We could all use a bit of a pep talk now and then, right? Running your own business is hard, especially as a woman. People will often belittle your business or won’t take it seriously. We can’t wait for other people to buy into our dream — we must believe in our own businesses before we expect anyone else to. I’ve never talked about entrepreneurship in this way before – and it’s absolutely essential to do so.
In this episode, you’ll hear…
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Mentioned in this episode:
Legal Workshop
Do you feel lost thinking about how to legally protect your online business? Head to mylegalworkshop.com to sign-up for immediate access to my free 1-hour legal workshop, 5 Steps to Legally Protect & Grow your Online Business.
Hey there, and welcome back to On Your Terms.
Speaker:I'm your host, Sam Vander Wielen, an attorney turned entrepreneur who helps online
Speaker:coaches and service providers legally protect and grow their online businesses using my
Speaker:DIY legal templates and my Ultimate Bundle program.
Speaker:Here on the show, each week I bring you fresh legal tips on how to legally protect your
Speaker:business and grow that business on your terms.
Speaker:So, I've got something super exciting coming for you at the end of the month, so I just
Speaker:want to drop a little teaser and tell you to keep your eyes and ears peeled.
Speaker:I can't tell you what it is quite yet.
Speaker:You got just, like, I think maybe less than two weeks for you to hear about it, but I'm
Speaker:just so excited.
Speaker:speaking of things that I'm excited about, I was wondering whether you've seen that I've
Speaker:been sharing brand new Q&A episodes every Thursday.
Speaker:So, if you're an OG podcast listener, you know for, like, the first-year-and-a-half, I
Speaker:had a new podcast episode every single Monday.
Speaker:starting on December 1st of 2022, I actually started airing a second episode each week on
Speaker:Thursday called Sam's Sidebar.
Speaker:It's a little Q&A episode where I answer one of your legal questions in ten minutes or
Speaker:less. People have really been loving it, so I hope that you've been listening.
Speaker:If you want to go back and binge a little, they're super quick.
Speaker:You can listen to them in the car, while you're walking, all that fun stuff.
Speaker:The first one I did was episode 72 on December 1st.
Speaker:That's where I talked about what else you need besides an LLC.
Speaker:That's a really good one to listen to if you think like, "I got an LLC, is there anything
Speaker:else I need to do?" Episode 74 was, What happens to my business if I die?
Speaker:Tough topic, but really important and just a really nice quick one.
Speaker:Episode 76, I talk to you about can you use the copyright symbol without registering.
Speaker:That was a really good one.
Speaker:And Episode 78 is if you can work with clients overseas.
Speaker:That's a a question I get so often.
Speaker:let me know if you've been liking these Q&A episodes.
Speaker:I want to make sure.
Speaker:I'm only going to keep doing them if you like them.
Speaker:So, send me a DM, let me know if you've been listening, if you like it.
Speaker:But, otherwise, I just hope you enjoy this episode.
Speaker:It's a bit of a a pep talk.
Speaker:I really gotten into it. I think I started to cry at one point.
Speaker:But the point of this episode was really just to encourage you to believe in yourself and
Speaker:in your business before other people do, because we cannot wait for other people to buy
Speaker:into our dream. We've got to buy into it first.
Speaker:All right. So, let's just jump right in.
Speaker:there's a funny thing that can happen when you start a business as a woman.
Speaker:There can be this kind of attitude or assumption that what you're doing in your business,
Speaker:well, if they'll even recognize it as a business, is kind of cute or secondary or a hobby
Speaker:or a little side hustle.
Speaker:There's a lot of belittling that goes on.
Speaker:least in my experience and what I've heard from friends and colleagues as well and from
Speaker:so many of you, that people in your life might not always take it seriously.
Speaker:For some of you, this might be people who are unfortunately very close to you.
Speaker:For others, it might be, you know, Uncle Larry at Thanksgiving.
Speaker:It might be some schmuck on the street.
Speaker:Who knows?
Speaker:either way, I've heard this time and time again that people see your business as not
Speaker:being as legitimate or serious, as if you told everybody I'm opening a bakery or I'm
Speaker:opening a gym or something like this.
Speaker:They don't see it that way.
Speaker:A lot of this comes from a lack of understanding of online business.
Speaker:And we'll talk about this a lot today.
Speaker:is a really different episode, by the way, than I feel I've ever done.
Speaker:But I'm really excited to have this conversation with you and I'm just excited to hear
Speaker:what you think after you listen.
