Episode 113 of the Fit Mother Project Podcast is another one of our special Member Chats — but with a twist!

The best way to stay on track with health and wellness is to have someone supporting you and holding you accountable. 

Couple goals go far beyond merely spending a happy life together, and we’ve got four members here today who have proved it!

In this fun and unique episode, our head of accountability and coaching, Kat, sits down with two successful fit couples: Mark and Susan and Chris and Steph.

Both couples have gone through the Fit Father and Fit Mother programs together, enhancing their lives and relationships in many ways.

They will walk you through what they did well, what they think they could have done better, and everything in between.

If you want to get in shape with your partner — without driving each other crazy — you’ve got to listen!

In this episode, you’ll learn about: 

• How each couple got started with our programs and who brought who on board with them.
• Juggling health and fitness efforts with a hectic lifestyle. 
• The challenges that can come from a couple starting a wellness journey together and how to overcome them.
• The amazing power of support and accountability. 
• Why couples who exercise together stay together.
• And more!

So, to get the most from your health and fitness efforts, listen to this episode on couple goals, take some notes, and check out FM30X! 

What is FM30X?

FM30X is a simple, sustainable, specific weight loss program designed especially for busy women over 40. With short metabolic training workouts, an easy-to-follow meal plan, and an accountability team there for you at every step, FM30X can help you lose 30, 40, or even 50+ pounds!

Click here to see what you get when you join the FM30X program today!

If you loved what you heard on the Fit Mother Project Podcast, please follow, rate, and review it on Apple Podcasts.

You can also listen to the show on:

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And don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube Channel and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn!

[00:00:13] Steph: in his defense, I said no right away because I didn't have time. I was like,

[00:00:20] like, this is going really smoothly.

[00:00:42] Kat: hi, I'm. Kat and I am so excited to have you here today. We have another great member chat episode. And this episode is really special because we not only have. Members from fit father here. You have members from fit mother here as well. And we are going to [00:01:00] get to hear what it's like to go through these programs together as partners.

[00:01:26] I'm going to start with, uh, Mark and Susan so they can give an introduction of themselves.

[00:01:35] Susan: I'm Susan Roland.

[00:01:54] And we just did not like how we felt where we were. We just needed to do something. [00:02:00] Um, so yeah, we can get a little more into that as we kind of go through this.

[00:02:20] So it took me a bit longer to kind of. Figure things out and, um, to get some trust in what was going on. I refer to Dr. A sometimes as the man behind the curtain in The Wizard of Oz because I'm like that was my mentality was like, this is just not even real, but I was going to go ahead and go with it because we do everything together.

[00:02:49] Kat: That's great. Okay. And we have Chris and Steph here who have some podcasts that we will link that you can go listen to, but I'm gonna let them give a little brief intro of themselves again

[00:03:12] So we just kind of we're four and a half years in at this point. And much like, uh, Susan and Mark there, we, we had Chris bring it forward to me and I had been stuck on all the different yo yo diets that were out there. I was a busy mom with very young children. I had tried counting calories. I'd failed.

[00:03:46] It's easy to cook the meals. I actually liked what was on the menu suggestions versus everything else I'd ever seen. So I decided, yeah, to jump right in with him too. And here we are today.

[00:04:07] Kat: We're

[00:04:10] Kat: okay, this is great because you mentioned something bold that happened for both of you for in both situations, like Chris and Mark, you were the ones who found the program and then presented this to your partner as. Come and let's do this together. Mark, I'll let you start off here.

[00:04:32] Mark: You know, I think to back up from 2022, I think in 2018, I had just a Done a Google search on, uh, best weight workouts for men over 55, right? Um, because I, I've worked out a lot of my life and it's like, I did the same old routine I did in high school and it's like, it seems like maybe this isn't the right thing to do.

[00:05:20] So Then fast forward to 2022. We were having this conversation. I said, you know, I've kind of been following this, this thing or seeing the ads on Facebook. Um, maybe it's something to look into. And so literally when I said that I got the laptop and, and went to the website and, um, and much like Chris said, I, I was all in right from the get go.

