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6: Everything You Need To Know About Prayer
Episode 623rd April 2024 • Ever Be • Mari Wagner
00:00:00 00:50:27

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This episode dives into the transformative power of prayer as the lifeline to one's relationship with Jesus, and practical steps to integrate prayer into daily life. It explores various prayer methods such as contemplative prayer and Ignatian meditation, highlighting the importance of sincerity and consistency in prayer. Practical tips are provided for building a daily prayer life, emphasizing the need to prioritize time with God, establish a routine, and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit. By addressing challenges like distractions and sins, this episode offers encouragement and advice to strengthening one's faith through prayer.

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Transcripts

Speaker:

Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

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podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

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I know there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen

in for insightful real life

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conversations and actionable steps

on how to claim the Full life.

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God created you for if you're a

woman desiring to live a Christ

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centered life in today's modern

world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to the ever be podcast.

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mari-wagner_2_04-23-2024_183235:

Hey, hey, everybody.

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Welcome back.

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I hope your Wednesday is going great, or

maybe you're listening to this first thing

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in the morning, and I hope that you have

an amazing day today, it's the middle of

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the week, you're almost at the weekend,

and I hope that this makes your week a

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little bit sweeter, a little bit better.

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We are going to talk about prayer today.

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This is one of my favorite

topics to talk about.

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It is going to be such

a jam packed episode.

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I have so many resources

to share with you.

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I literally have My stack

of books right here.

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I've got the catechism

of the Catholic church.

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I have the Holy Bible, obviously.

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And then I have my notes from my mass

journal from a homily that the priest

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literally gave this past weekend on

prayer that I was like, wow, this is so

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Holy Spirit led, um, that the priest is

talking about this because I was already

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planning on this episode to be on prayer.

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Um, so that's great.

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We're really going to get into it.

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And I hope that you learn so much from it.

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I think this is a really

important conversation to have.

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I think there's a lot of

misconceptions around prayer.

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I think there's a lot of questions

in general around prayer.

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Like what is prayer?

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Why is it important?

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How do I do it?

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all those kinds of things.

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We're going to get into all

that today, but the baseline.

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Like truth that I want us to work off

of today that I want you to know in

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your heart and walk away like living,

breathing, knowing is that prayer is the

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lifeline to your relationship with Jesus.

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Let me say that again.

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Prayer is the lifeline to

your relationship with Jesus.

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I didn't know this for a long time.

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And so when I used to hear, Oh,

I have a relationship with Jesus.

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Or when I used to get asked, do

you have a relationship with Jesus?

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I would think, well, yeah, of course.

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I mean, it's.

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Like I, I love him.

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I, I quote unquote know him, although I

didn't really know the person of Jesus.

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I just knew who he was

kind of like as a figure.

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, and I came to learn that prayer

is the form of communication.

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It's the, the route and the vehicle

that allows us to know God, to know

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who he is and therefore to have

a relationship with him, because

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relationship is a deep two sided thing.

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It's not just a one sided thing.

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I think for so long, I kind of had,

maybe had a one sided relationship

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with the Lord, which I don't

really even know what side it was.

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Maybe it was like him loving

me probably, and me not really

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like putting anything back.

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Um, but relationship

takes two, it's two sided.

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So today we're going to get into that.

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Why prayers are lifeline to Jesus.

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Why is what's going to help you build

your relationship with the Lord?

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, so come Holy spirit, please allow

these to be your words that are spoken.

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Not mine.

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And I pray that this, uh,

just touches your heart.

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So let's start off with

the basic question.

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What is prayer?

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Okay.

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That's where we need to start.

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Um, and first I want to ask

you, what do you think of

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when you hear the word prayer?

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Take a second to think about that.

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I just want you to think kind of

like first instinct, first thoughts.

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What do you think of when

you hear the word prayer?

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Because I know for the longest time

when I heard that I jumped to what

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I now know is called rote prayers.

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Um, the basically these

like beautiful, like.

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Pre written prayers that the church

has given us that have been passed

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down for generations and, you know,

through the whole tradition of the

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church, or given to us by Jesus

himself, like the, our father, right?

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That is a written prayer that we memorize

that we can just pray that we can take

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out of our little, like, you know,

pocket when we need it, a rote prayer

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that is like pre written for us, , words

that are given to us to pray to the

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father or to ask him or to praise him,

whatever it is, that is a rote prayer.

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Versus something like free form prayer.

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That's a different kind of prayer.

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But when I used to hear the word

prayer, I kind of always jumped

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to those prewritten prayers, those

rote prayers, the hail Mary, the our

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father glory be maybe the rosary.

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, but free form prayer is the Also

prayer and free form prayer.

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There's a lot of different

ways to describe it.

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We're going to get into it.

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But right now I just want to

call it like free form prayer.

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Cause I think it's the easiest way

to understand what that is when you

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compare it to kind of like a pre written

prayer or like a prayer that's been,

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you know, passed down in the tradition

of the church, like the rosary.

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Like I said, , free form prayer

is mental prayer from the heart.

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It's really what it sounds like.

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It's freedom in how you pray in what you

pray and how you communicate to the Lord.

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There is no right or wrong

way to speak to the Lord.

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And it's just a speaking from the heart.

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St.

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Therese of Lisieux, I know you love

her because who doesn't, right?

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There's a quote by her that

I love that says, for me,

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prayer is a surge of the heart.

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It is a simple look towards heaven.

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It is a cry of recognition and

love embracing both trial and joy.

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St.

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Therese bless you.

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And what I love most about this quote

is the beginning where it says, for

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me, prayer is a surge of the heart.

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And if we look in our

catechism, let me get that up.

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Um, the catechism of the Catholic

church is the big book of everything.

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It's the big book that breaks

down all of the teachings of the

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church, the traditions of the

church, why we do what we do.

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, so it's a great resource

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So we are going to open up to

the catechism, paragraph, , 2

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And I'm just going to read this.

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So the title says prayer as a covenant.

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Um, so this whole section of the

catechism is, is huge on prayer.

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So just highly recommend starting there in

general, but we're going to start at this,

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this paragraph prayer as a covenant.

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, it says, where does prayer come from?

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Whether prayer is expressed in words

or gestures, is the whole man who

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but in naming the source of prayer.

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Scripture speaks sometimes of the

soul or the spirit, but most often of

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the heart more than a thousand times.

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According to scripture, it

is the heart that praise.

