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Find Purpose and Reinvent Yourself After Retirement: Solving the Post-Career Identity Crisis
Episode 29024th June 2026 • Late Boomers • Cathy Worthington and Merry Elkins
00:00:00 00:41:45

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Welcome back to the Late Boomers podcast! We’re your hosts, Cathy Worthington and Merry Elkins, and today’s episode is one you won’t want to miss, especially if you’re approaching retirement or have already stepped into this exciting new chapter. We’re diving deep into the process of redefining purpose, identity, and fulfillment after leaving a long-held career, with the incredible Anne van Leynseele, founder of Rarified Life.

In this powerful conversation, we explore the reality of retirement beyond the fantasy of a “permanent vacation.” Anne shares her personal journey of reinvention, her work helping individuals transition through major life changes, and the innovative tools she’s developed, including her workbook "Preferment," designed to guide you toward a meaningful post-career life. We talk candidly about the emotional stages people go through after stepping away from work, the challenge of identity loss, and the breadth of opportunities available to create connection, purpose, and joy in later life.

Key Takeaways

  • Retirement is a Beginning, Not an End: Anne reveals how retirement can be an invitation to design a unique, fulfilling life not just a time of scaling down, but of broadening your experiences and passions.
  • Identity Beyond Your Job: Learn why so many successful people struggle with the transition—even with strong financial planning and discover strategies to move beyond work-based identity.
  • Emotional Milestones of Retirement: We discuss the common emotional hurdles, such as loss of structure and purpose, and how to navigate anxiety, depression, and uncertainty. You'll hear inspiring stories of transformation and resilience.
  • Practical Tools for Reinvention: Anne’s workbook, "Preferment," offers short, engaging exercises to help you rediscover passions, define new values, and set purposeful goals.
  • The Power of Community & Relationships: Building new friendships, intergenerational connections, and engaging in social activities from golf and mahjong to volunteering are essential for cognitive and emotional well-being.
  • Redefining Success: We break down how to let go of the productivity guilt and embrace a broader, more rewarding definition of what accomplishment looks like after retirement.
  • Accessible Next Steps: Whether it’s joining local groups, looking for free activities, or volunteering online, there’s something for everyone regardless of budget or mobility.

If anything in today’s conversation resonated with you, we encourage you to start asking yourself: What will I do with my retirement? Not just during it. Head over to www.rarifiedlife.com to learn more about Anne van Leynseele’s work and discover her workbook, "Preferment." You can also find her resources and tips for getting on board with new interests.

Don’t forget to subscribe to Late Boomers wherever you get your podcasts, and check out our YouTube channel for more insightful conversations. As always, keep dreaming, keep growing, and keep creating that next great chapter because as we learned today, it’s never too late to rethink what’s possible!

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Transcripts

Cathy Worthington [:

Welcome to the Late Bloomers podcast, where we bring you inspiring stories of people creating new chapters in life with style, power and impact. I'm Cathy Worthington.

Merry Elkins [:

And I'm Merry Elkins.

Cathy Worthington [:

Today, we're talking about something many people don't anticipate when they retire. We spend decades building careers, businesses, and professional identities. And then one day, that chapter ends. What comes next?

Merry Elkins [:

So true. And it's a huge life transition. Retirement sounds wonderful when we're working, but many people discover that after the celebrations are over, they feel a little lost. Without the structure of work, they can begin asking deeper questions about purpose, meaning, and identity.

Cathy Worthington [:

We've met many late boomers who expected retirement to feel like a permanent vacation. Instead, they found themselves wondering who they were without their job title, business or professional role.

Merry Elkins [:

And yet, retirement can also be one of the most exciting opportunities in life. It's a chance to rediscover passions, explore new interests, launch a second act business, volunteer, travel, create or simply become more fully yourself.

Cathy Worthington [:

Our guest today helps people navigate exactly that journey. And Van Laine Seal is the founder of Rarefied Life, where she helps individuals successfully transition through major life changes, particularly retirement and post career identity shifts.

Merry Elkins [:

And Ann believes that retirement isn't an ending. It's an invitation to design a life that's meaningful, fulfilling, and uniquely your own.

