Shownotes
What success means to you, might not mean the same for anyone else. And, that's okay. What your version of success is and achieve success on your own terms, is key. We challenge conventional notions of success, exploring how to align your goals with your values and passions. Dive into discussions on self-discovery and defining your purpose.
I am delighted to say that I'm going to share this space with a very special lady, Emma Hine. Emma is a business strategist helping predominantly female business owners to launch & scale their business so that they can become their own version of successful.
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Transcripts
Episode 19 - Success
Transcript
::Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.
::Welcome to episode 19. I am delighted to say that I'm going to share this space with a very special lady, Emma Hine and Emma has got so many different angles to share with us. We before we were recording, we were deciding how can we get the best out of this for you as the listener.
::So we're going to this week focus on success, what success might be for one person compared to someone else. And Emma has got a great story to share. So Emma, welcome.
::Thank you so much for having me absolute pleasure to be here.
::Brilliant. So tell everyone a little bit more about who Emma is.
::OK, so I'm a certified business strategist. And when you think of business strategies, do you always think of the structure, the boring stuff, the plans, the procedures, the processes, the all of that stuff that sits there? But I like to think of myself as it a business.
::Strategist with a bit of a fluffy twist.
::Because my focus is very much on not just growing the business financially, but growing a business so that you can become your own version of successful. Now the reason I do that and the reason I'm so passionate about adding that in is because I grew my own financially successful business, but I never felt like I was successful.
::The business sort of took over my life and that's why now my passion is very much about making sure that you grow your business your way.
::I love that and I think it is so important, isn't it for us to sometimes pause and think about?
::Out when you are starting a business or a career, I suppose, or something ambitious in life is to really think about what's driving you to make sure that the thing that's driving you to do.
::It is you.
::And what you love, and I think you can tell us a little bit more about your story to help us see how you did it.
::Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I could talk to you all day, but I'll try and keep this as short and sweet as I.
::Can so you don't all.
::Fall to sleep on us. So as a child I was told that I was never gonna make anything of myself. I wasn't the best behaved child in school. But I wasn't the naughtiest either. But that is what I was told.
::So as my sort of career progressed, I went into corporate and I did the thing I grew myself. I moved up and up the corporate ladder and I realised I wasn't getting what I wanted out of life. I wanted more freedom. I wanted less structure, which is considering my business strategy. It's it's quite funny really, but I wanted less structure in the sense that I got more trace over what I did.
::And when I.
::Did it so I launched a business. I launched an e-commerce business. Over the years, my focus for that business was very much about growth. I wanted to get the business to a financial position where I could in my head, make the outside world look like I was something and that I had made.
::Something of my life. So it grew and grew and grew, and at the expense really of of me. I was working ridiculously long hours all my time and focus was business. All the stuff, the normal stuff that we talk about, the things that I wanted, the freedom.
::Went laptop came on holiday. The children. It was like they had to book time with me to to see me. So it just took over my life didn't make me happy at all. Very, very unhappy. I reached a point where.
::I realised that.
::Yes, I had a lot of material stuff in my life and I had grown a business to a level that people were, I think, envious is the word to use. I used to have people all of the time saying to me they would love my life. They would love my business, but I just wanted to say you don't you?
::You really don't. It looks great, but it isn't.
::And I reached a point where I thought, what am I doing this for? Who am I actually doing this for? And the answer wasn't me. The answer was I wasn't doing this because it's what I wanted to do. It was because I was trying to prove something to other people, to people who don't even matter to me. It was a teacher when I was sort of 14.
::15 years old. It didn't matter at all, but that is what I've got in my.
::My head so I did. I made huge changes. Massive changes effectively walked away from a 7 figure business, which is a scary thing to do, but I did it because I knew I needed to. I knew that if I didn't, life was gonna become. I don't know what it was gonna become, but it wasn't gonna be a nice place to be.
::So I changed and I started a new business.
::Is doing something that I love following my passion, this time on my terms.
::I love that, but.
::I think the thing that's most important that we need to just come back to for.