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If our heart is far from God,

the words of prayer are in vain.

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So it is the heart that praise.

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And we see that in scripture and

it is said over a thousand times.

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And like this said, like sometimes the

soul is mentioned or the spirit, but

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in the end prayer is from the heart.

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Prayer is a conversation with God from

our heart So I just want to start with

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that first because I know that when

we hear the word prayer or you know

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Prayer routine or whatever it can sound

really intimidating It could sound like

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there's a right way or a wrong way to

do it And I'm glad that you're here

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and you are gonna learn a lot from this

episode There's definitely something to

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learn and to take away but I do I want

you to walk away knowing essentially,

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like I said, prayer is your lifeline to

your relationship with Jesus and prayer

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is nothing but a surge of your heart.

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It's nothing but a

conversation from the heart.

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I want you to walk away knowing

that prayer is your lifeline in

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your relationship with Jesus.

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And that prayer is nothing but a surge

of the heart, a movement of the heart,

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a conversation from your heart with God.

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Essentially, it's just a conversation

with our father in heaven, right?

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Our creator.

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And it's a vehicle, a gift that really,

that he's given us to be able to connect

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with him, to know him, to speak to him.

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And a lot of the times to hear him as

well, maybe not physically like audibly,

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but to hear him in our hearts and to hear

him speak to us and speak into our lives.

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And again, in the catechism, it literally

says prayer is the living relationship

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of the children of God with their father.

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Okay.

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We need to understand this to understand

something about prayer that we are

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children of the father, God the father.

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Is our father, our heavenly

father, and we are his children.

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So

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if you've never heard this before, you

know, let me be the first to tell you

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like, this is your truest identity.

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You are a son or daughter of God.

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It is said in scripture a million times.

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The Lord said it himself.

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Um, let's look at scripture really quick.

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So open your Bibles up to first John.

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, three verse one.

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Okay.

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It says, see what love the father

has bestowed upon us that we may

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be called the children of God.

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Yet.

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So we are.

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That was in this past Sunday's reading.

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, I believe it was the second

reading and I love, love that verse

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Because it doesn't just state that we are

children of God, but it also says that it

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comes from a love of the father, right?

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It says, see what love the father has for

us, the love that he's bestowed upon us.

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That we may be called

children, children of God yet.

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So we are, , and the priest in his homily

this past Sunday at mass brought this

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verse up in his homily about prayer and

asked this question, what impact does that

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fact, does that truth have on our life?

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Okay.

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So we are children of God.

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We are sons and daughters of God.

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What is the impact that

that truth has on our life?

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Why does that even matter

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And friends, it matters because

this is our deepest and truest

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identity without prayer.

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We cannot connect with he who created us.

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He who our identity is rooted in

our father in heaven without prayer.

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We are dead.

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We can't connect with the source

of our life because prayer, like

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I said, is our communion with God.

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In John 15, Jesus says, you can

do nothing apart from me, right?

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And so who are we to think that we can

do our life, that we can do everything

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he's called us to do apart from him.

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Sure.

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The Lord is with us.

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He never abandons us, but prayer is

this avenue that we can be in union with

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him and invite him in an intentional,

deep, intimate way into our life so

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that he can speak life, breathe life,

give us grace so that we can fulfill

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this life that he has called us to live.

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Okay, so I hope that we have

established some, some really good

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basic principles as to like why prayer

is important, and what prayer is?

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So let's talk a little bit about the

importance of a daily routine because

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it is beautiful to say prayers from the

heart, you know, when you feel prompted

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to do so, But I would say that it's

more important to build a consistent

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daily routine, even if you don't feel

like praying, or even if prayer isn't

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coming easy to you, it's more important

to build that daily routine and to

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make time for Jesus every single day

than to just pray when you feel like it.

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Because otherwise you can't really get to

know God and I always use this analogy.

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I call it the best friend analogy

Okay, so think of your best friend

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and think of how you got to the place

that you are in your relationship with

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them How did you get to know them?

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So well, how did you get so close?

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How did you get to trust them?

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You probably spent a lot

of time with them them.

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You probably shared some really

deep moments together or celebrated

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some big wins in your life or,, went

through difficult times whatever it

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was, you shared life with this person

and you shared enough life with this

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person that they became significant

to you and you developed a deep

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personal relationship with them.

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And like I said, this all happened

through time that was spent and things

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that were shared between you guys,

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things from your heart and

your life, , et cetera.

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And so just like you needed to spend a

lot of time with this person to develop

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a relationship, the same goes for Jesus.

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You need to put that same kind

of time and energy and commitment

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into your relationship with Jesus,

because he is a real person.

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You can't have a real like living

relationship with him, but without

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the time, without the commitment,

without, The time invested in him,

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you're not going to get there.

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And the reason I say this is because

I hear this a lot from women, , you

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know, who say like, Mari, I do pray.

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I do spend time in prayer.

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I listen to worship music when I'm driving

to work or, I say a little prayer on

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my way to class in the morning or, , my

prayer right now is doing the dishes.

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Like that's how I'm praying

and don't get me wrong.

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These are all good and beautiful things.

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And I hope that if you do this,

that you continue to do this.

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It is prayer, but it isn't

the true substance of prayer.

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That's going to really deepen and, and

develop your relationship with Jesus.

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Because if we go back to this best

friend analogy, if the only time that

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you spent with this friend was in the

car while you're playing music, on your

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way to work and all the time you spent

with them in the car was, you know,

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kind of trying to talk over the music

or talking between songs, you wouldn't

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really get a lot in there and your

relationship wouldn't really deepen.

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Right.

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Or if the only time you

spent with them was.

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Walking to class, and you might have

some of these friends, some of these

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friends that like, you're in class and

the only real connection that you have

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is, having this class together and

walking to and from this class together.

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, but you don't really go deep with

them in that time that's allotted

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walking from building to building.

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So if you look at that in your

relationship with Jesus, if the only

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time you spend with Jesus is in those

short increments of time where you're

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either distracted or multitasking,

you're doing something else, um, it's

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a beautiful way to, you know, bring

Jesus into your everyday life, but

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still he deserves all of your attention.

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He deserves undivided attention

and times to decide for you

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to know him and love him.

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And this kind of brings me to

the very first commandment.

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You shall have no other gods before me.

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Now that wording is particular

and just hearing that we might

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not think, , that we are outwardly

worshiping other gods, right?

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It says, you shall not have

any other gods before me.

