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Intention vs. Perception: How Your Delivery Affects Others
Episode 6415th June 2023 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith
00:00:00 00:10:19

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We are diving deep into the significance of aligning our intentions with our actions and how it impacts our overall sense of fulfillment. As a mom, I understand the importance of going to sleep at night knowing that I've shown up in the world with intention and authenticity. Join me as I share practical insights on how to communicate effectively, even through text messages.

Ever wondered how you can recognize when you're showing up as your best self? By paying attention to our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we can gain valuable insights into our authenticity. I'll share personal experiences and practical strategies to help you make conscious choices in your interactions and relationships.

Remember, becoming our best selves is a process that requires confidence. Throughout this episode, I'll empower you with the knowledge that confidence is attainable and a continuous journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I'll share inspiring stories and actionable advice to help you embrace your true self and navigate through life with conviction.

What you'll hear in this episode:

[1:25] If I can stand behind my intention in how I show up in the world, then I can go to sleep at night.

[3:00] How am I delivering the message?

[4:30] How texting can help you communicate like a real person.

[6:05] How do you know when you’re showing up as your best self?

[8:20] You have to be confident in who you are and it’s a process.


Follow Kelsey: @thisiskelseysmith

Follow Momma Has Goals: @mommahasgoals

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Join our text list. Text "Goals" to (707) 347-0319


Kelsey Smith 0:00

You have to be confident in who you are. And it's a process and it's a journey. You're not just going to wake up one day and be like, I am solely confident in every way I show up. Absolutely not. But you're going to take baby steps every day. And you're going to dissect your intention and your delivery method to say, okay, yeah, I'm confident in my intention, I'm confident in my delivery. Part of it, and here's where I want to improve. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

