the food, nothing put on the exercise or sometimes even vice versa.
Speaker D:It just becomes everything else in life sort of gets in the way.
Speaker D:Very busy work, putting people first, you.
Speaker E:Know, I'm glad you said that, you said about focus on the food.
Speaker E:Something that triggers me is whenever, and I'm sure you're listening, have either said this yourself or have known plenty that have said it or have seen this said before where people will say, oh, with weight loss, it's all about the food.
Speaker E:And the first thing I think of is, mate, you got fucking no clue.
Speaker E:Not at all.
Speaker E:It's actually all about the habits, because it's the habits that you've got that lead you to where you are.
Speaker E:So with the list that we've got here, Courtney, can you share certain things you've experienced yourself that were holding you back before you even started this?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:And I think for me, when I first started, you were right, Matt.
Speaker D:It was a case of I wanted certain things, but I didn't think that these things were even in the conversation.
Speaker D:So I wanted to lose weight.
Speaker D:I wanted to look better, I wanted to look a certain way.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker E:I want to Be skinny.
Speaker D:But it wasn't even in my thought process at all that I also wanted to work on these sort of things.
Speaker D:So one for me that was really big and I've spoken about it before would be binge eating.
Speaker D:I was a massive binge eater and I think, you know, deep down when you got a really bad binge and emotional eating habit, you know, deep down it was obviously hindering or helping me gain a lot of weight.
Speaker D:So obviously I'd have to work on that to lose the weight, but it wasn't.
Speaker D:You'd think it would be front of mind in those situations, but it's not what was.
Speaker D:I just want to lose weight.
Speaker D:Like, it didn't connect for me that well.
Speaker B:I'd probably have to work on my.
Speaker D:Binge eating habit or my emotional eating habit to be able to lose weight.
Speaker D:You sort of know it's a problem.
Speaker D:But I didn't connect it as you just sort of think to yourself where I did.
Speaker D:Where, okay, I'm just going to go down this new path.
Speaker E:That is a tremendous way of putting it in terms of not making the connection that's.
Speaker E:You should have done the intro to this show.
Speaker D:So definitely emotional and binge eating was one of mine that I can definitely relate to.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:We just spoke about exercise.
Speaker D:I did not value exercise.
Speaker D:I knew it would be a part of weight loss, but I didn't value how important it was.
Speaker E:Elaborate on that.
Speaker D:Well, I would go to the gym and just go for a walk on the treadmill and I knew that obviously wasn't helping me.
Speaker D:So I knew I'd have to do more.
Speaker C:I should mention there is a place.
Speaker E:For that, but none of that's your primary form of exercise.
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker D:So I knew I was going to have to do more, but I definitely didn't understand the role of proper structured.
Speaker E:Training by the sounds of it.
Speaker D:No idea.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker D:I thought to myself at the time, I thought it might do a boot camp.
Speaker D:You know, I do some group training.
Speaker F:When the last time you heard the.
Speaker E:Term boot camp get thrown around?
Speaker B:That was everywhere.
Speaker B:That was everywhere when I first started.
Speaker E:Everything and everyone needs to be, oh, come to my boot camp.
Speaker D:If boot camp was it.
Speaker E:That's kind of a retro fitness term.
Speaker D:Everyone was doing boot camps.
Speaker D:There was the biggest thing.
Speaker D:And I thought at the time that was the big thing.
Speaker B:Everyone was doing boot camp.
Speaker E:That is Trevor.
Speaker F:It was.
Speaker B:And I thought that that, you know.
Speaker D:Might have something to do with that.
Speaker D:So definitely that one.
Speaker B:Most of this list, to be honest.
Speaker D:With you, that we've Put together I can sort of relate to in some way.
Speaker C:Let's go.
Speaker C:What do you think about the weight.
Speaker E:Loss podcast boot camp down the track.
Speaker D:I guess the one that I personally don't relate to, but it's a really big one that we see all the time, would be poor support network or poor support circle.
Speaker D:I was lucky enough to have a very supportive support network, very supportive family, very supportive friends.
Speaker F:Absolutely.
Speaker E:Not always the case, unfortunately.
Speaker B:No, not always the case.
Speaker E:I'm not gonna l. Whenever I hear, like, from clients of ours or just people that we speak to talking about.
Speaker E:There's no other way to put it than this being sabotaged.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:By those around them.
Speaker E:Just because I know how hard enough this is to work on these things we're going to be talking about without people.
Speaker E:Immediate circle.
Speaker E:Sometimes unfortunately, deliberately.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And sometimes still not deliberately, but still impactful kind of working against us.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:That one we see definitely a lot.
Speaker D:And it can be really big.
Speaker D:Obviously, if someone's dealing with this poor support network, they're going into weight loss.
Speaker D:Most people that have a poor support network don't realize they have one until they try to change.
Speaker D:So often they'll go into I just want to lose weight.
Speaker D:Thinking, obviously to them losing weight is the biggest problem.
Speaker D:We're just going to lose weight because they don't realize that their support network is terrible.
Speaker D:That is something that crops up along the way.
Speaker D:And that's one of the ones that takes a lot of time and patience.
Speaker E:To change, but also can take some very, very tough confronting decisions and sometimes ruthless decisions.
Speaker D:And you know what, when you talk about this particular topic.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:It's a prime one that changes your life outside of just weight loss.
Speaker D:Because if those sort of toxic people in your support network that are sabotaging basically what you're trying to do, making changes in that area and really focusing on that area, that changes more than just weight loss.
Speaker E:It does open up more doors.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:That takes a lot of pressure off people in life in a lot of other ways.
Speaker D:So that's a really massive one, which I was, again, touchwood.
Speaker D:I was lucky enough not to have.
Speaker D:The other one that we is on our list is a poor relationship with food and exercise.
Speaker F:Yeah, with exercise.
Speaker E:We won't touch on that too much because as a matter of fact, we did such an episode in this very season about your relationship with exercise.
Speaker E:But, yeah, definitely a factor.
Speaker E:But also obviously the relationship with food is a big factor as well.
Speaker E:We've spoken about before with things like justification.
Speaker E:You know, I've been Good.
Speaker F:I do.
Speaker F:I deserve this.
Speaker E:I've gone to the gym.
Speaker E:I've earned this.
Speaker E:Or, oh, I just ate that.
Speaker E:Better go and work it off.
Speaker E:But also, we can go deeper than that, obviously, without getting too hardcore into it.
Speaker E:But, you know, things like using food as medication.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:As a way to hide from things.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:And this is where a lot of.
Speaker D:This comes up through once you really make that decision to change.
Speaker D:Because often people eat unconsciously.
Speaker D:People have a poor relationship with food where they don't actually realize it often as well.
Speaker E:Well, that's the thing as well.
Speaker E:Like, just that a lot of these things we're talking about and we'll be talking about here, a lot of them, you won't realize you've got them until you start to work on changing yourself and then you start to come up against these walls.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Along the way, more preparing yourself for things to come.
Speaker E:I've explained to people that with a successful weight loss journey and there's always gonna be ups and downs, but it's kind of a series of evolving challenges and evolving problems.
Speaker E:And there's some problems that you won't face until you've leveled up enough to get to that stage.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:So you look, for example, say we've got on here, like, sedentary lifestyle.
Speaker E:That is an early problem most people will face.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Someone who's a bit more advanced, for example, might come up against their sleep patterns, holding them back.
Speaker E:Because if someone is fairly overweight, it actually isn't too hard to get them to start losing weight.
Speaker E:Like, hey, let's get off your butt.
Speaker E:Let's get moving a little bit.
Speaker E:Let's start to, you know, focus on rule of proximity, choices that you're making in the kitchen and what you're Preparing for yourself, etc.
Speaker E:Doesn't take much to get into change.
Speaker E:But then you start to come up against issues where it's like, okay, you've advanced a bit more now.
Speaker E:You've gone past that stage.
Speaker E:You're now at the next stage where this is the thing that's working against you.
Speaker E:Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Okay, let's just go into the next one.
Speaker D:Negative self talk and self belief.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker E:How can you expect a change if you're telling yourself you're not going to.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:This is something that I can personally.
Speaker C:Relate to a hell of a lot.
Speaker E:Where you tell yourself, well, this is how it's meant to be.
Speaker E:This is how you're meant to be.