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Essentially you shall not worship

anyone else, any other God or thing

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or being other than me, the Lord.

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And we might think that we don't have

other gods and that we don't worship

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other things except for God himself.

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In the way that we think, I will challenge

you to think about this and reflect

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about this in your life because there's

been moments in my life where I have

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realized, oh crap, I do have other idols.

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Oh shoot.

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I might actually find other things

more important, might, you know,

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underlyingly be worshiping other things

more than the Lord or over the Lord.

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And ultimately we can see that

when we look at what do we love?

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And usually what we love, is what

we spend time on, what we deem

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to be important in our lives.

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That's worthy of our time and attention.

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And if we only give our time to,

maybe work our careers, social

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media, friends, family, our kids, our

spouse, our schoolwork our home, our

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investments, whatever it is, um, those

all aren't inherently bad things.

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A lot of them are really good things, but

if we only give our time there, then where

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does God stand against all those things?

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Where does God stand in the

midst of those priorities?

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If the first thing we do when we get out

of bed is roll over and start scrolling,

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where does God stand next to Instagram?

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Or maybe we're drowning in work and it's

a busy season maybe you're traveling

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a lot, maybe you're have a list full

of to do's that you know that you

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need to get to all the time and that's

all you feel like you have time for.

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So where does God stand in

the midst of all those things?

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He has provided for us a job, a home, a

family, the means to travel, to be busy.

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The health to be able to do

these things with our bodies

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to not have any other gods Above

God is to love God above all

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things It's to place God as number

one on our list of priorities

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And to love God above all things to

make him the very first priority in

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our lives is to give him our first and

last moments of the day at the very

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least, at the very least you guys.

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Minimum, we should be giving him our

first and last moments of the day.

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When we first open our eyes, maybe

a quick, , prayer of gratitude.

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And before we close our eyes and go to

bed, a prayer of Thanksgiving, a praise

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of intercession for our lives or for the

people in our lives, at the very least,

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you know, and some of this might

be kind of a humility check for us.

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I know that it has been for me many times

before to kind of look at my life and

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realize like, wow, there are a lot of

other things in my life that I actually

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am placing above the Lord that are

actually taking priority above the Lord.

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And it may not sit right in my

heart when I say that you may

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feel like, no, but I do love God.

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And I get that.

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I bet you that you do.

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So many times I felt the same thing.

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And yet I say, but I don't

have time for him right now.

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I love him, but I don't have time.

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I love him, but this work is so important.

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I love him, but I have so many things

on my calendar that I have to get to.

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I can't, don't really have time for mass

or time for prayer or whatever it is.

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And so it takes a moment of humility

for us to recognize that first of all.

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And actually, if we go back to

the catechism, it says humility

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is a foundation of prayer.

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We're opening up the catechism again.

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Okay.

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And we're going to paragraph

two, five, five, nine.

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It's called prayer as God's gift.

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And it says prayer is the raising of

one's mind and heart to God, or the

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requesting of good things from God.

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That's a really simple way to put prayer.

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But when we pray, do we speak from

the height of our pride and our

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will, or out of the depths of a

humble and contrite heart, he who

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humbles himself will be exalted.

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Humility is the foundation of prayer.

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Only when we humbly acknowledge

that we do not know how to pray

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as we ought, are we ready to

receive freely the gift of prayer.

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Man is a beggar before God.

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Wow.

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That is so good.

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Humility is the foundation of prayer.

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That just brings me back to

John at 15, five apart from me.

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You can do nothing.

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Think believe the lie that the evil

one tells us all the time that we don't

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need God, especially in our world today.

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We're so obsessed with.

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productivity and success and making

it and whatever it is that we're

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doing, that we feel like we can do

everything ourselves, that all of

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our success, all of our goodness, all

of our good fortune comes from us.

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And this is just a reminder.

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Man is a beggar before God.

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Humility is a foundation of prayer.

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We need Lord.

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We can't do anything apart from the Lord.

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And prayer is this vehicle for us to

beg him to, to give us his grace, his

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mercy, his blessings upon our life.

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And so when we approach prayer, we want

to come to him with a humble heart,

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with a contrite heart, and an open

heart to receive whatever he has for us.

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Okay, so I hope that establishes,

, again, a little bit of context

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as to why a prayer is important.

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, why taking the time to speak to

him daily is important to allow

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silence and space for him to be

a character in our lives, right?

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To allow him to have authority and say

in our lives, or to just comfort us and

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bring us love and peace and understanding.

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And to just be with him, to be

with our father, to be with our

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creator, whom is love himself, to

experience love and peace himself.

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He wants all of it.

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You guys, he wants to be

with you in all of it.

366

:

And so before we get into the

practicals of how to pray, I want

367

:

to say this, I want to say that

you don't have to come to the Lord.

368

:

, in a polished way, you don't have

to have the most beautiful, most

369

:

perfect words to say when you come

to him in prayer, you just have to

370

:

be yourself and it can be messy.

371

:

It can be raw.

372

:

It can be confusing.

373

:

You can be honest.

374

:

He wants all of you.

375

:

He wants to be so intimately invested

in your life as your father, because

376

:

you are his child and he loves you and

that's it because he loves you because

377

:

he loves you because he loves you.

378

:

That's the only reason he wants to

be so intimately a part of your life.

379

:

The reason he leaves the 99

for the one for you, right?

380

:

It's just because he loves you.

381

:

So how do we pray?

382

:

How do we receive this love from God?

383

:

How do we give him our love?

384

:

It's important to recognize that

prayer in itself is a response to God.

385

:

Okay.

386

:

So like we just said, The Lord wants

to be a part of your life and it is

387

:

he who initiates the conversation.

388

:

Now, this doesn't mean that you have to

wait to hear God's voice to begin to pray.

389

:

No, him by his very being, love itself.

390

:

And through that love

created you, he loves you.

391

:

And he is always reaching for you

and taking that step towards you.

392

:

inviting you and asking

you to draw near to him.

393

:

I can't seem to put this catechism down.

394

:

Okay.

395

:

So I'm going to read one

more paragraph from here.

396

:

That is so, so, so good.

397

:

Paragraph two, five, six, seven.

398

:

God calls man first man may forget his

creator or hide far from his face.

399

:

He may run after idols or accuse

the deity of having abandoned

400

:

him Yet, the living and true God

tirelessly calls each person to that

401

:

mysterious encounter known as prayer.

