Do you want to set your home, family, schedule, and sanity up for success? Toni Ann has the way! This is a great talk about what we can do to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare for a productive and fun week ahead by doing a little now that saves you so much later! 

About the Guest:

Toni-Ann Mayembe

Podcaster

toni-ann@realhappymom.com

www.realhappymom.com

www.realhappymom.com/podcast

https://www.instagram.com/realhappymom.com

Toni-Ann is a full-time dentist, a reservist in the Navy, and the blogger and podcaster at Real Happy Mom. She is a wife and a boy mom that understands the struggle of juggling work and home. When she is not working, she enjoys watching WWE and watching stand-up comedy.

About the Host:

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor. 

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live. 

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, sets their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.

(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior and Psychology. ) 

LINKS:

Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault

Website- https://www.nellieharden.com

Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/   

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground for parents who want to raise their kids with intention, strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into the real challenges and raising kids today how to show up as parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the family and individuals of the world. My name is Nellie Harden, big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline and leadership that elevate the family experience, and sets the kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570 family project. Let's go Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570 family project podcast where we are putting aside the power struggles and finding a path to lead our young women toward confidence, wisdom and respect in order to prepare them for the world out there. And one of the best things that we can do is show them systems and tactics and ways in order to set them up for that success. And I have a gift for you today. We have a special guest on here today, Toni-Ann Mayembe. And we are going to talk about time confidence versus lack the importance of routines and what you can do every single week yourself and also teach your kid in order to set yourself up for success both emotionally and mentally. And definitely physically because we both know that if you prepare now, just like with all the food prep and everything that you can do on Sundays, right a little bit now goes a really long way later. And she is going to share with us her very special five ways that you are five things that you can do each week in order to do that. So it is easy to follow, easy to do, and easy to do. Now, again, in order to set yourself up for massive, massive success later on throughout the week. I can't wait. This was an amazing conversation. So let's go ahead and get started. Okay, everyone, I have told you a little bit about Toni. And here I am so excited to have her on. It's honestly such a pleasure. Every time I get to talk with you. You bring a smile to my face. So I welcome to the show.

Yes, yes. Super excited to talk to you today. And yeah, I love talking with you too.

Oh, thanks. So we were we were just having a, you know, ramble before the show and talking about all the things and I we're going to talk a bit about time today. And and because it's so important that is the one continuous that we have. Right? Everyone has the same 24/7 Unless you I just finished teaching my kids. Well, I guess I'm still in it in the history. We're doing the history of science this year. We're doing I homeschool. And we're talking about the quantum world which makes time all super weird. And so we were like it's not always 24/7 But you know what, for the general life, it is always 24/7 so let's stick in there. But in case there's any weirdos out there listening to this like me, who is like, well, you know, it cannot be sometimes I get you but and let's be real hear in our day to day life. It's 24/7. Okay, so I want to get your story. I just find people's life stories and how they got to what they're doing, why they're so passionate about what they're doing. I find it so fascinating. So give us a little bit about you. Who is Tony An and how did you get to where you are?

