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Voiders III: Spacemaster
Episode 87th July 2021 • The Green Horizon • Paul Walsh
00:00:00 00:23:13

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Aboard The Winded Gypsy, Grace heads to the local bar to hire a mercenary. Luke & Artemis attempt to make a deal while Maggie catches up with her favorite show.

Written & Created by Paul Walsh With:

Síona Stokes as Grace Molloy

Lauren Grace Thompson as Artemis Lex

Paul Walsh as Luke Molloy

Sophie Hughes as Maggie Molloy &

Kathryn Stanley as Galaxy Burger Cashier

Music: The Chase by Joshuaempyre

Featured Trailer- Hughes & Mincks: Ghost Detectives

The Green Horizon is a Lovie Awards shortlisted sci-fi audio comedy that focuses on a na'er - do - well Irish space captain and his rag-tag crew as they traverse a war-torn Galaxy in search of fame and fortune.

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All Sound Effects sourced from Freesounds.org as Creative Commons

Transcripts

Voiders- Part 3

The Crew of The Nightjar approach the docking bay of The Winded Gypsy

L: Right, we're docked. Couplers magnetized. Docking hatch pressurized in 3...2....1. We've entered.

G: Ew, how did you make docking sound gross?

L: I mean, to be fair, docking sounds provocative.

G: Okay, so...are we all okay with the plan?

A: Yes Commander.

G: Still don't like it.

A: Yes...Grace.

L: There's a plan?

G: I should have left you at Galaxy Burger.

L: I'm joking! I know the plan!

G: What is it then?

L: [sighs] You're heading to Prospectors to pick up a triggerman.

G: And what's Artemis doing?

L: She's picking up food supplies.

G: What's Maggie doing?

L: Engine diagnostic.

G: And what are you doing?

L: I am sitting here, not touching anything or talking to anyone.

G: Good man.

L: I'm telling you though, there's blackmarket traders in this Township with serious firepower! If you could just let me have a scope-

G: No Luke! If you're talking about the Jacketheads...they're nuts.

L: Yeah but they have the type of weapons we'd need to take down the Buzzards!

G: I said no!

L: Okay, okay.

G: [Sighs] Okay...I'm off to the saloon...stay out of trouble you, or I'll-

L: Yeah yeah yeah, kill me. You're not the first woman to threaten me with death y'know.

A: Very true. Just this morning I warned him that if he didn't stop that infernal humming I'd drive the boltgun through his brain.

G: Now there's an idea.

.......

Grace enters Prospectors, a bar aboard the Township The Winded Gypsy. She approaches Mac, the bartender.

Mac (M): Well, if this isn't a surprise. Grace Molloy, darkening the door of of my humble establishment.

G: You don't have doors Mac.

M: They're figurative.

G: How's business?

M: People come, people drink, people fight. I replace the furniture...And I open for another day. But enough about me...what are you doing hauling your beautiful self all the way back out here? Didn't you get enough of the majestic Gypsy already?

G: I'm here on a job Mac...I need a Slinger, a good one.

M: Well take your pick dear Ms. Molloy, there's a huge array of hired thugs available today. See that guy with the eyepatch and mohawk in the corner? That's Shangus the Swift. Ex-Terran Soldier of the Congolese Division. A complete soldier if you've ever seen one. Only 500, 000 credits.

G: That is way outta my price-range Mac. Who else you got?

M: See the giant over there eating that entire roast chicken? That's Ragus the Mad. Former Atlas Berserker. Guy loads up on chems before a fight and literally...cannot die. You should see what he does with an axe it's both beautiful and...terrifying. Only 200, 000 credits.

G: Still too much.

M: Okay...Jericho, the mean looking bald dude by the jukebox. Lifelong Merc, excellent suppressionist. 100, 000.

G: Ehh...

M: Christ Grace what kinda two-bit operation you running?

G: C'mon Mac there's gotta be someone?

M: Well there was this odd Canadian guy that would paint vegetables but...some slaver hired him a few months back. What's your budget?

