Transcripts
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend
Speaker:how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good
Speaker:is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:what's happening is I'm getting a colonoscopy
Speaker:oh we're we're we're recording oh yeah
Speaker:let's talk about your um
Speaker:exciting event cause I was not gonna do it
Speaker:I was never gonna schedule it what
Speaker:it just wasn't wasn't that it's like my flu shot
Speaker:I don't get yeah
Speaker:don't get him
Speaker:I don't get the flu
Speaker:everything's fine
Speaker:not anymore my love so
Speaker:you had told me
Speaker:when I was thinking about scheduling a colonoscopy
Speaker:I'd always heard 50 years old
Speaker:I'm not 50 years old Erica
Speaker:and so I was very excited that I had a whole
Speaker:I'm hesitantly saying my age
Speaker:I saw that I started stuttering
Speaker:I was like should I just lie and pretend I'm yeah
Speaker:now I'm 49 and um
Speaker:you like to round up to 50 sometimes no
Speaker:well to make fun of you
Speaker:but in women's age I always round down yeah
Speaker:and so anyway
Speaker:I thought I was like yeah
Speaker:I'm gonna get you know
Speaker:dating a doctor
Speaker:I go I should probably get a colonoscopy
Speaker:and then I go as 50
Speaker:the right age and you go
Speaker:not anymore
Speaker:moved it down
Speaker:which made me feel like I was no longer
Speaker:on like getting a head
Speaker:it made me feel like I was behind
Speaker:and it worried me a little bit because why would
Speaker:why would the doctors want you to go check at 45 now
Speaker:I'm not a year early
Speaker:I'm four years late
Speaker:and so now I have stress related to that
Speaker:yeah I get that a lot
Speaker:though the guidelines actually recently changed
Speaker:so it hasn't been like that
Speaker:so you didn't mess up
Speaker:a lot of people are playing catch up
Speaker:because everybody heard age 50 for a long long time
Speaker:unfortunately
Speaker:we're diagnosing a lot more colon cancer
Speaker:colorectal cancer
Speaker:a lot earlier in age in life
Speaker:so the USPSCF guidelines basically said
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:there's way more people getting sick
Speaker:let's round down to where we can
Speaker:hopefully catch something early
Speaker:is this to make me feel better all this
Speaker:so you're saying
Speaker:I'm saying you're young
Speaker:and the scary thing
Speaker:I guess it's a double edged short right
Speaker:yeah more people are getting sick earlier
Speaker:but at the same time
Speaker:we're catching stuff earlier
Speaker:catching it sooner
Speaker:change the guidelines to starting it earlier
Speaker:right that makes sense
Speaker:yeah so that's what we're doing gotcha
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:you're saying they're doing this to be
Speaker:you know to catch something a little bit earlier
Speaker:before my perspective
Speaker:I guess I felt like I was getting it early
Speaker:by doing it a year before 50
Speaker:but now I feel like I'm late
Speaker:and late makes me
Speaker:you know me
Speaker:I'm getting a little anxious
Speaker:a little stressed out
Speaker:that makes me feel like that I'm now
Speaker:I'm late and something could be going on
Speaker:but you're saying
Speaker:even if there was something
Speaker:this is better than
Speaker:right yeah I mean
Speaker:what we're trying to do is catch up before it spreads
Speaker:right so you want to catch up before you're sick
Speaker:or you have symptoms
Speaker:too yeah so
Speaker:that's the goal
Speaker:I know it just
Speaker:it sucks to hear all of it
Speaker:have difficult to ask
Speaker:I hear it all the time in my office
Speaker:and I tell people
Speaker:you're young
Speaker:I'm sorry but happy birthday right
Speaker:what I thought was
Speaker:you gotta do it right
Speaker:yeah I'm doing it
Speaker:I haven't scheduled them on the books
Speaker:and what surprised me was
Speaker:you know it would be day
Speaker:for a while
Speaker:we started dating
Speaker:I would come to visit you
Speaker:and I'll stay in a hotel
Speaker:and then after a while every
Speaker:it was like hell
Speaker:you should sleep here
Speaker:and then after a while
Speaker:there was no more hotels
Speaker:and I would stay at your house
Speaker:and then when I am
Speaker:when we talked about the colonoscopy
Speaker:you said oh
Speaker:the day before the colonoscopy
Speaker:I'll pick you up from the airport
Speaker:and then we'll drop you off your hotel
Speaker:and then the next day we'll do
Speaker:I was like oh
Speaker:I thought I was uh
Speaker:bad guy I thought I
Speaker:was I thought I slept over your house from now on
Speaker:but well you're a guy who sleeps at my house
Speaker:you're not a guy that poops at my house
Speaker:so I was trying to give you the other hand
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:so what happens is the night before Colonel asked me
Speaker:you had a drink
Speaker:you drink some some shit
Speaker:you drink like a gallon of no
Speaker:you drink stuff to make you shit
Speaker:Jamie right
Speaker:lots of shits explosive
Speaker:intentional shit powerful
Speaker:I like that word
Speaker:intentional yeah
Speaker:well doctors are assholes yeah
Speaker:I don't intentionally invoke diarrhea for fun
Speaker:I've never had an unintentional shit that went well
Speaker:right I asked you that once
Speaker:and you completely scared of the question
Speaker:and I'm gonna make you uncomfortable
Speaker:I asked you the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:and you already told me huh
Speaker:3 months old yeah
Speaker:I used to shit my pants like that and like
Speaker:come on well
Speaker:when we started talking
Speaker:you would send me these cute little surveys
Speaker:so wasn't like out of nowhere you said
Speaker:when's the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:was the survey
Speaker:not a survey
Speaker:a questionnaire
Speaker:yeah and one of the questions was
Speaker:when's the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:and I said I think when I was a baby
Speaker:I was trying to answer honestly
Speaker:I can't remember
Speaker:the last time I did that
Speaker:pretty good control
Speaker:I'm not sure what's gonna happen
Speaker:I feel like I have pretty good
Speaker:control down there
Speaker:I'm not sure what's gonna happen
Speaker:after your friend puts a camera in my asshole oh
Speaker:you're you're toast
Speaker:I don't know if it's gonna ruin my
Speaker:muscles that I've
Speaker:they've they've worked really
Speaker:really well so far
Speaker:but you know what
Speaker:you you had um
Speaker:I answered honestly
Speaker:by no way I know
Speaker:so what is it
Speaker:what was it
Speaker:I kinda remember oh
Speaker:sure your pants at work
Speaker:yes absolutely
Speaker:I was doing a procedure
Speaker:I was excising a lesion of someone
Speaker:I had just anesthetized them
Speaker:and I went out of the room
Speaker:when they were prepped to get
Speaker:something and
Speaker:I took a chance
Speaker:and I gambled
Speaker:wrong you did
Speaker:I had a horrible stomach
Speaker:flu and well
Speaker:stuff happened
Speaker:and instead of cancelling the day
Speaker:the patient was already there
Speaker:I um proceeded to continue yeah
Speaker:that's a doctor
Speaker:thing right
Speaker:you gotta go in when you're tired
Speaker:you gotta go in when you're sick
Speaker:and accidents
Speaker:happen yeah
Speaker:what do you do
Speaker:at that point
Speaker:you excuse yourself because of a shower in the hospital
Speaker:what do you do
Speaker:oh I've shit myself so many times at work
Speaker:and I peed my pants at work
Speaker:I've had horrible things happen
Speaker:when did are there
Speaker:you work through it
Speaker:I've actually
Speaker:worked through it
Speaker:so you're not
Speaker:you don't even
Speaker:get a break
Speaker:it's not not even like an airline
Speaker:lounge where you could
Speaker:I was on call
