I recently learned the concept of living "in the gain" from the book The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. Today we're talking about the 3 main benefits that come from focusing on how far we've made it so far in life in business, instead of how far we still want to go.

Making and accomplishing goals is great, but when the goalpost keeps moving, we do ourselves the disservice of acknowledging our past and current blessings and living in lack instead of gratitiude. Learning to live in the gain while keeping God as your business partner will be a total game changer!

The Gap and The Gain Book

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back friends today.

I'm going to talk about an amazing book that I read last year.

You guys book readers.

If you want to join me on good reads, come find me over there

because I love, love reading books.

And I also love sharing.

My favorite books with people.

But last year I read this book called the gap and the gain.

And if you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it.

It's by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy.

And it was a really unique look at gratitude, living in gratitude and

abundance, instead of lack and scarcity, which I think is really, really important.

And we talk a lot about in our life coaching sessions.

So an easy way to explain the concept of the gap versus the gain is like this.

Let's say that where we currently are is the main floor of a home or a building.

Where we were in the past is like the basement where we've come from and

where we want to go is the second floor.

But how so many of us live our lives is instead of rejoicing at how far

we've come up from the basement.

Most of us spend way too much time looking upwards at the

second floor where we want to be.

But there's one major problem with this aspect of living life.

And that is that the second floor keeps moving.

Okay.

So we create goals.

We have, um, aspirations.

And when we get there, it's never good enough.

We think we want one thing we want to reach a specific, uh, goal outcome.

And then when we get there, we haven't moved the goal without

spending any time rejoicing or celebrating and how far we've come.

So that's the essential.

Idea of the gap and the gain,

the author say that the gain is how far we've come up from the basement.

And the gap is how far we have to go to reach our goals, but

the gap just keeps growing.

That's the problem, right?

So I just love this concept so much.

And I talked about it to anyone who had listened to me for months after

reading the book, because it was so revolutionary to me, maybe just the

way they explained it was so clear.

But as I continued to grow my own business, I have realized that living

in the gain instead of the gap,

Especially with God gives us three main benefits.

So I'm gonna talk about why we want to live in that gain instead of the gap.

So.

The first main benefit is that it keeps us grateful.

I mentioned at the beginning, right?

We We want gratitude and abundance versus lack and scarcity.

It just feels so much better and it keeps us happier.

Those who live in the gain.

That is the period between where they've been in the past

and where they currently are.

Right?

far they've come.

They realize how much they've done, but more importantly, they realize that God

is the one who has gotten them this far.

Pretty cool.

Right.

If we are going to be Christians living in the game, we have to

remember that God helps us get there.

We are conscious when we live in this game of how much we've been given.

We're conscious that we have these physical blessings.

We recognize opportunities that have come to us and we are constantly

thinking God for them, because we know that it's thanks to him.

We have all these amazing things and opportunities.

It is really, really hard to be unhappy and dissatisfied with life and bitter.

When you are looking at everything you've been given and all the things

you've been able to accomplish.

The trick, obviously here is acknowledging God's hand in all things.

If we don't acknowledge God's hand, we run the risk of just becoming narcissists.

I'm talking about how wonderful we are.

We are all the time.

We want to acknowledge that he is the reason we got here.

So there, there are three main ways that I personally tried to do this.

And I want to share them with you guys.

Cause I think they're really important.

One I've shared before, but these other ones are important to them.

So when I see God intervening in my business in some way,

so that could look like.

Um, an opportunity that I didn't see coming, it could look like some

unexpected income in my business.

It could look like meeting just the right person at just the right time.

The first thing I do is I say a prayer of gratitude, so acknowledge to God.

Hey, I see your hand in this.

And I'm so grateful for thank you.

I, that did not go unnoticed by me.

I think that's the most important thing.

Dear God.

I see you.

I thank you.

I needed that.

And I promise not to squander that blessing.

I will use it to the best of my ability.

So that's the first thing I do is that prayer of gratitude.

The second thing I do when I see God's hand in my life, especially

in my business is I tell someone.

Sometimes it's just, my husband will lay there in bed at night and I'll go.

He don't happen today.

I think this was really cool.

This was definitely from God.

And I really appreciate that.

And I'm so grateful for it.

Um, very often it's my business.

Bestie.

If you don't have a business bestie, you need one, go find

somebody who's building a business and become best friends with them.

Or another Christian friend and the reason it's going to be a believer.

Is it because it has to be someone who's going to feel awe

and gratitude along with you.

You don't want to tell your neighbor who doesn't believe in anything.

