Transcripts
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend
Speaker:how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit I'm afraid to ask
Speaker:but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:hi I had two things
Speaker:I wanted to bring up to you that I didn't warn you
Speaker:that we were gonna talk about today
Speaker:last this weekend had my first theater show
Speaker:yes and you were amazing oh
Speaker:that's really nice
Speaker:I'm not being like that's really nice
Speaker:you were great it was fun
Speaker:thank you it was really fun and my home city
Speaker:it was your home city a boy chat ho yeah
Speaker:woohoo totally pack super fun show um
Speaker:talk shit about our potatoes
Speaker:I did talk shit about you
Speaker:I talked about how it was
Speaker:it's a difficult place to be keto
Speaker:because you're the potato land
Speaker:you what I do well
Speaker:you went hard I did you insulted the like
Speaker:I mean like
Speaker:think about if you were in Georgia and you're like
Speaker:fuck peaches yep
Speaker:I if I ever go to Georgia
Speaker:that's how I'll start wonderful cause be you know why
Speaker:because fuck peaches like in for real
Speaker:I hate peaches and I hate people eating peaches yeah
Speaker:I know that about you
Speaker:I felt silly when I gave that as the example
Speaker:but that's why I'm mad you were like
Speaker:I went to like this famous place and I had right well
Speaker:Westside is kind of cool though
Speaker:I think we need to give them a shout out
Speaker:Westside Diner a badass place yeah
Speaker:so Westside Diner is a diner in Boise
Speaker:I know that people love to go to and no no no
Speaker:this is a chef that like is like famous yeah
Speaker:famous like not like fine
Speaker:he's fine dining
Speaker:but he like stopped it and it's like a drive through
Speaker:you can get prime rib in the drive through
Speaker:I should order that instead of what I got
Speaker:it's only on certain days we didn't go through that
Speaker:they had it okay
Speaker:so so you talk shit about the potato yeah
Speaker:there's a dessert that shaped like a potato
Speaker:and it's not shaped it is a potato
Speaker:it looks it's looks like a potato
Speaker:no no no
Speaker:what do you mean
Speaker:I was it's ice cream yeah
Speaker:that looks like a potato rolled in the shape of potato
Speaker:rolled in like cocoa powder
Speaker:and then split to look like a
Speaker:it's cute it's very cute
Speaker:I'm just saying
Speaker:I'd rather have a plain potato for dessert
Speaker:than whatever that tasted like
Speaker:but we had a really good time ah
Speaker:so the show goes it goes good
Speaker:how's it not gonna go good
Speaker:we had 760 Gutfeld fans yeah
Speaker:filling every seat we knew it was gonna be good okay
Speaker:740 Gutfeld fans then 20 of Eric's friends
Speaker:you sold it out oh
Speaker:I thought you were I thought you were delining between
Speaker:um no
Speaker:oh okay
Speaker:versus not Gutfeld yeah
Speaker:I thought you meant like
Speaker:your friends would have come no matter what
Speaker:my people came because of Gutfeld
Speaker:that's all I was saying
Speaker:show ends I'm very happy and you know me
Speaker:I'm not often yeah
Speaker:that was an amazing show I'm great
Speaker:I don't do that very often
Speaker:I got off stage last night
Speaker:little bit of pressure because your
Speaker:your your friends were all there
Speaker:all your doctor friends I get off stage
Speaker:my mother was there well
Speaker:here's the thing
Speaker:you're getting a little bit ahead of me
Speaker:oh oh shit
Speaker:I'm sorry I'll be okay
Speaker:you know that
Speaker:it's not like we're spoiling it for each other
Speaker:fuck
Speaker:um I'm sorry
Speaker:would you please deliver a joke
Speaker:Jamie Lasalle yeah
Speaker:um maybe later I'll tell the Goldilocks story
Speaker:and you could be like
Speaker:all the bears are just still the bear still there
Speaker:did you notice I said your name with the incorrect wing
Speaker:yeah anyway
Speaker:I'm really happy I do a ton of ad libs
Speaker:I do 30 minutes of brand new material
Speaker:about the colonoscopy I just had
Speaker:I'm feeling really good about myself and the show
Speaker:which is not a normal thing for me right
Speaker:get off and I go yeah
Speaker:why why not
Speaker:it's just not a nice feel really
Speaker:it was I felt like that was a high
Speaker:bit of a high pressure show and I felt great
