Why You're Not Healing Despite Years of Personal Growth

Anytime you're rebelling against something, you are still being defined by it. And so when we talk about, like we were talking about, I need to be more high vibe, creates the in- inherent assumption that your vibe is too low, same idea, right? So you have to look at these sort of hiding assumptions that are underneath the things that you're using to define yourself.

And if you're not doing that, you're going to find that you're gonna have problems with making changes because the inherent assumptions that you're making as part of all this hard work you're doing may be holding you in place because you're not aware that that's what you're reinforcing, right? Did you know that it's possible to read your energy field and tell you exactly what psychic gifts you have innately within your energy, and also how well you're doing at using those gifts, how much of your potential you are using? If you're interested in this, come to kellesparta.com and click on the Psychic Gifts and Energetic Capacity Assessment.

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Welcome back to Spirit Sherpa, where spiritual practitioners learn to master their gifts, grow their businesses, and change lives. I'm your host, Kelle Sparta, spiritual business coach and transformational shaman. And today I wanna talk to you about why you're not healing despite years of doing your work.

And this is a topic that's near and dear to my heart because I see this happen so many times. I can't tell you how many times people have come into my practice and, uh, you know, they come in and they're like, "I've been in therapy for 20 years, and I, I don't feel like I've gotten very far." Uh, or, you know, "I've been in therapy for a year or two, and I'm not getting anywhere."

You know, that sort of thing. But the point is that people go in looking to do their work, and they just, they're not making progress, okay? So let me talk to you about the reason why you're not making progress. And before I do that, just remember please to like, subscribe, and share to this video. If you're enjoying the podcast so far, please write me a review, share it with a friend.

Anything you can do to help me would be greatly appreciated. So let's come back. What are we talking about with how we do our work but don't get anywhere, right? So there are several reasons why you do a lot of work and nothing changes, or things change and then you fall back, right? So the first thing you have to understand is that doing your work is not a single one-and-done process, okay?

Anytime you're working on your spiritual path, you're working in a spiral, and that spiral's gonna take you back around over and over and over again to the main issues that you have, which are the spokes that come out of the center of the spiral. So let's talk about first whether you're being fair to yourself about whether or not you've made progress.

Because oftentimes people will come to me and they will say, "Well, you know, I did this work. I did this work. I should be done." Okay, but think of your work like layers of an onion. If you have done the outside layer and you peel that away, and you get back around that l- this... Let's overlay the spiral on that onion, right?

You're going deeper and deeper into that onion. When you get back around that spoke, that spike that's coming out of that onion, right, you're going to be dealing with that same issue again. You're just gonna be dealing with it at, at a deeper level, right? So the first thing you have to ask yourself is, am I being too hard on myself?

Am I actually making progress, but I'm not giving myself credit for it because I'm coming back to the issue, and therefore I'm saying I didn't do the work? Okay? Because fact is, you will come back to that same issue over and over again until you're done with it. And that done with it will take many, many, many passes for many...

For, you know, any major issue, right? Minor issues you could clear in the first round, but anything that's hard, hard-won, long-held, traumatic, anything like that, it's gonna take multiple passes to get through it, and that's just the nature of the beast. And so setting your expectation that it's gonna be one and done is unfair to you.

And so if you are doing the work and then hitting it at a deeper level, you're okay. There's no problem there, right? You're actually doing the work. It's just you're at the next level, right? So now let's talk about the time where you have a huge breakthrough. Let's say you went to a retreat, and you had this massive breakthrough in it, and everything fell away, and, ugh, massive enlightenment, and you felt so much better, and then you came home, and boom, everything closed back down.

And suddenly all the progress that you made seems to be gone, right? What happened there, okay? So part of what happened is you were outside of your normal environment, therefore you were unshuttered by the roles that you play in your day-to-day life. And when you were unshuttered by that, and you were entrained with the energy in the space that was being held for you and with the people around you, and you had a sense of feeling safe, which may or may not exist at home, then you were able to break out of the entrenched you and see what that next level held for you.

And you stood in that energy for a while, while you were there, and maybe even managed to hold it for a bit when you got home, but then slowly it just eroded and collapsed, right? This is a common occurrence, especially when people are going to workshops or retreats or things like that, because again, you're stepping out of your role.

This is one of the benefits of doing a retreat is that it gets you out of your environment so that you can do this, right? The key is how do you hold it, right? So The, once you've stepped out of your environment, your roles, your, y- and stepped into a place of safety, and you've seen that next level, right?

And then you come home, and home holds a lot of challenges when we come back, right? So this has actually been studied in psychology, that when you travel and then you come back, y- there's a depression that hits, a post-travel depression that hits, because you're not the person who was free to do whatever you wanted in whatever timeframe you wanted, without any restrictions, without any responsibilities, without anything, that you were that person while you were on vacation.