Speaker:And I also see the same thing, we do this to ourselves as well, I know when I started my
Speaker:legal business and definitely when I had my health coaching business, I would always call
Speaker:it a little business.
Speaker:Like, when I was talking to people out and about, I would just be like, "I have this
Speaker:little business. I have this little thing." Do you ever do that?
Speaker:I would put myself down.
Speaker:also would put myself aside or put my business second to other things in my life, because
Speaker:I was still seeing it through that lens of being second or aside or not as important, not
Speaker:as legitimate if I was opening my bakery, which I would love to open if I could bake.
Speaker:I can't bake, I can just cook.
Speaker:But the idea of having a bakery with a lot of bread and croissants and all of the stuff,
Speaker:isn't that the dream?
Speaker:I think so. Having a bakery, by the way, does not make our businesses any less
Speaker:legitimate, serious, amazing accomplishments, anything like that.
Speaker:I find, typically speaking, from Uncle Larry to the schmuck on the street to maybe,
Speaker:unfortunately, your partner or your friend - I had a friend who did this to me - people
Speaker:don't understand what we do and they don't have a real working understanding of online
Speaker:business, so they belittle it.
Speaker:And for some people, it comes from a good place of just an ignorance or lack of
Speaker:understanding. And so, they're not trying to be rude, but their only conception and
Speaker:understanding of social media is, like, Uncle Larry posting on Facebook about the chicken
Speaker:dish he had for dinner last night.
Speaker:That's their understanding.
Speaker:they've heard these stories about, you know, influencers.
Speaker:Not that there's anything wrong with influencers, by the way.
Speaker:But that's what they've seen.
Speaker:They've seen - what's that family?
Speaker:The D'Amelio family or something that became huge on TikTok and now they have a show on
Speaker:Bravo or E! Or some big network.
Speaker:I don't know, I don't watch it, but I've seen that.
Speaker:And sometimes I think that people just lump us all into this category, because you market
Speaker:your business on social media, you must be like Kim Kardashian or you're like Kylie
Speaker:Jenner because you show up on Instagram and do stories.
Speaker:sometimes when we are in online business - and I've even had these moments myself when I
Speaker:talk to people who are really outside of our space - you kind of have that moment where
Speaker:you come back down to earth and you're like, "Oh, right.
Speaker:People think I'm kind of weird because I'm talking to my phone or I'm taking videos of my
Speaker:food. And they're like, 'Oh, is that for Instagram?'" Or, you know, I've been out with
Speaker:people who aren't in the space and they make comments about things that it's very clear
Speaker:that they follow me on social, which is very strange.
Speaker:it is different what we do.
Speaker:I understand, it's new, it's different.
Speaker:And for most people who are still operating in a 9:00 to 5:00 job or who work in
Speaker:corporate or have never had a job or whatever, they might look at all these things that
Speaker:we do and think it's strange.
Speaker:Some people think it's narcissistic.
Speaker:I mean, obviously, there are narcissistic elements to what we do.
Speaker:But I mean, we're building a business and a business is like that in the space that we
Speaker:do.
Speaker:she looks a little narcissistic." But I would look at you and be like, "Dang.
Speaker:She's building a killer business.
Speaker:She's doing what she's got to do." That's the way that I think of it.
Speaker:think that this lack of understanding leads to a lot of kind of rude or hurtful
Speaker:questions, despite the fact that they might have good intentions.
Speaker:Like, how's your little blog?
Speaker:When you don't have a blog, you're not a blogger.
Speaker:You blog as part of your marketing strategy, but you're not a blogger.
Speaker:And I always hate having this conversation because I'm like, "Yes, but there's nothing
Speaker:wrong with being a blogger either." There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker:just that when you are building a business that is different, you are building something
Speaker:outside of yourself, you are building something serious here.
Speaker:And that's really what we're going to talk about today.
Speaker:I really want you to use this as a pep talk and come back to it whenever you need it that
Speaker:you are building a legitimate business.
Speaker:And just because it's online, just because you use Instagram or Facebook or TikTok or
Speaker:whatever thing of the moment to promote it does not make it any less serious or
Speaker:legitimate as my dream bakery scenario.
Speaker:I have faced quite a bit of this in my own journey.
Speaker:And I remember when I was leaving the law - so for anybody who doesn't know, I was a
Speaker:corporate lawyer for over five years.
Speaker:And then, I left to start a health coaching business.