Speaker E:You're always going to be this way, like, well, of course your actions are going to reflect that.
Speaker E:It's something that you said, Courtney, in the episode we recorded about yourself with where you were versus where you are now.
Speaker E:You said, how will you get away from being the fat person if you keep thinking and acting like the fat person?
Speaker E:That's the same thing with this.
Speaker E:You tell yourself, well, this is how you're going to be.
Speaker E:Well, your actions are going to reflect that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And that's not for me to sit here and say, oh, well, you know, just tell yourself, have some belief, and it all goes from there.
Speaker E:That's not magical.
Speaker D:I wish.
Speaker E:But it is worth calling out that if you keep telling yourself that you're going to be a certain way, like you'll make that happen.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And that is absolutely something to work on over time.
Speaker E:Because one of my favorite phrases is fake it till you make it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And sometimes, especially in the situation of that, you got to fake it till you make it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:You mentioned poor support network.
Speaker E:You mentioned binge and emotional eating.
Speaker E:I'll bring up the next one, which is massive stress.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Stress alone can undermine and sink the entire thing.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:I've seen people where they consistent as you could ever ask with their training and they prepare fantastic food for themselves and their eating habits that they build and develop.
Speaker E:You can't really ask for more, but they are stressed up to their fucking eyeballs.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Be it from work, family, self pressure, and it can sink the whole ship by itself.
Speaker E:I've seen people not change because everything they're doing from a technical perspective, like I said, training, food habits, et cetera, on the money.
Speaker E:But they're so fucking stressed day in, day out.
Speaker E:Their bodies reflect it and they don't change.
Speaker E:And I've seen it with, with people where if that's the first thing they work on, like let's look at ways to de stress or manage the stress we've got in our lives in more healthy, productive ways.
Speaker E:That alone can be a catalyst to fucking massive improvement and massive change.
Speaker D:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker D:I suffered from stress anxiety for a long time.
Speaker E:Where did your major stresses come from that you think have worked against you with this?
Speaker D:I think before I started, I used to stress out a lot about anything and everything, social situations.
Speaker D:Work was a big stressor for me.
Speaker D:I used to worry what people thought, what people would say, like literally everything.
Speaker D:And I just don't think that I really saw it as a big enough problem as what I should have seen it when I was younger and even before I really trying properly to lose weight, I think I never connected that as Ever being a problem.
Speaker D:I never really factored in how stress affects the body and how stress was affecting my attitude towards food.
Speaker D:Honestly, never occurred to me at all.
Speaker D:I just put it down to emotional eating or binge eating.
Speaker D:Happy, sad, that's it.
Speaker D:So it was never a connection for me.
Speaker D:And I think throughout even my adult life, I think that I've triggered stress more so from work trying to take.
Speaker E:On too much, saying yes to too many things.
Speaker E:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker F:Yes.
Speaker D:Tends to be a trigger for me.
Speaker D:And there's still different things, social situations, work situations that still cause me stress.
Speaker D:So there's always going to be stress.
Speaker D:I don't think you're not going to ever have stress again.
Speaker E:That's delusional.
Speaker E:I think it's more about ways to manage.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Unavoidable stress.
Speaker D:The length of the impact can have on your body.
Speaker C:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker C:For me, because I dealt with that a lot.
Speaker E:The stress I would cause myself from making mistakes and thinking that whatever I was doing, I had to get it right or nail it.
Speaker E:And then because we're all human, especially when you need to things.
Speaker E:Well, of course you're going to make mistakes.
Speaker E:That's part of learning.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:But at the time, the pressure I was putting on myself was, oh, we.
Speaker C:Got to get it right.
Speaker E:You can't fuck it up and then you make a mistake.
Speaker E:Oh, you're fucking shit.
Speaker F:You're a fuck up.
Speaker C:You're a failure at life.
Speaker E:And it just would stew in my head for days and days and days.
Speaker E:Even down to I would stress I've had with people.
Speaker E:Oh, I should have said this, I should have done that.
Speaker E:Oh, not healthy, not productive.
Speaker E:Because it is human nature to kind.
Speaker C:Of stress yourself out.
Speaker E:And I actually see this from a stress perspective with people that are working with us that kind of will put pressure on themselves to, oh, well, I've got to start to get everything right now from day one.
Speaker E:One.
Speaker E:No, you don't.
Speaker E:To know you won't.
Speaker C:Yeah, I see it a lot with.
Speaker E:People that when they first start their journey that the amount of pressure they put on themselves, to quote unquote, get it right from the start, leads to unnecessary levels of stress and anxiety.
Speaker E:Because to me, you're setting the bar so high, like you're not going to get there to begin with.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker E:Do you want to be striving towards.
Speaker C:That sort of level of excellence?
Speaker F:Absolutely.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:You can get it there from day one.
Speaker E:Like no chance in hell.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker E:And that can really screw people up.
Speaker E:I've seen that lead to people unraveling yeah.
Speaker E:Because it's like, I get it right from day one.
Speaker E:I've got to do this and this.
Speaker C:And this and this, and I can't.
Speaker E:Afford to make any mistakes.
Speaker C:And oh, fuck, something went wrong.
Speaker E:It all just goes to hell from there.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Your farm.
Speaker E:How are you now with stress and anxiety compared to where you were?
Speaker D:Yeah, I feel like I still definitely have go through bouts of having my stress levels be higher than they should be.
Speaker C:Can I give an example of something.
Speaker F:That I see you stress out about.
Speaker E:A lot that's kind of cute and kind of funny, but does do your head in.
Speaker E:I just want to share this with the.
Speaker E:With the person listening.
Speaker E:Courtney freaks out when she thinks she's forgotten to lock the door.
Speaker C:You know what, though?
Speaker D:Part of who we are, it is an anxiety trigger.
Speaker E:I freak out when I think I've left something turned on.
Speaker D:Yep.
Speaker E:Like the tv.
Speaker E:You know how sometimes you think you can see the TV and the TVs like the black screen and you think you've turned it off and then you.
Speaker C:Realize when you go to press the.
Speaker E:Button to turn it back on, like, oh, no, it's actually.
Speaker E:It's been on the entire time.
Speaker E:That's my head in.
Speaker D:Oh, really?
Speaker F:Yep.
Speaker D:Yeah, no, my head in.
Speaker D:Making sure things are locked is definitely an anxiety trigger for me.
Speaker D:So car, house, roll it all, garage, workplace.
Speaker D:Yeah, Definitely all an anxiety trigger for me.
Speaker F:Yep.
Speaker E:Mine relates to things being turned on, but also for me, mess.
Speaker D:Mess is an anxiety trigger for you.
Speaker E:My phrase is mess is stress.
Speaker E:Yes, Courtney, I brought this up to illustrate that even now, with how far along we are, we still have issues that will trigger us.
Speaker E:You always will.
Speaker D:You know, we're not gonna anxiety ticks that you've got that sort of set you off.
Speaker D:Everyone does.
Speaker F:We're not going to sit here and.
Speaker C:Say like, oh, you can get rid.
Speaker F:Of all this stuff.
Speaker E:Like, no, you can't.
Speaker E:You get better at dealing with it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:And then same thing with general stress.
Speaker D:Another anxiety trigger for me is lateness.
Speaker D:I don't like being late because I plan out my time and my day, and if I'm late to the one thing, it might be irrelevant, but then.
Speaker B:It'S a flow on effect.
Speaker C:But I get like that.
Speaker E:For example, like I am major, major, major trigger if I think we're going to be even close to being late for a flight.
Speaker D:Oh, yeah, you got very angry.
Speaker F:Lose my mind.
Speaker D:But the point is, yes, we still get very stressed and anxious.
Speaker D:The mental health discussion now is very different to what it was when I.
Speaker E:Was 18 and I would say for the better.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:And it was not highlighted.
Speaker D:It wasn't something that 18 year old me would have thought of.
Speaker E:Back when I was 18, mental health wasn't on the radar, certainly not like it is now.
Speaker E:But then looking back in hindsight for me and failing most people like mental health is physical health.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:Shift work.
Speaker B:So I wouldn't call myself a shift worker.
Speaker D:I worked in hospitality.
Speaker D:But I definitely had some weird hours so I could work, you know, a 12 hour shift into the early hours of the morning and it wouldn't be uncommon for me to skip a meal.
