Your brain is juggling a million things at once. 

From keeping up with work deadlines to remembering to change and get to your exercise class by 5, the mental notes never seem to stop.

You’re managing the household, the family calendar and being the one who remembers everyone’s birthdays.  

Then someone asks, "What's wrong?" and you just don't know where to begin! 

That's the invisible load at work - the mental and emotional labour involved in managing all the unseen tasks that keep life running smoothly.

This mental clutter is more common than you'd think. It’s a load that often falls heavily on women, particularly those balancing family and career, serving as both the managers and caregivers of their worlds. 

Today, we’re exploring what the invisible load really is, how to recognise it in your life, and practical strategies you can implement to reduce the mental burden. We’ll discuss the importance of embracing joy and rest, as well as reconnecting with hobbies that used to bring you joy - all without the guilt. 

As our world gets busier, people are continuing to find new and innovative ways to lighten their invisible loads. What’s one thing you can do today that helps you take better care of yourself, lighten that load, and live your best, balanced life?

LINKS:

Connect with Me: 

Website: www.balanceathand.com 

Instagram:  @balance_at_hand

Today, we're going to explore exactly what the invisible load is and why it's more common than you think. And how to lighten it. This load is often carried by women, especially those juggling family and career. And it's something we need to acknowledge and manage. Let's start by defining what we mean by the invisible load or mental clutter.

It's essentially the mental and emotional labor involved in managing all the unseen tasks that keep life running smoothly.

It's the running list in your head, remembering birthdays, managing household chores, keeping up with appointments and planning meals. And it's often invisible because these tasks aren't formally recognized.

They're things you do naturally or out of habit, and they're rarely noticed by others, but they can add up fast. Studies have found that women, especially mothers, often carry the bulk of the mental load, even in households where chores are split up more evenly. They act as the managers of the household, constantly planning, anticipating needs and remembering details.

It's exhausting because it's not just about you, it's about maintaining everyone else's well being too. Physical load is the actual doing. The cooking, the cleaning, the scheduling. It's easy to think that the physical load is the biggest, but often it's the constant mental and emotional demands that weigh us down the most. The thing is, most people won't notice the invisible load unless they're carrying it too, and that's also why it can feel so isolating. Carrying the invisible load can have a serious impact on your mental and physical well being.

Emotionally, it can create feelings of resentment, particularly if others around you don't recognize or appreciate what you're doing. You might start thinking, why do I have to remember everything? Why isn't anyone else stepping up? This emotional toll is real and can lead to burnout just as much as physical overwork.

However, let's not forget the impact on physical health. Chronic stress from mental overload is linked to everything from sleep disorders to heart disease.

Okay, we know the invisible load is heavy, but the good news is we can take steps to reduce it. Here are some strategies to help lighten that mental burden.

If you're the one always remembering the dentist appointments, school events, and bill payments, it's time to ask for help

The key here is communication. Explain to your partner, family, or colleagues how the mental load is affecting you and start sharing the responsibility. In fact, Research from Gender and Society shows that couples who share the mental load report higher relationship satisfaction and lower stress levels. But this will take time for both yourself and the other party.

When you are used to being the one who does everything, it can be hard to let go. the other party, there is also a high chance that they will boomerang the mental load back to you. Sure, no worries. I can do that. Just remind me and boom, the task is delegated back in your lap. It's taken me time to go, no, my mental load is at capacity.

At this point, I always recommend a brain dump, getting things out of your head and onto paper. You can just write it down. We'll have a listen to episode 12 of the keeping balance at hand podcast, where we saw everything into key life categories and prioritize. This technique significantly helps me with my mental load.

Technology can also be a fantastic ally in reducing the invisible load. Use shared calendars, task management apps, or reminders to help offload some of those mental tasks. The key is making sure these tasks are visible to everyone. So it's not just you managing them. By using these tools, you can make responsibilities more tangible and collaborative.

Does it bring value to my life? If the answer is no, let it go. And this can be the hardest part, especially if you're used to being the one who keeps everything together. But studies have shown that letting go of non essential tasks can significantly reduce feelings of overwhelm. Now that we've talked about strategies to lighten the invisible load, let's discuss what often goes missing first when life gets overwhelming.

Joy and rest. These are the very things that sustain us. Yet, when we're weighed down by all the to do lists, responsibilities, and mental clutter, they're the first to disappear. Think about it. When was the last time you did something purely for fun? Something that brought you joy without any expectations or tasks attached to it?

For many of us, especially as adults with so many responsibilities, the answer might be, I don't remember. But here's the thing, when joy and rest go, it's hard to get them back. And that's because we're so used to functioning in this go, go, go mode that even taking time just to enjoy ourselves feels indulgent or even guilty.

I want you to think back to what you used to do for fun. Did you read books, but now you can't remember the last time you sat down with one? Maybe you loved going to the cinema, but it feels impossible to find time. Did you enjoy visiting parks, museums, galleries? Maybe you used to paint. right or even garden, but somewhere along the way, those activities got lost in the shuffle of daily life. A survey from the American Psychological Association found that one of the top reasons people feel overwhelmed is because they sacrifice personal leisure time to keep up with obligations.

They are essential to your wellbeing. And that's why we're here to live life. And the same goes for rest. I can't tell you how often I hear people say they don't have time for it, but resting doesn't mean lying in bed for a full day. Even though I might like to do that rest can be smaller intentional moments throughout your day where you allow yourself to breathe, to pause, and to just be.

Here's the challenge. When we're carrying the invisible load, even resting feels hard. We've trained ourselves to think if we're not doing something productive, we're wasting time. And this is a burden I face every day. but the reality is, when you don't make time for rest, your body and mind will eventually force you to rest, often through burnout, which we explored last episode, illness or exhaustion.

And let's face it, finding joy can feel like hard work when you're buried under responsibilities. It might even feel a bit indulgent, but it's critical. So ask yourself, what did you love doing that you've stopped? What activities did you used to do that you would lose track of time in a good way?

When did you last just sit in nature or at a cafe and enjoy some people watching? Maybe it's time to dust off that bike in the garage, pull out the craft project you haven't touched in years, or make plans to finally visit the gallery you've been meaning to go to. If it feels too overwhelming to dive right back in, start small.

I've avoided getting back into painting because it's messy and a pain to unpack and clean up and pack. And then a mentor said to me, don't pack it up. Leave it out on the table and do some every day. So, what they were saying to me, aside from really testing me. because I don't like leaving mess around, was look at the task differently, find a space, and give yourself permission to make a mess and live with it.

Research shows that connecting with leisure activities that bring joy is associated with lower levels of stress, improved mental health, and increased life satisfaction. These activities help you reset, recharge, and bring more energy and creativity to other areas of your life.

Rest is not a reward. You don't have to earn it.

So today, as we wrap up, I encourage you to reflect on the invisible load you're carrying. Take a moment to write down everything that's on your mind. If the list feels overwhelming, there's a sign you may be doing too much, and it's time to stop some tasks, or it's time to start sharing the load. The invisible load affects so many of us, but the first step in breaking down its impact is to recognise whether you're carrying it.

This load is more common than most people realize, And people are continuing to come up with new and innovative ways of taking this load off their shoulders. this is a conversation that should be kept going. So I'd love to hear the strategies you have implemented to shift your invisible load. Until next time, take care of yourself, lighten that load and live your best balanced life. [00:13:00]