Because they're probably not going to appreciate it the way you appreciate it.

They're probably just going to write it off as coincidence or luck.

You don't want that thought to permeate your brain.

You want to acknowledge that it comes from God and be grateful.

In the end.

I believe that everything good that comes into our life comes from God.

But even if it doesn't, even if it is coincidence, wouldn't you

much rather be guilty of thanking God for too much than too little.

I don't think that is a thing that we can thank God for too much.

But I definitely want to share the news with someone else because I think

not only does it strengthen my own faith and what just happened, it also

helps strengthen my friend's faith by sharing it by acknowledging that

something good happened in my life.

Thanks to God.

They can also start looking for in their life.

So prayer of gratitude, sharing with somebody.

And then finally I write it down.

This is the thing that I've talked about in other episodes.

One of my most prized possessions is my journal of God's dealings in my life.

It's just a regular old journal.

No book, whatever.

And anytime I see tiny miracles or beautiful coincidences or

other inspirational happenings.

I write them down in this journal, so that.

I can acknowledge that they happened.

And I can look back at them when things get tough.

This is one of my favorite ways to lean into gratitude.

It's a written record that I can look at any time I need to, to

get just a shot of inspiration or some of those warm fuzzies, right?

Just that feeling that I need to remind myself that God is with me

and that I'm on the right path.

So prayer of gratitude, sharing with somebody who will appreciate it

with you and then writing it down.

I think those are really, really important ways to keep us

grateful and living in the game.

The second benefit to living in that gain, especially with God as our partner.

Is that we acknowledge our infinite potential.

And how far we can get with him by our side.

Like I mentioned before, if we rely just on our own merits, our own efforts.

In looking back at how far we come, we run the risk of becoming

egotistical narcissists, where we just think we're so great.

But if you've noticed we, Christian women do not usually swing that

direction of the pendulum, right?

The pendulum swings in the opposite direction, where we are, self-deprecating

berating ourselves, beating ourselves up.

We downplay our efforts and talents and pretend that we

didn't do any of it ourselves.

We Christian women love to put our own abilities.

Just really downsize our own abilities.

And our gifts and our accomplishments.

And we think that we're doing that to make us humble.

In fact, I have an entire episode, that's going to be all about this concept.

So just, just wait and watch for that one, because I think it's really important.

But instead of becoming narcissists and, you know, egotists, we instead think,

well, I didn't really do that much.

I mean, God put this in my way.

And somebody did this part and it just, it wasn't really a big deal.

We need to stop that immediately.

I'm not saying we have to think that it's all about us, but if we do

not acknowledge our own potential, we will never get anywhere.

We will just sit there and just.

I think it's all coincidence in all luck.

It's not luck.

How far you've come so far.

Is a combination of God's help your own unique talents and

abilities and your own hard work, acknowledge that and embrace it.

And if you can, there's no stopping you in the future.

Okay.

this does downplaying our own abilities and talents as keeps us safe.

And God doesn't want us to stay safe.

He wants us to do scary things.

I know I know that is hard to hear, but.

Please do not deny the gifts that God has given you and the growth

that he has helped you acquire.

Both of those things are so important to acknowledge if you struggle.

To acknowledge this potential for greatness, because I know we all do.

Remember that that's not God's influence on you.

That is somebody else is influenced telling you that you're not

talented and you're not great.

And you don't know how to work and you don't know how to do anything.

Good.

That is Satan's influence.

So please pay attention to that and kick it to the curb.

is one way.

That Satan can keep God's people from changing the world it's by telling

them, well, you're just not good enough.

Sure.

You could start that business.

Like so-and-so over there, but you as pretty as her and you don't have the

talents that she has and you don't have the abilities and you're not rich

enough and you're not young enough.

It's all nonsense.

It's all his way of keeping you stuck.

And save.

So please do not buy into any of that.

Do not believe that downplaying your abilities and talents

is making you humble.

That's not humility.

It is just hiding.

Okay.

are, there's my tough love for today.

Okay.

So step into the game of your life.

How far you've come.

Regularly look at what you've built and if you're just at the beginning

of your business, that's great.

Look at who you've been able to help in your life outside of things, maybe through

church or your family or your community.

This is not bragging.

It is celebrating goodness, because without him, we are nothing.

And so when we celebrate all the things we've been able to accomplish, we're also

celebrating him and we're acknowledging that we have so much more to give.

I'll get off my soapbox now, but that part is really important for me.

Please acknowledge your potential with God's help.

third way that living in the gain helps us is that it fights imposter syndrome.

