Join host and expert coach Tessa Lynne Alburn for an authentic and insightful discussion on prioritizing your business, particularly in the context of being a woman in business. She shares her wisdom from her personal journey, reflecting on instances where she didn’t prioritize her own business, such as listening to the opinions of others or putting clients' needs before the needs of her own business.

She delves into the challenges many women face in balancing their business responsibilities with personal obligations, citing examples of many women who struggle with partners not understanding their business commitments. This often leads to feelings of frustration and martyrdom. Tessa emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and scheduling time wisely. 

Tessa provides valuable insights and advice for women in business to prioritize themselves and their ventures, set clear intentions and goals and take a greater responsibility in creating more discipline and success with authenticity. 

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and spice up your life with her Reignition Roadmap

Check it out!

• Discover the importance of setting healthy boundaries with partners, family, friends, and even team members.

• Understand the value of learning to trust others and the need for clear communication and delegation so you can avoid becoming overwhelmed and being buried in tasks

• Gain insights on knowing the difference between business goals and your to-do list 

• The concept of inner saboteurs and the need for structure to manage them to stay aligned with one's authentic self and business goals 

• Explore the need for balance between feminine and masculine energies in business, discussing women’s timeline of urgency

• The importance of discipline and grounded presence amidst ‘urgencies’ and the societal pressure to prioritize others' needs over one's own business 

* About your Host and Presenter* 

Tessa Lynne Alburn is a soul connection business coach, author, podcast host, Reiki Master and explorer. Tessa believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

Her mission is to help women entrepreneurs bring their ideas and authentic feminine voices into the world, so they make a real difference and receive compensation that reflects their brilliance!

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/ 

Check Us Out on: 

Facebook 

Linked In 

Thank You for Listening!

Thank you kindly for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and feel others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons found on this page.

We love hearing from our listeners. If there’s something you want us to cover, we’d love to hear your ideas! Send them to us here:  https://www.sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/contact

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to any of your favorite podcast apps. Otherwise, visit us on the https://sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/ at any time for all episodes.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts Review

https://apple.co/4bwsAC8

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Spotify Listeners

And if you’re a Spotify fan, then Spotify now has a star-rating feature! https://open.spotify.com/show/1aeExmacYRGfKmjCOw6zxD

May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Hello there. A few episodes ago we talked about owning your worth, right? And I laid out some steps for you to take so that you could start shifting into feelings of greater worthiness as a woman. And, um, and if you're a business owner, as a woman in business today, I'd like to go into more detail about some of the little ways that we devalue ourselves and, and give you some steps forward. Now, if you don't have a business yet, I think you're still gonna find some things of value in here. So I hope you'll stick around Today. I'm gonna be sharing from that viewpoint of putting the business first and some of those places where we can get stuck and undermine ourselves. Now, starting with me, there was a time when I wasn't putting my business first. I was actually, actually, the first time that I can recall not putting my business first was when I, I had a healing business and I was putting the opinions of other people first. My friends, mostly friends and mentors. I was listening to their input and, and, and it felt a little charged. And years later, I found out what I had a great conversation with one of them, one of my mentors, um, because they admitted that they were actually jealous of what I was doing. And they didn't realize it at the time. Um, so they were just telling me, don't do it. Don't do it.

Thankfully, I knew better, and I continued and listened to my inner calling, and I put myself out there and I took some action. But another way that I did not put my business first, I, I put somebody else's business first, was when I would have consulting clients. And I, I mean, I loved doing that work. It was so much fun because a lot of it is collaborating. Most of the, um, consulting clients that I had used to like, to, like, we would brainstorm together and things of that nature, and we would develop interesting new things. And sometimes I was just called in, you know, as the expert to, guide the ship, as it were. And so I had a lot of freedom. And, and it was great because I had already, like, made a proposal and so I knew what I was earning.

