In this episode of the Eldercare Success podcast, Nancy May tackles the key issues when you’re considering hiring an aide for aging parents. This includes whether to hire one or several aides and if it’s a good idea to have a full-time aide living in your parent’s home so you have greater peace of mind – or will you?
There are a lot of unintentional mistakes family caregivers can make that can have disastrous results for you, your family, your parents, and even the aide(s) you hire.
This episode provides direct-to-the-point advice on how to navigate this tough challenge. You’ll learn to make more informed and compassionate decisions for your loved ones and those you hire to care for your parents.
This episode of Eldercare Success is a must-listen for anyone looking for clear, actionable guidance about key considerations when thinking about, and planning to hire one or more homecare aids for an elderly parent.
Host: Nancy A. May has gone from the Boardroom to the Emergency Room to care for her aging parents and educate business owners, corporate employees, and leaders with more strength and confidence in doing well and doing good. Nancy is the five-star author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After! and an award-winning expert in managing the complexities of caring for an aging parent or family member, even from over 1200 miles away, or more. For a Free File-of-Life to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.
#howdoIfineacaregiver #elderly #caregiver #getpaidtocareforelderlyparents #longdistancecaregiver #homecare #homehealthaide #carefacilities #backgroundcheck
Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek advice from your own personal medical, legal, or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2024 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved. CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.
it's Nancy May in Doing it Best With Eldercare Success.
Nancy May:Every day has its opportunity to learn something new when you're a
Nancy May:caregiver, and even when you're not.
Nancy May:I love learning, and I'm hoping you do too.
Nancy May:Well, I'm guessing you do.
Nancy May:But the stress and strain of caregiving is sometimes not the kind of lesson
Nancy May:you want to learn from, or the type of experience you want to learn from.
Nancy May:It's not easy,
Nancy May:and I understand that.
Nancy May:But my job here is to make it just a little bit easier, if not a lot
Nancy May:easier, for you and your family.
Nancy May:I want to share a conversation that I recently had with a potential caregiver.
Nancy May:And we all are, at some point in our lives, whether we want to go there or not.
Nancy May:in this particular case, this fellow was trying to figure out
Nancy May:how to help his mom and dad.
Nancy May:Dad was taking care of mom, some early signs of maybe some cognitive issues
Nancy May:with him, and mom was really having some hard time with some form of dementia.
Nancy May:I hate to say Alzheimer's because it didn't sound like it had been
Nancy May:officially diagnosed, but there were definitely some issues going on.
Nancy May:Mom and dad wanted to stay at home, which you can greatly appreciate.
Nancy May:None of us really wants to be kicked out of our home, forced out of our
Nancy May:home, or forced to move into someplace that we don't feel comfortable in.
Nancy May:And that's not true of everybody.
Nancy May:A lot of people do like to go to social environments and care facilities.
Nancy May:But that's for another story.
Nancy May:In this particular case, he said, we're looking to hire an aide.
Nancy May:And we're going to build a small house or cabin on the property, which they
Nancy May:had enough of, good acreage, good rural environment, and that's great.
Nancy May:But he said, I wanted to hire one person, move them in or give them an opportunity
Nancy May:to live partially rent free or rent free on the property and care for mom.
Nancy May:My reaction?
Nancy May:What on earth are you thinking about?
Nancy May:he was stunned.
Nancy May:He and his family thought this was a great idea.
Nancy May:Somebody could get a nice house, a home, and be there devoted to
Nancy May:their mom and eventually dad.
Nancy May:Here's the problem with that, and there's several.
Nancy May:The first is, you've just moved somebody into your house, whether it's
Nancy May:an apartment, or into your home, or your parent's home, that you're not
Nancy May:exactly sure what their background is.
Nancy May:Even if you do a background check, that only gives you a
Nancy May:partial picture of the real story.
Nancy May:and if you have no experience, Or little experience, interviewing somebody to
Nancy May:really get at the details of who they are, how they behave, their morals and
Nancy May:what their professional background is.
Nancy May:Then you're running blind.
Nancy May:the second point is, if you move somebody in, and all of a sudden things don't work
Nancy May:out, they don't work out with your mom, they don't work with your dad, you're
Nancy May:concerned about the quality of care that's going on, or there's some personality
Nancy May:thing that's just not happening right, try to get them moved out.