Speaker F:Yep.
Speaker E:Two or three.
Speaker D:Or just pick instead of actually sitting and having proper meals throughout the shift.
Speaker E:Oh, the grazer.
Speaker D:And then eat.
Speaker B:Maybe when I got home, which would.
Speaker D:Have been maybe like 2 o' clock in the morning.
Speaker D:1 o' clock in the morning.
Speaker D:And then sometimes I was on opening shift the next day.
Speaker D:So I might sleep four hours, get up, go back to work.
Speaker C:So even legal, that's a quick turnaround.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Five hours.
Speaker D:Sometimes I get five hours.
Speaker D:I can function on five hours actually.
Speaker C:For how long?
Speaker D:Oh, just the day.
Speaker D:Just a day.
Speaker D:Definitely wouldn't have considered myself a shift worker just because that wasn't every weekend and it.
Speaker D:And it definitely was only weekends during the week I had regular nine to five hours.
Speaker D:But we see this a lot with shift workers that we've dealt with or we've worked with in the past, haven't we, Matt?
Speaker D:They're constantly doing these really random shifts.
Speaker E:Shift work, shift work is like a bastard.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And when you see especially people that say we'll do shift work in health.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Like say like nurses in hospitals, paramedics, et cetera, like some of the shifts they do and are constantly doing is scary, quite frankly to me the thought of it is terrifying.
Speaker E:So it's like fucking.
Speaker E:I don't know how you do this.
Speaker D:Yep.
Speaker E:Because I know how I function.
Speaker E:When my sleep patterns are a bit wacky dacky, I just fall in a heap and I think to myself, how long can this go on for?
Speaker E:From what I've seen with like shift.
Speaker F:Workers, like there's a, there's a shelf.
Speaker E:Life on how long you can do that.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Before it sort of grinds you down, you know.
Speaker E:But that is again, that can be something that can, that can impact this along the way.
Speaker E:Because, you know, as Courtney sort of spoke about before, it can have an impact on putting food into your body.
Speaker E:And like, contrary to popular belief, what you do have to eat, even if you want to lose weight, you do have to eat.
Speaker F:That's what.
Speaker E:That's the way the body is built.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Don't blame me.
Speaker E:I didn't construct human beings.
Speaker E:It just is what it is.
Speaker E:But it has another flow on effect as well to disrupted sleep patterns, which is the next point, Courtney.
Speaker E:And it's not just shift work.
Speaker E:Like I had disrupted sleep patterns when I was younger and they were disrupted because I stay up all night playing video games and not go to bed till 3am, 4am and then wake up like 10 o', clock, 11 o' clock or midday.
Speaker E:That's not healthy.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker E:And there's a big one here we've got as well.
Speaker E:Courtney is a contributor to what people.
Speaker C:Are, where they are.
Speaker E:Resistance to change.
Speaker E:That's a big one.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:So I think that this one's really important because as we talk about, you know, you make the decision you want to lose weight, and then we feel like, okay, that's just our biggest.
Speaker D:Now that's our biggest problem.
Speaker C:But my biggest problem is I'm fat.
Speaker C:I'll fix that.
Speaker D:When we're talking about all these things, the resistance to change is a really big one because people might think, well, no one would make the decision to lose weight if they're resistant to change.
Speaker E:Wrong.
Speaker D:You would think so.
Speaker F:Wrong.
Speaker C:Wrong.
Speaker B:You would be wrong.
Speaker E:Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Speaker F:Like, you cannot be more wrong.
Speaker B:This happens all the time.
Speaker E:Depressingly enough, it happens more often than it does not.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Very easy to see when people are resistant to change.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:This is a really, really big one to be worked on.
Speaker D:And again, it can be worked on.
Speaker B:People can change.
Speaker C:Well, with pun intended course with that one.
Speaker E:I think the biggest thing to work on with resistance to change is owning it.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Like, fuck, I am hamstringing myself with this.
Speaker D:I don't like change.
Speaker D:I personally don't love change.
Speaker D:I don't love learning new things.
Speaker D:I'm not someone who enjoys being a beginner and learning new habits, learning new skills.
Speaker E:I don't think that is abnormal.
Speaker E:I.
Speaker C:We all like our comfort zones.
Speaker E:We all like our routines.
Speaker E:You know, that's totally understandable.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:With the context of what we're talking about here.
Speaker E:Like, if you want to change, you have to change.
Speaker E:And that really ties in to the other things we've spoken about here.
Speaker E:Like, hey, you want to look different, you want to feel different, then a few things, you do need to be different as well.
Speaker B:And I think it really ties in.
Speaker D:Then with the tips where we're going to start giving now.
Speaker F:Well, before we Do.
Speaker E:I don't want to just gloss over this just yet.
Speaker E:But with being resistant to change, in what ways have you been resistant to change as far as weight loss goes?
Speaker E:Because I can give some examples.
Speaker D:Personally, mine would be things like.
Speaker D:Probably more related to the food.
Speaker C:Well, it's all about the food, isn't it?
Speaker D:Good for me to sort of.
Speaker D:I wouldn't say easy to pick up because easy is not the right word, but mentally, probably it was easy for me to adapt to the exercise, even though physically it was very challenging.
Speaker D:Still is very challenging.
Speaker D:I don't like exercise, but I think is that so most people listening to this would think that would have been mentally the harder one for me to.
Speaker B:Get my head around.
Speaker D:But even though I didn't like it, I think from the beginning it made sense.
Speaker D:It's structured.
Speaker D:It wasn't too much for me to do in a week.
Speaker D:It was the right amount and I could visually clearly see the benefits.
Speaker B:So even though I didn't like it.
Speaker D:Mentally, it was very easy for me to get my head around.
Speaker D:You bought in and I just did it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:Whereas the food for me definitely has been.
Speaker D:There's some.
Speaker D:Been some resistance to change.
Speaker E:So in what ways?
Speaker D:Well, always been a bit of a fussy eater, so trying new things, cooking up new recipes, that's been definitely a challenge for me.
Speaker D:Recording what I'm doing.
Speaker D:Those two things would definitely be probably my biggest resistant points.
Speaker D:What about you?
Speaker E:For me, it's all of the times accepting certain things that I do or certain habits that I've had have not served me.
Speaker E:So the first, earliest example is similar to Courtney, where I was open to exercise, didn't necessarily enjoy it, and I was afraid of being seen in public.
Speaker E:But I saw.
Speaker C:I valued the role of exercise because.
Speaker E:I thought that's all it was.
Speaker E:I exercise, I'll lose weight.
Speaker E:So the first resistance that I had was working on my habits when I was not exercising, because I built the.
Speaker C:Habits up of exercise.
Speaker E:No problem at all, probably to my detriment because I was doing too much.
Speaker E:But the resistance would be, well, I'll just go home and just eat what I was always eating.
Speaker E:So, yeah, ice cream and chips and chocolate and junk food.
Speaker C:Well, I've exercised.
Speaker E:It's fine now.
Speaker E:And that's where the first resistance was.
Speaker E:But then over time, you get more and more resistances.
Speaker E:So I've had bouts where, like, I could be a grazer.
Speaker E:Oh, I have some of this and I'll have some of that.
Speaker E:And we call it the one bite.
Speaker E:Won't hurt mentality.
Speaker C:It adds up.
Speaker E:If then part of the resistance to change is getting to the stage where you are prepared to go, you know what?
Speaker E:This shit's not helping.
Speaker E:This shit's not serving.
Speaker E:Am I going to do something about it?
Speaker E:And for a lot of people, the resistance to change just stops them in their tracks.
Speaker C:One of the.
Speaker E:One of my favorite sayings ever is you won't solve your problems with the same thinking used to create them.
Speaker E:And that really does apply with this.
Speaker E:And as part of improvement is constantly breaking down these sort of barriers and resistances.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:And I think resistance to change in particular can kind of sum up almost every other point we've made on this episode so far.
Speaker E:Because you do need to be willing to go, you know what?
Speaker E:This shit's not helping.
Speaker E:I'm not comfortable talking about this.
Speaker E:I'm not comfortable admitting this.
Speaker E:But it is what it is and.
Speaker C:I want to improve enough where I.
Speaker E:Will face this down.
Speaker D:I agree.
Speaker D:It does sum up.