Speaker:And so, at least when I left the law firm, that's what all the lawyers thought I was
Speaker:going to do, because that was my plan at the time - I got all the little like, "Oh,
Speaker:you're starting a blog." Or like, "Oh, you're going to be a yoga teacher." "Oh, you're
Speaker:going to do this."
Speaker:he acted very happy for me to my face.
Speaker:And then, like, five minutes later, I heard him - because he was so loud - say to one of
Speaker:my colleagues at the firm, "Sam's leaving to go teach fat people not to eat
Speaker:cheeseburgers."
Speaker:just agree to that? And please don't think I'm skipping over because I'm just trying to
Speaker:stay on track with what we're talking about today - rooted in his comment, besides the
Speaker:misogyny and the fatphobia and all these kinds of things, is the fact that he didn't
Speaker:understand what I was doing.
Speaker:He's a very smart person, and I explained to him what I was doing.
Speaker:I still remember, and maybe you do, too, maybe before you started an online business, you
Speaker:still remember that moment when you found the online space.
Speaker:Maybe you found another coach or something, or you landed on, like ,one of the big people
Speaker:in our industry and that kind of sucked you into this whole world.
Speaker:And maybe you found a blogger, like I started a billion years ago.
Speaker:kind of like entered slowly into this world a million years ago through food blogging
Speaker:because I'm obsessed with food.
Speaker:So, I read a million food blogs.
Speaker:And so, I would read these food blogs, and then those food bloggers became coaches
Speaker:sometimes, or they would take like, IIN.
Speaker:And then, I was like, What's IIN?
Speaker:What's a health coach?
Speaker:What do you mean people are meeting on Zoom?
Speaker:What do you mean people are getting paid just to support other people?
Speaker:This was all so crazy to me when I first found out.
Speaker:I tried to have a lot of sympathy and empathy and understanding - this is something I'm
Speaker:working on in life in general - in trying to see things a bit more balanced and not so
Speaker:black and white that I understand where people are coming from because I, too, remember
Speaker:how crazy it sounded.
Speaker:Not crazy, but it was so foreign to me coming from a 9:00 to 5:00 - well, I didn't have a
Speaker:9:00 to 5:00 job. We had, like, an 8:00 to 9:00 job - 8:00 in the morning until 9:00 at
Speaker:night, by the way. Not 8:00 a.m.
Speaker:To 9 a.m. That would be an amazing job.
Speaker:But I had a very corporate-y buttoned up situation where everything was black and white,
Speaker:right and wrong, good and bad, good and evil.
Speaker:And it totally rocked my world.
Speaker:when my boss said, "Oh.
Speaker:She's leaving to help fat people learn not to eat cheeseburgers," he might have even said
Speaker:fat women. I don't remember.
Speaker:But I just remember thinking like, "Oh, wow.
Speaker:He doesn't understand me." On top of, by the way, feeling like absolute garbage because -
Speaker:you know what it's like - I was so terrified to leave.
Speaker:I was already doubting myself.
Speaker:I had plenty of doubt in myself to then be belittled like that was just a little spark I
Speaker:needed to light that fire.
Speaker:the initial fire that it lit was like the, "Oh, my gosh.
Speaker:I'm doing the wrong thing. I'm such an idiot.
Speaker:What am I doing?" And then, that fire burned out and immediately lit the fire of like,
Speaker:"I'm going to show this guy.
Speaker:I am going to show him." And, boy, did I.
Speaker:Boy, did I.
Speaker:you're going to face this as part of your business.
Speaker:You might be facing this as part of your business.
Speaker:You just went through the holiday season.
Speaker:I'm sure that you got some comments from Old Aunt Betty at Christmas like, "Hey, what's
Speaker:going on with you? What's this business again?
Speaker:I don't get it." So, it's frustrating.
Speaker:also got the whole husband supporting me thing.
Speaker:So, when I went to go leave the law, I remember people being like, "That's so nice that
Speaker:Ryan's letting you do that." And I was like, "How is Ryan letting me do that?
Speaker:I'm a human.
Speaker:I'm an adult on my own.
Speaker:I am an adult woman who has a job and I've saved my own money and I contribute to my
Speaker:household. I'm not being taken care of."
Speaker:me to leave was, well, (A) I didn't have children.
Speaker:(B) I had health insurance through Ryan's work.
Speaker:So, I fully acknowledge how much easier - and I always say that when I talk about my
Speaker:story, I hate when people are like, "Everyone leave your job.