[00:06:05] And, and these emails are actually real. And I'm like, well, we have a choice we can trust or, or not. But nonetheless, I think it's worth trying the program, even if it is AI, right? So that was kind of our conversation. You probably have more to add to that.

[00:06:30] And. Mark had pulled some videos for me several years prior to that on how to lift correctly at my age and what weights to start with and all that. And we discovered that it was actually Dr. A back from several years ago that we had seen, um, on YouTube. So that was kind of cool. And, uh, yeah, I mean, it was, it was stepping into it.

[00:07:23] Are we going to stick with this or what? And Mark's like, well, I am and I said. I guess I will. So, we did it and, um, you know, at the, at the same time, um, you know, we just was taking it day by day, step by step and kind of making the program work for us instead of us working for the program, which was big for us.

[00:08:05] Mark: way. Yeah. And that was a big key sustainable.

[00:08:33] And so we were both really drawn to that aspect of it.

[00:08:38] Kat: Chris and Steph, you guys were a little bit different and because you were coming at it from different goals. Which, again, is another bold move, like, so Chris, how did you handle that coming at it from, I'm wanting to gain muscle and put on weight?

[00:09:01] Chris: well, um, yeah, so like, I mean, I initially, there's a cat behind me. I initially did a, uh, an internet search. That's how I came across. Dr. A, I like Googled, you know, how to build mus muscle after 40.

[00:09:40] So, um. But, uh, yeah, he came across as really genuine to me. So I was, you know, I was starting to, to consume a lot of the videos to try and get a sense of, of what he was saying. And I was like, you know, when I was younger, I enjoyed weightlifting and I feel that if I'm going to get myself into some reasonable kind of shape again, it should be something [00:10:00] that I enjoy doing.

[00:10:26] And a big portion was the FF30X, the weight loss thing, and there was a women's thing. So I. Simply presented that to staff. I said, like, I really want to try this. You know, I, I think that I could be successful at this. And there's also this, what do you think of that?

[00:10:49] I was

[00:10:53] Steph: really smoothly. Yeah, no, let's, let's take that curtain off for a [00:11:00] second. But, um, so. Yeah, he brought it to me. And as he said, he does get really hyper focused when he wants something. And so that is the nature of his personality. So it was a little bit of, okay, I hear you. I'm going to go read this now because I am the exact opposite.

[00:11:40] I'd like our children. I think we're six and four at the time. So I had no time for myself, right? So that was beyond even thinking about prioritizing myself in the world at that moment. And all of a sudden seeing. Well, hang on. It's still the same meals. I just use a measuring cup and he uses three portions of the same measuring cup, you know?

[00:12:17] Explaining how we made it work for us is that we constantly communicated you can eat all you want today and I won't be able to eat at all. I might be miserable, but you have to still love me when I'm miserable today and everything was a meal plan. The whole weeks were planned out. In fact, I, I'm neurotic enough.

[00:12:57] And so it is extreme [00:13:00] opposites and it still works. It's just a matter of how much you decide to put in your plate. Yeah. The more

[00:13:19] Uh, portion sizes were different, right? So that was like, wow, like that makes things really easy at that point, you know, considering the programs are polar opposites of each other, pretty much.

[00:13:40] And you started your program off together and then walk us through. So what happened? You start off together, things are going well.

[00:13:48] Mark: uh, yeah, uh, my first, uh, double trouble. Yeah. Um, and phase two actually back up from that. I tore a biceps muscle, uh, sometime in the first [00:14:00] couple of weeks or somewhere in there.

[00:14:29] October, mid October. So, um, and when I sat at a commission, my surgeon insisted that I not even walk for two months for fear that I might trip and ruin his work. Um, and it was, yeah, literally I, I did nothing. I, okay. I cheated. I went for walks. Didn't tell him. Anyway, um, but yeah, during that time, I

[00:14:57] Steph: You were making sure that investment was protected.

[00:15:03] Mark: But during that time, you know, I left to my own devices. I would have fallen completely off the program, uh, meal plan, everything. Cause it's like, I can't work out. So what's the point? Um, Sue kept going. Uh, with the workouts and she also kept us on track with the meal plan, um, which was invaluable.