Speaker D:I think, though, as an overview is still really important to make sure you're going into weight loss with the right frame of mind.
Speaker D:And that's really ultimately what this episode was about, which is don't walk into weight loss then thinking that weight loss is your biggest problem.
Speaker E:No, it's a symptom of the real disease or diseases.
Speaker D:I think that another way to really look at it is thinking, well, gaining weight isn't my biggest problem.
Speaker D:There was things that contributed to me gaining weight.
Speaker D:So gaining weight isn't my biggest problem.
Speaker D:It's what led to me gaining weight.
Speaker D:Well, then losing weight isn't your biggest problem.
Speaker D:It's what's going to help you lose the weight.
Speaker E:When you get to the stage where you look at it the way Courtney just spoke about it becomes kind of profound.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Because that there is a very healthy, productive way to look at this.
Speaker E:You've just got to get to the stage where it's like, no, that's.
Speaker E:That is what this is.
Speaker E:Especially if you are approaching this from a long term perspective.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I think that it's really easy.
Speaker D:To get in that mindset like I spoke about earlier, of, well, you've made the decision to lose weight.
Speaker D:We just start a new path.
Speaker D:It's easy to get in that mindset because the path that got you to be the weight you're at was obviously shit.
Speaker D:And you recognize that.
Speaker D:You recognize the fact that the path that got you to be the weight you are and so unhappy has been shit.
Speaker D:So it makes sense to us that we would just make the decision to change.
Speaker D:We start a new path.
Speaker D:However, the whole point of this episode has been that the problems that you had will follow you.
Speaker D:They're going to follow you down your new path.
Speaker E:That's a great way of putting it.
Speaker D:The best thing to do is just to get your head around it from the beginning that unfortunately, like it or not, and you're not going to like it, but you're going to have to work on the things that got you to be overweight in the first place in order to reverse it.
Speaker D:There's no magic fix.
Speaker D:There's no magic new path.
Speaker D:Unfortunately, it's a matter of backtracking your steps and working on all the shit things that helped you get to where you are.
Speaker C:Hit the nail on the head.
Speaker C:There are many issues that you've got.
Speaker E:Things that work against you.
Speaker C:Bad habits like beliefs, whatever, that you.
Speaker E:May never be rid of.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:But you may be a hell of a lot better at managing them so they're less destructive.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker E:Like, Courtney's still a stress head.
Speaker E:Courtney still suffers from anxiety.
Speaker E:Nowhere near as bad as she used to.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker E:Same with me.
Speaker E:I still have my triggers that will just send me, like, around the twist, but they are few and far between.
Speaker E:I think I get over them rather quickly because I also know with me, like, I have outlets for those things.
Speaker E:Just to reiterate, like, it's not a race.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Weight Loss Podcast mega episode third story about the superpowers you need to succeed.
Speaker F:Hello and welcome back to the Weight Loss podcast.
Speaker F:You are listening to the dulcet tones of Matt.
Speaker F:Oh, Lord, that is me.
Speaker F:With me, as you can hear in the background, there is my wonderful co host and even more wonderful wife, Courtney.
Speaker D:Oh, thank you.
Speaker F:I turned you around pretty quick.
Speaker D:That's nice.
Speaker F:Thank you.
Speaker F:You're welcome.
Speaker F:We are here to discuss the most necessary superpowers that you need to succeed.
Speaker F:And when I say superpowers, no, I'm not talking about the ability to fly or telepathy or Jedi mind tricks.
Speaker F:Talking about actual real life superpowers.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:So Courtney and I have got together, which is pretty handy since we live together.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Worked out well.
Speaker C:Was easy.
Speaker F:Just walked in the next room and there you are.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:And we have individually come up with a list of superpowers each that we are going to individually talk about.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:From our own perspectives because there are some double ups.
Speaker F:But I wanted both of us to talk about them anyway because, well, there's.
Speaker F:It's gonna probably sound a bit different coming from me and My experiences and Courtney and her experiences, both of which are very valuable.
Speaker F:So without further ado, Courtney, I'm gonna just lay straight into this.
Speaker F:So obviously, I will start and kick things off.
Speaker F:I have written out my necessary superpowers, and I'm gonna say the first two are the two most important in my mind, personally speaking, in order as well, the most important in my mind.
Speaker F:They're all extremely useful.
Speaker F:But these first two.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:All right.
Speaker F:Number one, you need resilience straight up.
Speaker F:If you can't handle adversity or aren't prepared to show up when things are tough or when you're challenged or when life or people or coaches or whoever challenge you and push back on you, if you're not prepared to show up in those situations, you ain't going to go far.
Speaker F:Yes, it is as simple as that.
Speaker F:The thing is, how well a person goes with their weight loss will not be determined by how they operate.
Speaker F:When things are good or calm or in control or smooth or easy, forget that shit.
Speaker F:Anyone can kick ass during those times.
Speaker F:That's not a measure of a person.
Speaker F:The actual measure of a person is when the chips are down and the universe finds a way of asking you, how much do you really want this?
Speaker F:And that's when you find out for some people, they're as soft as a packet of wet tissues.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:And the moment things get just a little bit hard.
Speaker F:Oh, can't do it like, mate.
Speaker F:That's fine.
Speaker F:You make the choice, you live with the consequence.
Speaker F:Number one for me, with a bullet, easily, resilience.
Speaker F:And I should mention that resilience is not built on good times.
Speaker F:It's built on testing times, on emotionally draining times.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:It's built through those times where you think to yourself, I'm having such a mother f of a day, the last thing I want to do tonight's go to the gym.
Speaker F:Well, guess what?
Speaker F:Those who succeed will get it done no matter what.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:To me, a big part of resilience with this is the ability to do what needs to be done even when you don't feel like doing it.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:That's what will set those who succeed apart from those who do not.
Speaker F:It's the ability to turn up regardless of the circumstance.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:So number one for me, resilience easily.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:Just following that.
Speaker F:Number two is consistency.
Speaker F:Now, that's a word that gets a lot of lip service.
Speaker F:I personally don't think many people know what true consistency actually is.
Speaker F:No, true consistency.
Speaker F:It's not what you do all the time, because that involves this Thing called perfection.
Speaker F:And yeah, good luck with that.
Speaker F:To me, consistency involves what you do most of the time.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:You'll have these people where they might do well for a couple of weeks and then go missing for a couple of weeks.
Speaker F:That's not going to get it done.
Speaker C:Sorry, no.
Speaker F:Hate to be the bearer of bad news or sorry, not sorry.
Speaker F:Shockingly, it's not going to get the job done.
Speaker F:Consistency is that person that more often than not will do, do what's necessary.
Speaker F:And very simply put, if you show me someone who is inconsistent, I will in turn show you someone who's going to be very upset and frustrated by a lack of results in the long term.
Speaker F:It just doesn't work.
Speaker F:Sorry.
Speaker F:These what it is.
Speaker F:I don't make the rules, I just follow them.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:The next one I've got on the list is accountability.
Speaker F:Now, accountability can be towards your trainers, your coach, your family, your friends, but also accountability towards oneself.
Speaker F:Another way of me, for me, saying personal leadership.
Speaker F:And it sort of builds off of resilience and consistency where you've got that personal leadership and accountability, where it's like, no, this is what I'm about to.
Speaker F:This is why I'm about it and I'm going to do what has to happen to facilitate whatever my outcome is going to be.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:The thing is, when you're an adult, like, you can kind of do whatever you want in life, there's a level of personal leadership and accountability required, where if you want to achieve certain things, there's certain things you need to do to make that happen, which may involve like, hey, I've got to take control of my schedule in my life and I've got to make certain things non negotiables if I want to achieve these goals, whatever they might be.
Speaker F:Well, there might be gym required, there might be meal prep required for some people.
Speaker F:Like there might be homework or various tasks.
Speaker F:If you're working with, in a program or with trainers or whatever these things are needed.
Speaker F:But you have to have the personal leadership to put aside the time and put aside the energy to commit to these things.
Speaker F:So accountability is a big one.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:The next one that I've got, Courtney, is honesty.
Speaker F:Honesty is a tough one for a lot of people because it's very easy to pay lip service to words like honesty, because it's very easy to say to someone like myself or Courtney, you know, I struggle with emotional eating and I struggle with my stress response and I struggle with this, this and this.
