Valentine’s Day can be tricky when you are single, especially after a divorce or breakup. Today, I have family therapist Brian Burns on the show to give some great tips about battling loneliness and knowing when you are ready to move on to a new relationship. We touch on the difference between grieving the loss of a loved one and experiencing heartbreak because of the end of a relationship. Lastly, Brian discusses the healing that needs to occur before you are ready to enter a new relationship and how to get practice in the dating world post-heartbreak. Tune in today for some great tips, or share with a friend experiencing heartbreak and struggling this Valentine’s Day.

In this episode:

[1:17] How to fix a broken heart and deal with the feelings you may experience on Valentine’s Day. [3:48] Brian talks about loneliness and how you can take control of negative emotions. [9:40] Brian’s advice on what to do when going through heartbreak. [14:23] What is the difference between grieving the loss of life and a breakup? [17:47] How to work through the battle that is going on in your mind. [18:39] How do we know when it’s time to return to the dating world post-heartbreak? [22:58] How to look at dating as a practice to find your next relationship. How dating apps are a great way to practice.

Key Takeaways:

If you are experiencing loneliness, do one thing each day to connect with others. This could be a phone call, a text, or talking to the person in the checkout line at the grocery store. You never know who else is lonely, so brighten your day and someone else's through connection. Knowing and understanding what happened in your past relationship and what you would do differently in a new relationship is essential to moving on and finding a new love. Our brain is always searching for dopamine, so when you are experiencing loneliness, it will search for a time when you were happy. This may bring up times with your ex-spouse and create a feeling that you were the one who “ruined it.” Take the time to uncover the reality of the situation. If you were the right people for each other, then you wouldn't be experiencing divorce.

Quotes:

“You're confident in yourself; you know how you want to be as a human in a dating relationship. You have confidence in yourself that you can say yes when you're ready to say yes and no when it's not right to say yes.” - Brain Burns

Guest Bio:

I’m Brian Burns, and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crises restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved.

I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best.

Resources:

Brian Burns Website

Email: Brian@mnrelationshiprepair.com

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses