Throughout their conversation, Melanie and Kristen highlight the importance of community in the healing process. They discuss how sharing our stories creates bonds that remind us we are not alone in our struggles. Melanie's insights remind us that while loss can feel isolating, it also opens the door to connection and support. By serving others and sharing our journeys, we not only heal ourselves but also uplift those around us. The episode concludes with a hopeful message: embracing our stories, no matter how painful, can lead to empowerment, purpose, and the ability to triumph over adversity.

Takeaways:

• Walking through loss can lead to finding purpose and joy in serving others.
• Gratitude journaling can help rewire your brain and shift your perspective on life.
• Sharing your story can inspire others and create a sense of community and hope.
• Finding purpose in tragedy can lessen the pain and help you heal over time.
• You can overcome grief by setting goals and focusing on service to others.
• The act of writing and sharing personal experiences can be a powerful healing tool.
• Connect with Melanie at triumphpress.com

Download the Free Joyful Living Devotional Journal: https://kristinfitch.com/devotional

Download the Free Reignite Your Passion Workbook https://kristinfitch.com/passion

Ready to Reclaim Your Life? Purchase the Reclaim Your Life Masterclass: Protect Your Spirit, Space and Pace for only $47 Learn more here.

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#findingpurpose #lossrecovery #lossingachild #faith #Christianparents #servingothers #findingcommunity

Hey, hey, beautiful friends, and welcome back to faith fueled woman.

This is your host, Kristen.

Today I have a great guest interview for you.

We are going to talk about walking through loss, and we're going to talk about when we get on the other side of a hard season, on the other side of loss or a difficult time.

How can we turn that pain into purpose?

How can we do something good out of hard or bad or difficult things.

That we walk through?

So I think you're going to get.

A lot out of this episode and this guest, and I can't wait to.

Share it with you.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Woman, a podcast designed for christian women eager to deepen their faith and shine God's light in every aspect of their lives.

Each week, we'll delve into practical strategies, inspiring stories and biblical wisdom to equip you with the tools you need to navigate life's challenges and grow deeper in your faith.

From finding calm in the chaos, forming deep christian friendships, to everyday ways to connect with God.

We'll cover it all.

Hi, I'm your host, Kristen.

I'm an encourager, a faith led entrepreneur, a mom and a wife.

Let's be encouraged in our everyday lives as we let our faith guide us, fuel us, and fill us with God's incredible peace, wisdom and joy in our lives.

Hi, welcome to the show.

I would like to welcome our guest, Melanie Davis.

She is the founder of Triumph Press.

She's also an author, and she is the host of triumph Talks.

And her journey starts, actually, with what's happened to her.

I'm sorry.

After her daughter passed away at the age of seven months from sids, she found healing and purpose by sharing her story with others.

And she's just done so much since then, both helping people walk through grief and loss.

She helps people understand how being in service to others really can put purpose into our lives and into what we walk through.

And then she's helping so many other people do the same.

So I can't wait for this conversation today.

Whether you're somebody that's we're all walking through a loss or grief right now, or you have in the past, or whether you're just feeling a little aimless or hopeless, I promise you this conversation is going to help uplift you and give you just some direction for the future that might be some next steps you can take.

So, Melanie, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much.

I'm really happy to be here.

Yes.

First of all, I just want to say, and I'm sure the audience exists as well.

Thank you.

For, you know, being one of those people that is just brave to share your story, and you just keep stepping into everything that God is unfolding for you in your life.

And, you know, it's easier said than done.

When we first do that, you know, you're not sure, and you continue to do that.

So I can't wait to kind of share that journey with the audience today.

Can you first just share with us just a little bit from your perspective, you know, about life and about what you've walked through and then what you're doing now?

Okay, well, I guess I'll just give a little bit of background so people kind of understand where I got this.

Kind of.

Everything I'm doing now is definitely the purpose that I have found in my loss.

So, it's been 22 years ago as of last February, that my daughter, Brynn passed away of sids during the night.

And I am a journal writer.

I'm a writer, you know, but I love to keep journals.

Highly recommend it, which is probably a whole other topic I could talk about, but I have it.

I have five children, and Bryn was my third.

And so, with each child, I started this habit with my first one.

And that is that when I got an ultrasound and found out if I was a girl or boy, I'd go and buy a journal, and I would start writing in the journal, and I would take it with me to the hospital and write a mother's first message to her child.

And with some of my children, I actually was able to have the little footprints put in the journal.

Had it right there, you know, in the birthday.

Yeah.

And so when Bryn was born, I wrote in my journal, and what I found was that when I go back and reread it, I repeat often how she was just so unique.

I would hold her, and I would just say, you're so sweet.

It's hard to explain because I had two other children.

I loved them, and they're precious.

There's just something about her, and I just felt it.

And it's one of those things when you look back, you can say, oh, well, I truly believe that some children don't have to come and stay long in this wicked world.

And they serve.

They serve a purpose.

And her life and her death has really served a purpose.

So she never slept.

Seems like I was always tired.

I could not get her to take naps or sleep much.

And she never cried, so.

And again, I think that this is just speculation, but I sort of feel like maybe she knew she didn't have long, and so she was just living, all of it.

And so when she passed away, I found her at five in the morning.

And she'd had a fever, but they called it sids because they couldn't pinpoint what killed her specifically.

But she did have a fever and she'd already passed away, but she was still just burning.

And I picked up my journal after she passed away.

And I wrote all that.

I went through what it was like finding her in our crib and running into the light and seeing, you know, this is not right.

The ambulance ride, praying that she'd make it, but knowing she's really kind of knowing she's already gone.

We had to go to a police station afterwards.

And they weren't mean, but it was just protocol.

When there's a death in a home, then they have to make sure it's not, you know, any foul play.

And I just remember sitting in this interrogation room, you know, just like, in shock, because suddenly I went from the mother of three wonderful babies to my son was five, and my daughter was two.

And then Bryn was seven months to.

Now I'm a bereaved mother all of a sudden.

And, you know, it's not like she was sick.

And I had time to get used to the idea.

So anybody who's had a sudden death of any kind will know that's just the shock alone.

But I just wrote in my journal all these experiences.

And many months later, I picked up that journal again and let me back up and just say, in the journal, I wrote, well, I felt like.

Just put me in a dark room, you know, just locked me away.

I am done.

I couldn't imagine getting past that.

But I have to say that on the day that she died, I also had a powerful sense of purpose.

And I ended up taking my other two children to the park later that day.

And I remember pushing my two and a half year old daughter on the swing and smiling.

And I thought.

I remembered the thought.

I thought, how could I be smiling on such a day?

All I can say is I felt purposeful and I felt comforted.

So many months later, I picked up my journal and I wrote all that I'd learned.

Because if you'd asked me how I'd feel about losing a child, I would have just been like, I can't fathom it.

And I still can't fathom losing any of my current children, even though I've been through it.

But I found out that I could get through a mother's worst nightmare.

And I can say that I know that God lives because there's no way I got through it the way that I did without him.

And I felt him.

I really had some very sacred experiences on the day she died and ride around there, where it's hard to explain, but I felt like a physical comfort.

It was very brief, but it was real.

And I've never felt something like that before since.

So I wrote the journal with my children and posterity and mind.

And so I wanted them to know not just about Bryn, but that they're going to face something hard, and they can get through it.

You know, it was my way of bearing my testimony.

And so I really had an audience in mind.

Many a few years later.

Well, after, as time went by, what happened is I would have people come to me, and they would ask me how I got through it, because they have a sister or brother or somebody who lost a child.

And what I had done in the meantime is I'd taken all of my writing from my journal and all the pictures of Bryn and put them together in something.

People are familiar with it now.

We call it storybooks.

They're these glossy, printed picture books that you could actually put words in.

Well, I actually, back in the day, you know.

So it's been 20 years ago.

I don't know, maybe a little.

Not quite that long ago, but I was actually one of the first executives of a company that actually invented the process, and that made it possible for you to mix your pictures and your stories into a printed book.

So I was involved in that.

That's kind of my first publisher iteration.

I'm now a publisher, as you read.

So I ended up putting all of this together in a book.

So when people would ask me how I got through it or what could they do to help their loved one, I would print a copy of this book, and I'd hand it to them, and I'd say, well, just have them read my story.

There might be something in there that will help them.

Just sharing my wisdom.

And the more I shared my story, I printed about 100 copies of that book.

And I hope that I worked for the company.

And that's a whole story why I joined them, just because it was so healing to share my story that I wanted.

It was one of those MLM companies, you know, kind of like, what was that?

Creative something.

Remember when everybody's into scrapbooking?

Yes, I remember what you're talking about.

I can't think of a name either.

But, yes, it was so big, like 15 years ago.

But I feel like I kind of was shown or I discovered a new form.

A new, ancient form.

I'm gonna put those two words together of therapy.

And I say that because we've been writing and preserving memories since the dawn of time.

You know, they would carve it on cave walls and totem poles and, you know, wherever they could put it on their bodies like a tattoo.

Those are stories.

But when I say it's a modern way, I mean that we can actually, because of the technology we have today, we can take our stories and we can share them with each other in a more mass way, you know, through books.

And even what we're doing right now is a way to share the story.

And so the more we share with each other, the more we heal.

And so I don't want to take too long, but.

But the short of it, really is that I ended up writing a workbook to help people process their loss based on the process I used.

And I ran bereavement groups, and that workbook was called storybooks for healing.

And I would lead them to be able to make their own book.

And then I would say to the group, I would say, you can overcome grief.

But I always had a bereavement counselor with me, because I'm not a counselor.

I'm just a bereaved mother who has solutions.

And the bereavement counselors would always pull me aside when I said that I ran many groups, and they'd say, oh, don't say that.

We're not sure it's possible.

And they'd give me all the catchphrases, like, oh, in time, you'll find a new normal, and there's no timeline for grief.

And I got it from every counselor, told me the same catchphrases.

So I'm sure that somehow this is part of their training, right.

And I'm sure it's a knee jerk reaction to people being pushed through grief too soon.

I understand that.

But my response was, well, that's really setting the bar low.

You're really not giving people hope.

And when I say, you can overcome grief, it's how I define it, which is to say that you can feel joy and you can smile, and you can keep going.

You know, you can live.

You don't have to feel so hurt and depressed and stuck.

That's what I mean by overcoming grief, and I think we need to tell people that.

Right.

So, my solution to that was to write this book that's over here that you've probably read.

It's called the Triumph book, and it's a collection of 20 stories from people who've endured severe tragedies that found purpose, enjoying life because of what they went through.

And they're not all death lost stories.

They're all kinds of tragedies.

And there's a veteran story.

There's a story of a man whose wife died of AIDS because of a blood transfusion, and he lost all his children because it happened before she gave birth to them.

There's a story of a mother whose daughter was kidnapped, raped, and murdered.

And as I was working with her to get the story in the book, they had finally found the criminal murderer, and he had just barely told her where the body was.

And what's amazing about that story is that it's a story of forgiveness.

That's what you learn in her story.

All the stories are really hard to read, I'll be honest.

But if you push through them, they all bring you so high because.

And you walk away from the book going, oh, if they could get through that.

One mother had her son shoot and kill all her children at the breakfast table, and.

And her husband got shot, too, although he lived.

All the children, I mean, just crazy, hard tragedies.

But.

But they all bring you up because every single one of them found an amazing way to serve others and to give back because of what they went through.

So that's kind of the starting of what I was doing, because of her back.

Yeah.

No, thank you for sharing that.

And that definitely gives a lot of context.

And so let's talk about what you just shared, which was, I guess, two things.

One is, you know, you talked about, you've done the bereavement groups, and you've done, you know, maybe caught in workshops, and then, of course, you have this process that you help other people that are walking through grief or loss realize that writing or journaling, one can be such a therapeutic or healing tool.

So why don't we touch on that?

But then also what you said, which is in the pain, in grief, we can often, if we find purpose, we can actually, like you said, discover so many other things, right?

Like joy.

Again, we can discover that in helping others, it brings something to us.

Right.

And so we can stop this richness in our lives, even if something very hard or tragic or horrible has happened to us.

So maybe let's just start on some of those topics and kind of have a conversation around that.

Yeah, absolutely.

So what would you first share with us?

So the writing process, you know, I think that it's not a new idea that writing is therapeutic and journaling is therapeutic.

It really is.

And we need to not be so busy.

You know, I think the problem is we're so busy, we just need to take the time to do that.

The.

I think the place where I sort of bring it up to another level of therapy, if you will, is to say, okay, write it out.

That's important, but turn it into something useful for other people.

I really believe, like my.

I changed the name of my program from storybooks for healing, which was completely bereavement to something I now call the Triumph program.

And the reason I did that is when I was working with bereavement and I published this book over here, then I enjoyed the process so much that, well, I'm going to do another book.

I just really liked it.

And I started my company, Triumph Press, so that I could publish my own book and have creative control, because the COVID actually is meaningful.

It's a picture of somebody standing on a winner's platform, holding.

It's a silhouette of a book in his hands, and it's a male figure, but it's most supposed to represent us all, and we're standing in that.

Our story is the greatest gift that we have to give to the world.

I really do believe that, because when we die, our stories remain, and all our wisdom can reach out to our.

And who knows how far your wisdom will go?

I really believe in that.

So I actually.

I wrote another book.

And you can see, I just talked about that silhouette, and you can see there's a silhouette on this book.

Now, this is.

This is a marine, actually, who posed for me, but he's representing our veterans.

And so it's the same concept.

Yeah.

He's standing there holding the book above his head.

So this is.

I think I had 27 stories in this one, and these are all first person stories from veterans.

I just wrote the book because I love our veterans, and I wanted to create more patriotism, because who loves our country more than those who are willing to die for it?

But as I wrote the book, I found out that I'd been an ignorant civilian, and I had no idea the battles our veterans face when they come home from war.

So I shifted my focus, and I will say God shifted my focus from bereavement.

I thought that was the reason my daughter died.

I was like, I'm here to help the bereaved.

You know, I have a bereavement program.

This is what I do.

But what I ended up doing was writing a version of this workbook for veterans to help them with their traumas.

And so now it's called the Triumph program.

And the tagline is discover, write and share your triumph stories.

So the process is discovering it, first of all, which it's, you know, you discover when you write, and you discover when you Gratitude journal.

You just.

There's a lot that you reveal to yourself.

I always like to say, the pen is in your hand, but God will give you what to write.

So you can literally be writing God's message and inspiration to you.

And that's why you should write.

So you discover, you write it, but when you share it, that's that next step.

And I'm telling you, you can stop with just the journaling and you'll get a lot from it.

But when you take the next step and you actually share your story, and when people come to you and they say, thank you, you changed my life.