Speaker:It's so easy. You can too." It's not so easy for everybody.
Speaker:It's not the case.
Speaker:I got the whole, "Oh, it's nice for him to do that." Or, I got the, "Isn't he a
Speaker:professor? How can he afford to let you do that?" I'm like, "He can't.
Speaker:That's why he's not letting me.
Speaker:And by the way, he doesn't need to let me.
Speaker:And by the way, I'm going to build this thing so I can be the breadwinner.
Speaker:Like, who cares? I don't care.
Speaker:I'm in a relationship.
Speaker:I don't care who makes the money."
Speaker:I'm like, "Absolutely not.
Speaker:This is my business.
Speaker:I'm not bringing my husband into this.
Speaker:This is my business.
Speaker:And he has his own life and he's incredible in his career and he's incredible at what he
Speaker:does. We do really different things." It's just funny.
Speaker:anywho, you're going to get, and maybe you are getting this, but here's what I want you
Speaker:to know at the end of the day, you are building a legitimate business.
Speaker:If you have a blog, if you're a yoga teacher, if you're on Instagram, if you have a TikTok
Speaker:account, if you're a coach, if you're an influencer, if you are creating online courses,
Speaker:if you are posting sponsored content, whatever it is, you are building a legitimate
Speaker:business. You get to decide the legitimacy of what you're doing.
Speaker:Not everybody else.
Speaker:wrote an email to my list the other day - if you don't get my emails, by the way, there's
Speaker:a really easy way to sign up.
Speaker:I'll make sure you have the easy email link below.
Speaker:You can get my emails.
Speaker:People love my emails.
Speaker:But you can get my emails below without going through all my marketing stuff - talking
Speaker:about my beloved Philadelphia Phillies.
Speaker:So, I'm from Philly.
Speaker:I love the Phillies.
Speaker:And the Phillies were in the World Series.
Speaker:And I wrote this email before the World Series were over, and so I didn't know if the
Speaker:Phillies were going to win or not.
Speaker:It turns out they didn't. But it's okay.
Speaker:It doesn't matter. It wasn't part of the story.
Speaker:story was that what I thought was so incredible about the Phillies story this year - and
Speaker:hang with me, even if you don't like sports, this is a helpful example - is that the
Speaker:Phillies were total underdogs like most Philadelphia teams are.
Speaker:Nobody believes in us, including ourselves.
Speaker:And the Phillies decided that they were going to go big, and they were going to go to the
Speaker:world stage, and they were going to be the best before everybody saw them as being
Speaker:possible to do that.
Speaker:They didn't wait for everybody to think that they were an incredible team who deserved to
Speaker:go to the World Series.
Speaker:They went to the World Series and they let everybody else catch up.
Speaker:how I feel about you with this business.
Speaker:You don't need everybody else to believe in your business.
Speaker:It makes me want to cry.
Speaker:You don't need everybody else to believe in your business in order for it to be
Speaker:legitimate. You get to decide that.
Speaker:here's the thing, and this is always what I see kind of intersecting with what I do, is
Speaker:that people will sometimes not think, especially women, that this is a legitimate
Speaker:business, the kind of business that you're building.
Speaker:They treat it as a little side hustle and they treat it as a little side blog, secondary
Speaker:backseat thing.
Speaker:And by the way, how well do you think things grow when you treat them as secondary, side
Speaker:hustle, backseat things?
Speaker:But we treat them that way.
Speaker:then, you come to me or you DM me or whatever, and you're like, "I don't know if I should
Speaker:legally protect my little side hustle, tiny business yet." Your business is legitimate,
Speaker:and legitimate businesses get legally protected.
Speaker:You have to legally protect this business.
Speaker:If you are still thinking it's small and tiny, whatever, that's like a separate
Speaker:conversation, which hopefully we've already covered today.
Speaker:And we need to work on that within ourselves.
Speaker:We cannot wait for other people to do this for us.
Speaker:We cannot wait for other people to recognize and legitimize what we are building here.
Speaker:And you might be starting with something seemingly small to you right now, but everything
Speaker:starts somewhere.
Speaker:Everything. So, it might be "small" today.
Speaker:That doesn't mean you're building a small business.
Speaker:Your business is going to be huge eventually.
Speaker:Six months from now or six years from now, it's going to be huge.
Speaker:That's the attitude you have to have.
Speaker:If we approach our business every single day with like, "I'm just building a little
Speaker:business. I'm building a little business." So, you're building a business that's going to
Speaker:make $5 a year, that's a little business.