Cathy Worthington [:

And welcome to Late Boomers.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, thank you so much, Cathy and Merry.

Merry Elkins [:

Great to have you.

Cathy Worthington [:

And tell us about your own journey and what inspired you to focus your work on retirement transitions and post career reinvention.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, I have reinvented myself for months in each decade of my life, so I think that it's a great time to renew. When you're looking a few years before you actually do retire, start thinking about that transition. Most life transitions, we plan and we research. Then we make some decisions and we research some more. And little is done as to your lifestyle in retirement. So especially for accomplished people, it's difficult to suddenly have no structure and no distinct identity without a job title.

Merry Elkins [:

I can identify with that one because I was with a company for 18 years and when I left, I really, I had an idea of what I wanted to do, but it was pretty jarring. So on that note, why do so many successful people struggle with retirement even when they planned well financially?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, financial is one important aspect. It allows you the freedom to do what you choose to do. But again, having a general theme or an idea of what you want to accomplish after you retire is very helpful. You can start to develop passions and even think about a change of Location. When I was 48, I had already started thinking about where do I want to be when I'm retired? And I realized I had already figured that out. When I was 35 and I lived in Sydney, Australia, I had been to a lovely beach community called Port Douglas and I thought, this is the kind of place I want to retire. Neighbors were friendly, there were lots of activities. There were engagement possibilities for various institutions and charitable organizations.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

So I was very excited to find something similar. And I realized again, I had already been to this, the big island island of Hawaii, which had a lot of the same attributes. So at 48, I decided that I would buy a property to retire to in a place I'd never lived and doing something I had never done before,

Merry Elkins [:

which is, yeah, you're very brave.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, it's worked out very well. So I am now 61 and I am deeply entrenched in the activities on the farm which is growing globally. Award winning chocolate.

Cathy Worthington [:

I had a friend from my high school class who for quite a while lived there on the big island on a coffee farm.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Oh, well, we grow a little of that too. But my passion.

Merry Elkins [:

You're growing chocolate. What is it called? I'm a big chocoholic.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, the brand is Kona cow. So K O N a cow for the second part of cacao or chocolate. Yes. And I, I sell directly to restaurants and I advocate, and I've written a book about this too, is I advocate that we eat more chocolate with no sugar. So I wrote a cookbook called Savor your chocolate and that is all about how you incorporate chocolate into savory dishes.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, interesting. Well, shifting a little bit. You often talk about identity shifts. So how much of our identity becomes tied to our careers and why can letting go of that role be so challenging?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, the 65% of retirees report depression symptoms, so we know that there are problems going on in people feeling lost. People feel uncertain. Anxiety also rises, but not as profoundly. So the problem is there. And the identity shift is critical to take in a conscientious way, not just say, well, I'll find things that are similar to my work that'll make me happy. And then they wind up going back to consulting for the company they just left.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, dear. So, yeah, so that identity shift is really hard to pin down. Well, people don't want to shift, do they?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, with high achieving people, I think that we need to have a defined way to talk about who we are and what matters to us. And a career title was really just a shorthand for that now, in Preferment, which is my alternative to her retirement, I create a whole way of developing that by examining values, talking about what, on a scale, what your personality traits are. I designed the book sort of like an elementary school workbook. So it's fun, it's interesting. The challenge worksheets are very short, but they get you to a point of. Of realization. Oh, I liked this part of what I did, but it's very applicable to a lot of other activities.

Cathy Worthington [:

What is the book called?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It's called Preferment. May I?

Cathy Worthington [:

Preferment, yes, Preferment.

Merry Elkins [:

Of course.

Cathy Worthington [:

She's showing us a picture. The book, actual book. That is great.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

That is not. That is. This is Hawaii. This is me on the back cover with my truck and in my farmer mode.

Cathy Worthington [:

Good.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

So the workbook is really a great way for people to independently go through the process and figure out what it is that is important to them and what excites them. And there are 24 exercises or challenges, as I call them. And it revolves around the big three, doing, thinking and feeling, which is another way of saying physical challenge, intellectual challenge, and emotional connection. Those are all tied to quality longevity.

