What does it actually look like to live as the intuition vigilante of your own life — in real time?

In this episode, I walk you through exactly how I choose autonomy when my circumstances feel like they’re running the show. From building a business while parenting a wild toddler, managing a household, and healing grief, to feeling stuck in the chicken-before-the-egg loop of childcare and money, I break down how I use my own framework to move from spiraling to self-trust.

This episode is about validating how hard it actually is, reconnecting with your intuition, taking radical self-accountability, and making the next best decision — even when life feels out of control.

If you’re a mother who wants to trust herself more than anyone else in the room, break societal rules, and create an autonomous life rooted in intuition, this episode will show you what that work looks like on a micro level — not just the highlight reel.

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Okay, so becoming and staying the intuition vigilante of your own life and actively choosing to stay in the driver's seat of your own life, not to let your circumstances dictate your reality and to not like, drown in the victimhood of, well, it just is what it is.

This is what my life is.

I guess I just have to deal with it.

It is constant, like, actively doing this in real time.

So yes, there is the big overarching, like, rebirth of yourself into this person who is choosing to fight for the right to trust herself, who is willing to break the rules and go against the grain and do the things, to trust herself the most and to create the life that she truly, truly desires to have.

Like becoming that version of yourself, the identity shift, the rebirth into that identity.

Yes, that is part of, part of this, that is the work that I do in my program.

But there is also opportunities presented to us constantly in our life that allow us to either fall back into our own way, old ways of letting our circumstances dictate our reality, or choosing to be in the driver's seat, to not be claustrophobic in our own life, to not allow our circumstances to be in charge and to remind ourselves that everything is an option, that we are in control of each choice that we make, that we are an active participant in our life and the reality that we are creating.

And I want to talk to you about a situation where I currently am being faced with another opportunity to do this in my own life.

This has happened to me over and over and over again where I feel like I've mastered this and then I get presented with an opportunity and I'm like, oh my God, I'm an imposter.

Oh my God, I'm a fraud.

How can I teach my clients this when I am feeling so victimy, When I am feeling so, like, drowning in my own circumstances?

And then I realized, and I've realized this, like each time I felt this way.

No, no, no.

This actually makes me more qualified because this is me being given an opportunity to act it out in real time.

What I teach my clients, yes, this is what I teach my clients in the year long container that we are together when they are literally rebirthing themselves into the identity of a human who, like, takes their power back, uses their voice, like, steps into this version, who is truly, like, trusting herself more than anyone else in every single room that she's in.

But then we're also doing this on micro levels with little individual decisions that we're presented with and little individual circumstances that we're presented with.

So though I have adopted the alter ego, whatever you want to call it, of I am the intuition vigilante of my own life and I want to help other women become that in their own lives, I still am faced with opportunities and decisions and circumstances that make me feel like that's not the case.

Yes, I have that as my like overarching identity, but there are times where I slip back.

So I'm gonna walk you through like a circumstance right now in real time that I am going through that I feel like I'm not in control of my choices.

Like, I feel like my circumstances are dictating my reality and I have to catch myself in these moments because I know that that's not actually true, but it sure the fuck feels true sometimes.

So basically my circumstance is I don't actively have childcare for my youngest child who is almost 2 years old.

My older 3 are in school.

From roughly 8 to 2:30 ish is kind of my window because we have two different school schedules.

We have preschool and elementary.

So from about 8:45 to 2:30 I have just my 2 year old, almost 2 year old.

But I am also trying to manage a household.

I am trying to run, create, build a fucking business, a fucking empire, a mission, a vision that is on my heart.

And I am in a situation currently where financially full time childcare doesn't make sense.

This is the one area where we could really cut drastically in our spending in order to hit the other financial priorities that we have right now.

And this is not with a lot of extras in our life.

Yes, there's a few things here and there, but this isn't, this is, this is kind of bare bones where we're in a season where, you know, we're really trying to cut things out.

And childcare was one of those things that just made sense.

I'm at home, I can take care of the youngest, but at the same time it's chicken before the egg.

How do I build the business?

