Shownotes
I get chatty with my dear husband, Joe, about some exciting tweaks to my beloved podcast. After testing the waters with various formats over the year, I've realized that heart-to-heart talks with those who've journeyed through life with me offer the richest storytelling. Expect to meet some special folks in future episodes, like my childhood bestie who can shed light on our shared past, and my lovely nieces who'll offer a fresh perspective on the aunt-niece bond. You’ll also hear my daughter not wanting to sleep and Joe and I talking about the challenge of IKEA bed assembly adventure.
For more Sharing The Mddl:
Submit your own question for advice. Email me at hello@themddl.com
Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!
Transcripts
Yeah, this is exciting
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:Joe: Why?
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:Lacey: because this is my first time
successfully recording in person.
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:Joe: You do this all the time.
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:Lacey: I know, but I have
never recorded with this setup.
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:It's a new setup for me.
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:Welcome to Sharing the Middle, and I'm
not going to say my normal opening because
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:I'm still working on a new opening to
match what is this new Sharing the Middle.
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:And I have asked my dear husband,
Joe, and fan favorite, you know
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:you're a fan favorite, right?
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:Joe: A fan favorite.
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:Yes.
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:Lacey: You're also, it's two,
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:Joe: Oh.
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:Lacey: Anyway, fan
favorite, my husband, Joe.
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:Hi, Joe.
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:Joe: Hello.
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:Lacey: How are you today, Joe?
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:Joe: I am here.
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:Lacey: He is, we just put our
children to bed, fingers crossed.
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:They stay in bed.
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:we're
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:really taking a
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:Joe: We put them in bed, we didn't put
them to bed because they're still awake.
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:Lacey: Yeah, we're really
taking a gamble on this one,
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:Joe: It's risky.
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:Lacey: I haven't told Joe much of anything
about this with the exception that I want
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:to tell him and so he can ask me questions
and be like an audience conduit, if you
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:will, about my, not, it's not really a big
change in direction, but it is a little,
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:we're going to steer in a direction.
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:So sharing the middle is still going
to have guests that we do interviews
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:on where they talk about their middle
moments, but I've been trying to figure
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:out
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:how to share my story better.
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:Don't tap the microphone.
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:Joe: did not.
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:Lacey: Yes, you did.
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:I
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:Joe: saw you.
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:They don't know that, only you know it.
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:You
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:Lacey: They know it now.
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:Joe: I
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:should have just denied it.
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:Lacey: But probably gaslighting
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:Joe: gaslighting your wife in
the middle of her podcast isn't
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:necessarily the best move to
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:Lacey: the best move make.
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:Anyway, I've been wanting to figure
out how to share my own story and for
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:a while that was in my writing, but
writing hasn't really felt good lately.
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:And I also have been struggling with,
previously I did many episodes that
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:were just for me and that was a place
where I shared what was going on,
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:but it just didn't feel quite right.
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:with the joyful support movement.
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:the wonderful Sarah, my co host on
No Shame in the Home Game, and I.
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:joyful support has three steps.
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:One of those steps is sharing your
story, putting your story out there.
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:And she, being the genius that she
is, was like, yeah, that's sharing
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:the middle is sharing your story.
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:And it got me thinking about, how
can I share my story better and
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:in a way that feels good for me.
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:And I think it was more
engaging for a listener.
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:And I thought back to some of my
favorite episodes from last season,
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:and they were the one with my mom and
my sisters, the one with, Becky and
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:Lydia, where we talk about Barbie.
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:And it helped me realize that I
learn a lot about my own story in
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:conversation with other people,
and that other people hear.
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:themselves in some of those stories.
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:So for example, the thing that I heard
the most when I, when people talked
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:about the system, my mom and sisters
episode was that they heard their
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:own relationship with their sisters.
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:If they had sisters and
had a close relationship.
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:And so it got me thinking, maybe I
want to give more insights to that.
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:Is there a child?
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:Joe: No, but did you not
hear the sound change?
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:Lacey: No.
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:Joe: There is a child I haven't
seen to confirm yet But I heard the
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:volume of the white noise change.
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:So did you hear that door?
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:Yeah.
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:To be fair, she may be going
to the bathroom, which,
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:again, she is allowed to do.
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:Lacey: She is our sneaky kid.
