When you think about making it to the NFL, you probably picture success, stability, and being set for life. But what you don’t always see are the challenges that come with that journey.

In this episode, NFL former tight end Vernon Davis shares a side of his journey that most people never hear. Vernon opens up about the parts of success that don’t get talked about. The relationships you have to navigate when your life changes. The financial mistakes that can happen when no one teaches you how to manage what you’ve earned. And the way grief can cloud your judgment in ways you don’t expect.

There are so many take-aways from this conversation, but what stood out most to me is how Vernon reframes failure: he sees failure not as something to avoid, but as something necessary. Something that shapes you, sharpens you, and ultimately moves you forward.

What You’ll Hear:

1. The pressure of being the one everyone watches (12:53)
2. How grief can cloud your judgment (14:10)
3. What no one tells you about making the NFL (20:05)
4. The power of failure and growth (31:43)
5. Taking risks beyond football (35:02)

There’s something really powerful about hearing someone say the quiet parts out loud. That success can be fragile. That grief can shift everything. That failure might actually be the thing that moves you forward. What Vernon shares here isn’t just about football. It’s about paying attention, learning as you go, and giving yourself the space to grow through what you didn’t expect.

If this one stayed with you, make sure you’re following along. Subscribing, rating, and sharing the show with a friend helps our community grow.

You can watch this interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/XIZooQ1Atgk

For a full transcript and more, check out our blog post: https://www.lindsaycz.com/show-notes/vernon-davis-40

Check out more from Vernon Davis:

Discover The Next Role Show hosted by Vernon https://www.youtube.com/@TheNextRoleShow

Follow Vernon on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vernondavis85

Support this podcast:

Follow Things No One Tells You on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thingsnoonetellsyoupod/

Stay connected with Lindsay https://www.lindsaycz.com/ and follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lindsaycz/

Subscribe to my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@lindsaycz

[00:00:22] Right. But what exactly is that? Is that valid? Does that hold? How true is that? Well, it's not really true because you can make it to the NFL and lose all the money that you have. You can make it to the NFL and put yourself in a situation that puts you in jail for the rest of your life.

[00:00:53] Lindsay: Hey, everybody, and welcome to the Things No One Tells You Podcast. So that is such. Real, just genuine, honest insight from former NFL star Vernon Davis. He was a tight end in the league for years, and in this episode of Things No One Tells You.

[00:01:32] Really, it applies to anybody out there who's even listening or watching this, because it's like when you get to the thing that you're doing. You can always learn, you can always ask questions. You can always find a way to do better, and sometimes it's enough, and sometimes it might not be. But anyway.

[00:02:10] I wanna share this. I for background, Vernon. He's someone that I covered locally in Washington, D.C, before I went to ESPN because he grew up in D.C., and played college at Maryland. But then, during the course of my time at SportsCenter, that was when he was in the thick of his career, thriving as a tight end in the league.

[00:03:03] And I want you to pay attention to the way Vernon talks about this in his case now as an NFL Star turned actor. I turned into an entrepreneur because I really think Vernon sums it up in a way that it's like. It's okay to stop and pivot completely. It's okay to be excited about the thing that you did so boldly, but then to do something totally different.

[00:03:42] Vernon Davis, you have done so much since your football days, too.

[00:03:53] Vernon: Oh yeah, this is where I come, and if I wanna have a nice movie night, I come and get a bag of popcorn and go watch a nice movie.

[00:04:04] Vernon: It's like my man cave in a sense. Yeah. Yeah, my man cave.

[00:04:14] Vernon: Life is busy. I didn't think it would be this busy after playing football, but it's, it's extremely busy, filled with endorsement obligations, business, films, television shows, kids, my cat, my family, like, it's just, I'm all over the place.

[00:04:34] Vernon: I have three kids, yep.

[00:04:42] Vernon: That's right.

[00:04:45] Vernon: It's great. It's like, and it, sometimes I wake up, and I'm like, wow, I can't believe Gianni's about to go to the University of Maryland, where I went.