Speaker:and I was the only doctor
Speaker:who was available
Speaker:we couldn't get back up
Speaker:so I was carrying
Speaker:a basin around the hospital
Speaker:because I was actively vomiting
Speaker:wow and this is not a bragging thing
Speaker:you don't wanna be sick at work
Speaker:no of course not
Speaker:um do we gotta do
Speaker:so when you're on call
Speaker:that means like
Speaker:even if you're not
Speaker:even if you're not in the room
Speaker:if they need someone to shit
Speaker:they call you
Speaker:oh my god so no
Speaker:like I would have to take care of a patient at like
Speaker:2:00am yeah
Speaker:I just finished vomiting
Speaker:got the page
Speaker:ran up to the room
Speaker:ran the code so did CPR
Speaker:resuscitated
Speaker:whatever I had to do
Speaker:and then came back to my call room and
Speaker:stay there for a few more hours
Speaker:and I've never gambled and lost
Speaker:except for actual gambling
Speaker:you say that
Speaker:I would tell you the truth no
Speaker:I've gambled and lost money no
Speaker:I've never gambled and lost
Speaker:of what we're talking about
Speaker:I don't believe you
Speaker:hmm I can't think of that
Speaker:I'm not I'm not
Speaker:have a great memory
Speaker:if I think of one
Speaker:I'll fess up to
Speaker:but I do not think I've gambled and lost
Speaker:I think the most interesting thing is
Speaker:as a physician
Speaker:we talk about this
Speaker:all the time
Speaker:yeah all the time
Speaker:and all my friends are
Speaker:we talk about this
Speaker:as a comedian
Speaker:we talk about this a lot too
Speaker:shitting yourself
Speaker:we'll have round table
Speaker:discussions
Speaker:at dinner right
Speaker:talking about like
Speaker:the craziest case we saw
Speaker:or who got covered in the most disgusting
Speaker:stuff that day yeah
Speaker:and we'll just eat
Speaker:right along with it
Speaker:I know I noticed that
Speaker:right away with you
Speaker:I noticed that
Speaker:you did not get grossed out by stuff
Speaker:and we were talking
Speaker:and you go hold on
Speaker:give me one second
Speaker:I'm on this
Speaker:like you're on some sort of text
Speaker:thread with a bunch of guys
Speaker:talking about balls
Speaker:oh yeah remember
Speaker:and there was like a
Speaker:there was like a house
Speaker:level like house
Speaker:the TV show
Speaker:Doctor House
Speaker:never watched it
Speaker:I've never watched
Speaker:almost every single doctor show out there
Speaker:I hate them
Speaker:wow house is the one where
Speaker:it's usually a
Speaker:super uncommon
Speaker:yeah and you
Speaker:you had like
Speaker:a house level
Speaker:testicle situation
Speaker:and you guys were
Speaker:you guys were doing a
Speaker:what is it called
Speaker:you're brainstorming
Speaker:but it was like
Speaker:you're making
Speaker:like a think tank
Speaker:yeah about what was wrong
Speaker:with this man's balls
Speaker:yeah remember
Speaker:what it was
Speaker:I don't we never found out pain
Speaker:pain in the balls
Speaker:no he had um
Speaker:multiple punctate
Speaker:calcifications
Speaker:throughout his testes
Speaker:had no idea
Speaker:what the ideology was
Speaker:though we still
Speaker:to this day
Speaker:haven't figured it out
Speaker:I mean it was like
Speaker:gunpowder like burns
Speaker:which are pathologic burns
Speaker:no it's painful
Speaker:it's pathologic
Speaker:for like an other
Speaker:disease process
Speaker:but that's what we
Speaker:described in his
Speaker:scrotum as well
Speaker:but he had like
Speaker:on imaging it was
Speaker:like Christmas
Speaker:lights of Calcium
Speaker:all throughout
Speaker:his testicles
Speaker:and we honestly
Speaker:had no idea why
Speaker:he developed
Speaker:them there and uh
Speaker:nowhere else
Speaker:but it's excruciating
Speaker:painful and
Speaker:I think it's kinda cool
Speaker:because I mean
Speaker:you've got doctors
Speaker:all in their free time
Speaker:working together
Speaker:brainstorming
Speaker:to come up with an answer
Speaker:yeah on our
Speaker:off hours so yeah
Speaker:I like working
Speaker:stuff up like that
Speaker:he wasn't my patient
Speaker:so I didn't have to follow up
Speaker:he was just a friend
Speaker:who was asking like
Speaker:hey what would you do
Speaker:and so I talked to him about
Speaker:like the labs that I would order and yeah
Speaker:with a urologist
Speaker:friend of mine
Speaker:we kind of worked through it
Speaker:but unfortunately
Speaker:he was lost
Speaker:to follow up with
Speaker:the other system
Speaker:so I don't know
Speaker:what happened
Speaker:that's a serious issue right
Speaker:a guy's ball
Speaker:oh yeah he goes to the emergency room
Speaker:his balls hurt whatever
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:you told me once
Speaker:it fascinated me no
Speaker:you you asked me
Speaker:why are the balls
Speaker:on the outside of the body
Speaker:it seems to me
Speaker:like a design flaw
Speaker:it seems to me like
Speaker:that's a very
Speaker:tender thing
Speaker:it is kind of a flaw
Speaker:yeah aesthetically okay
Speaker:and also no
Speaker:I don't think so
Speaker:I'm so used to seeing them
Speaker:you know you don't know if you get older
Speaker:because you see yourself every day
Speaker:yeah see my balls a lot
Speaker:I'm used to them being there
Speaker:if they were gone tomorrow
Speaker:I'd be like
Speaker:where those guys go
Speaker:would you miss them though
Speaker:I think so yeah
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:definitely would miss them
Speaker:but I see you not having them
Speaker:well and then did I get
Speaker:I try to guess why balls are on the outside of the body
Speaker:cause it does seem like an engineering flaw
Speaker:and is it something to do with the temperature of the
Speaker:I think I guess wrong
Speaker:I don't wanna steal your answer
Speaker:cause you told me the answer
Speaker:but I thought something like
Speaker:I don't remember what I thought
Speaker:but some was sperm
Speaker:yeah that's exactly right
Speaker:so sperm actually survive at a lower
Speaker:temperature than her core body temperature
Speaker:so if your scrotum was inside of your body
Speaker:it would be a higher temperature
Speaker:and they probably wouldn't survive
Speaker:well not probably
Speaker:they wouldn't survive
Speaker:so if my balls were on the inside of my body
Speaker:you know how much more money I would have saved
Speaker:right now what
Speaker:cause I wouldn't have any children
Speaker:oh my God bad joke
Speaker:so you're saying haha
Speaker:they're on the outside of the body
Speaker:because that's the temperature
Speaker:they need to be at room temperature
Speaker:you gotta have your balls at room temperature
Speaker:well I don't know
Speaker:I haven't exactly measured
Speaker:the sperm's temperature of choice
Speaker:but yeah they like to have a colder environment okay
Speaker:than the rest of our body
Speaker:so basically it's a mechanism that's been
Speaker:effective for helping with fertility you know
Speaker:from now on
Speaker:I'm gonna say sperm temperature
Speaker:instead of room temperature
Speaker:because that's the idea on that
Speaker:like when people out for your water
Speaker:I just bought shoes the other day and they go
Speaker:you want a room temperature or cold
Speaker:you're gonna get punched in the face
Speaker:if you say that to a waiter
Speaker:I don't think you can say that oh uh
Speaker:can I get one sperm temperature flat
Speaker:no gross do you ever get that question though
Speaker:they go do you want room temperature
Speaker:sperm temperature or cold
Speaker:no what would you say to water cold right
Speaker:I don't prefer cold water
Speaker:it hurts my teeth holy shit
Speaker:I was about to say
Speaker:they should just go
Speaker:are you wow
Speaker:I thought I did not
Speaker:I stand corrected
Speaker:it hurts your teeth okay
Speaker:are you drinking it
Speaker:are you opening your mouth before you drink
Speaker:how is it hurting your teeth
Speaker:you mean old
