The Chaos of Being a Mom – Interview with Kimberly Keane
Kim Keane is a certified life coach, Reiki and IET practitioner, and podcaster.
Kim has addressed community organizations, schools and colleges, such as Boys’ and Girls’ Club and Purdue University as well as women’s groups,
such as Polka Dot Powerhouse and Moms Who Dare.
She strives to empower women to embrace who they are so they can be and do all that they aspire to.
Kim is here on Calming the Chaos podcast to talk about specific challenges and chaos of being a Mom in today’s world, and offer Moms some ways to become empowered, embrace who they are and be and do all that they aspire to do in their lives. Let’s honor our Moms on Mother’s Day!
2:25 to 4:42 - Introduction to Kim
You can do energy healing, including Reiki ONLINE!
6:09 – Addressing the most common concerns Moms have in today’s world
Mom Guilt – The expectation that we have to “do it all” and “to the highest standards”
Unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, comparing yourself with others
How Moms experience both guilt and shame
Guilt – “I’ve done something wrong”
Shame – “I am something wrong”
8:30 – How do we help Moms get through “Mom Guilt”
• Find out where the guilt comes from – “Who is telling me that I’m not doing Motherhood right?”
• Identifying the “made-up stories” you tell yourself about how good of a Mom you are
• Noticing how you compare yourself to other Moms, and finding yourself lacking
• Letting go of comparisons with realistic thinking – you never know what is happening in other families
• Therapy can help you learn to notice what your body feels like when you feel the guilt
• Notice and identify the triggers, perceptions in your mind
• Checking the facts – separating the truth from the “made up stories.” Putting your Guilt on Trial
• Identify your values and separate them from other Mom’s values – Live in alignment with YOUR values
15:00 – The working Moms and the Stay-at-home Mom have the same struggle
• Setting up a routine is important – plan out your time and set boundaries with family members
• “I need your help, children / partner”
• Relinquish control
• The whole family gets used to a new routine
17:19 – 19:00 Kim’s routine she set for herself and how her family has cooperated with her!
19:18 – Kim answers Tracy’s follow up questions:
1. How do you get your kids / partner to understand why a plan is so important?
2. How do you convince them to cooperate with you?
23:00 - How did Kim become so good at time management? www.flylady.net
• Focus on fewer tasks in a bullet journal (she found them on Pinterest)
• Finding pockets of time during the day for tasks
26:00 As we’re shifting out of it, some Moms are getting judged and / or criticized others or self
29:30 – Dealing with ALL of the critics (others and self) and remembering your values, using intuition
School Violence / Bullying / The School System / Conflict
32:36 – Understanding all of the possible reasons why a person might bully others, all the dynamics, and understanding who they are individually, what values they stand for, so that they don’t become bullies
34:47 – Identify feelings and asking adults and others for help
35:00 – 38:30 What if YOUR kid is the bully? (Discipline and communication tips from Kim) – Getting to the root and both parents and kids make adjustments.
39:04 - How Kim works with Moms who are considering divorce or who are divorced
“What’s the motivation for leaving or staying?” “Is it a healthy motivation?”
40:42 – Kim’s suggestions to Moms who are struggling with their kids’ use of social media
“It’s not about not trusting you….it’s about ensuring that you are safe.”
Setting standards in accordance with your values, using a timer and time limits
43:43 – Kim’s website tour, talking about her podcast, her blog and social media links
Podcast: “One of a Kind You” at https://www.kimkeane.com/oneofakindyou
50:08 – Kim’s parting thoughts for Moms: “Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace and compassion, like you would give your best friend.