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:Joe: Yeah.
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:Lacey: is very much our sneaky kid.
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:Joe: She's so quiet.
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:Lacey: She is.
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:So, in a way, that's what I want to do.
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:I want to talk to people in
my life to share my story.
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:in conversation with the people
who had these experiences with me.
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:Joe and I could talk about
our experience parenting.
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:Oh, there's a child.
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:Joe: Hi, sweet girl.
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:You need to get back in bed.
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:Lacey: supposed to be in your bed, Missy.
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:Joe: Yes.
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:Okay.
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:Lacey: All right,
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:I've already reached out to some folks
about different things, and I'm not
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:just going to be like, tell me about
me, because that feels weird, but
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:they're going to have some themes.
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:for example, I want to talk to
my mom and sisters about sports.
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:and
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:their relationship with sports
as women as a way to, underline
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:my lack of interest in sports.
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:Joe: That's not true.
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:Lacey: What do you mean that's not true?
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:Joe: You have an interest in sports.
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:Lacey: What sports do I have an
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:Joe: have an interest in?
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:You have an interest in sport.
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:What?
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:You're into football now.
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:Lacey: I am not into
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:Joe: That's not true.
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:Lacey: Just because.
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:Joe: it enough.
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:Lacey: The Travis Kelsey of it all.
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:I wish it didn't exist.
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:I want to be very clear about that.
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:is not a desire.
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:We didn't even watch the Super Bowl.
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:Joe: So?
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:Lacey: Anyway, I also wanted to talk to my
lifelong friend, Emma, about longevity in
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:friendships and like lifelong friendships,
but also about girlhood because I
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:spent a lot of my girlhood with Emma.
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:I want to talk to, this is what I'm really
excited about, I asked my two oldest
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:nieces, if they would talk to me, and then
I'm going to ask my aunts to do like an
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:aunts and nieces, but have perspective for
me as the aunt and then me as the niece.
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:So you can see it's not necessarily
just me talking about myself.
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:It is a little bit, but it's not
fully that, it's taking these
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:different aspects of my own life
and talking about the people that
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:I experience those things with.
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:It's
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:Joe: Right.
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:It's you talking about yourself
and other people talking about you.
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:Lacey: My hope being that by having
multiple perspectives, it's a fuller
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:story and a more relatable story.
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:So what do you think Joe?
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:Joe: It sounds more engaging.
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:Lacey: Yeah, I agree.
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:Joe: Not to say that some of your episodes
weren't, but some of them weren't.
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:Lacey: but some of them weren't.
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:Joe: not everyone has podcast,
podcast level charisma.
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:Lacey: you say it in the
most monotone voice you can,
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:Joe: I clearly have podcast charisma.
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:If I could say the word
podcast, I would have
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:Lacey: it's oozing, oozing out of
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:Joe: is.
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:We're going to need a towel.
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:Lacey: We are currently set up in
my, bed book nook that my parents
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:wonderfully put together for me with
the most beautiful wallpaper behind me.
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:And this is the first time
Joe's even really sat here,
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:and he is so uncomfortable.
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:Joe: That's not true.
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:I've sat here before.
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:You Also, I would like to point out
that I was post surgery when you
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:decided that the bed nook HAD to happen.
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:Hold
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:Lacey: that was not a knock on
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:Joe: had an emergency appendectomy and
had no options to help with any of this
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:because I was on full restrictions.
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:I wasn't allowed to lift
anything over 8 pounds.
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:Lacey: Gallon of milk
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:Joe: milk is what
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:he said.
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:That's good.
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:Lacey: that was not me pointing
at you, and dear listener.
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:I hope that's not what you took away.
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:We were having Isaac's first
birthday party, and I wanted to
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:get a bunch of house projects done.
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:And then Joe got out of commission,
so I recruited my parents
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:Joe: not by choice.
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:Lacey: Yeah.
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:we got a lot done though.
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:It was nice.
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:Bob and Carolyn can come
in and transform a space,
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:Joe: But not an Ikea assemblage.
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:It is the true relationship test.
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:If you are trying to decide if the person
that you're with is the person for you,
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:then buy some Ikea stuff, put it together,
TOGETHER, and see if you last through it.
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:If you last through it, you're
probably doing pretty good.
