This podcast episode delves into the complexities of contemporary consumer experiences, particularly focusing on the disillusionment surrounding modern services and products, exemplified through the discussion of Chuck E. Cheese's disappointing offerings. Furthermore, we reflect on the evolving dynamics of relationships and societal norms, particularly in the context of marriage and fidelity, ultimately questioning the authenticity of modern interactions amidst a culture rife with superficiality. Join us as we navigate these multifaceted themes, providing insights that resonate with our collective experiences and observations.

How y' all doing?

My name is Reuben now with five Minute Warning.

I appreciate the fact that you've downloaded our episode today, but of course, just to let you know, we are live on Sundays, 9pm Eastern Standard Time.

And you can join and talk with us and everything.

You can check us out on Twitch, you can check us out on YouTube.

Just put in five minute warning and join us live on the show every Sunday night, 9:00pm Eastern Standard Time.

And thank you for downloading this episode and we'll talk to you soon.

The following program is rated nal.

It contains strong language.

It is intended only for mature audiences.

This week on the Five Minute Warning because they ain't giving you nothing and they charging you.

So I'm like, bruh.

I was like.

I looked at my wife, I said, boo, boo, that pizza was off.

He said, you ain't said nothing but a word.

The show that gives you everything and nothing at all, that's everywhere you don't want to be.

It's Reuben Low B.

And on the ones and twos, kg,.

The Five Minute Warning.

What's going on, everybody?

Welcome to a brand new episode of five Minute Warning.

Of course, always.

It's your man, this guy right here, Reuben.

We are here to take you to a different world of complexity or whatever.

But as always, with me is my cousin Ag.

What's happening, y'?

All?

How you doing?

I'm gonna give you consistent stuff.

Y' all already know what I would say, Reuben.

I just don't know sometimes, bro.

What are you doing, man?

So, first of all, I apologize for that opening.

That open.

It was terrible.

I just got hit with some.

And I gotta handle that after the show because I'm gonna say it right now, man, F. Google right now.

They decided they hit me with a charge like five minutes ago.

I was like, for what?

Yeah, charge for a subscription that I canceled like two months ago.

But it says not canceled, and I know I canceled that.

So, like, yeah, we.

I got.

I got situations I gotta take care of because.

Yeah, I just got situation gotta take care of.

I think you need to get Rocket Mortgage, sir, because you might have 50 subscription anyway.

Nah, nah.

So.

So here's the thing, right?

Like, so last year, I updated my app, my.

My Android watch, okay?

My Google watch, because I have a Google Pixel.

So.

I had Google Watch one for like three years, bro.

Okay?

I remember.

And I was like, it's time.

So I updated my watch to Google Pixel Watch 4.

Well, when you get it, you get like six months of free Fitbit Premium, okay?

Cool.

And a couple months ago, one day, it just hit me, when does that end?

So I went and checked and it said, you know, it ends in.

It renews in April because they give you six free months.

Well, we can go ahead and cancel that because we don't want to re up.

Cool.

I've done it before.

Know what the.

I'm doing?

Whatever.

Whatever.

So I'm sitting chilling right before the show starts, and I get an email from PayPal.

Yeah, you just got charged, you know, $80.

So, yeah, it just literally hit me, like, two minutes of.

Two, three minutes before the show.

So I'm just like, now I went j. I. I cut this off, not to subscribe.

So now I gotta.

You know, I gotta do some.

Some.

Some leg, you know, it's gonna hit my account, man, and like, hey, I get it, man.

Some podcasters are, like, paying.

I am not.

I have a job.

I got.

Well, even.

Even Fitbit, even if you were getting paid, it's on principle.

You.

You cancel it and it should be gone.

But that's how they get you because they can just randomly charge you.

What are you gonna do?

Yeah, so.

So.

So, I mean, I got.

So I gotta go.

So I went through PayPal.

It was like, y. Google.

So I went to the Google joint, and it's not really giving me much, but once again, the situation is.

It's a time situation because, you know, once again, you know, usually you get hit with some before.

Like, you supposed to go do something like.

Yeah, you know, you about to go to a wedding and some splashes mud on your shit.

Like, part of you was stunned that you gotta figure out.

You gotta make moves, but you're stunned.

You're standing there like, I got mud on my now.

And I'm just like, what the f. So that's.

I apologize for the opening because I wasn't.

I was there then I wasn't mentally.

So I apologize for opening Mocha Cowboy.

I have the WI Fi.

Because, look, man, what I don't need is another phone number.

I got one personal.

I got a work phone.

Her.

I am good in this.

Like, I don't need ways for people to contact me.

I got three.

I got an iPad that's got a phone number, I got a watch that's got a phone number, and I got a phone that's got a phone number.

Yeah, man.

Look, man, if you can't contact me on the two spots in my email, I can't.

You don't need.

You don't need me.

That's just you know?

Yeah, that's what it is, bro.

So like, so nah, man, right now, I apologize.

I'm.

I'm going to be okay.

But you know, it's like, hey, man, you walked into a door, somebody just punched you in the face and you didn't see it coming and it's like,.

The fuck, you know.

So yeah, I'm going to be good.

I'm probably going to end up having to go to my bank and just have them fucking dispute it.

Like, come on, man.

I know I can't because I know I'm going to go to the app now and it's going to be like, yeah, cancel.

And I'll be like, this some shit.

So I'm gonna figure it out.

But woo saw, as they said in Bad Boys too, woo saw.

I got my together.

I'm good.

I just need to express that because I was a little pissed walking into the show.

You should never be pissed walking to a awesome show like this.

Well, actually you were sitting down, so that should have.

You should have took something off of that fastball since you're sitting down.

No, no, actually, actually, because I'm sitting down, it's got nowhere to go.

You couldn't relieve your,.

You know, $80, sir.

80 Free dollars they stole from you and called it commerce.

First of all, I'm getting my goddamn money back, so I ain't worried about that.

Good luck, sir.

Bro, some things.

This is not the first time.

This is not the first time I got got.

