Are you feeling a spark missing in your marriage? This episode of the One Big Thing podcast dives deep into the transformative power of romance and intimacy in relationships, featuring Dr. Ed Silvoso, author of "Anointed for Romance."

Together, Ed and I discuss the challenges couples face as life gets busy, often leading to a lack of connection and passion. We explore the concept of marriage as an anointed partnership, emphasizing that romance should not be a fleeting phase but a continual journey.

With practical insights and personal anecdotes, Ed encourages us to reignite our relationships and embrace the joy of love, making every day feel like a honeymoon.

Don't miss this enlightening conversation that could inspire you to breathe new life into your marriage!

Takeaways:

• The spark of romance that once ignited in marriages often fades due to life's busyness.
• Intimacy and romance can be rejuvenated through daily acts of love and kindness.
• God's design for marriage includes continuous romance, not just during the honeymoon phase.
• Many couples struggle with communication, leading to a disconnect and lack of intimacy.
• Dr. Ed's book 'Anointed for Romance' encourages couples to view their relationship as a sacred partnership.
• Simple gestures like breakfast in bed can reignite the passion in a relationship.

_____________________________________

About Dr. Ed. Silvoso

Dr. Ed Silvoso, founder and president of Harvest Evangelism and the leader of the Transform Our World Network, is a strategist and Bible teacher who specializes in nation and marketplace transformation. Trained in both theology and business, he is the author of numerous books, including the bestselling Anointed for Business and Ekklesia. His work experience includes banking, hospital administration, financial services and church ministry, as well as coaching leaders on how to take the power and presence of God into the marketplace to see their sphere of influence transformed.

Dr. Silvoso and his wife Ruth have four married daughters and twelve grandchildren.

Pick up a copy of Anointed for Business at https://www.transformourworld.org/product/anointed-for-business-paperback

www.transformourworld.org

www.edsilvoso.com

The One Big Thing is produced by NQR Media. NQR also produces the award-winning Ditch the Suits Podcast, of which Steve is a co-host. For more, visit https://www.nqrmedia.com/

You can watch all episodes, as well as other great content produced by NQR Media, through their YouTube channel at https://youtube.com/@NQRMedia

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Steve Campbell: 00:00:02

Welcome to the One Big Thing podcast, where inspiration beats transformation.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:12

Happy New Year and welcome to the One Big Thing podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:15

I'm Steve Campbell, your host.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:16

Thanks for so much for taking the time today.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:19

Question for you.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:20

If you're married, have a significant other, or have a desire to be married, have you ever had the thought that something seems to be missing, whether it's intimacy or just passion?

Steve Campbell: 00:00:29

You're married, you're raising kids, but it just feel feels like what you once had when you married your spouse or even in dating phase doesn't seem to exist.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:37

Maybe life has gotten in the way.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:38

You're going from ball field to ball field or time management or budget restraints.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:43

Whatever it may be, in this season of life, something just seems to be missing and it's a lack, it's a spark, it's intimacy.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:49

Well, this is at the heart of my conversation today with a dear friend of mine, Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:53

Ed Sivoso.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:54

If you're not familiar, Ed will go through his introduction, but Ed has traveled the world in his ministry as he's originally from Argentina.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:02

Ed has written several books, many of which that have transformed and changed my life.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:07

He has written Anointed for Business and today we're going to talk about his latest book called Anointed for Romance, which if you've never heard anybody talk about romance and intimacy, you are in for a treat today.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:17

Ed has the gentleness to bring a topic like this up.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:20

And if I think many of us are being honest, we would love to have more romance and intimacy in our marriage, but it's something taboo that we don't always talk about.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:29

It's sensationalized on TV and in media as to what sex should be, but many of us don't know how to make it happen in our own privacy of our own homes.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:36

And Ed talks about it today, but again, it's in a very loving way.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:40

So if you are somebody that feels like, man, I would love nothing more in this new year to feel like the spark that I once had in my marriage or the reigniting of the flame could come back then.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:49

This episode is for you.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:51

So you're going to learn ways that you can begin to implement some of the things that Ed has discovered over the course, of course, of his marriage, being married to Ruth in how you really can have an anointed marriage that's full of romance and full of passion.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:03

So you're in for a treat.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:04

Enjoy this episode with Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:05

A.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:06

T.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:06

Sivoso.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:07

Welcome to the One Big Thing podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:09

I'm your host, Steve Campbell.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:11

You know, an episode is supposed to take place when you hit a little bit of technical difficulties trying to record it.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:16

And you have to do around two.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:18

You folks are in for a treat today as I have somebody who's made a tremendous impact On My Life, Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:25

Ed Silvoso, on with us today.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:27

And I'm very excited about this conversation because of the impact he's made on my life as a man and as a father and in my pursuit of faith.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:34

And we had tried to truthfully record several weeks ago, and it's the only time in the history of recording this podcast, multiple podcasts that I have where we tried to record in the microphone blue and it just wouldn't work.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:47

It want to cooperate and we tried a few times before.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:49

I said, brother Ed, we're going to have to come back together.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:52

And, you know, I think that that's an important leadway into today because sometimes the things that frustrate us or the unforeseen setbacks can actually become setups.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:02

And it gave me an opportunity to really read more into a book that Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:07

Sivoso is going to talk about today that I think really has the power to impact generations that are trying to navigate this thing called life, especially as spouses, as parents.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:18

And so I'm excited for this conversation today.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:20

If you are brand new to the One Big Thing podcast, this is an interview style show.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:24

So it's all about me in my late 30s, being a dad and a father, trying to have real life conversations with people of influence from all different walks of life to really culminate around this one big thing or this big idea that can help you, if you find yourself in a difficult or challenging season, really have one idea that can help you move the ball forward.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:44

And so I welcome you into this conversation today.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:46

Hope you'll check out some other incredible guests that I've had, but this one is a special one just because of a little bit of the rich history that we have.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:53

But Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:54

Silvoso, for those that may not be aware of who you are, you know, what are some things right here at the beginning that you'd want to lay out as part of an introduction?