[00:15:45] And, um, but I'm like, look what you've done, you know, which as an aside, by the way, she was, uh, she won the Fit Mother Contest. In 2022 while I was out of commission, she still did that. [00:16:00] Um, so that was huge, you know, and which was a motivation thing for me. I know. And, and when we did the video that day at our gym, when they surprised her with that, uh, award, um, I was still in my sling

[00:16:39] I think another 15 pounds during that time, uh, just doing the meal plan. Um, and so that just made all the sense in the world to me. You know, one of the things that Dr. Ray says early on in phase one is you can't outwork a bad diet. Um, and being a guy it's like, Oh, wait a minute. That's not true. That can't be right.

[00:17:20] Even without working out. Um, and then adding in the workouts again. Um, yeah, so that was, that's part of our story. It was just that whole part of 2022, that first year on a program where I was out of commission and she just kept it going and just killed it.

[00:17:55] My natural instinct was just to, okay, we'll just put it aside. We'll [00:18:00] both pick up later, but I'm like, you know, that's going to make him feel like he did this to me. And I didn't want that to happen. And I knew too, that he needed good nutrition more than anything to heal that body. Um, so I was persistent that that was just going to happen and it wasn't going to be any other way.

[00:18:47] So

[00:18:50] Kat: a beautiful reminder, right? I think so often when we talk with members who they're nervous to present the program to their partner. I, [00:19:00] I think if they really thought about it, like how you just phrased it in that package, you put it in of it was about loving your partner and about caring for your partner that you were like, I need to make sure I am being the best I can be to show up.

[00:19:29] Your partner that you're there with like, all right, great podcast guys. Like, I don't even know how that's just such a wonderful take home message. If you get anything out of this podcast, that's it right there. Like if you can't find it in yourself, right. To love yourself enough, if you're not there yet.

[00:19:56] Susan: Susan

[00:20:07] Susan: in the four months?

[00:20:45] You know, um, was some mental games with me and, you know, Amy's like, okay, just look for the non scale victories. Let's, let's, what's going on here? And, uh, so I'm like, oh, then we were in the sauna and I'm like, yeah, I can [00:21:00] feel my butt bones on the bench. This is new. I mean, I've never felt that before. And yeah, then it's just little things like that, you know, um.

[00:21:23] Steph: baggy clothes for a while.

[00:22:01] Just real sorry

[00:22:33] So beautiful.

[00:22:58] We can start Chris with Chris [00:23:00] and Steph. We can start with you guys. Did you feel anything like that happened

[00:23:16] And it's just. You start building a new level of trust and connection with each other that you didn't even know you could hit that level on right? There's high highs and there's low lows. And then there's everything in between as well. And all of a sudden you're sitting there on the other side of it going.

[00:23:52] You're going through this very emotional journey, which, which was incredibly emotional for myself along the way. And, [00:24:00] uh, just kinda, when it all is said and done, you go. Hang on, we're even better now. I didn't even know that was possible, you know, and uh, I don't know. I don't

[00:24:15] And it brings you, uh, also like there's, there's a little bit of a confidence. I know for us, like we're four years in. So the, the nutrition is kind of baked in. I mean, it's not like we're perfect or anything, you know, like there's small cheats that happen every now and then, but there's always that.

[00:24:43] Steph: for me.

[00:25:03] Steph: cook from my point of view.

[00:25:25] So I guess those are non scale victories in a way as well. Absolutely. Because all of a sudden, there he is making like the, the pepper onion stir fry, and he's just a whiz at it, and I got no problems. And I'm like, sure, you cook tonight, it's okay.

[00:26:09] It's like, Oh, I should be eating a bit healthier. I should be doing this. I should be doing other things that I'm, you know, May not even fully understand what those things are yet, but you know, and those thoughts are not really there anymore because we we've got that covered. Right? So we just make sure that we don't stray too far.

[00:26:51] And the next day is It's just automatically back on, on the train. We don't have to have to think about it, you know, it's just, it just happens. [00:27:00]

[00:27:07] Because that usually ended with a. I'm walking away right now because I don't want to hear you talk, but now don't tell me what to do, but it's now more, Oh, you know what? I had a bad day. I just need to recalibrate or I'm going to fast today. You work around me and it's just a natural acceptance. There's no, there's no resentment in it.