Yes, yes. First let me just say thank you for letting me come on and talk to you like I really appreciate it. So I am Toni and I am a wife a mom first. I'm also a full time dentist and reservists in the Navy and the podcast host a real happy mom. So I wear a lot of different hats. I actually really love my life and love my job. I know a lot of people, they will do certain kind of side hustles or different passion projects to eventually get out of their full time job but I love my full time job. I actually didn't really want to be a dentist in the beginning. I was a super environmentalist and wanted to save the world. And I had this big goal I have been an advisor to the President on environmental affairs. And then I realized I don't like politics. So I quickly changed my mind. So the world of dentistry opened up because of my own issues. But I'm not going to get too much into that. But the part that I think, will really connect with a lot of who are people who are listening is, once I started working, I had just had my son. So I literally graduated in June had my son in December. And so it was really, it was really challenging. Because I think a lot of times we have these ideas of what a mom is supposed to look like, and what our lives are supposed to look like. And so I just thought that I was supposed to be doing all of these things. IE, being there every second for my son being there every second from my husband, making sure my house is spotless. And it's really not practical, especially as a mom that works outside of the home, to have all these things like I couldn't keep up. And as a result, what was happening was, I was pretty much burned myself out, completely lost my identity did not know who I was what I liked any of those things, because I was totally engrossed in being this mom, good mom, quote, unquote, if you're, you can't see me, I'm doing good mom. I'm trying to be this good mom, and just completely let myself go in the process. And the reason why I say that is because I remember the day that I was, it was shortly after my maternity leave. My maternity leave was very short, by the way, I got back. And a few months later, I was talking to one of my colleagues, and he was like, Yeah, you know, like, all this stuff about, like, what he does with his kids, whatever. And then he was like, Yeah, so what do you like to do for fun? And I was like, I don't know. I truly cannot answer that question. And it like, bothered me, because like, I was such a fun person before. Like, I love trying new things I love, you know, going to museums, and, you know, listening to different types of music and doing like fun adventures with my husband. And I truly cannot answer that question. And that's when I knew it had to change. So started connecting with other moms. Long story short, I learned now I'm not a unicorn. And this is not something that is unique to me. And so I realized that other moms struggle with a lot of the same things I did, hence why I started real happy mom. Because I think a lot of times we, as moms, we give into this dream, or this liar, whatever it is that society or our family has taught us. And we live this life that I don't think it's authentic to us, because we are individuals, and we should be able to do what is good for us and for our families. And so that's the reason why I wanted to stay a real happy mom, because you can be a fake happy mom, I see all the time. So I really want moms to be truly authentic to them selves to their families and truly be happy. And so, yeah, that's my new passion. Helping moms to you know, get systems routines, in a better hand on time. Because I think we were just talking about this, like, we feel like we never have enough time and I get it. Like I said, I wear a lot of hats. So I get you when you say I don't have time, but I learned some ways to help with that. So long story short, that's it. Sorry, Nellie. That was a really long.

That was fascinating. And I'm also fascinated by the hats you do wear because they are drastically different. But all you know, when you bring them down all, you know stem from the same route. But being a reservist in the Navy, being a dentist and being a podcast or for moms, you know, there's a lot of different hats being worn. But there, there's a lot of space between those hats, which I find really fascinating. You know, I, I have many hats too. And, but you know, I'm a homeschool parent, and we we own. We own a conservation company as a family. So the seaglass company, so when you said I want to, you know, save the world, I'm like, Oh, I get that. I get that. Yeah, so we started that in 2018 in order to have something for our family, but also because we saw what was happening in the world and we wanted to do something about it. So high five to you. And but yeah, I wouldn't want to be adviser to the president either. That's a no no, no, no, no, thank you. I'm really thankful. Do you know some people that are but no, thank you. But anyway, so I get that but I just really applaud you for having such three distinct different hats in there that you wear and they're all three so important. And thank you for being a reservist in the Navy, by the way. Thank you for Thank you. I appreciate that. Absolutely. Okay, so I want to I you talk about time a lot. You talk about routines a lot and I want to kind of explore this place because I feel like there is a time confidence versus time lack mindset, right? And you're gonna probably laugh at me. But back in the day there was saved by the bell, like the original Saved by the Bell, right? Not this new fangled one, whatever. Wow, newfangled make me sound like 90 So, but the original Saved by the Bell, and I forget her name, but she had the long, wavy hair. And she it was toward the ends of the season, or the series, and she was just getting all confused. And there was all these tests and everything and she had this massive breakdown in her room. She's like, there's just not time. There's not any time. There's no time for anything. And every Jesse, I think, what's your name? Maybe every time I feel like oh, they're I just don't have time for this. That is the image that comes into my head. And I'm like, I am on my floor crying saying there is not enough time. And I have to get myself out of that in because I think it's I didn't grow up necessarily. And I didn't have it instilled in me how to have time management. Before it's something I've definitely had to learn in adulthood with all of the different hats that we wear. And so really, have you seen this when people are stuck in this time lack sense? Do you see them? How does that manifest on the outside that you see? Yeah,