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:If you don't, it was never meant to be.
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:Cause, Ikea.
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:Lacey: Joe and I have
our own version of it.
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:Joe: Yeah.
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:would love
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:Lacey: to hear your
perspective of it, Joe.
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:Hear the story from your perspective.
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:Joe: I feel like I've
already told this story,
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:Lacey: Have you?
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:Okay.
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:Joe: It
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:wasn't, well, kind of was this
bed, but also not this bed.
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:Lacey: It's not this bed, no.
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:Joe: no.
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:It's this
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:bed.
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:This
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:Lacey: bed is different.
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:This bed
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:Joe: The mattress is the same.
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:Lacey: It is the same mattress.
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:It's also the same
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:Joe: the same
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:Lacey: Which the slats were the problem.
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:yes,
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:Joe: slats were the problem.
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:We picked a bed that didn't come with a
that didn't have room for a box spring.
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:It was slats that you
put a mattress on top of.
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:And of course we decided to do this while
moving in at what time did we start?
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:11pm?
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:Lacey: thing, the first step
here is that we could not get
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:the box spring up the stairs
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:Joe: yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:The box spring was for a
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:Lacey: So we, had to go to the
drawing board and go get a bed
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:that could have no box spring.
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:And I think it was after two nights
of sleeping on no box spring, you
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:and I were like, this is not good.
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:There's a child again.
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:Joe: That's all right.
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:Lacey: Okay.
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:and we did, we had a long day of moving
and then went to Ikea, found a bed that
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:we both liked, got the slats, got it home.
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:Got everything upstairs.
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:It was probably like 10pm at that point.
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:Joe: By
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:the time we started building,
it was around 10 or 11.
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:Lacey: And then ended up So
here's the thing about Lacey.
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:I view instructions more as like a
starting point and guideline, right?
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:I mean, I, you see how
things get together, right?
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:It's like, I see things go in this hole
and whatnot, but, that didn't work.
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:That mindset didn't work.
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:We ended up having to unassemble
pretty much everything.
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:And then start from the beginning, because
we installed one thing backwards in
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:the beginning, if I remember correctly.
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:Joe: Yeah, and it messed
everything else up.
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:Lacey: But, we're still married.
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:we weren't even married then.
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:That was
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:Joe: Two crazy kids
buying a house together.
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:Building a bed till 1am.
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:Lacey: And we still
elected to get married.
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:Joe: I don't think we even
put sheets on it that night.
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:I
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:Lacey: We may not
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:Joe: got the mattress on and then
just like flop down and passed out.
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:Lacey: Did I cry?
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:I don't think I cried.
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:Joe: don't know.
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:You did when you realized you did when
you realized what we had done wrong.
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:Lacey: And I knew it was my fault, yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:Joe: you, you did at that point.
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:Yeah.
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:It was, but it was super late.
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:Lacey: and we didn't have a choice.
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:We need to get done.
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:Joe: Yeah.
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:Yeah, the problem was though, with it
being backwards, you couldn't put the
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:two bed frames next to each other.
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:And so we couldn't just slap
the mattress on and be like, all
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:right, we'll fix it in the morning.
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:Cause it, it made the
whole thing like lopsided.
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:So it just, it didn't work.
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:and to be fair, I, there was concern
about breaking the way the wood would have
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:been like layered on top of each other.
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:So we, we had to fix it
before we could lay in it.
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:I do remember briefly having.
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:Discussion about just leaving
the mattress on the floor and
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:being like fuck it Fuck it.
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:Let's do it live
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:Lacey: or whatever
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:Joe: it just go to bed
and finish in the morning
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:Lacey: But we didn't.
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:We persevered.
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:We
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:Joe: We did and we finished around 1 a.
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:m.
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:And then sweaty hot and gross just flopped
on top of that mattress and went to bed
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:Lacey: there was a child
that just called out, Dad.
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:Joe: It's okay
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:Lacey: Okay.
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:Joe: The issue is that she
can hear me talking, so she
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:Lacey: we shut the door all
the way or is that dangerous?
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:Joe: cause then she can get
up and do whatever she wants.
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:At least this way I can
hear her move around.
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:Lacey: hear her move around.
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:She's the sneaky
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:Joe: Yeah.
