How do you find the self-belief to keep going in your private practice marketing when it doesn't seem to be working? And how can you find the courage to continue to try and reach clients?

In this episode:

• How reflecting on your past helps you to find the inner strength to cope with present difficulties
• An exercise to explore past strategies for overcoming challenges so that you can apply them now
• Identifying your motivation and goals - so you can maintain your determination
• The importance for self-compassion of acknowledging feelings around setbacks
• The role of community in supporting your resilience
• How to reframe the difficulties you're experiencing as a normal part of private practice development

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: The Challenges of Developing a Counseling Practice

02:06 The Importance of Counseling and Making a Difference

03:04 Drawing on Resilience: Overcoming Challenges

05:00 Accessing Resilience: Reflection and Self-Support

10:20 Maintaining Motivation: Goals and Values

11:45 Reframing Setbacks: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

13:41 Building Support Networks: Communities and Networks

14:10 Conclusion: Every Step Gets You Closer to Your Dream

Keywords

counselling, practice development, challenges, resilience, motivation, support

Setting up in private practice? Download my free checklist HERE

Need ideas for how to get clients? Download my free handout 21 Ways for Counsellors to Attract New Clients HERE

You can also find me here:

The Good Enough Counsellors Facebook Group

Josephine Hughes on Facebook

Josephine Hughes on YouTube

My website: josephinehughes.com

The information contained in Good Enough Counsellors is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this podcast are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this podcast. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this podcast.

Josephine Hughes disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this podcast.

Speaker: 00:00:01

I vividly remember when my youngest was

born and I had three very small children.

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The song, Hi, by the Lighthouse family was

on the radio.

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The words, when you're close to tears,

remember one day this will all be over,

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was one of the things that kept me going.

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We humans have great coping abilities and

I believe that as you face challenges in

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developing your counselling practice,

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You're capable of finding your way

through.

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I wonder if you've had an experience where

day after day it's been a challenge to

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keep going.

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It might have been that you found daily

life at school difficult or you were in a

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difficult relationship or a difficult job

or perhaps you faced personal challenges

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in your health or have lost people you

love.

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Many counsellors tell me that they found

their inspiration to train as a therapist

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from when they took their own troubles to

therapy.

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Being able to process their difficulties

made them want to help others to do the

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same.

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It may not even have been as explicit as

that for you.

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It's possible that you've always had a

desire to help others heal from the pain

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that you've experienced, or maybe that you

want to prevent the pain that is inflicted

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through intergenerational trauma.

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I think for so many of us, counselling is

not just a job.

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It's actually a vocation.

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We long to make a difference to people's

lives.

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And that means it can be incredibly

frustrating when it's difficult to be able

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to find work, either as an employed or a

self -employed counsellor.

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That's what I'm going to address today.

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How to be able to find the courage and

strength to continue even in the face of

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obstacles because...

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What you want to do is vital for the

individual people you help and to our

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society as a whole.

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People who are healed are able to make

better choices and live better lives and

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that helps us all.

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Part of what inspired me to create this

episode was a meditation which asked me to

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honour the times that have made me the

person I am today.

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It took me back to the moment where I

realised,

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that I am the person I am, not despite the

troubles I went through, but because of

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the troubles I went through.

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They taught me what was important to me as

a person, and that helped to shape my

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values.

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They showed me the truth of my own

humanity, which enables me to empathise

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with others.

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And the fact that I survived them showed

me that I'm far more capable than I tend

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to give myself credit for.

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In the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert

workshop that I attended recently, she

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asked us to write a letter from what she

called that mama bear part of us, that

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fierce part of ourselves that stands up

for us and won't allow us to quit or does

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allow us to quit when others are telling

us we can't.

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And we had to ask ourselves, what did that

mama bear have to tell us?

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We started to write ourselves a letter

with the words, dear,

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insert your name, I am your resilience and

this is what I want to tell you.

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My resilience reminded me of the time I'd

drag a large suitcase in the days before

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they had wheels from place to place during

university holidays because to go home, in

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inverted commas, to my parents was more

than my spirit could bear.