It won't be the last.

People steal from.

You're right, man.

Companies steal from people all the time.

Exactly.

And oh, it's a clerical.

No, it's not.

And my feeling was really good about getting my motherfucking money back.

So.

W. Yo, I mean, I'm saying, man, like, like, don't get it twisted.

The app is super dope and stuff like that.

However, I don't need it for $80 a year.

I understand, 80 a year.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Which is weird because, like, it used to be $10 a month and so it lower the price again, huh?

It lowered the price.

How about that?

Yeah, they could have set a brother a reach around.

Well, that was the reach around before they took it $40 off.

Nah, man.

It should have been like, yo, we about to charge your shit.

Nah, player.

They was like, nah, let me just, let me just grab them balls real quick without you knowing.

Really?

That's what we're doing, man.

That, I mean, that's what happened.

That's what I feel like.

I feel like Somebody just grabbed my balls and started squeezing.

You should regulate your feelings, sir.

We're men.

Well, come on, man.

Look, as a.

There are a couple things that can get us riled up, one of which is money.

Truth.

What's the other one?

I'm curious to see what your answer is.

What's the other one?

Oh, I was just gonna talk about the money part.

I wasn't gonna go into detail.

But you say there's two things, and you gotta give us two things, sir.

What's the second?

No, make something up.

It's money and stupid people.

But that's not.

I don't know if that's aching to men.

I think that's just people.

Nah, man.

Cause I feel like.

I don't know, man.

When you steal from a woman, are.

More tolerant of stupid people than men are.

Okay.

No, I mean, as a whole.

As a whole, I think that.

I think there are percentages, but I feel like, you know, I feel like women.

Well, that dude's just stupid.

Whatever.

Whatever.

As long as.

As long as he paying my.

I' ma keep him.

Dudes are like, nah, that stupid.

We out.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Am I wrong?

Wow.

Hey, look, man, you asked, I told.

But that's what it is, man.

He's stupid.

He paying.

He paying my bills.

I'm gonna keep his ass.

Dude's like, oh, that stupid.

Nah, let's get the out of here.

We ain't got time for that.

I mean, I'm trying to figure out where the lies.

Actually, I think.

I think a lot of men will say that you're stupid, but they still hang out with you if you don't get them in trouble.

Well, see, I think.

I think it's different if you're talking about friends, but as far as just regular stupid people, nah, man.

Dude don't deal with stupid people that much.

Get your crackhead ass out of here.

Like, what are we doing now?

They crackheads.

Those are two separate items, sir.

That's very true.

We don't deal with that either.

Some very intelligent crackheads out there.

Pretty sure.

I mean, hey, man, if they listen to me, we got other situations going on.

Like, why you gonna crack it?

Like, how and how did you get to this?

I mean, they calling me, calling me.

Oh, my goodness.

I want a video belt.

I still want a video belt.

Who?

You remember that part?

That's how I got his arms cut off, because he was wearing a video belt.

And they caught him because he couldn't stand not.

Not hitting the crack pipe.

With all that.

I, I, that is the worst, man.

You send a crack fiend in there to be undercover producing crack.

Come on, bro.

That was always gon.

I mean, that was the worst part of the movie, really.

It's like, they didn't really even like him.

So they're gonna send him into a situation where he could.

Had no possibility of success.

So with that statement just being said, I mean, where's Eliad?

But they were really upset when he was killed.

So I'm like, you knew this was gonna happen.

I know he volunteered, but you knew this was gonna happen.

I mean, Ice Key kind of cared about him.

But, I mean, you said to do.

You sent a crack fiend into a crack house, bro.

Like, I don't know what to tell you.

Like, everybody knew how that was gonna go.

I didn't see any arms getting cut off, though, bro.

That was harsh.

I mean, it doesn't really matter what happened.

It kind of did.

He was a person.

He was a human being, man.

Pookie was a human being.

Come on, man.

You can be a crack fiend.

You can be a lot human being, but they knew what the hell was about to happen up in that.

And I.

That's why I'm telling you, that was the worst part.

They didn't give a about Pookie.

They cared a little, but not enough.

That's not.

Don't.

They didn't say, don't go in there.

Well, I will say, I got it.

And I did say this earlier.

He did make choices.

He volunteered hard for this.

Yes.

And, and they did say, nah, bruh, nah.

And they, they.

But at the same time, if I was a true friend, I wouldn't let him do it.

Also, we, first of all, I understand that, but we gotta not negate the, the elephant in that room, bro.

People in there filling up crack house with no clothes on, bro.

Right, because you.

So they can't take them.

You right, But I'm like, hey, man, like, I understand.

Like, I need a job, but I don't know if that's my job.

That's all I'm saying.

Like, listen, but you got to do what you got to do.

Like, hey, what I'm saying to you is you have to understand those people's situation.

And I'm sure they were getting paid.

Quite well or they were just living.

And that was the payment, because, remember,.

He took over the whole building.

I hear what you're saying, but.

So maybe they have a choice.

Look, the only thing I'm saying is why.

Why are the Naked women making.

Making crack the elephant in the room.

That didn't even matter to him.

The crack is what mattered to him.

That's what he was struggling with.

He wasn't struggling with being chased.

Struggling with crack so much that he.

He like.

He's like naked women who.

That.

I don't care.

Right.

That's what crack does.

I. I mean, I get it.

That's how you lose weight.

You not sick.

It's just that you don't care about food.

You care about getting high.

Yeah, I can't do it.

I walked your room with negative pics, man.

I don't know.

Don't do that, Reuben.

You can't do it because you don't.

You don't smoke crack.

That's true.

That's right.

You're trying to rationalize the irrational.

Stop it.

It's almost like how.

How people in the United States rationalize why you can do that.

You have the luxury to do that, sir.

Because ain't no bombs going off in the United States.

That's how you have the luxury to do it.

Same thing here.

It's like you making judgments on people without smoking crack.

Stop it.

Yeah.

Ain't smoking crack.

I don't need.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Sorry to make judgment about people working at crack house.