While juggling a two year old who is very active, very into things, breaks the baby gates, climbs over the baby gates, like pulls the safety things out of the outlets, you know, the things that you put on the doors and the drawers, like keep the kids out.

He's like figured those out.

Like this kid is into absolutely everything.

Containing him is near impossible.

He climbs on everything.

He's got three big brothers, so he's very wild.

He sees what they do.

He's probably more physically capable than most kids his age because of what he sees.

His brothers do.

And he is also a mama's boy.

And he's demanding of my attention when he's awake.

His naps aren't the most consistent.

And when he does nap, he typically wants me with him.

We've gone round and round with just like, what's the solution here?

I can't build the business and make the money that I need to make.

And I say can't lightly.

There's always a way.

But it feels like this is what it feels like when I'm in my, like my circumstances are dictating my reality, like, brain is.

I'm like, I can't create the business that I want to create while juggling the baby, but I also can't afford the childcare that I would love to have without the business that is thriving.

Like the chicken before the egg.

And it feels, feels like I get caught in this loop and I have this downward spiral and I have bad days where I'm like, it.

I'm just not gonna even have a business.

Or I'm like, I'm failing as a mom.

Or I'm like, it's just never gonna happen for me.

And then there's days where I'm like, okay, no, I've got this.

Like, this is fine, I can do this.

This isn't so bad.

And I, I feel like I've been caught in this loop for a little while for I would say like a couple months as I've been kind of like, re entering the actual scene, CEO level of business.

I've been kind of in like a hibernation season for a little while, like really doing a lot of behind the scenes cleanup in my mind and in my, like, what is my brand?

What is my mission?

What is my actual sole purpose here?

What is my.

Who is the person I'm talking to?

What is the transformation that I get her?

A lot of that behind the scenes work, a lot of shadow work, a lot of inner work, a lot of grief healing, a lot of that.

And now I'm ready to step back into the forward facing version of my business and actually start to like run a business again and beat a CEO again.

And I'm like, how, how do I do this?

When the best my.

My hottest time, when I am the most on in my brain is when is is like in the.

The same hours of the day that I am getting kids up, I out the door, off to school.

I'm home with a busy toddler and then he goes down for a nap.

I feel like I'm about to Crash out if he even does go down for a nap.

And then, you know, he's fighting me on his nap.

By the time he falls asleep, I've got what, an hour, maybe two.

My house is now trashed.

I feel like I, I can't even like settle in, get in my zone.

As soon as I'm like getting in my flow, in my zone, really, really getting like he's waking up or it's time to go pick up his brothers and I'm like, what the fuck?

How am I supposed to do this?

And I want to walk you through what I am literally doing with myself in real time, which is walking myself through my own motherfucking framework.

That is what I'm doing.

Number one piece of my framework is to validate, like where you are now.

I call this validate the death.

Because when I'm working with my clients for a year, we are really validating, like, where did she disconnect from her self trust?

Um, like might be what happened in her childhood or what trauma she went through, what grief she went through.

Um, what big thing happened to her?

You know, was motherhood just the identity shift, like the big thing that rocked her.

But for me, in this small scenario, in these micro scenarios that will come up, it's like just validating the shitty elements that are here.

Because this is hard.

It is actually hard, despite what people tell you, to build a business while juggling kids, while managing a house while being a wife.

Like, there are elements, especially as a person who needs like downtime.

I am a manifester in human design.

I am somebody who needs like time and space.

And I don't have like this constant steady energy that some people, like a generator or manifesting generator might have.

And I'm not using that as an excus, but it's just the reality and it is hard for me.

My nervous system is like, what the fuck?

And it makes me want to quit.

It makes me want to just say, nevermind, I'm just going to sit on the couch and watch Ms. Rachel.

Or I'm just going to go downstairs and like play in the playroom with the kiddo and like, not build a business because I'm just going to play.

And then when he takes a nap, I'm just going to clean the house and do the laundry and cook.

And that just sounds great.

And honestly, there are days that I do that and it's great.

But then there are days where I'm like, I just want to pour into my business.

And I know that this fire is in Me for a reason.

So what did I do?