I didn't have to worry about income. I was just like, yeah, it's covering this much, it's covering this many hours, and that, that sort of thing. But I would do this thing where I would schedule blocks of time in case clients needed me. And I, I'm not sure why I did that, because it wasn't fully conscious. It was like a desire to avoid. I think part of it was avoiding some things that I didn't want to need to do, want to get done in my own business and put my focus on. 'cause it was just easier focusing on clients than focusing on other things that I needed to get done or learn or integrating new technologies or training team members, whatever it was. And so I, I created a cycle where I started to feel like I was jumping through hoops for my clients, and I was like, oh, I'm the one that did that.

I created that. So, um, those are a couple of the ways that I did not put my business first and, uh, instead put somebody else's. Now, I've had a number of clients, many of my clients over the years who are either like high level, uh, c-suite people or, um, doing high level consultation for multi-million dollar companies, or they, have their own businesses and every, they present really well. They like look really good in the public. You know, they look like, oh, they have it all together and everything's great at home, but it's not always the case. Most of the time it's not. And where I found like almost every time, not every, but really high percentage, when I would first start working with someone, it would come out in as we got closer and closer to the heart of things, that things weren't so great with their partner because they were probably most of them secretly frustrated.

The partner didn't quite understand what their business was. And, and then the partner was making assumptions about their business that then left the woman, uh, business owner to feel obligated and have to pick up certain kinds of slack in the relationship. Like, I'll give you a specific example. Like, um, one time a, a client's, husband said at dinner, by the way, honey, the handyman, you know, people are coming over to do something on the roof tomorrow, and you'll let them in and, and make sure that, you know, they, they do what they're supposed to do. She was mystified. She was just aghast. Like, what are you talking about? I have a business. I am working in my business tomorrow. I have clients, I have meetings. I, I can't just, I'm not on call. I'm not, uh, you know, sitting around waiting for something to do or to happen.

And these women like her would get build up, not say anything forever. And then when that moment came where the partner or the husband or, uh, would say, you know, put this onus on them, just kind of out of not understanding, and the woman would follow through on it, she would cancel her calendar. She would move her clients. Oh, and then she got to be a martyr. Oh, you know, and complain about her husband or her partner. So that's a case of not putting your business first because you want to, you don't, you're avoiding having a conversation. You're avoiding clarifying what you need. And it's really important to do that with people. Friends do this with us as well. They'll set up, you know, they, they think, oh, they're home all day working from home. And they'll, they'll just like suddenly start texting or sending YouTube videos or whatever it is, and they just want to talk.

They're like, Hey, this has been going on. I wanted to tell you about it. Or, you know, and they, and, and if you pick up, then it, it gets longer, right? And it stretches into whatever you have going on that you had scheduled. So I, I went through a little bit of this, um, in early days, and I train my people really well. They know much better . Um, but we really do, we need to train people. We need to communicate our needs, otherwise people don't get it. People have their needs. And then until you say, no, this doesn't work for me, for me, or you've explained it ahead of time, they're, they're gonna want your care, your love. 'cause you're probably an awesome person. So to prioritize yourself and your business, you're going to need to learn to set healthy boundaries, boundaries with your partners, friends, family, yes, kids too.

Boundaries, boundaries are really healthy for kids. Whether they're little itty bitties, teenagers or adults, they all need boundaries. Oh, also your team, the team that works with you, they need boundaries too. They don't, they don't know when you're available. They'll be sending me, you know, I, I know this, my people will send me stuff at all hours of the day and night. I, I, I open up my, um, communications, my email, let's say, you know, in the morning when I sit at my desk, um, I'm like, midnight. What were they doing? You know, at midnight? What are they? They really like what they, the real like, and I need, you know, like, I'm stuck. I can't go anywhere. So it's just all training. So healthy boundaries and then train people. So you are, where am I?

