In today’s episode, Lisa discusses a wide range of challenges that family members and caregivers struggle with when faced with dementia.  Many of the highlights of this episode include:             

• The emotional distress of watching a loved one’s mental faculties decline.    
• The communication difficulties that accompany living with dementia.
• The behavioral changes that are exhibited with dementia.
• The role reversal that is common between spousal partners and adult children of those living with dementia.  
• Navigating the healthcare system.     
• The importance of self-care.
• How and where to find invaluable resources.
• And, much, much,more…don’t miss this informative episode!

About the Host:

Author Lisa Skinner is a behavioral specialist with expertise in Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia. In her 30+year career working with family members and caregivers, Lisa has taught them how to successfully navigate the many challenges that accompany this heartbreaking disease. Lisa is both a Certified Dementia Practitioner and is also a certified dementia care trainer through the Alzheimer’s Association. She also holds a degree in Human Behavior.

Her latest book, “Truth, Lies & Alzheimer’s – Its Secret Faces” continues Lisa’s quest of working with dementia-related illnesses and teaching families and caregivers how to better understand the daunting challenges of brain disease. Her #1 Best-seller book “Not All Who Wander Need Be Lost,” was written at their urging. As someone who has had eight family members diagnosed with dementia, Lisa Skinner has found her calling in helping others through the struggle so they can have a better-quality relationship with their loved ones through education and through her workshops on counter-intuitive solutions and tools to help people effectively manage the symptoms of brain disease. Lisa Skinner has appeared on many national and regional media broadcasts. Lisa helps explain behaviors caused by dementia, encourages those who feel burdened, and gives practical advice for how to respond.

So many people today are heavily impacted by Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. The Alzheimer's Association and the World Health Organization have projected that the number of people who will develop Alzheimer's disease by the year 2050 worldwide will triple if a treatment or cure is not found. Society is not prepared to care for the projected increase of people who will develop this devastating disease. In her 30 years of working with family members and caregivers who suffer from dementia, Lisa has recognized how little people really understand the complexities of what living with this disease is really like. For Lisa, it starts with knowledge, education, and training.

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Welcome back to another brand new episode of the truth, lies and Alzheimer's show. I'm Lisa Skinner, your host and family members definitely struggle with having a family member and or caring for a family member living with Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. So I thought a good thing to talk about today would be what they actually struggle with the most when dealing with dementia. So one of the very difficult aspects of going through this journey with a loved one is the emotional distress that it brings on. Watching a loved one's mental faculties decline can definitely be emotionally distressing for family members. What family members may experience are feelings of grief, helplessness, frustration, and sadness as they witnessed the changes the ongoing and progressive changes in their loved ones. There are inevitably communication difficulties, because dementia can affect a person's ability to communicate effectively, leading to misunderstandings, confusion, and frustration for both the individual with dementia and their family members. This also includes caregivers in the mix as well. We see a lot of behavioral changes with dementia, people with dementia may exhibit and often do changes in behavior. We see aggression, we see agitation, we see wandering and we see paranoia. Family members can struggle to manage these behaviors and to ensure the safety and well being of their loved one. I mean, that's a lot to deal with. One of the challenges that is difficult and awkward for family members is the role reversal that they may find themselves in a with family members living with dementia, they may find themselves in the position of becoming caregivers for their loved one with dementia, which can lead to a significant shift in roles and responsibilities within the family. I have seen this frequently over the years with husbands and wives and also adult children with feeling that okay, this is my mom, this is my dad, and now I'm taking care of them. So it can be not only frustrating but very awkward. There are of course the financial and legal issues managing the financial and legal affairs of a person with dementia can be complex and overwhelming for the family members. They may need to navigate issues such as arranging for long term care, making decisions about property and assets and ensuring that their loved ones wishes are respected. And then there's taking time for yourself as a family member and or a caregiver. Because we know that family members and caregivers often neglect their own well being while caring for a loved one with dementia. But it's so important for you all to prioritize self care and seek support from other family members from friends, or support groups to prevent burnout and maintain your own health and well being and especially so you don't feel like the burden is completely on you. And then of course, there's navigating our healthcare system. Just understanding the health care system coordinating care. Advocating for your loved one with dementia can be so challenging for family members. You may need to communicate with health care providers and make difficult decisions about treatment options and ensure that your loved one is receiving the appropriate care and support. So what are some of the other challenges that family members tell me that they run right into the brick wall over Some of the feedback is the social isolation that comes with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, because it can be extremely time consuming, soothing. And as a lot of you probably have already discovered emotionally draining, which can obviously lead to social isolation. And for any family caregiver or caregiver in general, they may find it difficult to maintain relationships with friends and participate in social activities. And that can surely impact the mental health and well being of those folks. There's the guilt and self blame that comes with the role. Family members may experience feelings of guilt and self blame. questioning whether they're doing enough to help their loved one with dementia. They may also feel guilty about experiencing negative emotions, such as frustration or resentment toward the person with dementia. And one of the things that I've seen pretty consistently over the years, is family members feel compelled to want to fix their loved one, and do everything that they can, whether it's, you know, intentionally or consciously, for them to be okay for them to be better for them to be back the way they were before they developed the disease. There's a lot of decision making. And that can feel very overwhelming, especially in choosing a care facility again, that guilt tends to play a huge role because a lot of us feel and I've been in this position myself that we're letting our parents down or we're going against their wishes, even though we realize it just might be the best environment for them. It's, it's, especially we're living with dementia. So making end of life decisions, is a difficult thing. Managing financial matters. These decisions can take emotional toll on everybody and may lead to conflict among family members, boy have I seen that you can feel a loss of your own identity, you may struggle with that, as you prioritize the needs of your loved one with dementia, you may feel overwhelmed by the caregiving responsibilities and lose sight of your own goals, your own interests, your own aspirations. You may, as a result, suffer from physical health issues because of the toll that this role is taking on you. Leading to issues such as fatigue and sleep disturbances and chronic health conditions. It's so important for caregivers and family members to prioritize their own health and well being to prevent caregiver burnout. And then there is uncertainty about the future. We've talked about this before. This is a long course, to go through with a person living with Alzheimer's disease or related dementia. The average is four to eight years. My grandmother lived with her dementia for 20 years after we noticed the symptoms when they became obvious. And I've even heard of people living with it longer. So even if it's just the four year or the eight year, that's still a very, very, very long time to live with them with this day in and day out and all the challenges that you're faced on a day to day basis.