Speaker:get off stage meeting some people taking some pictures
Speaker:in the middle of this chaos
Speaker:my beautiful girlfriend Erica comes up to me and says
Speaker:I've only lied to you once in our entire relationship
Speaker:and it's been for the last month or so
Speaker:and I'm like what happened
Speaker:what it was it was not exactly that it was longer
Speaker:but you said that to me after my
Speaker:my really
Speaker:what I consider to be one of the best shows ever
Speaker:I'm in a great mood all these people around
Speaker:and you say very seriously
Speaker:I've been lying to you for months
Speaker:I go what is
Speaker:what are you talking about
Speaker:I didn't tell you I couldn't just be like hey
Speaker:surprise motherfucker but then it wasn't that bad
Speaker:just the what you lied to me about
Speaker:was that your mom came with the show
Speaker:and she's not a person who's a huge fan of F words
Speaker:no unless it's faith
Speaker:she
Speaker:she's very
Speaker:she's a religious woman she doesn't like the bad f word
Speaker:she's innocent and sweet
Speaker:and I was worried that she would not have the best time
Speaker:yeah so she ended up coming and you played it perfectly
Speaker:I'm not angry you for lying was
Speaker:there's some good lies in this world
Speaker:why I lied to you of course I do
Speaker:because it would have ruined everything
Speaker:and it would have gotten in my head
Speaker:oh she can come
Speaker:oh man
Speaker:if she came though fuck like yeah
Speaker:so stressed yeah
Speaker:so I felt like I was doing the good thing
Speaker:you did
Speaker:we first met you asked me what you say oh
Speaker:I just I still feel so guilty that I lied
Speaker:to you I've never lied to you about anything
Speaker:it's a great lie though in our whole relationship
Speaker:and I still which surprises me Erica
Speaker:why surprise me that you've never lied to you
Speaker:yeah but what surprises me is we we did this you know
Speaker:I'm sure it's annoying stuff to hear about
Speaker:two people that when they first dated
Speaker:didn't love and everything
Speaker:and we used to do these disgusting
Speaker:we do these little we'd ask each other questions
Speaker:you said what's your least favorite thing
Speaker:I'm not gonna talk shit about somebody
Speaker:I'm gonna say this really politically
Speaker:I said
Speaker:I I can't hate when people lie to me and you said oh
Speaker:I lie all the time haha
Speaker:and I was like what are you talking about
Speaker:I did that was a long time
Speaker:so that's why I'm surprised you've never lied to me
Speaker:because your lies are often very kind and helpful
Speaker:like the lie about your mom okay
Speaker:well
Speaker:this is an important thing to bring up being nervous
Speaker:well
Speaker:lies have such a spectrum right
Speaker:and it's also the intent yeah
Speaker:and if I the mom lie is for a spectrum goes
Speaker:the mom lie was like an Asperger's of lies
Speaker:she wanted to calm yeah
Speaker:she loves you and supports you
Speaker:but you would have totally changed your show
Speaker:yeah for her and that's not fair
Speaker:I would have put up a different comedian
Speaker:I would have seen if I could get made fargotzi well
Speaker:you did say a lot of stuff about sex hmm
Speaker:really glad I didn't know she was there
Speaker:but very happy to see that she was there after the
Speaker:the show and then we're driving the car yesterday
Speaker:you're the most thoughtful person I've ever met
Speaker:and you go you know
Speaker:I almost called your mom and flew her out for the show
Speaker:I was like
Speaker:I wanted to that'd make cool if you double ruined it
Speaker:what the fuck I thought that was nice
Speaker:I just mean it's very nice and kind
Speaker:but it would have gotten in my head
Speaker:are you saying you wouldn't have told me
Speaker:no I wasn't gonna tell you you son of a bitch
Speaker:I'm just but it would
Speaker:it would have been
Speaker:it would have gotten in my head and made this shit
Speaker:stop talking I'm so red right now oh my God
Speaker:I thought it was a good thing no
Speaker:no I would love my mom but you know
Speaker:I it's a different it's like your mom same thing
Speaker:but mine
Speaker:he just said I was double you
Speaker:I didn't mean
Speaker:I meant you would have double gotten it in my head
Speaker:I have hung out with you in oars
Speaker:where my best friends have probed your asshole
