What if your anxiety isn't a sign of weak faith, but an invitation to healing?

Nearly 1 in 5 Americans will experience an anxiety disorder, and even those who don't often battle overwhelming stress, fear, and worry that can steal joy and keep them from living fully.

In this encouraging conversation, Willow Weston welcomes Dr. Laurie Arndorfer, a psychiatrist specializing in women's mental health, to talk about the difference between everyday stress and clinical anxiety and how we can begin moving toward peace.

Together they explore why anxiety has become so common, how our modern lifestyles, comparison, packed schedules, and constant distractions contribute to chronic worry, and why our bodies often signal when something deeper needs our attention.

Dr. Arndorfer shares practical, research-backed tools that help calm anxiety, including mindfulness, relaxation breathing, exercise, creativity, and counseling, while also pointing listeners to the hope found in prayer and God's presence. Willow and Dr. Laurie also unpack Jesus' words in Matthew 6, reminding us that God understands our struggles and invites us to trust Him one day at a time.

Whether you've struggled with anxiety for years or simply feel overwhelmed by life's pressures, this episode offers compassionate encouragement and practical next steps toward living in what Dr. Laurie calls "the precious present."

In this episode you'll learn:

• The difference between normal stress and an anxiety disorder
• Physical signs your body may be warning you that something isn't right
• How comparison, social media, and overcommitted schedules fuel anxiety
• What mindfulness really is, and how it helps interrupt anxious thoughts
• Why struggling with anxiety is not a sign of weak faith
• When to seek professional counseling or medical support

Scripture Referenced:

• Matthew 6:25–34

Resources Mentioned:

• Birds & the Lilies Bible Study by Willow Weston
• New Hope Psychiatry for Women
• Mindfulness apps

If this conversation encouraged you, share it with a friend who may be carrying the weight of anxiety alone. Sometimes one honest conversation can be the first step toward healing.

National Bestseller | Collide: Running into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt

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So do not worry saying, what shall we eat? Or what shall we drink? Or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its.

Welcome to the We Collide Podcast. We're a growing community of everyday chicks colliding with Jesus in our mess, our pain, our joy, and our stories.

We value showing up as we truly are, so that's what you'll find here, walls and masks being torn down so that we can allow Jesus to meet us where we truly are and hear about other women doing the same. We can't wait to collide with you.

Welcome to the Collide Podcast.

I'm Willow Weston, the founder and director of Collide, and we just released a 150 page, beautifully designed Bible study book this year called the Birds and the Lilies. And we're seeing so many women experience transformation from engaging it. And this study tackles stress and anxiety and fear head on.

And so today I'm super thrilled to have someone whose profession is to help women who struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues on the podcast. And you guys will love Lori Arndorfer.

She's a former Collide team member, a doctor of psychiatry, a wife, a mom, and really, she's basically a superwoman. And Lori's work focuses mainly on emotional wellness in women, so we're lucky to engage her wisdom today. Welcome to the podcast, Lori.

Thank you, Willow.

Yeah, I'm glad you're here. So will you share? First, what is your role in helping people with anxiety as a doctor of psychiatry?

Sure.

So I have a practice called New Hope Psychiatry for Women, and my main role is to bring women in and to evaluate them for whatever type of mental health issue might be going on, and particularly with anxiety. Then it would be trying to decide is this something that's a natural response to a stressor, or is this something that is an actual anxiety disorder?

And so, you know, we go through an evaluation process and also try to make sure that I'm ruling out medical reasons that somebody could be feeling really anxious, like a thyroid issue, for example.

And then also look at what we call comorbidities or other things that can go along with anxiety, like depression, like substance abuse, and ruling those in and out, because sometimes those conditions can affect each other.

And then once we sort of figure out what it is that's going on, then I will try to talk with whoever it is about diagnosis and then how we might go about treating whatever's happening. And for anxiety, you know, that can include anything from working on coping skills.