Speaker:you mean the temperature water
Speaker:when you drink cold substances
Speaker:yeah if you have sensitive enamel issues
Speaker:then it's cold alright
Speaker:do you prefer sperm temperature water
Speaker:I told you oh my God
Speaker:I'm never drinking water again now um Ew
Speaker:I don't know what happened
Speaker:I don't know how we got to hear from the colonoscopy
Speaker:but basically
Speaker:oh the I don't know
Speaker:prevention things like that
Speaker:so I got this colonoscopy coming up
Speaker:I gotta drink this uh
Speaker:gallon of Gatorade or something after shit
Speaker:violently and not excited about it
Speaker:I'm sure other guys have been through it
Speaker:did I tell you that
Speaker:um how often you have to have
Speaker:once you have your first one
Speaker:we've decided that's now 45 years old now 50
Speaker:once you have your first one
Speaker:how often do I need a colonoscopy
Speaker:uh so if it's normal 10 years
Speaker:if you have no substantial personal or family
Speaker:medical history
Speaker:that would make us want to do it earlier
Speaker:and your screening is completely normal 10 years
Speaker:everything you say triggers me
Speaker:I'm like oh
Speaker:it's not normal oh
Speaker:you're fine
Speaker:I'm just curious
Speaker:are you mostly concerned about the prep
Speaker:or are you mostly
Speaker:concerned about something going up your ass
Speaker:because I get a lot of both
Speaker:and I try to dispel that and tell people
Speaker:it's totally fine on both
Speaker:both aspect you know
Speaker:it's weird what you just said to me what
Speaker:that's an interesting question
Speaker:are you more concerned about the prep
Speaker:or something going into your ass
Speaker:uh huh that's what I like to say to girls
Speaker:when I bring back to my Jamie
Speaker:that's how I open up Jamie
Speaker:what are you most concerned
Speaker:I'm trying to be like
Speaker:I could find out
Speaker:so I am absolutely
Speaker:you're not gonna believe this
Speaker:I am concerned about
Speaker:uh option C
Speaker:the results
Speaker:so like the first
Speaker:I believe that that's why a lot of people prevent
Speaker:doing it in the first place
Speaker:or just refuse to do it
Speaker:cause they're scared for what they'll find yeah
Speaker:I got cause I'll do
Speaker:I'm either prep
Speaker:I'm I'm kind of excited about
Speaker:cause I feel like I might
Speaker:might maybe kind of lean
Speaker:what drinking a lot of water
Speaker:you'll finally have a shit your pants answer for me
Speaker:yes cool but that
Speaker:excites me to do something weird like that
Speaker:I don't that doesn't bother me
Speaker:I don't wanna do it at your house
Speaker:well no I guess we decided we we
Speaker:I was gonna stay at a hotel
Speaker:and then the day you go
Speaker:would you wanna just stay upstairs
Speaker:I don't think anyone's gonna hear anything
Speaker:but then we're on here
Speaker:and you said words like explosive
Speaker:I think the word violent might have been used uh
Speaker:I think what was the other one
Speaker:but not voluntary
Speaker:but intentional
Speaker:intentionally
Speaker:invoke diary
Speaker:but the thing is
Speaker:I like to poke fun at it
Speaker:because in medicine
Speaker:doctors have to have a sense of humor
Speaker:or a lot of what we do
Speaker:yeah and it gets to us
Speaker:in all honesty
Speaker:it's not that bad
Speaker:I've done it
Speaker:I've personally had a cold
Speaker:just you know
Speaker:and um the purpose is not difficult
Speaker:I think what's hard is you're awake all night
Speaker:so you're tired
Speaker:but it's not gonna
Speaker:be like violently ripping through your body
Speaker:you'll be okay
Speaker:I'm not worried about that
Speaker:I'm more worried about
Speaker:like someone hearing me or seem like
Speaker:oh do you know
Speaker:we've been dating
Speaker:for how long
Speaker:do you think
Speaker:we've been dating
Speaker:what do you want
Speaker:what do you want to say
Speaker:like a year
Speaker:yeah okay so maybe like a year
Speaker:I am I hope that you are under the impression that
Speaker:I do not defecate
Speaker:it's never happened
Speaker:never done in front of you
Speaker:I think one time
Speaker:I couldn't get out
Speaker:let me just
Speaker:can I say some honestly
Speaker:oh boy when we're at uh
Speaker:we were at Bergman
Speaker:where were we
Speaker:and we're in like Florida
Speaker:we're at Port Charlotte
Speaker:Florida right
Speaker:and we're staying at this hotel
Speaker:that was not
Speaker:it was not super awesome
Speaker:the hotel was not super awesome
Speaker:and I think I told you I go
Speaker:you know what I'm gonna go do
Speaker:I go I'm gonna go do some pull UPS
Speaker:you did the fitness room right
Speaker:and I think I did this twice
Speaker:I think it says you do pull UPS
Speaker:can I tell you some of the truth
Speaker:there is no fitness room at that hotel Jamie
Speaker:you lying son of a bitch
Speaker:not only there's not even a fitness room
Speaker:why'd you lie to me
Speaker:I went to use the restroom
Speaker:you should've just said you know
Speaker:i'mma step out for a bit okay
Speaker:I'mma hang out with my friend uh huh
Speaker:not fully a lie yeah
Speaker:I said but it's funny because I knew yeah
Speaker:you came back and you had this facial expression
Speaker:I did um um
Speaker:did a couple sets of push outs
Speaker:I told you how gross then one time
Speaker:there's only one time
Speaker:I don't even like talking about this
Speaker:I just feel like
Speaker:could we go through say we got married or something
Speaker:do you get to a point where you
Speaker:I'll be honest with you
Speaker:I've never been comfortable with pooping stuff
Speaker:like I see married couple stuff
Speaker:and there's a doors open and there's like
Speaker:I don't I think you have to maintain
Speaker:keep in mind
Speaker:I'm not a doctor
Speaker:not a therapist
Speaker:I'm not anything I think
Speaker:there has to be some things that we keep to ourselves
Speaker:for intimacy reasons
Speaker:I don't mind seeing somebody pee
Speaker:but I feel like once it goes to like
Speaker:I mean if you're in a hotel room or Disneyland
Speaker:someone's got to go in there
Speaker:there's nothing anyone can do fine
Speaker:but I think a daily hey
Speaker:come on in and smell my shit is gonna be a slow erosion
Speaker:of intimacy okay
Speaker:I'll make sure to never do that then no
Speaker:I what did you
Speaker:would you thought
Speaker:would you have disagreed before I said that
Speaker:um I think I have a much higher
Speaker:level of tolerance for that type of activity
Speaker:based on my line of work yeah okay
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:blatant unnecessary farting
Speaker:for example
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:I'm not exactly gonna be like oh yeah
Speaker:strike me back on your motorcycle
Speaker:let's go back to when you were 16 like right
Speaker:be back I love it
Speaker:I don't like the farting thingy
Speaker:that can't buy me uncomfortable talking about it
Speaker:I guess we should look back to
Speaker:what's gonna happen to you after you're cool enough
Speaker:okay when I pick you up
Speaker:I don't like farting talk uh oh
Speaker:I don't like
Speaker:I'm not into it
Speaker:I don't like the jokes
Speaker:I think when kids do it or it makes a noise it's funny
Speaker:but I must have grown up
Speaker:is this part of a
Speaker:is that in the Bible
Speaker:is this part of a case
Speaker:cause I feel like I have a sex guilt
Speaker:a pleasure guilt
Speaker:I also have like a fart it
Speaker:is that in there I don't
Speaker:did somebody get in trouble for farting in the Bible
Speaker:I think you're
Speaker:do you go to hell
Speaker:if you fart in front of a girl or something
Speaker:cause I have a weird what
Speaker:I just have a weird feeling about it guys too
Speaker:I don't think I'd fart in front of a guy
Speaker:I know it's weird right
Speaker:what I don't
Speaker:what I feel like
Speaker:that's interestingly odd
