Have you ever felt hidden, overlooked, or unsure how to use the gift God placed inside you? In this episode of Born to Be a Butterfly, Nina Pajonas shares a powerful dream that revealed what it truly means to use the unique voice God gave you — even when you’re still in the back row.

Listen now on Born to Be a Butterfly — where we embrace healing and growth in Christ so we can experience true transformation. 🦋

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Remember, the Lord can turn your wounds into wings—you were Born to be a Butterfly! 🦋

Born to be a Butterfly © 2025 Nina Pajonas All rights reserved. The content of this podcast is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. For the full disclaimer, visit ⁠ninapajonas.com.

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that I was in a church. But I was sitting all the way in the back and the whole church was singing Holy Forever.

But I was singing it the loudest.

It was as if I was leading worship, but from the back.

Then I stood up and I started singing the song even louder.

That's when I noticed that there was a man in the row in front of me who was watching me intently.

I didn't understand why he was looking at me because I didn't recognize him.

Then I heard him say very softly,

sing it the way you want to sing it.

Sing it in your style, Nina.

Immediately I started ad libbing and then I walked to the front of the church.

I stopped singing for a moment and then said,

let's worship our God.

I put my hands up in praise and I began leading worship.

Then I woke up.

The dream stayed with me.

I felt it in my spirit,

not just my memory.

It felt like an instruction,

not just my imagination.

It felt like God was showing me something about where I've been and where he's taking me.

Welcome to Born to Be a Butterfly,

where we embrace healing and growth in Christ so that we can experience true transformation.

My name is Nina Pajones and I pray that today's message ministers to you.

Today's episode is about learning to use the unique voice that God gave you,

even if you start from the back row.

For the longest time as a singer, I would sing my soul's story using other people's words.

I colored inside the lines a lot when it came to my singing because I wasn't confident enough in my own voice and in my own interpretation.

I put myself in a box and sang songs the way the original singer did.

I always sang with great emotion,

but I wouldn't fully allow myself to be free with it.

And so often in life we get boxed into versions of ourselves that other people think we should be.

The way they believe that we should behave,

who they think that we are,

when it's not even actually who we are.

And if we're not careful,

they can convince us to live a life that was never meant for us.

The truth is,

we're not meant to live in a box.

We are meant to live for God's glory.

And God's glory gets concealed when we try to be who other people tell us to be.

God's glory gets concealed when we shrink to make other people feel comfortable with our identity.

God's glory doesn't get revealed through our story if we let other people write it.

Sometimes People will try to stop you from going places because they don't think you belong there.

Or they'll try to make your world so small that you can only grow to a certain size.

There's a saying that you should bloom where you're planted,

but. But sometimes people crowd the soil on purpose,

hoping that your roots won't spread.

But if you've got living water running through you,

if your soul is fertile with faith,

then you can grow in the harshest and roughest environments.

Don't let anybody tell you differently.

Don't let them tell you you can't,

or that you shouldn't,

or that you won't.

Nobody gets to determine what God has spoken over your life.

Nobody gets to determine how you create or cultivate the dream that God has put on your heart.

They have absolutely no say in how you make it come to life or how the Lord makes it come to life.

They don't get to say how he blesses it or when he blesses it.

You must understand that your ability to tune out the noise of the world is paramount.

It is so important,

you can't miss it, because if you don't tune it out,

you will get consumed by it.

The noise will become so loud that you won't be able to hear the voice of God well enough to know when to move,

when not to move, where to go, where not to go,

what door is open, what door should be closed,

and what door should stay closed.

You don't have to chase platforms when you carry his presence.

When you walk in obedience,

God brings you forward in his timing.

James 4:10 says,

humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.

You don't need others to lift you up,

but you can't let them keep you down either.

And now I want to tell you about a time earlier in my story when the Lord told me that he didn't want me to sing.

He made it abundantly clear that it was something I had to let go of because he had something else for me to do.

And you have to understand, it was very difficult for me because I had sang for most of my life.

I've been singing since I'm seven years old.

Singing had always been my favorite way of expressing what was inside of me.

But then it was clear to me that the Lord was saying,

not this way,

not right now.

It was clear that the Lord didn't want me singing words into a microphone anymore.

He wanted me to write them on paper.

That's when he started me on the journey of writing my memoir.