It can be referring them to see a therapist that can work with them on a more consistent basis, like every week or two. And then sometimes we also consider medication, depending on what's going on.

Wow. So you have a really important job.

I love it. I love my job.

I'm glad you do, because I imagine there's days where it's really heavy.

Yeah, it can be.

Yeah.

So to rewind back to what you said, and I've learned this from you before, but if you can explain a little bit, I don't know how many people know that there's a difference between an anxiety disorder and being triggered by a current circumstance or something that's creating anxiety. What's the difference?

Sure. So stress or, you know, a fear, I kind of think of as there. There's an identifiable stressor. It's usually short term and typically it's manageable.

So somebody, you know, recognizes that it's going on. It can be positive or negative. So on the positive side, let's say you have a deadline coming up.

You know, that stress or that worry can actually help you to be motivated and get done what you need to have done.

Whereas anxiety, on the other hand, it tends to be that even when the stressor, the thing producing the stress is taken care of, that the feelings are still there and they tend to be longer lasting and also just cause a sense of powerlessness or feeling out of control. So that's how I kind of see the difference there.

Right. It's so interesting too, when you describe that there can be a positive or a negative.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think even with, you know, with anxiety itself, you know, I think there's a point where it crosses a line where it's impacting our functioning, where it's hard to.

It kind of hijacks us into being able to work toward our purpose or to, you know, do things that we really want to be doing or God wants us to be doing in our life, because it's just getting in the way.

So how pervasive would you say anxiety and stress is in our culture? I mean, what are you seeing in your office? Is this. Are you seeing it get worse? Are you seeing this?

Is there a percentage you'd put on the population of people? And what's your observation?

Yeah, it's definitely something that I'm seeing. Every day with the women that I work with.

And I think the latest thing that I read is about 20% of people in the United States at one point or another struggle with an anxiety disorder. So it's definitely very prevalent. I think just our modern culture and the way that we're living our lives certainly can add to that.

I see it all the time.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you walked in here and I was just on a phone call with a woman who was having an anxiety attack that wouldn't go away.

I mean, I'm getting calls and meeting with women, and it. It feels like. I mean, being in ministry for years, it feels like it's worse than it used to be. Other. Other.

If it's not that, it feels like we're able to put language around something, maybe that before we weren't.

And I think that's some of it. That the stigma, you know, for getting some help for mental health issues is getting less. It's not gone.

But I think that makes it easier for people to talk about it and reach out for help, whereas in the past, I don't think they would have done so.

Right. Which I love.

I do, too.

I love that we're a part of that collide. We're always inviting people to recognize their brokenness and that God can handle their brokenness and their pain and their stress and anxiety.

What do you see as triggering women's anxiety? So outside of an actual anxiety disorder, what are some of the triggers that you see?

Well, for the anxiety disorder, I would say, you know, there's a lot of genetic component to it, but if we're just looking at kind of our lifestyle, we're always adding and adding and adding things to our schedule, and me included, to the point where it just becomes more than what we can actually keep up with. And I think, you know, tv, magazines, social media all encourages us to be that way. And we all have FOMO to an extent. Right.

We don't want to miss out on anything.

FOMO is fear of missing out, in case you didn't know. Friends. Sorry. Yes.

And I think also we compare ourselves to other people, especially women. I think we're just sort of, in a way, socialized to do that, to be comparing. And social media hasn't helped us there either.

And I think also once we sort of go down that road of worry and it starts to become this negative worry cycle in the mind, we do ourselves some damage by just continuing to let that cycle feed through our head over and over instead of trying to replace those thoughts. And that really increases people's anxiety level,.

I think almost like it's become a friend or a companion. You're used to it. This is how you think. This is the way that you engage of life's decisions, circumstances.

Exactly, yeah.

It's so funny that you mentioned fomo. I mean, I'm just processing myself that I think I struggle with fomo.

And the weird thing is, and it's true, like social media, it didn't used to be where if you wanted to have a party, you'd have to pick up the good old fashioned telephone and call people and invite them to a party. But you didn't know the hundred options that were going on in your city before the Internet and social media.