Every time I shared that book about my daughter's story, or now I share this book, and I give this book free, by the way.

You can get this ebook on my website for free.

I just want people to be able to read those stories.

But every time, and I still.

It's like, okay, I have healing.

I have healing because I know that my daughter's life, it's like she's still alive.

I was able to keep her living because I could tell the story and I can help, and it can affect other people because of that process.

It's beautiful.

Yeah.

I think you're so right.

I've definitely.

I've journaled, of course, and written some, but I've talked to many people who have used journaling in such therapeutic ways for many different reasons.

And I think it's also important, as you said, obviously, to get through something, writing and journaling and the sharing.

Right.

The process you just shared is so powerful.

But even my dad has Parkinson's pretty far along.

He's 82, and he also has some cognitive decline.

And he, years ago, a couple years ago, he said, oh, I want to write a book.

Well, I tried to get him to stuff so that what he was going through, he wasn't quite as physically and cognitively.

So it could be like a handbook to help people who are just starting on that.

No, he was going to share, like, stories of things that mattered to him in life and about his face, it was going to be more about.

The point is, by the time I tried to say, oh, well, here's a microphone, here's the thing.

It was just getting to the point where he really couldn't do it really, really well.

But so recently, we just talked again, and I said, dad, like, your whole family will help you write.

Now, it might not be a long format book.

It might be more like short stories and devotionals.

But I said, you just have to, because he can use his video, I mean, his audio reporter.

So just write down the concepts, and then we'll.

We'll help you.

But I think he's seeing, right, that he wished he had done that, and I wish he would have, too, before.

It's going to be really hard to help him get it down, or some of it down.

And I only say that to share that.

A lot of us, I think, until maybe we get quite older, think I don't.

I don't have anything to share or I don't know what I'd share or maybe one day when I'm retired.

But I think the point, even in my dad's story, is that, you know, now it's.

I don't say it's too late, but it's too late for him to do it easily.

And so, you know, I would just encourage all of us to your point, write down memories, write down things that you think you're gonna remember or that you might want to share with your grandkids or.

But do it along the way.

And so I would just even tell you from his perspective.

I think now he's wishing he had done it sooner before.

In his case, it was.

It's a lot harder.

Right.

He has such fears, and it doesn't mean he can't do it.

It just means.

Yeah, definitely still make it happen.

I just last.

When did I do it?

Just last spring.

I worked with my parents for about eight months, and I published a book for them titled our blessings and miracles.

And they just went back.

It's divided into two sections.

My mom's section, my dad's section.

And they just told miracles and experiences they've had throughout their life.

What's nice about that book is it's under that theme, so it kind of helped them go, okay, well, here's a miracle.

And here's a miracle.

And here's a miracle.

And you know this.

And it allowed some of the really important from their lives to be collected with that purpose.

And then we printed copies of it, and we had a family reunion.

We just handed out copies to everybody.

And my mom wrote about each child, a miracle that had to do with each child because, you know, she's a mom, so she's gonna do that.

So we kind of had this.

It was almost like a yearbook signing party.

Everybody signed each other's books.

It was so special.

It is so special.

I love that.

So I love that you shared that, even about your parents.

Okay, so that's the first thing, right.

Is like, why we really should share our stories, whatever it is.

I mean, for some people, it's not about loss or tragedy, but it's something you walk through, right?

Maybe something's happened in your past, like a trauma, like a physical or personal trauma.

I mean, there can be so many reasons why, once again, if we go through something and as we're healing, when we share that enough safe spaces and all that kind of thing, but, you know, it can be so powerful.

So that's amazing advice.

What about onto the next thing, which is basically, what about gratitude?

You know, having a practice of gratitude and learning to step into serving others, if maybe that's something we haven't done, or maybe we've done it, but maybe not in the way that you're encouraging people to do.

Yeah, well, so those are kind of two things.

The gratitude element.

So in the triumph program, I'm not trying to sell it here, but just kind of let people know.

So it's an eight week.

It's an eight section.

Some of the sections we spend more time in, I actually ended up going.

I didn't.

Another path direction that I wouldn't never have thought of God has been guiding is I created this version of the Triumph program for veterans.

Well, someone who works with incarcerated veterans came across it and said, oh, you know, our veterans in prison, they don't have any program and they need help with their trauma.

In fact, I now know that one in three veterans is justice involved.

That's a huge rate.

So we all, hopefully, we're talking about the veteran suicide rate.

But what we don't realize is that sometimes it's not suicide, it's getting in trouble with all kinds of trauma can just lead to all kinds of potential crimes that they go to prison for.

So I actually ended up going into the prisons here in Texas and working with incarcerated veterans and helping them to go through this.

So it was a two month program.

I'd meet with them once a week and very effective.

I really love doing it.

I got some awards for my work, but one of the sections in the workbook is about is, is, I think that section titled basically they're gratitude journaling.

So the workbook is, they work during the week on their own in the workbook, and they come together in small peer groups and they share their work, which helps you to really get a chance to not only do it on your own, but to get to have that sharing element of healing.