G: 10, 000.

M: [sighs] Oh, wait...I got someone.

G: Who?

M: Names Lincoln Wallace. He's an old gunfighter from Westralia. See him over there in the Lawman duster and Rangers hat? He's like something straight out of those Pre-War movies...you knows the ones with the horses and cowboys?

G: Westralia? That's a long way from the Tantam Void...what's he doing here?

M: I could ask you the same thing.

G: What's his deal then? I need someone cheap but I also need someone that's good.

M: Cheap and good ain't exactly birds of a feather. But luckily for you...this guy can handle himself. For an old codger, he's probably the fastest draw in the entire Void.

G: Then...why is he so cheap?

M: [Quietly] He's got a bit of a condition. Motion sickness. Guy's a chronic vomit comet. The Gyspy did a routine impact evasion yesterday and Mr. Wallace went and upchucked all over the place.

G: Not exactly the best trait to have if you're enaging in interstellar combat.

M: Well, going by your budget...he's the best you got.

G: Okay...what's he drinking?

M: Moonbay Whiskey. 50 credits a glass.

G: Jaysus, bit steep.

M: Mr. Wallace has expensive taste.

G: I suppose it'll have to be a business expense. Give us one of those and a Tropical Storm Energy Drink for me...wait, no...A Radius Cola...wait...feck sake...Artermis asked me to be professional. A Cucumber Water...Euch.

M: Artemis? Who's that?

G: The client. She's a Primean looking to put a crew together.

M: What is this job Grace? I didn't take you for the type to run errands for some Appolite playing Captain?

G: Fuck you Mac, it's a Bounty.

M: And who is Marked for Death by the fearsome Artemis and her band of marauders?

G: Leader of the Buzzard Klan, Krassus.

M: The Headmonger?! That's a ballsy contract Grace, who's skull did he turn into a pencil holder to earn his own special bullet?

G: Her whole family.

M: Wait a minute, she a Lex?

G: I take it you know her history.

M: Oh I'm well aware Molloy. The Lex massacre is a big tale...you've gotten yourself embroiled in quite the feud Molloy...Let's just hope you don't get consumed by all that fiery vengeance.

G: Just, fix the drinks man. Here's your money...I'll be over with the Cowboy.

M: Sure thing Molloy...Sure thing.

Grace heads toward Lincoln

M: [To himself] Leopold King dies, then the Lex heir returns seeking revenge...strange times we're living in.

....

Artemis and Luke are in the cockpit. Artemis is busy writing down a shopping list

A: So that's:

L: Maybe add another few hundred bags, that may not be enough.

A: I'm adding in some coffee too, lord knows I'll need it.

L: How many drinks and smokes d'ya think we'll need?

A: Let me see...none.

L: What?

A: Mr. Molloy, you've scuppered my destiny once with your lying and subterfuge...you'll not do it again with your drinking!

L: At least a box of tobacco? I'm not in prison like.

A: [Pause] Fine...one carton. But no filters!

L: You animal.

Maggie enters

M: Finished looking at that engine!

A: What's the diagnosis Margaret?

M: I'll need to head to the shipyard to pick up a few bits, namely a new Tritium Container...but other than that the engine's fine...bit low on oil though.

A: Well, I'm off to the Wholesellers...would you like me to add anything else to the list Margaret?

M: Enriched Uranium!

A & L: No!

L: Y'know what? Think I'll come along for the walk Arty...stretch the aul legs.

A: Did Grace not say you were to remain here?

L: Ah jaysus, I'm only looking for a stroll...I'm hardly trying to plan a feckin bank robbery!

A: Alright...I suppose that's fair. Are you coming too Maggie?

M: Nah, I've a few more things to do before I head to the Shipyard.

Maggie turns on the computer monitor and begins watching 'Inspector When'.

L: Like watching telly?

M: It's the Season Finale! Inspector When is facing off against Nebulus! If I miss this I'm completely out of the loop with my watching group...and I know Michelle wants me out because I said her cat looks like a squashed pepper, so...I need to watch it.