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:02

Well, Steve, it's such a privilege to connect with you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:06

We have been, I think, playing Kingdom ping pong.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:11

Right.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:12

And I appreciate, I admire what you do.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:15

I think for the audience will be helpful to know that we connected.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:20

When you read my book Anointed for Business, Right.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:24

I mean, it's one of my many books and I what I love about that book, it really shows that whatever you do in life and you enjoy is a projection of a gift that God has given you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:40

If you're not enjoying what you are doing, chances are you are doing the wrong thing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:45

So in anointing for business, we broke new ground because anointing was used for religious things.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:53

An anointed song, an anointed sermon, but anointed business.

Ed Sivoso: 00:04:59

What do you mean business?

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:00

You know, and then I bring up there the fact that Jesus was a businessman.

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:06

His apostles were most of them business people or they work for the government like Matthew or medical doctors later on Luke.

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:16

And so I have the privilege going back to your question with my wife Ruth Palau, who is the youngest sister of world famous evangelist Luis Palau, to lead a network or a family.

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:32

I should call of about 29,000 influencers in five continents.

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:38

And what do we do?

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:39

We take Acts: 19:11

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:43

God can do extraordinary things through ordinary people when they make themselves available to God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:05:52

And so they are changing industries and companies and businesses by taking to the marketplace what they receive on Sunday in church.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:06

And that's such a great segue because almost maybe a decade ago now I was in my corporate job and again working through, trying to figure out that God had given me gifts, he'd given me a passion for people, but just feeling like outside of the walls of a church, I wasn't using what I knew.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:23

God had wired me into my DNA to really make an impact and not just improve a bottom line or increase revenue, but really do the things that lead to long lasting impact and changing lives.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:35

And I had a pastor at the time who, when I had went and spent some time with him over coffee, he turned around and grabbed this book off the shelf called Anointed for Business.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:43

And he said, you're supposed to read this book.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:46

And it was, it was one of those books, Ed, you and I didn't know each other from person, but I took it home.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:52

You know, we had just had my first son, Joshua, which my wife Stephanie.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:55

I have four children at the time of this airing, my oldest will now be turning nine.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:00

And so, you know, it was one of those things.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:02

He was a newborn.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:03

And I read chapter one and then I read chapter two, and then I read chapter three all in one sitting because I felt like you not realizing what you had penned in paper was speaking to my heart, which is Jesus.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:16

I know you've created me on purpose, for a purpose, but I don't feel that I'm, I'm doing the things that this book described.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:22

And so anointed for business was really this opportunity for me to see that, that the people that God has used to change the world many times have dual calls on their life.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:32

And they use their place in the marketplace to really big bring tremendous impact and take the gospel beyond just the four walls into where people are doing everyday life in, learning how to be successful and to grow in your calling.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:45

And so that got us connected.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:46

And I, after reading that book, I had found your Instagram page.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:51

And, you know, being the host of the show, I've talked about this so many times.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:54

I.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:55

I have such a heart of appreciation for people that have made an impact on my life.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:00

And I thought, you know what?

Steve Campbell: 00:08:01

I'll send him a direct message.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:02

I don't know if he's ever going to see it.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:04

And I kind of poured my heart out to you about how much this book had impacted me.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:08

And I saw the little bubbles, meaning that Ed S oso was typing back.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:12

And I remember showing my wife in bed, something's happening.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:17

And you responded in who knew that that response would lead to a friendship and really an opportunity for me to be mentored and discipled through Transform Our World.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:27

And going through, you know, what you've built with this organization.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:31

And so I think.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:32

And you'd kind of mentioned it the first time that we tried to record, but.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:35

But Ed, you have a little bit of an accent to you too, as well.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:38

So why don't you help our listeners understand kind of where, where you're from.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:44

And, you know, I think it.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:45

There was a little bit of brevity the first time.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:47

So I just don't want us to miss it here.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:49

Yeah.

Ed Sivoso: 00:08:49

I would like to reassure the audience there is nothing wrong with your hearing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:08:55

It's my accent.

Ed Sivoso: 00:08:57

Okay.

Ed Sivoso: 00:08:57

I was born and raised in Argentina.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:00

I grew up learning speaking Spanish.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:03

And when you learn English later in life, it comes out like this rustic.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:09

So you should treat it like difficult to catch radio broadcast for you millennials.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:15

Let me show you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:17

There was a time when radio had been dialed and you have to move it and get it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:22

And once you get it there, don't move.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:24

And if you enjoy what I have to say, you will tell your friends.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:29

I listened to this cool guy who had an accent like Antonio Banderas, and if you don't like it, you tell them.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:37

There was this old guy who sounded like Henry Kissinger, remember the Secretary of State for Nixon.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:45

Whichever way, we are going to have fun, because I love life and I love people and I love Steve.

Ed Sivoso: 00:09:53

And I'm here to encourage you if you ask me, Ed, how would you summarize the objective of this podcast from my point of view?

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:03

That you will come to love Mondays as much as you loved Sundays.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:08

So often Mondays is a.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:10

Is a day we don't like.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:12

Oh, shoot, I have to go back to work.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:14

That's why, you know, in the book that we alluded to, I show that God already gave you gift and anointed you to make the world a better place.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:24

But you cannot make the world a better place if you are not happy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:28

And that's where the anointing for business comes on.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:32

Yes, I'm from Argentina.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:34

Don't blame it on me.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:35

I'm forgiven.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:36

It's under the blood.