Speaker:and I was fine with it
Speaker:but inviting 2 mothers to your show is the fucking like
Speaker:Nitus to our relationship ending yeah
Speaker:do you know since you just said what you just said
Speaker:I've been racking my brain to think about what 0
Speaker:r means and I still don't know
Speaker:our operating room yeah
Speaker:yeah oh no
Speaker:Jamie Soul clap
Speaker:that's very kind of you to wanna bring my mom
Speaker:but my
Speaker:my point of this whole thing is things get in my head
Speaker:I'm not one of these guys that can just well
Speaker:that's fair but you kind of phrase it like yeah
Speaker:fuck the moms no I think it's different yes
Speaker:I get it like if you knew ahead of time and you oh shit
Speaker:my mom your mom oh I gotta make it clean
Speaker:if you have to talk about how many times
Speaker:it bent Erica over backwards
Speaker:and fucked her raw you know
Speaker:that's probably a good thing I can't count that
Speaker:you know what I think that oh okay
Speaker:this is not the way I wanted to start
Speaker:if you would surprise me
Speaker:I was very happy to see your mom
Speaker:was I not silly today did I not
Speaker:you were was I not excited
Speaker:you immediately stopped
Speaker:that whole line of people who waited for you
Speaker:and you actually said I'm sorry guys
Speaker:one second I did this is amazing
Speaker:and you went and hugged her
Speaker:and she felt really special
Speaker:I thought it was very sweet
Speaker:so you know what I'm saying right
Speaker:that fucking hug me you asshole
Speaker:that's right
Speaker:but I now realized the bar is set way lower
Speaker:but you understand what I'm saying that I was
Speaker:I was definitely freaked like
Speaker:I would have been freaked out
Speaker:if you told me ahead of time
Speaker:if I saw my mom and your mom
Speaker:are you kidding me I would have been so excited that
Speaker:that I wasn't in my head
Speaker:and I got to do that whole show afterwards afterwards
Speaker:yeah hundred percent yeah
Speaker:afterwards so we're going back to the white lies
Speaker:like what is acceptable what's not acceptable
Speaker:we don't need to bring race into it
Speaker:but I think you're right oh my God
Speaker:fuck you I wasn't being oh
Speaker:little white lies what do you wanna call it then
Speaker:no you're right
Speaker:you're right I'm just kidding
Speaker:what a little blurry gray lie yeah
Speaker:a non denominational lie that there are kind lies
Speaker:like the asshole right now
Speaker:there are kind lies your Liberal girlfriend
Speaker:good job way to be
Speaker:that's fucking awesome you're 100% right now
Speaker:keep going what else do I do wrong
Speaker:I don't know you did nothing wrong
Speaker:oh no
Speaker:there are lies that help that are good LGBTQ minus
Speaker:there there are good lies right
Speaker:aren't there
Speaker:are you really mad at me no
Speaker:but I liked your face you were like
Speaker:oh fuck
Speaker:I get worried that all times people are mad at me
Speaker:you know this about me I'm not mad at you okay
Speaker:but I think this is a really important topic about like
Speaker:what is like acceptable to lie about and what's yeah
Speaker:so for example
Speaker:okay this is really bad that I'm leading to this
Speaker:what if a guy in bed is like
Speaker:this is by the way
Speaker:you have no idea how I'm gonna say this
Speaker:what if a guy is like hmm
Speaker:so the best you've ever had right
Speaker:uh huh right
Speaker:is that the most you've ever taken and you're like no
Speaker:you were kind of let down right
Speaker:most women
Speaker:if they think they're going to see a guy a second time
Speaker:oh
Speaker:will be like ah it's amazing really
Speaker:why would I be like oh it was mediocre no
Speaker:no no
Speaker:I think you would say it's amazing
Speaker:even if you weren't gonna see him a second time
Speaker:fuck that shit just he didn't earn his keep
Speaker:bye bye
Speaker:okay
Speaker:I never thought of sex
Speaker:I've never told that says earning my keep
Speaker:not I've never you know
Speaker:I've never wouldn't be like hmm
Speaker:you know what I think it's be like best
Speaker:if you didn't stay over tonight
Speaker:you don't deserve coffee in the morning
Speaker:you deserve like a punch to the face you know
Speaker:I've never been told that
Speaker:I don't fucking ask questions that I have had sex
Speaker:I don't ask questions I don't know the answer to