Speaker:yeah first of all
Speaker:I like it thank you
Speaker:you're much more attractive to me
Speaker:because you don't do any of that stuff
Speaker:you're like a perfect man
Speaker:I do do it you're like a Ken doll
Speaker:you're so nice to look at
Speaker:and you just don't do anything gross
Speaker:sometimes when I'm
Speaker:when I'm leaving you
Speaker:I go God I'm so sad
Speaker:I have to fly away
Speaker:what I do to save your shit
Speaker:ha ha ha and I know that's true
Speaker:I know it's true
Speaker:I know it's true I do well
Speaker:so just get
Speaker:maybe this would be the thing
Speaker:you're most uncomfortable
Speaker:now that we talk about it okay
Speaker:um you are going to rip ass
Speaker:when I pick you up from the procedure
Speaker:will they insufflate you insufflate
Speaker:pump you full of air
Speaker:okay not always
Speaker:but with the procedure
Speaker:the way that it goes
Speaker:and when you're looking at things
Speaker:there's a lot of air that goes into you so
Speaker:after the procedure
Speaker:you're super loopy
Speaker:you're not gonna remember anything
Speaker:and that's when I get to mess with you
Speaker:it'll be funny
Speaker:cause I can ask you questions
Speaker:and you'll probably answer honestly
Speaker:and say silly things oh yeah
Speaker:and then you're just gonna be farting like crazy
Speaker:is it a I hate fuck
Speaker:I hate all of this
Speaker:is there like an Uber
Speaker:should I take
Speaker:can I take an Uber
Speaker:you're not gonna have the ability to like no
Speaker:is there like an Uber X crew
Speaker:so I'm gonna hear it
Speaker:is there that
Speaker:poor Uber driver
Speaker:you know how they charge you an extra fee if you walk
Speaker:in your car
Speaker:that should be like 100 dollar surcharge
Speaker:just for coming home from a colonoscopy
Speaker:there should be hazard pay
Speaker:for driving a man home from colonoscopy
Speaker:or at least like
Speaker:some type of partitions
Speaker:I don't have to smell it
Speaker:yeah yeah shit
Speaker:quite literally
Speaker:my love it just
Speaker:all joking aside
Speaker:not not comfortable
Speaker:don't know what's gonna happen
Speaker:but maybe that's good
Speaker:it's good to get out of your comfort zone
Speaker:and you're a doctor
Speaker:so maybe things are different
Speaker:maybe you've seen more things
Speaker:you I've done
Speaker:colonoscopies I think um
Speaker:I think you're in good hands
Speaker:I think it's funny that my friend is doing yours yeah
Speaker:that's weird
Speaker:I've never even seen your butthole
Speaker:but my friend gets to touch it
Speaker:oh my God gets to
Speaker:use the term gets to in a lot of places
Speaker:where I would think you would say the other day
Speaker:you were like oh
Speaker:I got to break this guy's nose for a procedure oh
Speaker:I loved doing
Speaker:but are you supposed to get to
Speaker:well get to for touching your butthole sound
Speaker:I was saying that physiciously
Speaker:I didn't mean that
Speaker:no physician would be inappropriate like that weird
Speaker:but saying gets to break a nose oh
Speaker:it was a privilege
Speaker:like it was truly like an honor
Speaker:I was so excited
Speaker:that I got to be the one that got to break the nose
Speaker:I was helping them
Speaker:I wasn't hurting them
Speaker:I hear what you're saying
Speaker:big difference
Speaker:I'm not into butthole stuff
Speaker:but my penis didn't move when you said that
Speaker:Ew just the
Speaker:just the willingness Ew
Speaker:okay moving on
Speaker:so colonoscopy is this stuff I get what do I get
Speaker:when it's a drug situation
Speaker:you're gonna have a sedative
Speaker:um you'll be awake
Speaker:but pretty significant sedation
Speaker:you don't need a breathing tube or anything like that
Speaker:like they don't put you fully under what
Speaker:I thought I was completely out
Speaker:and then I just wake up and it's done
Speaker:you'll feel
Speaker:yeah you'll be
Speaker:you'll be sleeping
Speaker:but you still breathe on your own oh
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:it's not like when you have like massive
Speaker:major surgery where you're anesthetized um
Speaker:where we give like a paralytic
Speaker:you stop breathing on your own
Speaker:you have to have an intubation
Speaker:so they'll breathe for you
Speaker:anesthesiology is there for several hours
Speaker:making sure that everything's going well
Speaker:you don't have all of that
Speaker:you usually have like a
Speaker:a nurse anesthetist monitoring
Speaker:but it's nothing severe and it's outpatient
Speaker:so it's not like
Speaker:I have so many thoughts
Speaker:first of all
Speaker:I think I might have said this on Gutfeld once
Speaker:but did I did I ever tell you that I used to think
Speaker:local anesthesia meant that we got it from like
Speaker:around here
Speaker:yes I thought it was like honey
Speaker:like you like
Speaker:oh I like to use the local anesthesia
Speaker:it's good for my allergies
Speaker:that's true
Speaker:that's not a joke
Speaker:then I was thinking
Speaker:anesthesia allergies must make a lot of money
Speaker:they are one of the highest
Speaker:compensated physicians out there
Speaker:you know why
Speaker:I guess that
Speaker:I feel like the
Speaker:the the risk
Speaker:the liability yeah
Speaker:like imagine if you
Speaker:practice is incredibly expensive for them insurance
Speaker:cause when I worked at Arby's
Speaker:if I made a huge mistake
Speaker:that might mean I put horsey sauce on a super
Speaker:horsey sauce doesn't go on a super
Speaker:that's Arby's sauce
Speaker:this guy makes a mistake he's like
Speaker:okay wake up
Speaker:you're all done
Speaker:hello wake up
Speaker:like shit yeah
Speaker:that's like a serious
Speaker:you have a good with dosages yeah
Speaker:they also have one of the highest
Speaker:rates of physician suicide too
Speaker:they have access to all of oh
Speaker:I didn't mean to be a downer
Speaker:it's just it's every specialty
Speaker:oh access to
Speaker:cause it's easier
Speaker:they have access to the drugs or they know how yeah
Speaker:can I get a very serious question
Speaker:this is very serious
Speaker:I have once before been completely
Speaker:or partially
Speaker:consciously put out
Speaker:I had a some kind of thing in the
Speaker:my back or something
Speaker:I don't even know
Speaker:and they did a thing
Speaker:they put a mask on
Speaker:they go count backwards from 10
Speaker:and you go 10
Speaker:9 and then you go
Speaker:what's happening
Speaker:and they go
Speaker:you're done yep right
Speaker:why are we afraid of dying
Speaker:no what would have happened
Speaker:if I didn't wake up that day nothing
Speaker:so I have no memory
Speaker:of that time being out
Speaker:so I don't understand
Speaker:why the big fear of
Speaker:I have it too
Speaker:but I just was thinking about if you or
Speaker:or to take it to an even sillier thing
Speaker:like if you go to sleep
Speaker:I feel like dying is so much harder
Speaker:on the people that are still around
Speaker:but it's weird that we all have this crazy fear of our
Speaker:of not existing very
Speaker:I realize I took a turn from
Speaker:assholes to drugs to
Speaker:you don't have to
Speaker:I think the problem is with my profession
Speaker:I'm trained to prolong
Speaker:inevitable as much as possible right
Speaker:so death to a doctor
Speaker:is almost like you failed at your job hmm
Speaker:so we hate it because we haven't been able to keep
Speaker:station alive yeah
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:but I I have a fear of death
Speaker:I think also because of the pain
Speaker:cause I've seen a lot of people die
Speaker:in horrible fashions
Speaker:in front of me
Speaker:and that's been tough oh
Speaker:so yeah if you could just go to sleep yeah
Speaker:that's great
Speaker:that's the best way
Speaker:right sleep die
Speaker:that's what I'd like to do oh my gosh
Speaker:it may have had to choose
Speaker:I don't want to