Ed Sivoso: 00:10:38

But I am delighted to be here with you, Steve.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:42

Let's pause to hear a word from our sponsor.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:44

This episode is brought to you by Ditch the Suits podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:48

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Steve Campbell: 00:10:53

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Steve Campbell: 00:10:55

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Steve Campbell: 00:11:01

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Steve Campbell: 00:11:11

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Steve Campbell: 00:11:16

Yeah, and for even more context, Stephanie and I went through.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:20

Oh geez.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:20

A 13 week course that you had put together about the ecclesia and really just the word for church.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:27

And what I loved about that was it helped you discover who you are and how you're wired, but also kind of where you fit in this larger context of the larger story that's happening.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:35

And what transformer world has tried to push forward is that the world is full of problems that need solutions.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:41

And many times God will bring divine ideas to individuals when they will seek his face and pray.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:46

God, use me.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:48

He will bring ideas and concepts to you that many times in my career I've experienced, I have these ideas.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:53

I don't know where they came from.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:55

A lot of times they don't make sense.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:56

But until I put myself in position and recognize the problem, it's like you all of a sudden have, and sometimes not the full blueprint, but one idea that can help transform a community or concept or in culture.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:09

And so this group, what I've marveled at and why I wanted to have you on this show, you know, most of the listeners of the one big thing are in their 30s, they're in their 40s, they're married, they have children.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:20

We have some singles that have been on the show as prior guests.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:23

But I think many of us are struggling or trying to understand where, where do I fit in in this world?

Steve Campbell: 00:12:30

I, I understand I have a role as a father, as a mother.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:33

I recognize that there are children that are dependent upon me.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:36

But when I see what's happening on the nightly news or in the media or I just don't know what kind of impact outside of child rearing that I'm having.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:45

And even on top of that, I'm raising kids, but maybe at the detriment of my spouse and I not being on the same page, because we're feeling the stress and the pressure financially of trying to raise children.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:57

And so I thought you would be such an encouragement because I can speak firsthand that Stephanie and I, when we are with you and Ruth on Zoom, because you're in California and I'm in Tennessee.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:08

But when we hear you speak and we see you lead your family and just the beautiful simplicity that exists within the Savoso family, it really does make us stop and step back and say, I want to have that kind of marriage and impact where there's just an air that when you sign on, there's a lightness.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:27

I can see how you and Ruth, you know, work together in tandem to complement each other.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:32

And I think that that's really missing for a lot us today that we don't see healthy marriages.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:38

We might see what social media is presenting as healthy.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:42

The perfect family, the perfect picture, the perfect snapshot.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:46

But when you really get behind closed doors or you get in a small group with other couples, people will express we're not doing very well, or we're at each other's throats or we're not communicating.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:56

We're, we're, we're co partnering or, you know, we're co inhabitants in a home.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:01

And so I wanted to have you on because you have anointed for business, which if you're in business or an entrepreneurship, we'll put a link in it.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:08

You have to get a copy of that book.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:09

But I really wanted to have you on because you've also now taken that same idea of anointing, but put it on marriage and romance.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:17

And so I wanted to give you the space to speak about really kind of where this book came from in how for millennials, Gen Xers, Gen Zers, how a book like this, which again, anointed for business, was not something very talked about.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:30

So when you read it, it's.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:31

It's a new paradigm shift for many of us.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:34

We had never heard anybody talk about business.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:36

Anointed for Romance is kind of following that same idea, which is that marriage is an anointed partnership between you and your spouse.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:44

But many of us may not be feeling that way.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:46

So talk to us about the book.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:48

Where did it came from, why did you write it?

Steve Campbell: 00:14:50

And what's the hope that you come from this book being published?

Ed Sivoso: 00:14:53

Well, let me do it in one, two punch.

Ed Sivoso: 00:14:56

You know, the first one you made reference to ecclesiastical, you know, which is one of my books, you know, I'm what is called a phenomenological theologian.

Ed Sivoso: 00:15:07

That means I don't look at etymology, but I look at phenomena in the Bible.

Ed Sivoso: 00:15:13

And after I wrote Anointed for Business and other books and people began to do Monday through Saturday church things that we didn't have language for, right?

Ed Sivoso: 00:15:26

Like an entire bus company becomes church, where they pray for people, lead people to the Lord.

Ed Sivoso: 00:15:34

I went back to the scriptures and I asked the question, if the church is so important, and it is, why Jesus mentioned the word church ecclesia only twice.

Ed Sivoso: 00:15:47

And there I learned that ekklesia was a Greek term that the Romans adopted where two or three people came together, the power of the emperor was delegated to them, and so forth.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:01

And then it dawned on me with crystal clarity that the church is not a building.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:09

The church is people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:11

And now look at this, Steve.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:14

If we are the church, when Jesus said, I will build my church, my ecclesiastical, what he's saying is, and this goes for the I will build you, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against you, so that whatever evil has come your way, greater is he who is in you than the one who is in the world.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:37

And in the old paradigm we say, okay, hold it, hold it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:41

Four more days until Sunday, and then people will pray for me.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:45

No, you are the church wherever you are.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:49

Imagine for a moment there are so many Christians, whatever percentage you want to play with, let's say 20% of the population are born again.

Ed Sivoso: 00:16:59

We can really make the world a better place if we go there knowing I am an extension of Jesus Christ in the place where I am.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:11

And when people got that, Steve, they realize, if what I'm doing, let's take a nurse.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:18

All of us have been in the hospital at one time and another.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:22

I mean, those ladies or men that take care of us, why do they do it?

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:27

It's not an appealing job, right?

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:30

Because God gave them a gift of compassion.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:33

Mercy, a lawyer, a policeman, a politician.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:37

So we overlook the fact that Jesus was a businessman, that his apostles have fishing companies or they work for the IRS and things like that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:50

And so when that book came out, Steve, people realized, I don't have to wait for Sunday.

Ed Sivoso: 00:17:59

I can take Sunday to the workplace, right?

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:02

And then in my book, there's case study after case study.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:05

But then there was a downside.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:07

And this takes us to the next book.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:10

I am from a generation where ministry was number one and family was number two.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:18

But that is also true with business.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:21

I mean, people, you know, climb the ladder, get to the top.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:25

When they get there, they realize, I lost my family.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:29

And at the moment when we are departed from this world, we don't want another tipping investment, another tip on investment.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:37

We want our family.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:39

And then it dawned on me, Steve, that the most sacred thing for God is marriage.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:49

Because now that doesn't mean.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:51

I mean, some people are single.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:53

They are happy being single.