Yes.

Yes.

You should need to go back to judging people with pets and kids do that.

You're good at that.

I am good at that.

I don't like your kids and I don't like your pets.

That is much Warriors.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Them kids damn pets stay in your lane, sir.

Nothing makes me happier.

And one day this shit's gonna not age well because I'm gonna meet somebody who either has kids.

Oh, I'm around.

And have a kid accidentally or whatever.

Funniest thing ever because.

Because all I said it's gonna be.

It's gonna be the funniest thing ever because all this foolishness you're talking right now.

Wait a minute, Reuben.

I got this on wax.

Look at this.

Like I said, man, like that's why I pre saying go age well, probably.

Oh, mama still laugh at you.

Still.

Oh, and I would expect you.

Oh, man, it's going to be relentless.

Oh, that's right.

Because she's going to be the prettiest girl ever.

She's going to love her some you.

And she's going to have a dog.

We won't be together.

No.

You won't be able to escape that tractor being, sir.

Look this big maybe.

No, look at you.

You're negotiating already.

You're negotiating already?

Yep, yep.

But nah, man, nothing makes me happier that to scroll either on Instagram or scroll on Tik Tok and look at dumbass kids doing dumbass and getting like.

When the karma hits you immediately, bro, I can watch that for hours.

Come on.

Because here's so first of all, before you sit here and be like, Ruby, you shouldn't be doing doing that.

No, the parents videotape this and they put it on wax.

They put it on the Internet.

So them kids and them parents for doing that to them kids.

Because, yo, let's be real.

There ain't no funny.

There ain't no funny kid videos if there ain't no parents recording that.

Like there's an always recording when the kids curse for the first time.

And the be funny when the kids kid is.

Is walk.

Oh, man.

The greatest one, when the kid is running, trying to run outside, runs right to the glass door.

Oh, that's hilarious.

I'm laughing all day.

I'm laughing all day, man, that does not get old.

Because it's like, look, man, why are we praying?

First of all, shout out to the person who cleaned that glass.

Because real talk, it don't look like that motherfucking hair from the video.

I.

And then when the kid runs to it, the kid just don't run into a head first.

They go like, it was bad.

It looked like a cartoon.

It looked like a cartoon, man.

Greatest ever.

Why are you so mean?

That is just mean, man.

I mean, hold on.

You ain't laughing too much.

I'm not.

Nah, man, you laughing.

You are next level with it.

Because I don't go chasing this stuff, man.

It's like, it's funny.

I move on chasing it.

I'm just saying it's on your algorithm.

At some point you were watching a lot of it.

Got up there.

And that stays there because that shit's funny.

Just like when stupid humans do it.

When stupid adults do a too.

Oh, wait a minute.

Mocowboy, he just talked about this.

Does the size of the dog matter?

I'd rather have a medium instead of a Yorkie or Chihuahua.

So here's the thing.

As far as the size of the dog, there are a couple different things with it.

One, they can't be barking all the time.

Goddamn time.

You don't want a little dog because little dogs bark all the time.

Fun.

Two, look, man, I'm too old to be playing with dogs, man.

You if you got more energy.

First of all, what you doing with them like that's?

Craziness.

How is craziness, man?

I mean, look, man, it's just so.

Look, if I wanted to deal with something with that much energy, I'd have a baby.

Don't say that.

They are entirely two different, you know.

But I'd rather have that than a dog.

No, you don't.

That's all I'm saying.

No, you don't.

I've actually would.

No, I'm serious.

I'm very serious.

I.

You know, but I mean once again the chances of dog is higher at this moment.

But yeah, like I don't need a whole bunch of darking.

There are a few dogs that my friends have had that I, that I'm super cool with.

Like one of my boys, the P man, he's had a couple Jack Russell's man.

He trained, he trained his Jack Russells, man.

They're so cool.

Like I was sitting on the couch and the dog would come to sit beside me, wouldn't touch me, just sit beside me.

We just chill out.

I rode back his head.

Just chilling, man.

Like, you know, some dogs train right?

Are awesome big ass dogs.

Nope.

Wait a minute.

Big dogs can be trained.

What are you talking about?

What?

Big dogs can be trained.

I understand that, but I don't want no big ass dog.

Whoa, whoa.

Hell no, man.

You might get pissed off one day and then we're gonna have to fight.

It's much easier kick a little dog than a big dog.

Why are you out here kicking?

You know, I'm not talking about I'm gonna kick a dog but if I gotta defend self is what it is, man.

You should sit there and you, you just like whatever bro.

Dogs got big ass mouths and sharp ass teeth, man.

And then also look, man, pit bull's not happening.

If you can't, if you cannot league.

I think they get a bad rap.

Well, no, it depends.

It completely depends on the, the, the parent of the dog who, how they raise them.

It is 100% because some, some parents take good care of that dog.

And they train.

They're super nice and all that, but they look like they want to eat your face off.

And that's kind of hard to get over.

I do not.

I'm just.

Look man, you laughing.

I'm serious.

They don't.

They look like they want to get your face off.

They look pretty happy.

They look pretty happy.

Happy.

Well, I don't see you with a pit bull.

I don't like pets, but I ain't mad.

I mean you go in, man, you go in.

I Mean, I express my opinion.

I'll tell you what.

I don't like dogs.

I've.

We've talked about dogs numerous times on the show, and everybody knows that I don't like dogs.

So if we don't continue talking about dogs, you gonna keep getting it?

I hate dogs and I'm not gonna waver.

Listen, the only thing.

The only thing that you are incorrect about is Judge Judgin crack fiends.

You can hate dogs all you want to.

I still think it's the funniest thing ever.

Because as soon as you meet your smoke show of a girlfriend, which you want to turn into your fiance, which you want to turn into your wife, she's gonna have a dog.

And it's going to be the most ironic thing, too.

And then we won't get that far, so I'll never know.

Yeah, that's not true.

That's very true.

That's not show 318.

Reuben lied to everybody.

You underestimate the fact that.