Now people are like, oh, I could do this, I could do this, I could do this. Oh, I didn't get invited to this. I didn't get invited to this. I didn't get invited this. Maybe I should say yes to this, this and this.

So there's all these opportunities, but every time we say yes to one, we often forget that means we need to say no to another.

Right.

And I think, you know, like you said, there are so many great opportunities, and if we were just considering one, it sounds great, it sounds fun and wonderful. But then when we have 10 of those piled on top of each other, or like you get done with work every single day, you've got yet something else to do.

You know, after a while it just gets exhausting.

Yeah, well, in the comparison game is crazy.

I mean, you have women and I hear, and they talk to me about it like they're kind of one upping each other on social media, trying to make their life look awesome because they feel like it's not super awesome. Or you see these pictures and it's like we're on a family vacation, but they look like professional photos. Like, who's taking this picture?

It looks like your life's perfect. But that so often invites other women to feel discontent in their life and start to sign up for more things and do more things.

And that creates more anxiety, more stress. It just feels like it's pervasive.

It's pervasive. And I think we also sometimes use all those activities, activities to not have to sit and feel some of the, you know, anxiety and worry that we have.

So we use it as an escape too.

So when someone comes in your office, speaking of not having to sit in, in the feelings, what does it look like for you to invite someone into feeling those feelings?

How do I go about doing that. Yeah, I think that I. You know, in the beginning, it's. It's fairly, for lack of a better word, clinical.

And it's asking some kind of routine questions that may go along with certain anxiety disorders or depression, for example. But then as I get to know the person better or I see how they respond to those questions, and that opens up more.

You know, we start talking about their life and what's underlying how they're feeling. Because usually these things don't just happen in a vacuum.

You know, there's things that happening that are causing these feelings of anxiety or things that have happened in the past that have led them to struggle now. So I try to really get at the heart of what's going on and ask a lot of questions that way.

I try to let people know that my office is a safe place to cry or yell or do whatever they feel like they need to. And I also bring my dog a lot to work. She's been trained as a therapy dog, and she likes to sit at people.

I didn't know that.

So that's been great, too.

That's awesome. What kind of dog? I have to ask.

She's a miniature labradoodle.

Oh, that's what I have. I know.

We have labradoodle twin dogs. So what are some of the dead giveaways that a person's experiencing anxiety or stress if they can't recognize it in and of themselves?

What would you say if this and this and this are going on, you might be struggling with anxiety?

Yeah, I think the first thing is thinking, functioning.

Like, if it's getting to the point where it's hard for me to do the things that I need to do to be successful in my life, like work and school and taking care of my kids, getting out of bed, you know, that kind of thing. That's. That's a dead giveaway.

Some other things, you know, sometimes if you're feeling a little stressed, you might get a little muscle tension in your neck and shoulders. But if every day you're wearing your shoulders as earrings, that's a clue. You know, just tense.

So tense you can hardly, you know, move your shoulders. Other physical things, like being sick to your stomach a lot, headaches all the time.

You know, a day here and there is different than having that chronically.

And then I think people sometimes after they've struggled with anxiety for a really long time, they just get exhausted, they feel fatigued, and it's pervasive. Not a day here or there, but just all the time tired or they or somebody else might say, gosh, you are so irritable. You're just not yourself.

And, you know, a lot of times that can really be a clue that there's some anxiety going on here. Restless, racing thoughts. I can think of a bunch of. A lot of them come out physically.

Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

What do you make of that as a Christ follower, as someone who recognizes God made our body, but our body is very much connected to kind of letting us know some things.

What do you.

What do you think about that?

Well, I think, you know, underlying it all, we're actually souls and we have a body.

And so I think God has given us our body to give us messages, you know, to be able to communicate with us in lots of different ways, you know, whether it be through prayer or through reading His Word, but also through just different physical symptoms that we experience.