Kelsey Smith 1:21

intentionality in deliberate because we talk about intentionality a lot, because I don't know about you, but I'm not perfect. I am for sure going to do and say the wrong thing multiple times. I do it all the time. But there's also a lot of times that I do and say the right thing. And if I can stand behind my intention in how I show up in the world, then I can go to sleep at night, if you will, I can say okay, my intention was pure. Or even if I maybe slip up there a time or two, when I'm reflecting, then my intention with my reflection is to improve and do better next time. Right. And that's where I think delivery really comes into play. You have probably said the wrong thing to someone at some point in time, you have probably shown up in a conversation and an event or relationship, whatever it is where you're like, Yep, I would maybe go back and do that a little bit differently. If you haven't, that's amazing. But there are so many times in situations where I've been like, I'm not super proud of how I delivered that message, or how I represented myself at that event, or how I showed up in this way. And usually it's never anything like extreme. I actually can't think of anything per se that I would say, Yep, I am so embarrassed to that interaction. But allowing myself as a an adult looking back and saying, Okay, what is my intention? With every conversation delivery of message of that? How I show up now as a grown adult, rather than a kid? Because I'm sure there's different things I would do from like a high school standpoint, right? But looking at life now. Okay, what is my intention? And how am I delivering the message. And those two things I think are so, so important when it comes to especially tough conversations, let's say you have a friend that's going through a hard time they're grieving, they either didn't get the job they wanted, they've lost a loved one, they're going through the toughness of life, and you want to be there for them. But you don't know how you don't know what to say. This is a question I asked just so many guests that have savour around those various topics. So any of our podcast episodes around those topics, probably will give you some insight. But if you don't have time to listen to that, and you possibly say the wrong thing, allow yourself to have some grace, allow yourself to look back and say, okay, my intention was to support that friend, my intention was pure. I didn't do it, right. And maybe my delivery could be different next time. Now, there's two different ways you can handle that you can work on your delivery for next time yourself. And you also can just apologize to your friend, you can say, hey, I'm really sorry that I said the wrong thing. I think I may not have delivered my message well, but my intention was this. And I'm really sorry that I didn't do it the right way. If we could just allow more vulnerable conversations, and allowing ourselves to make mistakes and mess up. I really think this world would be a better place. And on the flip side of that, if someone says something to you that doesn't sit well. Allow yourself to communicate it and it doesn't have to be in the moment. Maybe you step away. You know a lot of people say like, oh, text, email, whatever. It allows people to communicate in a different way because they're not face to face. True, but sometimes that's good. So if you have had someone say something to you that you would really struggle telling them how it made you feel face to face, send them a text message, but say, hey, not everything comes across is perfectly in a text message. So I want you to know, my intention with this message is to just communicate how I'm feeling. And let you know that I'm not upset with you, this is just the way I'm feeling. Right? So then one, they don't, they don't come back in a different way, because we're all human. And two, you get to speak your truth. And you get to say how you're feeling. Now, I am not a professional in communication. I'm not a professional in navigating conflict or anything like that. But I know again, my intention is to help you communicate like a real person with real people. And I have seen this work well for me so far. So when I know that maybe I didn't do a great job having a conversation, I tried to follow up and say, Hey, I'm sorry, I think that I could have come across this way. Or it seems like upset you. I just want you to know, that wasn't my intention. This is my intention. And I'd like to know how I can do better next time. You're providing you're offering the receival of feedback, you're allowing them to give you feedback on how you could do better next time you're apologizing. And you're acknowledging your intention. Now, I think that this can also show up and just like how we show up as like our personal brand, right? Maybe you've been to a party in the past, and you have maybe overdone it on the fun. Maybe there was a substance included, and maybe you didn't show up as your best self. First question is why, in the sense of why do you think it wasn't your best self? Because that's like the first unpacking to say like, Who are you really? Are you the person that you're putting kind of a skin on in saying, Oh, no, I let down my guard at this party? Is that a good thing? Are they seeing the real you? Or are you showing up out of character because of a different reason, right? And with the wind, and if that situation happens, I think you should look back and say, Okay, again, what was my intention? was my intention that I was, you're having a good time, and everyone else still had a good time. But I just want to work on my like substance control and my energy next time? Or was your intention? Maybe not pure? And were you showing up in a way that wasn't super healthy? And can you work on your delivery in that situation as well, right? Maybe the people that you're around, don't bring the best out in you, maybe those are great people, but you are just working through some different things. And you need to work through that first, maybe you it's truly your own thing. And you just really need to not involve those people at all right? Allowing yourself to know what was your intention, and how you show up in any situation that you look back on, and you're not super proud of is the very most important thing, and then following it up with a change of delivery. So if it's your energy, your words, your how you're showing up, you're like, wow, I stand behind my delivery method. And all these ways, great. But if your delivery method is not getting you the results that you were looking for, you need to go back to intention, and delivery method. I hope that makes sense. I see this show up so much in so many different conversations. And whether it's with partnerships, or women second guessing how they show up into a space or room. You have to be confident in who you are. And it's a process and it's a journey, you're not just going to wake up one day and be like, I am solely confident in every way I show up? Absolutely not. But you're going to take baby steps every day. And you're going to dissect your intention and your delivery method to say, okay, yeah, I'm confident in my intention, I'm confident in my delivery method, I'm confident in this part of it. And here's where I want to improve. And making sure your improvement is coming from purity of your highest best level self, not because you're trying to mold and fit into something that you shouldn't be. So be confident in who you want to become. We have so many episodes where we talk about like personal vision statements and family vision statements. And this is really where that comes back to. Who do you want to show up as in the world? What is your vision for who you are and what you want to leave behind. And if you can look at that and know that your intention and your delivery method in each conversation interaction is in line with your vision of who you are as a human, then you can know that you're on the right track. And again, allow like we always believe in the 80% rule. There's gonna be moments where you don't show up 100% But it's allowing yourself to be okay with that. And just remember, you're human, you're growing, you're evolving, you're learning. That is all what this is about is the evolution, the intention, the delivery method, those are all goals. When we talk about mama has goals. It's every impact and aspect that you have in your life and where you want to show up. This is you just taking action one little step, day by day. Can't wait to talk to you soon mama. Keep getting those holes mom in your life that you see and love her by sharing this episode. Giving while your cup is overflowing always pays itself back tenfold when you need it most.