Ed Sivoso: 00:18:55

The most influential person in the world, Jesus Christ, was single, the most outstanding theologian, Paul was single, One of the leading pastors in the New Testament, Timothy was single.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:08

But most people are designed to love and be loved by someone romantically and not only up to the honeymoon, and then they focus on kids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:20

But they are to live in a perpetual honeymoon.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:24

And what I show in that book, and this may shake some people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:28

So fasten your seat belt.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:31

The supreme act of worship relationship is making love within the sacred boundaries of marriage in the presence of God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:44

I mean, look at this tip.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:46

I was teaching this to a group of people for the first time, and I told them, are you God's creation?

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:52

Yes, I am.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:53

Did he create your body?

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:54

Oh, yes, he did.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:55

And then I said to the others, close your eyes.

Ed Sivoso: 00:19:58

Imagine your head.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:00

Isn't that wonderful?

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:02

Your eyes, your lips, your hands, your feet.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:05

And people are smiling.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:07

And then I drop the bomb picture your sexual organ.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:12

Wait a moment, is that an appendix?

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:15

I mean, didn't God create the sexual organs, the most sensitive thing in your body, through which your DNA will be transmitted or connected with another to give birth?

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:28

We are here because somebody, male and female, have sexual organs that connect it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:34

And then I take people to that passage in Genesis where it says that Adam and Eve became one flesh and they were naked and they were not ashamed because they were making love in the presence of God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:52

And that is what we have to recover because the devil is the prince of darkness.

Ed Sivoso: 00:20:58

And anything that we are supposed to walk in the light with.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:02

I'm not talking about being explicit about love making But I'm talking about a father and a mother telling their kids, we are attracted spiritually, at soul level, physically.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:14

One day you will do that, and we have to recover that steep.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:21

In one case study in my book, I said, I ask people, tell me about your honeymoon, and they come alive.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:28

Oh, 20 years ago, we went to Hawaii.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:31

It was outstanding.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:32

And then the radar goes blank and they begin to have kids, they go for a career.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:39

I mean, why not have a honeymoon every day?

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:45

Love making is legal, is ethical, it's biblical, it's joyful, it's available.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:52

Why don't we do it?

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:55

And it's because there is this vignette of shame about it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:21:59

Because when we leave the church building, we are bombarded on television and movies and books and novels about a perverted form of sex.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:12

And when we.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:15

Steve, you mentioned about your kids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:17

I have a movie director who read the book and says, ed, I'm going to give this book to my kids just shy of puberty, before they get into puberty.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:31

Because the first chapter in the book is God in the honeymoon suite.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:37

For those that are married who are believers, what do you think God did that night?

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:42

Did he cover the eyes and say, call me when you are done?

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:47

Did he move to the room next door and say, text me so I can come back?

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:51

No.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:52

We live in him, we move in him, we exist in him.

Ed Sivoso: 00:22:55

He was watching a man and a woman loving each other with spirit, soul and body unto the glory of God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:04

And Steve, I am passionate about this because I see it in our own walk with the Lord, with all the imperfections we have.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:12

We see it in our daughters, their husbands.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:15

We see that our grandkids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:17

And when the Bible says, you and your household shall be saved, it's not just to go to heaven.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:25

It's to be safe from all the dirt that hits us.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:30

And we can dedicate our secular organs, we can dedicate our intimacy, marriage to God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:39

There is an entire book in the Bible devoted to erotic love.

Ed Sivoso: 00:23:46

So what this is doing is opening the eyes of people, especially millennials and Gen Z's and Gen A's say, wow, now the gospel makes sense to me.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:00

Because if you go back, I mean, you are not that old.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:04

But think when puberty hit you, all of a sudden the sexual impulse began to, if not dominate, to permeate your thinking, your emotion, your sensations.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:18

And who is teaching them about that?

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:21

The world.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:22

You know, Anyway.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:24

So that's why anointed for business led to Ecclesia and Ecclesia.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:29

There are other books eventually I said, look, the light that shines the farthest is the one that shines the brightest.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:38

At home.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:40

I had the privilege to be the crusade director for Ruth Brothers.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:44

Luis Palau, the media director.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:47

We were all over the world, but I almost lost my marriage and my family because you have to do it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:54

It's the will of God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:55

Souls are going to hell.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:57

I said, time out.

Ed Sivoso: 00:24:58

Then I pulled back, and we rebuild, and I tell the story in the book.

Ed Sivoso: 00:25:04

I'm not telling people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:25:05

Everything was roses and perfume.

Ed Sivoso: 00:25:08

They were very dark moments.

Ed Sivoso: 00:25:11

But God came through well.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:14

And I think, you know, if this is your first time ever hearing on a podcast that God.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:19

God wants you to have intimacy with your spouse.

Ed Sivoso: 00:25:23

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:23

You know, many people have never heard that, and they might shrink back and say, that seems strange, but yet will be pulled to things on TV that are very sexual in nature and be attracted to it.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:34

But when we don't apply the same idea from Anointed for Business, which that book may not be for everybody, but if you are in a season of hunger and you read something like that, a light bulb goes off, that this is what's been missing.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:47

And I think it's the same thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:48

When you had presented Anointed for Romance and were kind enough to send me a copy, at first, the initial feeling was, this seems strange.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:56

I.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:57

I don't know if I feel comfortable reading a book about romance and physical intimacy, but if I'm being honest, I know that there is something that I'd love to have in my marriage that is not just meant for, you know, creating children or, you know, whatever it may be.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:11

And I think many of us may be struggling with the idea of, you know, passion might be fading or, you know, this idea of intimacy, of when we first got together and we were dating, we loved everything about each other because you're discovering about each other.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:26

Then when you get married in your honeymoon, before children, there's a newness to it.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:30

You move in together, and then as you have children, things get more complicated.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:34

Maybe you're not spending as much time because you're going from putting the kids to bed to going to bed yourself.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:40

And when you look around, passion doesn't seem to be there.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:43

And when passion starts to dwindle, divorce and separation start to become the only solution.