[00:27:31] Chris: And then lack of resentment would be a good portion of it is that we went in together, right? We went in together. We both accepted it. And then, yeah. And then it just basically baked itself into our lives, right? And it's just part of who we are now. Hey,

[00:27:57] I am just blown away at how amazing this [00:28:00] podcast has become. I had no idea when I started FFP around 10 years ago that it would grow into such an impactful mission. And I want to let you know that I am so grateful to be connected to you in this lifetime. And on behalf of me and my entire team, we are so grateful to be in your life, helping you get and stay healthier for your family.

[00:28:22] Kat: Susan and Mark, did you notice any strengthening? And your relationship through your journey.

[00:28:44] Um, we have a really nice gym, but there's also a lot of guys that are very serious there. And, um, gals are too. And so I just kind of felt like I should hide in the corner and he kind of got me. Out of the corner a bit and on different machines [00:29:00] that I'd never tried and uh, kind of helped me with that and And pretty soon I was like, you know, this is my gym.

[00:29:30] And notice that our time little by little was just being taken with other things. So now we're up at 4 30 in the morning, which seems really early and it is, and there's different times where, you know, I'm getting ready, he's getting ready and I'm thinking, I don't want to do this, but he's already getting ready.

[00:30:11] A little bit. We've done some MRTs together, and it's like, you know, You kind of look over, and I'm like, I'm doing these really sloppy, just to keep up, and I think you are, too. So, we better just slow down.

[00:30:40] Sue and I talked about this half jokingly. There's the accountability part, you know, that she just talked about. The flip side to that is if one of us says, Hey, gosh, does ice cream sound good? It's like, yeah, we're there. Boom. With all accountability is out the door [00:31:00] at sometimes. Right. And, but it's not a lot.

[00:31:14] Susan: Um, usually with us. We end up not feeling great afterwards. So, it's like, ugh. You know, it was good at the time, but I'm like, the next day you're just like, dragging butt, and, you know, trying to get a workout, and you're like, whoa.

[00:31:33] Mark: it. Let's do it.

[00:31:37] Susan: It's being able to, it's being able to reset, you know, and, Like Chris said, it's just kind of a habit and we do fast usually on the same days. Um, and so I think that's helpful again. Sometimes I'm like, I want a break.

[00:32:04] works. I love the healthy competition. Yeah. And you know, some of our first few months, um, you know, he wasn't able when he wasn't able to work out. We made sure and did the podcast, the YouTubes, the videos together. Um, we joked because we'd have coffee dates with Ben on Saturday mornings and listen to his, um, question and question and answer.

[00:32:53] Um, meals went really pretty well. We'd, we'd fix them and we'd, [00:33:00] you know, our tastes are similar, so we'd either both really love them or both really hate them, and so that worked out okay. And Um, yeah, just now we're, now we're kind of enjoying life like, um, we, we still are very active in the program, very active working out, heating, but it's not a hundred percent focus of our life.

[00:33:46] So, uh, now we're just having fun now being active.

[00:34:18] But, uh, but, uh, yeah, it's. It's uh,

[00:34:40] And so it's just something little simple like that that reminds me every day of where I came from. And it's as silly as running up the stairs at work.

[00:34:55] Steph: much snow. [00:35:00]

[00:35:05] There

[00:35:10] Mark: said. She did mow while I was incapacitated. So thankfully that was in the summer, not the winter. And she didn't have to shovel any snow.

[00:35:33] Um, uh, oh, there's a patch over there, and oh, I forgot some over

[00:35:40] Susan: window going, uh.

[00:35:50] Kat: As far as now you guys are like, kind of, you talked about you're in that maintenance mode or you kind of hit your groove, right? So you're setting new goals. Is that something that you guys do together as [00:36:00] a couple to help each other stay accountable? Or is it now more a solo and then just let the other one know?

