Episode Summary – When a person hears about a cancer diagnosis, it affects them, theirs families and friends thus the title coined by Lee’s wife, Linda Silverstein 

– “WE HAVE CANCER”. As fighting cancer IS and MUST BE a TEAMSPORT! In Episode 27 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show, my good friend and fellow stage IV colon cancer patient, survivor and advocate Lee Silverstein joins me to discuss cancer his 12-year cancer journey, diagnosis, treatment, survivorship and life. We mixed in a little hockey banter and discussed his “WEhave Cancer” podcast of over 200+ episodes and robust cancer resources now available for patients, caregivers and families.

Mentioned Resources

https://wehavecancershow.com https://www.manuptocancer.com/

https://colontown.org/

https://coloncancercoalition.org/

https://www.ccalliance.org/ https://imermanangels.org/

About the guest – Lee Silverstein - his story has two parts; one as a Career Management professional and the other as a person who has been living with stage 4 cancer for over 12 years.  As a Career Management professional, I serve as a career coach and mentor to those in career transition. I have the privilege of working with many talented and successful individuals, providing placement services to individual contributors, managers and senior executives. In my role as a Career Management Consultant, it is my responsibility to guide & inspire candidates; teaching them the most up-to-date job search strategies while instilling in them the confidence to leverage these skills to land in their next career. As a Certified Professional Resume Writer, published LinkedIn author and experienced trainer and public speaker, I facilitate career workshops, career webinars and executive career coaching. The other part of my story is that of someone who has been living with stage 4 cancer for over 12 years. As such, I've learned to appreciate even the smallest gifts that life gives us every day.  I've also learned that I'm not a statistic and that living with this dreadful disease for so many years has afforded me the privilege, and responsibility, to inspire, inform and advocate for the millions of people living with, or caring for someone, with cancer. In my podcast, WE Have Cancer - https://wehavecancershow.com - I've interviewed hundreds of patients, caregivers and medical professionals as a way to provide information, inspiration and hope to those touched by cancer.

About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

Website

Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

Social Media

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown

Instagram - @howard.brown.36

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#cancer #coloncancer #colorectalcancer #diagnosis

#treatment #suvivorship #healthcare #menhealth #motivation #education

#inspiration #podcast #download #share #shiningbrightly

Hello, it's Howard Brown and welcome to the Shining

Brightly show your Maestro with the mic. Oh, it's Hockey night.

It's Hockey night tonight and my guest is Lee Silverstein.

Welcome Lee from the beautiful state of Florida. In Tampa.

What's going on?

Thanks, Howard. Excited to be here and get to

talk to you after having you on my we have cancer podcast a

couple of times. And I'm really excited to be here and yes, it

is Hockey night. And I'm going to have to catch up here on on

game five once we get off. And you know, my day my ever loving

Tampa Bay Lightning have dug themselves a little bit of a and

hopefully we'll pull it out tonight but it's

That's alright to come back kids they will see a

better position with my Boston Bruins you know up three to two

but you got to take care of business, you know. So if you

step up on the camera a little bit, I want to see the wardrobe

that we're wearing here. Oh, we got the HP strong going on the

drive back.

This is in my workout shirt rotation. The

folks at Planet Fitness know it well.

Yes, guy as well. So I love it. Well, thanks for

the walking billboard. We appreciate it very much.

Absolutely.

Tell my audience a little bit about you give me

your bio, your background and share with us.

Sure, so you know, we're I am 12 years a

little over 12 years into a stage four colon cancer

situation, I try to avoid that battle language and fight and

all that. Not a fan of that. So we'll call it a 12 year cancer,

colon cancer journey. And I was diagnosed and you know, you and

I have heard this story dozens of times, Howard, turn 50. And I

tell people, you know, my primary care physician was very

kind. And at 50 years old, he gave me a birthday present. He

didn't take the time to wrap it, he didn't put a bow on it. But

it was a gift to go get a colonoscopy. And you know, I'm a

good patient, I'm a I'm a patient, you know, I'm complying

patient with my doctor recommended something, I go do

it. And a lot was going on in my life that time. So I did

postpone it for a little bit. And I didn't have any symptoms,

and woke up to find out that I had stage two colon cancer. So

you know, we did the surgery, took out part of the colon and

talk to the oncologist. And he goes, Yeah, you know, stage two,

I almost feel like chemotherapy would do more harm than good at

this point. We'll just keep an eye on you. And they did a CT

scan just to kind of have a baseline. And I'll never forget

I had taken my girlfriend now wife at the time, Linda, on her

first visit to New York City. And we're walking through Macy's

Herald Square. And you know, the old line if the nurse calls.