And so gratitude journaling is really important.

They have done a lot of research on it, and you can actually rewire your brain through gratitude journaling, and you can change your memories.

So memories that are bad, and when you gratitude journaling, you can actually get to a point where you see them differently and they stop being so traumatic.

So there's a really good reason why gratitude journaling is actually part of this process, and I'm a huge proponent of it.

It can change your perspective.

It can change your life instantly.

And it should be a habit.

We should just, you know, go buy yourself a pretty journal or, you know, for the ladies and men, just get something leather bound or whatever, you know, and sit and take ten minutes a day at the end of the day, or even the start of the day, and just write down things you're grateful for.

And sometimes they'll be repetitive.

And that's what these, the veterans or the people in my program go through.

It's just for one week.

They have to journal every single day.

And you need to do something for about 30 days before it truly becomes a habit.

But at least it exposes them to that habit.

Yeah, absolutely.

Even people close to me who have walked through struggled with depression and things like that, you know, I would ask them, you know, what?

What's something that you are thankful for?

And even if you could come up with not much, it might be it's the dog, every day, it's the dog that I can hug or, you know what I'm saying?

So I think it's one of those things where whatever you're going through, and I absolutely practice it.

And a lot of times I even practice, you know, I say microgratitude, because just throughout the entire day, I'm just having a dialogue, you know, about what I'm thankful for.

So even if you're not going to start with journaling, which I think journaling is great because you can go back and also see, right.

It shows you patterns and it shows you progress.

Starting on your lunch break, starting when you take a walk, right.

Starting when you're brushing your teeth.

So even if you're like, I'm just not going to dirt on not there yet, that's okay.

You just start by being thankful and grateful and say it out loud.

Loud.

Or just say it in your mind.

I'm just so thankful today for.

And just, even if it's the tiniest thing, to your point, it starts shifting what we're focusing on, it starts shifting uh, how we.

Our perception.

Right.

Of things.

And you're so right.

I mean, I've definitely talked to people where it's from victim thinking or.

Or stuck there to, you know, Victor, if you will, because, you know, we're starting to see your point.

Even in something hard or bad, there's all these people often around us or things in those.

In those what we've walked through, that there was good, too.

Right.

There was something good, even if the thing itself wasn't maybe, you know, good or great thing.

But.

So I love that you share that.

Yeah.

And when you're trying to write down things every day, then you start looking for the things to write down.

That's right.

And it just.

It just gives you that mindset all the time that you're looking for.

And the other thing, too, is over time, at first, people are just going to have to take our word for it, you know?

But when you're facing.

When you're in the midst of a tragedy, you may not be able to see any purpose or that it could ever be good.

But today, it's been, like I said, about 22 years since my daughter's passed away.

And I have been involved in so many different projects that I was led to because of what I did out of her death.

I've started a publishing company.

I've published a lot of really important books.

I published nonfiction and self help.

And it's mostly people who've been through tragedy, and I'm helping them share their stories.

I've published books that deal with human trafficking and parental alienation and World War Two, you know, history and just.

And getting to work with prisoners.

And I've been able to stand on this stage in the prisons and speak to every veteran in that unit and receive some awards.

But what I can say is honest.

In all honesty.

And, of course, this comes from my faith in God, my belief that I will see my daughter again and that her life and death had a purpose.

So I can say, in all honesty that I am grateful to be a SiDs mom.

I am grateful to have that in my life.

I can't go change it.

So, you know, there's no, like, well, if you could change it, you know, let's not talk about things that I couldn't do, but I am grateful to have that.

And I believe that anyone going through a tragedy, when you seek to.

To serve others, I mean, you might be like, I don't know how I'm ever going to make good out of it or how am I ever going to feel good about this?

Right.

Well, when you serve others, if you find a way, and that's the key.

In fact, the triumph program is based on two principles.

The first is the more purpose you find in tragedy, the less painful it becomes.

So if you want to stop hurting, if you are at a point where you're sick of hurting, because we all get to that point at some time, you got to find purpose.

And the second principle is there's powerful healing found in service to others.

That's it.

So if you're like, I don't know how I'm going to get through this, just serve someone.

Find a way to use what you've been through to help someone else.

And as you do that, you will heal.

You will heal until you do reach that point where you say, wow, I can't imagine not being able to have helped this person or that person.

And sometimes you really make a huge difference in people's eyes and sometimes you have no idea the difference you're making, but you're still making it, you know what I mean?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And I think I would just add to that that, you know, we all are here to serve people in different ways and they have different purpose.

And so, you know, someone shouldn't hear a conversation like this or another one and go, but I don't know that I can do the books or I don't know.

Right.

We're not saying yours has to be a certain size.

It could be helping one person, having one conversation at a time.

Right.

And so I just want to encourage people.

It's in every little moment.

It's in every conversation, right.

It's where you showed up, whether it's one person or in front of a group, it's, you know, so I just would encourage you.

It's the smart.

I agree with that, but I'm going to put a little butt in it.

And the reason why is because with this program that I use and it's really effective.