402

:

In prayer, the faithful God's

initiative of love always comes first.

403

:

Our own first step is always a response.

404

:

Okay?

405

:

So prayer is a response to his initial

step towards us, his initial love for us.

406

:

As God gradually reveals himself

and reveals man to himself.

407

:

Prayer appears as a reciprocal call, a

covenant drama through words and actions.

408

:

This drama engages the heart.

409

:

It unfolds throughout the

whole history of salvation.

410

:

Mm.

411

:

There's so much to unpack here.

412

:

So much to unpack here.

413

:

Okay.

414

:

What can we take from this?

415

:

God calls man first.

416

:

. Again, we just talked about this, but I

think it's so important to remember this.

417

:

You are not abandoned by the Lord.

418

:

If you feel like you are alone,

if you feel like the Lord has

419

:

never reached out to you, doesn't

love you, doesn't know you.

420

:

I'm here to tell you that that's not true.

421

:

He knows you.

422

:

He knows every fiber of your being.

423

:

We see this in the good shepherd, right?

424

:

He leaves the 99 to go after

the one God calls man first.

425

:

He goes after you.

426

:

He calls you to him and waits and

invites you to respond because he

427

:

desires a personal relationship with us.

428

:

He's not a distant figure that

doesn't want anything to do with you.

429

:

He wants to meet you in a personal

and intimate way and walk with

430

:

you intimately in your life.

431

:

And so through prayer.

432

:

God reveals himself.

433

:

We saw that in this last paragraph,

God reveals himself through prayer and

434

:

this living relationship with God, we

can learn about him, about who he is

435

:

and who he wants to be in our lives.

436

:

And furthermore, God reveals

man to himself through prayer.

437

:

God being our creator and knowing us

more than we know ourselves, knowing our

438

:

humanity more than we know it ourselves.

439

:

He reveals our own selves to us.

440

:

He reveals to us who we truly

are, who we are made in his image

441

:

and what our truest identity is.

442

:

And you guys, we can find all

of those answers through prayer.

443

:

This is the craziest thing.

444

:

Like prayer isn't just this like

boring thing that you just like repeat

445

:

out of a book and you know, be done.

446

:

It's this living, breathing relationship.

447

:

Okay.

448

:

Okay.

449

:

Now we're really, really, really

going to get into how to pray.

450

:

I want to talk about the

different types of prayer.

451

:

Because there's a lot of them.

452

:

Like I said, there's no

right or wrong way to pray.

453

:

There's a lot of types of prayer.

454

:

And I love the church, the Catholic

church, especially because she gives us

455

:

so many different options and teaches

us so many different avenues to pray.

456

:

And it's great because

we're all different people.

457

:

We all have different personalities,

different temperaments, different ways

458

:

that we can each connect with God.

459

:

And so you're not limited to just one.

460

:

Okay.

461

:

There's contemplative prayer, Ignatian

prayer, scripture study, lexio divina,

462

:

prayer journaling, meditative prayer,

like all these different types of prayers.

463

:

So we're going to get into contemplative

prayer first because I think this one can

464

:

kind of carry us through the other ones.

465

:

And if you've never prayed anything,

but like a Hail Mary or Our Father,

466

:

this is definitely the place to start.

467

:

So St.

468

:

Teresa of Avila, she is a

doctor of prayer in the church.

469

:

And she says that contemplative

prayer is nothing but a close

470

:

sharing between friends.

471

:

It means taking time frequently

to be alone with him who loves us.

472

:

I also call this mental prayer.

473

:

You hear this a lot, you know,

contemplative prayer, mental prayer.

474

:

I think it's like kind

of used interchangeably.

475

:

But really it's nothing else than

just sharing what's on your heart,

476

:

you know, plainly, simply in your

own words, what is on your heart?

477

:

What are you feeling?

478

:

What are you asking of the Lord?

479

:

And the important thing is not to think

much about it, not to overthink how

480

:

you're saying things or what you're

saying, but just to do it out of love

481

:

and just to offer it all to the Lord.

482

:

I was listening to Sadie

Robertson's podcast the other day.

483

:

And the guest that she was interviewing

was talking about how somebody

484

:

said something about prayer to her

in college that stuck with her.

485

:

And I think that it's really good advice.

486

:

She was told that, Good prayer

is like unfiltered prayer.

487

:

Like you don't have a prayer voice.

488

:

You don't have like a, nice

polished way of coming to the Lord.

489

:

It's just using your real voice, your

real thoughts, your real feelings

490

:

in an unfiltered way, obviously with

respect, but like just coming to the

491

:

Lord as you are not worrying about

how you're wording things, but just

492

:

saying it and just coming to the Lord

as you are, as honestly as you can.

493

:

And so contemplative prayer or mental

prayer, can be you sitting down, in

494

:

a chair, in a pew, and just sitting

there looking at the Lord and being

495

:

like, Hey Lord, It's me, you know,

um, I don't really know you very well,

496

:

uh, but I'd like to, or maybe you're

like, Hey Lord, um, it's been a long

497

:

time, you know, but I'm finally here

and, and this is what's on my heart

498

:

and this is what I'm struggling with.

499

:

And can you help me, can you show

me the way, you know, that that's

500

:

just an example of what you can say.

501

:

It doesn't have to be fancy or anything.

502

:

Contemplative prayer can also be silent in

a way, like you don't have to use words.

503

:

It can be as simple as.

504

:

allowing your gaze to be fixed

on Jesus, to contemplate his love

505

:

for you his mercy, his face, his

heart, whatever you're drawn to.

506

:

It's time spent in silence, allowing

the Lord to clear your mind of

507

:

distractions and open your heart to him.

508

:

Okay.

509

:

So now we're going to get

into Ignatian meditation.

510

:

It is one of my favorite types of prayer.

511

:

Essentially it's a, is

purely imaginative prayer.

512

:

Where you visualize your

prayer instead of speaking it.

513

:

The style of prayer was taught by St.

514

:

Ignatius, St.

515

:

Ignatius of Loyola, and he uses

it in his spiritual exercises.

516

:

Basically you can create a

scene out of nothing, right?

517

:

Just using your imagination,

painting a picture of, maybe it's

518

:

from scripture or maybe it's just

your own scene that you paint.

519

:

In time of prayer with the Lord.

520

:

There's really no right

or wrong way again.

521

:

It's all led by the Holy Spirit.