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:This house, uh, that moved
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:Lacey: this house, that we've
moved into does not have a
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:basement
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:Joe: a basement, and so I'm glad.
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:I got
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:Lacey: Popping up again.
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:Joe: Poppin up again.
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:Iris, you need go back to your
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:Lacey: Yeah, she's not
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:Joe: Yeah, she's not tired at all.
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:Lacey: her back.
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:Come
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:Joe: Alright, I'm gonna go put her back.
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:Mhm.
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:Mhm.
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:Lacey: sincerely bet that there
are other people out there who can
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:relate with their own Ikea story.
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:Joe: Yes.
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:Lacey: And I would like to hear them.
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:Honestly, no.
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:I would like to hear if Ikea stopped you
from being in a relationship with someone.
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:Actually, yes,
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:Joe: Actually, yes.
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:I would like to
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:Lacey: I would really love to hear
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:Joe: that.
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:Lacey: That would be
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:Joe: That's the tea I'm here for.
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:Lacey: Joe
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:loves tea.
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:Joe is gossipy.
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:Joe: That's not true.
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:Lacey: you love some gossip.
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:Joe: I, I,
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:Lacey: hot goss.
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:Joe: I enjoy gossip, but I am not gossipy.
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:There's a difference.
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:Lacey: there are times where
I can tell you're like, tell
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:me what happened over there.
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:Who said what?
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:Joe: I want to know, but I'm not gossipy.
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:I don't re share it.
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:Lacey: Yeah.
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:Joe: So I feel like there's a difference.
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:Lacey: You're right.
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:we won't get into gossip and how
not all gossip is bad and dah, dah.
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:That kind of stuff.
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:bro, do you have any questions for me
about my, journey with sharing the middle
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:and sharing my story through conversation?
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:Joe: no.
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:Lacey: Okay.
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:Real,
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:Joe: was not told I had to prepare
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:Lacey: I didn't tell you what it
was 'cause I thought you might.
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:Have questions, or thoughts, or
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:Joe: You didn't ask for thoughts,
you asked for questions.
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:Lacey: have thoughts?
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:Joe: I have lots of thoughts,
but this isn't necessarily
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:the forum for most of them.
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:Lacey: them.
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:Do you have thoughts
about what I brought up?
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:This is,
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:Joe: I feel like I already said it.
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:I think this is the.
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:Updated format sounds more engaging than
what some of the episodes have been.
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:not all of them, because there
were some really good episodes, and
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:not just the ones you pointed out.
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:But, I do think that this, to me, sounds
more engaging, it's more personal.
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:Lacey: any ideas come up for you of
people and conversations I can have?
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:Joe: Did any ideas come up for me
about conversations you can have?
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:You mean you, you want me to
start an, Like an offshoot
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:podcast where I talk about you?
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:Lacey: No!
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:no,
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:I Okay, first of all, you suck.
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:Second of all, I'm just saying, is there
anyone that you're like, Hey, I would love
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:for you to talk to this person about this.
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:I think that would be interesting.
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:Joe: I want the tea, so I want to
know, I want to know about stuff.
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:So yes, that, if you could do that,
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:, I don't know who would
want to listen to it.
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:Lacey: it.
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:my dear friend, Zach, who I did
his podcast a couple years ago,
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:I want
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:to have him on because I think I am
the best version of myself with Zach.
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:And
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:I want to talk about why that
is and how that is and explore.
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:part of it, and I don't want to spoil
it, but Zach thinks I'm interesting,
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:and because Zach thinks I'm interesting,
it makes me more interesting.
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:Joe: that makes sense.
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:Lacey: will say, it is a very, self
indulgent conversation, though,
384
:and this this is the dance that I'm
trying to figure out and do, because.
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:I don't know.
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:It feels weird talking about myself, but I
know that through sharing my experiences,
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:other people's experiences get validated,
get, felt, seen, and heard, and it makes
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:it easier for them to share theirs.
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:and ultimately, sharing our
stories is a way to unburden
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:us from some of the heaviness.
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:It's a way to find connection
and that kind of stuff.
392
:I need to keep reminding myself that
393
:I will say, so one of the things
that I've done, is I've invested
394
:in, some portable equipment so I
can do these interviews in person.
