TW: body image, distorted body image



OUR HOSTS: 

Corinne Foxx - @corinnefoxx

Natalie McMillan - @nataliemcm and @shopnataliemcmillan 

What we're drinking: Josh Cellars Sauvignon Blanc 2020 

TOPIC: 

It’s that time of year again where people are wearing less and lighter clothing, going to the beach, and spending more time outside enjoying the sun. But, for a lot of us, summer can trigger negative body image thoughts and bring up pressure to look a certain way. We’re rejecting the idea that there’s such a thing as a ‘bikini body’ and talking about ways to protect your mental health during this season. Perceived body image often isn’t based in reality一it’s actually influenced by self-esteem, imagination, emotions, and physical sensations of and about our bodies. We believe that Hot Girl Summer is a mindset and we’re here to help you live out your Megan Thee Stallion dreams. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• The four main aspects of body image 
• The seven factors that influence how you feel about your body 
• Examining how certain sports pressure people to conform to a specific body shape 
• Why we need to stop using the term ‘summer body’
• Reasons to ditch the scale 
• Practicing positive self-talk 
• Techniques for protecting your mental health on social media 

EPISODES MENTIONED

Episode 51: How to Practice Body Neutrality in the Age of Diet Culture with Dana Patterson

Episode 8: The Tea on Anxiety: How to Manage & Cope 

END OF THE SHOW: 

Corinne and Natalie introduce Hottie of the Week: Doja Cat 

WINE RATING:

Josh Cellars Sauvignon Blanc 2020  = 7 / Doja Cat 

WRAP UP:

To wrap up the episode, we play a new game called Guess the Same Word. It takes us a few rounds to get it, but we eventually land on the same Harry Potter related word! We’re not sure how we feel about this one, so let us know in the DMs if you have any game suggestions. 

We have a newsletter for our Am I community. You can sign up for the newsletter on our website: amidoingthisrightpod.com

You can email us for episode ideas or Random Advice: amidoingthisrightpod@gmail.com

Follow us on Instagram: @amidoingthisrightpod 

Don't forget to rate and review the podcast! It really helps us grow!

95

[00:00:05] Natalie McMillan: And I'm Natalie McMillan.

[00:00:17] Natalie McMillan: And each week we cover a new topic and we drink a new bottle of wine.

[00:00:42] Natalie McMillan: Fabby summer.

[00:00:46] Natalie McMillan: Fabby summer 20, 20 to 22.

[00:00:55] Natalie McMillan: it's going to work out. I'm not clear on the rules yet. I know we're going

But, but the, should we say what the

[00:01:23] Corinne Foxx: it's bizarre.

It's crazy. But lucky let's go over. Uh, what are we drinking? This upbeat.

[00:01:38] Corinne Foxx: like, um, the girlies love Josh wine. I think they do too. Yeah. I feel like it's a target brand. It's going to say,

I heard it in my headphones.

[00:01:56] Natalie McMillan: say? I know. I know what you want to say. Interesting.

[00:02:06] Natalie McMillan: Okay. Oh yeah. Okay. So last night she texted me and she was like, oh no, she Snapchatted me.

And she was like, I have to tell you what happened to me during dinner. And I have a picture of,

[00:02:24] Natalie McMillan: Kerryn, but not in like a grow up more than like an actually age. I

Because so last night I'm making dinner. I'm making pasta. And you have to boil water to make it's very basic. You do. My 13 year old sister can do this. So I'm boiling water and I have to like move the pot for some reason. And it splashes out of the pot in hits my leg. And this is a pretty big, this is like a shampoo level splash and it's boiling hot water and I'm wearing leggings.

So I'm thinking, okay, the lendings are going to melt into my skin. So I pull them down to my knee.

[00:03:12] Corinne Foxx: pulled my leggings under my knee and I, and I grabbed like a washcloth and I like putting cold water on my thigh, on my upper thigh because it's burned, burnt.

It's burnt.