I literally had a word vomit vent session with a friend who is also a mom and business owner.

And I even started crying at one point and I'm just like, I feel like a fraud, how can I teach this?

But also I know that I can.

And also how the fuck do I do this?

And also like, God, I just need him to stop getting into shit.

And God, I just need like a minute.

I just need a fucking minute to breathe, to think, to like hear myself think.

How can I create when I'm constantly being pulled in a million directions?

And how can I like get in flow state and how can I let the creativity pour out of me and blah blah, blah, blah blah.

And I just had to get it out, I had to vent, I had to be validated in the death that was the mini death, I had to just be validated, met where I was at.

Feel the fucking feelings, feel the shit, vent it out, be a victim for a minute.

Like just allow yourself to be a fucking victim for a fucking minute.

And obviously in my year long container, this is a longer stretched out process.

But for me in these micro moments, this is all happening within a couple of hours.

And then there might be like, maybe not micro moments, but like middle the ground moments where it's like a larger situation but it's not a whole like identity shift where we're using these same steps, but it's taking us a week or a day or a month.

But for me, for this situation, it's taking me like a couple of hours to go through this.

So then I'm like, okay, I got it all out and even as I'm talking through it and I'm like listening to my own words of like, woe is me.

Wah, pity party.

I'm like kind of shifting into solution mode.

Like had I not started to validate my feelings and like actually talk it out, I think I would have just kind of dwelled in it for longer.

But allowing yourself to like openly speak it or write it or whatever way kind of you get it out of your system.

I am able because I am very self aware, which you become in my program if you're not already like, like I was able to start to clock, oh, maybe that's something that would work.

Oh, maybe this is actually what I need.

Maybe there's a solution.

Like my brain is starting to fire solutions and I'm even as I'm venting, I'm like, ooh, I think I need a brainstorm.

I think I need to brain dump this out.

Maybe, maybe he could go to the daycare that my, my niece goes to.

Maybe, you know, there's, I could do this to pick up a little extra money while I do this.

Or maybe I could start selling something in my business that would generate the income that would allow this.

Or may, um, I could shift his nap time.

Or maybe we could have, you know, a college student come to the house and help us out.

Or maybe our old nanny who had a baby.

Like, we could do some sort of trade or maybe I could trade with another mom in a Facebook group.

Or like, my brain is literally starting to fire off solutions and some of the solutions might not work, but I'm, I'm offering myself solutions as I'm in the vent.

And the solutions isn't necessarily the next step because I'm like, used to this process.

That's what my brain starts to do now.

The next step in my framework is to get clarity on how you want to feel.

So I'm instantly like, what do I want?

And actually my friend who I was having this conversation with, she kind of prompted this for me.

She's like, what would an ideal scenario even look like for you if money and time and whatever was no object?

And I was like, honestly, he would go to some sort of daycare from like 8 to 2:30 while my big boys are at school.

So I'd have like four days a week because my, my middle two have half day on Friday where I would actually have my house to myself.

I could spend a little bit of that time doing house reset decluttering, doing some organizational projects that are really, really hard to get done with kids round.

I can have an admin day in my business.

I can have content creation day in my business.

I can have a project day in my business where I'm really working on, you know, behind the scenes things and new things and projects and whatnot.

And that would give me the space in my calendar to, you know, podcast and, and do guest expert things with other other, you know, people at collaborations and things like that.

And I'm like, that would be ideal.

And as I'm moving through this process, I'm like, okay, but the money and what a blah, blah.

I, I put my son in his car seat thinking like, okay, I just need him to like, sit here while I like, go pee.

He fell asleep.

Now you can judge me all you want.

I know you're not supposed to like let your kids sleep in their car seat, but you guys, I do it in a safe way.

I Like lean him back so he's not gonna, you know, his head's not gonna fall forward, whatever.

And I'm like, okay.

And this was an hour before his normal nap time.

I'm like, oh, maybe I could just like put him down for an earlier nap.

I'm like, what if I shifted his nap time and what if that allowed me to get into flow state and stay in flow state a little bit longer?