It's good news. If the doctor calls. Well, you know, so I'm

standing in the middle of Herald Square, and the phone rings. And

I hear Lee it's Dr. Strausberg. And I'm like, Oh crap. And he

goes, Yeah, that CT showed a spot on your liver. When you get

back from vacation. We'd like to do a PET scan.

But enjoy the rest of your vacation. It's like

yeah, easy for you to say. Right.

So we do the get back to the PET scan and

nothing lights up. So he said, Well, you know, it must be. And

he described it with some word that had at least 12 letters in

it. I don't recall what it was, but said it was benign, likely

benign, so we kept an eye on it. Fast forward about a year and a

half. Linda became my wife. We went off on our honeymoon came

back and I looked at my phone and they're on my to do list is

six month checkup at the Moffitt Cancer Centre in Tampa, Florida.

I was like, Oh yeah, I gotta go do that. It was like, it was so

far in the back of my mind. Because, you know, we'd move

quick. We'd done you know, every six months, you didn't even

think about it. Right? So I go do the scan and the scan. He

says you know that spot on your liver? I'm like, Yeah, from over

a year ago because yeah, it's gotten a little bigger. Just to

be on the safe side. I'd like to do a biopsy. It's like, all

right. New Year's Eve. We had just bought our bottle of

champagne to celebrate our first New Year's Eve as a husband and

wife. We were two and a half, three hours from a nice dinner.

Very nice. Steak house, and four o'clock the phone rings. And it

wasn't the nurse. And I'll never forget Howard the exact words

that I heard on the phone, he said, Lee, it's Dr. Strausberg.

I hate calling you on New Year's Eve with this news. But your

biopsy came back positive for metastasis for colorectal

cancer. And I need you in my office on January 2. And that

started propelled us on the, you know, metastatic colon cancer

experience that I've been on since my initial diagnosis in

March 2011. With, you know, progression, stability,

progression, stability, never achieved any D, no evidence of

disease, but we'd go six months, nine months and things would be

stable. And then something new would prop up, as we commonly

refer to in the colon cancer community is we're playing whack

a mole, and currently back in chemotherapy for more

progression. And that's where I sit right now.

Well, I want you to repeat something that when we

met, okay, and I have to tell you, our stories are eerily

similar except that I was stage three out of colonoscopy at 50.

And again, we'll take a quick timeout. It's now 45. To go get

screened, okay. You listen, if you're 45, Go, Go call your

doctor, go get an appointment. If you do a colour guard or fit

test at home and it's positive, you're gonna have to go get a

colonoscopy anyways, it's good sleep, I gotta have my next

week. I have them every other year now. But go get screened.

Because unless you have family history or any type of symptoms,

and we know younger people are gonna get screened and save

yourself the pain that mainly go through with surgeries and side

effects and chemo and clinical trials and all the all the BS,

it's hard. I mean, we want to save you from that.

All those things are a whole lot worse,

worse than a colonoscopy.

absolutely

If youre nervous about a colonoscopy. Oh,

I heard this. I heard that. Whatever you heard, none of it

is as bad as going through what Howard and I have experienced.

And we when we put our families through and our caregivers, your

wife, Linda, my wife, Lisa, so I want you to tell me so because

you thought you know, you're retired now you did so many

podcasts for seven years over 200. And whatever, someone and I

got lucky, I don't know how many people got to be on twice. But

maybe because I had two cancers that are lymphoma, my hand

calling.

But but so so the doctor calls you and says you

have cancer. Tell the story about what Linda said to you.

And this is really endearing and how you got the name for your

website and your show.

Yeah, so thank you for bringing that up. You

know, I was lamenting, you know, the news and you know, on more

than one occasion and saying, you know, God, I can't believe I

have cancer. And she would stop me and she said, Sweetheart, we

have cancer. This doesn't just affect you. Right? It affects

all of us. And the long story of that was the podcast that I've

put on hiatus will say that I won't say I've shut it down.