Speaker F:That's all well and good, but then I've seen people that will say this at one side of the coin, then on the other side when it comes time to actually own up to what they're doing.
Speaker F:For example, send through meal records that are completely perfect and better than mine.
Speaker F:Like, mate, you are not being fucking honest.
Speaker F:No, red flag number one.
Speaker F:When a client sends through a meal record better than my own.
Speaker E:Like, stop, stop, stop.
Speaker F:Honesty with this.
Speaker F:More often than not, it's honesty about when you're struggling or things that you might be confused about, things you might need clarity on or things you might feel you lost.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:On us as individuals, to say to our support network, whoever that might be, like, hey, I'm struggling with X, Y, Z.
Speaker C:Okay, cool.
Speaker F:No problem at all.
Speaker F:We know there's an issue here.
Speaker F:Now what can we do to address this?
Speaker F:An issue I see with a lot of people is that they're willing to talk only when things are going well.
Speaker F:So I call them Good Time Johnny's or Good Time Janes.
Speaker D:Yeah, I think we all like to think ourselves.
Speaker D:If you ask most 99.99% of people, are you an honest person?
Speaker D:Everyone would say, yes, of course I'm an honest person.
Speaker D:We all think of ourselves as honest people.
Speaker D:It's when things aren't going so well that is tested.
Speaker F:Maybe the phrase we're looking for is selectively honest.
Speaker F:Like, yeah, I'm being honest.
Speaker F:Like I hit on my workouts this week and I, I did all my meal prep.
Speaker C:Like fucking high five to me.
Speaker E:Like, great.
Speaker F:How honest are you going to be when you don't have those weeks?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:How honest are you on the weeks where you go missing?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:When we don't hear from you for weeks on end.
Speaker F:What happens during those times is what tells us more about what, what you're doing and how you're going to versus what you're willing to show us.
Speaker F:And that's actually a good way to phrase it.
Speaker F:Like, I know for me, just in my perspective as a coach, I'm more interested in the things a person is not willing to tell us than what they are willing to tell us.
Speaker F:As I said, easy to say the things you're doing well, anyone can toot their own horn.
Speaker F:Not hard.
Speaker F:Tell me the things you don't do well.
Speaker F:Yeah, tell me the times that you struggle with the most.
Speaker F:Tell me what happens when you have a bad day.
Speaker F:Yes, you have a bad day at.
Speaker E:Work or a bad day at school.
Speaker F:Argument with a friend or your partner, whatever.
Speaker F:I want to know what your response is to those situations.
Speaker F:Don't Tell me how good you go when things are nice and easy.
Speaker F:Be honest and tell me how you go when things are real hard.
Speaker F:Honesty is a big one and it's a hard one as well because it is in a lot of cases, very.
Speaker F:Confronting weaknesses is a word other people use.
Speaker F:The phrase lesser strengths is a more.
Speaker C:Positive way to look at that.
Speaker C:But hey, positive way, you got to.
Speaker F:Phase up your weaknesses.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:And it can be a blow to.
Speaker C:The ego, but it's a.
Speaker F:It's necessary.
Speaker F:So honesty is on the list for me.
Speaker F:The next one on my list, Courtney, is long term mindset again.
Speaker F:Another one that is paid plenty of lip service.
Speaker F:A whole lot different to actually living it day in and day out.
Speaker F:And this is one that a lot of people are put to the test too, when it comes to this.
Speaker F:Because it can be very easy to say to people like us, oh, yeah, I'm in it for the long term.
Speaker F:I'm ready to change.
Speaker F:Like, mate, let's see what happens when the rubber meets the road.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:And all of a sudden you might not be changing the way you think you're supposed to be changing.
Speaker F:Like, you may say to people like us, like, yes, I know it's a long term thing.
Speaker F:I know it takes time.
Speaker F:And then six weeks later, I'm not changing.
Speaker D:Shockingly.
Speaker F:Really.
Speaker F:Tell me more, tell me more.
Speaker F:Long term mindset with this is paramount, as I've learned over time.
Speaker F:This isn't about what you do for 12 weeks or even for 12 months.
Speaker C:This is about what you're prepared to.
Speaker F:Do and the lifestyle and routine and habits you're prepared to build forever.
Speaker F:It's a phrase I love saying when I have friends that will ask me, how do you keep doing this?
Speaker F:My response is, I don't know how to stop anymore.
Speaker F:I've done this for so long and it's so normal to me.
Speaker F:Seriously.
Speaker F:I don't know how to miss gym sessions.
Speaker F:I don't know how to not meal prep for myself and feed my body good, yummy, healthy food.
Speaker F:I don't know how to not do that anymore.
Speaker F:And it's only come about because I've done it for so damn long.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:And it's a good place to be in when you can say, well, I don't know how to stop even if I wanted to.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:Because it's just so damn normal.
Speaker F:But the thing is, that is a place where I would like people to get to.
Speaker C:If you get to that space where.
Speaker F:You can say that like, this is what I do, like your success is Assured.
Speaker F:It's not if you have success, honestly, it's how much over a long term period of time because all these doors start to open.
Speaker F:But a short term mindset, if you're thinking, oh, just, you know, get in shape for Christmas or just get to my birthday or lose this much weight by this date, like, okay, cool, what happens after that?
Speaker F:What's next?
Speaker C:Have you thought that far yet?
Speaker F:And I can understand I'm in a place right now I don't want to be.
Speaker F:I want to turn this around.
Speaker F:I don't want to look like this, I don't want to feel like this.
Speaker C:Like I get all that.
Speaker F:But the thing is, for a long term improvement with this requires a long term approach.
Speaker C:You set yourself these goals to get to X dress size or whatever it.
Speaker F:Is in a certain period of time.
Speaker F:What happens after that?
Speaker F:If you get to this goal, what will you do after that?
Speaker F:If you don't get to the goal by then, what will you do?
Speaker F:Will you keep going?
Speaker F:Or are you thinking to yourself, I'm.
Speaker C:Going to get to this size, this.
Speaker F:Weight, this whatever, and that's it, like you're problem free for the rest of your life, I got some bad news.
Speaker F:So a long term mindset is critical and it's very much easier said than done.
Speaker F:And which is why I personally don't judge people for not having a long term mindset because you don't develop it quickly.
Speaker F:It takes time.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:Next superpower I've got Courtney Perseverance, which is almost like an extension of the long term mindset.
Speaker F:Just the ability to stick with it, not be distracted by shiny objects.
Speaker F:Like, oh, I've started this program with Matt and Courtney.
Speaker F:Oh, I might go try intermittent fasting next week.
Speaker F:Oh, after that I might go and work with a keto coach.
Speaker F:You got no chance.
Speaker F:Perseverance, the ability to stick with things long term and to keep showing up.
Speaker F:And that in itself is actually a superpower, the ability to show up.
Speaker F:Again, easier said than done.
Speaker F:If you've got someone, regardless of what they struggle with or their faults or whatever, if they're willing to show up, you've got something you can work with.
Speaker F:If someone's not willing to show up, it's over.
Speaker F:Like, we're done here.
Speaker E:This is a wrap.
Speaker F:You ain't going nowhere.
Speaker D:I agree.
Speaker F:So perseverance.
Speaker C:Next one I've got is a word.
Speaker F:That Courtney likes to use a lot.
Speaker F:Perspective.
Speaker C:The ability to have perspective.
Speaker F:And in particular with what I'm referencing here, the ability to not sweat the small stuff because the thing is, with a weight loss journey, things are going to go wrong.
Speaker F:You're going to be challenged, there's going to be tough times.
Speaker F:Like that is how it works.
Speaker B:It's called life.
Speaker F:It is indeed called life.
Speaker F:Life has a habit of throwing curveballs.
Speaker F:It'll ask you questions, tough questions, questions you may not want to answer.
Speaker C:That's just the way it goes.
Speaker F:But there's perspective involved in knowing what's worth stressing about and what's not worth stressing about.
Speaker F:And some of the best advice I've ever been given is, hey, don't sweat the small things.
Speaker F:You made a mistake.
Speaker F:Oh, you missed a meal.
Speaker F:Oh, you missed breakfast.
Speaker F:Oh, you had to miss a training session.
Speaker F:Fucking move on, pal.
Speaker F:Move on.
Speaker F:Go get it right.