395
:I probably need to get at least
one or two more microphones.
396
:But,
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:Joe: yeah.
398
:Or just have people, Do the, we
are the world, where you're just
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:like five people to a microphone.
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:Lacey: I think four people on a
podcast is max is what I've learned,
401
:Joe: okay.
402
:Too chaotic.
403
:Lacey: chaotic with more, but I do love.
404
:The image in my head of like my
mom and my friend Alex sharing a
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:microphone like with headphones
on and singing into it together.
406
:That was a joyful image
that I just had in my head.
407
:Joe: And they both are holding like a
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:Lacey: Oh,
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:Joe: like a few fingers to
an ear so that they can.
410
:Yeah.
411
:Lacey: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:Joe: Which
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:Lacey: in reality, it would be
my mom standing there and Alex
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:singing, probably the loudest.
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:And my mom just being all,
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:Joe: Yes,
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:Lacey: Absolutely.
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:anyway, My old microphone was causing some
issues, so it was a necessary upgrade,
420
:but it was one that I did, thoughtfully,
so that I can do more of these in
421
:person, because there is some magic in
person, especially with people you know.
422
:Did have kind of another thing
I wanted to ask you about.
423
:Not the, not about the format
stuff, but Sharing the Middle has
424
:been around for over a year now.
425
:And I feel like I have learned a
lot and changed a lot over the year.
426
:Joe: I would hope so.
427
:that leads
428
:Lacey: to my question
429
:Joe: better than regressing.
430
:Lacey: of, have you noticed
anything different in my
431
:relationship with the middle?
432
:Joe: yeah,
433
:obviously.
434
:You're changing the format, for one.
435
:Lacey: what I
436
:Joe: obviously you've been through it,
you've taken the time to think about.
437
:what you wanted to get from it, and how
it made you feel, and your interaction
438
:with it, other people's interaction with
it, and you've been slowly making changes,
439
:and trying to get it to where you want it.
440
:I think even the new format that
you come up with is gonna end
441
:up being changed eventually.
442
:Lacey: Oh, absolutely.
443
:Absolutely.
444
:And that's something that I, would
have had a really hard time with in
445
:the past because I would have been
like, but I said, I'm going to do
446
:this and I'm going to do it this way.
447
:And so I just need to keep pushing
until this is the thing that works.
448
:I can't give up, which is not
helpful to me or listeners or anyone.
449
:So I think even you just saying that.
450
:And explaining that it's a process.
451
:Kudos to me, because I don't think I
would have done that three years ago.
452
:Joe: Why not?
453
:Lacey: I don't know.
454
:Because I was so achievement based,
check mark, accomplished, did that.
455
:Joe: Yes, but you still made sure it was
456
:purposeful.
457
:Lacey: Yeah.
458
:I will say, I do have a
tendency to take a hard turn.
459
:Joe: You don't say.
460
:Lacey: And I think this not
being a hard turn is a positive.
461
:It's an evolution instead
of just a straight, let's
462
:just do something different.
463
:Joe: I think that means that your
original idea wasn't that far off then.
464
:Lacey: Oh no, it wasn't.
465
:And honestly, so I worked with
the lovely ladies from Mom Tage
466
:to help me come up with format.
467
:And it's really interesting
how some of the changes
468
:that I am making are things that we
talked about as possibilities, but I
469
:hadn't quite understood what that meant.
470
:and.
471
:Now I can fully embody it because I
don't think I would have been able to
472
:describe this to somebody previously.
473
:Joe: I think that's fair.
474
:Lacey: Yeah.
475
:All right.
476
:thank you for joining me, Broseph.
477
:you have any, wise words?
478
:Just straight up compliments
to gas your wife up?
479
:anything like that you
want to leave us all with?
480
:Joe: I'm sure I probably have
wise words, but Again, I wasn't
481
:told to prepare anything.
482
:Lacey: I did not ask you to prepare.
483
:I'm a little disappointed that
there weren't wife gassing up
484
:things that could just flow out.
485
:But it's fine.
486
:Joe: your bangs are fantastic.
487
:Lacey: cut bangs today.
488
:Yeah.
489
:And they look great.
490
:I did a good job.
491
:Thanks, Joe.
492
:Joe: I can think about
is Ricky Martin now.