And I could tell you right now, I didn't know what I was doing.

I felt so lost.

He took my singing away,

and he put a pen in my hand instead of a microphone. And he told me to get to work.

And I didn't know where to begin.

I really didn't. I had never written a book before.

I had never written anything more than maybe a few devotionals.

But the Lord had a plan.

And as children of God, we are called to be obedient to his plans,

not our own.

All I kept saying to the Lord was, why me? And why my story? Why would anybody be interested?

I kept giving him reasons as to why I shouldn't be doing it. And he kept telling me, no,

I want you to do it.

I kept inviting the Holy Spirit in,

asking what I should write about,

what should I talk about?

And little by little, the Lord just kept revealing more and more of how he wanted me to lay out my story,

how he wanted the book to be formatted,

what he wanted the COVID to look like. Eventually, he gave me the title. I'm saying this all for a reason.

There's someone out there. This is a Holy Spirit moment because he is pushing me to say this right now.

I wasn't even going to get this deep into the story of my book, but he's saying that I have to say it. So here I go.

There is someone out there who has a dream on their heart that the Lord has put on their heart that they think is too big and that they don't think they're capable of doing.

Hear me when I say this,

sister.

You don't have to know.

The Lord knows how to do it. All you need to do is stay close enough to him so that he can reveal it to you.

Because that's exactly what he did with me.

He gave me the first page of my book,

and he gave me the last page.

Those are the first two pages I wrote of my book. I kid you not. I don't even like to call it my book. It's God's book.

Honest to goodness, it's his book. It was like taking divine dictation.

Sometimes we're just along for the ride.

Somebody needs to hear this. I don't know who needs to hear this, but the Holy Spirit is pressing this on my heart.

Don't worry about how you'll get there.

Don't worry about not knowing how to do certain things.

The Lord will equip you as you go along.

He will reveal things. He will give you more wisdom. He will give you More knowledge.

You will have epiphanies.

He will get you where you need to go,

and along the way, he's going to give you different tools and different gifts to get you there.

And I promise you, you probably won't even recognize yourself at the end of the journey because you're going to say to yourself,

I never was able to do this before,

or I was never able to do this as well as I can do it now.

It's because God cultivated the gift.

You are going to be in awe of what God did in you,

what he saw in you that you never would have seen in yourself,

in what he saw in you that maybe no one in your life ever saw in you.

You're gonna shake your head in disbelief at the things that you were able to accomplish because of Christ in you.

Oh, it's such a beautiful journey, sister.

And I'm so excited for all of my sisters to embark on the assignments that the Lord has put on their hearts.

I am so excited for everyone to step into their gifts, into their calling, to find their unique voice that the world needs to hear so that you can reach the people that only you can reach when you spread the good news of the gospel.

I'm telling you, there is a reason why we are all different. There's a reason why you have your gifts and I have my gifts and the other sister has her gifts, because we all reach different people.

My voice might move you,

but it might not move somebody else.

God uses his children in different ways and in different seasons for different purposes because we're unique.

As unique as our fingerprints.

And this is a word that the Lord put on my heart months ago,

and I wasn't even going to talk about it tonight, but here I am.

The Holy Spirit said,

tell them their gifts are unique to them.

Their calling is unique to them. Their voice is unique to them.

The Lord put it on my heart that the reason why we all have different fingerprints,

the reason why they are unique to each and every one of us,

is so that when we touch something,

when we put our hands on the work that the Lord has called us to do,

we are leaving our mark.

And it is the mark that the Messiah has given us.

Because his purpose and plan for your life was designed before you were even born,

before you were put together in your mother's womb. The Lord had a plan for you.

I'll refer to Ephesians 2:10.

For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do your work is waiting for you.

It's waiting for you to put your hands on it. And God will put his hands on it as well.

Your fingerprints are the identifier that that belongs to you, that God predestined you to do what he has called you to do.

It's not meant for anybody else.

Nobody else can do it as well as you can,

because they're not meant to.

They weren't built to carry what you carry.

They weren't made for the job you were.

Sometimes it will be very clear to you what God is calling you to.

But sometimes there's just a desire on your heart to move in a certain direction,

to try a certain thing just a little bit outside your comfort zone.

Do it.

So long as you pray on it, bring it to the Lord and make sure that it's from him,

that it's of Him.