Speaker F:The next time.
Speaker F:Next day, next workout, next cooking session in the kitchen, like, there's always a next time.
Speaker F:Go get it right.
Speaker D:There's always a next time.
Speaker D:I think when you talk about perspective, it really is about stepping back.
Speaker D:You're trying to look at it from an outside point of view because when all of this stuff keeps happening to us, you don't see it.
Speaker D:You know, you can't always see things for what they are, the reality of the situation, when you're the one that's living it.
Speaker D:So when you talk about perspective, it's about trying to step back.
Speaker D:And if you were the coach or the friend and the outside looking in, what would you tell yourself?
Speaker D:How would you look at it?
Speaker F:We're all brilliant at giving advice to others and not so brilliant at taking it ourselves.
Speaker F:I think perspective only comes through experience.
Speaker F:Experience and also learning from others in some cases.
Speaker F:And that's also why we are so obviously passionate about, you know, getting help, getting support, getting coaching with things like this, because the people you've got around you will have perspective that you may not necessarily be expected to have, especially early on.
Speaker F:When people first start with this, they're very much slaves to their emotions, which is understandable because it's a very emotional process and a lot of decisions, our reactions, our thoughts, etcetera, Are based on our emotions.
Speaker F:Over time, as perspective comes with experience, you can gradually start to shift from emotional to more objective.
Speaker F:And looking at things, as you said, Courtney, from that sort of external view, or I like to say it, from like, thousand foot high in the sky, you can see things with a bit more clarity, but that only takes time as well.
Speaker F:So, yeah, perspective and the ability to not sweat the small stuff and just knowing when to trust your gut and just let certain shit go.
Speaker F:Yeah, Just move on.
Speaker D:Just move on.
Speaker F:Next one I've got, Courtney.
Speaker F:Is kindness and understanding towards oneself.
Speaker F:Once again, common theme.
Speaker F:Easier said than done.
Speaker F:We are indeed our own worst critics.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:And our own worst enemies when it comes to this.
Speaker F:Something that we, we said in last week's episode, Courtney, about, you know, being less of a dick to yourself.
Speaker F:Think of the ways you treat yourself and the things you say to yourself.
Speaker F:Would you say that to someone else, to someone you care for?
Speaker F:If you wouldn't, you probably shouldn't say it to yourself.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:And that's a big thing with this, especially if you're attempting to do something you haven't done before.
Speaker F:Like there's going to be bumps in the road and you're going to make mistakes.
Speaker F:Like, hey, be, be kind to yourself and be understanding that this might be your first lap around the track or your first few laps around the track, like things are going to go wrong.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:And if you think to yourself, ah, nah, I won't be that person.
Speaker F:Like, yes, you fucking will be.
Speaker D:Yeah, you will.
Speaker C:Yeah, you.
Speaker C:Sorry, you aren't that special.
Speaker F:Yeah, it's just, it is what it is.
Speaker F:But giving yourself some grace is a big thing with this.
Speaker F:And I personally think that having this kindness and understanding towards yourself allows you to get better at things like not sweating the small stuff because like, oh, you know what, I'll fuck that up.
Speaker F:I'll get it right next time.
Speaker C:Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker F:You know, it is what it is.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker F:And in many cases as well, sometimes shit just happens.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:Sometimes you just get things wrong.
Speaker C:That's all.
Speaker C:Right, last one I've got.
Speaker F:Courtney, before we move on to yourself, because Jesus, I've been going here, the last one I've got is having a student mentality.
Speaker F:What do I mean by having a student mentality?
Speaker F:Well, by that I mean being prepared to learn as much as you can from every possible situation.
Speaker F:So the thing is, as you gather experience with this, you should be able to learn from your experiences, to apply them later on down the track in a similar situation or potentially to pay it forward and pass it on to friends or loved ones or other people that are going through similar situations to you.
Speaker F:Being a student and being prepared to learn as much as you can from every situation helps you get very good with this because there is no better teacher than experience.
Speaker F:Like, I know for me, like I've done so many certificates with my line of work, but nothing has taught me as much as good old fashioned life.
Speaker F:There's only, excuse me, there's Only so much you learn from a textbook.
Speaker F:You know, being prepared to look at any situation and go, well, okay, what went right, what went wrong, what can be applied for next time?
Speaker F:As we like to say, Courtney, success leaves clues.
Speaker F:Yes, but so does failure, for lack.
Speaker C:Of a better word.
Speaker F:Struggle leaves clues, victory leaves clues.
Speaker F:Like any experience you have with this, be it positive or negative or somewhere in between, there's information you can get out of that that you can apply the next time out.
Speaker F:Because chances are there will be another next time out with this, you very rarely will have one off situations.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:With a journey like this, you'll kind of have similar situations repeating themselves over time.
Speaker F:But just having that ability to go.
Speaker C:Well, okay, what went right, what went.
Speaker F:Wrong, what can be applied next time out?
Speaker F:Because I can tell you it's a very, very good feeling when you apply something you've learned the next time a similar situation comes up and it's like, oh, I got better at that.
Speaker F:It's a real good, positive, uplifting feeling.
Speaker D:Yes, it is.
Speaker F:That's all I got.
Speaker F:So I've given my superpowers as a quick recap, Courtney.
Speaker F:Resilience, consistency, accountability, honesty, a long term mindset, perseverance, perspective and the ability to.
Speaker C:Not sweat the small stuff.
Speaker F:Kindness and understanding towards oneself and a student mentality.
Speaker D:Love it.
Speaker D:I have a list as well.
Speaker D:I think there was no point copying literally everything.
Speaker D:So just because there's stuff on Matt's list that isn't on my list doesn't mean that it's one of our lists are wrong.
Speaker D:It's just there was no point literally copying every single one each other had.
Speaker F:We don't need an echo chamber.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker F:The thing is.
Speaker F:Well, the reason we're doing our own individual list is because we're different people.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker D:So I also had resilience.
Speaker D:I had resilience, slash strength.
Speaker D:So I think that I agree.
Speaker D:Resilience is massive, obviously, when it comes to.
Speaker F:What's resilience to you?
Speaker D:Life in general.
Speaker D:Not only just this.
Speaker D:Resilience to me is the ability to always be trying to move forward.
Speaker E:Oh.
Speaker D:So to me, resilience is about always somehow taking steps forward.
Speaker D:And you may not always like it and it may not be comfortable and it may not be easy.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker D:But you never want to be left treading water, stagnant.
Speaker D:Definitely don't want to be going backwards and the battles that come with that because it's never an easy process.
Speaker F:How resilient would you say you are now?
Speaker D:I would say that I am light years more Resilient than I was even five years ago.
Speaker F:How do you improve at that?
Speaker D:Resilience to me is being able to deal with that in a positive way and to learn from it and move forward.
Speaker D:And I said resilience, slash strength.
Speaker D:Because I feel like to me it's.
Speaker D:There's sort of the same category.
Speaker D:You need to have strength.
Speaker D:Strength is a superpower.
Speaker D:And I'm not just talking about physical strength.
Speaker D:Yes, in a weight loss journey, that's going to come in handy and you're going to build that up.
Speaker D:But you have to be able to also have strength of mind.
Speaker D:You know, our brain is a muscle too, and we need to develop strength in our thoughts, in our actions, like pairs with resilience.
Speaker D:My next one is sacrifice.
Speaker D:I think that when it comes to sacrifice, it's not a pleasant word.
Speaker D:I mean, we all want to believe that we can go through and we're going to be able to find some sort of weight loss journey that doesn't involve sacrificing anything.
Speaker F:Isn't that the dream?
Speaker D:And it's just not going to happen.
Speaker D:So, yes, we say when you do weight loss correctly, it shouldn't be a diet.
Speaker F:Which is accurate.
Speaker D:Which is accurate.
Speaker D:But that doesn't mean that you're not going to have to sacrifice anything.
Speaker F:There's a difference between you don't need to diet versus you can eat the same shit you use to get where you are, to get where you want to be.
Speaker D:And it's completely fine.
Speaker D:The word sacrifice, it has to come into the mix now.
Speaker D:To me, you change it from a negative to a positive by adding it to a category that says these are the superpowers that you need to succeed.
Speaker D:So you change it from a negative aspect to it's a superpower, the ability to be able to sacrifice.