[00:05:21] You know what I mean? So it's just one of those things. So I'm elated to have him follow in my footsteps for sure.

[00:05:30] Vernon: Yeah, he was, he came to me, said, " Dad, I think I'm gonna go to Merri, Maryland. I was like, " You sure?

[00:05:45] Lindsay: Take me back for a minute, 'cause I know you're there in D.C., that's the area too, where you grew up. But when you were a kid, what did you expect your journey was gonna look like?

[00:06:21] Lindsay: And real quick, when did you know basketball wasn't gonna work out for you? At what point did that become clear?

[00:06:43] He said, yes. What position would you like to play? I said," Anything that has to do with scoring touchdowns. He said, I'm gonna try you at tight end. " I said, " Okay, cool. So I went out that first year. It was like magic. I just blew up as a 10th grader, and all the schools started reaching out, talking, starting to reach out to me, and they were like, they, they wanted me pretty much.

[00:07:12] Lindsay: Wait, had you played football at that point?

[00:07:24] I was like, ah, let me try it. And I actually did really well. Yeah. But I didn't know if it was going to continue to happen,

[00:07:47] Vernon: Well, one thing I noticed was that everybody was taller than me. I was like,

[00:07:51] Vernon: Look, I don't think I'm growing anymore. I think this is, if I'm gonna play the position that I'm playing, which is power forward, I need to get a little taller. But I don't think that's gonna happen.

[00:08:05] Lindsay: And being someone who's also a mom of a 12-year-old, a 9-year-old, it's just that whole realization and behind-the-scenes story is really interesting to me, too, because we're not there yet. But as you realize, as your kids are getting older and older with the competition and the sports that they love, it's like, wow.

[00:08:34] Vernon: It was beautiful. It was beautiful. Just the level of success I started to have and the attention that I was getting, like it was unexpected in a sense, but I could feel that there was something that I was building and something good that was gonna come out of it, and I just stuck with it.

[00:09:01] Lindsay: And then what?

[00:09:14] So that made me get out, and it made me stay after school late. I was, I would stay after school. I would get home around eight, 9:00 PM, and then I would get up in the morning, and I would do some extra workouts. Just continue to just keep working on my game.

[00:09:37] How would you describe what that was like?

[00:09:58] 'cause if they were fighting, I had to fight, so I wanted to go where no one knew me, where I could just be my own self, my own man. I didn't have to be a part of any group, nor did I have any other friendships, other than the guys that I played football with, or basketball. So I figured that was, that was a great plan.

[00:10:19] Lindsay: And that's not easy. So how did you do that? Who did you have in your corner that was helping you figure that piece of it out?

[00:10:41] I'm going to get there. And I guess it was kinda like my wisdom at a young age that I developed as a young man from having people like my grandmother and grandfather around who raised me, and they say when you, they say you should surround yourself with like-minded people, that can elevate you.

[00:11:09] Lindsay: What kinds of things would they say to you? Like what? Do you have some wisdom that they would share?

[00:11:20] You never know when you'll need them. So you can pull away, but don't turn your back. And I was like, okay. Those are wise words. She also said that I should always take my time when I get angry or upset at things, and just be. Treat people; always give people respect at all times. It doesn't matter.

[00:12:06] Fully 'cause I might need them one day. And that's something I've taken with me throughout my life.

[00:12:32] You kind of have to, I guess, reconcile, right? Is it like people from your past, and I don't know, like what has your experience been?

[00:12:53] 'Cause it's all, it all boils down to people, like the people you have, you in your corner. If I go out and I'm with a guy named James or Tim. If they do something, I'm gonna get in trouble. I'm gonna suffer consequences because my name's much bigger than theirs, right? I'm the one who played football for 14 long years and had the career that I had, so they don't have to worry about anything.

[00:13:34] Now that's what we have to be extremely careful because now you can't see these things that you could see before because you become blinded in a sense, and

[00:13:44] Vernon: You just can't. One thing. So I've had those things happen to me in life, too, where I cultivate a relationship with someone, but I couldn't really see.