Once you get that green light,

you move forward.

Understand that with every step you take,

he will reveal a little bit more to you.

I say all of this to you as someone who has been sifted because my faith has been tested.

And not just in trying times.

Faith is also tested through assignments.

When you're looking at a circumstance or a situation and you're saying to yourself, there's no way I can do that.

There's no way that can get done when you step forward anyway.

When you step forward in faith, when you reach out to the Lord and say, I have no idea how to do this, but you're telling me that it needs to be done,

and you're telling me I'm the woman for the job,

well, then, Lord,

make me the woman for the job.

There is a prayer that I have been praying since very early on my walk with the Lord.

When I was about three to four months sober.

I started praying this prayer, and I'm going to share it with you because it's very short,

but it's very powerful.

And I believe that it has helped me abundantly on my walk with the Lord and in my journey of transformation.

The prayer is,

lord,

please help me become the woman that you created me to be before the beginning of time.

I pray that prayer because I don't want to be any other version than that version.

That is the only woman that I want to be.

I only want to be who he created me, me to be.

And so, sister,

I urge you,

I urge you to pray that prayer. I challenge you to,

because it has given me such incredible joy in my life.

It has brought me closer to the Lord than I could ever imagine.

And that's what I want for you.

I want you to fully realize that who Christ has called you to be and who he created you to be.

And I assure you,

the best and most beautiful version of yourself is the one that you will find in Christ Jesus.

There is nothing more profoundly beautiful than a woman who knows who she is in Christ.

The light that you will shine in the world will be undeniable.

And it won't be about physical beauty. No, no, no.

It'll be the radiant light that you shine in the world that is the light of Jesus Christ.

And there is nothing more glorious than that.

We're talking about soul work.

We're talking about holy heart restoration.

We're talking about a transformed mind and a renewed spirit. We're talking about life transformation on a scale that has not ever been seen by any other means.

The only one who can totally transform your life in the most beautiful and profoundly incredible way possible is your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And let me tell you something.

There are going to be people who might not be able to handle your light, but that is not your problem.

We are meant to shine in the darkness, sister. So shine brightly.

I know there are times on this podcast where I can get a little loud.

I understand. That might come across as forceful.

What some think of as aggression is spiritual strength bursting out of me after years of suppression.

I am Holy Spirit, led and driven.

I can be a warrior for God and a woman simultaneously.

The power that I carry comes from being forged in the fire.

I've gone through trials and tribulations, and I have been triumphant because Christ lives in me.

I am courageous because he tells me that I am more than a conqueror.

And if people think I'm too passionate at times when I speak of my faith,

I will not apologize for it.

I lived in fear for so long, and I almost died because of it.

I don't want any of my sisters to suffer the same fate.

So if I come across forceful, that's why I'm not trying to be harsh.

I'm urgently delivering the messages that heaven puts on my heart.

I am not going to sugarcoat how sneaky Satan is or how cruel he can be when he's trying to pull us away from Christ.

If I sugarcoat it, I'll do you a disservice.

And that would set you up to be a victim.

Instead of empowering you and encouraging you to celebrate victory over the enemy.

All of this brings me back to my dream.

I didn't just walk from the back to the front in that church.

I walked from hesitation to holy boldness.

I went from watching to leading,

from finding my voice to using it to call others into worship.

And you, sister,

have to do the same.

Our Lord and Savior didn't call his children to be passive. He calls us to be passionate about spreading the good news of the Gospel.

And now I'm going to ask you a question,

just one today.

Where in your life have you been singing someone else's song?

Where have you been playing Small Shrinking or holding back?

And what would it look like to step forward in your God given voice?

Let's pray.

Father,

thank you for the voice you have placed within each of us.

Help us to stop shrinking,

comparing and conforming.

Teach us to recognize your timing, to trust your preparation,

and to walk boldly when you call us forward.

Make our worship pure,

our obedience steady,

and our identity rooted in Christ alone.

We are yours.

In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus,

I pray.

Amen.

If today's message blessed you,

please share it with a friend and follow Born to be a butterfly so you never miss an episode.

If you have any questions or would like to connect,

please reach merntobeabutterfly on Instagram orntobeabutterfly on Facebook.

You can send me a message anytime.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time,

Remember,

the Lord can turn your wounds into wings.

You were born to be a butterfly.