definitely a lot of frustration is the biggest thing that I see. In the biggest one. And when you say that, because I've talked to some moms, and they're like, I just can't do like any of this. Like they're saying, and I'm like, Well, why? And she's like, well, I just don't have time. And so I see a lot of people just giving up. Yeah. And then it's funny, because like, right before you hit record, we were talking and you're saying how it shows up in your finances to and I never thought about it until you said it. And I was like, Yeah, you're right. Because I remember doing the exact same thing. We're like, oh, it's not enough time, it's not enough money, like just can't do anything. So it definitely shows up in a lot of different areas of our lives. And I feel like like you said, a lot of things are all connected. And that's one thing that I really learned a lot, especially during the pandemic was that a lot of things that you think aren't necessarily important or aren't connected, like for instance, with our health and fitness and things like that, it can show up in that too, as well. So you just don't take care of yourself, or you just stop eating the right foods, or you just don't get enough sleep, or, you know, you're not drinking enough water, like everything is all connected. And it shows up in so many different places. And it's crazy how, once you said the finances, I was like, Yeah, and I can see it in all these other areas,

too. Absolutely. So when you start the path of lack, you know, if for lack of a more awesome word for that. But once you start the path of lack, it really does show up, you're like, oh, I don't have enough time to work out, I don't have enough time to spend with my kids. I don't have enough time to spend by myself, right. So why try and then what ends up happening is, and I only say this, because I've experienced it a couple of times in my past, but I see it a lot is you end up a person sitting in front of the TV watching, you know, your third Netflix binge show, and you're like, I know, this is all I have time for I have no time. And I found it so interesting that the more I have added to my life as an adult, you know, as I an author, coach, speaker, podcaster or homeschool or business owner, all of these things. I have more free time in my life now than I did when I was doing less things, which makes no sense to some people. But it really does come down to a routine, right? Finding that routine and being a good steward of my time. And that's just a mindset shift that that happens. And knowing my time is limited. I have no idea when my time is up, right? And that can seem dark to some people. But for me, it's very elevating. It's like I don't know. So I'm going to take advantage of today and I'm going to do everything I can today I'm going to live for everything I can today. It's not to say I don't sit down and watch some Netflix binge show sometimes. But it is not my my main job. Right? So um, so with that in I mean, I see when people are in lack, there's stuff like anxiety, right and all the ways that that shows up. So in the stomach and the headaches, but how do you see it showing up in relationships when someone is in this state of lack? How do you see it showing up in their families?

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Definitely a lot of disconnect because I know At least I'm gonna speak for myself when I was in that I don't have time base like, my marriage was a little suspect. So I realized, like, I didn't even really know like, what my husband actually liked and stuff, but he knew all these things about me because he pays attention. And so yeah, like I realized, like, it was a lot of things that I was not connected with with him. And then with the kids, too, I like look at them one day, and I'm like, when did you grow up? Like what happened? Like, I thought you were still in, you know, three teen now you're in like, small, like, regular kids clothes. So I think a lot of times we lose track of things. And then we start to feel like, Oh, my goodness, well, what else did I miss out on and, and things like that. But definitely with relationships, like it's totally like for me, like I said, totally disconnected, just feeling isolated, and things of that sort. But Nellie, really quick, you had brought up something I wanted to say this before I forget, when we were talking about time, and things like that. And what came to my mind was how a lot of times we say we don't have time for things, but there's a lot of other things that are sucking our time. And there's three major time sucks that I talked about that when you said I was like I have to tell you this now. And then we can we can move back on. The three major time sucks that I have found. And there's a whole bunch of others. But especially now in this day and age with technology is email, social media and TV. Those three things, you will be surprised how much time you're spending on things. And it's crazy. Because I remember thinking like I like wrote down and estimated like how much time I spend with those three things. I was totally wrong. It was like three times the amount that I had wrote down. It's crazy, like in the thing that I have, like, Finally, I've gotten to the point where I just delete the apps off of my phone. So I don't even get distracted. Because even if you put those timers you know how like the iPhone, and even with my Samsung over here, like you can put on there like, oh, only give me 30 minutes a day. But you can still like, you know, get out of that little 30 minutes. Oh, yeah, 30 minutes more. So I like finally had to just delete the apps because I was spending so much time just Mindlessly scrolling, Mindlessly scrolling. And that 30 minutes could be 30 minutes that you use towards, you know, spending time with your family, or whatever it is that you need to do to improve your life or to work towards your goals. But those three times that's I'm telling you pay attention right now my biggest thing is email, like I check my email so many times, it's really embarrassing. Like, I'm like, why is like I'm really like a habit. As soon as I pick up my phone, it's email, email, like it's just a habit. So I'm about to delete the app email app, like or at least like make it so it's not as accessible. But it's crazy how much time we're spending. And you'll realize, like, I do have time for things, it's just I'm spinning it in other places, I just want to throw that out there.