[00:03:21] Corinne Foxx: then, um, while I'm doing that, I'm also still cooking the pasta and then I'm also calling my mom on speed

And so I'm waddling around. I'm calling my mom. I have like a cold

[00:03:53] Natalie McMillan: mom not answering second of all? What always answers? And also I'm like, what am I going to just be an adult?

[00:04:07] Natalie McMillan: with my, why didn't you? My thing is okay. I like the burning yourself, like, okay. Okay. It's the waddling around for me? Like you could, you can use your feet to like take them off. You don't even have to bend down.

No, I chose to waddle around my house and

[00:04:31] Natalie McMillan: burns are not still on there still.

[00:04:43] Natalie McMillan: myself. You know what, at this point, I think, I think, cause when you told me last night that something had happened, I was like, Is this forever though?

Like do even the adult adults think I'm not, I'm not, I'm still a baby adult. Like when did it happen?

[00:05:11] Natalie McMillan: when did that turn off? I don't think I would do that.

I

[00:05:17] Natalie McMillan: we, what are we doing? We just needed a little drama in your life. It was so

[00:05:26] Natalie McMillan: Oh, I'm like, oh, I brought you burn green. I T I have this like burn green. It's like fringe and it's all fancy or whatever, but it is in my bag.

So you can take it home.

[00:05:41] Natalie McMillan: for me. Yeah. Whenever I embarrass myself in front of myself is when I laugh. The,

Nobody's seeing this, but myself and I'm embarrassed.

[00:06:02] Corinne Foxx: guys also feel like a baby adult, please let me know because I'm out here loss. We're all baby. Okay. So let's get into today's episode, which is how to protect your body image during the summer.

And why we're talking about it because it's a tough

But like we said, at the top summer should be a time for fun. This should be a Fabby time, but if we're preoccupied with poor body image, having fun can. Tough. So we wanted to dive into it and share some tangible ways that we can all have a better body image this

I would like to reclaim the term hot girl summer. Yes. Because I don't think Meg men at this way, but I do think it can be taken this way that it means to be like your most fit version of herself. And I'm like, you're hot because you exist. Exactly. You're hot because your existence, it's not because of what you look like.

So.

[00:07:13] Corinne Foxx: I do think, but I just don't want it to be misinterpreted and I plan to speak

[00:07:21] Corinne Foxx: So before we get into the episode, I do want to give a trigger warning because we are going to be talking about body image, you know, distorted body image.

I know it's a sensitive topic for women, even for men. And so if it makes you feel uncomfy to talk about this stuff, you can listen to another episode or you can skip to the island and

[00:07:42] Corinne Foxx: for guests, the same words. So we just want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable listening to this episode, but let's get into it, Natalie.

So what. His body image in case people don't know what it

Psychological in nature, perceived body image is not based on. But influenced by self-esteem imagination, emotions and physical sensations of, and about our bodies. I thought this was super interesting. So 17 magazine, it was first published in 1944. And at that time, the average model was about five foot seven and 130 pounds today.

Exactly

[00:08:43] Natalie McMillan: look, that's my height. So imagine Kerryn, and then imagine today's model is roughly five foot 10, which is much taller than the average American woman. And her average weight is 115 pounds, which gives her a BMI lower than that. Of many women in impoverished developing country.

Yeah,

[00:09:03] Natalie McMillan: Crazy. Crazy. We need Kerryn on this stuff because.

[00:09:12] Natalie McMillan: of 17. Oh my God. I wanted to

I remember when I switched from 17 to Cosmo.

Oh, that makes me

[00:09:47] Natalie McMillan: sad. I know that literally breaks my heart. Just, we got to get away from this

So it's the way you feel about the way you look. The third is cognitive. So that's the thoughts and beliefs you feel about your body. And the fourth is behavioral, which is the things you do in relation to the way you love. Okay. So there's like, you know, there's the way you see yourself and there's the way that you feel about it.