L: Right so, see you later, love you.

M: No, what? It's like only an hour long.

L: [Stammers] Nevermind.

M: Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

......

Grace approaches Lincoln

G: Excuse me, Mr. Wallace?

Lincoln Wallace (LW): That depends.

G: Depends on what?

LW: Who's asking.

G: I am.

LW: And who might you be?

G: My name is Grace Molloy. I heard you're pretty handy pistolier...was wondering if you're looking for work?

LW: 20, 000. Up front.

G: How's 10, 000?

LW: Good afternoon, Ms. Molloy.

G: Wait, we didn't even negotiate.

LW: Alright. 20, 000...up front.

G: Okay, I have 10.

LW: And I say good afternoon. I think we covered this the first time.

G: Listen, I had a word with Mac over there, he told me about your problem...not many Spacefarers would contract a man with chronic motion sickness, Mr, Wallace.

LW: Mac told you that? Slack-Jawed gossip. Why I oughta slap the taste out his mouth.

G: 10, 000 Mr. Walace.

LW: 20 Ms. Molloy. I ain't budging.

G: What are you doing out here anyway Mr. Wallace? Mac says you're Westrailian...You're a long way from the Aurum System.

LW: What I'm doing, Ms. Molloy...is drinkin' and waitin' for work. The 'why' is a different story, and it's one I ain't sharin' with folks I don't know, throwin' me lowball job offers. Now, I'll say again...If you ain't gunna up the price, good afternoon.

Mac approaches with the drinks

M: Water for the lady, and Whiskey for the cowboy. Can I get y'all anything else?

LW: You can get me a cane to whip you with, you odious Muckraker!

M: It slipped out Mr. Wallace, what can I say?

LW: You could say nothin'. You're costin' me my livin' with your tittle-tattle.

Mac leaves

G: Gossip or not it's still the truth.

Grace pics up the drink and has a sip

G: Euch, what's the point if it's not sugary or bubbly.

She puts the glass down

LW: Get that abomination away from me.

G: What? The water?

LW: Those green little devils.

G: the cucumber slices? You're afraid if them?

LW: That's a Dasher II. Dark green hybrid, white spined, disease resistant.

G: How do you know so much about a vegetable you hate?

LW: Know thy enemy Ms. Molloy. Get it away.

G: So let me get this straight; You're a motion sick, cucumber fearing out-of-work Cowboy...If I were you, I wouldn't throw my nose up at 10 grand.

LW: [Pause] 17.

G: 11.

LW: 15.

G: 12.

LW: And a half.

G: Done.

LW: Okay, we are in business Ms. Molloy. Question is, what's the job you need me to do.

G: We're taking down the Buzzard Klan. My friend has a score to settle with their Chieftain.

LW: Krassus? I know him. I don't like him. In fact, had you said that from the start Ms. Molloy, 10 Grand would have done just fine.

G: Now you tell me.

LW: Finishes his Whiskey Let's get going. Mac, a whiskey for the road.

G: The cheap stuff!

....

Artemis and Luke are walking the streets of The Winded Gyspy

L: So, how are you?

A: What are you doing?

L: Making small-talk?

A: Are you happy, Luke?

L: Sorry?

A: You told Margaret that you loved her, yet she was too busy watching that drivel to respond. I saw the hurt in your eyes. Do you regret your marriage?

L: I don't want to talk about it Artemis.

A: What? I'm making small talk.

L: No, you're trying to upset me.

A: Yes. I am. It's the least I can do considering you lied to me and caused my ship to blow up.

L: Yeah well, I'm trying to make up for it! I'm still here, and still working toward your goal of killing whats-his-face. I'm also willing to take a 10% pay cut, just so you know!

A: Luke, if I caught fire I wouldn't pay you to put me out.

L: Hey, let's cut down this alley?

A: What? But the Wholesaler is right there?

L: No, I have this thing I have to do. Just come with me...two seconds. I promise it'll be worth it.