[00:36:11] Chris: With us, it's been, uh, more solo, but let the other one know, because we do talk about it with each other all the time. But because our goals are pretty much completely different, um, yeah, it's, we generally just communicate them to each other.

[00:36:58] Steph: Yeah, it's always [00:37:00] like a good example is Chris is like, it's wintertime, I'm going into bear mode. And for Chris, bear mode is eating even more than I thought humanly possible beyond what he was already eating, which was beyond humanly possible. But that means that he's bulking. And that means that when I'm downstairs doing my workout, too, I very likely will hear up.

[00:37:37] And he's like, no, he's like, I'm going to go bench press now. But we're still there and it's look how extreme I am and look how extreme I am and yeah It really is just the calibrating all the time Like we're already planning like January is always our reset wake up month. We call it. We always do a dry annuary We always do a [00:38:00] let's like eat as lean and clean as possible remind ourselves Why we're choosing this path again because we all know the holidays are very intense no matter who you are and there's always You're always going to enjoy the holidays.

[00:38:29] And that happens probably bi weekly. Yeah.

[00:38:52] But in those cases, I'll try and arrange it when she's going to do it, you know, and if she is fasting, well, I've, you know, I've done it a number of [00:39:00] times, so I do know what it's like and I try to support her. And

[00:39:12] Kat: That's a good communication line. Letting them know. Hey, you're not pleasant

[00:39:19] Susan: Have some more tea. Go away.

[00:39:25] Chris: despite all this eating. I'm still not a big guy, right? So that's just my genetics. So, yeah.

[00:39:39] Steph: in maintenance?

[00:40:18] He's set up for MRT. So again, it's kind of the accountability Uh, to push yourself because you've already vocalized something to the other person. Um, I think for me anyway, that's beneficial. And then the same way, like if we're both doing MRTs, we get done about the same time. Um. You know, it's, it's nice to have a high five at the end from him, um, or if he is seeing that, you know, I'm close to needing the defibrillator on the wall, then,

[00:40:53] Susan: make sure and let me know, Hey, you did a good job.

[00:41:01] Steph: or something. Yeah,

[00:41:20] And, um, so yeah, I mean, that, that's that for me anyway, that initial weight goal for, for weight loss is still out there. Um, I want to go into O. S. M. Um, but my body fat just really isn't down to where it needs to be. And I understand that physiology that the doctorate kind of outlines. And so, you know, that that first initial goal is still out there.

[00:42:08] Um, so that's really what it is more for us. It's really kind of recalibrating, you know, in those cases. Um, but yeah, we're in it together. And so it's, you know, we're both still, uh, in FF30X and FM30X really. So both in phase four. And so, yeah, we're, we're following the program together, uh, every step of the way, every day.

[00:42:35] Kat: know this is like a loaded question, but I have to ask it. So if you for the

[00:42:40] Kat: who are listening or even just like friends who are doing this together, right? So their partner who have their

[00:42:49] Kat: Why would be like the tips that you would give them like now looking back maybe things you've learned from doing this alongside a partner What would be those tips that you would share with someone going into [00:43:00] this?

[00:43:02] Steph: I'll let you guys pick who goes first on this one. I think, well, I'm gonna share what worked for me. Sorry just to be the first one to jump in, but because I had to go all in or nothing and plan it all out. Writing that mission statement right at day one and I'm gonna the the psychology behind it and the emotions that I let myself feel by writing it and then Sharing it with Chris afterwards and that was probably the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my entire life And it was so freeing To let myself feel that vulnerable to be able to have this little workbook that let me tell him why I felt so broken and why I had let myself get so lost.

[00:44:07] So, be vulnerable. It's terrifying. It's absolutely terrifying. Take the dive. Take the risk and the world is your oyster after that.

[00:44:36] You have to have forgiveness of yourself. Um, I've learned to forgive myself. I've learned that, um, sometimes the big mountains were created mentally. And once I gave myself permission to do those, um, And then was able to do them, [00:45:00] then pretty soon it was like, wow, that wasn't that big a deal. And I, I really have myself worked up, like going into a new phase would almost shut me down because, um, I was like, I can't do another workout.