And then you come home, and you're now having to step back into the less exciting, more responsibility, higher role-based environment, and you feel smaller. And you are smaller because, you know, you've made a lot of choices that you are making consistently, and so the larger, wide open field is not as large and wide open because you've already made a lot of the choices, right?

And so that's something that happens when you travel just to begin with. Now, add onto that when you've done personal growth work, when you've done some evolution, when you've done some energy shift, when you've gotten all yummy and happy and uh, right? And you've stepped into that new you and, "Ah, look at me, I'm amazing.

I love me in this space, and this is awesome." And then you go home, and you've got the same old job, you've got business or a spouse or partner or, you know, the kids and the role and the parents and the day-to-day life and the mortgage or the rent, and ah, nah. "Damn, and now I have to be this person again, and I don't like it.

I don't want it." But that's who you know how to be in that space, right? And so- You try to hold onto that new identity, but it ultimately collapses back because you haven't figured out how to be that person in that environment. And so, you know, this is something that you will come across multiple times in your journey.

It-- this is gonna happen for every identity shift that you go through, and so it's important to learn how to navigate this and how to hold onto it. Now, there are some inherent resistances that come into play on this as well. Sometimes we jump into that new way of being, and we exceed our sphere of assimilation.

We jump in, and we're like, "Wow, this is, this version of me is really big, and I don't know how to be this person, and I'm a little overwhelmed and scared by it, and I don't know how to hold it." Even before you go home, sometimes that happens, right? You're just like, "What do I do?" And in that case, you may go into amnesia where you completely forget that you had the experience, and people may come to you and say, "Oh my God, that thing that happened to you," and you're like, "What?

What are you talking about? I don't remember that." That's amnesia, and that amnesia can cause you to fall back, okay? So that's one thing that could happen, and the second thing that could happen is the overwhelm of the established pattern of identity that you step into when you step into your home, right?

And so, you know, this is another reason why identity shift can be so hard is because the people around us want us to stay as the person that we are in the moment that we start, right? Or in the moment that we're with them because this is who they expect us to be. This is the person that they have a relationship with, and if you change who that person is, then they have to think about how do they readjust the relationship, right?

The relationship is threatened because it's no-- the person that I had it with is no longer in existence. They've become someone new, right? And so in a lot of cases, the people around you are gonna pull you back. They're gonna say, "What? Who are you? What are you doing? This isn't who, how we are. This isn't who you are.

This isn't our agreement. This isn't what we're expecting." And that can actually cause a lot of problems. Even if that's not the case, even if you... Let's say you live alone, and you run your own business, and so there's nobody on the outside other than friends and family who are impacting you, right? Even if that's the case, then you can still have your own sense of identity.

So you-- who are you as a business owner? Who are you in your day-to-day life? Who are you as a person? And does that person jive with the person that you became and then tried to bring home, right? Because a lot of times we don't think about it, but that is the problem, right? And we are used to, we have a comfort zone in being that person.

And so that will pull us out of the evolutionary process, right? So I feel like I've beaten that horse for a while. Let's go on to the next thing. So the next piece of the puzzle is what happens if you're really working hard but not actually making progress, right? So you didn't have the big aha, you didn't have the s- the, you know, I solved it at this level, and now I'm hitting the next level, and I'm not giving myself credit for that.

You actually are not making progress, okay? What is causing that? Okay, in a lot of cases, the reason that's happening, uh, there are, there's a couple reasons why that happens, but the, there's a reason... The first reason I wanna talk about is that you are actually resisting the change, okay? So you'll, you'll do what looks like the work, but not do the actual work, okay?

So I'll tell you how this looks, and the easiest way to describe this is in business, okay? So I see a lot of spiritual practitioners doing a lot of activity, but actually making no progress. And so what that would look like is I'm writing a lot of posts, but I'm not posting them, okay? That is a lot of activity, but no progress.

That's exactly how it works when you're doing your personal growth work, where you're doing all the activity but not doing the thing that implements it into your life. And so it's the thinking about it, the analysis paralysis, the getting ready to get ready, the, the, oh, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna analyze it to the point where I'm going to fall over from all the analysis, right?

I'm gonna write 15 pages about this thing. Okay, great, but then what are you doing to implement it, right? Because until you start making changes at an identity level, the 15 pages of analysis is not gonna make a difference. Now, if you shift your perspective as a result of those 15 pages, then you may make some progress, right?