522

:

You just ask the Holy Spirit, come

Holy Spirit, enter into this prayer.

523

:

Help me to see what the Lord

wants me to see right now.

524

:

And the reason I love this prayer

so much is because in my experience,

525

:

it has brought the person of

Jesus to life in a whole new way

526

:

in my life and in my prayer life.

527

:

Because I can engage my imagination,

along with the truth of what I know of

528

:

who he is and what he says about me to

imagine what he's speaking to me, what he

529

:

would say to me in a time in a time of

suffering or a time of need, how he would

530

:

bring me comfort, , how he would bring me

peace where it allows me to bring a scene

531

:

of the Bible to life, to be engaged with

it more and learn more about what Jesus

532

:

was trying to communicate through it.

533

:

You know, scripture is a really,

really beautiful tool that we can use.

534

:

And so now I want to get into

Lectio Divina, which is essentially,

535

:

you know, scripture study.

536

:

I think a lot of the times we don't know

we're praying Lectio when we're reading

537

:

scripture, but it's, it's just a fancy

way of saying reflecting on scripture.

538

:

Lectio Divina essentially is when you

read a piece of scripture multiple times,

539

:

you allow the Lord to show you what

he wants to speak to you through it.

540

:

Maybe you have a verse or a word that's

really standing out to you from that

541

:

passage that you're praying with.

542

:

You meditate on it.

543

:

You let it simmer.

544

:

You ask the Lord, what

does this mean in my life?

545

:

How can I apply this to my life?

546

:

, maybe you use a little bit of

Ignatian and you imagine the

547

:

scene that you're praying with.

548

:

It's all based off of scripture, but

basically it's just diving into scripture

549

:

into really a reflective way and applying

it seeing how the Lord is speaking

550

:

to us and applying it to our lives.

551

:

And I would say if you have a hard

time with either like mental prayer,

552

:

contemplative prayer, or imaginative

prayer, , this is a really good place

553

:

to start because it's a little bit more

structured because you're using a passage

554

:

from the Bible to really dive into it

and have it be kind of like a platform

555

:

that kind of kickstarts your prayer.

556

:

And I think another thing that helps if

you feel a little bit like this is really

557

:

new to me, I'm kind of uncomfortable,

I don't really know what to do in my

558

:

prayer, or like I'm trying, but I don't

know what to say, is prayer journaling.

559

:

Journaling your prayer is something

that we can all do because at

560

:

one point or another, we all

have journaled before, okay?

561

:

Whether it was an assignment in school,

we've all like, written accounts

562

:

of our life and know how to process

or kind of know where to start with

563

:

writing down like how we're doing

or what's going on in our life.

564

:

So prayer journaling is a great way, how

I like to say it, , to kind of like loosen

565

:

your tongue and learn this new language

of prayer and help open the door to the

566

:

freedom that you can have in prayer.

567

:

And to show you that,

like, you don't have to.

568

:

Be a specific person or say

things in a specific way.

569

:

You can just journal your prayer as

you would journal any journal entry,

570

:

but just dedicate it to the Lord

and speak to the Lord through it.

571

:

You know, dear Jesus,

here's how my heart is.

572

:

Here's where I'm at.

573

:

This is what happened today.

574

:

What do you think about this?

575

:

What are you asking me to

do in this place in my life?

576

:

You know, things like that.

577

:

And the more that you do that, the more

you'll be comfortable with With speaking

578

:

to the Lord and the more casual your words

will be and the more real and more honest

579

:

your conversations can be with the Lord.

580

:

Another resource you can use if you are

looking for a more guided prayer guide,

581

:

would be a Bible study that I wrote.

582

:

It's called the heart of Christ and

it's basically a short Bible study

583

:

to help, you know, the compassionate,

merciful, all loving heart of Christ.

584

:

You can find it at westcoastcatholic.

585

:

co.

586

:

, and essentially I created it to help

you come to know the compassionate,

587

:

merciful, all loving heart of Jesus.

588

:

And it walks you through accounts of St.

589

:

Margaret Mary Aliquo as well as

scripture passages and personal

590

:

reflections that I've written.

591

:

Um, I hope basically is that you'll come

to see that Jesus's heart yearns for you,

592

:

loves you and is always reaching for you.

593

:

Okay.

594

:

That was a lot.

595

:

That was a lot of different ways to pray.

596

:

I hope that that was helpful

and know that you can do this

597

:

in your home or in a church.

598

:

I highly, highly recommend that

you go to Eucharistic adoration.

599

:

This is a gift in our Catholic

church and our Catholic faith.

600

:

Eucharistic adoration is

basically the exposition of

601

:

Jesus and the blessed sacrament

602

:

and the host.

603

:

So like the communion that we

receive at mass, it is exposed

604

:

in what's called a monstrance.

605

:

And you can go and spend

time with him in the chapel.

606

:

In front of him in prayer, as

Catholics, you believe that the

607

:

Eucharist is the true body and blood

of Christ, the true presence of Christ.

608

:

And so to have the true presence of

Christ exposed at your church or in the

609

:

chapel, and to have the gift to be able

to go and just spend time in front of

610

:

him and pray with him and be with him and

gaze at him and give him your life and

611

:

everything is so, so, so transformational.

612

:

So let's now move into what I think

is one of our biggest obstacles to

613

:

prayer, something that I hear all the

time that I experience all the time.

614

:

and it's basically how to make time

for prayer in the midst of a busy life.

615

:

How do I build a daily routine in

the midst of a crazy, busy life?

616

:

The reality is we're all busy.

617

:

You guys, I know that you think

you're the busiest person.

618

:

I think I'm the busiest

person, but we're not.

619

:

There is always, always way

to incorporate prayer into our

620

:

lives and to make time for God.

621

:

As St.

622

:

Mother Teresa once said, she said, if you

are too busy to pray, you are too busy.

623

:

Period.

624

:

I remember hearing this story about

her and the missionaries of charity

625

:

and how the missionaries of charity.

626

:

All with good intention, right?

627

:

These are really holy, beautiful

sisters would go to mother Teresa

628

:

and tell her mother, there's

so much need in our community.

629

:

We need to maybe shorten our prayer

time so that we can go out and help

630

:

more and to serve the poor more.

631

:

And mother Teresa said, Oh, Okay.

632

:

If you feel this way, it seems like we

need to add a second holy hour to our day.

633

:

And so she added not just one, but now

had two hours dedicated to praying in

634

:

front of Jesus in the Eucharist to the

missionaries of charities schedule.

