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So many entrepreneurs blur the line between follow up and nurturing, and it’s costing them sales, relationships, and clarity. When you treat everyone like a lead or everyone like a long-term nurture, you end up either pushing too hard or never asking for the sale at all. Most service providers are overcomplicating this simply because they don’t have a clear sales process or pipeline in place.
In this episode of The Real Truth About Business, Michelle breaks down the exact difference between follow up and nurture, how to know which one someone belongs in, and why mixing the two is the fastest way to tank conversions. She explains the role of timing, buying signals, relationship building, and direct outreach, and gives practical examples of what each should look like inside your customized sales process. This episode is your roadmap for cleaner communication, stronger relationships, and more consistent sales.
Whether you’re a coach, consultant, OBM, VA, designer, copywriter, or ADHD entrepreneur, this conversation will help you take the confusion out of your pipeline so you can finally follow up with confidence and nurture with intention.
You’ll learn:
- The clear difference between a follow up and a nurture touch point
- How to know exactly which bucket a contact belongs in
- Why combining nurture and follow up kills conversions
- What effective follow up looks like without being salesy
- How to build a relationship through nurture without losing the sale
- Why a defined sales process makes every outreach easier
This is the real truth about business growth, especially for neurodivergent service providers who crave clarity, structure, and results without falling for every trend online.
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Here's your Next Steps:
- Take the "Where's the Gap in Your Business Strategy" Quiz
- Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn, Instagram, Threads or Facebook
- Visit my website to learn more and apply for the Focused Visionary Accelerator
- Sign up for my newsletter - Sunday Morning Brew - delivered every Sunday at 6 am
About the Host:
Michelle DeNio is a business strategist and growth advisor for service-based entrepreneurs, especially neurodivergent and ADHD business owners. Creator of the Focused Visionary Accelerator and host of The Real Truth About Business podcast, she helps clients simplify, focus, and grow sustainably. With 15+ years in business operations, she’s known for turning big ideas into simple, profitable action plans.
Transcripts
Hello.
Speaker A:Hello, my friends.
Speaker A:Welcome back to the Real Truth about Business.
Speaker A:I hope everybody's having a fabulous day.
Speaker A:If this is the first time you're listening to this show, welcome.
Speaker A:I appreciate you.
Speaker A:I am happy you're here.
Speaker A:And if you are a loyal listener, thank you.
Speaker A:I appreciate you.
Speaker A:I'm happy you're here.
Speaker A:We're diving in today about follow up versus nurturing your contacts, your leads, your pipeline, your audience.
Speaker A:This is a question that came up in the mastermind.
Speaker A:And so when questions like this come up in my mastermind, I feel like they are a great opportunity for me to expand further on them.
Speaker A:Because if one person has this question, likely you have it as well.
Speaker A:Follow up versus nurture.
Speaker A:So the question came up of, you know, having a pipeline.
Speaker A:So if you listen back a couple episodes, we talked about having a customized sales process, creating a sales process unique to you.
Speaker A:And in that, um, a couple of the steps that we talked about was like, follow up and then nurture.
Speaker A:And there was some confusion on, like, when do you put somebody in the follow up bucket?
Speaker A:When do you put them into nurture?
Speaker A:What's the difference?
Speaker A:What do you say?
Speaker A:Aren't they the same?
Speaker A:Whatever.
Speaker A:And so I want to kind of dive into a little bit the differences when and how to do each and where they, you know, what is relevant and what's not.
Speaker A:Okay, so we are talking today.
Speaker A:So follow up.
Speaker A:The difference to me about follow up is the biggest distinct difference is follow up is somebody who you have identified as a specific lead to your services.
Speaker A:They have said, I am interested in working with you or I may be interested in this.
Speaker A:I'm going to keep you in mind for xyz, right?
Speaker A:So in your conversation, in any, maybe in your content, if they've replied to your emails, if they have given you any inclination that they are a lead, then they are somebody you follow up with.