And the biggest mistake we make, I think, is to ignore our body and what it's telling us, you know, when, in fact, it's not normal to have a headache every day, but our culture tells us, oh, you know, it's just a headache. Take an aspirin. It's not normal to be nauseous every day. It's not normal to, like I said before, wear your shoulders as earrings.

But we just kind of push it away and think, oh, you know, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. But it really isn't. It's actually maybe God even giving us a signal that we're taking on too much and doing too.

Yeah, it's. It's so interesting. It's a good question for all y' all to ask at home is, you know, what is your body telling you?

It's a good question for all of us to ask.

I was in a conversation with a woman a couple weeks ago who I think would be completely fine sharing this, but she went through major, like, as condition that led to her needing to have brain surgery.

And she now is kind of having what she's describing as some PTSD symptoms where she's having these sort of anxiety attacks because she's afraid that the pain from the condition is going to come back and terrify her life because it was debilitating. And so she hasn't really processed all of this because she was in survival mode with the condition. Then she went into brain surgery.

And I just said to her, oh, Amy, let's stop for a second and think about everything that you've gone through. I mean, you went through months of bed rest where you couldn't take care of your kids, you couldn't drive them to school, you couldn't cook dinner.

You felt like you let everyone down. You couldn't go to work, you couldn't do all these things.

Then you had to sort of give in to the idea you were going to go under brain surgery and maybe not come out of that. I mean, you've gone through some severe stress.

Have you considered actually going and talking to a therapist or a counselor about processing everything you've been through?

And I bring that up because I think, in a way, and in that conversation, that's why I share that, because I said maybe some of this anxiety that you're feeling is your body letting you know, hey, let's process this. Like, let's stop right now and recognize how much you've been through. What are the fears that are creeping up?

How did this wreak havoc on your family? Where did this bring unrest? What's left over that you need to deal with before you just move on?

But I think as women, we kind of go into survival mode. We take what's being thrown at us. We pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, we make it happen. We're on the other side.

But then we have all our responsibilities and all our goals and all our dreams, and we just keep going. And then our body starts freaking out, but we don't listen to it because we don't have time, because we have all these other things. We have to.

We have too much to take care of.

Yeah.

Then we don't take care of ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I love that question. What's your body telling you? How do you see us creating our own stress and anxiety?

I liked that question. I had seen that beforehand. And I think that we do it in a few ways.

I think, like I was saying before, we have this tendency to fill our schedule even when we don't necessarily have to do that, you know, to the point where it just becomes unmanageable. And I've certainly been guilty of that in myself.

I think that, again, the comparison thing, you know, that we're on social media more than we probably need to be or should be, and we're making these comparisons, and then we don't measure, you know, thinking that we don't measure up to whoever it is that we're looking at, and that creates a lot of stress. And then again, just kind of getting in that worry cycle and not.

Not thinking that, okay, maybe these thoughts, even though they're there and they seem like a friend, they're not a very nice friend. And do I really need to keep thinking this way? You know, I think that those sorts of things create our own stress.

Not a nice friend. Why? Why do we.

We can go like 30 minutes or an entire day letting a not a nice friend boss us around, call us names, get us in a frenzy over all these hypotheticals that haven't even come true yet. Why don't we do that?

That's a good question.

I think part of it is where we're spending too much time, you know, worrying and fretting about things that happened in the past that we don't have control over.

And we're worrying about and fretting about things that might happen in the future that we don't have any control over instead of focusing on right now and what's happening in this moment. And so those thoughts, I think, just start spinning because we're. We're not living in the precious present a lot of times. And I think.

I also think we've got an enemy that helps to feed those thoughts, too, and a kind of a negative culture at some times that helps to feed those thoughts so they start to seem real.

What's your greatest advice for living in what you call the precious present?

Well, I think mindfulness is one thing that's really helped me and I think some of the patients that I work with and all that really means is being aware and in the present moment. Moment.