Ah, now the biggest boundary of all though, the biggest one is with yourself. Boundaries from distractions, boundaries from avoidance, boundaries from obligations. 'cause everything is a choice. And all those things, the tractors, the obligations, all that stuff weakens you. And it diffuses your energy. What do you think's gonna happen to your business if you're not present? You're the founder of it. You're the owner of it, you run it. So one way you can set self boundaries is to be very clear on your goals for the day or your intentions. And I work with both. So sometimes I have a goal, which is a very clear set outcome of something and clear steps to taking that. And intention is a li a little bit more about the energetics. Or when I'm thinking about like, I intend for the team to become more cohesive, then there's something I'm gonna wind up doing towards that. So my intention will, will light that, uh, get that started.

So I want to say make this distinction though, in terms of goals, like goals for your business goals, your company goals are not your to-do list. They're not that list of never ending things to do. Emails to read, people to get back to. Your goals need to be about your company goals. And one of the ways to get in touch with those, of course is your mission. What is actually important? Not urgent, but important. Is it the relationships with your clients? Is it that you need to communicate something? Or is it that you need to, um, rather than following through on some picky-uni little thing, you were gonna, you know, we're gonna email or find or create.

We need to step back and look at the business as a whole and almost like an entity. Because it is, it's a soul connected business. If you're doing any kind of mission or healing work that has a humanitarian purpose behind it, it's a soul connected business. Or it can be. And if you're cut off from your soul with it, then you're gonna see that in the results. You're gonna see that in the relationships that you do or don't build. You're gonna see that in your revenues and you're gonna have some of that reflected back to you. I think you're here because you want that sole connected business. I want you to understand it is possible, but it takes some accountability. It takes some showing up for.

So I want you to set some clear intentions for your day, select or goals. Select three or four max. That is it. You might get two done depending on what they are. But I want you to focus your energy on those. Delegate anything that you need support with or that you can, in other words, that you don't really have to be the one to do it. Because if you're getting buried, then you have a boundary problem and you need to ask for support. And you need to say no to yourself. Say yes to your business. Say yes to your mission. Say no to avoidance, procrastination, diving in on some project that somebody else could be doing because it's easy.

So you're gonna want to take kind of like a greater responsibility and also learn to trust others and delegate to them. The next thing I want you to do is to schedule your time wisely. That sounds so simple, right? Oh, I, you probably have a calendar, maybe it's online. Certainly are easy to use these days. Scheduling your time wisely does not mean packing in 5,000 little task reminders. That is not wise. I, but when you schedule your time wisely, it's gonna help you with your focus. You're gonna actually get stuff done sooner. And with greater acumen. And with greater spirit. But I can't tell you many, uh, really brilliant women I know who've set themselves up to fail because they don't have timelines that support who they are as a person.

And when people work with me, this is often one of the common areas where I find that things are quite messy. People are constantly overscheduling themselves and they believe they need to do it. And what we find to be true is that they don't actually, that they didn't see another way to get things done. So messiness and scheduling causes stress. It causes, you know, rushing and the kinds of feelings that are opposite of why you go into business in the first place. 'cause you probably went into business because you wanted freedom, right? Well, freedom and scheduling go together. You need structure and scheduling can provide you structure. That's one type of structure in a business.

And I think of scheduling kind of like as a flowing thing. Like I love an electronic calendar because I schedule chunks of time and then I learn that something else actually is more of a priority. And then I can just move that chunk of time to another day, to another time, put a reminder on it. That's it. And when you know your mission and you understand the big picture, it's easy to say, oh, that is the priority. It's a lot easier. Another element of creating freedom means that you're gonna want to be aware of and in charge of any inner saboteurs. Now saboteurs, I think for women, uh, you know, there are all kinds, could do a whole archetype quiz on that. Um, I actually did years ago, but , so you wanna know, like, is your panicker taking over or is your victim taking over? Or maybe just your loud rebel, right? She's a, she's pretty good. Like a lot, I've seen this in a lot of women these days who are ambitious and really wanting to like, have their voice and, you know, make their mark on the world make an impact. But the, the rebel, she's all about freedom and no rules. Like, there's no guidelines for her. She's just all about freedom. She's this wild, she's a wild child. So she needs guidance and she needs boundaries and structure.