::The listeners.
::Is if there's something that you were told, is it just? It's proof, isn't it, Emma, that you can go so far back? I mean, my stuff from my childhood.
::Or so I was told. You know, you're not. I was basically made to believe that.
::I wasn't good.
::Enough couldn't get anything right no matter what.
::I did. There was always a comment or a criticism, so I spent years not feeling like I could do what was right for me because I was desperately trying to please others. So I think we need to be mindful, don't we of if there is things that you are listening to, regurgitating whatever you want to call it in your life that is holding you back.
::Or even you might.
::Not even realise that that's what's holding you back at the moment and I think that's the thing, isn't it? Because this is this thing about success, you know, success is different to every single person. One person. Success. Somebody doing, getting a brilliant job is their success. And that's fantastic, isn't it? But I think one of the things that.
::If you're going to take a little action away from, this is if there are voices or comments or things that are still playing around, get them out. Get them written down, talk to somebody about them. Is that.
::You would.
:: ong time ago. It wasn't until: ::In all of those years, I I I knew I had this voice in my head, but the voice wasn't at the front, so it wasn't obvious to me what the, what the problem was. I knew I wasn't doing something that I was enjoying, but I hadn't yet even realised that that voice was there.
::And I haven't.
::And I think that's what we're saying. I mean, that's why these podcasts and the work that we both do is is happening because we want to fast track people, don't we? I don't. I was well into my 40s before I really started to listen to myself. So I was, you know, definitely in that space. But we wanna fast track people. We wanna say wherever you are.
::Whatever your age.
::You are actually. It doesn't even matter what.
::Age you are if you are if.
::You know that there's things that are around your.
::Hopes and dreams that are connected to someone else. Let's pause and let's notice. And I think that is the strategy in itself and it's something that you can people can take on.
::But I think the other thing that's important that I'd like to explore a little bit is that whole piece around not just finding what you love.
::But looking for where?
::The blockages are.
::Where the things that you tell yourself you are? Because I think your stories really compelling, Emma, and that you did leave a very successful business and you move from something else and you obviously you can tell us about that in a minute. But I.
::Think the fear?
::Of of that is often a one of the barriers as well to our own successes is that.
::Not only what will people think, because that's certainly something that I can talk about, but I think.
::The scary bit of I'm gonna actually do it. I'm gonna do what I love, and I know I left the NHS, so I wasn't in a big figure salary, but I was in a permanent post with the pension.
::And everyone was saying you've got safety, you've got security, but you sure you're going to leave and set up on your.
::Own and I.
::Was just like. Yeah. Yeah. So I think we need to.
::Explore that a little bit. Don't me. Emma. What was your kind of way of of actually doing it, really, of of saying, you know what? I'm gonna take the plunge and I'm gonna do it.
::Yeah, I mean, I.
::Haven't got a clue at that point what I was going to do.
::I just knew it had to be something different from what I was doing at the moment. It wasn't the hard work because I'm not afraid of hard work. I still work hard because I like working hard, so it wasn't the fact that I was working hard. It was the fact that I was working hard, but still not feeling any pleasure out of the day. It was the fact that I was still dreading.
::Getting up in the morning, going into work, it it just wasn't giving me what I needed and I just knew that if I didn't do something about it, that that was gonna be the rest of my life. The rest of my life was gonna spend being unhappy and at.
::Point I knew I was unhappy, but I didn't know what happiness looks like. I had no idea what happiness looked like to me, and you hadn't got it, but I knew I didn't know what it was now.
::I I had thought that the only way out was to completely close down the business, to walk away from that and start afresh. Now, I didn't completely do that at the beginning because I was being a little bit sensible.
::Well, as business strategists to do, I knew that if I walked away, it was a business that me and my husband were in together. So if I walked, we walked completely away from that business. It was going to put us into a position where we had no income coming into the House at all.
::So we created a plan that enabled us to shrink it down.
::Drastically, and it was a drastic shrink down, but it was the best thing we've ever done, because once I'd done that, I then had the headspace to do the.