Steve Campbell: 00:26:49

e on to start the new year in: 2025

Steve Campbell: 00:27:05

Many times it's about being our best physical self or taking ourself.

Steve Campbell: 00:27:08

I what would it look like though, if we understood to create a resolution that this is going to be the best year of our marriage?

Steve Campbell: 00:27:15

No longer how, how long we've been married and what I enjoyed about Anointed for romance.

Steve Campbell: 00:27:21

As you talked about in the book, as I read the first few chapters, there was such an innocence to the way that you pursued Ruth and your long distance relationship and writing letters that I began to get somewhat discouraged in my own heart reading it because I didn't quite feel that that was my experience prior to meeting Stephanie.

Steve Campbell: 00:27:41

In transparency, I was, you know, a Division 1 athlete, made a lot of mistakes, gave away my virginity, did not save myself from marriage and, and sexuality was something that seems so taboo and things happened in secret and you never talked about it.

Steve Campbell: 00:27:55

And as I read yours and Ruth's beautiful love story, there was a sense of it would have been nice to have that in my marriage, saving myself or someone.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:05

But what I enjoy about the book is at the end of every chapter there's a reflection from you.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:10

And one of the most beautiful things you did at the, you know, end of the first two chapters is you had talked about how in Matthew, when it lays out the genealogy of Jesus us, there are four women that are mentioned in that genealogy.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:24

And as you read this first two chapters, there's, there's a beautifulness to, you know, being an outside observer of what you and Ruth had.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:31

But you can begin to, you know, question.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:33

In high school, I made a lot of sexual mistakes.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:36

In college, I gave myself away.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:37

I slept with more people than I should have.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:40

That now intimacy seems so hard for me to understand because it's, it's been distorted and dirty and it's been used as a tool for pleasure.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:49

And now you're trying to tell me that this, when in the right mindset and right framework, is an act of worship unto God.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:56

I'm struggling to understand that.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:58

And so what you do at the end of these chapters is in these reflections you had talked about how of the four women listed in Jesus's history, the four of them were tainted in many ways, and yet God purposely chose to include them to show that the broken things of this world can be used as part of a divine restoration and restorative process.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:19

And so I would love for you to speak to Ed.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:21

Yeah, I'm thinking about, I'm picturing my head, the individual or the couple, if they're listening to this or many times we get an idea as an individual and then we try to bring it back to our spouse.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:30

So I would encourage you, if you have a spouse, listen to this episode.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:33

But, but how do we speak to Christian or non Christian?

Steve Campbell: 00:29:37

The couple that has been married for an extended period of time, Maybe they have children, maybe they don't, but they would.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:43

If they were being honest and sat with you, they would say something is missing.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:48

Yeah, the joy, the spark, the love, the, the romance that we once had doesn't seem to exist.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:54

Life has got in the way.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:55

We've made mistakes, we fought too many times.

Steve Campbell: 00:29:59

How do you begin to encourage or provide guidance to help somebody understand your story's not over and you could be one decision away.

Steve Campbell: 00:30:07

So how do we encourage those that feel like their marriage is barely hanging on, they've never told anybody and they need somebody to help them understand the story's not over.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:16

Well, let me, I'll address that in a moment.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:20

But I think it's very important to revisit.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:23

Steve, Jesus genealogy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:26

You know, in Matthew, there are 41 generations.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:30

In 37, only the father is mentioned, which was the way they did it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:36

But then four women are mentioned.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:39

I mean, when I think of ancestors, you like to brag about the good ones, like Ruth's great, great, great grand uncle is Lord Balfour, the author of the Balfour Resolution.

Ed Sivoso: 00:30:52

When we are in a Jewish setting, she becomes a queen of the party because her great, great, great grand uncle, you know, Lord Balfour, who was a Prime minister of the uk.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:05

So we don't talk about the shady characters.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:07

But look who Jesus highlighted or allowed to be highlighted.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:12

You have Rahab, a prostitute.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:16

You have Tamar or Tamar.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:18

Right.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:21

Who have to live with her father in law to become pregnant for the tribe of Judah not to be lost.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:31

I mean, we talk about the lion of the tribe of Judah.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:35

Well, go to the root of that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:36

I mean, it was in sexual relationship.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:40

Then you have Ruth, the Moabite.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:43

That's damaged goods because Moab, his daughters made him drunk to have sex.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:51

And then you have Bathsheba.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:53

So it doesn't matter how down you are.

Ed Sivoso: 00:31:57

What really matters is that God will pick you up.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:01

To miss a plane by a minute or to miss it by an hour, it requires a new plane.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:09

Right.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:09

So I want to highlight that and I appreciate your transparency, Steve.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:15

And when I wrote the book, I asked God, give me sensitivity, Lord, to those that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:23

And by the way, we are not perfect.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:25

We need God's cleansing every day.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:29

So I will encourage people to go back to the genealogies and answer the question, why will Jesus list these down and out characters?

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:44

Because he takes what is broken and makes it into a new vessel.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:50

He glues it with gold so that where was the crack?

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:54

Now there is gold there, you know, so that's one thing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:32:58

The other thing about how do we reignite it?

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:02

Well, unless it was a shotgun wedding, people got married because they were attracted to each other.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:11

They were passionate.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:12

And what I explained in the book is that there are four stations.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:18

You are attracted to someone, you admire that person.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:23

After you are attracted, you say, oh, wow, look at her eyes.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:26

Look at the way he does that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:28

So it's attraction, admiration, appreciation.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:32

Now we say this is very valuable.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:35

And adoration.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:37

Not in the theological sense, because all the gods should be adore worship, but in the sense that becomes the subject of our devotion.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:49

Interestingly, the loss of intimacy follows the same pattern in reverse.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:56

All of a sudden it's no longer him or her.