A: I don't think-

L: Do you want to catch this guy? Because if you come with me, I promise we'll be one step closer to getting him.

A: Fine...but if you try anything, I'll use that boltgun on something more sustantial than that peabrain of yours.

They walk down the alley...the hustle and bustle of the street dies down. They are met at metal shutter by two members of the Jacket-heads, a local Gun Running gang.

Jessup (J): Yeah?

L: How'ya lads? Are you Jessup? I think it was you I was talking to?

J: Search him.

Jacket-Head Thug: Yes boss.

L: Oh, this is a deep frisk.

Thug: He's clean boss.

J: Check the bitch.

A: Excuse me?

L: Sorry lads...first time doing a back-alley arms deal, y'know yourselves like?

A: I will not be called a bitch and I will certainly not be fondled like a basement whore. We are leaving.

L: No, we're not.

A: Yes we are.

L: No, seriously...we're not.

A: Yes Luke, we are going right-

Jessup pulls a gun

A: Shit.

......

Grace and Lincoln return to The Nightjar. Maggie is sat, eating crisps and finishing up her show.

G: Hey Maggs, what's going on?

M: [Sniffs] Just finishing up Inspector When, it was a really emotional ending. Who's the cowboy?

LW: Names Lincoln, Lincoln Wallace.

M: I'm Maggie, the engineer.

LW: A pleasure.

M: Ohh, he talks fancy. I like that.

G: Maggie, where are the lads?

M: Well Arty went out to get the shopping, Luke went along with her.

G: What?! Feck, no!

M: What's wrong? Did you forget to ask for Jelly Snakes too? I'm kicking myself to be honest.

G: He's meeting up with those fecking Jacket-Heads. He's trying to cut a gun deal.

M: Is that not good though? Don't we need guns to take out this Pirate?

LW: Luke...he's your brother?

G: Yeah, unfortunately.

LW: And your consort Ms. Maggie?

M: My what?

LW: Husband.

M: Oh, yeah.

LW: And the orphan Lex is in tow?

G: We have to assume so.

LW: Well, unless you fine folks wish to be bereft of spouse, kin and mutual employer...I suggest you find out where they're headed.

G: Why? Are they in that much danger?

LW: That depends.

M: I found something in Lukes Message Folder. He's meeting a man named Jessup on Riker Alley.

LW: Jessup, I know Jessup.

G: And?

LW: I don't like Jessup.

G: Shit! Okay, let's go!

M: I'm coming too!

G: No Maggie, it's too dangerous!

M: Hey! He may be your brother...but he's my husband! I need to be there to give out to him!

G: Fair enough. You okay to come Lincoln? You've had a few Whiskeys.

LW: Ms. Molloy...If I can't shoot drunk, I can't shoot.

M: I really like this guy.

LW: Thank you kindly.

.....

Artemis and Luke are held up in a storehouse.

A: Well Luke, this has gone down a treat.

L: Hey, if you hadn't been so prissy about being felt up, we would be swimming in guns right now. Instead we're tied up inside this warehouse...waiting to be shot.

A: Well maybe if I'd had some forewarning about this I would've had the chance to prepare...or better yet, not come altogether!

L: Well I was hardly going to go on my own, that'd be dangerous!

A: As opposed to this?!

Jessup enters, he walks quietly around them for a moment, the sound of broken glass crunching on concrete echo around them...tension builds as they wait for him to speak.

J: So...you come here, make me bring out my best merchandise...then you disrespect me. I held up my end of the bargain Molloy...All I asked was you do the same!

L: Look...Jessup, she's Primean lad...She's just not used to people like yourself! Just...let's just hit the reset button on this whole gun deal okay...Arty and me'll walk out...knock on the door and pretend none of this happened!

J: You Primean?

L: Arty...Arty answer him!

A: [reluctantly] Yes! [Sighs] I am.

J: I got a better idea. If you're Primean...That means you're rich. I bet ol' ma 'n pa'll pay a pretty penny to not have to ship you home in pieces.