And I find that there's this, you know, there is such a deep desire for authenticity and for the acknowledgement of one's being. So understanding your saboteurs and managing those would be really helpful to be, to help you to be in your authentic self and to create freedom. I'll just say a, a word about feminine energy and masculine energy because I think what we're working with in business is, and, and in life as well, if we were just in the feminine, we would create a lot of compassion. We'd create a lot of nurturing. We, you know, we create a lot of growth probably. But we would not achieve, we would not know what our goals are. 'cause it's just compassion. We don't really know where we're heading. Creating love is nice, but I am pretty certain that most women do not just want that. We do want love, but we also want other stuff.

We want human things. We want to go places. We want to have certain amounts of income to take care of ourselves and to contribute to our families. We want. It's just like if you had a daughter, you'd want her probably to graduate high school. Maybe you'd want her to go to college or maybe you'd want her to do something else. There's this desire. And when you are not paying attention to your desires, these can also, the unspoken or the unrecognized desires can undermine you. They can feed into the saboteurs. So we have the feminine energy, all this compassionate stuff and the nurturing and the spaciousness. We also do need the masculine. We want to be in harmony with masculine energy, the divine masculine, without letting it take over, right? And we've got a whole world of that like masculine energy all over the place. That wasn't necessarily the divine masculine, but divine masculine energy.

In my line of, in my manifesto is to have goals and boundaries. And one more thing, which I think is all often overlooked, which I think is often overlooked. Discipline. We need the discipline to show up when things are uncomfortable or messy or there's a whole bunch of stuff going on, or we don't quite feel like it right then, or hormones are doing this, that, or the other, or somebody's upset at school and somebody's this and somebody's that. We've got to be disciplined to say, I am here for myself. I'm here for my business. This is my focus. And I'm not saying to ignore others in your life. I'm saying to find ways to delegate, to get things done without it, without stuff like that being urgent or feeling like it's an emergency. The more you can create calm and peace and presence in yourself, the more your family is, the more the world around you, your friends, your relationships will also have greater sense of presence and centeredness.

Lastly, for many women, we've been trained to feel like all timelines are urgent. And so this is an unlearning you're gonna need to do, right? You even look at a calendar and you're like, here's that deal. I gotta hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. No, I think this may go back. I was reflecting on this and I I think it could go back to birthing, right? All the stuff that happens around the birth, right? There's this big timeline, the due date, and then there's the rushing to the hospital or getting to the hospital, and all the intensity of the doctors and the nurses and the midwives and the whatever and call the family is all called this big, big event. And people are waiting. Or maybe the baby comes earlier, maybe it comes late, or maybe the woman is like, I'm not waiting till then. Like it's, there's something around the intensity and the urgency of birthing that I think women hold that sense of urgency more strongly than men. And we need to let it go.

All needs are not urgent. Other people are not more urgent than us. If allow everything else to be more urgent than you, or your success or your mission, then you'll always be chasing something. And so you need to decide that the urgencies of others is simply not true. They might have feelings about it, they might have upset, that's okay. And it's okay that you feel like others are more urgent. Uh, like, oh, I must get back to that friend, doctor, banker, you know, before I can do this, that, or the other. But I'm saying make a choice. Make a choice that honors you.

I'm not saying avoid or do anything else or dismiss other people, not on the contrary. I want you to acknowledge them and I want you to make a choice for yourself. So I'm just gonna offer you a question here, um, that I, I'm inviting you to be in the rest of the week. And the question is, who or what are you putting before your business? Who or what are you putting before your business? So I wish you an amazing week and I look forward to seeing you next time. That's it for today. Bye bye for now.