Look, man, I ain't about the dog life.

Not even close.

Not remotely.

I'm just not.

Okay?

There are a lot of women out have dogs, and I'm true that.

I don't know if.

But here's the thing.

If I had to choose, like between a dog woman and a catwoman, I mean, I'd just be by myself because I hate cats.

Worse.

Cats are the worst, man.

I mean, what is a cat done.

Besides be a cat?

First of all, first of all, I'm allergic to cats, so.

Oh, well, you never mentioned that.

Or at least I don't remember.

Well, no, I don't really talk about it because cats suck.

So.

First of all, I hate cats.

I'm allergic to cats.

But the other thing is.

Yo, man.

When a dog gets mad at you, the dog just gets mad.

And then eventually everything's cool.

When a cat gets mad at you, they're you.

Because they're petty.

Nothing's safe.

Yes, they're petty.

They're like.

They're like you.

Yeah, and then.

But.

Except that I won't piss on people's clothes.

But that's for them.

That's petty.

Yeah, exactly.

When they do that, you gotta throw them away because you ain't never.

Wait a minute.

You gotta throw them away.

You wanna make garbage Just.

You are never getting a set of cat pee out of your clothes.

It's not happening.

It's just.

I don't know what's in there, Pete, but I've lived with a cat before.

Hey, when me.

Me and Mo B Back in the day, he had a place.

I. I stayed with him for about a year.

He had a cat.

Moby had a cat.

Never a lot of my room, man.

He never said he had a cat.

Yeah, he had kept for.

It's like, wait a minute.

Moby can have a cat but you don't like cats?

I mean, I'm allergic to cats too.

That's why I keep forgetting you're allergic to cat.

Okay, but the other thing.

But I didn't really get allergic to cats until I lived with one.

I didn't know I was at allergic one.

Okay.

You know.

Yeah, man, that cat's petty as.

I ain't got time.

Look, if, look man, if I'm gonna do that, I'm just gonna cheat on my girl.

I mean, cuz.

Wow.

Whoa.

How do we jump from I don't like pets.

Cats are awful to I'mma cheat on my girl.

Girl.

No, I'm just saying cats are petty, man.

Cats.

Cats will piss on your.

It'll scratch up your.

And then decisions got to be made.

I got to put the cat out, bro.

But I can't just put the cat out the house because then they go try to slide back in that.

Nah man, you gotta send.

You gotta go to a remote location that's nowhere near your house and whatever.

There are times where I just need Moby in my life right now because I could imagine, imagine what he would say about you.

I mean, first of all, he's gonna have to tell me about his cat.

I had no idea his name was Kiko.

I mean, look, man, the cat was a cat, you know, a little baby cat.

I mean curious and all that.

So it was a kitten.

It was a kitten and it grew up to a cat and you know, curious and all that.

Like whatever.

But yeah man, I. I'm not a pet person, but I don't make rules because I was living there.

So I was like cool, whatever.

But then you know, it became a situation, but I became allergic.

And so, you know, for me I just dealt with that and you know, every day I have to pop some whatever.

Benadryl or something that did a trick.

Yeah, had to pop Benavil.

Benadryl cuz where I was living with school.

So it wasn't that big of a deal.

And the cat was never in my room.

So I.

The only time I really saw the cat was out in the main room or whatever.

And the cat never came to with me because we just didn't get down like that.

You and the cat didn't get down like that.

Didn't get down like that.

So y' all had an understanding?

I didn't hate the cat.

Yeah, and I don't think the cat hated me, but.

Nah, bro, don't.

You don't need to be over here.

This ain't.

This ain't your.

When I'm here, this ain't.

You understood, you know, and.

And it was cool.

But yeah, man, I mean, I know that the cat, I guess, got mad at Mo B one day and kind of pissed on his.

I mean, that was a done deal after that.

Once again, you can't get cat piss out of clothes, bro.

You gotta get rid of.

Got thrown away.

Wow.

You can try to wash that out, but it's something in that be that makes it so that ain't going nowhere.

So you either gonna a walk around with smelling like cat piss all the time, or you gonna throw your away.

And look, I've known Moby for a very long time.

You got one time for that.

Yeah, cat lost for sure.

The cat took that.

L. You know, as you strong, I'll.

I'll let him tell you the story on how he did it, because it was brilliant.

Like, the whole story is brilliant.

And maybe next week I'll have him tell that story.

But yeah, man, I wasn't living there when he ended up getting rid of Keego.

But like, yeah, he didn't just put the kit.

The cat out the house, man.

Cat took a trip.

I mean, yeah, for.

For the cat.

I mean, he didn't kill the cat, but he was just like, hey, man, he took him to a destination and they had, you know, mental gymnastics.

He's like, yo, time for you to go.

And the cat realized it was time to go after a minute.

Jumped out.

Jumped out the window.

Never something out of the window.

He was just like, yeah, he was stopped.

I understand that, but I'm just saying.

He was just like, yeah, this is bad.

Apparently, if.

I mean, I could be wrong, but apparently, you know, Moby looked at the cat and looked out the window.

He looked back at a cat and looked out the window, and the cat looked out the window.

And then after a little bit of that, the cat realized he needs to go out the window.

And so he's got to tell us story.

I just.

I just see me crying from laughter.

He's got to tell me the story.

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I wasn't living with.

With him when that happened, but yeah, man, I mean, once again, Kiko.

Kiko, a small cat, grew up, little kid grew up and that's cool.

I didn't start getting allergic to the cat until he became a cat.

Like when you became a full grown cat, like, then it was like, I can't like, be in your presence and get the.

Out of my room.

Like, I had to close my door, my room door every time I.

My love.

Right.

Because he's, you know, cats are.

Are curious, you know, and they went, oh, I don't get to go here ever.

One day I came in, I guess I accidentally didn't close all the way.

So I came back, cats.

And I opened the door, cat's running out, which means the.

You doing in my.

Like, he knew what was up.

Absolutely.

I agree.

Yeah.

And he was like, what's not going to happen gonna happen is you gonna.