Okay.

ties a little bit in with number two.

Everyone has talents and expertise but when we are constantly Really looking Uh,

Upwards Towards those impossible goals That we've made for ourselves Selves

we very often feel like an impostor especially when we start comparing

ourselves with others who may be a little bit farther ahead if you want to call

it that in their entrepreneurial journey so let me just tell you about myself for

a second I have built a business of one kind or another for over 10 years i've

been an entrepreneur for over 10 years i learned so much i've learned how to use

software and done marketing and sales and so many amazing talents And I've made

thousands of dollars and i've been able to figure out how to build businesses while

having a ton of babies and homeschooling them all at the same time But i still

feel like an imposter all the time Like i said especially when i look at others

who may be Look like they're a little bit farther ahead On then me on this success

path or where i measure myself against impossible standards My goals are always

moving i reach them and then i make another One that's farther along and what

that Very often does is just keeps me dissatisfied and that is not Godly Okay.

Measuring backwards they say this a lot in the gap in the

game book measuring backwards.

Has me realized that i do know stuff And i know how to learn and i belong in the

entrepreneurial space just like you do Anyone who has that spark to go build

something of their own belongs in that space i'll tell you a quick little story

a couple of weeks ago i signed up to do a presentation at a coworking space so

that's one of those, these offices where people can just rent a space to come

work um from their computer and um you know get a little bit of networking meet

some people and also have a quiet office space if you don't have that at home And

i showed up And i had imposter syndrome Major lee because i just haven't Uh, Been

around a lot of people working regular jobs i've been around a lot of moms Right.

So i fit like i fit in with the moms i feel like i don't always fit in with the

people who have full time gigs, especially if they work for a corporation that is

not their own okay so i was feeling some major imposter syndrome i've since been

back to this coworking space and have met a bunch of people and love it and realize

i totally belong here i'm an entrepreneur building something amazing But it still

comes up a little bit for me especially when i share what i do or my history or

the fact that i've spent most of the last 18 years just Wiping baby bones and not

necessarily being in a work space right so just acknowledge when that comes up for

you Realize that you have things to give to the world and you have already made

it a better place in so many ways that is true of every one of us unless you've

lived in a cave and haven't interacted with anyone you have made the world a

better place so acknowledge that write it down if you need to and come back to

that remind yourself every time you start feeling like an Foster You have so many

experiences and opportunities that have made you who you are today Well another

exercise I'd love doing is uh thinking about myself as a 17 or 18 year old and

looking at myself today as a 43 year old I think i would be amazed i would

think wow look at all the things you've accomplished look at all the talents

you've created look at all the things that you've done Sometimes it's fun for

me to just think back at that teenage self and how amazed she'd be at all the

opportunities i've had to enjoy and to learn in my life so do the same exercise

for you if you need to um you think if you truly think that a younger you would

be disappointed in you today then don't do this exercise You need to work on

some thoughts first Um just acknowledge how much you have done because.

i guarantee it's more than you are realizing Finally i want to talk for

a second about goals cause you might be wondering well how do i make goals

and look forward to them if i'm always measuring backwards if i'm always looking

at how far i've come goals are still important right and the only way to move

forward yes absolutely So important So keep a few things in mind when making

these goals In order to still live in the game okay The first one celebrate old

goals first before you make new ones we love to hit goals Smile for five seconds

and then start thinking of the next one oh i'm so glad i got my website up and

running yami Oh, But i still have to do the email list oh but i still have to

figure this out oh stop that Celebrate like truly celebrate One time a friend

and i business friend and i did a online webinar together and we live in separate

states And after the webinar we decided to both drive to dairy queen with each

other on The phone and get an ice Cream come together and that It Was so fun

It was a real physical manifestation.

A Station of our celebration of After putting countless hours into this webinar

and making It happen I think that was kind of scary and overwhelming for us.

So please Create a celebration It doesn't have to be sugar but that's

fun sometimes Stop take time.

time to celebrate Great take time to lean into that accomplishment And remember

our gratitude practice On step one.

one right.

that Prayer of gratitude Thank you god for letting me helping me reach the

school and then tell a friend or five or the internet I Put it on facebook tell a

lot of people and write it down in your journal so that you can celebrate both you

and god's hand in this thing okay Okay.

So Celebrate the old goals Another idea is.

This is something that i tried A little while ago a few years ago

when i made my last dream board which i highly recommend doing it So.

so fun it's like scrapbooking You get A big poster board cut out some magazine