Oh, that is so good, though, that is so good. And notice that all three of those are screens, you know, I am not an anti screen person. I'm not an anti social media person, I think great things can come from it great things have. There's also a really dark side and a slippery slope that can hurt you on the other side of that. So I think thank you so much for bringing that up. And TV, especially it the other day, one of my 14 year olds, she was on her phone and we allow them to have 30 minutes a day. And there's the timer, you know, on the iPhones, you can look over a swipe over and see what the screen time is. And it tells you a breakdown. If you don't know this as a parent, swipe over, I think you swipe to the right. And there is a breakdown of they spent this much time on this app this much time on this app this much time in this anyway. So she was sitting there. And I was like so be sure to watch your time. And, you know, it's their responsibility. It's not mine to you know, be the how many minutes do you have left? Right? And so she was like, Mom, I've only been on here for like 12 minutes. And I was like, Okay, so I'm just curious. I was like once you swipe over and see what your time is. And it had been 37 and I was like she's like, I swear it was only 12. And I was like I know but you it's a really, you know, it's like the Lotus motel and Percy Jackson, you go in there and you lose all track of time. So anyway, yeah, you can very easily just like with the shows one more, just one more. One more. It's fine. One more. And then there's another 42 minutes gone another 42 minutes gone. Yeah. So no, so good. Okay, so what is so important so we know some of the time sucks now and we know the effect that it can have on our kids. And actually right before this before we move on I just a quick like how can you apply this? Right before we came on? One of my daughters came in and she was like, she just she did her like she sat down on the couch. I was downstairs and she was like, Oh, I had this dream last night and I was like okay, So I know this is a cool 10 minutes, right? This this story is gonna be a cool 10 minutes. And I didn't have 10 minutes. And so instead of just being like, yeah, I gotta go, I just told her, I want to give you all of my attention. And I can't do that right now. So I'm going to go do what I need to do. And then we're gonna circle back on this later. And I want to hear all about this dream, right. And so later on today, we'll sit down eyeball to eyeball, and she will tell me the intricacies of this probably very strange dream that she had. But my point is that this is how, like, very simply, you can put some of these things into practice. But tell me a little bit about why our routines important. So what is what is so great about the about the routine? And how do you set these up?

Yeah, so routines are really important. I think a lot of times when you think about routines, we think about them as more so for kids and babies, and particularly like, oh, I have to make sure that their naptime routine is this way. But really, I feel like routines are for us. Because routines, serve for many different purposes. The big one is, for me, it serves as an anchor. So we know that, you know, whenever I do these certain things, it will at least bring some sort of stability to our lives. And back to learning things from 2020. In the pandemic, I think a lot of the anxiety that we're having is we had a lot of things taken away from us, and there was a lot of uncertainty, but routines give us some of the feeling of you know, okay, at least I know for certain this, this and this is going to happen, so that you can start to feel calm and not feel so anxious. So that's when, when 2020 was being itself, I had to adjust those routines so that I wouldn't feel so anxious, and wouldn't feel, you know, so overwhelmed during the day. And then also too, they provide like really healthy habits, and important sleep cycles, going back to the naptime routine. And then lastly, I think I kind of said it a little bit, but it brings that predictability to your day because life happens. Things don't always go according to plans, but at least you know, not necessarily saying that you have to do things at a certain time of the day. But you know, when you you know, activate that routine, you know, being whether it's in the morning or in the evening, you know that okay? All right, at least got this in that will bring things back to being a little bit more predictable in your life. So for moms, there's a couple routines that I really think you have absolutely none. There's a couple that I think would be really helpful to get you started. The three that I think are really helpful to have or a morning routine evening routine and a Sunday routine or routine that prepares you for the week. My big one that I love to talk about is my Sunday routine. Because I am a believer, I will stay on top of the rooftops. And I will tell you this, if you do this every Sunday before the week starts your week will go by so so well. Even though life will happen, you won't be so are like, you know, reactive, you won't. It won't be as chaotic as it when you don't do it. Because I have gotten into weeks where I did not implement my routine. And I was just like, oh, where's my stuff again? Like, where's this? Like, I'm telling you, it makes things go so much smoother for you. So you don't have those, you know, Monday skerries or, or feeling like, oh gosh, here we go on Monday, at least you're like more prepared like, Okay, I'm ready for Monday, like let's go. So a lot of people get annoyed because I tell them Monday is my favorite day of the week. Part of the reason why Monday is my favorite day of the week is I'm a huge wrestling fan and Monday rock comes on on Monday night. So that's like one of the big reasons but also to start something new start a new week. So yeah, I really think that those routines are truly truly helpful and helping us to have that predictability for having that anchor like I was telling you about in your life so that you're not feeling like scattered and all over the place.