Speaker:gentlemen if you don't want to know the answer
Speaker:you just have I feel pretty confident in the bedroom
Speaker:not called afraid to ask yeah
Speaker:but that's the thing I would never go like oh
Speaker:is this a bastard
Speaker:this was someone I was really serious with okay
Speaker:it was annoying because like
Speaker:honestly think about like
Speaker:the best sex you've ever had in your fucking life
Speaker:picture yet and it won't even offend me if it's not me
Speaker:but like if I'm with some guy and he's like
Speaker:oh my God like someone else was like fucking Thor
Speaker:he has like this complex so like
Speaker:women
Speaker:every time you're with a new partner have to be like
Speaker:that was the best sex of my life
Speaker:I know what you're thinking right now
Speaker:but like that was the best sex of my life oh my God
Speaker:your dick is the biggest penis
Speaker:I've ever seen in the world
Speaker:I'm sorry
Speaker:what's the harm on that because it's not true right
Speaker:and women have to be like hmm
Speaker:this is amazing but how many times have you been like
Speaker:your clit is the most cotton candy
Speaker:delicious thing I've ever licked in my life rarely
Speaker:what do you say it doesn't come up what yeah
Speaker:you just don't compliment her
Speaker:if I'm not a fan of it
Speaker:I'll say something polite like you
Speaker:and if you are a fan of it no
Speaker:I I'm gonna be I'm gonna be straight with you
Speaker:I've never talked about sex
Speaker:like I talked about it with you
Speaker:things aren't discussed what just happens
Speaker:meet a girl at your show way before me
Speaker:cause you're wonderful now and you're mine
Speaker:but like what about like 10 years ago
Speaker:20 years ago 20 okay
Speaker:I don't know I'm married
Speaker:I could have used I said I said 20
Speaker:you were married 20 years ago
Speaker:oh okay yeah
Speaker:I was no you weren't
Speaker:I was married for 17 years
Speaker:and I got divorced five years ago
Speaker:Jesus Christ whatever okay
Speaker:okay it's after a show wow
Speaker:I'm glad I have to set this up like a fucking
Speaker:like pictograph for you
Speaker:I have two things I can't forget to tell you
Speaker:why do you have to have it so specific
Speaker:okay it's after a show
Speaker:I'm just trying
Speaker:I was trying to figure out am I single or divorced
Speaker:fine if you're single it doesn't matter okay
Speaker:cause in the if I was married I could use getting laid
Speaker:that sucks for you go ahead
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:you were gonna say it's after a show
Speaker:someone comes up to you
Speaker:and you fuck the shit out of a girl wow
Speaker:and then afterwards
Speaker:before she goes home and she says to you
Speaker:how was that uh huh
Speaker:what do you say it's it's I'm gonna be honest
Speaker:it's never it's all it's rarely been not good
Speaker:so it's pretty good what do you say though
Speaker:I guess great that's it yeah
Speaker:I don't I tell that shit you're honest
Speaker:that's great oh awesome
Speaker:I don't sound like I'm glad I was
Speaker:like a halfway decent donut with bacon on top
Speaker:like give me the fucking cronut
Speaker:let me tell you you should go like all the way
Speaker:let's lie to the fucking girl
Speaker:if you're not gonna see her again
Speaker:then you'll be nice and say wow
Speaker:you're amazing you're beautiful
Speaker:I can't believe like you came back with me
Speaker:have a beautiful life why do you have to be an asshole
Speaker:I thought you just told me you would not be
Speaker:tell a guy he was really good
Speaker:if you're never gonna see him again
Speaker:I'm a girl it's a difference okay
Speaker:men expect to hear your penis is fucking huge
Speaker:it's like a goddamn pipe I don't want that
Speaker:I don't need that yes
Speaker:you do I just wanna be told I'm doing a good job
Speaker:do you wanna hear like me
Speaker:no no
Speaker:no no
Speaker:but I'm saying that's what I'm saying
Speaker:the size thing doesn't
Speaker:I don't want you to hear anything like that
Speaker:I would like to hear you wanna hear like yes
Speaker:performance 100% wasn't bad
Speaker:I have so many questions I'm afraid to ask go for it
Speaker:nope um do it
Speaker:do you know when I was single
Speaker:this is about me and like girls after shows
Speaker:do you know I was single
Speaker:I think it was I'm so bad with dates
Speaker:I don't know if this was post marriage or