Ed Sivoso: 00:33:59

It's my job, it's my ministry, it's my career.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:03

Sports can be brutal, you know, because there is so much demand.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:09

So now you not only have your spouse, but you have either another person, real or imaginary, or you have your career.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:17

That leads to depreciation.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:20

He doesn't understand me.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:22

Oh, I don't get the support I should.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:26

Then rather than admiration, we begin to whine, oh, well, you never do it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:31

And then instead of attraction, it's rejection.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:35

But the beauty is this.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:37

This is what I explain in the book.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:41

It's a combination of agape love, which is the deposit that God gave to everybody of his grace with filial love and hero's love.

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:53

You need all three, right?

Ed Sivoso: 00:34:56

Agape love never goes away if your marriage is failing, even if you betray your spouse, God hasn't held back a gap in love.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:07

He continues to love you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:09

But when we lose it, it's not on the sexual arena, it's on the filial arena.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:16

We no longer talk, we no longer listen to each other.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:20

I tell our own story.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:22

I mean, we were having a thriving ministry.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:25

Four kids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:26

I was a published author, and Ruth and I stopped enjoying talking the way we did.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:34

And then you have to do something.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:37

You have to reverse that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:39

And in my case, I made the decision because the tension came, because I was always busy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:46

The moment I left the house, he didn't know when I will be back.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:50

I'm a pastor, I'm always on call.

Ed Sivoso: 00:35:53

I made the decision to bring her breakfast in bed every morning because I said, I cannot tell you how my Day will go.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:02

I'm like a doctor in the emergency room.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:05

People come, I need to take care of them.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:08

But you will know how every day will begin.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:11

Just you and I, only the two of us.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:15

Breakfast in bed.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:16

Now, Steve, it's kind of comical.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:19

The first day I felt like Romeo preparing for a date with Juliet.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:26

You know, I cook her favorite dish, which is French toast flambe with bananas and rum.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:33

I put the carnation with a love note.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:36

I said, she's going to melt the moment I give this to her.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:40

No way, Jose.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:43

She looked at me like saying, what's wrong?

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:46

You know, I mean, because it's like obesity, you know, what is visible is the last thing to go away.

Ed Sivoso: 00:36:53

But it took six months of every day doing that faithfully until she realized that I had given her my heart, my time.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:05

And I gave her the most valuable chunk of time because it was not unusual for me to have three breakfasts.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:13

One at 6:00 at this restaurant, another at 7:00 across the street, and back to this one at eight.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:21

I mean, I was a triple A guy and I'm giving that to my wife.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:26

And listen to this, Steve.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:28

Now we fight.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:30

Who will bring breakfast to whom every morning, that half hour, we laugh, we listen to music, and this is what we agreed to do.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:40

Don't talk about anything negative in the morning.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:46

Choose something the night before that is affirming because that releases the right hormones in your brain.

Ed Sivoso: 00:37:54

And then spend a little bit of time with passionate kissing and hugging because that releases other hormones as well.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:03

You see, and let me mention this in the book, I said to people, where do I begin?

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:11

Well, you need minimum four honeymoons, but with the same spouse.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:17

When your marriage fails, you keep having honeymoons, but with different people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:23

The first honeymoon usually gets very good reviews.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:28

The second one, this is very important, has to happen before your kids go to high school because that's when your wife gets in touch with her younger years and the longings that she had and the dreams that didn't happen.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:45

So before they go to high school, boom.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:49

Have a honeymoon.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:50

Be passionate about it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:38:52

The third one has to happen before the empty nest syndrome hits because most divorces happened either in the first two years or about 18 to 20 years because they found themselves as strangers.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:09

They were talking through the kids were doing things.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:12

But the fourth one, Steve, fasten your seatbelt.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:16

Don't miss this one.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:18

Now, you're a long way from this, so I'm giving you advance notice.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:22

It has to be before she becomes a grandmother because you can never compete with your grandkids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:30

And if you don't sweep her off her feet.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:34

And I have a chapter there where I talk about how we reenacted our honeymoon suite at an older age.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:41

And I can tell you this, we have more fun in our older years than we had the first night.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:49

So the first one, you already have it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:39:51

Another one before high school, another one before the empty LES syndrome, and then another one before both of you become grandparents.

Ed Sivoso: 00:40:02

But ideally, you should have a honeymoon every day.

Ed Sivoso: 00:40:06

Every day.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:07

Hey everyone.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:08

Steve Campbell, thank you so much for listening to this episode.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:11

If it's made an impact on you, I would love to take a moment to ask you to subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:17

But I would also love for you to leave a five star rating and review your ratings and review help other listeners know that this show is worth their time.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:24

So thank you so much for tuning into the One Big thing and let's enjoy the rest of the episode.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:29

Well, and you, you just kind of talked about that.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:32

You know, I think so many of us really want change to take place in our life, but we're not willing to change anything about how we go about our day.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:41

And so there's a hope and in a wish in.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:43

And I think when you're married, I know the enemy tries many times to point out that it's the other person's fault.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:49

Fault.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:49

You know, as men, I know that we really appreciate honor and respect.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:53

And so when you don't feel you're receiving those things, then you may, you know, un, you know, unintentionally withhold yourself from talking or communicating because you don't feel respected going out and making a paycheck or providing.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:06

And women want to have the protection and to know that they're loved and wanted after.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:10

And so I think many times what the enemy wants us to do is whisper, you know, if your spouse was just this way or just appreciated you more in.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:19

Many times we're waiting for a magical date night or a getaway to fix things when what you just said is it's a daily decision to die to yourself and to say, if I really do value my spouse, then I don't want it to end in divorce.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:35

I don't want passion to not exist.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:37

Why?