[00:13:56] Lindsay: Like if you're going through grief, and meaning that that maybe there's someone who is not in the best, is not the best situation for you to be around, and that you're sort of clouded because of what you're going through is

[00:14:10] Yeah. Your mind is cloudy, you can't really navigate appropriately because there's so much. When grief hits you, it is like. Everything stops. You, the things you're not really looking for in certain people. You're, you don't, it is almost as if you don't, you see the good, you see the good in everything, and you want, you're just searching for love in a sense.

[00:14:42] Lindsay: Is there an experience that you can share where you've really learned from that? Is there one that is coming to your mind most?

[00:15:06] focus on healing. I was searching for healing because at that time I had to take Lexapro. I lost my brother.

[00:15:14] Vernon: I lost my sister. Now I gotta really figure out how I can deal with this anxiety, 'cause right now, this is the worst time of my life. So how can I deal with anything else other than this issue of healing? So there, that was the moment for me. I couldn't really see what was going on there.

[00:15:54] I've often wondered what that was like for you, how you're doing. Obviously, I know it never goes away, but how are you doing now with the loss of your brother?

[00:16:24] And, I understand that he left me something beautiful. So I just take that with me, and I just keep it going, keep pressing forward. 'cause there's so much to do. There's so much for me to do. So, in order for me to be able to continue to do that, I have to keep going.

[00:16:55] Vernon: Oh, he was the best; he had his enthusiasm every single day. Was it? It was the same, yeah. Every morning, he woke up. He was just so happy. Full of joy, just full of life.

[00:17:27] This guy, that's, everyone loved him. Like everywhere I go, it doesn't matter whether it's a teammate or just a friend. He met along the way. They said, I loved your brother, man. Your brother was, even his funeral was hot. His people. There was a line outside the door.

[00:17:58] Lindsay: That's amazing. What was it like for you guys both to be in the league playing in the NFL at the same time, like what did that mean to you guys?

[00:18:36] Of course, they changed. From a financial standpoint, it changes drastically, of course, but it's just beautiful having someone like, 'cause I, for me, I used to take Vonte out. I used to wake him up in the morning, at 7:00 AM, when I was in high school, and I would make him do these workouts.

[00:19:17] Lindsay: God. Yeah. Well, so, so then, right, so it's sort of like the wisdom and the belief that you got from your grandma, and that situation, you were sort of also giving to him because you saw and experienced what it took. Right.

[00:19:37] Put it to work. And I wanted him to feel that too, feel what that was like, because I couldn't just leave him behind, and he was my brother. I loved him. So to see that unfold the way it did was just, it's just like a, like I said, it's just a beautiful story.

[00:20:05] Vernon: Yo, a lot of people don't tell you'll make it to the NFL and lose everything. You can make it to the NFL and lose everything. They don't tell you that when you see a picture that's painted of a guy making it to the NFL, you're like, " Oh, he made it.

[00:20:23] like he's writing this book that will, that won't close. Right. But what exactly is that? Is that valid? Does that hold? How true is that? Well, it's not really true because you can make it to the NFL and lose all the money that you have.

[00:21:00] Lindsay: So, how have you experienced that?

[00:21:04] I remember when I was, when I first made this in the NFL, and I didn't, of course, I didn't know too much about my finances. I didn't know, I didn't have that growing up, and no one really taught me that. So one day I woke up, I'm here to practice, and my financial advisor calls me. He is like, Hey, Vern, you do know that you have X amount of dollars in the bank, right?

[00:21:48] Lindsay: Yeah. Like helping to take care of other people.

[00:22:09] The different accounts that I had. I also started asking questions. I started by seeking people in my neighborhood and taking them out for lunch. Like I had a guy who had restaurants in my community, so I started taking him to lunch. I had a guy who was big into real estate, started taking him to lunch, and then all of a sudden I said, " You know what?