I have 300 surveys from all the prisoners I've worked with.

The.

But is this in the program?

It's an evolution.

We go from darkness to light.

So in the beginning we just write the tragedy, just write what happened, just like I did in my journal.

I just wrote what happened.

Then you deal with the loss and you write letters.

You can write a letter to your loved one who passed away or whatever it is for prisoners.

They might write a letter to someone they hurt.

Then we start to gratitude journal.

Then we have to believe we can overcome.

But what it is, it's a progression.

And what happens is we start to analyze and say, this is what I encourage people to do.

Analyze what you've been through and say, what is, what is the special wisdom and what is the special ability that I have because of my tragedy?

Because I'm telling you, everyone has an ability, if nothing else, just to be the person.

You speak about that tragedy because you've been there, and then you set goals.

You say, okay, this is what.

What do I want to do with it?

So I'm not saying just write a book.

That's, you know, that's not the answer I'm bringing out there.

Figure out what it is you want to do.

Set some goals.

So I guess, in other words, what I'm saying is look for opportunities to serve.

But if you are intentional about saying, what have I learned and who can I help?

There's something healing about setting goals and focusing on the goal that gets your mind off of the pain and onto the purpose, if that makes sense.

Absolutely.

No, it makes so much sense.

Well, yeah.

And to your point is the more you start to hone in.

Right.

The more you're going to hit the right people.

You're going to meet the right people.

Right.

And so.

And, yeah, I think when you have a positive goal, it's always going to pull you away from us slipping into something else.

Right.

Or feeling stark.

And that's all I'm trying to do, is get people unstuck from grief.

When I was working in bereavement, I did many groups before I shifted to veterans.

I don't do bereavement anymore.

I mean, I probably could, but veterans have become my focus and just helping people share their stories in publishing.

But I had people come to me who'd lost a baby or someone, a child or a friend, whatever, and for decades, they'd been going to groups, they'd had counseling sessions, they'd read books, and they would come to me and they say, this is the first thing I've done that actually helped me.

And it's because it's really activating them.

You know what I mean?

It's giving them a path to be on, to heal, rather than just not.

And I'm not dishing on the other things.

And they may work for some people, but the people I helped said this was the only thing that really helped them because it actually got them moving in that positive direction.

Yeah, I think you're sorry.

I was.

I was trying to find a book on my.

I can't see it right now, but there is a woman.

She was, she, I think she's in her nineties now, but she's a psychiatrist or psychologist.

She's written several books.

One is called twelve gifts or something like that.

But anyways, one of the, she was in the concentration camps in Germany and most her family passed, but she was like, I think she was like twelve or 15 or something.

She actually survived and then, you know, became later in life, became therapist of some sort and read these books.

But one of the things she says is you can spend your life going, why me?

Or you can switch the question to what now?

And so it's, what is your future?

Instead of to your point, it's not to say there's a timeline for tragedy or grief or loss, but at some point we want to start looking a little bit to the future and a little more to the future for whatever we've been through or whatever's happened to us instead of, to your point, staying stuck in, you know, this, this happened to me or this happened to my loved one.

And I think that I felt that was such a lovely way or question to switch it to, you know, because she can't help that she was in the concentration camp.

She can't change that, but she could then to look to our future and say, what do I want to do with it now?

What now?

And so I think part of that's the gratitude and part of it's understanding your story and then deciding what are your goals.

And so I just think that's sort of the point, like you said, only so much of delving into the past.

Right.

In other words, you need to do what you need to do, but at some point then you need to see.

You have to shift.

Yeah.

And that's the, and that's the problem I had, or I saw with bereavement industry, I'll call it that kind of is an industry.

And the problem was that they really do keep them so focused on the loss.

I think that's where my program was actually something really innovative and different within that field.

And I'm not saying that there aren't great books that encourage the same thing.

I'm not saying that at all.

I'm just saying that as far as the experts and the way that those people are, the groups that I saw, there's a lot of sharing that happens and that's good.

Unless you can get past the focus on the tragedy.

You are sort of helping each other, I think comforting each other.

It's important.

But there's just a stage where you need to be able to move into the.

What, like you said, what do I do with.

Yeah, absolutely.

So what else?

Just one I love.

You know, we talked about this already, but you're helping veterans and just helping other people that are really.

That are stuck.

Right.

In something they've gone through.

So is there any other just tidbits you want to share this on?

Maybe someone.

It could be a veteran or just someone else that maybe has had a big life transition or something's happened where they feel stuck.

Besides the processes that you take people through, is there anything else you've just noticed that seems to really help us get unstuck?

Right, so we can start stepping into something else?

Well, first of all, I think feeling stuck is part of the human experience.

I think we all.

We're all going to feel that way.

We've all felt that way, and we're all still going to feel that way.

I still feel stuck even, you know, I'm, you know, I'm sitting here, oh, I've done this, and I just, I got this award, you know, like, oh, my life is great.

Like, you know what?

I still feel so stuck sometimes because I have.