Steve Campbell: 00:41:37

Because now this is bigger than me.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:38

I have children.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:40

And so I think if we are going to create a confident course for this new year, if you're acknowledging if your marriage is in a great thriving place, keep doing what you're doing.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:49

But I know so many people over cups of coffee and small group that are my age that when you really get honest and open with each other, will say, we are struggling as a couple.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:58

We're not talking.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:59

And it's for many reasons.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:01

Financial, you know, pressures or going to ball fields and feeling like you're running around.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:06

There is a busyness to life.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:08

And there's a book that I've been in the process of reading right now called the ruthless elimination of hurry, which just challenges all of us to think that the world is progressing so fast with technology and addiction of phones and schedules that we've lost the ability to slow things down and to really appreciate the simplicity of walking with the Lord.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:29

Because we're going from the iPhone pinging or making a noise to an endorphin over here to this.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:35

And these are not bad things, they're not sinful, they're not evil, but they're distractions in the sense of wanting to ask the Lord, show me what to do.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:42

And as we're sitting there in silence, our phone vibrates and we have to pick it up to see what someone had to say.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:48

We are immediately out of it.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:49

And so I think many of us are wanting our marriages to be strong and healthy.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:55

We don't always know how to do it.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:57

And I don't know from what you just said, if it's this magical thing other than really asking the Lord if there's anything that you can do personally to show your spouse love in a way that maybe you haven't been expressing.

Steve Campbell: 00:43:11

And that could be breakfast in bed, it could be making coffee in the morning, it could be listening.

Steve Campbell: 00:43:15

So, you know, anything else along those line EDS that even as you minister to your children or your older adult children or in ministry, you know, that can really help people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:25

Yeah.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:26

Well, I.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:27

I think, Steve, you mentioned dying to sell, taking up your cross.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:32

I like to challenge that a little bit.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:36

Romance is pleasurable.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:39

Pleasurable.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:41

So re dig the.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:42

Well, go back to the days, you know, in the movie the Bachelor, I don't know if you watched that movie.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:49

This guy who is paranoid about getting married and he's with a priest in a canoe here in San Francisco.

Ed Sivoso: 00:43:57

And the priest who was a widower and became a priest tells him there's something beautiful about getting married, because as you grow old, you are with someone that when he or she looks at you, sees what you still think you look like.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:17

And I think we need to go to the basic premise.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:21

You got married because you like each other, you desire each other, you are Spending time together and you are looking forward to something else.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:31

Key word, something else.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:34

Routine is what kills marriage routine.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:38

So rekindling romance is not a chore, it's a joy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:46

But we have to understand each other.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:49

We men are designed to be protectors and providers.

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:54

Those are not the most mushy, touchy feely things, okay?

Ed Sivoso: 00:44:58

You have to go out there and hit the world, okay?

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:02

But compensate for that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:04

When a man comes from work, he wants a report.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:08

How was your day, honey?

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:09

How are the kids?

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:11

Wrong thing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:12

She wants a rapport.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:15

She wants empathy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:17

She wants, I mean, before you open your mouth, come home and give her a passionate kiss, excite her.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:29

I mean, you had it before.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:32

I mean, you haven't lost it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:34

And the reality is that people that see their marriage withering, they're already passionate about someone else.

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:44

Fantasizing initially, coquetiando, as we say, flirting, you know, why not with your wife?

Ed Sivoso: 00:45:52

I had a guy, actually a minister, who was struggling with lust, and he was bent on conquering romantically, another lady.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:07

I said, why?

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:08

Because my wife doesn't warm up?

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:11

I said, well, why don't you make it your goal to seduce her the way you are trying to seduce someone else's wife?

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:20

Why not take it like a challenge?

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:24

And you know what?

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:25

Steve, he did it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:26

And he thanked me forever.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:29

He says, ed, it's cheaper, it's legal, it doesn't cost me a divorce, and I'm having fun.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:36

So I would say debunk the lie that love, no love, is dormant but is not dead.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:49

And begin to look at each other in the eye, listen to the other person.

Ed Sivoso: 00:46:55

Ruth and I have a picture of each other when we were 20 years old.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:00

And we have it by the bedside and we maintain a practice to look at that picture.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:07

And that triggers the memories that the other thing to keep in mind, you know, left brain, right brain, left brain is both cerebral, more objective, you know, driven and so forth.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:22

Physiologically, the left and the right brain in the men is connected very thinly.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:30

In women is wider, which allows women to go back and forth between the creative and the task thing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:40

And that's why we have to compensate for that.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:44

One of my daughters says, daddy, so.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:48

And so a son in law called my husband to go to play tennis.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:54

And in one minute they decided everything.

Ed Sivoso: 00:47:58

When a woman calls a woman to do something, it takes half an hour.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:03

Because they thought what they were going to address.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:05

Who will be there?

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:07

What happened with this last time?

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:09

Will it rain?

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:10

And so we need to make allowance as husbands that our wives Want rapport rather than a report?

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:19

That's what we did when we were dating.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:23

We listened to each other.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:26

And then if you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:27

I have a recipe on the book, actually is on the Spanish version.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:31

Because I learned this after I published 15 minutes a day for Intimacy.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:39

Have a moment reading a passage together and pray.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:44

Then talk about something nice.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:47

Don't talk about a faucet that is leaky or the kids.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:52

No, talk about something nice.

Ed Sivoso: 00:48:56

Hug and kiss each other for at least a minute.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:01

Emotional.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:02

And that releases the oxycode and the other hormones.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:07

And once you prank the pump, there is no stopping.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:11

But the basic premise, Steve, is this.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:15

Love doesn't die, becomes dormant.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:20

So look where you are.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:23

Are you worshiping something else?

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:26

Are you depreciating your partner?

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:29

Are you no longer admiring?

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:32

Well, stop there.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:33

Because the next step, you gotta withdraw.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:36

And even if you never file for divorce, you are divorcing your heart.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:41

But the key is the anointing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:44

Anointing is the breath of God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:47

Anointing is God.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:48

I will say to people that are listening to us, Steve, and I'm sorry about that phone there.

Ed Sivoso: 00:49:55

I would like to say, ask the Holy Spirit to anoint you again.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:02

When God created Adam, he was a bunch of dead matter in the shape of a man.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:11

But when God blew into it, it became a living matter.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:17

And right now, people that are listening to the broadcast, God wants to breathe on you his anointing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:27

Let the spirit of God come upon you.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:31

And if you say, well, Ed, I don't know how it will happen.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:35

Well, you didn't know how it will happen and you got married anyway, right?