Speaker:worst for me drowning
Speaker:I don't want to talk about this
Speaker:okay I'm sorry
Speaker:I almost drowned once
Speaker:it was terrible
Speaker:why um anyway
Speaker:sorry about that
Speaker:no it's just
Speaker:doctors are sidebar
Speaker:you can see how uncomfortable I am
Speaker:yes I'm sorry
Speaker:doctors don't like death
Speaker:we just don't like
Speaker:except hospice doctors
Speaker:oh really good people
Speaker:I didn't mean to make a light of it
Speaker:I was just thinking like
Speaker:as a person
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:one of the most beautiful women
Speaker:in the sense of beautiful
Speaker:like a beautiful soul was
Speaker:my dad went to hospice
Speaker:like when he had three months to live
Speaker:they go to this
Speaker:it's like a nice house
Speaker:and there's a beautiful thing
Speaker:and the people that worked there
Speaker:you're right
Speaker:it was like
Speaker:a different kind of human being you know
Speaker:and they're really good at going like
Speaker:make sure you say stuff
Speaker:don't forget to say that
Speaker:all the sudden
Speaker:it's gonna happen faster than you think
Speaker:and I'll never forget this lady
Speaker:I wish I'd remembered her name
Speaker:I remember her name
Speaker:I just remember her being like
Speaker:a special kind of person
Speaker:yeah you know
Speaker:I have an immense amount of respect for hospice um
Speaker:professionals yeah
Speaker:it's a tough job
Speaker:so you know
Speaker:I actually chose my profession
Speaker:one of the reasons
Speaker:was because my patients
Speaker:tend to be really healthy
Speaker:and I hated it when they died
Speaker:and I wanted one that had a very low likelihood of
Speaker:death rates
Speaker:yeah that makes sense
Speaker:so that's why I love what I do
Speaker:because very few people actually die
Speaker:yeah I was thinking about some of the
Speaker:yeah for real
Speaker:that would be really
Speaker:really tough way to make a living
Speaker:like to deal with that thing in a day out
Speaker:but I mean we need those people
Speaker:so I'm psyched that they are able to do that
Speaker:but I I totally understand
Speaker:you know I got a text from my friend earlier today
Speaker:when we were recording The Butthole Doctor
Speaker:not the one that's doing my guy
Speaker:you got two guys
Speaker:I do I have two
Speaker:what's he saying
Speaker:what's what's going on with him
Speaker:oh we were just I was asking about work and stuff
Speaker:but I just think it's funny that
Speaker:that's how I describe my friends
Speaker:yeah butthole guy 1 or butthole guy 2 yeah
Speaker:you're like skin guy
Speaker:yeah you have a lot of friends
Speaker:you got derm dude
Speaker:yep you got two butthole guys
Speaker:I have one penis doctor
Speaker:I'm really good friends with
Speaker:you do yeah
Speaker:she's a female urologist wow
Speaker:great conversations
Speaker:I'll bet is she married dating ugh
Speaker:can't say I don't mean for me I mean
Speaker:is that weird that a doctor sees a bunch of being
Speaker:it just seems like a lot of competition
Speaker:well I was just gonna say
Speaker:I liked your joke when you were on stage
Speaker:talking about how you're happy
Speaker:that your girlfriend is a women's health doctor
Speaker:oh yeah yeah
Speaker:about how like
Speaker:you would not be very comfortable if I saw a bunch of
Speaker:male anatomy oh yeah
Speaker:that's right yeah
Speaker:I I did say that my best friend
Speaker:one of my best friends from intern year in residency
Speaker:is a female urologist
Speaker:that's what she does
Speaker:and she's married okay
Speaker:and I'm sure it's same thing
Speaker:it's just work whatever
Speaker:but I just don't think
Speaker:I feel pretty sure in in myself
Speaker:but I don't
Speaker:I don't know if I just would want my girlfriend
Speaker:likes every day coming in like a
Speaker:do you need that kind of temptation
Speaker:you're like oh my God
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:they came in that size of that color oh
Speaker:it's temptation
Speaker:you see all the bad stuff
Speaker:she's probably like
Speaker:oh thank God
Speaker:right normal
Speaker:healthy one
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:how about that
Speaker:you know how I said that as a comedian
Speaker:we would invite people to our shows in order to hit on
Speaker:um like a girl or something
Speaker:do you think that a female urologist would go like
Speaker:come on in here
Speaker:no not necessarily urologist
Speaker:but you think that would be a way to hit on
Speaker:absolutely not
Speaker:I was thinking that when I was like oh
Speaker:how would I like
Speaker:set up the first perfect date for a guy
Speaker:I would never bring you into my office
Speaker:I hate it when I get hit on at work yeah
Speaker:worst I hate it too well
Speaker:I know you do
Speaker:but I'm like in the mentality of professional
Speaker:and then I have to basically say like listen
Speaker:we're gonna keep it going right
Speaker:never talk to me like that again or you're done
Speaker:what's the worst thing anyone's ever said
Speaker:one time I was um
Speaker:I just treated a guy for chlamydia and
Speaker:you asked me
Speaker:almost almost spit out coffee
Speaker:this is crazy
Speaker:why I do it all the time no
Speaker:but I mean you're no no
Speaker:no I know but I mean
Speaker:if you're gonna
Speaker:you're about to tell me
Speaker:he hits on you or something after this
Speaker:this is this is a great story
Speaker:I don't think I've ever told you about this
Speaker:so I was a resident
Speaker:so I was an actual doctor on rotation in
Speaker:inner city Detroit
Speaker:and we were working at a low income
Speaker:clinic that doubled as like a homeless clinic yeah
Speaker:and this patient came in
Speaker:and he had uh
Speaker:all the symptoms tested positive
Speaker:so we had given him treatment
Speaker:and as I'm leaving
Speaker:across the hall
Speaker:the other door is open and another guy
Speaker:and you know
Speaker:patient confidentiality
Speaker:we always keep the door shut
Speaker:but these guys open the doors at the same time
Speaker:I can help that
Speaker:and he looks at him and he looks at him
Speaker:he's like hey man
Speaker:what you in here for okay
Speaker:the guy gets like prison
Speaker:and I'm thinking
Speaker:they're not gonna say right
Speaker:what's in here for
Speaker:and then the other guy goes
Speaker:probably same thing as you man yeah
Speaker:cause of blank yeah
Speaker:and then and then they said the girl's name
Speaker:they were both banging
Speaker:yes they did
Speaker:no I was just kidding
Speaker:no they were dead serious
Speaker:you're kidding me
Speaker:so we treated them both
Speaker:and gave them education on how to have safe sex
Speaker:cause everybody should have as much sex as they want
Speaker:wow and they obviously didn't have it
Speaker:and the second guy on the way out said
Speaker:wow thanks DOC
Speaker:are you single
Speaker:the comedy guy
Speaker:and he looked at me and he said
Speaker:I also need a prescription for Viagra
Speaker:so on the confidence
Speaker:so he asked me for my phone number so
Speaker:and I gave him the doctor as working with business card
Speaker:and walked away
Speaker:so let me ask you this question
Speaker:so that was very awkward
Speaker:let me ask you this follow question
Speaker:he's back at your house
Speaker:you guys are talking
Speaker:Jamie I just remember how
Speaker:the other story started off so horribly
Speaker:and then you guys are playing records and kissing
Speaker:I didn't kiss him
Speaker:the other guy you did
Speaker:I just kissed him
Speaker:nothing else happened
Speaker:yeah oh I know
Speaker:I just you for some extra
Speaker:so that's but the balls
Speaker:the balls on these got like to be able to
Speaker:I can't ask a girl to have to go
Speaker:I check that box
Speaker:chlamydia also
Speaker:I need Viagra
Speaker:which means I can't even keep it
Speaker:and then to go