::Who is Emma? Go and find out who Emma is. What gives Emma pleasure. What does Emma want to do? And that's when it became very clear to me that actually, what I wanted to do was take all of my learnings from growing and walking away from this seven figure business to help other people to grow business. That gives them that success that they actually want.
::Not what is perceived as success.
::And I think again, it's so important for us to hear other people saying that because there are so many people who know.
::That they're not happy doing what they're doing, but they don't really know.
::Why? Maybe or maybe they do know why? Maybe it's to do with the business they're in or the people around or something. Or it's just that heart desire.
::And yet it.
::Is so scary to actually do it if if people just focus on the scary, but if you get the plan that you've just said, and I'm sure you've.
::Got some other little tips for people to start to think about. Someone who's listen.
::And and they think, do you know what? I'm not.
::Doing what I.
::Love and what is just my success look like? What other little tips do you think? And maybe you went through that?
::Yeah. I mean, to me the, the, the key thing is, yes, you need to have a plan to make sure that you're doing it in a way that is going to not make your life worse, so to speak. But I think also it's you really need to get to know yourself.
::I think any, whatever you're gonna do in your business, you need to really get to understand who you are and what you stand for. You know, what is your vision? What is your mission? What are your values? What are the things that you really want to make sure that your business has built into it? And how are you gonna use that to, you know, to work with other people? So yes.
::It's about finding something that you enjoy because that's really important. If you love what you're doing, it never feels like work, does it? It's it's, you know, it never feels like work.
::That's great, but you've got to also make sure that it's giving you that same.
::Pleasure. So you've gotta make sure that your mission is there. Your vision is there and that you, you you know what your values are. You know what you're prepared to do and not do business is is scary. And when you do something like I did, when you make a drastic change to a business or like Alison, you're walking away from your career within the.
::HS when you do something like that it is scary and people will question it. People will think you are silly people. Will you know, judge you they will. And there's no point pretending that they won't because sadly, that's what people do. But the principle is it doesn't matter because what actually matters.
::Is you you actually having a business that you enjoy, you actually having a life that you you want to be part of and that will only happen if you're prepared to have a plan and know exactly what it is you want.
::To achieve.
::And what we're saying is.
::It is going to be out of your comfort zone, isn't it? And this would be the same if somebody was listening in and wanting to change their career to be something completely different or push themselves to a higher level within a business as well. So obviously some of what we're talking about does relate to any any aspect of changing a big.
::Thing in your life.
::Or a small thing actually.
::But I think just like.
::Say, thinking about your doubters, you're that they might be having that doubt because they can't see themselves doing it. I mean, that was definitely my experience. People who were in the NHS.
::Who were obviously quite happy there. We're.
::Saying oh.
::You can't do that, but that's cause that's what they didn't want.
::To do and that's fine, yeah.
::And I think it's just like you say, it's listening to people.
::Who can support you? But I I I sense as well, and particularly with your professional experience, it's help having somebody who's going to be real and realistic.
::With you as well to help you make some of those plans exactly. It's really important to have the right people in your world to surround yourself with the right people from a business perspective. And those people aren't always your nearest and dearest. They're not always, you know, your husband, your wife, your children, your grandparents, your aunties, your best friend.
::And not always the right person. People, should I say, to speak to from a business point of view. So having connections from a business perspective is a huge, huge game changer in terms of.
::Of giving yourself what you need from your business, and that's can be somebody that you're working with as a mentor, strategies to coach whatever it is or just people that I like to call business besties. These people that you like to have in your world that you just connect with surrounding yourself with the right people is another key tip. That is because those people will encourage.
::Our belief system to keep going and I for me, our belief systems are are created by the people around you. So if you are somebody who's been brought up.
::With somebody very encouraging, you're likely to have higher self belief if you're if you've been brought up with somebody who's less encouraging, it's not an exact science, but you're absolutely definitely likely to be less confident in yourself way. So for me, it's people who are gonna say, come on, you can do it.
