Welcome back to another episode of the IRA Cafe podcast! Join Kyle Moody, Business Development Manager at American IRA and new host of the show, as he sits down with Pamela DeRitis, executive presence and on-camera coach and founder of Connect and Captivate. 

In this insightful episode, Kyle and Pamela explore the intersection of business communication, emotional intelligence, and authentic human connection—both on and off camera. Drawing from her unique journey from acting in Atlanta’s booming film industry to coaching executives and business professionals, Pamela shares how the Meisner acting technique translates into practical strategies for anyone looking to improve their presence, whether in networking, sales, public speaking, or virtual presentations. 

You’ll learn how foundational acting principles and improv exercises can ease the anxiety of speaking on camera and help even the most business-minded professionals connect more deeply and genuinely with their audience. Pamela also introduces her newest project, Command the Close, which is designed to help sales professionals use EQ to enhance their results. Whether you’re looking to launch a podcast, shine during webinars, or simply make more meaningful connections in your business, this episode is packed with actionable advice and heartfelt encouragement.

Key takeaways:

1. Pamela’s coaching embraces the Meisner technique, emphasizing the importance of placing your focus on the other person to foster authentic connections, reduce self-consciousness, and improve both live and virtual communication skills.
2. The foundations program Pamela offers blends actor’s training, improv, and personalized feedback in a structured eight-session format, helping clients baseline and refine their executive presence—no acting experience required.
3. Pamela stresses that developing emotional intelligence (EQ) and human connection skills is valuable in any setting, from sales calls and networking to video marketing and leadership, making these abilities universally beneficial beyond acting.
4. For anyone struggling with nerves on camera or during presentations, Pamela’s top tip is to imagine speaking to one specific person related to your topic, which instantly personalizes your delivery and enhances its relevance and power.
5. Her new Command the Close program adapts EQ and improv skills specifically for sales teams, helping shift the focus from aggressive selling to authentic problem-solving and genuine relationship-building with prospects.

Tune in for practical guidance and a dose of inspiration on how to trust yourself, connect from the heart, and bring more life into your business communications. Whether you’re new to presenting or a seasoned professional, Pamela’s strategies can help you amplify your message and maximize your impact.

Ready to take your financial future into your own hands? Visit us at www.americanira.com to book a call.

Hi, everyone and welcome to an all new episode from the IRA Cafe. I'm Kyle Moody. I'm the business development manager here at American ira. And we really appreciate your time today spending some valuable time with us and our guest. Hopefully we're going to deliver some great information for you that you can use today or in your presentation future. So without further ado, I wanted to talk about our guest today. Her name is Pamela Deridis and she is the executive presence and on camera coach with connect and Captivate. So, Pamela, welcome to your time here today on the IRA Cafe.

Thank you so much for joining us. And that sounds like a lot. So if you can give our listeners just some background on you and what you do with that title.

Sure. Well, first of all, thank you, Kyle, for having me as your guest today. I'm very excited to share what I know with your audience. So thank you again for bringing me on. I am an executive presence and on camera coach, meaning I coach EQ skills. That's really what it comes down to. Human connection skills. How do you tell the story? How do you influence your audience as applied to being on camera? Because a lot of people are, they feel awkward when they get on camera.

So there's a whole school of thought that I have learned as an actress that helps you be comfortable on camera and tell a good story as well as applying that to live speaking. If you have a keynote speech that you're going to give, if you are addressing your local chamber of commerce, whatever that is, if you're giving a live presentation and you feel awkward about that as well, a lot of the skills that I teach are they crossover between both delivery methods. So that is what I do.

Wonderful. Great. Now, you had mentioned acting. And for those of you who are out there watching or listening, Pamela and I have actually had a couple of times already to get together virtually and get to know each other before she came on. So I did learn this about her and it sounds like a really interesting background of what's led to this. So tell us a little bit about the acting, what you did before that, what led you into acting. And it does sound, at least in some of our previous conversations, that you saw something in the acting mixed with your business acumen, that you have actually been able to bring the parallel into presentations. Tell us a little about that.