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Resilience gave me the audacity to ask

people if I could stay with them, the

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fortitude,

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to cope with their jokes about the size of

my massive suitcase, which contained

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everything I needed for the three months

of the holiday, and the capacity to

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tolerate the discomfort of relying on

others.

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In the letter, resilience also reminded me

of how I got through those early days when

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my children were tiny.

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And it reminded me that it gives me the

strength to stand up for them now that

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they've come out as transgender.

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Perhaps when you've finished listening to

this episode, you may like to listen to

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what your resilience would like to tell

you.

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I wonder, what would your resilience like

to say?

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Maybe it will tell you, it gave you the

courage to leave or it gave you the

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courage to stay.

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It gave you the courage to continue to

live and it gave you the courage to be the

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person you are.

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Most importantly, I think resilience would

like you to know.

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that it is here for you now.

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There's no doubt that many of you find it

tough to find paid work as a counsellor.

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And that's why I do the work that I do to

help you with practical advice on how to

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market yourself.

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And please do check the show notes for the

handouts that can help and keep listening

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to the podcast for the practical how -to

episodes.

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I know that many of you feel discouraged

and it can be particularly hard when

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you're at the start of your private

practise.

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and the measures you've taken to market

yourself don't seem to be working.

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I'd like to reassure you that success is

on the way, but it takes time.

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It can take time both for people to hear

about you and to take action and for you

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to find ways to market yourself that work

for you.

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So what can you do to sustain yourself and

keep yourself going in the meantime?

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This is where your resilience can help you

and why it's so helpful.

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take time to reflect on the strength it

has given you in the past.

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What did you tell yourself during

challenging times that enabled you to

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cope?

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What strategies did you use to get through

each day?

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What gave you the strength to make the

changes that you did?

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And a little side note here, sometimes the

strategies we've used in the past weren't

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the most healthy of choices.

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But let's take a moment to acknowledge

that you did what you could to survive.

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Now you know more, you can make different

choices, but you did what you could at the

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time with what you knew then.

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You can still thank your past self for all

that it did to help you.

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You may never have given yourself time to

honour the ways in which you've coped in

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the past.

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Perhaps you've shied away from it because

it feels boastful or you're thinking,

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well, if I did it, it's nothing to be

proud about because anybody could have

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done it.

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But that minimises your effort and the

determination that you made.

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You probably wouldn't say that to yourself

if you were your own client.

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It's not about being boastful or full of

yourself.

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It's about acknowledging that you found it

tough, but you've come a long way.

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It's helpful to name the ways you got

through.

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Those strengths are still there and you

can dig deep and use them to continue on

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your path now.

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You have got through things in the past.

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and you can get through things now.

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Having acknowledged how resilience has

helped you in the past, I think it's

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helpful to ask yourself how you could

access more resilience now.

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What enables you to do that?

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What gives you the courage to continue?

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Actually, for me, it's often not about

finding the courage to continue, as to

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realise that I don't have a lot of choice

in the matter.

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We often discover our strength in

adversity, and to be honest,

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I seem to be a master at getting myself

into situations where the options are

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either to do the thing or to face

something that's more unpleasant.

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So I do the thing.

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If we think about carrot and stick, that

is probably a stick.

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Do it, or you're going to experience

something unpleasant.

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But one of the things that could be

considered a carrot is to think about what

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it will mean to you to achieve the thing

you hope for.

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The very first time I sat down to develop

my Good Enough Mum idea, I started to

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doubt and question myself.

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My inner critic got going and asked, who

do you think you are?

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What makes you think that you're good

enough to do this?

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That thought stopped me in my tracks.

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But when I spoke to my business coach, she

gave me the formula that really does make

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a difference to me.

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She told me to think about the people I

was trying to help.

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For me,

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The carrot is thinking about the lives

that will be changed if I take action.

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It does motivate me if I imagine that

there's people out there in pain who need

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help.

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Somehow my own fears then seem a lot less

significant.

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And I also know that it brings me joy to

make a difference to people's lives.