You're not gonna find me up in this.

He open the door, cat runs out.

Like he was a flash.

And like, I was like, whoa.

And I was like, you doing in my room?

But I mean, you know, I didn't talk cat, so it just was what it was.

You didn't talk cat, so it was what it was.

I didn't talk cat, so I mean, I can't like, have a conversation.

And plus the cat ran and hit like, cat knew what was about, you know, that.

That want to move like I'm not gonna beat the cat or because it ain't my cat, you know, but like, the cat knew the cat was in the wrong for being in there.

So the cat knew the cat was in the wrong.

That's why when I open the door, he's.

He didn't.

He sprinted the fuck out.

So, yeah, to wrap up, there is no woman walk.

Walking that can.

That has a cat or especially a dog, a big dog that will have you in her life long term.

I think I can get past that, you know, and, and I'm not sitting here saying it's 100% possibility.

I think it's.

I mean, man.

Yeah, that shit's gonna be hard because, like, I'm.

I'm very set in my ways now, and I don't really want pets.

Reuben, something tells me you were probably always set in your ways.

Well, but, you know, there's a time when the flexibility was a lot more less rigid than it is now.

Understood.

Most definitely.

But yeah, man, like right now, like, I can't see it.

Like, she would have to be.

She would have to be one in a million up in this.

But that's what I'm trying to tell you.

But you said that you.

It wouldn't matter.

So it's like, it's the end of the conversation.

Yeah, man.

I mean, yeah, yeah.

I don't see it.

Like, once again, I could be completely wrong in a year from now, I'm sitting, I'm we doing this show and a dog just pops up.

Dog's head just pops up.

And you'll be like, what the is that?

And I'll be like, she left her damn dog here for the weekend.

Don't judge me.

Oh, you will get judged.

Oh, definitely.

I know I ain't crazy.

You judge everything else.

You will get judged, sir.

Yeah.

Moco caval.

So I did not lock the cat in my room.

What I think happened is Mo B probably went in there for something and the cat snuck the in but didn't get out before he closed the door.

That's what I think happened because.

Nah, man.

Like, I can only imagine the absolute death of something if I would awaken up.

Cuz I've seen cats, man, especially when you sleep, they like to crawl all over you.

And I swear to God, if I woke up and there's a cat on my chest, bro, it is on, like, neck bones.

I'm going to scream and I'mma kill that mother.

Like.

Yeah, but yeah, I'm just saying, I ain't.

I ain't never hurt no animal.

For real.

For real.

But, yo, I can't imagine.

Me, me.

It's gonna go one or two ways, man.

Either the, the cat is gonna go, or somebody's calling the hospital because I'm having a heart attack.

Like, that's not.

Have you heard the statement how cats, like, be taking your soul and cats.

Don't take your soul?

You don't know that you don't have a cat.

Well, that's not the reason I don't have one, sir.

I know.

They do understand we're about to die, though.

I will say that.

Die.

Yeah, I'm good.

I need that to be a surprise.

Cat staring at you like, yeah, I'm just waiting for your old ass to die.

Nah, I don't need that.

Get out.

Just saying more.

The size of the dog matter.

Yes.

Yeah, Yorkie.

I don't.

Look, man, actually, Yorkies aren't little dogs.

They're just not tall.

Like, I ain't about no dog that can fit.

Thinking I'm thinking about the other one.

Never mind.

Yeah, any dog that can fit in a woman's purse.

I mean, you know, it's 33 minutes in, we're still talking about dogs, bro.

I mean, something off.

Are you.

Are you just like, you know, going through some stuff right now, being asked.

About how I feel about it.

Okay.

I'm just answering questions.

But yeah, like I said, I'm not about the dog life.

And plus the other thing about having pets.

You can't just up and go places.

You got to put them shits.

No, they're, they're like kids.

They're like kids.

Yeah.

Either somebody's gotta come watch that or you gotta put it in a shelter or whatever.

And once again, if I gotta do all that, at least with a child I can get some investment going on with it.

Like get them to do stuff for you.

I mean, cut the grass, make me a drink.

I mean, give me the remote.

Depending on who you ask at the right time.

That's why we here, you know.

Depending on who you asking at the right time.

Somehow I don't think that was the sole purpose, sir.

Depending on who you ask.

Wow.

And when you ask.

Wow.

Okay.

Because look, man, you're not going to sit here and tell me that people had 15 to 20 kids because was cool.

It was a very different time, sir.

Not a time in which we were reared.

So.

What are you talking about?

Well, you got people having seven to eight kids.

Some people got a damn football team.

That's because they, they, they're Catholic, probably.

I mean, I guess, but I mean, how many kids did the Duggas have for like.

But they don't have their kids working for them necessarily.

That they.

Which is probably a problem.

Why is that a problem?

I mean, when I was a kid and I grew up, I had to do some work.

They do have chores, but that's not working the family business or whatever.

Come on, man, what you talking about?

See that, that judgment again about some stuff you don't know.

Come on, man.

I mean, look, once again, depends on who you asking.

When you ask, you will, you will find out why you here.

I totally agree, but I'm telling you that was that, that, that time has passed, sir.

People that generally have big families now just have big families.

It's, it's of no purpose.

Purpose.

It's just, you know, they want kids.

Yeah.

Ad I love kids.

I, I, I, I love children and I wish I had my own.

But I even I have limits of how many children that.

Yo, I, I'm not saying you have, you know, you don't have limits.

I'm just saying some people, yeah, for whatever reason, they just have big families.

But it's not, not.

They're not using them to harvest and they're not using Them to, you know, further the family, whatever.

It's just like, they just have a lot of kids.

Okay,.

What is wrong?

What don't you agree with about what I said?

No, I don't disagree.

I think you're right.

They do have a lot of kids.

You know, people just love having children, right?

That's all it is.

Hey, once again to them.

Thumbs up to them, Mike.

Thumbs up to them.

And shout out to the woman who has all those goddamn gyms.

Yeah, that's.