And then it's like, what do you think about it? And then what do you do about it? Yes, exactly. Okay. That makes a lot of sense, but there's also seven other factors that influence your body image right now. Um, yeah,

I mean, British, I mean, uh, British for Ash. Yes. Um, so it's called counseling directory.org. So they say there are seven factors that influence each individual's body. So the first one is the culture. So in Western culture, there is a definite preference towards being thin. This preference became particularly amplified in the 1960s with models, such as Twiggy being widely celebrated.

And then since the two thousands with many more TV channels, the advent of social media and access to just daily bombardment of manipulated images has taken over to such a degree that you can be overwhelmed. Literally 24 7 like constant. The second thing is self-esteem so healthy. Self-esteem helps to drown out the poor body image messaging as worth is rooted in.

Rather than chasing external approval and validation, you know? So if you have that, self-worth inside kind of like, it's easier to be like, this is some bullshit. Yeah, exactly. Three. So family values and attitudes. If you had a parent who constantly dieted or was an unhappy with their body shape, they will have inadvertently passed on many messages to you.

Interestingly enough, though, sibling rivalry can sometimes fuel negative body image. Somebody has a body that is deemed, you know, quote unquote, acceptable by society. And they're overtly praised for it. Then the self-esteem of the other sibling can suffer.

13 and 14 years older than them. So 14, 15 years older than them. So like, I don't, I'd never experienced that, but I didn't even think about that. Of course, that totally makes sense. I know people are born into different bodies even when they have like the exact same genetic, whatever makeup.

I've been, it's really cool shapes, but yeah, I can definitely see how it would be hard. If you had a sibling that was, you know, part of this acceptable look.

Early trauma can be held in the body and can lead to feelings of unworthy. Or unacceptability focusing on changing your body can be a way to dissociate or numb from the painful underlying feelings. Although this process may be entirely unconscious interesting. Another thing that influences body image is puberty.

So particularly in women, puberty can be a trigger for negative body image. Oh. You know when you're like 12 and that at least for me, I got like a little, a little good. I dunno. Well, yeah. And like your bodies, you're like a, like a hokey mom evolving and like

Cause I was just like getting taller or something. I don't know. Yeah. But

[00:14:20] Natalie McMillan: your body.

Yes. This was like big time me, because literally fifth grade I had boobs, like full-blown boobs. Wow. So talk about awkward. I was in a fifth grade body with like, yeah. Boobs. And so that totally skewed my like perception because also like clothes didn't fit. So I just was like, oh, like, something's wrong with my body?

[00:14:49] Natalie McMillan: Is this, how many do you do? No, I did not. Actually. I remember when Kenny opened under my sink one time to look at something and he saw my like tampons and I was mortified. I was like, oh no, he knows.

He knows now.

This can increase body preoccupation and dissatisfaction. We have a friend of ours that was a ballet, a ballerina growing up and like her about her ballet teacher would like, would be like, you could only have one carrot a day.

[00:15:42] Corinne Foxx: Christ.

Okay. And the last thing that can influence body image is social acceptance or rejection in relation to your body. So if you have been criticized or rejected for how you look, this has an understandably profound impact. Interestingly enough on the flip side of that, if you've been endlessly praised about your appearance, it can lead to greater bodies of satisfaction and feeling pressured to maintain your looks.

So if you're like, oh my God, you look so great. You look so great. Am I gonna look at you in those long legs?

[00:16:20] Corinne Foxx: summertime right now. And we were just talking about hot girl summer and why that can be a particularly triggering time.

Yeah. And the first reason is that people just wear less and lighter clothes cause it's hot. Yes. I'm sure. Kerryn probably is wanting to wear less clothes right now. Cause she's on a sweater, very hot and it's

[00:17:06] Natalie McMillan: So when you're hot, you got to wear less in the fall winter, early spring.

A lot of people with body image issues can sort of hide in large baggy clothing. However, to go out in the summer, you have to wear a little more revealing. Clothing, you know, so you don't get heat stroke, which that also happened to Corrine a few weeks ago while we were recording while we were running very hot, apparently.