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It's not all about altruism, though.

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It fulfills a part of me that wants to

make an impact on the world.

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And yes, I'm motivated by the thought of

earning money because earning my own

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income and being an independent woman in

my own right is important to me and

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enables me to contribute more to society.

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There's quite a few carrots there, quite a

few reasons for me to keep going when

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times are tough.

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If we put this in the context of your

private practice, I think it may be

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helpful to ask yourself some questions

such as what is it you'd like to achieve

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and...

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What's your deeper motivation for that?

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You could perhaps journal around these

inquiries and or create a vision board of

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what you'd like to achieve.

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If you're seeking to survive a quiet time

in your private practice, digging deep

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into why you're doing it can really help

motivate you to continue.

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It's the carrot.

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It will give you that determination to do

the difficult things like pressing publish

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on a piece of marketing.

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greeting a room full of strangers at a

networking meeting or standing up to give

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a talk.

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There's many other ways to find the

motivation to continue and I'll perhaps

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cover those in a future episode.

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But for this episode, I'd like to focus on

another couple of important points before

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I finish.

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It's good to acknowledge your feelings if

you're struggling at the moment.

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It's understandable to feel disappointed,

discouraged or frustrated.

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because running a private practice can be

challenging.

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However, you're going to be paralysed into

inaction if you listen to the inner critic

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who'd like to tell you that you're

rubbish, that everyone else is able to do

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it but you can't, or that you'll never be

able to make it work.

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Let's see if you can change the narrative.

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As well as reminding yourself of how far

you've come, it can also be helpful to

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reframe the current situation.

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Remind yourself that it takes time and

effort to build your practice.

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But ultimately, it's a skill that you can

learn, just like you learned the skill of

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counselling.

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Finding it hard to grow your practice

doesn't define your worth as a therapist

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or indeed as a person.

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You're not alone in this.

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Believe me, if you check out any of the

Facebook groups for private practice, you

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will find other people encountering

difficulties too.

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So if you're experiencing...

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a setback.

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Don't make it personal.

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It's not that you don't have the

intelligence or the business acumen.

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You're still learning.

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See it as a puzzle you'd like to solve.

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Ask yourself what needs to change?

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How can you refine your approach to reach

the clients you work well with?

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But if you're feeling very stressed,

that's also an indication that you need

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more support.

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How can you support yourself?

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What works for you to help you feel more

relaxed?

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How can you prioritise your wellbeing and

recharge?

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One of the ways that my resilience has

helped me during my life is to reach out

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and ask for support.

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That's why I'm so keen to foster

communities.

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I truly believe you're never alone in what

you feel.

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You're human and it is very likely that

there's another human being out there who

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feels what you feel.

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For example, when I had small children, I

connected with other people who were

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willing to acknowledge that feeling of

being at a complete loss of knowing what

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to do with their kids.

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It was a great source of comfort for me at

3am to know that one of my friends was

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probably awake too and we'd be able to

share notes and commiserate with each

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other in the morning.

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Human contact is so important for

resilience.

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and that's why I facilitate spaces where

counsellors can connect.

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And much of what I do in Therapy Growth

Group is about giving therapists the

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chance to express their doubts and fears

and to be supported and reassured that

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they're not alone in their feelings.

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I believe it really helps to know how

common it is to experience feelings such

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as imposter syndrome or fear of being

visible.

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Because when you know it is not just you,

it is part of the process.

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It gives you the courage to continue and

it gives you the courage to reach out to

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clients with your marketing.

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And the more you reach out, the more

likely it is that you'll attract clients

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and build the private practice that will

both fulfil you and make a difference to

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the lives of the people who see you.

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Thanks for listening.

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Do come and join my Facebook community,

Good Enough Councillors.

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And for more information about how I can

help you develop your private practice,

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please visit my website, JosephineHughes

.com.

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If you found this episode helpful, I'd

love it if you could share it with a

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fellow therapist or leave a review on your

podcast app.

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And in closing, I'd love to remind you

that every single step you make gets you

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closer to your dream.

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I really believe you can do it.