Yeah, so I got into acting as an adult. I, I guess I did maybe one or two plays in grade school. So technically I did some acting when I was young, but I really took a fervent interest in it. As an adult, after I moved to Atlanta in 2008, I saw that there were a lot of movies being shot here, which they are once again now that everything has opened up after Covid. But at the time, there were some really big movies like Zombieland, Life As We Know it, those were all being shot here. And I just started doing some extra gigs. And from there I was bitten by the bug and I started going to acting class. I got.

Eventually got an agent. But in those acting classes, I learned a very specific method. It's called the Meisner method, and I can go into it as much or as little as you like. But the gist of the Meisner acting method is teaching you to connect authentically and strongly with people that you may not know. So does that sound like anything you know? If you're doing a podcast, like you are, if you are giving a speech like I know many of us do, you're not going to know everyone in the audience. If you go to a networking event, you're not going to know everyone in the audience. So the more I learned about Meisner technique, the more I felt that it was really applicable to the business world. Now, there are some things that I don't teach my business clients that we as actors do learn.

We are learned to push ourselves emotionally to lengths that I wouldn't do with my business clients. But a lot of that is really applicable. Like, do you know anyone who is awkward in front of a camera? The chances are you do. And the skills that I've picked up from acting are perfect for that.

Well, and that's actually. It's like you were reading my mind, because in looking at your background, I had seen the Meisner technique and I thought, what is that? And I wanted to ask you that. So you stole my question there. I appreciate that. Well, no, no, no, because it's interesting and I've seen other people out there that talk about, instead of me making it about, or maybe the sale is to really, I think, is it the make the you first, something like that? Is that kind of how that Meisner works? Where. And I think you just said it of, do you know someone that. Or has this happened to you? And it's the way that you're able to put the person that you're speaking with right there in a situation. Am I.

Am I hitting on that? Is that. Is that how that works?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So we're looking at the Meisner technique, and it really is all about. The fundamental of Meisner is you put your focus on the other person. And this helps to create that authentic connection. It also helps if you are one of those people who gets in your head a lot and you get awkward and self conscious. Actively putting your attention on the other person helps alleviate a lot of that so that you can build this relationship full of life. Even if that relationship lasts for 10 minutes or 30 minutes while you're giving a talk.

It is an authentic connection because you're getting out of your head and connecting through your heart and through your instincts with another human being. So that is the essence of Meisner. Putting your attention on the other person, connecting with them.

Okay, wonderful. No, I appreciate that. And one of the other things that I had seen in your background was you're training on a. I believe it's called foundational coaching. So is there any type of parallel with that? Is it the same thing? Are there any differences?

Well, I believe you're talking about my foundational program. Is that, is that the.

Yeah, it was one of the. It was, yeah, it was the foundational coaching. How you go in to really help folks in their, in their networking or in their presentations.

Yeah, yeah. So I, I have a foundations program. It is an eight session program where we do a lot of, obviously the foundational work of, of not only Meisner, but I throw improv in there. I throw some just techniques that I've made up along the way as an actor over the years. But what I do is in that eight weeks I baseline the client and it's usually one on one. I do work with groups, but most people come to me for one on one training. And I will do like heavy baselining week one and we'll put you on camera, we'll analyze what you do well and where there are opportunities for improvement on camera. And then I build your kind of bespoke program from what I see in week one.

And there's plenty of room for adjustment as we go. Some people pick up skills more quickly than others, so I, but I build that program after observing in on day one, week one. And we'll go through a series of exercises and then we'll, we'll do a midway check in on camera to see how far you've come. And then at the end we'll do kind of a wrap up on camera session as well. And I do this with people whether or not they want to eventually be on camera. Even for my speaking coaching clients, I do this because it's great feedback to see your own progress. So that is the essence of the foundations program that I do.