It's still available out there. But the podcast originally was

the colon cancer podcast. And I was sitting in talking with some

friends and dear dear friend of mine said, Well, he's like you

do all these interviews is that all you talk about his colon

cancer. And I call it one of those lightning bolt moments

where you go, Whoa, I didn't even think you know, kind of hit

you. Right? And I was like, yes. So um, but we talk about being

caregivers and we talk about, you know, just life with cancer,

you know, maybe 15 20% of what I talk about with people, is colon

cancer specific. And he goes, Well, don't you worry that

someone who doesn't have colon cancer might benefit from

hearing your show, but they see quote, unquote, the colon cancer

podcast and they scroll past it. Like you're absolutely right. So

I work with a friend who's a marketing and branding

professional, and, you know, trying to rebrand this thing.

And I said, it came to me and said, it's exactly what Linda

said, it's we have cancer, right? And it's we not just us

in our caregivers, it's us in our families. It's us and our

community who doesn't know somebody that's been touched by

cancer, right? So you can make a case even though, you know,

hopefully you don't have it and you don't have any loved ones

who've had it. But I promise you, you know, somebody who's

been touched by it, so we're all touched by we all can say we

have cancer That's a part of our life.

100%. And listen, and I even sum it up even in a

nice tight bow is that fighting cancer, like living your life is

a team sport. And if it isn't a team sport, it needs to become a

team sport. Because we don't talk all about cancer, we just

spent the last half hour talking about hockey and catching up and

our kids and your grandkids and real life and real stuff that

matters. So yeah, cancer is 20% of it. But if we just want one

more second, one more day, to another week with our families,

and, you know, we'd prefer to move on and not have to deal

with this. But we do. And we these are the deck of cards that

we were dealt, we got to play out our hand. And that's

important. So when we say hashtag, go get screened,

hashtag go get screened. And again, I also expand that too,

because Mamography, prostate, your cardio, your nutrition,

your dentist, I don't really care, go, go, go keep up with

your health and keep up with your checkups. Because if you

can't lift yourself up, things can get dark. And that's where

shining brightly comes in. Because if you can lift yourself

up and shine your light to someone just like this might

affect someone listening to this podcast, you know, might go get

screened, might save them a whole lot of hell, you know

what, then you can lift up others. And that's what it's all

about in building that community. So I want to change

subjects for a second and talk about you know, you and I are

two guys with cancer and there was like no support out there

for us listen, hole in town and blue hope nation and fight CRC

and Colorectal Cancer Alliance and Poland cup. There's there's

resources out there, like nothing just for men, like the

like the pink and the breast cancer folks have had. And I

want to talk to you about a group Man Up To Cancer that

we're in. And we don't talk a lot of science there. But But

boy, do we talk a lot of support this man cave, this is howling

of the wolves that our good friend, Trevor Maxwell and Joe

Pollack and team have put together I have to tell you that

this, this idea has sparked a movement. You know, I just I

love I love it when you know, someone's in there and saying

I'm having problems talking to my kids and five guys jump in

there and support the hell out of somebody. And then they fight

over pineapple and pizza because you got to be stupid. But, but

tell me this because I really think that as men, we're not

that smart sometimes. But a really smart thing for any type

of cancer is to come on and join man up that cancer and be there

for the brotherhood and things like that. Talk to me your

thoughts

without a doubt. And you know, you know,

it dawned on me really early on, and I've been involved in all

the groups that you've mentioned, Howard. And I've been

to a number of the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, conferences

and, and all that. And my wife, Linda came with me to a couple

of them. And I'm looking around I said to her, I was like,

where's all the dudes? You know, this, this conference? It's all

women, and maybe you know, 20 25%, guys, and as you and I both

know, colour, colorectal cancer strikes, men and women pretty

much equally, right? And you go on these Facebook groups through

these various organisations, and they are incredible, and they're

wonderful. But it's 90% women, right? And I remember

interviewing, and I think it was, I don't I don't want to say

who was because I might get it wrong. But one of the people I

interviewed on the podcast, guy said, Men don't want to sit

around in a circle and talk about their feelings. Right?

Especially in front of women. Right? And there was proven So

Trevor and Joe come up with this idea to create this private

Facebook group and this community called men up to

cancer. And it's amazing. What you see happening there is

what's not happening in these other groups, men being

vulnerable men saying I'm struggling, men, you know,

saying you know, I need help, which you do not see, you know,

and what, you know, whatever you want to, you know, frame the

reason as, I think it's just a gender thing that men don't want

to show vulnerability in front of in front of women So and, you

know, the group is open to all types of cancer doesn't

discriminate on sexual preference, gender, you know,

cancer type, religion and those things, everybody's welcome. But

the amount of vulnerable vulnerability that's expressed,

and the amount of support coming back to those of us, me

included, I have shared my struggles and my down days as

well, because even when we have an amazing support system like

you and I are blessed with, sometimes you just don't want to

burden them, you will, you know, you'd rather go to a neutral

party, if you will, right to share what's on your mind in a

safe space. And you talk about identifying an untapped need. In

this instance, Joe and Trevor, and all the guys that run this

group, they have absolutely hit it out of the park, and done an

amazing service for the men who are dealing with cancer.