Okay, what if he doesn't fall asleep and I throw him in the car and we go for a drive and I get into flow state, I just bring my laptop and I get into flow state and I go park in a parking lot somewhere and I do my work in my car and use my hotspot.

Okay, maybe I could do that until I'm able to, you know, be, be making enough revenue in my business to be able to afford the childcare.

That would be the most ideal scenario.

My brain is giving me solutions because, well, and I kind of skipped the stuff on, on step two, which is getting clear on how I want to feel.

And as again, so when I thought about that, I was like, I want to feel proactive, not reactive.

I want to feel calm, I want to feel peace.

Okay, what's going to give me that?

What's going to give me that is a minute to just like hear myself think.

Okay, how do I get that?

I can put him in his car seat so he's not climbing on everything.

Okay, great.

Then he fell asleep and I was like, holy shit, that's step two.

How do you want to feel when we do this?

In my long term container, this is like an overarching, like, how do you want your life to feel?

But for me, they're the same.

Overarching.

How do I want my life to feel?

I want it to feel peaceful.

I want to feel calm.

I want to feel fulfilled.

That's also how I want to feel in this micro moment.

So how do I create that?

Because the micro moments, these micro decisions, these make up our fucking life.

So.

Okay, we're getting somewhere here.

Now step three.

Reconnect with your intuition.

Reconnect with your self trust.

I'm.

I have a minute now to actually like go inward because I have some quiet, some time to think because that is required for me and it's required for anybody, I believe, in order to actually hear yourself, which I believe is like the voice of the divine.

What, what is my intuition telling me is necessary here?

Getting clear on that.

My intuition is telling me that this downtime is required for me, this quiet time, this flow state is required for me to have a business.

Okay, what, what do I need to do to get there?

Because I can't allow the circumstances of I have a 2 year old while I'm building a business, while I have three other kids, while I'm dealing and healing from grief, dictate the life that I have.

I can't because trust me, when I start to spiral, I'm like it, I'll just go get a job, I'll just put them in daycare, I'll just make enough money to be able to afford daycare.

But then I'm still going to come home and be tired and my house is still going to be a mess and I'm still going to have this mission and vision on my heart because this mission and vision isn't going to go away because it's my fucking sole purpose.

And then I'm just going to feel like my time is constricted because now I have to go work this full time job and all I really want to do is pour into this mission and vision and like movement that I'm creating.

Okay, so then the next step, once you really reconnect with your intuition, your self trust, which again this is like a few months worth of work in my program when we're doing this on a larger identity scale because we're learning how to, to listen, we're learning how to discern, we're learning how to tell the difference between what is our programming and what is our intuition.

What is the outside world and the outside influences and our intuition.

We're learning to uncover and address what is blocking ourselves from our self trust.

This is deep, deep inner work.

But I know how to, I know how to listen to my intuition now.

I know when my intuition is like telling me something.

So now the next step, step four is choices and decisions.

I have to fucking make a decision.

I get to decide.

Remember everything is an option.

This is a percept, a perspective shift that we make in my world, instead of thinking, oh well childcare is not an option because we don't have the money.

I have to shift my perspective to.

We are choosing to pay our mortgage right now instead of paying for childcare.

We are choosing to have a van that we have a car payment on so that we have a vehicle that, that runs instead of a beater that was breaking down instead of paying for childcare.

Right now we are choosing to, I don't know, pay for fucking Disney plus so that we can entertain our kids on a snow day and like I can take a fucking nap in the middle of the day without, you know, the kids destroying the house, overpaying for a childcare, you know, whatever.

It is like we have to understand that our choices are our choices.

But I also have in the past made the choice to forego the vacation with friends in order to afford childcare.

I know that I do better when I have some childcare help.

So now I'm also thinking, okay, what decisions can I make?

What choices can I make to reprioritize childcare now that he has moved out of baby stage into full fledged toddler stage.

And this is a different stage that this is around the same age that I have gotten childcare for all of the other boys and have realized that it is very, very cruc.

My mental health and my ability to build and run a business.

Okay, these are decisions, this is, this is a conversation that I need to have with my husband.