::Find a way or help you find ways, because there's always you know that saying isn't there, you know. Don't give me a problem. Just find me three solutions to the problem. And I I would imagine that's so important, isn't it? When we're setting up businesses or we're making big career changes.
::Yeah, absolutely. Always to have some key goals to always have some key goals and to have somebody to, to help to you on having somebody there for accountability makes a massive difference. Now I always say to anybody that if if if you're not in a position to be able to invest in accountability, then use some little techniques to help yourself.
::Write it down. Always write down what you want to achieve, because that is gonna make you far more likely to to to achieve what it is.
::Use your. Use your audience, use your socials. So put something out there to say hey, this is what I'm.
::Gonna do because you've put it.
::Out there. Once you put it out there.
::You're gonna feel more.
::I better do that cause I've told people I'm gonna do it. So. So use what you've got until you're.
::In a position.
::To be able to invest in that support.
::Personally, and I think it, you raise a good point about sharing with others because one of the things I'm really keen to do is for us to use some of the patterning and the habits that we have within us as a human to our advantage, so.
::If we do, we don't want to do comparison Itis because that doesn't serve us when we're comparing ourselves to others unfavourably. That's not what we're saying. But when you use a mechanism that goes, I'll tell someone else and that will make me do it because that sends us to throw us all back to building to please our parents and our teachers. So we have that.
::Let's use it. Let's use it to a net positive advantage. So we're not worried about what they think, but we're sharing it so that that helps us go. I don't.
::Want to feel embarrassed?
::I don't want to have to say I.
::Haven't done it.
::So let's use that. That mechanism that we all have as humans, we don't want to let other people down.
::So share it with somebody else and then you're more likely to get it done.
:: ::Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think I think all of this stems down to actually understanding what success means to you as an individual. And I know we touched on this earlier that you know success isn't the same to one person as it is to the next person. And I think it's the minute you actually completely.
::Honestly, hand on heart, know what success means to you. And I don't mean you're looking at other people on Instagram and Facebook and all of these places and seeing them doing all of these fantasy.
::Things, because I promise you what you see is not the full picture for anybody, for absolutely anybody. A lot don't share that. A lot won't share the the really fancy stuff. I don't. I'm dead open and honest. If anybody follows my socials, you'll see me talking about good stuff. You'll see me talking about the bad days, because that's real. That is real life. That is real.
::Business. So I think you know you really need to dig deep and understand what success means to you and that isn't always about.
:: is. So if you want to earn £: :: e you going to do with that £: ::But actually what you do with that money, what you do with your time?
::To get that money is what's going to make you feel like a successful person. So you really need to dig deep and understand what your version of success is.
::That's a really good exercise and I think some of the things that come out of those kind of exercises are often old habits or things that we've been listening to. So an exercise that I think is bringing to my mind is asking yourself, what is success is.
::And then list all the things that successes to you and then success is not and list all the things that success is not because I in there you might flush out some of the things that were quite old, so.
::Something I hear people say quite often is they were told when they're younger, don't show off.
::Don't you know? Don't be. Don't be too.
::Fancy with yourselves and that can play out current it. So if we're going to be successful, we need to make sure that we haven't got some of these old things hanging around that might be getting in the way of us actually being that brilliant success.
::Yeah, yeah, completely. And and don't compare. I know we're linking back to where we've already talked about. Just don't compare yourself to other people. Don't think that because somebody's got a bigger house in you, a faster car than you or I don't know, whatever it is that that makes them more successful than you it.
:: ::Doesn't it? Absolutely.
:: cessful now. I didn't back in: ::So nice and it's so healthy to hear people say that and we know, don't we? Let's, let's be honest, we talk about social media and things not being truthful. We know there are people, hundreds of people out there who have got loads and loads and loads.
::And loads of money.
::And they're not happy.
::Yeah, absolutely. And smart similar. I'm not, I'm not. I am not saying that money is bad. I'm not saying no at all at all because I still strive to earn more money to get myself back into a, you know, a sound financial position. So I'm not saying money is bad, but I'm just saying make sure that while you're doing it.