Speaker:can I have your phone number
Speaker:can you imagine
Speaker:I've gotten hit on multiple times
Speaker:for men asking me for Viagra
Speaker:unbelievable
Speaker:I don't understand it
Speaker:I don't either
Speaker:yeah what were you thinking about
Speaker:I was thinking that I would surprise you
Speaker:that the chlamydia didn't really bother me
Speaker:the Viagra bothered me
Speaker:I treat chlamydia all the time but the
Speaker:it's chlamydia
Speaker:sorry to interrupt
Speaker:just chlamydia
Speaker:you can cure it yeah
Speaker:very easy to try okay
Speaker:nice and the
Speaker:the why is the Viagra bother you
Speaker:cause the person it would
Speaker:that would be tough to have a relationship with
Speaker:someone who couldn't get it up
Speaker:or the fact that they wanna
Speaker:they used what is it
Speaker:what's an awkward conversation in general
Speaker:I don't like practicing men's health
Speaker:they don't do it very often
Speaker:when I have a male patient come in and say
Speaker:I'm here for a cough
Speaker:it's never a cough right
Speaker:it's always for that
Speaker:if I have a woman come in
Speaker:she'll say I'm having vaginal bleeding
Speaker:I'm having vaginal discharge
Speaker:and they own up to it
Speaker:and I often have patients who lie
Speaker:they lie to my m a
Speaker:so I go in the room thinking I'm treating a cough
Speaker:I get the whole work up in
Speaker:I look up all their labs or previous X rays
Speaker:I'm ready to go
Speaker:and they're like
Speaker:I'm just here because
Speaker:I want the Acra
Speaker:and I'm like
Speaker:dude just tell the truth
Speaker:but Erica is a man
Speaker:I get so far behind
Speaker:in my day I know
Speaker:so just own up to it
Speaker:but as a man
Speaker:if your penis doesn't work
Speaker:not speaking from experience
Speaker:but you wanna tell the fewest people possible
Speaker:that you're
Speaker:that your penis doesn't work right
Speaker:but you're in your healthcare setting
Speaker:where I've known you for years yeah
Speaker:but I'm telling you
Speaker:tell the receptionist and put it in form
Speaker:well yeah they lied to the receptions too
Speaker:I'm in the lobby
Speaker:they're like
Speaker:oh the guy this stick doesn't work
Speaker:it's your turn
Speaker:don't say that
Speaker:come on back
Speaker:and the other thing is
Speaker:I kind of don't like Viagra that much you don't
Speaker:I asked you if I could drink
Speaker:for a couple of reasons
Speaker:I'm bragging
Speaker:could I try that
Speaker:yeah you don't need it
Speaker:okay but remember I was like
Speaker:wouldn't it be fun
Speaker:and you said no
Speaker:I don't want guys who ask for it recreationally
Speaker:but the side effects too
Speaker:recreationally
Speaker:never thought about that
Speaker:well that's a problem though
Speaker:it's a medication
Speaker:the prescription was actually initially marketed
Speaker:well developed
Speaker:for hypertension
Speaker:so it's a phase of dilator
Speaker:it expands blood vessels all over your body
Speaker:including your penis
Speaker:it fills with blood
Speaker:so you get an erection
Speaker:that's usually going to last for longer
Speaker:do you know
Speaker:in the original study
Speaker:when it was to reduce hypertension
Speaker:when they come into the doctors
Speaker:the doctors thought
Speaker:they were just super psyched that they reduced
Speaker:their blood pressure
Speaker:cause they had huge erections
Speaker:this is really excited about their progress
Speaker:well the reason I don't like Viagra is
Speaker:a lot of men want it when they aren't
Speaker:appropriate candidates
Speaker:they already have problems with their blood pressure
Speaker:and they want it anyway
Speaker:right or they have underlying comorbidities
Speaker:such as diabetes
Speaker:where they can't have an erection
Speaker:and they don't want me to treat that
Speaker:they just want me to give them
Speaker:an erection
Speaker:and I have to explain to them
Speaker:I'm not trying to take away your social life
Speaker:I have to fix everything else
Speaker:but here's why
Speaker:how about you give a lot of guys directions
Speaker:by my prescriptions
Speaker:no I just mean you're unattractive
Speaker:thanks you're attractive woman
Speaker:that's why I practice
Speaker:please finish your thought
Speaker:and then I have a follow up question
Speaker:um if you actually look at the studies
Speaker:that Pfizer was doing with sildenophil
Speaker:so the generic for Viagra
Speaker:um in early studies
Speaker:they actually found that it helps substantially
Speaker:reducing menstrual pain in women
Speaker:and remember how we talked previously about how uh
Speaker:period pain is equivalent to heart attacks yes
Speaker:so they actually had pretty amazing early on
Speaker:evidence that it would help substantially eliminate
Speaker:significant pain during your menstrual cycle
Speaker:reducing mystase of work
Speaker:cutting back on lost job wages
Speaker:finances I mean
Speaker:there's a lot of stuff that goes into this
Speaker:right if women take Viagra
Speaker:yeah wow and so just to reiterate
Speaker:if anybody missed it
Speaker:period pain
Speaker:it when they tried to figure out like
Speaker:what that intensity felt like
Speaker:that was the equivalent to a man having a heart attack
Speaker:yeah that's unbelievable
Speaker:uh the cramping part
Speaker:cramping part
Speaker:uh huh yeah
Speaker:so this is what bothered me is the study even says it
Speaker:if you look at the printed material
Speaker:it says that they've had prelimed findings that were
Speaker:pretty substantially impressive to help reducing pain
Speaker:but at the same time
Speaker:they found out it gave men erections
Speaker:wow so they
Speaker:abandoned the study to help women with menstrual pain
Speaker:and dumped a lot into erection
Speaker:nice not even close
Speaker:not nice no
Speaker:cause you're saying they should have helped these women
Speaker:yeah and now the men
Speaker:they saw the money
Speaker:yep they go
Speaker:this is the
Speaker:this is like the magic pill
Speaker:wow um so that bothers me
Speaker:because they had pretty good evidence
Speaker:out there that they could have run with
Speaker:and it felt like um
Speaker:sex was chosen over chronic pain
Speaker:manager sex and money and greed
Speaker:yeah over that
Speaker:yeah absolutely
Speaker:isn't it crazy how many
Speaker:medications we discovered by mistake
Speaker:how many Medica
Speaker:isn't Rogaine one of those
Speaker:like people started growing hair
Speaker:wasn't there something
Speaker:it just started growing hair
Speaker:and someone's nipples or something
Speaker:or is that wrong
Speaker:well monoxidil has
Speaker:monoxidil yeah
Speaker:well penicillin
Speaker:like mold spores
Speaker:I mean I think that it's really interesting
Speaker:how we've developed a lot of modern medicine hmm
Speaker:yeah wild well
Speaker:I guess I'm not gonna try Viagra
Speaker:it's tempting
Speaker:as a guy you go
Speaker:you're not necessarily thinking like
Speaker:I can't perform in the bedroom
Speaker:you're going like
Speaker:Morse better
Speaker:like let's go more longer
Speaker:let's keep this going
Speaker:so it's like a fun
Speaker:almost like I'm awake
Speaker:but a coffee would make me more awake
Speaker:I'm not asleep
Speaker:I don't need coffee to wake up
Speaker:but it might be like a fun thing
Speaker:but you really warned me off that
Speaker:you were like
Speaker:you shouldn't take that
Speaker:no not at all
Speaker:I mean I'm very cautious to prescribing medication
Speaker:unnecessarily
Speaker:and you know
Speaker:I do think that they marketed it in a way that um
Speaker:tried to appeal to men
Speaker:by capitalizing on their side effect
Speaker:you know the side effect is
Speaker:you see the commercials
Speaker:what's the big side effect
Speaker:when they're like oh
Speaker:take Viagra
Speaker:but oh shit
Speaker:if you take this
Speaker:this could happen
Speaker:you're saying more people were like
Speaker:buy it now because of the side of it