[00:22:45] So I did, I hired a business attorney, paid them $10,000 a month for a year, then let 'em go.

[00:22:57] Vernon: Oh, he came in this Eric, he came in, and he handled every deal that I had from endorsement to like, whether I was buying real estate.

[00:23:29] Lindsay: And was he your agent at all or not? Separate from your agent?

[00:23:39] Lindsay: Wow. That's cool. That's, I love it. That's kind of what you did. It's funny because that seems like a common threat,d too, a little bit. You've reminded me a lot of the Olympics, like I just got done covering the Olympics, and I know you're like, you're a big curling fan, right? You're like curling.

[00:23:54] Lindsay: Yeah. It's hard. Right. But I know, I think that's really cool. But something that I feel like a lot of the athletes that would be our analysts. That would work with us talking about just one in particular, who played women's hockey, and it's like, I didn't see anyone like me doing what I was doing.

[00:24:34] Vernon: Yeah, I know. I feel like it's impossible. Nothing is impossible. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.

[00:24:47] Vernon: Gosh, my favorite memory, the only thing I can think of is just going, making it from losing so much, and then having this moment of like, gosh, we are here. Like when we went to.

[00:25:06] Vernon: No, when we had our first time in the playoffs, we played the New Orleans Saints. That was, I mean that right there is a moment that will live in my memory and in the inside of my emotions forever. Likewise,e not just because I had an iconic cat, yes.

[00:25:35] Lindsay: That year,

[00:25:50] He, before I start winning, right. I just didn't think it was gonna happen with the San Francisco 49ers because we were losing so much. All of my hope was gone. But it was restored when Jim Harbaugh came in and was able to help guide us and get us to where we needed to be. And that was just beautiful, that was just a beautiful time for us.

[00:26:28] Vernon: I think for me, I think you, set, so when the, when from being on these different teams, right? It's all about them. The environment that you create, right?

[00:26:40] Lindsay: Yes. Here, yes.

[00:26:59] he created something that we had. You, it is either look, you either come in here, you do what I tell you to do, or you get out if you don't believe in what we're trying to accomplish. Right. That's how we felt with him. Like it is either, it is either like we're gonna do this, or we're not.

[00:27:43] Like when we weren't practicing, we had to be in our meetings on time. When we weren't, when we weren't in the building, we had to do the right things with our family and how we treated them.

[00:27:59] Vernon: Oh, you get fined.

[00:28:21] Lindsay: Yeah.

[00:28:45] This is what we do. And he created that, and we bought into it. We believed it, and we wanted it. We wanted it, he wanted it. He brought in all the right pieces from the offensive coordinator, Greg Roman, to a great defensive coordinator. And he put the pieces together, and we went out, and we did it.

[00:29:11] Vernon: Yeah, it's a short-sleeve, blue-collar shirt with your name on it.

[00:29:14] Vernon: Yeah, like a maintenance man. It could be anybody, like a blue-collar guy going to work, clocking in, and hitting that button. He's calling, and he's bringing this lunch pall with his sandwich in it. He got his, yes, he got his box. Yeah. Blue collar.

[00:29:33] Vernon: He would give the shirt, the players, those shirts whenever they did something, really well.

[00:29:48] Responsibility and, what's the word I'm looking for? Like ownership. Is that ownership of being a man? Like that's.

[00:30:01] Lindsay: Really?

[00:30:05] So we need to hear about it. Let's talk about it right here. And if you did, if you did something in the game that wasn't. It was conducive to the team, then he was, we were gonna talk about it in front of everybody else. He was going to point it out like, it is, no, it is the worst feeling in the world, it's going in and being called out in front of everybody.

[00:30:31] Lindsay: Do you remember one of those times that you got called out for something in a meeting?