A: Good luck there, you piece of human waste. Oh, haven't you heard? I'm a Lex. Sorry...No payday for you.

J: You're that bitch that survived Shepards Pass? Shit, I know someone that'll pay big money for you!

Shutter doors open, Lincoln, Grace and Maggie storm in.

G: Get away from them dickhead!

M: Yeah, if anyone's going to kill my husband it's me.

J: Wallace? You're running with these fools?

LW: Money's good Jessup.

J: You know he's afraid of cucumbers right?

several armed men storm the room

J: Forgot to mention, my men were next door. Looks like you're outnumbered.

LW: You a bettin' man Jessup? Lincoln pulls a coin from his pocket:

, Westralian mint, circulated:

J: What are you talkin' about Wallace?

LW: A little Heads Or Tails Jessup. Heads we drop our weapons, tails you drop yours. Is that agreeable...or should we keep this Mexican Stand-Off going till we're all singing 'Juana Gallo'?

J: Fine, but I want tails. It's my lucky side.

LW: Have it your way gringo.

Lincoln flips the coin, and in a flash draws his Pistol on the Jacket-Heads, putting them all down before the coin hits the ground.

LW: Tails. I guess it was your lucky side Jessup...Too bad it wasn't your lucky day.

L: Okay who the fuck is this guy?

A: Can somebody untie us please?

G: Yeah hang on.

Grace unties the pair, then slaps Luke.

L: Ow!

G: What do I have to do Luke? What do I have to do eh? A thousand slaps? A million? How many before you understand that you...are inherently...a cock-up.

L: I was...I was just trying to help.

G: Help...by not helping Luke.

L: Fine...I'm a passenger anyway, may as well completely act the part.

G: What does that mean?

L: Look at us. You're the highly trained Ex-Fleet Commander. Maggie's the Engineer savant, Artemis is the self-trained fighter pilot with the reactions of a cat on speed, now we've hired feckin Gunslinger McGee.

LW: Names Lincoln Wallace son.

L: You know what I mean. You all bring something bar me. I am terminally unimportant.

G: But...You have a degree in business.

L: I'm pretty sure like...Half the population of Ireland has a degree in business.

Metal clang

M: Oh wow...Look at this gear!

A: Show me? Oh my goodness.

G: What?

Grace walks over to the stockpile

G: Jesus. Rocket Launchers, Proton Rifles, Lawbringer Handcanons, is that a Ship-Mounted Embron Turrent?

L: Yeah, I knew we needed this stuff.

LW: That's some fine ordinance son.

L: I don't know why, but you saying that has given me like... strange child-like pride...like you're my dad...say it again.

LW: I'd rather not.

G: Okay, see Luke? I wouldn't've had the...the...

LW: Gumption?

G: Yes, exactly...The gumption to atempt to get this stuff. You nearly died yes, but...We have it now.

L: So I'm forgiven?

A, G & M: No.

G: But, this is a start. We'd better get this stuff out of here before any more of these lads come.

M: Actually Luke...A word?

L: Yeah sure, outside?

G: Oh no, don't worry about us. We'll just haul all this gear ourselves.

L: Yeah thanks sis.

G: Fucker.

.....

Maggie closes the shutters behind them.

L: Okay, hang on...[Breathes heavily]

M: What's going on?

L: I'm readying myself for the slap.

M: Relax Luke, your sister hit you for both of us.

L: Oh, thank god.

M: Listen, on the way down here to save you...I got thinking.

L: Oh?

M: There was a part of me that thought you might die. So I started planning your ulogy.

L: As everyone does.

M: I realised that, if I did need to say a few words...As your wife...I wouldn't really have much to say.

L: There's a shining endorsement of ones personality if I ever saw one.

M: No...what I mean is...We got married the day we met. We never got the chance to get to know each other before we said 'I do'.

L: What are you saying Maggie?

M: What I'm saying Luke, is would you like to go out sometime?

L: Oh, yes. Yes I would.

They Kiss.

M: And I want a divorce.

L: What?!

......

End

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