Merry Elkins [:

That makes so much sense. So help me out here, because what are some of the emotional stages people commonly experience when they leave a long career behind and just tough anyway, for every. For anyone. But what about this?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, it's fascinating you should bring that up because if you search for personal development or psychological development stages in life, they're very detailed and they're very positive and progress and they develop, they. They dovetail on prior developmental milestones as we grow from zero until 60, and then from 60 on, it's all about decline and decay. And I didn't like that at all.

Merry Elkins [:

Thank you.

Cathy Worthington [:

Thank you.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I actually wrote psychological developments milestones from 60 to death.

Cathy Worthington [:

I love that our podcast is all about like life after 50, but basically second half of life.

Merry Elkins [:

Give us some examples.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yes.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, developmental milestones, you understand that your values need to align with your daily activities to feel satisfied and feel fulfilled. And so how do you course correct for that is all in there. Another milestone is that you understand that you can adapt things that you used to do rather than throwing them away. I'll take an example of one of the people that have been through the program and they. He was an avid bicyclist and, and he could do 70 mile bike rides on a Saturday. And you know, he was very engaged in the sport and he started to have problems keeping up with his biking circle. So it was a circle of people and we worked very hard at. And he had stopped riding.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

He'd just taken that out of his life. And when I asked a question about what are you passionate about? He said bicycling, but I can't do that anymore. And. And I said that's silly. My father lived to 89 and was just as avid cyclist and. But there were adaptations. So we brainstormed some of those. That's another way that we recognize our maturity in being able to.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Social engagement is such a critical thing. And a lot of people are not sure how to add to their social struggle after 60.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah. Can be very difficult.

Merry Elkins [:

On the warning signs that someone may experience but ignore as they're heading into retirement without a purpose. Can you just give us a few of those signs?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, the key thing is if they think all they need to do is take what they used to do on lunch hours, evenings and weekends and spread it over seven days because that makes for a very thin existence. I mean we used to get it done around our career. And letting go of a career at minimum is 2,500 hours per year to fill.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, yeah. Well, many of our listeners are either retired or approaching retirement. So what's the first question they should ask themselves if they're wondering what's next for me?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

What are you going to do with your retirement? Not in your retirement. What are you going to accomplish with your retirement? It's a gift, it's a prize, it's a treasure. Preferment is a 15th century word that actually means a promotion or an ascension.

Cathy Worthington [:

I love that word. I was going to tell you I love that word, but I didn't know it meant that.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Yes. As opposed to scaling down in retirement, we should be expanding and be broadening every aspect of our life. What we do, how the range of physical activities. Don't just go to the gym and do your old activities there and do your work out like it's a. Check it off the list. Take on new things that are physical. You know, hiking, biking. There's so many new sports.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Rock climbing, technical rock climbing.

Cathy Worthington [:

Terrifying.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It can be done in a studio, with a coach, with a teacher. You know, there's so many physical activities that are movement, that don't feel like exercise.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah, yeah. Like tai chi or any of those. I've thought about that. Haven't done it.

Cathy Worthington [:

And my girlfriend took up golf and she never played before. Yeah, she's enjoying it a lot and

Ann Van Laenseal [:

it's great social and it's very social

Cathy Worthington [:

because we have one other friend that she can play with but they go to the public courses and they pair them up with another set of people. So there were two or three people playing. So they meet those people.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Exactly.

Cathy Worthington [:

It's really a good thing for her.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It's fantastic. And everyone can find several of those things. I always encourage. It shouldn't just be about a purpose. It should be multiple purposes.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, I'm now learning mahjong. I love it, but it's really hard. I'm just gonna keep at it and really learn it. I could start winning and I need

Merry Elkins [:

to go back to it.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah, you do.

Merry Elkins [:

I left my job and it was really, really fun and very, very social. And we would meet all the time and at different people's houses. I found I gained a little weight though, because people.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, yeah.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, one woman who read the book, she said, I got through the first chapter and you already changed my life. I remembered that I loved pottery and she said, I took a one afternoon class and now I'm taking an immersive class. And so she's. She's learning how to throw pots and, and express her creativity in that way.