Speaker A:If you have had conversation with them, they have not basically said, like, I need you, I'm interested in working with you.
Speaker A:I'd love to hear more.
Speaker A:But there's somebody that you think would be an ideal client.
Speaker A:There's somebody that you feel like would be a great referral partner, a good strategic partner, something of that sort.
Speaker A:You would nurture them.
Speaker A:So they are not a lead yet.
Speaker A:All right, so biggest difference is, is following up is an immediate and direct action taking after that you would take after a lead has shown some interest.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It's a direct response.
Speaker A:It's following up with them.
Speaker A:And then there's nurturing a lead which is, you know, More relationship building.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Providing value, staying in touch, staying top of mind, um, that type of stuff.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So that's your biggest difference is following up, lead specific following up.
Speaker A:Think of it as conversion sale versus nurturing.
Speaker A:Is nurturing building relationship.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:One is more short term, one is long term.
Speaker A:However, following up, you know, if you've.
Speaker A:I used to, I have a.
Speaker A:My three to one system is like three new connections.
Speaker A:It's in my coffee chats to clients bundle, but it's three, two, one.
Speaker A:So three new, three new reach outs, two follow ups, one visibility.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so follow up again, it can be a little sticky on the other because for me it's start the conversation, continue the conversation and then obviously amplify the comfort com conversation.
Speaker A:I don't know why I'm stuttering today.
Speaker A:Maybe I've had too much coffee.
Speaker A:I just had another cup of coffee.
Speaker A:So sorry, bear with me.
Speaker A:But so my point here is you're continuing this conversation.
Speaker A:It's how you're continuing the conversation that is different.
Speaker A:Whether or not you are following up or nurturing.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But either way you're continuing a conversation that was previously started.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So the difference is, let's talk about some differences.
Speaker A:Like one is more immediate and one is more long term.
Speaker A:So I want you to think of follow up.
Speaker A:So if you want to differentiate them, like if you have your sales process, right?
Speaker A:So your sales process is initial reach out and then for me it's initial reach out and then coffee chat scheduled.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So for most of us.
Speaker A:Or discovery call.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So maybe it's a discovery call from there.
Speaker A:That is when I would take them down either one of these paths.
Speaker A:So from that call, whether it's a coffee chat, a discovery call, et cetera, where do they go?
Speaker A:Are they a follow up?
Speaker A:Because they are a lead.
Speaker A:Meaning like the next time you launch a program, the next time you have an opening for one to one.
Speaker A:Like I had somebody tell me recently, can you follow up with me May 1st?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:They go in as a lead in my process, in my pipeline, they are marked as a lead.
Speaker A:If we've just had a wonderful conversation, it's something that I think, you know what, eventually I think we could work together or I'd love to collaborate with them or they could be a straight, a great strategic partner.
Speaker A:Then they go into my pipeline as a nurture.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Meaning let's continue to build this relationship.
Speaker A:So follow up usually has like an a deadline.
Speaker A:It's a transactional based.
Speaker A:Action, Right.
Speaker A:It's usually something that is Scheduled, like for conversion.
Speaker A:And it's much more short term, right?
Speaker A:You're some people follow up for years and years and you know, I'm a big fan of that.
Speaker A:But at some point then you would move them from follow up to nurture, right?
Speaker A:So if it's not a immediate or within a 30 to 90 day window, I would say it's a nurture, right?
Speaker A:So your follow up, you want to be fairly close to the day.
Speaker A:You know, you don't want to set up a follow up for a year from now.
Speaker A:To me, that's a nurture, right?
Speaker A:So follow up is a transaction.
Speaker A:It's much more short term, it's immediate and then transactional versus relational, right?
Speaker A:Like are you looking to do a transaction with that person or are you looking to build a relationship with that person?
Speaker A:Now there's always an argument that says you want to do both, right?
Speaker A:You want to build the relationship.
Speaker A:And so this is where you might need to build the relationship first you need to nurture them a little bit and then follow up, right?