Because a perspective shift is part of an identity shift, right? Okay, great. But if you're not, if you're just analyzing to analyze and going, "Oh, well, this is why I do it," okay, great. This is why you do it. Okay, how do you not do it? That's the part that matters. When we ask ourselves the wrong questions, then we end up in these spin cycles that cause us to do a huge amount of work and get nowhere, right?

Okay. So that's one reason why we do our work and get nowhere. Another reason why we do our work, and we talk about this when we do our SEER readings, the Spiritual Evolution Energy Review readings, when we're reading people's chakras, right? So m- the other thing that happens is that you may be working on a symptom rather than the root cause, and we see this a lot in those readings.

We'll be like, "Okay, so you've got these six different blocks that are all related to this one core issue, and this, these two or three blocks are all symptoms of this one block here. And so there's absolutely no point in working on those symptoms because they're not gonna move until the root cause is addressed."

And so that is the other reason why you may not make progress, is that you're working on a symptom rather than a cause. And so you wanna be really careful to know what, what your symptoms are versus what are the causes of them, and that can sometimes be very difficult to determine. This is one of the reasons why we offer the SEER readings, is so that people can get a sense of that.

Um, but it's another reason why you work with a coach or, you know, a, a teacher of some kind, is to help you to identify those things. Make sure you're working on the right things. Now, a third reason why this could be the case is that the work that you're doing, while it may be worthwhile, is also reinforcing a negative outcome Okay, so what did I just say there?

'Cause that seems complicated, right? So let's say, for instance, and I talk about this a lot with people who are, like, coming out of a rape scenario or, you know, if they've been traumatized in some way. The first thing that people tell you to do is go into survivor rather than victim to step you out of the victim energy, and I agree that it is important to get out of that victim energy.

However, going into survivor defines you by the victimization. It has you step into an identity that incorporates victimization as a f- foundational element of it. I am a survivor. You're never a survivor unless you had something to survive, right? Unless something was there that caused you to have to survive it, right?

And so it inherently builds in the trauma into the identity, and so long as you are working on being a survivor, you're not gonna transcend that trauma. You need to go into thriving, into living, uh, rather than surviving, right? Because survival is in opposition to victimization, which means it is still a function of victimization.

Anytime you're rebelling against something, you are still being defined by it. And so when we talk about... Like we were talking about, "I need to be more high vibe," creates the in- inherent assumption that your vibe is too low. Same idea, right? So you have to look at these sort of hiding assumptions that are underneath the things that you're using to define yourself.

And if you're not doing that, you're going to find that you're gonna have problems with making changes because the inherent assumptions that you're making as part of all this hard work you're doing may be holding you in place because you're not aware that that's what you're reinforcing, right? So all of this...

A- and it's complicated, right? So I-- The first thing I wanna tell you is, is, and it's not the first thing I wanna tell you, but what I wanna tell you right now, because I've said a lot already, is please don't blame yourself Okay? Judgment is a resistance pattern. It is a way to not move forward. The more you beat yourself up, the more you don't have to move forward.

Okay? So please don't blame yourself. You cannot fix what you're not aware of. And until you heard this stuff, you didn't have context to answer your question about why am I not healing even though I've been doing all this work, right? So please don't blame yourself. Now, with that said, now that you know, it is your responsibility to do something about it, right?

So there's a lot of different pathways that I offer to you. Maybe you know what the pathway was that was the problem for you after this. Maybe you're not sure which one it was. Maybe it might be two or three things. It could be a wide varieties. It could be something else entirely, maybe an ancestral issue that's coming up that's standing in your way.

It could be a past life issue that's coming up that's standing in your way. There's lots of reasons why we get stuck. And so, you know, your job at this point is to find the solution, right? Don't get attached to why it didn't work. Find the path where it will work, right? 'Cause that's another way that we do a lot of work and get nowhere is why didn't it work.

Okay. But that's not relevant. We need to figure out how it can, right? So again, that's about focus. If, you know, whatever you focus on, whether it... you focus on the obstacle or you focus on the result, whatever you focus on is where you're gonna end up. So be careful not to focus on the obstacle, right? Focus on the goal.

So all right. With that said, I'm gonna remind you that we're here to help you. The Spirit Guide School people are here to help you. We have so much support available for you, whether it's individual coaching, apprenticeship, or all the classes that we offer, whether it's a retreat where you come out and see us, which we're doing in September 11th to the 14th in Tahoe, California, we are doing a retreat.

So that's up on the website. Feel free to check that out. But however it is that you like to work, we are here and available to help. So give us a shout. Come and, uh, sign up for a discovery call, and we'll be happy to talk to you. And, you know, we'll take it from there. All right? So with that said, please remember to like, subscribe, and share, and remember, what you focus on is what you create.

Uh, what expands. What you focus on is what expands. What you intend is what you create. So choose wisely.

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