Cathy Worthington [:

We once did, remember Merry? We did an artist for our podcast as an interview, and she was doing the interview from her studio and showed pieces she was making, and she was really into that and she had a whole network of people that would come there and learn from her. Yeah, that was really great. Well, how can people reconnect with interests, talents, or dreams that they may have put aside during busy working years?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, again, this is the perfect preferment is the perfect time for that because you have the luxury that you never did. We always had excuses to leave behind hobbies or. Oh, I'll get to that when I'm retired. Well, tada, we're here and it's time for things. But it's wonderful. Another person that I worked with was going through mementos and in a box, she had something from summer camp that reminded her of a camp counselor that was majoring in geography. No. Rock climbing? Rock hunting.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Geography. Is that what it. Anyway, she. She got very interested in being a rock hound.

Merry Elkins [:

Oh.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

And she joined a group and the group expanded and she went on trips, even with her husband, to parks or locations where a certain rock was to be found. And it was all sparked by going through, you know, from some boxes, which is, you know, another huge topic with people in retirement is downsizing.

Cathy Worthington [:

So yeah.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

That you, you can accomplish two goals. If you want to go through all of your keepsakes, you might find things that inspire.

Cathy Worthington [:

That's a really good. That's a really good point

Merry Elkins [:

by geodes and amethysts and fabulous stones that you've never seen before.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Depology.

Merry Elkins [:

Some people. But I had this problem when I left my job, which is some people feel guilty if they aren't staying busy every minute after retirement. And I know when I'd go out on walks late in the morning, I'd feel very guilty about not being at the office. So how do you help clients redefine productivity and success at this stage of Life or even 70, 80, 90, 100?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, there are stages of what you call success, and I'm glad to use that word instead of accomplishments. Accomplishments is a little too narrow for retirement. And defining what success is for you is an important first step for that. Because to feel that fulfillment of getting some, you know, planning to do something, doing something and then completing it is. Is a wonderful feeling. And so removing the guilt is really about giving yourself permission to be selfish in a good way.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah. And have you. Have you? I know you have. In your new field that you're in now, you've seen people creating exciting second acts after retirement. So can you share a few examples of transformations that have inspired you?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Sure. There was a woman who was an executive at Dell, and she really struggled with coming into the this, with giving the expected answers. You know, she kept putting forward the things that everybody is supposed to want to do in retirement and filling in the blanks in that way. And finally we were talking and I said, sarah, not her real name, Sarah, what is it that you did? You know, how was your weekend? And she said, oh, we went on a hike. I went on a hike with some friends. And I said, oh, where did you go? And she said, I went to the. We went to this, this and such forest park and, you know, a national forest. And she lit up.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I said, sarah, this is the theme that you can build on. Why don't you go this week and figure out all of the things you can do that engage you in some way or are connected to forests. And she came back with a two and a half page list.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh my goodness, the homework. Very seriously.

Merry Elkins [:

Paper.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

But she did, and it was fantastic because it was as varied as join a board for a conservation organization to physically going and working on trail maintenance in parks nearby to going to. She joined an art group that goes to local parks once a month and they bring their art materials and they create artworks and they coach each other and they help each other through it. So it's phenomenal when you come up with a theme, the diversity of activities. We have the beauty of the. The world wide web for finding things that we didn't know existed. I found a really great resource. You said age, and I want to tell you that I. This was not.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

She didn't take the course. But I ran into somebody at the Alaska Airlines lounge who was in her early 90s. She was with her daughter. And she said, oh, tell me more about that deer. And I said, well, you know, what's something that you miss doing? And she said, well, I can't volunteer anymore. And I said, oh, you're wrong, Myrna. You can volunteer. And I showed her and gave the daughter the context.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

There are dozens of ways you can volunteer exclusively online. You can read to the blind. You can catalog artifacts for the Smithsonian Institute. Yes. You can proofread ebooks for the. There's. I think it's the Gideon Society, which is archiving ancient books, and they do a scan of it, but they have to be carefully proofread.

Cathy Worthington [:

Wow.