Speaker:that was a trick
Speaker:they're saying like
Speaker:you might get a really long
Speaker:you might ever actually
Speaker:really long time exactly
Speaker:that's a great point
Speaker:yep it's called preopism
Speaker:and they'll say that if it lasted more than three hours
Speaker:you need to go to the er and have them treat you
Speaker:because you have this extremely powerful
Speaker:right crazy stamina erection
Speaker:those sons of bitches
Speaker:they're so clever
Speaker:I did not even think that's like them go like
Speaker:you know don't take very a side effects might include
Speaker:you might fuck a lot
Speaker:so it might
Speaker:you might miss appointments cause you're banging people
Speaker:you're right
Speaker:they're trying to
Speaker:the side effects was a positive thing
Speaker:I even think about that
Speaker:you know how many of my male patients
Speaker:when I go through the side effects
Speaker:before I prescribe it
Speaker:look at me like wait
Speaker:are you are you for real right now
Speaker:right like this is a bad thing
Speaker:but you do have to be careful
Speaker:occasionally that can happen and um
Speaker:you have a 4 hour erection yeah
Speaker:you know how you treat it
Speaker:blow jump Jamie
Speaker:no like even after you've ejaculated
Speaker:you still have an erection no
Speaker:what am I gonna do with that at this point
Speaker:well deal with it for a while and then
Speaker:so if it causes your blood flow to change after a while
Speaker:it can be quite damaging to um
Speaker:the tissue your your penis itself
Speaker:so they suggest injecting
Speaker:your penis with a shot of epidephrine
Speaker:needle to the dick
Speaker:so now you don't want Viagra
Speaker:that's the most painful thing to imagine hmm
Speaker:I don't think so
Speaker:where is it wearing
Speaker:to the right to the to the end of it
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:I've never had to do it
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:I'll take a four hour action see you in four hours
Speaker:he pulls out that needle
Speaker:he pulls out a needle
Speaker:your dick just immediately shrivels
Speaker:you don't even need the need or is like uh
Speaker:never mind I go
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:I'll see you in four hours
Speaker:I'm gonna just go
Speaker:hang out in a room with another four hours
Speaker:you want an eight hour erection now
Speaker:oh no I meant like in general
Speaker:if he's gonna do that to keep it down
Speaker:I might go let me see what I can do my own yeah
Speaker:I can come back in
Speaker:I didn't know that it happened
Speaker:I didn't know if it was after
Speaker:I didn't know if it was after
Speaker:I did not know it was after ejaculation
Speaker:it continued
Speaker:I never knew that
Speaker:I thought you're just like waiting and waiting
Speaker:it was a lot of anticipation
Speaker:and it was four hours and then you got the
Speaker:you couldn't finish
Speaker:yeah no but I will say
Speaker:and I don't wanna just like knock it
Speaker:cause I think fires on a lot of really good things also
Speaker:um I've seen women with
Speaker:Viagra as a prescription on their medical list
Speaker:hmm and as a student I was like
Speaker:what is this
Speaker:but it actually treats something called
Speaker:pulmonary hypertension
Speaker:it's one of the best medicines for it
Speaker:wow so um so Donna
Speaker:Phil can do a lot of good
Speaker:you blew my mind though
Speaker:that would be like with that side effect thing
Speaker:that it's a good thing
Speaker:you blew every
Speaker:like your cigarettes
Speaker:they're like hey
Speaker:we gotta warn ya
Speaker:if you smoke cigarettes
Speaker:like you're gonna look fucking cool yeah
Speaker:well they did that in their marketing
Speaker:right they did
Speaker:that's how they appealed to the masses
Speaker:especially youth
Speaker:yeah alright
Speaker:well that was super interesting
Speaker:so let me ask you a question about the colonoscopy
Speaker:I do it's so hard to not go back to
Speaker:you just must see so much stuff in um
Speaker:in those rooms
Speaker:those rooms
Speaker:you're alone
Speaker:you're alone with a guy oh
Speaker:and some no no
Speaker:I'm never alone oh
Speaker:oh I always have a chaperone yeah
Speaker:I know that
Speaker:I remember we're together last night
Speaker:and that guy was here
Speaker:I have a question
Speaker:I thought of a question
Speaker:what you ever seen an unnecessary
Speaker:you ever see an uh
Speaker:involuntary boner
Speaker:a couple times you have
Speaker:cause you know
Speaker:massuses and massage people
Speaker:you know there's got to be erections left and right
Speaker:I've seen some
Speaker:but like they had their clothes on thankfully
Speaker:didn't you tell me there's a way to
Speaker:there's this way to get rid of an erection
Speaker:well yeah my attending taught me that
Speaker:when we had to learn how to do a male exam
Speaker:and he basically took the
Speaker:his nail and flicked it into the head of the penis
Speaker:oh wow so now
Speaker:not as much scientific
Speaker:is just hitting something in the dick with your hand
Speaker:yeah I I could never do that
Speaker:like when he said that I was like
Speaker:is that a joke
Speaker:but he was dead serious he's like
Speaker:if someone does this to you in the room
Speaker:this is what you have to do
Speaker:and me and the other students were like
Speaker:the hell we will
Speaker:I feel like I'd get sued
Speaker:so we talked about
Speaker:colonoscopies
Speaker:hmm mine in particular
Speaker:yep we talked about what's gonna happen before
Speaker:the procedure itself's gonna be blink of an eye
Speaker:we talked about the aftermath you know
Speaker:they call it an anal wink
Speaker:what do you mean
Speaker:when you're testing the tone of your sphincter
Speaker:what are you talking about
Speaker:when you touch someone's butthole
Speaker:to make sure that they don't have any neurological
Speaker:compromise if I touch it
Speaker:it's a reflex
Speaker:to squeeze down
Speaker:so when you said blink of an eye
Speaker:you made me think of no
Speaker:for you it's an anal leak
Speaker:are you saying
Speaker:I'm just that
Speaker:you know when I hit
Speaker:that's how doctors make jokes okay
Speaker:is that a real thing yes
Speaker:so you you know how when I
Speaker:in my notes it'll say appropriate rectal tone
Speaker:yeah sometimes I'll say positive or present
Speaker:anal blink is that so
Speaker:so is this like when you hit me on the knee to check my
Speaker:my pterodactyl reflex
Speaker:yeah sure well
Speaker:yeah I mean
Speaker:it's a neurological
Speaker:response to make sure that you're neurologically intact
Speaker:you don't have a problem with your spinal cord
Speaker:I was with a girl once oh God
Speaker:and I don't like where this is going already
Speaker:yeah I'll do
Speaker:the girl wants it
Speaker:she's kind of facing no
Speaker:she's facing down and um
Speaker:she gave me an anal wink
Speaker:oh my gosh no
Speaker:I thought that might go ahead
Speaker:I thought that man had permission
Speaker:um I don't even
Speaker:I don't even know what to say to that one
Speaker:okay ain't a wink very interesting
Speaker:do you know what story that makes me think of
Speaker:no I don't wanna hear your stories
Speaker:mine are medically derived
Speaker:yours are like
Speaker:either fictitious or something that I really did
Speaker:fictitious well
Speaker:I'm hoping that you're making them up
Speaker:well the it's hard to figure out
Speaker:I would hope that you're talking about buttholes
Speaker:just to make me laugh
Speaker:but you never know
Speaker:a lot of people don't think about how hard consent is
Speaker:when the girls face the other way
Speaker:Jamie right
Speaker:that's not even a laughable one
Speaker:an anal wink is a way to go like oh
Speaker:I think I got the green light
Speaker:no yeah uh uh
Speaker:oh my God we call the anal green light
Speaker:so interesting