635

:

Because in the end, prayer

is what's most important.

636

:

Prayers are lifeline to Jesus.

637

:

And if we like we are too busy to

pray, then we are just too busy period.

638

:

and there's priorities in our

life that need to be rearranged.

639

:

Like I said earlier, the priest that

gave the homily at mass this past

640

:

Sunday was talking about prayer.

641

:

And one of the things he said

that stuck with me is we have to

642

:

stop thinking about ourselves as

CEOs of fortune 500 companies.

643

:

Okay.

644

:

And even if you are a CEO of a fortune 500

company, it's not like this advice doesn't

645

:

apply to you because the Lord is still the

Lord and you are still his son or daughter

646

:

and prayer is still just as powerful

in your life as it is to anybody else.

647

:

But basically what he was trying to say

is that you think that you don't have

648

:

time, but you do, and you at least have

the time for the things that you like

649

:

and the things that you find important.

650

:

And so the question really is,

What am I dedicating time to?

651

:

And do I dedicate the

time to prayer or not?

652

:

Do I make that a priority?

653

:

And if you just look at your schedule

and just look at your life and you

654

:

look at what are the things that

I spend the most time on, that'll

655

:

reveal to you, what do you love?

656

:

What do you worship?

657

:

What do you find important?

658

:

And if God isn't on the top

priority of that list, you guys.

659

:

Or on that list at all, then like

mother Teresa said, you are too busy

660

:

and things need to be rearranged.

661

:

Something needs to change.

662

:

And I just want to say, I'm

talking to myself here too.

663

:

I have gone through so many seasons of

life where I have had a humility check,

664

:

a reality check where I feel like I

need to look at my life and rearrange

665

:

my priorities and realize that like

I am putting things above the Lord.

666

:

And.

667

:

I want to say that I love the Lord above

all things, but if I'm never making time

668

:

for him, then that statement is empty.

669

:

And so know that I'm talking

to myself here as well.

670

:

And this applies really to all of us.

671

:

So check yourself, but also give yourself

grace to start again, to start small

672

:

because we all need to start somewhere.

673

:

And maybe you were in a place

where you had a really good prayer

674

:

life and you're coming back.

675

:

Give yourself grace, you know, and,

and start small and build that back up.

676

:

My most practical.

677

:

tips that I have for you.

678

:

The most practical advice that I

have to build a successful daily

679

:

prayer life is number one to do

it first thing in the morning.

680

:

Start your day with prayer.

681

:

I know for myself, I also feel like I'm

super busy and I know that if I don't

682

:

pray first thing in the morning, then

I'm probably not going to pray at all.

683

:

Even if I tell myself like, Oh, I'll just

go to the chapel later or, Oh, I'll pray

684

:

before bed or, you know, I'll take time,

you know, maybe in the middle of the day

685

:

to, to rest and pray and be with the Lord.

686

:

It just.

687

:

It just doesn't happen.

688

:

The day goes by so quick.

689

:

And if I don't pray first thing in

the morning, I don't pray at all.

690

:

And really for my morning prayer

time to be successful, I have had to

691

:

create kind of like a, like a prayer

corner in my room or kind of like a

692

:

ritual, kind of like a routine that

kind of tells my body, my mind, my

693

:

soul, like, okay, we are settling in.

694

:

We are being with the Lord, you

know, create a environment and a

695

:

spirit of silence to be able to

allow the into that moment of prayer.

696

:

So you can do this by, you know, maybe

lighting a prayer candle at home, putting

697

:

up a crucifix, or, um, I like to do

like a little gallery wall of different,

698

:

Catholic images or saints, or, you know,

statues of Mary or images of Jesus,

699

:

um, different prayers, stuff like that,

that will inspire my prayer and guide my

700

:

prayer and kind of direct my attention

towards the Lord and towards heaven.

701

:

Now you can pray at home or

you can pray in a church.

702

:

And if you feel like praying at home is

really hard for you, like it's really

703

:

distracting or maybe you have roommates

or maybe you don't really have a space

704

:

that you could create a quiet prayer

corner, then I really, really recommend

705

:

that you go to the church or a chapel.

706

:

Most Catholic churches should be open.

707

:

Almost all day.

708

:

A lot of them do offer

Eucharistic adoration.

709

:

Check with your parish and see

what schedule you have and see if,

710

:

adoration is offered at any time.

711

:

, and I highly recommend that you go there

712

:

because church is the house of God.

713

:

Church is a space of prayer already

in itself . a place of worship.

714

:

So it allows us to physically

put in ourselves in a space

715

:

that's going to direct our mind,

our heart and our soul to God.

716

:

My last piece of advice is to habit stack.

717

:

This is something that I did

to kind of get into a routine

718

:

of praying the rosary daily.

719

:

If that's a prayer that you want

to incorporate into your life.

720

:

And basically as you pick a habit or

a routine that you already have in

721

:

your life daily that you do pretty

much every day, or as often as you

722

:

want to introduce this new habit,

and then you stack this new habit.

723

:

onto that habit.

724

:

So you piggyback it on so that

whenever you do the habit that you

725

:

normally do, you're now adding the

new habit and it becomes a new habit.

726

:

Essentially.

727

:

Part of your routine.

728

:

So an example of this is I wanted

to pray the rosary every day.

729

:

And so when I was missionary, I would

drive to work and my drive to work

730

:

would be about 15 to 16 minutes a day.

731

:

And that was something that

I was doing every single day.

732

:

And so I got into the habit of getting

in my car and And putting the rosary on,

733

:

I use the hallow app to pray the rosary.

734

:

They have different times, like

links that you can pray the rosary.

735

:

And so I would set like, I think

like the 16 minute one or something,

736

:

and then I would pray the rosary

while I drove to work every day.

737

:

And that just became a daily habit.

738

:

You can do this with other things.

739

:

You can do this while you're getting

ready in the morning, doing your makeup

740

:

or while you're making breakfast or,

maybe if you already have a cup of

741

:

coffee in the morning, you can stack

that with some scripture reading

742

:

things that you already do in your day.

743

:

You can just add a new prayer

habit that you want to incorporate

744

:

into your life on top of that.

745

:

Woo.

746

:

Okay.

747

:

This is so good.

748

:

You guys, we are really getting into it.

749

:

I also just feel like

we could go on and on.