So instead of fretting about the past or the future, just focusing on right now and what you're sensing with your five senses, what your thoughts and feelings are, and really looking at those without judgment. That's the key. Without judgment.

And I think that the more that we can sort of get into the present moment and just try to find things that, you know, God's put in nature, things that we can look at that are lovely and helps to get us out of that Ruth Negativity.

Well, I am sitting in the present in a very small room with you, covered in black, soundproof, spongy things, and I see a very lovely person that I am glad I'm spending time with. Thank you. That's what I'm getting out of my mindfulness as you're talking.

For those that are listening, can you share some of your favorite tools to help women win their rights back? Dab in the mitts, Stop feeling anxious.

Yeah. So mindfulness would be one. And there's a lot of. Just to say there's a lot of free apps out there or really low cost phone apps.

That people can use to learn mindfulness skills. Okay. So that would be one thing. One of the things I really like is relaxation breathing.

And it can almost become kind of a cliche that people say, oh, you're stressed. Just breathe. And it's not really like that. It's more, you know, when we're really anxious, we tend to have really shallow, fast chest breathing.

And the point of relaxation breathing is to move the breath lower into the belly and to make it deeper breathing. And it actually, there's some physiology behind it. It helps us to be able to relax.

And one of the ways that I found is helpful is if you breathe in through your nose and you just sort of count in your mind up to, let's say, four, and then you hold your breath and hold it for seven or eight seconds and then breathe out through your mouth for about seven or eight seconds.

And you can either focus on the numbers as you're doing it, because then you kind of get off of the worry and you're, you know, or you can focus on the breath coming in and out of your nose or into your belly or.

One thing a counselor taught me a long time ago was to take a verse, Bible verse, and kind of recite it as I'm thinking, breathing in, something else as I'm holding it, and something else as I'm breathing out.

I do Jesus web. So that's why my breasts aren't very good. No, I'm just kidding. I'm like, oh, that's a quick one. Yes.

One that's helped me is, you know, breathing in, I can do all things. And then holding it through Christ who gives me strength. And then breathing out is trust Christ cast out fear.

And that's really helped me a lot in my own life. And you can't just do it once, you know, you've got something you have to repeat and keep doing and generally eventually start feeling calm.

Some other things, I think getting active, you know, exercise lowers stress chemicals like cortisol and increases endorphins, which are sort of our feel good chemicals. I think getting creative can also really help. So it's hard to be stressed and worried if you're painting or knitting or journaling.

There's a reason that those adult coloring books are so popular right now. I think so, yeah. Using those. And then I think Jesus actually taught us a really good example of what to do with anxiety.

Because if you look at the Garden of Gethsemane, he was clearly anxious. He was sweating drops of blood, his spirit was in agony. And so Then we can look. What did he do?

Well, he got away by himself and he prayed, and he also asked the disciples to pray for him. And so we can kind of follow that model. In fact, I was listening to a podcast that I really like.

Andy Stanley is a pastor that I really enjoy listening to, and he was talking about anxiety and how, you know, we can really cast our cares upon Jesus if that's what he tells us to do.

And that a lot of times what we do instead is we've got these memorized or rote prayers that we may have learned, you know, in church or Sunday school or childhood or whatever. And those are fine, you know, in some circumstances, but that's not really casting our cares upon God.

So what he said, and what I really think is true, is that God wants us to yell and cry and really say what's happening and let it out, because really he's the only one that can change our circumstances, and he's the only one that can change us. And so I think that's one of the key ways to really try to let go of anxiety is to get into a habit of doing that.

So, Laurie, speaking of Jesus and how he dealt with anxiety in Matthew 6, which is what we cover in the Birth of the Lilies Bible study in verse 25 through 20, you know, 30 something, he says, therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you aware is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes. Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they can any one of you by worrying at a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendid was dressed like one of these.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you little faith? So do not worry saying, what shall we eat? Or what shall we drink? Or what shall we wear?