Speaker:You're not doing that.
Speaker:know you. I know you're a go-getter.
Speaker:And I know that you're building a legitimate business.
Speaker:An online business is not any less legitimate than any other kind of business.
Speaker:And so, as I've talked about many, many times, the rules always apply to you.
Speaker:The law applies.
Speaker:The rules apply.
Speaker:The law doesn't see what you're doing as a little tiny business.
Speaker:this is bigger than the rules.
Speaker:This is about believing in yourself and believing in what you're building.
Speaker:And it's about believing that you're building something serious, regardless of where it's
Speaker:at now, regardless of whether the world sees it that way yet, regardless of whether Uncle
Speaker:Larry - God love him - sees it.
Speaker:also feeling like all of the stress and overwhelm about the legal side of business,
Speaker:because on top of all of this nonsense that we're dealing with that I just talked with
Speaker:you about, you've got the fact - you're right - that legal stuff is confusing.
Speaker:It's overwhelming.
Speaker:It's a lot to take in.
Speaker:You've already got a lot on your plate, maybe you have a family, maybe you have another
Speaker:job, maybe of life stress, maybe you lost your dad this year.
Speaker:wearing a lot of hats if you are running your business.
Speaker:You're chief marketing officer.
Speaker:You're chief financial officer.
Speaker:You're chief everything officer.
Speaker:You're wearing a lot of hats.
Speaker:And nobody taught you this stuff, and they weren't supposed to, and you weren't supposed
Speaker:to learn it.
Speaker:knowing the legal stuff. I'm like, "That's okay.
Speaker:I don't know anything about what you do." That's what you're here for.
Speaker:This is what I'm here for.
Speaker:I'm here to help you.
Speaker:And I'm here to be the legal voice to give you the legal tips that you need.
Speaker:You don't need to be chief legal officer.
Speaker:You don't need to be in-house counsel for yourself.
Speaker:Part of growing our business is embracing that we don't have to be everything to everyone
Speaker:or to every part of our business.
Speaker:And I think that the smartest entrepreneurs that I know, know how to hone in on their zone
Speaker:of genius and then kind of outsource the rest as efficiently as possible.
Speaker:instead of expecting to be your own lawyer, which you shouldn't be anyway, and harping on
Speaker:that, and spinning your wheels in it, and letting it hold you back, and being stressed
Speaker:out about whether or not you're going to be copied, or whether a client's not going to
Speaker:pay you, you get it done and you move on because we stay within our zone of genius.
Speaker:But that has to start with you believing that you're building something serious here and
Speaker:it deserves that kind of protection.
Speaker:they don't teach this stuff in school.
Speaker:Honestly, that's why I created the Ultimate Bundle, my signature program, because when I
Speaker:created it a million years ago now, I thought like I want this program to be the thing
Speaker:that you would have taken had you known you were going to end up here.
Speaker:It's the all in, all encompassing program that gives you, of course, the practical stuff
Speaker:of you get all these contracts and website policies that you can download, which are
Speaker:awesome. But you also get all this on tap, on demand knowledge, like, what happens if
Speaker:somebody doesn't pay you? What happens if someone steals your stuff?
Speaker:So, all of that is included for you in the bundle, that's why I did it.
Speaker:I said at the beginning, I've got something super exciting coming for you about the
Speaker:Ultimate Bundle at the end of the month, so you'll want to keep your ears and eyes
Speaker:peeled.
Speaker:I would love for you to send me a DM on Instagram and let me know if this episode was
Speaker:helpful for you. I've never talked about this in this way before, and so I'm just very
Speaker:curious what came up for you.
Speaker:I just really wanted to inspire you to treat your business as seriously as it deserves
Speaker:and as you deserve, and I hope that we did just that.
Speaker:So, with that, I'll see you on Thursday for Sam's Sidebar, my little Q&A.
Speaker:I hope you're listening.
Speaker:See you then.
Speaker:so much for listening to the On Your Terms podcast.
Speaker:Make sure to follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen to
Speaker:podcast. You can also check out all of our podcast episodes, show notes, links, and more
Speaker:at samvanderwielen.com/podcast.
Speaker:can learn more about legally protecting your business and take my free legal workshop,
Speaker:Five Steps to Legally Protect and Grow Your Online Business, at samvanderwielen.com.
Speaker:And to stay connected and follow along, follow me on Instagram, @samvanderwielen, and send