Yeah, I couldn't say it any better. I mean, this

is like the I was never a fraternity brother. But this is

a fraternity. There's a bond that builds that people actually

there's mentorship going on. And again, I have a chapter in my

book on mentorship is leadership. It's basically being

a mentee, and being a mentor are selfless acts where you care for

one another and take interest in one another. And it's also part

man cave, there's sports, there's, there's booze talking.

But I gotta tell you, when someone raises the white flag,

boy, boy, two people come out in numbers, but also people share

their victories too. And it's not just for that. And there's,

it's really a very warm community. And I think that's

what surprises most people, because it's also a little bit

of a locker room and all that it's all that mixed into one.

And I've just, I'm just so pleased at the growth and the

support and that the shape is taking, because you don't know

when you first start something and you invite a few of your

friends. But I gotta tell you, there's people with, you know,

cancers that don't really want to talk about Brett mal breast

cancer, right, you know, testicular cancer losing and

not, you know, prostate cancer. I mean, there's all cancers are

welcome. And for those caregivers that are men as well,

that are taking care of folks, and there's something for

everybody. And listen, you don't have to be so vocal in there

too. You can just absorb and take in some of the great wisdom

that's being shared as well and many do. But for those that do

actually come out and get jump on a pot or a zoom and and go

for that support that way. There's a lot of benefits this

and then tell them about the the big retreat, they have the

gathering of the wolves in Buffalo.

Yeah, so they had the first one last year and

I wasn't able to go and they're doing it again this year at a

like a sleepaway camp ground it looks like just outside of

Buffalo, the weekend after Labour Day, and as soon as I saw

that, it was going to be happening again this year. I

couldn't sign up quick enough, right. And I'm really looking

forward to meeting a lot of these guys that you'll only know

through the screen. Right? And I know they had guys from

literally, you know, even I'm over from Europe. That's the

other thing about this group is you've got guys from all over

the world. Right. And, and just to go off on a little tangent. I

know when I was first diagnosed, Howard, you know, I wasn't shy

about looking for some sort of a in person support group. And all

I could find was breast cancer. Right? That's all that was out

there. Right. There were some caregiver groups. So again, you

know, they they've really fulfilled, fulfil that a need

here. And I just have so much admiration and respect for what

they've done with this community.

Listen, I think they had 60 They'll probably

have, you know, maybe he could be 80 or 100. You know, men

coming together. I know that they sit by the campfire,

everyone gets to, you know, share if they want to. There's

cheers, there's tears. There's tonnes of laughter It's a lot of

fun and bonding that happens with this and I gotta I gotta

see if I can get myself there too, because it's an

opportunity. I don't want to miss out.

And I understand there's a big US

versus Canada cornhole tournament. That's going on.

Boys will be boys. Competitive, right? Again, heavy

rock throwing, and it'll be a competition but the upper right.

So listen, sitting around watching guys playing cornhole,

or whatever type of Delta regular beverage you have.

There's nothing better. The nice summer of Buffalo, New York. So

don't tell me this. And we'll kind of we'll bring the show

wrapped up a little bit. But this is really important because

you and I know each other, and I'm dealing with the seven years

and then before I you know, you know 32 years ago I had my first

diagnosis of lymphoma and miracle, my twin sister was an

exact match. But you said to me, and again, I don't know if

people can actually realise this, you said that it's been

the best 12 years in the worst 12 years of your life. Talk to

me about that and tell people what that means.