And if you do decide to wear concealing clothing, those around you may comment on it, which makes most people hyper aware of their bodies, which is very uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it would be like if it was like a hundred and you were in jeans, People would be like, are you like me now?

Okay. I was just lied to by my weather app. Um, so, uh, another reason that summer can be really triggering is that there are more opportunities for body checking, which I didn't even know what body checking was, but body checking and. Obsessive thoughts and behaviors about your appearance. So individuals may stand in front of mirrors or get distracted by their reflections and, you know, show windows, analyzing the parts of their bodies that they don't like.

So you might spend more time checking things like the size of your thighs or acne spots. You know, now that you're like less covered up. Yeah. We'll show.

Cause she looks at her reflection in the. Yeah, I

During the summer, whether that be in shorts and a tank top or in a bikini, then there's like a lot more added pressure in the back of our minds that a photo might be taken and like uploaded without our permission. You know, you

[00:19:08] Corinne Foxx: Exactly. Exactly. So for all of these reasons that we just learned, what are some ways that we can protect our body

Yes. Number one stop using the term summer body. The phrase summer body implies that bodies need to look a certain way. Favoring thinner bodies in order to be able to enjoy summer. And that's from Sierra Calloway, Jefferson who is an eating disorder specialist based in Ohio in order to move away from a culture that values summer bodies, Robin Hornstein.

Who's a licensed psychologists. Says, we should just drop the term all together and shift into a body positivity mindset instead, or body neutrality, which go to our episode with Dana. We'll put it in the show notes, what episode that was because we talk all about it. Another tip smash, the scale, smash it, stop measuring your worth by the numbers on your scale.

Many of us have been led to believe. We need to fit into a certain percentile to ensure our bodies are healthy. To change this mindset, just throw it away, get rid of it. Then celebrate a life where you can accept your body as it is also practicing positive self-talk. So self-compassion is the ability to see yourself through the eyes of someone you love.

I've been working on that recently

[00:20:48] Natalie McMillan: it's really, it's a really good tip.

So begin by practicing more body neutrality instead of hating your body, lean more into the acceptance of it. And then from there, you can discover aspects of yourself that you truly.

So from Facebook to Instagram, and you know, your favorite TV shows, people are constantly integrated with images of the perfect lifestyle that is totally unachievable. So during the summer, especially it's common for the body image to take a big hit each day with constant advertisements aimed at attaining a.

That trigger word, summer body to combat this near constant assault. It's important for at-risk people and their families to become more critical viewers of the media. So you should take the time to exclude messages or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself from their daily media consumption.

So you can unfollow block report images or accounts that may be misleading or promoting a negative body image.

[00:22:08] Corinne Foxx: Another way to protect your body image. This summer is just surround yourself with positive people.

It is easier to feel good about yourself in your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are. Yeah.

[00:22:35] Corinne Foxx: And I love that another way that you can protect your body image to summer is to stop using the term. I feel fat and ask yourself what you're really feeling. So according to Stella, Staffy a integrative psychotherapists, specializing in body image related issues. We should all dig in a little deeper.

When we think we're feeling quote unquote fat. She says since quote unquote, fat is not a feeling, what is it that we are actually feeling when we think we feel fat? Well that's many things. A whole range of challenging emotions can be interpreted as feeling fat, including fear. Anger sadness, loneliness, anxiety, et cetera.

That kind of reminds me of like, when you're in therapy, it's like naming the emotion, right. That's not an emotion. So like what are we actually feeling? Yes. And so once you have determined the root emotion behind the feeling, offer yourself some support around it, you can do that in several ways, like talking with a therapist, um, mindfulness practices, E F T a emotional freedom technique, which I've never

Oh, that's like the tapping. Have you ever seen like

And we will link it in our show notes.

And actually I remembered this was such an interesting lesson for me when my cousin. Her daughter was like six, maybe. And they were in a dressing room at target. And Carrie made my cousin made some sort of comment about her own body and Lillian at the time, the six year old. I asked her, she was like, do my legs look okay.

And then Carrie realized like, oh my God, I have to be.

