Today, Mark sits down to unpack a toxic texting conversation between two partners. The texting conversation ranges from defensive, to offensive, to throwing blame, and being weak. Mark coaches us through how to have a healthier, more productive conversation that bridges the gap between the masculine and feminine and leaves both parties feeling accomplished. It’s time to let go of your defensiveness and anger and communicate more effectively.
“Your anger is a secondary emotion because you have something behind that you don’t know how to process outward.”
- Mark Santiago
Text Conversation:
Woman: “I haven’t had time to finish the first chapter, I’ve been on the go. I am going to take it to work with me though.”
Man: “Shocker. You had time, you chose to use it in other ways. It’s always something with you.”
Woman:“Okay ----”
Woman:“I can’t make you happy.”
Man: “Then tell me you’re done so I can have some closure”
Woman: “I’m sorry you can’t handle not being my main priority. Right now I am done because you do nothing but criticize.”
Man: “I didn’t criticize you at all. I just acknowledged that you told me you would do something three different times and you chose not to… I’m not a priority to you at all. You can just forget the “right now” part of your statement.”
Woman: “You chose to believe that. If you weren’t a priority I wouldn’t waste my time responding.”
Man: “This is going beyond my boundary. If you want to have a conversation, I’ll answer the phone.”
In This Episode
- Mark breaks down a toxic text exchange between man and wife.
- Responding out of pure emotions can set the wrong tone for a conversation. As men, we have the power to set the narrative.
- Empowered men lead their wives in conversations and take charge instead of using “You” statements and slinging blame.
- Healthy text conversations involve SLOWING down to stop yourself from responding out of a place of pure emotion.
- Be actually curious about what is going on in your wife's life. Are you willing to go to bat for this person?
- Taking ownership is a BIG thing for empowered men. We own our side of the equation so if things go south, it’s not because of us.
- Women and men communicate differently-- men are physical and women are emotional.
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