Speaker A:So it's really, again, this is so customized, but just knowing where they're at in your sales process.
Speaker A:This is why I talk so much about creating and having a defined sales process for your own business, so that you can create a pipeline of people and you know exactly where they're at.
Speaker A:You can look at it and say, who am I following up with as a lead and who am I following up with on a relationship?
Speaker A:Who am I trying to build a deeper relationship with?
Speaker A:Maybe you're trying to build a relationship with them or nurture them because you want to be on their podcast or you want them to be on your podcast or you think there might be a good opportunity for guest expert, something of that sort, right?
Speaker A:Like you're building a relationship with them.
Speaker A:And then the other big difference between follow up and nurture, in my opinion is again, the direct message style versus more content or content marketing.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So like if you're following up with a lead, I would do that in a direct message, whether it's a dm, private dm, whether it's an email, whether you text them, call them, but it's direct outreach, okay.
Speaker A:And it's not to say you can't nurture somebody in direct outreach.
Speaker A:I feel like I keep contradicting myself because they are so close together and there's like, there's such a fine line between them, but it's really about knowing where they're at in your process.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But then nurturing a lot of times Nurturing is where I say content amplifies your conversation.
Speaker A:Remember you've already had a conversation with them.
Speaker A:Now your content is amplifying that conversation because now they're reading it with, through a different lens, you know, especially if they're on your email list.
Speaker A:It's one thing to put a cold, a cold audience person on your email list and then now all of a sudden they're a warm audience.
Speaker A:Now they're going to read your emails a little bit differently.
Speaker A:They're more likely to open them, they're more likely to share it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:That's nurturing.
Speaker A:You can also nurture through direct message.
Speaker A:I do that often in a way like if I see somebody's got a new launch coming up or maybe they have a birthday or their grandkids birthday or their kid's birthday or the kids first day of school or something exciting happening where they, they were on a podcast, something of that sort, you can send a direct message saying oh my gosh, it was so like how exciting.
Speaker A:I'd love to see it.
Speaker A:I'd love to see that you got featured on that podcast or I saw that you just attended podfast.
Speaker A:How was it?
Speaker A:I've been dying to go to that, something of that sort.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So you can do nurturing, indirect message.
Speaker A:You can get them back on another call.
Speaker A:My favorite way to nurture, if you've ever done a coffee chat with me or likely if you've done a coffee chat recently, one of my favorite ways to nurture is to send a nice card.
Speaker A:I love to send cards in the mail and I get a beautiful response from it and people really feel seen and heard, right.
Speaker A:And I'll probably do a separate episode on relationship marketing through like mail and direct mail because I do love it and it does work.
Speaker A:So but that's a, that's a nurture touch point.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:It may lead to a follow up, but it's a nurture touch point.
Speaker A:Okay, so when, when do you know?
Speaker A:Like when do you know what to do?
Speaker A:When do you know?
Speaker A:What's the difference?
Speaker A:Okay, so when to follow up?
Speaker A:When a lead takes a specific action indicating their interest in you, right?
Speaker A:Like if they have said I'm interested in this service, right?
Speaker A:That is a follow up.
Speaker A:If they've not shown any interest in your service, nurture them because maybe they're just not interested right now.
Speaker A:It doesn't mean never, it means not right now.
Speaker A:Or it means maybe there needs to be a deeper relationship that is built.
Speaker A:So don't overcomplicate this.
Speaker A:But Just know.
Speaker A:And you can toggle people between the two.
Speaker A:I do that a lot.
Speaker A:Like I'll move them from, you know, nurture to follow up, to nurture to follow up, nurture to follow up.
Speaker A:Because again, you never know.
Speaker A:You may follow, follow up with somebody and they may say, you know what, I just can't cut it this round.
Speaker A:I'm still not ready.
Speaker A:And so maybe you move them to nurture and then because they say I need another six months or follow up with me in the fall.