Speaker:I definitely was single after a show
Speaker:did I tell you about this
Speaker:already about the I don't know if I told you already
Speaker:I'll edit it out after a show
Speaker:this girl comes up to me and she's like
Speaker:all the signals I told you about before
Speaker:where I think she likes me and wants to sleep with me
Speaker:she's like oh
Speaker:I'm here alone my friends left
Speaker:whatever and she's not an unattractive girl Erica
Speaker:she's not unattractive okay
Speaker:that's not a compliment
Speaker:what she's not an out of shape man
Speaker:it wasn't supposed to that conjure
Speaker:well that fucking ass okay
Speaker:ripped what I'm trying to say is she wasn't
Speaker:there could have been a temptation for some guy to
Speaker:so if she was like
Speaker:super not my type is a play way to put it
Speaker:then the story doesn't matter right
Speaker:cause then it's like what was the
Speaker:she was a cute girl Jamie
Speaker:she was a cute girl
Speaker:I feel like
Speaker:you're trying to really feel up against the wall
Speaker:what's your type you just said that you're my type
Speaker:she wasn't oh
Speaker:so here's what happens like cop out
Speaker:this is a true story she starts saying all these things
Speaker:that make me feel like she wants to sleep with me
Speaker:tell me if these are like she goes
Speaker:is your hotel nearby I've told you that
Speaker:once she goes over all my friends
Speaker:and you know what I did was talking to her
Speaker:I realized you tell your penis is broken no
Speaker:you're not gonna believe
Speaker:this I'm single hotel right next door
Speaker:I go to Lululemon earlier that day
Speaker:and I had purchased the softest pair of lounge pants
Speaker:I've ever felt in my life
Speaker:and as she was talking to me
Speaker:I pictured myself alone in my room
Speaker:like putting on my lounge pants
Speaker:and I was like oh
Speaker:and I snap back into it and I was like oh
Speaker:I gotta get out of here
Speaker:and I went home with my lounge pants
Speaker:that's that's where I'm at
Speaker:I just felt like the amount of drama
Speaker:to have to do that with someone
Speaker:I would probably never be with again yeah
Speaker:just give me my laundromats
Speaker:give me a rotisserie chicken and give me some Netflix
Speaker:Netflix hey
Speaker:guess what did you what
Speaker:I did get touched inappropriately last night
Speaker:Owen Spokane uh huh
Speaker:I just told my therapist we go to therapy
Speaker:we can talk about that later
Speaker:I love my therapist I
Speaker:I'm a huge proponent of counseling and mental health um
Speaker:advocacy I think
Speaker:people are afraid to talk about the fact
Speaker:they have a counselor or therapist right
Speaker:like it's almost like this native like you're a failure
Speaker:it's not well anyway
Speaker:so I was talking to my therapist about you
Speaker:and I just said her today what
Speaker:he got his dick wrapped
Speaker:yeah well okay
Speaker:I didn't I didn't just like walk in be like hello
Speaker:nice to see you pecker fucking whipped
Speaker:what do you in what context
Speaker:did you tell her that this happened
Speaker:you mean after a show we were talking about like
Speaker:you not liking men hitting on me
Speaker:and how women often hit on you
Speaker:and how it bothers you on social media
Speaker:way more than it because you're protective
Speaker:way more than it bothers me
Speaker:but what bothers me is not the threat of like oh
Speaker:this guy and girl are gonna hook up
Speaker:like Jamie's gonna be like oh
Speaker:this woman's attractive
Speaker:I don't like that you are disrespected
Speaker:I think it's fucked up
Speaker:that someone just grabs your dick out of nowhere
Speaker:so I told her that and she was like okay
Speaker:so we had this huge conversation about like
Speaker:inappropriate versus appropriate
Speaker:like kissing
Speaker:taking pictures and hugging you and how like
Speaker:it's actually really healthy that I trust you so much
Speaker:that when women grab you in a non sexual
Speaker:like I'm obsessed with Jamie way
Speaker:I'm okay with it
Speaker:but when it's like they grab your penis or yeah
Speaker:but yeah it
Speaker:it bothers me because I feel like that's
Speaker:that's your body and that's not fair to you
Speaker:not that I feel like you're cheating on me at all
Speaker:but like that's not cool
Speaker:but the flip side is very different