Family members and caregivers, without a doubt, may feel anxious and uncertain about the future as they witnessed the progression of their loved ones dementia. They may worry about how they will continue to provide care to make important decisions and cope with the challenges that lie ahead and then finding support. You may find it very difficult to access support and resources that you'll need to care for your loved one. Dementia, this could be due to financial constraints, lack of awareness about available services, or difficulty navigating your healthcare system. So having a support network is really important to, to have in your back pocket. So you're not feeling like you're doing this alone and you can get a break once in a while. So what are some of the options out there resources that are available to you for avoiding these challenges that will come up, because trust me, it takes a village. So one of the other obstacles is in balancing caregiving with some of your other responsibilities, you might find it challenging to balance your caregiving responsibilities with other obligations that are part of your life, such as work, parenting household chores, you may find yourself needing to juggle so many balls in the air with multiple roles and responsibilities, leading to feelings of overwhelm and stress that can turn into terrible resentment and guilt. You may experience feelings of resentment or guilt towards your loved one, your other family members who you don't feel are helping you out. And it just festers. Resentment may arise from the significant demands placed on the caregiver and the impact of their own life and well being. Coping with the grief and the loss that accompany losing your loved one, it's like you have to go you have to experience losing them twice with this disease. Once as they progress through the stages of the disease, where they no longer recognize you. They may have regressed back to a past time in their life. So you've lost the person that you once knew. And then eventually when they pass that can be devastating. So what are some resources that are available to everybody who is in this situation? Well, you could reach out to a local organization such as the Alzheimer's Association, senior centers, community health services, I inquire about support services available for caregivers of individuals with dementia, they are out there. These organizations often provide information resources, support groups and educational programs for you. Talk to your health care team involved in the care of a person with dementia. And this includes your doctors, nurses, social workers and therapists. They can offer you guidance on available support services, caregiver resources, medical interventions that may help improve the quality of life for both the caregiver and the person with dementia. Consider joining a support group for caregivers of individuals with dementia. Support groups can provide tremendous emotional support, practical advice and a sense of community with others who are going through similar experiences. These groups you can find them in person and they also are online, they're on Facebook. And please look into respite care for your family member is temporary relief for the caregiver. Respite Care Services can give caregivers and much needed break from their caregiving responsibilities give them a chance to recharge, allowing them to reset while ensuring that their loved one is in safe and supportive hands. There are caregiving training programs. And you might want to think about participating in one that offers education on dementia, communication strategies, stress management techniques, and sophisticated caregiving skills. These programs can definitely help caregivers develop the knowledge and skills needed to provide effective care for their loved one with dementia. It's really learning and new language. There are professional caregiving services out there, such as home care agencies, residential care facilities. These can all provide assistance with daily tasks personal care and medical needs. professional caregivers can offer support and relief for family members who may be feeling overwhelmed by their caregiving responsibilities. And again, please prioritize your own self care, make your self care a priority. And take time for yourself. I know that you're probably thinking, as I'm saying this, well, that's easier said than done. But engaging activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and seeking support from friends and family members are essential for maintaining your own health and well being as a caregiver. So I hope this has been very, very helpful for any of you who are in this role today. And going along in this journey with your loved one, if you're caregiving for somebody that lives with dementia, or if you end up in this role, these are all really, really important things to be prepared for, to plan for, and to know about. So that sums up our episode for today. I hope this has provided you with some really helpful and eye opening information. And that some of you have already been able to resonate with everything that I have mentioned today. So thanks again for being here. I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules to listen to me. And next week, of course, we'll bring you another new episode of the truth lies and Alzheimer's show. I'm Lisa Skinner, your host, and have a great week. And I am off to do a tech talk. Yes, I'm heading out for Canada. Today. As a matter of fact, I will be doing my very first TED talk on Saturday. So say stay tuned, we will keep you up to date on when that will be available for you to download on you to. So I'm really excited. I will be giving a talk about living with Alzheimer's and dementia. I think all of you would find it really interesting. And so I'm looking forward to being able to share that with you. So have a great week, and I'll talk to you next week. Thanks for being here. Bye bye.