Speaker A:So maybe you spend all summer long nurturing them and then you move them back to follow up.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because you have another launch and then you start with follow up again.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So you.
Speaker A:It's really understanding that if you're going to follow up, I think too the thing I really want you to remember is if you're going to follow up asking for the sale, ask for the sale.
Speaker A:The biggest thing people hate is when you combine follow up and nurture.
Speaker A:Hey Michelle, I saw you were a podfest.
Speaker A:What's new in your world?
Speaker A:Love ya, it's great to see ya.
Speaker A:Tell me what's new and exciting.
Speaker A:Oh, by the way, I'm also getting ready to launch such, you know, just wanted to see if maybe it's something you're interested in.
Speaker A:No, do not combine them.
Speaker A:If you're going to follow up, ask for the sale.
Speaker A:Follow up.
Speaker A:Be direct.
Speaker A:Be very clear on what you're saying.
Speaker A:You know, don't be afraid.
Speaker A:Oh, I don't want to be too direct.
Speaker A:I need to soften them up.
Speaker A:No, you don't.
Speaker A:People hate small talk.
Speaker A:Go ask anybody.
Speaker A:What they hate most about follow up is they hate that small talk when they know it's going to lead to something.
Speaker A:Especially when you get those direct messages like, hey, Michelle, haven't chatted with you in a while.
Speaker A:Tell me what's new.
Speaker A:Then you tell them what's new.
Speaker A:And next thing you know they're like, oh my God, that's awesome.
Speaker A:I wanted to reach out to you and because, you know, it's so friggin icky, people hate it.
Speaker A:Just don't do it.
Speaker A:So do not combine them.
Speaker A:That is like my biggest, biggest piece of advice that I can give you between the two.
Speaker A:It's okay to go and bounce between the two of follow up, nurture, follow up, nurture, like I mentioned before, but do not combine them.
Speaker A:If you're going to follow up, ask for the sale.
Speaker A:If you're going to nurture and build a relationship, then keep it relational.
Speaker A:Do not ask for a Sale in the middle of like asking them how their kids first day of school was or whatever it is, right?
Speaker A:Like it's just shitty.
Speaker A:It's just shitty.
Speaker A:So don't do that.
Speaker A:Know when and where your clients are and where your prospects are.
Speaker A:And this is again, I'm going to keep harping on it.
Speaker A:Why you need to have a sales process and a sales pipeline so that it's very easy for you to do these money making activities.
Speaker A:You can see very clearly, okay, I am like if I look at my pipeline right now, I know exactly who is a lead, I know exactly when I'm supposed to follow up with them and I know exactly what service they're interested in, right?
Speaker A:So I know how to follow up with them and I know exactly what I need to say.
Speaker A:As far as nurture, that might require a little bit of research, right?
Speaker A:Like hey, I've got this person in my nurture, I haven't seen their content in a while, I don't know what's going on.
Speaker A:So maybe I need to actually do a little bit of research, go check out, see what's happening in their world.
Speaker A:But again, it could be, you could nurture people through an email newsletter.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be one to one, right?
Speaker A:Nurture does not have to be one to one.
Speaker A:Private messaging or individual reach out.
Speaker A:Nurturing can be through your content.
Speaker A:It can be through hosting a masterclass, it can be through your email newsletter if you've got one.
Speaker A:There's a lot of ways to nurture.
Speaker A:Again, sending a nice card is a great way to nurture.
Speaker A:Understanding that nurturing is about building the relationship.
Speaker A:Follow up is about the transaction.
Speaker A:And that's, don't get me wrong and do not quote me wrong on this.
Speaker A:Do not quote like, oh, Michelle's all about transactional.
Speaker A:No, not at all.
Speaker A:You know, a hundred percent.
Speaker A:That is not my game.
Speaker A:That is not what I believe in.
Speaker A:But I do am in a firm believer.
Speaker A:As business owners, at some point we have to convert, right?