Speaker:and we talked about that and how like
Speaker:if I was in a field where like men came up to me yeah
Speaker:if you're in a field I'd fucking come up to you
Speaker:that is the sound of Jamie's fingers
Speaker:tapping awkwardly on the table
Speaker:if I can come right up to you
Speaker:I'm driving
Speaker:I look over see this beautiful girl in the field
Speaker:fucking kidding me
Speaker:I work in a field where most of my colleagues are men
Speaker:highly successful younger men
Speaker:but they don't cost me they don't touch me right
Speaker:so we talked a lot about like what's appropriate
Speaker:not appropriate so continue
Speaker:my point is
Speaker:I don't feel threatened by it because I trust you
Speaker:but it bothers me
Speaker:when someone invades your personal space yeah
Speaker:the side was if a man grabbed my boob or my ass or like
Speaker:good God if he like went between my legs
Speaker:I think you'd fucking kill him
Speaker:I'll be very upset yeah
Speaker:at him not me
Speaker:it's on him yeah
Speaker:I feel like if you're in a field though
Speaker:you'd see him coming and you could somehow
Speaker:you could escape before he got to you
Speaker:I think that I have more haha
Speaker:I'm not sure that one qualifies this one
Speaker:but we'll say next joke yeah
Speaker:I agree I feel like haha
Speaker:you just said like um
Speaker:what I'm hot like what highly successful like young guy
Speaker:I definitely feel like there's two versions of it
Speaker:my fans are sometimes people that you probably don't
Speaker:there's there's I don't think it
Speaker:it's more for sure an invasion of personal space
Speaker:when I picture that stuff
Speaker:I get super defensive
Speaker:when people are like mean online to me or kind of
Speaker:you way more angry if it's something with you
Speaker:cause they
Speaker:I feel like they don't know what they're talking about
Speaker:and you don't care but it really bothers me well
Speaker:I don't care because it's people who have never met us
Speaker:yeah if I get an insult from someone close to me
Speaker:who knows my character uh huh
Speaker:it kills me
Speaker:uh if it's someone who doesn't even know you and me
Speaker:it's social media
Speaker:so easy to like insult and attack people
Speaker:it doesn't matter yeah
Speaker:I heard someone say once and I wanna steal it
Speaker:they said I only care about an opinion of someone
Speaker:who has my cell phone number
Speaker:that's actually really good
Speaker:that's not a good one
Speaker:so last night I like that one pretty good right
Speaker:so Spokane Washington
Speaker:let's implement it let's do it
Speaker:so for for context
Speaker:the touching the penis and everything
Speaker:we're talking about people after shows
Speaker:man doing it who touched your penis
Speaker:but that's what we're talking about
Speaker:if anybody doesn't understand
Speaker:why someone touched my penis
Speaker:after a show line of people more
Speaker:look like more than once was not a man
Speaker:a woman took a picture with me
Speaker:did I miss something
Speaker:a woman took a picture with me and after the picture
Speaker:she said to her husband
Speaker:I got the same picture with Jimmy Fallia
Speaker:Jimmy Fallia is my friend who has a shot
Speaker:I like him he's a man he's great so nice
Speaker:he has a really popular radio shows
Speaker:and Gutfeld all the time um
Speaker:he guest hosted the night he's funny yeah
Speaker:he guest hosted the night you saw man Gutfeld yeah
Speaker:and um so she goes yeah
Speaker:fun I mean
Speaker:fun's one adjective
Speaker:people used to describe his clothes
Speaker:um Jimmy he's the best and so this woman
Speaker:she takes a picture with me
Speaker:it was one of those one of my
Speaker:the most annoying things is
Speaker:I'm gonna take a picture with you
Speaker:and then someone else goes
Speaker:let me get it what are you doing
Speaker:what is happening she goes
Speaker:let me let me do it on my phone
Speaker:and two people
Speaker:that each other take pictures on different phones
Speaker:and you're like just text it
Speaker:sometimes
Speaker:the older people make me take pictures on their phone
Speaker:so they can also have the picture
Speaker:it's a story okay
Speaker:so then she grabbed my dick your ass oh
Speaker:who gives a shit
Speaker:okay next topic so anyway
Speaker:expected you to care this whole night
Speaker:or the whole time you were in talking about like
Speaker:someone grabbing your penis and your ass