And how they're formed and how to protect your body image. You can have a fab summer

[00:25:22] Corinne Foxx: To 20 days, I was like sitting. I was like,

[00:25:32] Corinne Foxx: I switched no idea. Okay. So now let's circle back on this.

Josh Sabean belong. We've been drinking and rate it to our Hottie bleak

[00:25:48] Corinne Foxx: Doja cat. I love dosha cat. I just saw her Coachella. I cried. She's, I'm not kidding. Like, oh, I believe you looked over at me. And I was watching her and I was crying and I just said, I haven't been this happy in a long.

And he was like, okay. She was incredible, her dancing and she's on tour this summer. So that kind of, yeah. Okay. There we go. There's that? I think she's going to get Lollapalooza. I just saw in like July or August, which I'm very jealous about. So one to miss dosha, cat, what are we thinking of this, Josh?

[00:26:29] Corinne Foxx: Okay. One to dosha, cat. Oh, you is six, seven. You have a seven. All right, let's just give it a second. Okay. It's a seven out of dosha. Cat.

All right. This is the part of the episode where you play a little wrap-up game. And this is a new one, you guys. Okay. Because at the moment this was, this was my pitch and it might not work out and that's okay. It's okay. That is okay. So,

We'll link that one to

like

Well, let's say we're going to start with like breakfast. Okay. I think we, we practice. So then you would say 1, 2, 3, and then after three, you and I would both say a word, so let's practice. Okay. 1, 2, 3 day. So I said bacon and you said toast. Okay. So we have to then take those words and try to find a word that is in between those two.

That like connect those two. Oh. And Hey, we're going to land on the same. Okay. So you said pagan. I said toes and I mean, I said bacon, you said to us that's all right. But I would say she really 1, 2, 3, all Benedict.

[00:28:07] Corinne Foxx: lunch? Why would I go lunch?

You know, you never know. That's kind of how it works. Okay. So we're going to try to get, get to the same word. Okay. And I've realized now, watching tech talks, people I've done this a million times until they do it and then they post it. So of course, this is, this is real time guys. Um, so let's pick a category.

What do we think? What we would get something that's the same word

[00:28:26] Corinne Foxx: Melissa? Do you have a category?

[00:28:33] Corinne Foxx: mean, like, I feel like I know you're going to say let's try it. I don't okay. Ready? 1, 2, 3, super

Um, let's do a dinner dinner. Okay. Ready?

[00:28:57] Natalie McMillan: Okay. I hate this game. All right. We got to get one more time. We'll do one more hit. One more thing. One more

[00:29:11] Natalie McMillan: Well, shit.

This is, I really want to try and again. Okay. Let's think let's not think summer

[00:29:26] Corinne Foxx: 2, 3 wage.

[00:29:43] Corinne Foxx: wand. Okay. Ready? 1, 2, 3 cauldron.

We're getting close. Okay. Um, 1, 2, 3 motion. Okay. Uh,

[00:29:57] Corinne Foxx: 1, 2, 3 Harry Potter. Ah,

[00:30:08] Corinne Foxx: You said Harry Potter, you said spell. Okay, ready? 1, 2, 3.

[00:30:26] Corinne Foxx: wow. What a unfun game. We won't, we won't bring that back unless you guys had fun. Um, we won't bring it back. Unless you guys specifically

[00:30:39] Corinne Foxx: We have 16 games actually.

You guys want to bring, we took out, oh, personality tests. That

Anyways. All right. You guys, well, if you liked this episode, we actually have more episodes similar that you can check out. We have the episode on body neutrality with Dana Patterson, that you can go back and listen to. We also have an episode called the T on anxiety. Um, if you want to go back and listen to that, and you feel like you're struggling with anxiety during the summer.

Go check out those episodes. Also you can rate and review our podcast on apple podcasts. If you love it, you can also write in for an episode suggestion. You can email us at, am I doing this rate pod@gmail.com or shoot us with a DM at, am I doing this right pod? And like always we'll be back next week with another episode.

Love you. Bye .