For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When you think about those words of Jesus what do you think when he kind of, what do you think about this practice of look at the birds of the air, look at the lilies of the field.

Yeah, I think I, I think of two things about that. One is that it's God sort of directing us away from focusing on ourselves and looking out into his creation.

And it's hard to see stay stressed when we do that.

And then I think the second is that he's talking about how much he cares for the birds, little birds, and also the flowers which are here today and gone tomorrow. And so you know, how much more he must care about us that he created in his own image.

And so it just reminds me that he gets it, that anxiety is something that many of us have will struggle with, but it doesn't mean that we don't have faith. He tells us so many times in the New Testament not to worry. So that tells me that he knows we will. So it's not a lack of faith that we have anxiety.

It's comforting to me.

Yeah, I love that because I know people who struggle with anxiety regularly.

It's a, it's a life battle for them and they often have people who judge them for that, which is so crazy to me because on this side of the perfect place, we all have our struggles.

That's right.

So if you could prescribe a way towards peace for those of us that feel overwhelmed with stress or anxiety, what would it be?

So that one, I think is also multifactorial.

So first, you know, trying to figure out what can I do to try to manage this praying like we've talked about and really letting God know what's going on and asking for his help. That's number one. I think exercise, I think yoga or stretching, some type of meditative exercise can be really helpful.

Running or jogging or walking or doing some kind of exercise to get your heart rate up, doing things that are more right brained, that are creative like we've talked about.

And then if somebody's still, still struggling, I really think it's helpful to find a professional, find a therapist that they can talk to who can help them, like can hear the struggles and help them to put things into some type of perspective.

Because all these thoughts start feeling real and really negative after a while, you know, so really getting them out with another human being can be helpful. And then I also think, you know, it's, it's only one tool in the tool bag.

But medication can sometimes be really helpful for people that have anxiety and other mental health concerns. And so I Know, people have different feelings about that, but I just see it as another tool in the tool bag.

Wow. Well, thank you. I. My last question for you is, if someone's listening to this and thinking, I need to get help, what's your like go to?

No matter where they live, what's your kind of like go to? Here's how you can find help. Is there a website, a phone number? What's.

Well, I think, you know, There is the 1-800-273-talk, which is the crisis line that can be, I think, accessed from almost anywhere that people can call, obviously, if they have friends or family. Those are great people to reach out to to if it's, you know, something that's life and death, the emergency room, wherever they're living.

And then, I think, you know, any local therapist that they could contact, they can look for phone numbers and things online. And I would be glad to see anyone that's around here as well.

Yeah. Around here as in Bellingham, Washington. Yeah.

And for those of you listening, if you need some help in the area that you're living in, as far as trying to find help, we. We are willing to help you figure out how to find the right therapist for you, the right counselor for you.

So don't hesitate to email [email protected] and we'll do our best to help you out. We certainly believe. And, Lori, this is why I love what you do.

We believe God can handle anything you have to bring to him, whatever mess, whatever stress, whatever anxiety, whatever sin, whatever fears. And not only can he handle it, but he cares about it. I think that's actually why he speaks to worry, because he cares about how we're doing.

He doesn't just care about what we believe, but he actually cares about our whole selves, our mind, our heart, our bodies. And so if you have a friend that you're concerned about, be a great friend and come alongside them and ask them some good questions.

After listening to Lori's words of wisdom here. And, Lori, how can people. How can people connect with you?

Sure. So I have a private practice. It's called New Hope Psychiatry for Women. And my website is New Hope Northwest, kind of all one word dot com.

So that's probably the easiest way to make contact to begin with.

That's awesome. Well, thank you for hanging out.

Thank you so much. This is fun.

It was fun.

And you guys, if you want to check out our resources or our blog page or events we have coming up, check us [email protected] and we will catch you next week. I pray for peace for you this week and for time to get away and for a reminder that your life is matters.

And if you have to go check out the birds and the lilies so that you can be reminded of that, go do it. We'll catch you next week.