Speaker:I've never heard of the in a link before
Speaker:well I'm glad
Speaker:could you tell me what it means again
Speaker:you're saying it means our everything's doing well
Speaker:it's a natural reflex
Speaker:so it means your nerves are intact
Speaker:gotcha and your body goes
Speaker:oh don't like that
Speaker:and kind of tenses up gotcha
Speaker:and if it's relaxed
Speaker:sometimes you might have some neurological damage okay
Speaker:like someone's got someone's got a lazy brown eye yeah
Speaker:oh you liked that one didn't you
Speaker:yeah I just
Speaker:it's fun when you're talking about medical stuff to
Speaker:say stuff like that's super fascinating
Speaker:you don't know
Speaker:what is making me think that you're involved you know
Speaker:I'm privileges
Speaker:if you'd like me to go observe your colonoscopy
Speaker:I don't even think about that hmm
Speaker:I could be an assist
Speaker:what would you think
Speaker:I would of course not want that what would you think
Speaker:what would you think would you want you would know no
Speaker:no I don't want to be on anything
Speaker:it even mine a little too invasive with you
Speaker:I I'm curious when you are under
Speaker:how much consciousness you actually have
Speaker:like when you're not totally knocked out
Speaker:but you know what I'm gonna do
Speaker:if you're in there
Speaker:if I I'll wink at you if I
Speaker:with what I yeah
Speaker:all three ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah um
Speaker:do you know what the story I wanted to
Speaker:it's with you the wink
Speaker:what does the wink make you think of
Speaker:well now it's one of the hardest I've ever laughed at
Speaker:something you said in my whole life about winking oh
Speaker:oh the condom yeah
Speaker:what happened was all types of condoms
Speaker:there's condoms they sell at target and stuff and
Speaker:we use condoms and sometimes I go to a specialty
Speaker:store to see if they might have some higher end condoms
Speaker:and so I went to one of these places
Speaker:where condoms was the
Speaker:like there was a place that had a lot of stuff
Speaker:I didn't purchase had
Speaker:there were like whips and chains and things like that
Speaker:right yeah but a couple things with no whips or chains
Speaker:and they had high end uh
Speaker:they had high end uh
Speaker:condoms I thought
Speaker:so I bought these ones called
Speaker:they were wink brand
Speaker:and um it's
Speaker:uh oh my God
Speaker:this is probably a topic for another time
Speaker:but birth control and stuff like that
Speaker:but what happened was there was a
Speaker:there was a an error
Speaker:there was a
Speaker:what would you call it
Speaker:a mistake it uh
Speaker:it failed right
Speaker:like condoms are 99% effective
Speaker:this was that time when they are not
Speaker:and the unfortunate rupture
Speaker:well do you think it ruptured or do you think it fell
Speaker:like came off
Speaker:I thought it broke oh
Speaker:oh that was a different time Jeez
Speaker:was I there
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:wink so haha
Speaker:wow I just got really uncomfortable
Speaker:no you of course
Speaker:you were there
Speaker:oh yes okay
Speaker:I fell off yeah
Speaker:yeah and then I was
Speaker:we are both very nervous
Speaker:cause obviously this is something we take seriously
Speaker:practicing the safe section everything
Speaker:but then you said
Speaker:I think in a way to diffuse the moment
Speaker:you were like
Speaker:oh that's like their selling point
Speaker:they're like
Speaker:yeah these condoms are really secure
Speaker:and nothing bad will happen
Speaker:wink and you said that when you're on top of me
Speaker:well I think
Speaker:cause you were like wow
Speaker:it felt really good
Speaker:I should have known it did
Speaker:and I was waiting for you to be like wink
Speaker:yeah they don't talk about that a lot but
Speaker:I'm not gonna say it
Speaker:yeah I know it did
Speaker:suddenly you have to be very scared that
Speaker:if it suddenly starts feeling way better for a guy
Speaker:I didn't notice
Speaker:you can't tell
Speaker:so crazy well
Speaker:like the ribbed kinds
Speaker:you can hmm
Speaker:you know when they're textured on the outside
Speaker:yeah that's why I'll say like for her pleasure
Speaker:whatever they'll put some that are textured
Speaker:is it for her pleasure
Speaker:is that pleasurable
Speaker:I consider it to be uncomfortable okay
Speaker:but I'm sure women
Speaker:some women must like it
Speaker:okay it helps actually with stimulation for your G spot
Speaker:G spot yeah
Speaker:is the G spot the same as the clitoris
Speaker:um well yes and no okay
Speaker:yes in the sense that we're all one organ right
Speaker:um and you can achieve climax from internal penetration
Speaker:or external simulation of the clitoris
Speaker:no in the sense that when you say G spot
Speaker:it's meaning specifically internal
Speaker:I see I see
Speaker:is that right
Speaker:well it's a neurovascular bundle
Speaker:it's basically a bunch of nerves
Speaker:like nerve endings
Speaker:wow so the sensitivity is like the tip of your penis
Speaker:essentially
Speaker:oh I see do you spot inside Clitoris outside
Speaker:yes yeah okay
Speaker:good to know
Speaker:on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:we have some questions coming in um
Speaker:some people are embarrassed to ask about masturbating
Speaker:which is a very natural thing
Speaker:so we'll get into some of that
Speaker:we have some question coming in about
Speaker:birth control and what kind of you know
Speaker:I think those are two really good topics
Speaker:and so we will um
Speaker:discuss those things
Speaker:and then my last question about the colonoscopy
Speaker:not joking was what do I
Speaker:this is what started your
Speaker:what do you call an anal wink uh huh
Speaker:what am I to expect in the days following the procedure
Speaker:can I play basketball
Speaker:oh you'll be fine right away
Speaker:no like so you'll come out of the sedation
Speaker:and you'll be kind of loopy for a couple of hours
Speaker:so you need someone to drive you home
Speaker:you'll probably have a little bit of gas
Speaker:that's it okay
Speaker:and then your vows will regulate
Speaker:so you regulate those nor no
Speaker:no so you'll have a normal bowel movement
Speaker:probably the next day or so
Speaker:oh okay depending on how regular you are
Speaker:and like the beginning
Speaker:before you even have the procedure
Speaker:and then you'll be fine okay
Speaker:so you go back to work the next day
Speaker:just to warn you
Speaker:um the day I come back
Speaker:I may need to use the fitness room in your house
Speaker:but sneaking away to take her normal size dump
Speaker:you'll be exercising every five minutes
Speaker:I'm gonna get a hotel
Speaker:I'm gonna get a hotel
Speaker:I think it's the right decision
Speaker:you know what Jamie
Speaker:it won't bother me at all
Speaker:if you shit your pants all day in my house
Speaker:wink coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:yeah I guess it is an effort right
Speaker:to like wrap it up
Speaker:yeah you got some type of birth control or something
Speaker:versus just like
Speaker:yep that's noise I make
Speaker:this brings me to this question
Speaker:which kind of ties in here
Speaker:I'm really unattractive
Speaker:hey Jamie Erica
Speaker:um I have a question I
Speaker:well basically I was with somebody in the condom broke
Speaker:and it's been about two days
Speaker:so I can't take the Plan B pill
Speaker:I'm just wondering what my options are
Speaker:is your plan C
Speaker:I was not on birth control
Speaker:is there anything that you can tell me about
Speaker:about the situation that might be able to help me
Speaker:thank you wow
Speaker:so just I didn't know that was what the question was
Speaker:how long ago
Speaker:how long ago did you get that
Speaker:cause she said two days ago
Speaker:let me ask the voicemail
Speaker:let me ask the voicemail