Merry Elkins [:

I love that.

Cathy Worthington [:

Do you have even another person who's done an amazing second half like the forest lady?

Merry Elkins [:

Yes.

Cathy Worthington [:

I love that example. So I just wanted to know if you had another one.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Thank you. The other one is a man who was a former marine and going through the workbook he actually unders. Began to, for the first time, understand his divorce from his first wife and the fact that he still hadn't really dealt with his military service trauma.

Cathy Worthington [:

Wow.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

You know, to find that the profound transformation. He came back to me months later and he said, I don't care about the. Filling my. My life with activities. This has changed my entire well being, my Persona. And, you know, I. I'm not here. And I have a huge disclaimer when I talk about sensitive subjects that I am not a medical professional or I.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

You know, this is merely for you to kind of evaluate your baggage. What are you coming into this with that you might want to heal or make amends or make peace with.

Cathy Worthington [:

Beautiful.

Merry Elkins [:

Beautiful.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Yeah, it's wonderful. It's an important time. I mean, death and dying is a topic in America that's not very comfortable. I did a documentary in the 80s after one of my friends died of aids and I went to a grief counselor. And the way that my grief recovery took happened was helping her make a short video documentary about death and dying in the United States and how we should be more comfortable talking about our mortality and can make things easier. So that was an important transformation as far as someone putting his past in a better frame of reference that changed old relationships for him. He was able to ask for forgiveness and be forgiven. And so everything in his life was more meaningful.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

He laughed more, he found more happiness. You know, I just. Do you want another?

Cathy Worthington [:

Yes. I love these.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It is, this is why I love doing this. It's, it's just so rewarding to help people unlock the best rest of their lives, really figure out how am I going to be happy. And I, you know, I want to make that 65% depression number go away. I don't think that that should exist. But another woman who worked for a telephone, phone company that took on the polls and the lines in a small town in the Midwest and she, she did a very physical career and she had to retire a little early because of her bad knees. And so she had a retirement party and she did what most people did and do and sort of spread out all of her social stuff over seven days. And she was miserable. And we find, we got to a place where she, she tried something so out of her comfort zone.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

She needed to lose some weight. She was pre diabetic and she didn't want to go into the diabetes hole. And so she took a cooking, a vegan vegetarian cooking class and she discovered she loved cooking and she wound up teaching a cooking class at her union meeting hall.

Merry Elkins [:

Wow.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

And in vegetarian cooking and healthy cooking and, and had impact on her fellow colleagues, former colleagues and other people that were coming up in physical professions lose weight and get healthier and that really. And then, you know, other things happen that were wonderful too. But that's kind of finding something that helped her and passing that on. And that is, I mean, we should be wisdom sharers. What, however, whatever form that takes, once we leave our jobs, we should share our wisdom.

Merry Elkins [:

I think that's so wonderful. And on that note, I mean, you're forming all these relationships when you're starting something new. So what role do relationships and friendships and community play in creating a really meaningful post career life?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, it's fascinating how many people stop communicating with colleagues because they're still in the throes of being busy and talking about work. And many people are hesitant to start connecting with other retired people because again, they're concerned about falling into that pattern of settling for less. So highly recommend reaching out. There are some fantastic apps, there are meetups, there are wonderful ways to find groups that might interest you because it is so critical. I mean, very. One of the very strong threads that was really well presented in the documentary living to 100 the the blue Zones documentary that came out recently that really speaks to that Social connection on a routine basis is very important physically and cognitively. We tend to. Spending too much time alone can tend to affect your cognitive abilities.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

You begin to slide into something. Catastrophe, catastrophizing, which is an overreaction or jumping right to the worst result. Whenever something happens, it feels devastating. And so emotional connectivity with people also helps with our resilience.

Cathy Worthington [:

I love that. But it can be very difficult for older people to try and build a community. It's really difficult. I love what goes on in my neighborhood because the neighbors through the last several years, like starting with COVID have started to really connect with each other. And so I feel like I have a strong network of those people. But a lot of neighborhoods don't offer that. People can't find that. I agree that meetups are nice, but sometimes they're far away.