This is deciding to pick up some extra shifts for my part time job.

This is getting really, really fucking intentional with nap times so that I can crank out this offer and start selling it and my business revenue can start paying for this childcare that I need.

Like these are decisions that are required that I have to start making if I want to create the life that I want.

Is this making sense?

But this takes self accountability and this can be really confronting when I have to actually sit here and be like damn, when I am spiraling and in my woe is me.

Like I have to be accountable for the decisions that I made.

Accountable for the fact that I kept my son home and didn't pursue the career where maybe now I'd be making enough money to cover childcare and live a more lavish lifestyle.

That was a decision.

That's self accountability.

I have to take accountability for the last six, seven, eight months that I wasn't selling anything in my business so that I could do all of this inner work and really, really get clear on this redirection instead of just selling the thing that was, it was good, but it wasn't as aligned as I knew I was supposed to get.

I have to take accountability for the fact that I paused everything forward facing and everything that I was selling in my business in order to get more clarity, in order to get more aligned.

And that's why we're financially in a spot.

Paying for childcare is more difficult.

I have to take accountability for that.

So when you.

And then the last step is true autonomy in your life, it's living the life that you desire and being in full control of each next best decision that you make.

Because this is about each next best decision.

This isn't about necessarily making the big giant decision that is best for five, 10 years down the road or even a year from now.

Because a year from now I might make the decision to put him in full time daycare, whereas right now I might be making the decision to optimize nap time in the motherfucking car while I save some money and get.

Get the work done.

Does that make sense?

And I just want to show you that, like an out, like two hours ago, I was spiraling.

I was crying into voxer to my friend about, woe is me.

This is so hard.

How am I going to make this work?

I can't get in flow state.

I have no time to record.

I have no time to, like, get in my zone.

I feel blocked.

I feel like my throat chakra is blocked.

Like, all of these things, which I'm not saying that any of those things are not true, but by walking myself through my own process, I'm literally now sitting here recording this podcast for you.

Now, could my kid wake up?

Yeah.

Would that derail me in this moment?

Yes.

Would that be frustrating and maybe send me into another spiral?

Maybe.

But also my.

My brain spit my whole mindset around.

This whole situation has shifted.

Even if he woke up right now or woke up halfway through me recording this, I'd be like, ugh, that's annoying.

But holy shit.

I kind of feel like I have a solution now.

I kind of feel like I can, like, breathe again.

I hope this makes sense and I hope that you can see, like, in real time how I am doing this work myself.

I've done this work on a full fledged rebirth identity level, but I am still presented with opportunity after opportunity to have to go through this process again, to have to choose autonomy, to go through the autonomous motherhood method in real time.

As things in my life come up and circumstances shift.

Because life doesn't stop happening.

Just because you do this work, just because you become self aware and you become, like, conscious that you can, like, be in charge of your reality and change your reality and be in control of your choices and live a fully autonomous life that doesn't actually exempt you from life throwing you curveballs and circumstances, like, still happening.

Because though, yes, I believe that, like, everything is an option and you are in control of each next best decision in your life, always.

You are not in control of the fucking earthquake or the snow day, or the kid that got sick, or the, the, the husband's knee surgery that happened, or the, the death in the family or all of the other things that come up in our lives.

You cannot control that you are not God.

But you do have the voice of God in you and that's your intuition.

So I hope this little peek into a window inside my life gave you a little bit of, I don't know, insight, confidence in how to use this work and understanding and how this actually works on a micro level.

And if you are interested in working with me in my long term container, like send me a DM on Instagram.

Taylor knows Kara on Instagram.

I want you to be in control of your own life.

Even when it feels out of control.

You can, you can gain control.

I promise you can.

If I can do it with four wild boys, two sets of twins, losing a child, entrepreneurship, like being exiled of sorts of during COVID making decisions that are against the grain, that people in my family didn't like.

Choosing entrepreneurship and being one of the only ones in my front group that chose entrepreneurship and not having the steady two income household that most of my friends have.

I mean guys, if I can do it, so can you.

I believe in you.

I love you.

I'll see you guys next time.