Have goals and I have bigger goals, and sometimes I just.

I feel like since this channel is a faith channel, you know, I really, truly believe that we are also dealing with a lot of spiritual warfare in our lives, and that can really get us down.

And so when we talk about being stuck, I think it's something we're all feeling just as we try to push through.

And so just being able to recognize what you're really dealing with and think is important because it's really easy to think, oh, I'm, you know, we start being hard on ourselves.

I think that's.

I'm hard on myself.

I suspect it's probably human nature.

I don't know how many people are just feeling great about themselves all the time.

I think we get a little too hard on ourselves, and that's when we can get the most stuck.

Only we keep ourselves stuck.

Really, it's up to us.

And we may feel very justified or we may be very motivated, which is kind of a funny word to use to be stuck.

That seems like an oxymoron, but by that, I just mean when we allow perceived failures in our lives to tell us, oh, you're not progressing, you're not reaching your goals, it's just sort of, I guess the flip side of me sitting here saying, set some goals, move forward, and guess what?

And I do I talk about this in the program, in the workbook, too, because what happens is when you set really big goals, you have to know that you're going to face opposition in the process.

It's just, I think it's spiritual warfare.

Usually, if you're setting positive goals to help and serve other people, you almost get more resistance to those goals because you could do so much good in the world.

And when you get resistance, sometimes it's easy to go, well, that must have been the wrong thing because it's not working.

Right.

I mean, don't we all kind of feel that way if something's not working?

Well, maybe it's wrong and we want to go back and totally re examine ourselves and totally re examine our identity.

Yeah, I guess.

I guess what I'm getting at is just to kind of give people a permission slip in a way, which is to say, when you feel like you have set worthy goals and you're not reaching them, I want you to know not to blame yourself, not to think that your goal was wrong because you're not achieving it.

I have certain goals that I set that I've been working towards, especially with veterans the whole time, and I'm not reached it.

You know, there's big things that I want to do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to get there, and.

But I have to just keep.

Keep fighting the good fight.

So just give yourself a pass when you feel that way and just go, okay, this is not the world holding you down.

This is you, and that's okay.

But don't.

Don't hold yourself down for too long.

So.

Yeah, absolutely.

You know that one of the things I got out of what you just said, you didn't say these words.

And that statement, although I know you.

Talk about this in your book.

Yeah.

Is that we all just need to have hope.

Right.

I mean, in other words, it's hope that you can do something, a bigger goal.

It's hope that you will have an impact in some way in the future.

Right.

It's a hope that the future can, you know, have some joy and it can have some, you know, so I think it's making sure.

I think that's true.

Having gratitude and it's all these other things that we can feel more hope or, of course, digging in on our faith.

Right.

And so, you know, I think that's one of the things that underlying what you just said, I heard, is we have to just have hope and know that that is above us, you know, thinking like, I didn't have a good day, or I didn't accomplish this thing or feel like I got knocked back six pegs, you know, or whatever it is, we just have to hope that tomorrow is a new day and there's a new opportunity for us to step into something.

Yeah.

And, you know, to that.

To that end, and this is right in the middle of the program, the Triumph program, you have to believe that you can do something in order to do it.

And the best way to believe something is possible is to get the inspiration from somebody else who did something hard.

It doesn't have to be the same thing you're trying to do.

But when you see that's what.

That's the purpose of the triumph program or the triumph book, and that's the purpose of the books that I'm publishing.

So, in other words, kind of to circle back to this idea of the healing that comes from sharing your story.

When you share your story of overcoming something, what you've done is you just gave hope to that person that will be exposed to your story that they can overcome what they're going through.

And I really believe this.

This is important.

You don't have to be another bereaved mother for me to affect you.

Right.

You can have a.

You can have a tragedy in your life that I've never experienced, but just to see you overcome something that I know is hard inspires me.

So, in other words, we can connect with people who don't have our tragedies, but just the universal experience of going through hard things and sharing our journey with each other is how we get hope.

It really is.

We have hope in Christ.

Of course, when it comes to the day to day, how do I get through life?

We get that hope from each other.

And that's why sharing our stories is really important.

Absolutely.

So that's the last thing I want to touch on is, you know, you kind of just said this, but, you know, you talk about somewhere in there, but you know that none of us are alone, right?

We're not alone even when we feel alone, or we might physically be alone in that moment, but, I mean, there's always people that we can look to or rely on or even you shared, just.

Even reading.

I absolutely feel that the same way.

Sometimes just listening to podcasts or reading a story make.

I mean, my whole.

I mean, I'm pretty person, you know.

I love podcasts for that.

I love YouTube.

I mean, but I feel so amped after I listen to it.

You know, we're so thankful or so, like, like you said, like, wow, like, they just took on so many things or, you know, they've overcome 50 things and.

Wow.

Right?

So what would you just add to that about we're not alone?

Because I think sometimes, right.

That's.

That's how you feel when you go through something hard or a loss or a tragedy or something's changed.