That is it is so true. And I do agree for the parents it's it's huge. Some friends of ours and young couple that we mentor just had a baby and she's about three weeks old now. And so think about that, you know when when our babies are little, little little and there is no routine it is pure survival diapers and feeding right? And does that feel good? Right? You're so in love with your baby and there's all this you know going on, but you don't even know if it's 3am or 3pm You don't know when you last showered, you don't know what is going to happen. Right? And so that can that type of mindset. It can be what happens when we don't have a routine and maybe minus a few dirty diapers and or maybe with them and so um, but yeah, we can get into that place but with the kids I know that Since I homeschool, one of the things that we were able to do is we have a we have a big board downstairs, I have a double sided whiteboard, and I homeschool in the way that I'm actually up at the board teaching. There's 90,000 different ways to homeschool. That's just the one that we do. And so, but on one side of the board it has all of like Monday through Saturday, this is what you can expect. Can we diverge from this? Absolutely, oh, if there's a field trip, if something happens, whatever, but you can generally expect this. And then anything that's coming up, we have a spring break trip, we don't this year, but if we did that would be there, you know, and all of these things, and it was really helpful for them to see that. But also, you get so much less questions as as the parent Right? Which mom oh, you know, what are we doing now? What is today? What time is it? What are we doing? Go look at the board, or you know, if they know routine, then that is a lot less pressure on you to So that's huge.

Yes, it is. And then for them to, like they know like what to expect to so it makes it a whole lot easier, especially when their day is go a little cray cray. But the other thing too, I just remembered another really quick is that, you know, a lot of times like, like I was saying we think about it for the kids, but just imagine you go to work and your boss doesn't tell you what time you're gonna get off what time you're gonna have lunch, if you're gonna have a break. Like that's what it's like, when you don't have routines like you're like what Wait, like I go home yet. So those routines give you that predictability and makes it go by like a lot smoother for you.

Right and productivity too. Because that's a perfect example, that you just shared, you know, if you go to work, and you're like, I don't know, when I have lunch, I don't know when I go home. So I'm just gonna sit here, I'm gonna think about that, instead of actually being productive and doing what I'm supposed to do. But if you have these parameters, which is this is where for me routines come into So, so handy, right? Because if I know, I have time for everything that I need to do today, and if this two hours is set aside for writing, or podcasting, or you know, coaching or what have you, then I am going to fill these two hours with that, and then I'm going to be able to switch gears and do something else that I need to do. But it gives space for everything when you're doing a routine. So it actually frees up so much of your time. It doesn't constrain it. Would you agree?

I absolutely agree with you. Yeah.

So what do you do on Sundays? Yes, yes. So

Sunday's it's five key things, we can break these down if you want to, but I'm gonna give them to you really quick. Okay, so five key things I feel like you do these will make your life so much easier. So one is not necessarily in any order, I'm just gonna throw them out there. So one is getting your clothes ready for the week. Two is planning out in preparing for your week in your calendar, whether it's electronic, or paper, three is planning out your meals, four is clean out your purse, bag, whatever it is that you use on a regular basis. And then five is restarting your devices. These five things I have found that when you implement this, it makes things go by a whole lot smoother, especially since like I said, Now we have a lot of this technology and devices don't tend to act right especially when you're wanting to it will make it go a lot easier when you have all of these things done before Monday rolls around.

So speaking of so with restarting devices, are you just talking about like a reboot of them?

Yeah, yeah. So what happens is, is a lot of times when you have like your phone or your computer running, you have a lot of programs and things running in the background. And over time, it slows your computer down. It causes it to crash or in the middle of us having this conversation, you know, boom, hey, do you want to do an update? No, I don't run button and now it's never doing an update. It permits all of those things from happening. So yeah, doing a code like reboot of everything will help to close all of those programs out so that you don't have all the crashes and unexpected, you know, technical difficulties throughout the week.