Nancy May:Not easy to do, and you, that's not easy to do.
Nancy May:And quite frankly, it's not fair to that caregiver.
Nancy May:I recently heard of another family who had moved a caregiver all the way
Nancy May:from the West Coast to the East Coast.
Nancy May:In a similar situation, they moved her in, and it didn't work out for
Nancy May:them, and it didn't work out for her.
Nancy May:Now, not only had that individual or that caregiver moved from
Nancy May:their own home, a territory and an environment that they knew, into a
Nancy May:stranger's environment, and now had to leave and wasn't sure where to go.
Nancy May:Most families don't even consider that.
Nancy May:The third point is now that now you've moved somebody in.
Nancy May:What happens if they get sick?
Nancy May:What happens if they get tired?
Nancy May:What happens if the situation with your mom or your dad or your loved one
Nancy May:changes where they're just not competent and capable of handling the changes
Nancy May:in the lifestyle or the healthcare environment situations of your loved one?
Nancy May:Not good.
Nancy May:Not good for you, not good for mom and dad, not good for them.
Nancy May:And I say not good for them because this is important.
Nancy May:When you're employing or bringing on a caregiver, you really do
Nancy May:have to consider their life too.
Nancy May:It's not fair to them if you don't do that.
Nancy May:You are, I'd say, a team in making sure the quality of life of your
Nancy May:loved one is strong and healthy and good right to that very last breath.
Nancy May:And you want to make sure that they're with you too.
Nancy May:So, these are just three points as to why I recommend you have more than one.
Nancy May:Ideally, a minimum of three, four, we had six.
Nancy May:the reason why we had six is that it gives everybody a chance to have their own life.
Nancy May:And if something's not working out, one down is not that much
Nancy May:of a deal to a team of five.
Nancy May:Schedules change, lives change, people get sick, mom and dad's situation
Nancy May:change, and your situation change.
Nancy May:And your situation changes.
Nancy May:Mom and Dad's situation changes, and your situation changes.
Nancy May:Six sounds like a lot, but it's really not.
Nancy May:And if you're relying on hiring aides independently, which is all okay, we did
Nancy May:that, or through an agency, you have to understand the difference between hiring
Nancy May:yourself and working with an agency.
Nancy May:And there are big differences, believe me.
Nancy May:so those are just a few tips, how to make sure that you're looking at the
Nancy May:whole issue of bringing a caregiver or an aid into your home with the
Nancy May:right set of balance for you, for your parents or loved one and for the aid.
Nancy May:That's important.
Nancy May:You want a good relationship with them just as much as you
Nancy May:want a good relationship right to that very end and that last
Nancy May:breath, as I say, with your folks.
Nancy May:Why?
Nancy May:Because every day counts for them, for you, and for the aid,
Nancy May:if you've got the right one.
Nancy May:Now, that's not it for Eldercare Success.
Nancy May:There's a lot more that's going on in store here.
Nancy May:And if you're caring for a loved one, chances are you're going to
Nancy May:have to dial 9 1 1 at some point.
Nancy May:So please, I highly recommend that you get the book, How to Survive 9
Nancy May:1 1 Medical Emergencies, a step by step guide before, during, and after.
Nancy May:I've written this book with my partner, my husband, and with many others
Nancy May:who have been there down this road.
Nancy May:He was, my husband was a first responder at one point in his life too.
Nancy May:Doctors, trauma surgeons, aides, practitioners, and those who
Nancy May:are attorneys, accountants, and others who have been in this
Nancy May:life experience themselves.
Nancy May:I guarantee it's a tool that will be of value to you and to those that you love.
Nancy May:It will make your life easier.
Nancy May:So that's it for another quick episode of Doing it Best With Eldercare Success.
Nancy May:As I always like to say, please, if you like this show, share it with a
Nancy May:friend, a family member, or somebody maybe that you just meet online at
Nancy May:Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, who looks like they're under a little bit of
Nancy May:strain, and could use some help, why?
Nancy May:Because it can be your gift to them, and it's our gift to you.
Nancy May:We'll see you soon on Eldercare Success on YouTube, or we'll hear
Nancy May:you soon at EldercareSuccess.
Nancy May:live, the podcast.
Nancy May:Take care.
Nancy May:Bye bye.
Nancy May:Love to you all.