That's the real hero, bro.

Like, any woman that has seven kids for you, they must never.

Like, you need to make sure that they're the queen of life everywhere.

But it's hard because they really are into their kids.

For sure.

I understand that.

But she should never want for nothing.

Well, they don't.

Usually, people that have big families like that, that.

It's.

It's a very traditional thing.

It's just like, the dude goes out and.

And provides everything, and the woman stays home and makes it all work.

Yeah.

And she wants for nothing.

She just.

Her whole world is taken for granted.

A little bit of it.

Because she doesn't have to make any money.

The money's always there.

If she wants the credit card, you give her the damn credit card.

True.

Like, if she wants to go get her hair done one day, let her go get her done.

Like.

Like, see?

And stuff.

So, like, I appreciate that.

Like, you know, it's.

It's interesting because, like, if you let the day's world tell you, we have a lot of women out here who just want the glitz, the glamour, ain't trying to do no goddamn work.

And I know that's not true.

That's more than 1 percenters or maybe 2 percenters.

You know, there are a lot of women out here who want to raise their kids right.

They want to have kids.

They want to have a football team, you know, and they want to just love kids.

And their man, their husband should be making sure that he is doing what the damn thing he's supposed to be doing.

Like, and then what happens is some bullshit happens, and somebody ends up cheating on each other.

Like, I don't see it.

Why does it always have to go through this dark place with you?

It was so nice.

And then he said.

And then somebody started cheating.

What in the world, man?

I mean, look, man, people.

People cheat for a lot of different reasons, from what I understand.

Like, this was not the conversation, sir.

You're right.

Because black men don't cheat.

So, like, oh, wow.

Okay, okay.

Hey, I Didn't say that.

Carlos Miller said that.

But that's not true either because I know some black men who have he.

But you know, it's just one of those things like yeah man, let's.

We'll.

We'll stay unhappy and stuff and before we get into the topic today, we're kind of talking about it, but I do want to segue off to something a little bit more important because at least I think this is important, bro.

Make it make sense, right?

We won a war, but we didn't.

And we gave a ceasefire.

And then we told these they had 48 hours to either agree or we gonna blow your up and then we stop it.

And then apparently, you know, word on the street, I. I haven't watched enough CNN in the last 72 hours to verify.

So tell me if I wrong but from what I. I've read, they are making demands to us.

But we won the war.

Make it make sense.

Ad.

Make it make sense.

Number one.

I can't.

Okay.

I just wanted.

That's all.

That's all we need.

We can go to the next topic.

I. I just need.

I needed to hear that because.

No, everything that you said is absolute true.

There's some things that you're missing, but it doesn't matter because the, the, the gist of it all is what you said.

Go ahead.

Yeah, like.

Look man, I don't know about you, but I think the fundamental part of winning is like being ahead of somebody.

Like knowing that you are like you are overwhelmingly better than them or just even better than on that day.

Right?

That's winning.

Cease firing ourselves and then we are going to.

Look, I get it.

The straight Hormuz and all that.

I understand it.

Do you?

I. I do.

I understand that.

Because.

Don't.

Because when you just talk about the straight of Hermuz.

Don't.

Don't take out the.

The American stupid out of this.

Oh, I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

If we were so much bigger and better than Iran, how are they holding us hostage with the waterway yet we won the war.

I hear what you're saying.

You're right.

Like, I'm just.

I mean, what.

Okay, I tell you what.

I, I thought I had answered the question.

You said I was conclusive.

But we're still talking about it.

I'm rhetorical right now.

Okay.

Okay.

Now it makes sense.

You just, you're just.

You just eventing right now.

Yeah, because.

Okay, understood.

I'm just.

I just.

My thought is I just wanted to make sure you were Part of the American public who has sense, like, because apparently there are a whole bunch of motherfuckers out there who don't have sense and don't understand how, how winning wars work.

I think you, you're, you're, you're taking it to a place in which it doesn't really exist.

On the surface, it doesn't make sense, but there's a lot of nuance that, you know, you're not talking about that in all honesty should never have to be talked about because it shouldn't be involved in this.

But it is.

And that's the fact that these people are not dumb.

These people have an agenda and these people have American hubris.

And that's why everything that you say is true and makes no sense.

But you're not really understanding the people that are involved.

Because honestly, if I'm the President of the United States, most presidents are really well read and they're, and they're usually really good at history.

They really have a lot of knowledge that way.

The first thing is I can't remember a country that was supposed to be larger, go into another country and make a decisive attack which rolls into a decisive victory.

Because as small as you think a country is, you can't, unless you're willing to go to the mattresses with it.

And when I say that, hit that little red button and turn that key.

Unless you're willing to do those things, it's not going to be in and out and you're victorious.

Now the second thing that history tells me is absolutely nobody has won a war that is overseas.

I can't recall one time where the majority of the people involved, the aggressor, went overseas without nuclear weapons and won a war.

I can't think of one.

Now, I could be wrong, but everything that I'm thinking about right now, it wasn't decisive.

Korea wasn't decisive.

Vietnam was a total loss that the American people tried to paint as a victory or at least, least a stalemate, which.

No, it wasn't.

Now we got an ass kick.

Absolutely.

But does that, is that the vibe that we get from Vietnam?

No, it's not, it's not, it's not.

Like take, take, take Russia for instance, when they went and, and they're doing, doing what they're doing now.

There's nothing decisive about that.

Not at all.

They're still getting killed over there.

Hnic.

Okay, that is the first thing I'm thinking about.

The second thing I'm thinking about is because of the structure that has been built in this country, we depend on foreign oil even though we can produce our own.

That means if we don't produce our own over decades we get really bad at producing our own oil.

We get really good at shipping it overseas or wherever it needs to go, but we still are really bad at producing our own oil.

That means if we said no, we don't need your oil, gas prices are going to go up like really high.

Like, you know, because they can produce more and get it to us faster than apparently we can produce our own.

Which is weird, but yes, it is.

Weird, but again, money makes people do dumb things.

Yes.