Oh, that is awesome. I haven't thought of that. i My computer's. You don't want to know how long it's been on for. So. But with in restarting devices just reminded me of this. I was actually at a retreat. We were at a i My husband and I are youth leaders. And so we were at a retreat not too long ago. And they were talking about social media and not just social media, but just all the apps on your phone. And so we had like an obscene number of hours in a bus ride with these 40 kids. And it was a lot of fun, but so many hours. I think it was 23 hours on a bus. And so anyway, I just looked at my phone and I was deleting and deleting and deleting. I ended up deleting over 70 apps from my phone and granted my kids you know Download these weird games, you know if we're somewhere so they've downloaded a lot over time, but a lot of them are mind two that I'm like, I don't do this at all right. And so that's just something that you could do. I don't know if you want to do it every, you know, Sunday for everything, but just it popped into my mind, there's so much stuff on your phone that you do not use. And my battery now lasts easily twice as long as it used to easily. So, so good. And I wasn't even using the, I don't know, Dragon city app, but it was somehow eating up my battery. So there's that I love the idea of a clean, clean purse or bag or car, you know, whatever you have whenever we get back from church on Sundays, I because as many times as I tell my kids bring everything out of the van that you guys brought in. There's so much stuff left in there. You're like, where did this even come from? And so yeah, that for me is like my clean out. And I was like, Oh, I can see the black interior of the van again. Awesome. And so that's awesome. And then meals when we were talking about that predictability that What are we having for dinner? Mom, right? Oh, it's so much easier to be like, Oh, it's up there. It's on the menu. Right? So good. Yeah,

I That's my dog question that irritates me the most is when we haven't put in. Don't ask me like, I'll figure something out. That's why having the meal card with with everything on there is so helpful.

Oh, so good. And we have I don't know if you and your house have this. But we have this in our house where we have, we call them grab bag nights. And it's just like we get back from youth, for example, on Wednesday nights at like nine o'clock. And then as many times as we try, we just never have dinner before we go. And we just like having dinner in the fives is just unimaginable for some reason for our family. So having dinner at nine we're like, I don't know, open up a can of corn and see what you got, you know, and whatever that is. So we have grab bag in there. And they know that is fend for yourself night.

I like that one. That one's good.

Yeah. But tell me about the clothes. So do you like get them literally all out? Are you? Do you just plan them out? Or?

Yeah, yeah. So for me, I literally take them all out. So it's a lot easier because I wear a uniform to work. So it's not too much to think about. But the problem is now like, a lot of the reason why I'm saying do these five things is because these are some of the things that will take up a lot of brain power, because it's mom's like, we make a lot of decisions and have to think about a lot of things. And I have learned about this whole thing about decision fatigue a while ago. And it is a real thing that we suffer from as moms. And so I truly believe you set things up for yourself. So you don't have to think about them. It at least prevents this decision fatigue from happening. And makes it so that you don't feel like so stressed out throughout the day, or in the middle of the day. Because that's typically when I noticed things starting to break down. Because usually when you get to that point of decision fatigue, one or two things I've noticed that happen is either one, you don't make any choices at all or two, you make some really poor choices. So like I said, by having these decisions already done and made for you, it makes it so much easier for you to just kind of go throughout your day and use that decision making power on things that are important. Not Should I wear stripes, or should I wear polka dots. Like, let's use that on something more important. So yeah, going back to your question, I literally will look at, you know what I have going on for the week. So for instance, I know I'm working Monday through Thursday, I'm getting all of my stuff out on the hangers so I can see, okay, I can have it already. I go as far as putting my underwear and socks on the hanger too. So I literally don't have to look for anything. I just grab it and go. Also look at you know, do I have like anything in particular coming up as far as any special meetings? If I'm drilling that weekend, do I need to have my uniform ready for drill? It needs special date night or anything like that. Just go ahead and have it ready? Because how many times have you like wanted to wear something in particular? And Oh, you found out you have a hole in it? Or oh, there's an ugly stain. And now it's like, Oh, what am I going to wear now? So now he's like another, what, 1520 minutes trying to figure out what to wear, but also to it can help you, you know, to be more prepared. So like, for instance, if I have like a uniform inspection, I know okay, I need to make sure I take this to the cleaners on Monday so that it'll be ready by the time I'm ready to go on Friday. So yes, I will take everything out, plan it out. Also looking at the weather and like I said what events I have going on for the week. So again, I'm not using my decision making power on when I'm going to where I'm gonna use it on something more important.