Cathy Worthington [:

So I think it's kind of difficult sometimes for people to navigate these meetups and these things.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I understand that physical can be a limitation. I know someone who had a social group. It was a group of women that met for happy hour every Friday night at one of their houses, every Friday night for nine years. And the members had to move away, one to be closer to family for medical reasons, and one to be closer to family so they could have that support and emotional connection and community. And where she was living wasn't conducive. It was too much to take care of in her house with that she had lived with her husband. They continued on Zoom.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah. And

Ann Van Laenseal [:

yes. Time Zoom. Any sort of interactive online. And they, you know, they understand it's slightly different, but it's still. They still have that pattern that they can look forward to. Oh, I'll talk to my women on Friday. I'll talk to my group on Friday. And that kind of emotional consistency of having something to look forward to, where you can share your highs, your lows, your struggles, what's going on in the world, and how that's affecting people you care about or your own life.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I think it's important that you diversify. It shouldn't all come from one place.

Cathy Worthington [:

I think back to the very beginning of COVID lockdown, when everyone was discovering Zoom. A lot of working people knew it from there, but a lot of people had no idea how to use it. And once we started connecting like that on the screen, like weekly, we set up all these weekly groups, and we would connect every week. And that was huge to people.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Yes.

Cathy Worthington [:

So to go back on it now is no big deal. I think every. And we started our podcast during that because we could do it like this.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah. And it's wonderful to meet people like you who inspire us as well as our audience.

Cathy Worthington [:

It's consistently inspiring. But for someone feeling stuck or uncertain or fearful about retirement, what practical steps can they take in the next few months to begin building a more fulfilling future?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Well, they can buy my book.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yes. And tell them how to do that.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I sincerely. It's on Amazon. It's called Preferment. And again, I'm. I'm. It's. I make pennies. I mean, it's not about the selling.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It's about if you need a resource that is, you know, it's proven that it is helpful and it's engaging and it does have concrete suggestions on how to. I also have this great little ebook that I haven't even marketed yet, but it is how to get on board, because that's a huge problem in retirement. And it is. It talks about, you know, how do you find, you know, relationships and find new people to have in your life and find new things to do and challenge yourself intellectually. I. I think that there are. And if. If that's too much of a commitment for people, go into Google or go into one of your AI.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

If you do AI and ask, how do I find more people my age in my community? What are free things to do in my community? What are. Yeah, there. You know, I don't want to put a financial hurdle. It doesn't. The beauty of what I'm talking about is that everyone at every budget point can get more involved in the world around them. It always frustrates me when I have somebody who says, I'm so bored, I don't know what to do. And then I check in, you know, a couple weeks later, so how is it going on the.

Merry Elkins [:

The book?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

And they'll say, oh, I haven't started it yet. And it's like, okay, this doesn't mesh. If you're feeling bored and you can't read at one chapter of a. Very short chapters. My chapters are very short. They're a page and a half.

Cathy Worthington [:

It just.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

It's one of those things where it's like, great.

Merry Elkins [:

That's great.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Want it? I can't make you want it. I have. You have to want to. To. To have your life get.

Cathy Worthington [:

And this would be somebody who had already contacted you, so you would expect them to want to interact.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

They'd already paid for the book.

Cathy Worthington [:

They already paid for the book.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I mean, I. I understand it's very easy to get lulled into a very narrow existence. It does Take a little effort to connect with new people. But even small steps like taking yourself to a coffee house and sitting in a coffee house. I, I haven't looked this up but it's really intriguing to me that one of the Capital One credit cards has now opened. Enters where you can go. And I think that's incredible because there's a free meeting space away from home for anybody that has a credit card, I'm assuming.

Cathy Worthington [:

But yeah, they run ads on TV all the time for those, but these are the, I don't know where they are, but I guess you just put it in the, in the search and there they are.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

But we're recognizing as a culture that we do need to have places where we can go that aren't all about food because we do too much of our activities and you know, going for a walk, it's a free quality. There are walking groups in every city and every. Well, I don't know how far they permeate but there Google search walking groups in your neighborhood. I mean even in your neighborhood in a, in a large city, there are listings for walking groups.

