Why Are Young People Avoiding Committed Romantic Relationships? – Interview with Jack Kammer
Intro: According to a report from the Pew Research Center, a random sampling of nearly 5,000 adults in the U.S., showed that 50 percent of single people are not interested in committed romantic relationships, and are not even interested in dating. Another 10 percent want nothing more than casual dates. This trend has been true for at least the past 15 Years
Here to help us understand this trend is Jack Kammer, who has a passion of helping people see and understand the connection between gender issues and some of America’s social problems. Jack has talked about issues between the sexes on radio, publications, podcasts and in person. He’s even appeared before both houses in Congress! His book called “Good Will Toward Men attempts to help us understand the breakdown is between men and women, and what to bring a balance of power between the sexes. Today, we hope to have an honest conversation about why young people are avoiding committed romantic relationships, and to help them feel more comfortable and safe about pursuing committed, romantic relationships in the future.
I. This is the chaos: Half of single people don’t want a relationship, or even to date!
Jack
• It’s not necessarily that men and women don’t want to be in relationship. Men and women don’t want to be in a certain KIND of relationship
• What does commitment by a man to a woman look like? What does commitment by a woman to a man look like?
• Equality in a relationship as an example: “Who should pay for the first date?”
• Many men DO want an equal relationship…and…what does that look like and what are the expectations?
II. Tracy
• Most of the people who present themselves for psychotherapy are dissatisfied with their relationships
III. Jack – A Message to the Pew People (Researchers)
• “They are not capturing what is on men’s minds”
• Timestamp 7:37 Jack’s mission: To try and articulate in a friendly way the male perspective, and to try and help people understand the male perspective.
• INCELs (Involuntary Celibate) and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are commonly associated with anger, which is a secondary emotion. “There’s probably something they felt before they felt angry.”
• Call to action: For men to put into words what they feel and discuss it in a friendly way, to women who are wiling to discuss it in a friendly way.
Timestamp 9:45: “It makes perfect sense why men don’t want relationship because the idea of a relationship has been so distorted. Men don’t want the trouble with a “relationship,” and would rather have the freedom to not be in a relationship. However….most men want to be loved, valued and appreciated. So they DO want relationships!
• Tracy: “What questions should the Pew Center have asked on the survey?”
• Jack: “Would you like to have a happy, committed relationship with a woman who loves you?”
The social media algorithm: When they want men to click, they show horrible visions of women. When they want women to click, they show horrible visions of men.
• Tracy: What about a relationship that is physically and emotionally and “Safe
• Jack: Better to say to be in a relationship where you feel appreciated and understood.
www.noreallyiinsist.com: Jack’s Dating App Questions, concerning work-life balance
Men want more!
INCELs – 18:24 “Involuntarily Celibate” (See Elliot Rodger) He killed 6 people, 2 women and 4 men in Isla Vista California on 5/23/14. “I don’t think he does a good job of representing men who want to get laid.”
Video: Dramatization on INCELs (See full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NJois4JMGU&t=5s
• Jack: “I’m not sure Elliot Rodger is the best example of an INCEL.” “He was a sick, sick person.”
• Tracy: “What do you think the couple could have done differently?”
Things get a bit chaotic / tense here
MGTOW – “Men Going Their Own Way” are men who are not threatening. “I’m not feeling that there’s much success finding a woman, so I’ll look for happiness in my own way.” This could mean they don’t want any relationship. “However, they would love to be loved by a woman who loves them.”
“I am not going to be marched down the aisle anytime soon”
“They stand for justice, integrity and not settling for a relationship that drives me crazy for the rest of my life.”
Jack: Instead of looking at men under the microscope, try to have some empathy and consider what men are seeing, feeling and experiencing. What are they feeling when they try and express what they are feeling. “We are very uncomfortable and afraid to dare suggest that women are perfect.”
Tracy: What is the blue pill, red pill, black pill?
Jack:
Blue Pill – Take the blue pill and things will be just fine, go with the flow
Red Pill – Take the red pill and you’ll see the reality
Black Pill – Only 2 options: either accept it or change
Solutions:
A New Pill - Purple Pill – What might that look like?
Jordan Peterson Clip at https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_ZbXfEGfy7c
Men are lonesome and people pile abuse upon them. “People are dying for lack of an encouraging word.” Give credit where credit is due. Smile. Acknowledge them. Be a net force for good. “You can be a net force for good if you want to be.” ~ Jordan Peterson
Is this the new “Purple Pill?” Jack says “No. Because the unit of analysis is still on men. We need to be able to take an inventory and talk about the ways that women are imperfect, human, greedy, mean, ugly, sarcastic, etc. And it’s not “misogynistic” to ask women to take this inventory.
Contact Jack:
• Website / Blog: https://malefriendlymedia.com
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/counterfemsw?lang=en
• More information: https://on-boys.blubrry.net/jack-kammer-boys-are-affected-by-sexism-too/
Calming the Chaos Previously Interviewed Jack Kammer in 2023 – Check it out here:
Sexual Chaos – Male Sexual Expression with Jack Kammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP_t9l-34bA
#romantic #relationshipsanddating #mentalhealth
