In today’s episode, we are joined by Author and Private Coach, Tracy Malone. Tracy has dealt with narcissism her whole life with her family and relationships. Today she talks to us about the signs of narcissism. Tracy covers what it can be like when someone becomes aware that they are in a relationship with a narcissist. Many people may be unaware that their loved one is a narcissist and don’t learn until they are faced with a divorce. Tune in today to know what to look out for and how to navigate healing from a narcissistic relationship. Don’t forget to tune in next week for part 2 of this episode!
In this episode:
[1:35] Tracy shares her difficult divorce from her narcissistic ex husband. [5:35] Is it common for people to be unaware of narcissism? [7:04] Does Tracy work with people still healing from a history of narcissism? [8:49] What are the signs of narcissism? [14:37] How can marriages last 30-40 years if one spouse is a narcissist? [16:08] Tracy talks about what self-absorption means. [17:05] Can a narcissist do mediation, or is it a fight in court?
Key Takeaways:
Gaslighting creates an environment where you begin to question reality. You start to lose your identity and forget your worth. Narcissists can have fun but can also be cruel to their children behind closed doors or show false love, which keeps family and friends close. It is common for them to be passive-aggressive and to give the silent treatment. This can make divorcing a narcissist very challenging. The biggest sign that someone is a narcissist is that they have no compassion for others, even the person they’ve been with for many years. They can be married to someone for 30+ years and suddenly not care about the other person's well-being.
Quotes:
“I think most people don't know it until they are faced with divorce. Someone says, `You know I think they are narcissists’, and they start to do the deep dive that I did.” - Tracy Malone
“The public persona of what our family was, was so not the reality, but that was what they were selling.” - Tracy Malone
“Narcissists use false love to manipulate people; they are selfish. They have no ability to feel shame, empathy, or guilt. Therefore they can do whatever they want; it doesn't matter if you've been married to them for 30 years, you are pond scum to them when they can only see black and white.” - Tracy Malone
“During divorce, something happens. We call it a narcissistic injury. Whether they decided or you decided, basically, you go from all good to all evil.” - Tracy Malone
Guest Bio:
Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard.
Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups.
She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media.
Resources:
Divorcing Your Narcissist Book
Lesa Koski Website
Lesa’s Online Courses