Speaker:and she said Jimmy failure
Speaker:let me do this
Speaker:I want to have a picture of me grabbing your ass okay
Speaker:and before I could respond it was it was locked in
Speaker:might be online so I want to tell you oh
Speaker:you wanted to tell me like I'd be upset
Speaker:if I saw a picture of a woman growing your ass
Speaker:just wanted to bring it up
Speaker:but I love you and I trust you
Speaker:so like if I saw that it would never bother me okay
Speaker:because you're not like hey
Speaker:you wanna grab my ass or acting on it afterwards
Speaker:and I don't know how it feels
Speaker:my voice sounds like that
Speaker:I'm trying to make it just okay
Speaker:hey listen
Speaker:there's a big difference between you
Speaker:inviting sexual advances versus you doing your job
Speaker:and people being inappropriate in your bouncers
Speaker:not doing their fucking job yeah
Speaker:huge difference oh my God
Speaker:you're so cute that you think I have bouncers at my
Speaker:I met someone I should go oh
Speaker:that was a theater say hi to you
Speaker:that was a theater theaters are very different
Speaker:he was like get the fuck away from Jamie and I was like
Speaker:but I wanna go see Jamie did
Speaker:I went up to that get the fuck away from Jamie
Speaker:Erica came up to see me after the show and he kicked it
Speaker:and I I wanted to
Speaker:I gave him a stern I went up to him and I said hey
Speaker:I go No. 1 that's my girlfriend
Speaker:I go No. 2
Speaker:anyone that looks like that is allowed back here
Speaker:you didn't say that no
Speaker:he met me beforehand though
Speaker:and that's why you were upset
Speaker:was because we met like way before your show
Speaker:yeah there's no one but like four people
Speaker:like you're opener of the manager
Speaker:you me and him
Speaker:the MC and we talked for a while
Speaker:so yeah after your show
Speaker:I always feel bad cutting people off
Speaker:like there they waste no time
Speaker:because you are valuable
Speaker:and they wanna be there and they're excited
Speaker:but what do you mean
Speaker:like sneaking in to say hi to me or to like crying
Speaker:I'm wasting their time
Speaker:because they stood in line forever for you
Speaker:and then I'm like hey Jamie
Speaker:yeah I don't know why haha
Speaker:that's weird that you're doing my voice
Speaker:I think
Speaker:they are more uncomfortable with you doing that voice
Speaker:than you cutting in line so I walked out to like
Speaker:hey that girl with a deep voice cut me haha
Speaker:and I'm like hi
Speaker:can I just say hi to Jamie
Speaker:I just wanna let him know we're gonna go to a bar
Speaker:and he turned around he's like
Speaker:fuck you
Speaker:he was very nice actually
Speaker:he was but he turned around
Speaker:he was like shut it down
Speaker:he was like no
Speaker:the line starts over there
Speaker:you cannot come in that's the way it works
Speaker:and my face I like dropped and I was like
Speaker:yeah is he joking with me
Speaker:cause so that's something we should talk about
Speaker:he's being serious
Speaker:it's very difficult to know serious or sarcastic
Speaker:but he just looks at me and he goes
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:and I am very strapped and I was like
Speaker:but I think my mommy is here
Speaker:and he looks I didn't say that
Speaker:he looks me as oh fuck
Speaker:oh god damn it
Speaker:I'm so sorry you're Jamie's girlfriend
Speaker:not his fault he's not his fam
Speaker:and I actually enjoyed the fact that you were protected
Speaker:I told him to go Bob the shit out of it
Speaker:but like he was cool I go
Speaker:hey don't like that
Speaker:I don't need to be protected okay
Speaker:we've been over this what
Speaker:I'm glad he let you know what that means
Speaker:just you're beautiful
Speaker:that's the bouncer we just talked about
Speaker:your balls on a shish kebab stick
Speaker:where did I one of us talked about that
Speaker:coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:so I got a question coming in
Speaker:this is interesting
Speaker:Doctor Erica and Jamie
Speaker:sometimes I feel like they put in Jamie just to be nice
Speaker:I get massages all the time because they're good for my
Speaker:sciatica
Speaker:sciatica and my circulation
Speaker:but my boyfriend thinks I'm wasting money ah
Speaker:could you please tell him
Speaker:there's an actual health benefit to massage
Speaker:or is he right