[00:45:46] Up in the trees, literally. Um, and you're like stepping on posts and swinging on things. And I, you know, one time I, I missed and it, and I [00:46:00] dropped and, you know, but it was kind of like, now you can either cave. And be done, or you can laugh about it and pull yourself up because otherwise you're going to hang there.

[00:46:20] Mark: choice, you know? And that's, that's to me, that is, is about, is all about doing it with someone. Um, you know, spouse, partner, friend, whatever. Um, it's it's getting each other through the program.

[00:47:15] I was getting ready for Ragnar, and so I enrolled myself in a 10k that was here in town, and she's like, you know what, I can do that, and I'm like, honey, you haven't, you haven't jogged anywhere, what, why do you think you can just go out and do a 10k? Because I climbed

[00:47:32] Mark: Yeah, she, she was down there running up these trails and stuff in Sedona, and so I'm like, alright, I'll sign you up, and we did, we did this 10k together.

[00:47:56] Chris: The having the confidence in each other is, is a [00:48:00] good way of looking at it.

[00:48:26] So my oldest and I just went up there. Steph had no problem with the idea that we were going to do that. Uh, you know, and the stories I told her when we got back, like the, the, those slopes were actually. Deceptively steep, like, like really dangerously steep at the top to the point where I can't believe people haven't died on that.

[00:49:14] Uh, whatsoever, other than the fear of heights and the fact that it was really sketchy and, and like the ground was gravelly and loose and everything. And I'm like, but yeah, other than that,

[00:49:30] Susan: He could have died.

[00:49:33] Susan: Oh,

[00:49:37] Chris: Yeah, I should have probably left her in the dark. Actually, while we were up there, I said, we were on a plateau piece of it, and I looked at Devin and I said, if your mom knew how bad it was up here, she would kill

[00:49:57] Right? Because just by proxy of being [00:50:00] In this house and eating the nutrition that we do, our kids are getting the benefits from it as well. And for an 11 year old to have been able to climb what he did is profound. And in fact, you can always tell when soccer season is approaching for him because he's like, I need to start running again.

[00:50:21] Chris: deadlifted 90 pounds.

[00:50:33] And it wasn't any discredit to our parents or anything growing up. It was just a different lifestyle. But these, these children are set up for a lifetime of success just by watching what we do. And that's. It's terrifying and powerful at the same time, too, because you don't realize the impact you're having.

[00:51:04] at the house. So when they start to get a little older, like I'm guessing that Devin, once he gets into his, more into his teens, he's, I suspect that just because it's here and he's been exposed to it so much that he's going to say, you know, like, I'm going to, I'm going to get into this and he'll probably be able to stick to it more, better than I was able to when I was a teenager.

[00:51:31] Kat: absolutely. I feel that so much, too, when you talk about, like, kids, and then, Susan, when you mentioned, like, being at the gym, right, and being a little uncomfortable at first, and you were saying you, like, kind of hide in a corner, for all of the women out there, Who are showing up and going to the gym and saying, this is my gym.

[00:52:13] And it's so wonderful as partners, like you and Mark can be there together and they're getting to see like, Oh, You know, men and women working together and these exercise routines, and that is going to be powerful for generations, whether it's kids watching their parents or it's kids coming into the gym for the first time and seeing men and women together, working out and sharing and fun, the fun of fitness, right?

[00:52:41] Susan: I'm so grateful.

[00:52:56] Like I mentioned, they are in the Brotherhood and Sisterhood so you can reach out [00:53:00] to them there or you can send us an email at support at fitfatherproject or support at fitmotherproject. com And we will get you in contact and send your wonderful notes their way so that you can hear and talk with them and interact, check us out on YouTube.

[00:53:23] Dr. A: Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the fit father project podcast. If you love what you heard, please rate and review our podcast on apple podcasts. It really helps spread this show to more men who need this valuable info to watch full video episodes of this podcast and other motivational videos to inspire your training and more.

[00:54:02] Then visit fitfatherproject. com, where you can see our proven programs, supplement line for guys 40 plus, and free meal plan and workouts to get you started. This is Dr. Anthony Balduzzi signing off. I'll see you in the next episode.