Like, you share in your book, the one gentleman that, you know, had the car accident and he became, I don't remember his paraplegic or what, but in a wheelchair, you know, but he could have decided to just stay home and be depressed and drink himself to death because he said he had an issue with that.

But instead he realized, like, this is a new opportunity, opportunity for me to change my life, you know?

But the point is, he didn't do it by himself.

Right.

Nor do any of us when we.

When we walk through every day.

Yeah, absolutely.

I.

You know, I really believe in community.

I really do.

I think that.

And I believe in unity.

I believe in Zion.

You know, I'm using that word a lot more lately because I'm a believer.

Because.

Because I believe that Christ is coming soon and that the best way to prepare is to become united in our hearts and to love one another.

Love is.

Love can abound in this world.

Love can heal every problem that we're all facing in this world.

And so we just have to really intentionally love each other and serve each other.

And if we don't like what's happening in our country or our world, and we wonder, what in the world do I do about it?

Just go.

Love, serve, connect.

Be a community.

And as we do that, it is.

There is power, literal power.

There's energy in it.

We become just this massive source of positivity, and that will change the world.

I really believe that.

And to that end, I started my YouTube channel, Triumph talks, not too long ago, and I really am doing it just like my publishing company and everything else.

I do it as a mission.

And my purpose is just to be able to let people share their stories and to create community and put some light and positivity, and I'll triumph.

Who's the ultimate triumph is Christ, of course.

But triumph comes out of tragedy.

You can't have triumph without tragedy.

So let's.

Let's share and let's lift each other.

And in that process, we don't feel so alone.

I love the platforms that we have.

I love your podcast.

I love this incredible ability that we have to now share with each other.

I mean, on.

On YouTube or other podcast channels, you can reach thousands tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands.

Some people reach millions of people with their message.

That is unheard of until recently.

And anybody can do it with a little effort.

I believe I do, too.

So just tell me, before we share where people can connect with you online and learn about your books and your channel, just one last question.

What would you say is fueling your faith or just filling you up these days in your life?

To answer honestly, I would say definitely prayer.

I fast a lot.

I fast weekly on Sundays.

I really do believe that we're in an interesting time on this planet's history, and we're facing some scary stuff.

And honestly, I don't want to be scared.

And I think it's an extraordinary time, and so we need to take extraordinary measures.

And so I spend more time trying to make sure that my will is in line with God's.

And so I really believe that when we look to the creator and we look to the one that gave us life, that gave us purpose, and I believe every one of us are on this earth for a purpose.

We all have a purpose.

And when we find that purpose and we pursue it, we can feel peaceful and calm in the, you know, as Christ said, you know, a peace that the world doesn't understand.

And so, yeah, those are the main things.

And then, of course, being able to do the work that I do, I'm really enjoying my, my channel, as you see.

I made this little set, and I love it.

This is my happy place.

I'm a, I'm a floral designer, and I have this little lamp that, and I just changed my arrangements.

Like, if you watch my shows, these keep changing.

It's just like, this is my little space where I feel like I can do something meaningful.

And that, that really helps me because I have hard days.

I'm dealing with some really hard things still.

And some really heartbreaking things in my life are happening right now.

I won't get into them, but we all have that, I think.

I don't think there's anybody would come on your show and not say they don't have something heartbreaking at that moment, so.

Right, yeah, you're so right.

We're all walking through something, whether it's today or tomorrow.

It was yesterday, so.

Well, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us and just, you know, the ways that we can step into more purpose.

We can step into loving each other and showing up for each other, and I love it.

So, Melanie, share with us.

How can people best connect with you online, on your website?

And YouTube and all that.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so my YouTube channel is triumph talks with Melanie Davis.

And so just come find me there and hopefully you'll find some shows.

The focus is, I have three playlists.

I have one where I interview authors.

So if you're interested in just hearing authors talk about their books, and there's some really great interviews.

And then I have a playlist where I'm just helping people learn how to write published market books.

But I'm starting another playlist that will be called Triumph talks.

And I will just be, I'm going to take parts of my books and my program and just start giving that wisdom out to people.

And so you can come hear me there.

And if you want to be a guest on my show, my website is triumphpress.com and you can send me a, you know, a little message on my contact form.

And if you want the ebook of this that we talked a little bit about triumph, just send me a message on there.

You just check the box.

You're not, there's no commitments of any sort.

I just email it to you.

And so those are probably the best ways to reach me.

Well, I love it.

Thank you so much.

And I love that you're sharing your book, you know, with anyone that wants to read the e version of it.

So thanks so much for joining us and thanks for sharing all your wisdom.

And it's also on Amazon if you want the print.

And I have priced it as low as Amazon will let me.

So it's not expensive.

If you like, if you're like, I actually don't like reading digital books because I spent so much time on the computer, I want to curl up on the couch, you know?

So, yes, I'm with you.

I mean, it's like, I read some ebooks, but I really do have a little problem with a lot of regular.

I like paper, but yeah.

All right.

Well, I love it.

So thanks again for joining us and thank you for what you've stepped into doing in the world.

Thanks again for listening to the show.

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