Speaker D:So you have to get comfortable with it and you have to get comfortable with there's going to be a certain amount of it.
Speaker C:Well, is.
Speaker F:Could the word sacrifice be interchanged with being prepared to make choices?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Find some sort of way to put some sort of positivity on it.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:It's about choices.
Speaker D:It's about making the best choice possible, not always the one that you want.
Speaker F:Also, the choice is congruent with the outcome you're striving towards.
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker D:So I think sacrifice you can definitely use.
Speaker D:It's essential to be part of the journey, but I think it also can be added to be a superpower.
Speaker C:What have you had to sacrifice along.
Speaker F:The way to get to where you.
Speaker D:Are from every category, you sacrifice Food that you want to eat, such as you sacrifice.
Speaker D:Well, you know, sugar, gluten, dairy.
Speaker D:I've intolerances to them.
Speaker D:So that in itself still is a sacrifice.
Speaker F:Are you saying you don't have sugar anymore?
Speaker D:I have less sugar than I used to, yep.
Speaker D:What else there would be?
Speaker F:Does time count as a sacrifice?
Speaker B:Time?
Speaker D:You know you would.
Speaker D:I would sacrifice doing certain things because I need to get my workout in.
Speaker F:Or watching a certain TV show at a certain time.
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker D:Or you sacrifice part of your weekend to do food shopping and meal prep.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Okay, so there's sacrifices that are involved and some people will look at those and say, oh, that's not really a sacrifice.
Speaker D:Well, it is choice.
Speaker D:It's choice.
Speaker D:You're making that choice to do something else.
Speaker D:My next one is.
Speaker D:I think you had it as well, Matt.
Speaker D:With consistency.
Speaker D:I don't think I can add too much more than what you already said, which is just how important consistency is.
Speaker F:What's consistency do you have?
Speaker D:I mean consistency really is the ability to do actions for a sustained period of time until you get the results.
Speaker F:Okay, what about after that?
Speaker D:Find new actions and continue to do those.
Speaker D:So it's about having goals, setting goals, setting intentions and acting on them.
Speaker D:And then when you get to a certain place, you're resetting goals, you're resetting intentions, you're acting on them, but nothing happens overnight.
Speaker D:And so it's about that doing the same thing over and over and over again until you get the result that you want.
Speaker D:And then once you get that result, aiming for something else and doing that over and over and over again until you get the what you want.
Speaker D:That's really what consistency is to me.
Speaker D:My next one is open minded.
Speaker D:So be open minded.
Speaker F:What do you mean by that?
Speaker D:I think this sort of relates a bit to your student mentality 1 Matt on your list, which is you have to be open minded to try new things.
Speaker D:You have to be open minded to there being a better way.
Speaker D:Often we can get stuck in our preconceived ideas on what weight loss is or what exercise is or what healthy eating is.
Speaker D:So people will come to us and say, oh, but I eat okay.
Speaker D:Well you don't.
Speaker D:You clearly don't.
Speaker D:So oh no, I eat pretty healthy.
Speaker D:That's not my problem.
Speaker D:It is.
Speaker D:It is your problem.
Speaker F:Overweight person saying, oh, I eat healthy.
Speaker D:That's not my problem.
Speaker D:It is your problem and it just is your problem because it's one of them.
Speaker D:I mean, yeah, so trying to keep an open mind in that, being open to change, being open to change.
Speaker D:There are going to be things that you aren't going to like.
Speaker D:There's going to be things that you love.
Speaker D:All of it is going to be part of the journey.
Speaker D:You need to be open to it.
Speaker D:But it also comes to be open minded to your own emotions.
Speaker D:The negativity, the emotion, the positivity, the joy.
Speaker D:You have to be open and know that all of this is going to come because the moment you start to close anything off it, the harder it's going to be for yourself.
Speaker D:So I think that's really important when it comes to it.
Speaker D:And obviously taking in information, learning new skills, that's a big one because you may never lift weights.
Speaker F:I think also part of being open minded and being open to change is being open to having your thoughts and beliefs potentially challenged.
Speaker D:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker D:The open mindedness comes from not closing yourself off to that thought straight away and saying tell me more.
Speaker E:Yes.
Speaker D:Or just simply asking the question why?
Speaker D:My favorite, your favorite question, Matt, which is to ask why?
Speaker D:So my next one on my list is self reflection, being self reflective or having some self reflection.
Speaker D:This one comes in, I think it's really important from the emotional side of weight loss.
Speaker D:It's a long journey so it can be a very emotional journey.
Speaker D:You've got highs and you've got lows and you can have joy, you're going to have frustration.
Speaker D:And this all comes back to perspective as well.
Speaker D:So very similar in this being able to step back and actually when things are hard and things are going really well to also not just when things are hard.
Speaker D:I think that's really important.
Speaker D:You also want to be self reflective when things are going really well.
Speaker D:That's the way that we start to understand our individual behavior, individual habits.
Speaker D:So you want to be able to take a moment and step back and really think about what's happened, what's happening, what's going to happen next.
Speaker D:How am I dealing with this?
Speaker D:How do I really feel?
Speaker D:Not how am I supposed to feel but how do I really feel about this?
Speaker D:I think being able to have that self reflective nature.
Speaker D:This is where also some people like to journal.
Speaker D:You know, some people enjoy journaling and they enjoy getting their feelings down on paper.
Speaker D:That's great too.
Speaker D:I've never been much of a journaler.
Speaker D:I tend to just do it in my own head.
Speaker D:You know, I have a conversation in my own head about is this really a problem or feel good today.
Speaker D:Why?
Speaker D:Yeah, so these are all things that I think are really important to do throughout your journey.
Speaker D:It Gives you so much intel.
Speaker F:How often do you self reflect?
Speaker D:Daily.
Speaker E:Really?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:On what sort of things?
Speaker D:Everything from negative emotions, obviously bringing out the most.
Speaker D:So if I'm feeling regret, if I'm feeling anxious, if I'm feeling sadness or frustration, they bring it out the most.
Speaker D:But I try to get in the habit of also when I'm feeling I'm quite energetic in a day, feeling like just touching in with myself on why do I feel so good today?
Speaker F:You know, what do you get from it?
Speaker D:For the negative things it helps me with my anxiety.
Speaker D:So regret, anxious feelings, things like that are triggers.
Speaker D:So if I'm feeling anxious about something, it allows me to really think about not just the emotion but why I'm feeling the emotion.
Speaker D:So I have to ask myself, okay, I'm feeling anxious.
Speaker D:Why, what is it that I'm actually anxious about here?
Speaker D:And it allows me to self reflect on the problem, not just the emotion.
Speaker D:And then I can think about in more of a clear way and I can remind myself that it's not as bad as I think it is when I do it.
Speaker D:When I'm feeling energetic or happy or positive.
Speaker D:I think it's good because it trains my brain to not only self reflect when it's always negative.
Speaker D:So I like to be able to then tell myself that it's not just always associated with negativity, but also I like it because maybe I can use some of the feelings when I'm feeling anxious and I can remind myself of that or I can use some of those happy examples when I'm not feeling quite so happy.
Speaker D:Does that make sense?
Speaker D:It does, but obviously not everybody is going to deal with anxiety like I do or in general and you know, so not everyone's going to have that.
Speaker D:So you may not need to self reflect daily, but I still think it's a really good thing to do to be able to self reflect on how far you've come.
Speaker D:Maybe what your next goal is really take a step back and really think about those things because it's really easy to forget the little things.
Speaker D:My next one is honesty.
Speaker D:So we spoke about it in your list, Matt.
Speaker D:We all know why honesty is important.
Speaker F:What does it mean to you though?
Speaker D:In the early stages of my journey were definitely what you had said earlier, Matt.
Speaker D:You know, you only want to remember the good things.
Speaker F:Selective honesty.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker D:This selective honesty.
Speaker D:And I would consider myself a very honest person.
Speaker D:And even I fell into that pattern of being very selectively honest because I think feeding off that comes the fear of disappointment, the fear of Letting somebody down.
Speaker D:You know, all these things come off being honest.
Speaker D:And so of course your brain's going to go into selective honesty.
Speaker D:You don't want to feel those feelings.
Speaker D:I think along with honesty is probably a good one to slip in there, which is also vulnerability.
Speaker F:Yes.