[00:30:40] Lindsay: Oh, no, really? Like, what would he say in the group? Because also, it's about camaraderie, right? So it's like relatability, I'm sure,

[00:30:57]He breaks you down, but in practice, he'll build you back up. Right. because you got that confidence. Of course. Yeah. I got on you, I made my mark, and I got on you. I called you out in the meeting, but. Look, we're in practice. That's gone. That's behind you, right? Learn from it, build on it, and let that energy carry you into something great, right?

[00:31:31] Lindsay: So, okay. What's the thing no one tells you about failure and the power to enjoy success?

[00:31:57] If I fail, this is gonna happen. If I fail, I'm not going to get this signing bonus. If I fail, I'm not going to get the, if I don't, I'm not gonna get the what this, whatever thing it is that you were hoping for. Right. It's just, I just think that failure is beautiful because it teaches you that, for one, it teaches you that you're not perfect. It also teaches you that it's okay to fail. You can't be afraid. Like coaches always say, don't go out playing a game. Being afraid to fail, right? You just gotta go full force, and it, whatever happens, it happens. You get back up, you dust yourself off, and you keep on going.

[00:33:00] That catapulted me, and my success as far as my finances, because I was able to fail with that in my earlier years. So, I just think it's a beautiful thing.

[00:33:33] And I'm like, to me, that is a version of failure. And this is gonna sound so weird, but like you have to kind of hit that point. Before then, when you're like, okay, so what do I do about it? So maybe I'm literally having someone help me just purging it, right? Like

[00:33:55] Like just the power of when you fail, it is the one thing that forces you to take action often. Right? It's kind of that, okay, so outside of football, you have had sucham. My vantage point is just success in so many different areas. Like I've always known that you were an artist. I know that you were a studio art major, and I remember that about you, and that's so cool, right, that you've always kind of had that side.

[00:34:44] And by the way, also acting with Morgan Freeman, and other people of his ilk.

[00:35:02] And it goes back to failing. Like a lot of people, I don't take chances because I'm afraid to fail. Right. Like I took a chance, like when I was done playing football, I said I wanted, I want to go and. Do movies. I want to create my own films. I want to act alongside some big stars. How do I do that? I don't know how to do that, but I'm gonna figure it out.

[00:35:47] through time, I believe, and still I'm learning. I'm still getting better at things. Even with the film in the film space, I'm still learning. I want to be able to come up with an idea and write it. Direct it and act it at some point in time, but I know it's gonna take time to get there.

[00:36:29] Lindsay: I also recently had an athlete talk about like, people sometimes have a hard time saying what they want and are not being clear about, like, what is the thing that I'm interested in? What is the thing that I want? And I think that's a really great point too. That sounds like you're also saying, what was the first thing that you did in terms of walking through the door, end of that space, the acting space, when you were done with football, what was your first step?

[00:37:09] So what happened was he gave me the script, I learned it, I got an acting coach, and we worked on this script, religiously, like. I would work with this acting coach, Kevin Benson. And, we just kept working. And the next thing you know, after that, we started doing the backing work, the business side of things.

[00:37:42] Lindsay: And what was that like?

[00:37:48] Yeah. But I was prepared, so I relied on my preparation. I knew that I had put the work in, so all I had to do was just go and just do what I was taught and live truthfully in the moment.

[00:38:11] Bobby Bones was one that I liked. This is really cool, 'cause I listen to him all the time. I love country music too. But, what, like, what do you look for most and what are you most interested in when you are having these conversations? 'cause they're really in-depth conversations that you have with your guests,t and I love it.

[00:38:38] Vernon: Yeah. I like, so when I'm talking to these guests, I mean, they're, these are some amazing guests when I'm talking to them. I want to know, first of all, I'd like to start, I want to talk about their journey, like where they came from, where they are now, and what plans they have for the future.

[00:39:08] Right. And that's how I feel. And sometimes I feel like I haven't done anything, I haven't achieved anything at all. And a lot of people ask me, like you, you played 14 years in L, right? You've done movies with Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis, but you have a podcast. How do you feel like you haven't done anything like that?