::It's the bit you enjoy cause.
::It's not life is not.
::A destination you don't want to spend all of your life doing something to get yourself to a point you want to enjoy the journey and the journey is the bit that is going to make you feel successful along the way.
::Definitely and and.
::The journey has keeps having stages and steps to it. You know, one of the things I think gets in people's ways when we talk about success.
::And go into something and say yes, we need to focus on the the the big goal and and have that vision. And like you said, have a mission and have make sure your values are aligned to it. But we have to also.
::Know that there are loads of steps.
::Loads and loads and loads and loads of steps to get you there, and it isn't.
::Just keeping it, you only focus on the big stuff because that can be overwhelming. So we have to just see the big stuff and then what? How is why I'm a big fan of it today list. So what's my today list? What? How am?
::I going to.
::Get towards the.
::Goal. Yeah.
::Absolutely small steps, each small step you take is taking you closer to.
::That goal? The.
::Trick is making sure that once you have the steps in place so you know what you're gonna be doing so you don't do this wandering off and spaghetti throwing exercise because that isn't gonna work for you. So you need to make sure that the steps are taking you in the right direction.
::Which is why it's important to know what that goal.
::Ears and the second thing you need to remember is is that your steps, so if they're different to somebody else's, it doesn't matter. Yeah. And I think something else would like to.
::Touch on Emma is when something doesn't quite.
::Work out.
::Because so many people will see that as a huge failure or a A, you know, a step back. And actually for me it's we learn things, don't we?
::Absolutely, absolutely. I think it's it's good to fail. I'm. I'm happy to put that out there. I think it's good to fail. Was my my throwing A7 figure business a success or a failure? Some say a success, I'll say that was a failure. But I've learned from that. I've learned how I will do things differently and better still. I've learned how I can help.
::Other people do things differently. Failure is is gonna happen. It's inevitable. We all fail in life. Don't be afraid.
::Of that. The trick is.
::Move on quickly. Learn what you did wrong and see how you can make it better next time. Use it to your advantage. Failure is not a bad thing, and that's something we really need to bust. It's a myth that we need to bust. People spend so much time and I'm sure you see this a lot. Alison, people are so afraid to fail. I was afraid to walk away from my business.
::Because I thought all the people would see that as a.
::Failure. Why it's madness, isn't it? I was putting all that pressure on myself for other people. It doesn't matter. Failure is not a bad thing.
::No, it's just feedback, isn't it? It just gives you information are they're a bit closer or you've or you're learning about yourself. You know, I've done things where I've.
:: ::Put myself into situations and then it hasn't quite. It definitely hasn't worked out.
::And then I.
::Thought OK, I can see what I.
::Was doing for myself.
::Growth has come on the back of failure, yes.
::And and that.
::Is the case that a lot of people, a lot of people? Yeah, to me, it's always looking at it reflectively.
::And either piece together, you know. So there was a practical thing, right. And what I won't do that next time or is it just that you've learned something about yourself that you were too trusting or too all sorts of different things? You know, you there's something for you and you.
::Can take that.
::On and and remember that's that's in your armoury then. Yeah, I often say that to people, you know, if.
::You've had something that hasn't worked out.
::So much wealth coming from that and then we can have that in our armoury for next time.
::Yeah, there's learning in everything.
::And there he is.
::Walking down the.
::Street, you're learning. There's learning in everything.
::I love that and I think you know, I love the fact that you've just highlighted for us all.
::But failure isn't a bad thing. It's just steps, isn't it? Taking you might be a little diversion, but it might be a wealth of knowledge that comes from that diversion you offer me other people along the way in those diversions that you might not have.
::Had in your life.
::Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I think this is where you need to look at business much broader. You need to look at it much bigger than just this end result. You need to look at all of the stuff that sits around it so much, isn't it? But I think the big thing about that is to.
::Make sure that.
::All that stuff, and I'm often talking to people about not worrying about all that stuff.
::All of the time, because it's that's the bit where I think you get well. I certainly know that I used to get very overwhelmed by that because.