Speaker A:Businesses run on sales and so what I'm doing not going to do is say, oh, follow up and beat around the bush and you know, just warm them up and butter them up and ask them, you know, kind of keep it gray.
Speaker A:Like, oh yeah, that's really awesome.
Speaker A:I'm so excited that you've got this new program.
Speaker A:I'm really excited too because I've got something new I'm getting ready to launch.
Speaker A:No, right.
Speaker A:Like if you want them to be a part of the program and you think it's a good fit for them and you want to follow up with them based on interest that they have shown.
Speaker A:Then do the due diligence, do your work, be a business owner, step up and ask for the sale.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:It is not about looking at them like a number.
Speaker A:It is not about not building a relationship with them.
Speaker A:It's not about any of that.
Speaker A:But businesses run on sales and revenue.
Speaker A:You have to have those transactions in order to run a successful and profitable business.
Speaker A:So understand when it's time to have the transaction and when it's time to build the relationship.
Speaker A:That's the difference between the two.
Speaker A:That's the biggest difference.
Speaker A:So as you're looking at it and, and as you're looking at your people of who you want to follow up with and who's in your pipeline, ask yourself that question, have they shown interest?
Speaker A:Do I have a specific ask for them?
Speaker A:If not, how can I continue to build this relationship?
Speaker A:That's it, right?
Speaker A:So keep it very simple.
Speaker A:But they are very different, right?
Speaker A:Simplify your process, but know exactly what you need to do with each person.
Speaker A:That's where you're going to actually convert more sales.
Speaker A:Where you might struggle with conversion is when you're trying to follow up with somebody, but you're nurturing the shit out of them.
Speaker A:And you're never asking for the sale.
Speaker A:You're never following up, you're never asking for the transaction.
Speaker A:Or maybe you're doing too much transactionally.
Speaker A:Maybe you're following up with them constantly asking for the sale.
Speaker A:And you've never nurtured them.
Speaker A:You've never ever nurtured them.
Speaker A:You've just went jumping right in following up, right?
Speaker A:So look at your process, be honest with yourself about this and see, like, is there a.
Speaker A:If I've.
Speaker A:Have I kind of crossed the boundaries here?
Speaker A:Have I crossed the lines between follow up and nurture?
Speaker A:And is that costing me conversions?
Speaker A:Is that costing me relationships?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:Again, all of this is data.
Speaker A:This is all information.
Speaker A:I followed up with these three people.
Speaker A:This is how I followed up.
Speaker A:This is what my results were.
Speaker A:I've been nurturing this person for six months.
Speaker A:I followed up after six months and this was my result, right?
Speaker A:I have these people in my pipeline.
Speaker A:Maybe you don't know, maybe that's your action step is to actually go and create your pipeline, your sales process.
Speaker A:And if you haven't listened to that episode, go back and listen to that episode on creating your sales process, because it's going to walk you through the steps.
Speaker A:And if you sign up for the Sunday Morning Brew, there was a PDF that went with that episode on what the different steps and stages in a sales process are.
Speaker A:So anyway, your take action tip right now, what are you taking action on is you're going to go through your leads, your pipeline, your people, your prospects, your audience, whatever you want to call them, you're going to go through and you're going to identify who, who needs to be followed up with and who needs to be nurtured.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Separate them, make that differentiator and figure that out.
Speaker A:And then your next step is to actually go take action.
Speaker A:Go follow up with them or go nurture them.
Speaker A:What can you do to nurture them?
Speaker A:Maybe it's just sending out an email.
Speaker A:When now granted, if you've not sent out an email in forever, don't just send out an email with asking for the sale, okay?
Speaker A:Send out an email with some type of piece of high value content.
Speaker A:Give them something, reach out, ask them how they're doing.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like go and actually nurture them again, do not cross them, Keep them separated.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So that's your action tip for the day.
Speaker A:Thank you for being here.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:You are loved.
Speaker A:I believe in you and I'll talk to you later.