750

:

I know that this is going to be a

little bit of a lengthy podcast,

751

:

but it's going to be a good one.

752

:

And at this point I feel like

we need to start splitting

753

:

it into different sections.

754

:

I feel like we've covered

a lot of really good stuff,

755

:

but there's always more that

we could go into, right?

756

:

So before we close out, I do want

to address some questions that

757

:

came in on Instagram just a few

days ago when I asked you, what are

758

:

your biggest struggles in prayer?

759

:

Or what are your biggest

questions about prayer?

760

:

So I want to answer these questions right

here, right now on the show, because

761

:

these are the real questions and struggles

that you feel like you have right now.

762

:

So I'm going to pull them up.

763

:

And if you want to put your input

in on future episodes, input future

764

:

questions, make sure that you're following

along on the Instagrams at ever be

765

:

podcast or at Mari dot C dot Wagner.

766

:

This is where I'm going to be asking

for feedback and you are able to input

767

:

and tell me what you want to hear or

your questions that I'll be addressing

768

:

on the podcast here and there.

769

:

Okay.

770

:

Question one, how to pray

politely as to not offend God,

771

:

rambling thoughts everywhere.

772

:

I get distracted easily.

773

:

This is a good one.

774

:

I think this is something

that a lot of people fear.

775

:

And we did touch on it a little bit

earlier in the episode of the way

776

:

that you word things or what you're

saying, or this fear of like not coming

777

:

off in a polished way to the Lord is

something that a lot of us struggle with.

778

:

So pretty much, Don't worry

about not praying politely, or

779

:

not saying things the right way.

780

:

Obviously give the Lord the due

respect that he deserves, but

781

:

don't worry about being perfect.

782

:

Um, don't worry about not being able to

even be mad at the Lord or be angry or

783

:

bring him your, your anger and your hurt.

784

:

You know, there's times when, you

know, I go to the Lord and I, and I

785

:

bring him all ugly stuff and that's

okay because the Lord isn't just.

786

:

there for you in good.

787

:

He's there for you in

the thick of all of it.

788

:

So you don't have to worry about

being perfect in front of the Lord.

789

:

rambling thoughts are okay.

790

:

If you get distracted easily, try and

take those thoughts that are distracting

791

:

you and write it down on a notebook.

792

:

You know, maybe while you're praying,

have a notebook next to you, write

793

:

it down, to get it out of your head.

794

:

A lot of the times our brain just needs

to get those thoughts out of our head,

795

:

write it down, set it aside and ask, the

Holy Spirit to come to help you focus.

796

:

, the evil one is going to try and distract

you in your prayer because His ultimate

797

:

goal is to pull you away from God.

798

:

And if prayer is the ultimate way

that we are in union with God, aside

799

:

from the mass and receiving him in

the Eucharist, he's going to do

800

:

that and he's going to distract you.

801

:

So try and beware of that.

802

:

Next question.

803

:

I don't have a consistent prayer

life anymore and in battling with

804

:

habitual sins, where do I start?

805

:

Thank you for your honesty

and your vulnerability.

806

:

I know that this is hard.

807

:

And what I would say to this

is you are always welcome back.

808

:

You know, welcome back.

809

:

I'm glad you're here.

810

:

I'm glad you're starting

over and you want to build

811

:

your prayer life back up again.

812

:

My number one recommendation, especially

if you feel like you're battling with

813

:

habitual sin is to go to confession.

814

:

The sacrament of reconciliation is truly

Jesus present, through the priest, right?

815

:

It's called in persona Christi where

he is absolving us of our sins, giving

816

:

us his mercy, giving us his love

and welcoming us back into his arms.

817

:

So go to confession and

then just start small.

818

:

It's okay if you took a break from

your prayer time, if you've been

819

:

gone from the church, you're always

welcome back and just have grace

820

:

with yourself and start small.

821

:

Start with 15 minutes a day in

the morning and maybe build up.

822

:

Maybe you then.

823

:

Do 20 minutes the next week and

then 30 minutes the next week.

824

:

This goes for everyone.

825

:

I would highly, highly recommend that you

have about 30 minutes of prayer a day.

826

:

And when you're just starting, start

with a few minutes and build up,

827

:

but if you can have 30 solid minutes

of prayer a day, That is gold.

828

:

That is the sweet spot.

829

:

If you can do one hour, I personally love

to do 30 to 60 minutes because I feel

830

:

like that's when I'm really, really able

to be in union with the Lord and to get

831

:

into everything that I want to get into.

832

:

Sometimes it takes me even like

15, 20 minutes just to focus.

833

:

so 30 to 60 minutes, but if

you can shoot for 30, do that.

834

:

Okay.

835

:

Next question.

836

:

How do you know what to pray?

837

:

When do you pray all kinds

of prayer every single day?

838

:

And then how do you keep a prayer

routine, but still spice up your

839

:

prayers with different methods?

840

:

So basically I think this person is

asking, like, how do you know which

841

:

type of prayer to pray when, and Do

you do things on certain days or how

842

:

do you make sure that your prayer

life is being, you know, switched up

843

:

and how do you change up your

different methods of prayer?

844

:

Um, ultimately it's up to you,

whatever works for you, whatever

845

:

you feel like is helping you focus

in prayer, connect with the Lord.

846

:

There is no right or wrong way to do it.

847

:

And so listen to those

movements of your heart.

848

:

Listen to where you find peace, to where

you find comfort, to where you feel

849

:

like you're connecting with the Lord.

850

:

And maybe in some seasons, prayer

journaling is going to be where it's at.

851

:

Maybe you just have so much on

your heart and you just have to

852

:

spill it all out to the Lord.

853

:

Maybe sometimes you

don't have a lot to say.

854

:

And so you go to scripture and you

do Lectio Divina because you use.

855

:

The word of God to guide your prayer.

856

:

Or maybe you, you bring in like

spiritual reading, a spiritual book,

857

:

to form your prayer and to learn

from the saints and to, bring their

858

:

teachings into your life and reflect

on what God is trying to tell you

859

:

about your life through those readings.

860

:

So really it's just a day to day

discernment or a season to season

861

:

discernment of what it is that is

helping you be in union with the Lord.

862

:

Um, but I wouldn't say that

there's one specific answer or

863

:

one specific way or day that you

should do a specific type of prayer.

864

:

If you want a little bit more

of a concrete answer, uh, this

865

:

is an example of like a prayer

timeline of what you could do.