::I'd just be.
::Like I've got all this, these things I need to do and I need to create all of the and it's just the even that words just feels like you're just drowning, doesn't it? So for me, it's.
::It feels.
::That piecing things down. Do you have a little tips for for people to?
::Chunk things down.
::Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm I'm a big believer in time blocking. So I don't know if people use that exercise or understand what that is, but basically it's just blocking out my time through the day. So making sure that all of the key things that you have to do are built in there and that includes the things that you just do. And that's the things that a lot of us forget dealing with your emails, for example.
::Putting things in your calendar, whatever it is, those things that you just do are the things that often get missed. So put everything, every single thing that you do in a day, in a calendar, in your calendar. My calendar always looks like I'm a busy busiest person.
::On the planet, it's all flexible stuff, you know that can be moved around. There's always gaps in there, but it's because I've literally got everything on. So if I'm gonna spend half an hour scrolling social media, that is in my calendar. So I'm not just going off and doing things without doing it in a structured way. And it all has to start right at the top. It all has to start with having the right strategy. So you know.
::That what you're doing?
::That week, other things that are going to move you closer to that goal, we talk about little steps, but you need to understand what the bigger goal is so you can start to chunk that down. So yeah, time blocking is is is a game changer when it comes to making sure you're doing the right.
::Things. Yeah. And I think it's that discipline then, isn't it?
::For me, when you do time block things out, the jobs that you might you've made-up in your head are really difficult. Get them done.
::Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And you've got to learn how to be strict with your own boundaries as well. So you've got to learn that it's OK to say no. Don't be afraid to say I can't fit that in. You can always offer an alternative time or or something else. But, you know, do don't let your boundaries sort of fall apart just because you're frightened to say no.
::Yeah, it's so important.
::Isn't it? Well, brilliant. I hope everyone listened. Today is taking so many different tips and just hearing somebody else's story, I think is so important. Wherever you are. You know, if you're thinking about ending changing, giving up something that you're doing or you know that you've got something.
::Hearts desired that you really wanna go for Emma and I I think are both here jointly saying just find ways to do it because the difference and like you say that happiness is just so key, isn't it?
::It is absolutely.
::Brilliant. OK, so do you have the last?
::Little thing that you'd like to.
::Share putting you on the spot for the last little thing that springs to your mind that you think I'd like to just tell everyone about this or mention.
::I've got. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be a little bit cheeky here. I'm gonna throw a little freebie out there because I have got a freebie. I think is gonna give you a lot more than I could give you in probably the next 30 seconds in terms of some tips and and advice. So I'm going to share the link with Allison so she can pop that on, on the notes for you.
::But that that I don't need to be put off by the title because the title says 5 mistakes that a six figure business owner are likely to make now that that that is suitable the content in there is suitable for absolutely any stage of business because it's gonna tell you the things that you may do wrong that you can prevent doing wrong.
::Whatever stage you're at. So there's there's some great tips in there. It says 5. There's actually 10.
::Nice. Ohh great.
::I love her. I love her little freebie for everyone. So we will. We'll pop those in the show notes. And also Emma's contact details and social. So if anyone is listening in and feels that they'd like to look Emma up, then obviously please do.
::Good. Well, I have absolutely loved chatting with you, Emma. Thank you so much for your time.
::Thank you so much for having me, Allison. It's been great. No, it's lovely. It's and for me, it's always just having someone else to share some stories and share some experiences that helps. Whoever's listening to just be like, OK, I can see myself there or at some point in the proceedings. So thank you so much again, Emma, for coming and sharing this space.
::With me.
::Thank you very much.
::So in next week's episode, we are going to focus on Imposter syndrome, and I am delighted to say that we've got Denise Chilton from Denise Chilton coaching coming to talk to us about that. So I hope you can listen in then.
::For listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Health, Remember You can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me.
::On Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like me to?
::Explore we'll find the links in the show notes.
::I'll be back with more tools and tips to make sense of your mind in the next step of the. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.
