Do you have a go-to phrase that is your personal mantra for maintaining sanity? In this episode, I will share the phrase that saves my sanity and helps me to stay on an even keel emotionally. This is the link to get your discount from Relief Factor. https://bit.ly/3f5iKMo

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Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, a fifty-something who enjoys sharing ideas about life, love, and a heaping of other topics. This is my one-year anniversary show of bringing you this podcast. I am humbled by the support of my listeners during this journey of growth and exploration. Tonight's topic is the eight-word phrase that saves my sanity on a daily basis. Stress is a guaranteed part of my life, and I encounter stress on a daily basis. Some of you might as well. I was venting one day to a good friend of mine Dr. Marilyn Sinckiweicz. Marilyn looked at me when I finally stopped yapping and paused. She casually said, it is what it is, til it isn't. I just looked at her and thanked her. During this casual conversation, I had been handed one of the most valuable tools to survive adulting. Even if I don't say these words out loud during times of struggle, it helps me to say them in my head. Let me share a few examples from my life, where this phrase saved the day.

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When I was ready to part ways with he who shall not be named, I told him to meet me at the car lot, where I had bought his vehicle. Yes, that's right. I was dumb enough to finance a car for someone who abused me. He parked the car,then he handed me the keys and turned his back on me without saying a word. I saw him get into the car with another woman and drive off. That was the last time I ever saw him. I didn't cry. I didn't curse him. I simply said, it is what it is, til it isn't. It was the most freeing experience ever! Four years later, he died of cancer. I was glad that no matter how evil he had treated me, I didn't have a guilty conscience about my behavior regarding the last time we saw each other in person.

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One time, my cousin's ex-wife came to me and said she desperately needed money for her and the kids. She claimed my cousin was behind on child support. I felt bad for her because I was a widow and a single mom myself. I explained to her, I could loan it to her only under the condition, she would pay me back within two weeks, because I had some bills, I would need to pay back then. Well, as the old saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. Right? I called her a few days before I needed the money back, and she will not answer me. I went by her house and she will not come to the door. I didn't cry. I didn't curse her. I just said it is what it is til isn't. As luck would have it, I bumped into my cousin and I talked to him about what happened. He explained to me his ex-wife had a habit of borrowing money and not paying it back. He was just shocked that she was fleecing his relatives now that she had burned all of hers. Then, my cousin told me something that stunned me. He said instead of bringing her money, he was going to pay me back the money. I was incredibly grateful but ended up morphing into being the bad person. His wife dirty macked my name with family members, even though I had helped her.

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So the next instance, gosh, I hate saying so y'all ever forgive me, I'm really trying to get rid of their word. I dated a man for six years. I honestly thought I was going to marry him. It was a long-distance relationship, and he would see me two to three times a month. We could not be together on Valentine's Day of 2017, because a Tuesday and we both had to work the next day. Instead, we just ended up spending time with each other by video chat, which we did for hours. Then he ghosted to me for the next three days. No phone calls, texts,s or anything. I was worried that something happened to him because he had a relatively dangerous job as an electrician. Out of the blue, on the fourth day, he texted me as if nothing had ever happened. I didn't cry, I didn't curse him. I simply said it is what it is til it isn't. I told him I was going to free him up to enjoy this future with whomever he had spent the past three days with. No matter how long he had treated me, I was responsible for my behavior in that instant. His infidelity is not even the saddest part of the story. I found out by way of the news about a year later, that he ended up killing the woman he was seeing because she was cheating on him. He is in prison right now, today, I could not believe he would do something like this, but I also never believed he would have cheated on me the way he did. He wrote me a letter detailing how he wished he had never treated me, the way he did. His relationship with the quote-unquote other woman was the springboard to changing his life forever. I threw the letter in the trash. And you know why? Because it is what it is til it isn't.

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Thanks for listening this evening. And as always, I wish you good health, good fortune, And good night, Cocoa Griot, out.