Cathy Worthington [:

And I just, my neighbors, we have our own. Whenever we spot anybody, we say, you know, come and join us eight o', clock, seven days a week. And you know, sometimes they do and sometimes they just, it just falls on deaf ears. But it's, it's fine, it's great.

Merry Elkins [:

And I, I walk every day with my dog and I think I know virtually every person that lives within a mile of my house.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah, that's great.

Merry Elkins [:

No, you know, that person lives there, what they do, what they love and on, on the note of what they love. Looking ahead, Ann, what do you believe is the greatest opportunity retirement offers that so many people fail to recognize?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Intergenerational communication and contact.

Cathy Worthington [:

Wow.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

I think that is the, the missing link in so many people's lives. I mean the person whose friends moved away, I said start making younger friends. Love, you just gotta, you gotta, you know, look for. And I'm not saying you have to be friends with a teenager, but go, go to your water aerobics class and see if there are some 40 year old women that sound fun to you and ask them out for a coffee.

Cathy Worthington [:

You'd be surprised because my neighborhood, the Walkers, we have many, many one's in their 80s. We also have one in her 50s, one in her 60s. And every single time the one comes back from college. That started with us when she was 19 and she kept, she's just finishing

Ann Van Laenseal [:

law school where I'm a lawyer too.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah, yeah. You're a little of everything. You're amazing.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Yeah, that's great. That is fantastic.

Cathy Worthington [:

But I agree, the intergenerational thing is kind of magical. There is really no age difference when you're walking with people that can walk. We're all walking together. We don't walk huge fast speed and we're not climbing hills.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

But, you know, with living farther away, maybe you can become their, you know, fill in for a grandparent or mentor or an advisor or someone to have fun with and joke with and teach. You know, kids love to teach, too, so.

Cathy Worthington [:

Oh, yeah. And one in their 50s fixes everybody's phones when they can't figure out how to do something because they're in their 80s and they haven't bothered to learn it. And she just takes it, do this, do this, do this. And they're going, well, it's a good thing we have you, but everybody has something to offer.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Exactly.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah.

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah. And all these people, they volunteer, they do incredible volunteer work. They all do that, too.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

So volunteer work. Can I just say one more thing about volunteer then?

Cathy Worthington [:

Yeah.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

There are also wonderful places, websites, where you can go to do what they, what they call casual volunteering. You don't have to be all in on one group. You can just say, you know what, next Sunday or Saturday or Tuesday, I'd like to go and spend four hours doing something that helps. And you can find short, you know, just here there is.

Cathy Worthington [:

You don't have to be there every single week at the soup kitchen, because my girlfriend used to do that and it was. It got to be too much for her.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

Exactly. And then, you know, you're also not changing the group of volunteers that you're working with. That's another place you can meet social contacts, but you have to follow through with the people and say, get together. Let's. Let's go get a coffee. Let's meet at the park, you know.

Cathy Worthington [:

Right. Great suggestions. And this has just been such an enlightening conversation. I mean, you've shown us that retirement isn't about stepping away from life. It's. It's about stepping into a new version of it, Right?

Merry Elkins [:

Yes.

Ann Van Laenseal [:

And it can be very exciting and very diverse and accomplish whatever goals you set.

Merry Elkins [:

That sounds great. I'm ready for it. And the idea that we can intentionally design our next chapter or two or three chapters, it's really, really empowering. There's no expiration date on growth or purpose or reinvention.

Cathy Worthington [:

And if listeners would like to learn more about Ann and her work, please visit rarefiedlife.com Is that where we should be sending them? ANN yes. Yes. Rarefiedlife.com you want to spell that?

Ann Van Laenseal [:

R A R I F I E D L I F e dot com.

Merry Elkins [:

That's great. And to our audience, if you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe to Late Boomers wherever you get your podcasts. And be sure to subscribe to our Late Boomers YouTube channel. And until next time, keep creating that next great chapter.

Cathy Worthington [:

And remember what we Late Boomers always say.

Merry Elkins [:

Yeah, it's now for sure. Listening to Ann it's never too late to rethink what's possible.

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