So since this, this dumb infrastructure is here, that means I have to continue to depend on foreign oil.

All the foreign oil is concentrated in one spot and all of the shipping for that oil is concentrated through one, basically a canal.

Yeah.

And so the last thing this HNIC wants to do is disturb any of this because there's no reason for it.

The third thing I'm thinking about is, you know, Iran can have all the uranium that they want, even uranium that is purpose built for nuclear weapons now.

And honestly when I think about it, why shouldn't, shouldn't they?

Everybody else has them, it's on their land.

Why not?

Why not?

And you know that leads me to this conclusion.

They can have them, but they probably won't use them because it's a complete stalemate.

If they let off a nuclear bomb, we all dance.

Exactly.

Because everybody else is going to let off theirs.

So either way, no matter how you slice them, it, it's a zero sum game.

So again I'll ask number one as a country, why can't they have nuclear weapons?

Number two, do you really think it's going to be a problem because the other, the other half of the world has them too?

Yeah, we worry about little punk ass Iran.

Why is it not okay for them to have them?

But really the only reason I'm saying any of this is because Iran was never a threat.

Threat.

It was never a threat.

Not ever.

So I'm like, they control the oil which ask Cuba how, how important oil is and if we can't get it, what are we doing?

They're not a threat to anybody.

They didn't declare war, they didn't commit a war crime.

They weren't the aggressor Anyway, did they kill some people and did they kill their own people and all this?

Sure, but we do it to no one.

No one, no one is innocent in all this stuff.

Everybody commits war crimes.

There's only a handful of countries that.

There's a handful of countries that do awful things that are never reprimanded and never have any comeuppance about it.

And we're one of them.

So I'm like, really?

What are we doing?

So as the hnic, I'm not in this war for any reason, but I am a black person that's in charge, okay?

I am not the people that are in charge.

Now, that's a different vibe altogether.

The things that they're trying to do or hide.

It makes absolute sense to me because I keep telling my wife, it's like when she hears Pete Hexseth, she thinks, this is new.

I say, baby, have you ever heard people talk talk in this country?

Well, I have.

And he sounds just like them, except he has the power to push the button or at least, you know, talk.

Somebody pushing something so close than we are, right?

The President of the United States, when I hear him talk, even at his grade level, when I hear him talk, he does not sound unlike everybody I might hear in every place I'm at at any given day, whether it be in the street, whether it be at work, all the things, all.

And all of those people have one thing in common.

Nothing is happening to them.

Nothing.

We need to do something about those Iranians.

Exactly.

And that's nice to say when you didn't, you know, you wake up one morning and there's a, you know, a 50 story building and you wake up the next morning and it's gone.

So we're 10,000 people in a big crater in the ground.

Yep.

You and it's not.

And is.

And you know, and now all of a sudden, it's raining oil.

How about that?

Something's on fire, can't be put out because the, the, the source of the flame is oil that's gushing out of a well.

We don't wake up to these atrocities.

We don't wake up to this horror.

That's why we talk the way we talk, and it's all awful.

So when you hear Hexa say it, I still feel like 60% of this country is like, yeah, America, okay.

But then things get serious.

When they start, we're going to reinstitute the draft.

That mean your grandson going to war?

How about them apples?

So, hey, I hear what you're saying, and for people that got common sense, like we were talking about 20 minutes ago, 30 minutes ago, about crack fiend.

When you hit a crack pipe, you are a different person.

All the people in D.C. right now that's wearing a red hat, they on crack, man.

They are human beings.

I'm telling you, they are human beings.

Yes, but they are not the same there.

I mean, just all you have to do is look at the policies that have been strict, the policies that have been instantiated, and all the things that they say publicly.

Just listen, just read.

Yeah.

I mean, how many times it's like, we're talking about this today.

It's just like insurance.

Just take one little thing, which is really not a little thing.

It's huge.

Now for me, it doesn't matter to me because I get my insurance through my job.

Everybody doesn't have that luggage, correct?

Very much so.

And I'm like, these people were paying, let's say a family of, say a family of three or four, say four, make it even, right?

They were paying, say 300amonth for health care through the Affordable Care act or Obamacare, whichever one you're familiar with.

And now you're telling me these same people are paying, you know, something north of $2,000?

Are you serious right now?

Yeah.

Even if they were paying a thousand, the next month, they're paying 2,000.

No one can afford that.

So now you have all these people out here with no health care or they're struggling to figure out, do I feed my kids or do I pay for something that I may or may not need?

Because honestly, you know, by and large, we're not sick every day.

We don't need a hospital every day.

But when, when you do, you do.

Yes.

And I'm like, and you know better.

Oh, we all do.

So I'm like, what are you doing?

You've made like.

I was telling Lauren, I was so upset.

We were talking about her job and the environment in which teachers exist.

This is not a sexist statement.

This is a reality.

By and large, teachers are female.

By and large, in that pool of talent are professionals.

Meaning they went to college for four years, six years, eight years, depending on, you know, what they were trying to do.

If you're trying to be a principal, you probably have a master's and a doctorate.

If you're a teacher, they're pushing you to, you know, to almost have to have a master's.

If you've been a teacher for five years.

I know you graduated from a four year school, so you're talking about professionals.

Now, there's two things going on here.

Number one, which is something that happened lately.

You have made these professionals not professionals.

You have just said the Department of Education means so little to this country that we are going to say that teachers aren't professionals.

Are you serious?

Number two, and this is the part where I want to, you know, give you.

You know, give.

Preface all of this with I'm not being sexist.

This is just a reality.

Okay.

Like I said, by and large, the teaching profession is female dominated.

Yep.

The only.

As far as I know and what I see, the only part of that pool of talent that can afford their own mortgage and a car and decent groceries in abundance and all the things that we should all be able to have and earn, start at.

Without.

Without a lot of tenure.

Probably start at a sensitive principle.

So that means that everybody below that gotta have a partner or a husband that's footing the bill for the rest of their lives because they don't make enough to be out here living like a normal human being.