[00:39:38] I love the memories, the accolades, and things of that nature, but I don't wanna keep thinking about them. The young man was running up and down the field catching touchdowns. I don't wanna think about that. I wanna look at what's in front of me and create that. I wanna create a movie about that young man who was running up and down the field, you know what I mean?

[00:39:55] Vernon: That's how I think. That's my mindset.

[00:40:16] I love that's the title of your podcast. 'Cause that makes so much sense. It was hard when you got away from that, considering the camaraderie that it takes with a football team, and being so used to achieving and grinding it out.

[00:40:36] That was the most difficult moment on that day. When I say, okay, I'm gonna do it. That was hard. But when I actually took that step, and I walked away from it, I walked away from that shadow. I knew what was in front of me. I knew that chapter, a chapter in the book. And now it's time to go into the next chapter.

[00:41:16] You made a bold statement, and you crushed it. But. The stuff that you're gonna crush that's coming in front of you is gonna be even, you're gonna crush it even more. It's gonna be even bigger. It's gonna be brighter. So get prepared.

[00:41:36] Right? Right. That's such an awesome mindset, and yeah, coming from someone who has done what you've done, won a Super Bowl, just had all the accolades that you've had, that's incredible. And it's exciting, it is what it is. 'cause it's like. There's no limit until you decide. So per se, okay.

[00:42:11] Vernon: Well, let me tell you, so I, I'm gonna tell you what I love, so. They were intrigued with me because they learned about what I was doing.

[00:42:37] Lindsay: Yeah.

[00:43:02] Yeah. They're looking at me like I'm the new kid on the block, but they don't know that I have some experience in this game. A little bit. Right. So now that I'm on the show, I'm like, wow, this is high level. I'm like, I'm coming up with a design with my partner, Mina, and we're renovating, and we're actually getting our hands dirty.

[00:43:42] I know the terms. I know the lingo. I know it all. I can just, I can do it even more. I'm,

[00:43:50] Vernon: Oh yeah.

[00:44:02] Show up in terms of the chemistry with Mina? Is that a weird question?

[00:44:12] Lindsay: Yeah.

[00:44:22] It's all about the team. It's not about me, it's not about me. And it's about us together, what we accomplish together. And we just, and we work, we feed off of each other. We come in with enthusiasm, like when I walk into that, into the garage, and I start planning and looking over things and working with Mina, I think about walking into the football facility.

[00:44:58] Lindsay: Wow. All right. Before I let you go, I have to show you something. This is a good story, my son.

[00:45:23] And we pull this one out, and he is like," Momm, look, I'm not even kidding, but it's what's in the box.

[00:45:35] Lindsay: Look at that. And so, he was like, " Mom, this is really cool. You should get that. And I was like, you know what? I'll, because I wanna show him. And you know what's crazy about it?

[00:46:11] Vernon: That's cool. That's cool, right? That's super cool. Yeah, that's dope.

[00:46:18] Vernon: Aw, that makes me

[00:46:21] Vernon: Oh yeah. That makes me think about the kid who was trying to reach for the stars, like just. You, I knew what I wanted.

[00:46:47] And that's what I think about when I look at that card. Like someone who didn't know what was gonna happen. But he had a goal in mind. He had liked Aspirations to be great. And that's what I see when I look at that.

[00:47:19] Vernon: That's right. That's right.

[00:47:21] Vernon: That's right.

[00:47:32] Vernon: Absolutely. Good to see you too.

[00:47:53] 'cause that's what I love about. Sports. It's like, all it takes is one fresh set of eyes. It's like all those movies that people watch, whether Hoosiers, all those great sports movies. It's all about chemistry and relatability, and just all about the people. Right. I also just adore the way Vernon reacted to his football card.

[00:48:31] for our entire show team here at Things No One Tells You, that includes producer Ashley Dickson-Ellison, and our editor Sam Archuleta. We wanna say thank you so much for listening, for watching. We will be right back here with you next week. Thanks so much for joining me. I can't wait to see you back here next week.

[00:49:02] See you next time.