So it sounds like a lot. But honestly, what you're saying you spend 15 minutes maybe right doing this one thing, and it will save you that five to 10 minutes every day. Right that you're trying to figure it out. So five to 10 minutes Monday through Friday that I mean you could be talking about almost an hour deciding on what to wear, right. And then oh my goodness, yeah, if you have a busy day and Then you take down a sweater and see that there's a hole in it. You're like, nothing is going right. The whole day is terrible, you know? Oh, yes. And the bombs start falling. And it's, you know, 7am. And so yeah, I It's a fantastic idea. And I tried to have the next day's readiness, but I work out every morning. It's part of my morning routine. So I make sure that part is ready. But man, maybe I should start putting out like Monday clothes to not just my workout clothes.

So try it, just try it and see, because I do my workout clothes too. Like, I'll have those out. Because like I said, I get everything ready. Yeah, I have the workout clothes out too. So I can just grab that and go to the gym. Because I'm I like to do morning times. It just makes it a lot easier. And I feel a lot better. But yeah, having it all out. I know a lot of moms will be like, but what if I'm just staying home still like, again, using that decision making power on something that you could use it on something else?

Oh, let's pause there for a second because I do want to say so even if you're staying home do not stay in the same outfit all. You want to move. So my youngest daughter, my youngest one of my middle daughters, she comes in and works out in the morning when I do. And so as part of our schooling, our you know, our PE, whatever, everyone has to work out 20 minutes a day, and you can decide what that is. But you need to I want them to get into the habit of moving 20 to 30 minutes every day, right? So my point being though, she was coming down, like literally, she would roll out of bed and walk downstairs, she's on the third floor. So we're on the second floor, she would roll out of bed and come downstairs walk into this room that I'm already working out in one I like still kind of closed and she's wearing her pajama bottoms her you know, big old big sweatshirt and all this and she would work out and I'm like, No. So you actually need to like put your hair up, you know, put a bra on and get some workout clothes on so that you can actually be in the mindset of now. You know, sleep time is over. Now it is moved time. Right. And that's just a an example that happened this week that we had to work on. And so anyway, but if you do if you stay in the same clothes all day long, they those yoga pants are comfy, I'm not gonna lie, they are very comfy, right? But if you stay in them all day long, then you're still in bed in your mind all day long, right?

Definitely. I know, there's some people who who live in their PJs and who actually get things done, but I truly believe like you do gotta like, you know, get yourself dressed in for whatever it is that you're getting ready to do whether working out, you know, doing the garden or going to work like you got to get ready.

Yeah, I do a lot of time on Zoom. And there is the whole like, especially since COVID came you know, the whole WHAT IS IT business on top 30 on the bottom or sleeping on the bottom, you know, type thing, the work mullet with your clothes that they were talking about. But I promise I'm wearing pants right now. And so, but I have found and there's some times when I work in different time zones, if I'm like if it's if it's past nine o'clock, I got my PJ pants on, even if I'm doing you know, Australian podcasts or what have you. But other than that, get dressed it will change your mindset. It will be so much better. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for being here. This has been a great conversation. And can you tell everybody where we can find you?

Yes, yes. So if you're listening right now just go up to the search bar and type in real happy mom. You'll find me there on the podcast. And then online. I'm at real happy mom.com And all over social media at real happy mom trying to keep it simple for you. So real happy. That's where to find me.

I am just also super impressed that you got real happy mom is your IRL.

Let me tell you something, really. When I first started it, I told my husband, I was like, Hey, we got to claim everything. So before I even decided on that name, I made sure I had it everywhere.

That is so impressive to me. Like I swear you could like snuffleupagus.com or whatever is taking these days. So the fact that you got real happy mom, that's kudos to you. So your way to think forward. That is awesome. So well. Thank you so much for being here and being a part of our talk today.

Yes. And thank you so much for having me. I truly enjoyed talking to you.