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:40

It's not that you have to know.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:42

You have to agree.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:44

Mary asked the angel, how can this be?

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:47

And the angel said, very simple.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:50

The Holy Spirit will come upon you and he will deposit a seed and that seed will grow.

Ed Sivoso: 00:50:58

Now, her uncle Zechariah also asked a question when he was told that a miracle baby was coming.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:07

And he was given the shut up and sit down.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:10

Anointing.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:11

Why?

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:12

Because Zachariah's premise was, how can I know?

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:17

How can I be sure?

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:19

Mary said, I'm perplexed.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:23

So I would say to the audience right there where you are, say, lord, I don't understand it, but I need it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:30

You went to the doctor, he gave you a prescription.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:33

You have no clue how that medicine was put together, but you believe that it will help you receive the anointing, Receive a seed.

Ed Sivoso: 00:51:44

Now, in the name of Jesus.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:48

Well, Ed, I.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:49

You know, as we bring this episode to a close, I.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:51

I Think about marriage is so important because I've had people come on and talk about health and fitness and, you know, being in your best, you know, shape.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:58

That is a very individual, individualistic journey.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:02

Marriage is something that takes two people that are willing to work on it.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:05

And if you're needing a spark.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:07

I believe wholeheartedly that we want your marriage to thrive because your children depend on it, legacies depend on it, and you have an opportunity to turn things around, no matter how bleak.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:17

But I also want to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the fact that if it's okay, I'd love to actually close this episode out with just a simple prayer for those that are listening, because I don't know where you've been in your faith journey.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:27

I don't know if you've been out of church for a long time.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:30

Maybe you've never had somebody pray for you.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:33

Let's just take a couple of seconds and say a prayer.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:35

And if you're driving in your car, please keep your eyes open.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:38

But if you are listening to this, just.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:41

Just receive a simple prayer from Ed and I together.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:43

So, Lord Jesus, we just thank you today.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:46

The podcasting is a great platform, Lord, to reach new people.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:49

And, Lord, Ed and I just come together to speak life and favor and anointing over marriages today, no matter how they look or how it seems right now.

Steve Campbell: 00:52:58

How bleak that, God, that you would just breathe new life onto marriages and to help two people really become one in a way that they've never experienced.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:07

That's not a newness that they experienced just getting married and being on their honeymoon, but now, after having children and having chapters of their life written, that it would be a deeper, more mature love and intimacy that grows because they've gone through a lot together.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:22

And so we just speak life and breath and anointing over the marriages.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:26

And those that are listening to this, that 20, 25 and beyond would be your best years that are yet to come because you understand that you are deeply in love with your spouse.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:36

And that's never changed.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:37

It doesn't go away.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:38

It stays dormant, as Ed said.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:39

So we just pray, releasing now, Lord, over marriages, that people would begin to see their spouse in, in just a new way, in a loving way, no matter what has happened in the past, that there would be forgiveness and grace in an opportunity to move forward.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:53

So we just release that blessing, as Ed said, Lord, in your mighty name, Jesus, and thank you for it.

Ed Sivoso: 00:53:57

It.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:58

And Ed, you know, I've never had a chance to talk to, you know, I was trying to think of who you said at the beginning there with the accent.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:07

But this was such a good opportunity to connect with you, you know, to have this conversation.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:12

And I think you're really going to inspire a lot of people that have never heard from you before.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:18

So I would encourage you two great books that you can go pick up today that can help you in the marketplace, which is Anointed for business.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:25

But also, if you are looking to have a spark in your marriage, let's pick up a copy of Anointed for Romance, because I think it can really transform not just your life, but legacies in generations to come.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:36

So, Ed, thank you for being my guest on the One Big Thing podcast and I just appreciate your time.

Ed Sivoso: 00:54:41

Thank you for inviting me.

Ed Sivoso: 00:54:42

And let me say, the book is not just for married people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:54:46

It's for single people to know that God has a GPS for them, that even if they take the wrong turn with a gps, you get this message rerouted.

Ed Sivoso: 00:54:58

Rerouted.

Ed Sivoso: 00:55:00

And why is it that you are that desperate?

Ed Sivoso: 00:55:04

Because you know that the GPS will lead you to the right destination.

Ed Sivoso: 00:55:09

So the book is for single people as well as for married people.

Ed Sivoso: 00:55:13

May the Lord bless you, Steve, and your family and the podcast and.

Ed Sivoso: 00:55:19

And people can get the book@transformourworld.org okay, your resource area, we have it there.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:27

And we'll have a link in the.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:29

We'll have a link in the show notes.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:30

So until then, everybody, have a prosperous and healthy new year, and may your best days be yet to come.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:34

Ed, thank you so much.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:36

Thanks for taking the time to listen to this episode today with Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:39

Ed Sivoso.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:40

Just a real treat for me anytime I get a chance to connect with Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:43

Ed.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:44

But I hope that again, it's New Year's Day or whenever you listen to this, that this episode today will inspire you, whether you're married or in the pursuit of marriage, that we want you to have healthy marriages and, you know, we got an opportunity to pray with you there and just really pray a blessing and anointing over you, your marriage, your children, to really make 20, 25 and beyond the healthiest you've ever been in your marriage, that there would be a spark that would be ignited, that you'd really have context for what God wants, wants to do in and through your marriage.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:11

I would encourage you in the show notes, go pick up a copy of Anointed for Romance.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:15

I've really enjoyed personally reading through this book and I'll put contact information for Dr.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:20

Ed, but as always, appreciate you being a guest on the One Big Thing podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:23

If there's topics or people you want to hear from, get in touch with me again.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:26

Information will be in the show notes, but I hope that this episode today, albeit a little bit longer, can inspire you to move the ball forward in your in your marriage and in your life.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:35

So I appreciate you being a guest on the One Big Thing podcast.