Speaker D:Because I think they are going to come in hand in hand.
Speaker F:How do we miss that?
Speaker D:Vulnerability is really important because of that.
Speaker D:Because it takes vulnerability to be honest.
Speaker D:It takes vulnerability to potentially let someone down, to potentially have someone be disappointed in you.
Speaker D:There are potential, I'm not going to.
Speaker F:Say, or be disappointed in yourself.
Speaker D:Being disappointed in yourself, having to be embarrassed because you did or didn't do something, having to feel regret.
Speaker D:These are vulnerable emotions.
Speaker D:They're not comfortable.
Speaker D:I don't like them.
Speaker D:So I can only imagine other people don't like them.
Speaker D:But have being able to be vulnerable, being able to be honest.
Speaker D:We have to keep reminding ourselves that they're a superpower because the benefits far outweigh the negatives.
Speaker D:We're going to tell ourselves that the negatives are bigger.
Speaker D:It's completely false.
Speaker D:Need to tell yourself that the benefits are always going to outweigh any negativity that comes from it.
Speaker D:That's what you always say.
Speaker D:If somebody is disappointed or upset with you for making a mistake, that's their problem.
Speaker F:It probably says a lot about the person rather than about you.
Speaker F:Because a positive mindset is like, okay, a mistake's been made.
Speaker F:How can we improve next time out?
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:And remembering our favorite quote, Matt, you know, forget the mistake, remember the lesson.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker F:Vulnerability is a damn good one.
Speaker F:Glad you brought that up.
Speaker F:Thank you.
Speaker D:My next one is patience.
Speaker C:Oh, oh.
Speaker F:The one that no one wants.
Speaker D:The one that no one wants.
Speaker D:It is a superpower to be patient.
Speaker D:It is the most uncomfortable of all the superpowers.
Speaker F:Probably this is the bane of people's existence.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Probably even more uncomfortable than vulnerability.
Speaker D:It takes a long time and being patient sucks.
Speaker F:It takes longer than what you tell yourself.
Speaker D:So patience is a skill, needs to be practiced and you're not always going to get it right.
Speaker D:You're going to get frustrated, you're going to get annoyed at the time.
Speaker D:In some stage of your journey.
Speaker D:Multiple, multiple stages, trying to remind yourself of patience and a long term mindset is essential.
Speaker F:Once again, easier said than done.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker F:And how's your patience improved over time?
Speaker D:Oh, it's improved.
Speaker D:I still suck at it.
Speaker D:I'm still a very impatient person.
Speaker D:When I want something done, I want it done now.
Speaker D:I want to see results straight away.
Speaker F:The fantasy huh?
Speaker D:Correct.
Speaker D:My last one is empathy.
Speaker D:I think empathy is a really important superpower to have.
Speaker D:I mean, I think when we talk about empathy, we're talking about it actually probably similar to your one mat of kindness and understanding towards yourself.
Speaker D:So you touched on it before.
Speaker D:You wouldn't allow somebody else to speak to your child or your mother or your sibling or your best friend.
Speaker D:The way that we often speak to ourselves, you just wouldn't stand there and take it.
Speaker D:And we, day after day after day, when we get into a negative headspace, we are awful to ourselves.
Speaker D:Brutal at times, absolutely brutal.
Speaker D:You would never say the things out loud that we say to our in our own heads often, let alone to.
Speaker F:Someone you care about.
Speaker D:So trying to remember empathy first is the most important thing.
Speaker C:How do you practise that?
Speaker D:I think that comes with time, but I think practicing empathy first.
Speaker D:So it's not just practicing empathy is practicing empathy first.
Speaker F:Okay.
Speaker D:So when something happens.
Speaker D:Because often we're the most nasty to ourselves when something's gone wrong or we've perceived something to go wrong, we made a mistake, or maybe we're not practicing patience as well as we should be, something has happened that has triggered us off and straight away we want to just shit on ourselves.
Speaker D:We are the worst person in the world, basically.
Speaker D:You know, every insult underneath the sun, everyone's going to be upset with you, everyone's going to be disappointed in you.
Speaker D:You embarrass yourself.
Speaker D:Why are you doing this?
Speaker D:Why did you ever think you could do this?
Speaker D:All these one liners that we start spewing at ourselves.
Speaker D:I think the best thing to do when that starts to happen is to remind yourself as literally say to yourself, empathy first and to step back.
Speaker D:And this is where then you move into being self reflective.
Speaker D:Why am I jumping down my own throat here?
Speaker D:What's happened?
Speaker D:Because often we start bang straight into these awful one liners and we're just abusing ourselves, we forget why.
Speaker D:So pull it back, remind ourselves, why am I upset with myself right now?
Speaker D:And then being able to actually be a bit self reflective and say, why am I upset?
Speaker F:Have you improved at this over time?
Speaker C:Yeah, let's hope to get better at that.
Speaker F:Just literally saying empathy first.
Speaker D:Just stepping back.
Speaker D:I literally feel myself, I almost imagine myself taking a step back, so physically stepping back.
Speaker D:So when I say I step back, in my mind I am physically stepping back and I'm looking at myself in this situation and I'm literally saying to myself, what has gone wrong here?
Speaker D:What's happened here?
Speaker D:And then it's really everything else dies down and I'm really just getting to the core of the problem and then I'm almost dissecting it like it was somebody else's problem.
Speaker D:Like my best friend has come to me and told me this and I'm looking at it as, okay, let's think about this.
Speaker D:Trying to take a step away from it so you can think clearly.
Speaker D:That's the way I do it.
Speaker D:Others might have a very different way of doing that.
Speaker F:I know just personally, I will often think to myself in this situation, what would I say to someone else?
Speaker D:Perfect way.
Speaker D:You would need to come up with something to tell yourself.
Speaker D:Something that's going to trigger you into thinking a bit more clearly and really getting down to what the problem is and why suddenly it's a problem.
Speaker D:And I think that's going to change for everyone.
Speaker D:Like I said before, some people like to write down their feelings, some people like to journal it.
Speaker F:There's no right or wrong way to do this.
Speaker D:There's no right or wrong and everyone's going to have something different.
Speaker E:So if it works, it works.
Speaker B:I feel like when it comes to.
Speaker D:Empathy and self reflection, you just have to find that trigger that's going to work for you.
Speaker D:You just got to find that one switch that you can flick that's going to get you to really start thinking about it clearly.
Speaker F:You would probably then say there'd be some trial and error.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:It took me years to really come up with something that now feels like when you say to me, how do you do it?
Speaker D:I literally have to think about it because I just do it.
Speaker D:It's like trigger for me happens almost naturally now without me thinking too much about it.
Speaker D:My process.
Speaker D:When you find something that works, just keep doing it and just keep practicing it.
Speaker D:It's just like any other emotional muscle that we're trying to get better at.
Speaker D:It's just about repetition.
Speaker D:And if you're feeling like you're doing something and it's not helping and you've been doing it for a while, don't be afraid to try something else because you know there's not one thing that's going to work for everyone.
Speaker D:I've tried writing down my feelings before.
Speaker D:It didn't really work for me.
Speaker F:You're not a writer.
Speaker D:I'm not a writer, absolutely.
Speaker D:I'm a talker.
Speaker D:So find something that works for you.
Speaker D:That's on my list.
Speaker F:Thank you for that.
Speaker D:No problem.
Speaker F:That was fantastic.
Speaker F:Well done.
Speaker D:You too.
Speaker D:Good lists.
Speaker F:So hopefully this has proved to be of some value.
Speaker F:To you.
Speaker F:If not, well, I mean, just blame Courtney.
Speaker F:I always do.
Speaker E:We've helped, so we really are happy.
Speaker F:That we've done that.
Speaker B:So I hope that you are able to get something from that.
Speaker B:Please contact us via email@the weightlosspodcast.com look.
Speaker D:Up the Weight Loss Podcast on Facebook and you'll find the Facebook group.
Speaker B:That's where you can send any questions that you have that you'd like us to answer on our upcoming episodes.
Speaker B:Also, any episode topics that you would like us to cover, please send them through to us.
Speaker B:We are always open to discussing whatever you need clarification on.
Speaker C:We love feedback, so we really hope this has helped.
Speaker C:So reach out and get in touch and we will speak to you soon.
Speaker A:Are you ready to share your success?
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