I have said, I'll correct you. I've only said

it's been the best 12 years. I've not said it's been the

worst 12 years. And I say that Howard with no hesitation and

someone who listening is probably going fast catch stage

for cancer has been dealing with it for 12 years, is he flipping

out of his mind, these have been the best 12 years. But when I

stop, and I look at what's happened in my life, in the last

12 years, and I'll just briefly summarise it. I got a second

chance at love and met my wife and we just celebrated in

December, our 10 year anniversary, I got an amazing

new job. I saw two kids graduate college, get engaged, get

married, I've got five grandchildren. And bond you and

I share. So I'll drop a little drop a little Yiddish here. I've

seen so many symbols. And for our non Jewish friends, that

word means celebrations and happy occasions. I've seen so

many, you know, weddings, and like I said, grandchildren and

all of these things. And oh, by the way, I got cancer. And when

I compare the list of all the great things that have happened

in my life, and the one thing that sucks that I'll guess which

list is a whole lot longer, right? Does that mean the cancer

experience has been easy and without struggles? Absolutely

not. And when I'm sitting there the weekend after chemo, you

know, barely able to move off the couch. It you know, it

sucks. There's no other way to put it. But that doesn't change

how I feel about what's happened to me in the last 12 years. They

have with no doubt Howard, been the best 12 years of my life.

I appreciate that. Mazel Tov means congratulations,

because you mentioned besides, you know, getting a good job,

you mentioned life events and memories. Okay, that's what's

really important, okay, you don't even have 144 characters

to put on your tombstone, right? It's loving, you know, Husband,

Son, and Grandpa, you know, that's what's matters. And

that's what you that's why the list is so long. And I

appreciate that not not. And that's why I wanted you to say

that because I want people to understand that, besides those

life events, some of the most amazing people that an amazing

experience I have been able to have these last seven years are

because of that, right? I never would have been a book author, I

never would have been speaking on stages, I wouldn't have been

podcasting, we wouldn't have met Stacy hurt introduced us and

said you guys have to meet your stories are very similar. And we

just, we had to do it. But we both agree that Cancer sucks. No

doubt about it. There's nothing good about it. But we but the

good thing is that we have met some of the most amazing people

and had amazing experiences. Because I think that we are very

intentional. And we take our lives pretty seriously because

we know how vulnerable it can be 100%.

And, you know, then those are even things I

didn't even put on the list, Howard, you know, the

opportunity to meet so many amazing people like yourself.

The flip side is, and if you haven't experienced this through

the podcast, I know you have without the podcast, you know,

the challenges is when you go back and well, you know, you

know how many former guests are no longer with us. Right? And

that's, that's the yin and the yang of getting yourself very

involved in the cancer community is just by definition, there's

going to be lost there. But the amazing people who have touched

my life, and opportunities for speaking podcasts, and all those

things are also part of that list. And to your point about,

you know, memories, experiences, I put so much extra value in

those things. We go to concerts, we go on vacations, you know,

hey, let's go grab a beer at the local brewery. All these things

are just, you know, sitting on the couch and watching something

on Netflix with my wife. I don't even take that for granted.

Right. That to me is also a special occasion. I'm not shy

about telling people that we'll put music on in the house and

Linda and I will dance in the kitchen. Right? And because

that's what we love to do and That's just another way of just

celebrating our love and celebrating her life. And I and

I don't take any of that for granted whatsoever.

Listen, we both know many people that are still

in the battle. And in the stage for cancer world we do live with

death. And it's not that they gave up it's that the cancer

burden became too great. And then God called them and called

them up to heaven. And it is very tough. That is a very tough

about and they know about this whole thing. But the

appreciation that you expressed dancing with your wife in the

house, it's beautiful. Those are the beautiful moments so so the

I want you to put on your sunglasses now take off your

glasses. For those those that are listening and not viewing

this although to get to YouTube. We are wearing our shining

brightly sunglasses, because the shining brightly spotlight is on

Lee Silverstein, Lee, tell everyone how they can get in

touch with you. And then also give me some final comments. And

we'll call this a wrap shortly.

Certainly, so you can find me on Facebook, you

can find me on Instagram at Lee Silverstein and the

wehavecancershow.com website but if you just go on Apple podcasts

or Spotify and search, we have cancer podcast, you'll find a

back catalogue, as Howard mentioned of like 200 episodes,

we've interviewed patients, survivors, caregivers, medical

professionals around all kinds of cancer. And there's something

there for anybody that's been touched by cancer. And I greatly

appreciate Howard the opportunity to shine brightly

with you today. And share my story.

I love it. And so I this is Howard Brown and you

can always find me at shiningbrightly.com and Lee you

are a brother in arms and we join hands together we hope our

hockey teams win but but more than that, you you're a dear

friend and I think about you all the time and we you brought me

onto your show twice and we we watch out for each other and

that's that's that's what we do in this world is that we check

on each other that we watch out for each other so we will shine

brightly to make the world a better place for ourselves for

others in our communities, and keep shining always thank you.