866

:

If you were going to pray a holy hour

in Eucharistic adoration, you could do

867

:

the first 15 minutes of quieting your

heart, opening your hands and inviting

868

:

the Holy Spirit and just asking the

Lord to, rid your mind of distractions

869

:

and just use that time to focus on him.

870

:

And then the next, you know, 20

minutes could maybe be prayer

871

:

journaling or mental prayer where

you're just conversing with the Lord.

872

:

Telling him what's on your heart.

873

:

I'm asking for me, Mary's intercession or

a saint's intercession, and just telling

874

:

the Lord what's going on in your life.

875

:

Maybe the next 20 minutes can be a

scripture study or reading a spiritual

876

:

book to help kind of guide your prayer,

inform your heart and soul a little

877

:

bit more, and then the last 15 minutes.

878

:

I hope this is all adding up.

879

:

Right.

880

:

Can be prior journaling and you, you

know, recount what happened in your prayer

881

:

time, offer it all up to the Lord, or

maybe you end with a rosary, or maybe

882

:

you just end with 15 minutes of silence.

883

:

And maybe you just want to gaze at the

Lord and just be with him and, just

884

:

pray in the silence sometimes the

Lord speaks the loudest in the silence.

885

:

So I hope that helps.

886

:

Next question.

887

:

How to work through apathy towards prayer.

888

:

This is a big one.

889

:

Like I said at the beginning of the

podcast, you're not always going to feel

890

:

like you want to pray and that's okay.

891

:

And I think a lot of people say sometimes

like, well, if I don't feel like praying,

892

:

then it's not going to be good prayer.

893

:

So I should probably just pray when I

feel like it because that's a better

894

:

offering to the Lord than just praying.

895

:

For the sake of praying or because

I want to stick to a routine, you

896

:

know, um, and what I would say to

that is that if we only prayed when

897

:

we felt like praying, we probably

wouldn't be praying very much in those

898

:

moments when we do feel like praying,

that's actually a grace and a gift.

899

:

The Lord has given us to desire

him and to draw near to him.

900

:

So take advantage of those times

when you feel like praying.

901

:

Yes.

902

:

And when you don't feel like praying,

lean into it because it is that much more

903

:

of a gift to the Lord of the time and

effort that you're offering him in those

904

:

times when you don't really feel like it.

905

:

And you know what?

906

:

It's okay to ask the Lord

to give you that desire.

907

:

If you are working through apathy

towards prayer, it's okay to pray,

908

:

Lord, I don't really feel like praying.

909

:

I don't really desire prayer.

910

:

Help me to desire it.

911

:

Help me to want to be with you.

912

:

Help me to want to pray.

913

:

Pray that every day and I promise you

the Lord will fulfill that prayer.

914

:

Okay.

915

:

And the last question I'm going to

answer is does prayer actually work?

916

:

Oh my gosh.

917

:

I feel like this could be

a whole episode in itself.

918

:

Um, yes it does.

919

:

And I'm just going to cite

one scripture verse here.

920

:

There are so many verses in

scripture that we can pull

921

:

that reveals Jesus

teaching us about prayer.

922

:

And even that reveals Jesus

praying to the father but I just

923

:

want to go to one right now.

924

:

It's Luke chapter 11,

verse nine through 10.

925

:

Let me pull it up on my Bible

because I don't have it memorized.

926

:

Okay.

927

:

I am a Catholic, so that

shouldn't come as a surprise.

928

:

The passage is called

the answer to prayer.

929

:

And it's Jesus speaking and he says,

and I tell you, ask and you shall

930

:

receive, seek and you will find,

knock and the door will be open to

931

:

you for everyone who asks receives and

the one who seeks finds and the one

932

:

who knocks the door will be opened.

933

:

What father among you would hand his son

a snake when he asks for a fish or hand

934

:

him a scorpion when he asks for an egg.

935

:

If you then, who are wicked, know how

to give good gifts to your children, how

936

:

much more will the Father in heaven give

the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?

937

:

Jesus, right here in scripture, says,

Ask the Lord, pray to the Lord, tell

938

:

him your needs, and you shall receive.

939

:

So yes, prayer works, expressing

your needs to the Lord.

940

:

works.

941

:

He wants to provide for you.

942

:

He wants to bless you.

943

:

He wants to answer your prayers.

944

:

And it just takes you stepping

out in humility and boldness and

945

:

courage and saying, Lord, I'm here.

946

:

I love you.

947

:

I need you.

948

:

I don't know you.

949

:

You know, I want to know you,

whatever it is that you're feeling.

950

:

And the Lord will hear you.

951

:

All right.

952

:

So it's time that we wrap up this episode.

953

:

One thing I want to say before we go is

that my hope for you is that whenever

954

:

you hear this episode, anything on

the show or encounter any of my faith

955

:

based content on Instagram, my hope

for you is that you would get off the

956

:

app, that it would encourage you to go

seek the Lord and spend time with him.

957

:

like don't just absorb all this advice.

958

:

Although it's good.

959

:

I hope it was helpful to you.

960

:

Don't just absorb it and let it sit

there, but truly let it inspire you.

961

:

Let it transform you.

962

:

Let it motivate you to make

a change in your life and

963

:

actually implement this advice.

964

:

Start building a daily prayer

life and draw closer to Jesus.

965

:

When I started building

a daily prayer life.

966

:

It changed my whole view of God.

967

:

It changed my whole life.

968

:

It changed my whole outlook, and it

brought me so much more peace and joy

969

:

and allowed me to truly surrender my

entire life to God and to know that no

970

:

matter what happens in my life, it's okay

because the Lord's will will be done.

971

:

And the only way you can get to that

kind of peace in your life is by

972

:

giving him time every single day and

coming to know he who is love himself.

973

:

And if you still after hearing

this whole episode are like I feel

974

:

like I'm not capable of doing this.

975

:

I feel so unprepared.

976

:

So it feels so unnatural.

977

:

I'll leave you with one last thing.

978

:

Ask the Holy Spirit to bless

you, ask the Holy Spirit to come

979

:

and to teach you how to pray.

980

:

Friends.

981

:

Thank you for sticking with

me through this long episode.

982

:

Thank you for asking these questions

and allowing me to speak these

983

:

beautiful truths into your life.

984

:

I hope that this blessed you.

985

:

And if it did, please reach

out to me and let me know.

986

:

I can't wait to have more of these

conversations with you in my DMS.

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