Mm.

Because even, you know, some teachers that my wife works with have been there for 30 years without their husbands, their lives would look so much different.

That's trifling.

You have.

I'm gonna say this again.

You've.

You've at least been to school for four years.

At least.

And you mean to tell me 30 years later, after you graduate, you still gotta depend on a man.

Now, I'm not messing with the, you know, traditional nuclear family.

Love the traditional nuclear family.

That's not what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is you have some grown women out here that are.

That can lock in, that are educated and they care, but they can't live.

They can't.

They can't afford a mortgage and eat and have gas in their car at the same time.

Yeah.

Without no man.

Because again, we're.

The presumption is that the teaching profession is female dominated.

So what I'm saying to you is, like, this administration thinks that that has no value.

This administration are busy taking money, federal money away from school that can ill afford it.

Meanwhile, like you, one of your pet peeves, this whole voucher thing, you're funneling money to people who don't need it.

And I'm like.

And I know it's diabolical because it's hurting white kids.

It's one thing when it's hurting black and brown, that don't matter.

They living on the other side of the interstate.

They living on the other side of the interstate on Martin Luther King drive us through all the black people in it.

Exactly.

Medgar Evers Boulevard.

That's where they live.

Now this creeping death is crossing the interstate to where everybody in trouble.

Meanwhile, the upper 1% who can afford to send their kids anywhere are getting a break on tuition.

Come on, make it make sense.

Well, I just did.

Because it doesn't make sense if you're being rational and you're being fair and altruistic.

It makes all the sense in the world when you are singular in who you think deserves anything.

And you can play your public because they don't think certain people deserve anything.

But what they're not saying is all of this hurts everybody because racism and elitism is expensive.

Yep.

So going back to the original thing about this whole war, you have to understand who you're dealing with before you say make.

Make it make sense.

Because like the whole crack fiend thing, it's like you can't make those statements and judgments without being a crack fiend until you smoke crack and have to get off of it.

I don't want to hear what you have to say about that.

You ain't live that life.

And I'm never going to live that life if I can help it.

Exactly.

So again, you asked me to make it make sense and I said I can't.

Should have ended there because we.

We would probably never do that.

And I say probably because I don't know who I'd be if somebody said I could have a billion dollars if I just screw these people.

Because like, they say at work, look good from my house.

Word.

So there's your answer.

That's my opinion and answer to your question.

Thank you.

And just to finish it out, the last four presidents, Presidents before this one never went to a war with Iran.

That would be baby Bush, Obama, Biden in the first term of Trump.

So, yeah, we're gonna just leave that right there for you.

Just in case you didn't know.

And you know, man, we don't have to get into that other conversation next week.

And now for a commercial break.

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Have a great one and back to the show.

But, ag, what's on your mind?

Chuck E. Cheese need do better, man.

Chuck E. Cheese is trifling, bruh.

That's so random.

Yo, man.

Little grandson today, man.

Chuck E. Cheese is trifling, bruh.

All right.

My little, little grandbaby had a little birthday today, and we went to Chuck E. Cheese.

Now, how old is grandbaby?

He turned 4 today.

Did they scare the out of him, bro?

He was crying, man.

That little mouse came out there.

Oh, my.

Anyway, that's a whole nother.

So let me get back to you, right?

Ain't no preparation for that.

It's a big rat, homie.

It's a big rat.

Well, let me.

Let me go back.

So, because I had a point now.

We had a birthday for his third.

His third birthday party was at Chuck E. Cheese also.

Same Chuck E. Cheese right there in him Hampton off of Big Bethel.

So.

And I remember the pizza being kind of good.

I said, okay.

And I'm like, all right.

That's what's up.

You know, you bring a little cake, do everything.

They served a piece of tea.

It's kind of cool for whatever they paid.

And then when you leave, you ain't got to clean up nothing.

People ain't, you know, traipsing through your house, whatever.

So it's cool.

Well, we got there today.

Service was mediocre, which I'm like, whatever.

But when I ate the pizza.

Have you ever had chicken with no spice or no salt on it?

Like, have you ever had that before?

Yeah, that's how that pizza tastes.

And you eat pizza so often in this country, you have a certain expectation.

Chuck E. Cheese, even Matt Nash would taste something different.

Nah, man, it don't taste like nothing.

How you have a processed meat that don't taste like nothing?

How you have dough that don't taste like nothing?

It tastes like a shoe.

I'm like, this is triped.

They out here just breaking these little kids hearts, man.

I mean, the kids.

I saw.

I saw more pizza crust left on the plate with no sauce and no pepperoni on it.

The kids know what's up.

And that Crust is the best part.

And man, not in Chuck E. Cheese, that rat is making a killing because they ain't giving you nothing and they charging you.

So I'm like, bruh, I was like.

I looked at my wife, I said, boo, boo, that pizza was awful.

She said, you ain't said nothing but a word.

And we love pizza.

She loves pizza more than me.

That's saying a lot.

Yeah, I mean, she.

She just.

I mean, she'll be a prostitute.

Peace.

And I'm like.

She was like, yeah, I'm good, man.

I was like, bruh, what are we doing to these kids?

I mean, the level of letdown that we.

That I experienced today was cold blooded.

Like, I think my little grandbaby ain't got.

Got a piece of his soul was stolen today, but he ain't gonna know about it till later, bruh.

It's awful.

And to make matters worse, apparently you can order a really nice Neapolitan pizza because I saw it in the back.

That sounds so disgusting.

Huh?

That sounds so disgusting.

Well, I'm sure it looked great.

It looked good.

I'm probably ice cream Neapolitan pizza.

Well, it's kids, bro.

That's a whole nother thing.

But anyway, what I'm saying is I just feel like the Chuck E. Cheese that you and I grew up with, and we're on our 50s, so that kind of gives you context.

The Chuck E. Cheese that you and I grew up with and the Chuck E. Cheese that we subject our kids to now, it should be a crime, bro.

It should be a hate crime.

I mean, it's like, it's like if.

If there was a.