Great. And you Know, I know that there might be folks who are used to tuning into us because they're going to get some real estate advice or information or education on how to move forward with using a self directed IRA in their next investment purchase they're going to make or how they're going to do private lending with their self directed account. I mean, obviously that's what we specialize in. So they're probably listening right now going, I'm not an actor or an actress. What's Kyle doing? How can Pamela help me? Is there a way that. So you don't have to be just an actor or an actress. This is something that can bridge the gap to everyday people in their working lives.

Oh yeah, yeah. The power again, I'll go back to how I learned it. The power of doing this kind of work is that you develop a very keen instinct for your relationships with people, even if you don't know them. You kind of do this work over time and you learn to work from your instincts about people. Again, getting out of your head and into your heart so you get that ability to connect with people better. And who in what setting is that not an advantage? Right, that's an advantage in a sales call. If you're the salesperson or if you are on the other end potentially being as a client, it's applicable to networking. There's just all kinds of applications for this.

And no, you do not have to be an actor to study this. I've taken this whole school of thought and adapted it for a business audience. And that is what I do. I teach business people. I don't teach other actors. I actually 100 teach business clients because there's so much richness and life that we can bring to our business relationships that I feel are maybe lacking sometimes. And then we can bring that business, that life to our video marketing that's lacking sometimes. So it's absolutely applicable to the business world.

If you do any kind of video marketing, if you want to connect with another human being more authentically, if you're a salesperson, even if you're on the other side of that sales equation, I believe that it really hones your instincts around the person in front of you so you have, you can marshal your emotional intelligence to work with a salesperson more intelligently. Not to repeat myself, but I believe that it's advantageous for anyone to increase their EQ skills because that leads to better outcomes for you.

I've always believed that one of the most important things for a leader or anyone to know is that they don't know everything. And that there's always the sharpening of the saw. There's always folks that are going to come behind you that you can really learn from. What I'm hearing is that this coaching, your experiences can end up being very broad to where somebody is looking to launch a podcast. They're looking to get into webinars. We had talked about it earlier with the Pandemic and Covid. It took people away from the public and brought them inside. And just like my office here, it's just me, as with you.

So there were new ways that folks were having to communicate. So this is something that you really can work with folks if they are looking to get into the podcast and webinar space.

Oh, absolutely. I always think about what is my mission in life with this business. And I believe you. If you have a mission and a vision that you're going after, you have more chance of success, just personally and in business. And I've always told myself, and I don't think I've actually said this on anybody's podcast. So, Kyle, you are. You're going to get it first. And my mission is to reconnect the world, or connect the world, I should say.

And I don't mean electronically. We. We're all connected electronically up one side and down the other. Maybe a little too much. But my mission with what I do is to enable human relationships, enable human connection in ways that we forget to do, or maybe that were impaired by being inside and only seeing each other through a screen for a year or two, or depending on where you lived. You know, I feel like that put a. A big dent in how human beings relate to each other. And I'll go back to what I said earlier.

I really do teach human connection. Yes, I apply it to being on camera, but it's all about connecting from the heart. And so my mission is to bring that back to society as much as I can.

So with that and what you can coach folks on and what you're trying to tap into, what are a couple of specific tips that you would give someone that is looking to launch in the podcast space or in the webinar space. And specifically, I know we're supposed to make it about the you, but I can speak personally, hear from folks and for the audience. Pamela knows this. We talked about it. And why I'm actually a little nervous today is that if you are feeling the same way of I don't know if I can do it. I don't know how to do it. Talking in front of people isn't a problem. But if I'm talking into a camera and can't see reactions of folks, how do I know that somebody's listening? How do I know that I'm saying the right thing? Just, you don't know what you don't know.

And so where I'm going with this for the audience is this is the very first time I have ever led a podcast interview. And so what you can't see, probably, hopefully not, is all the nerves that are. That are inside on that. But I really think that this interview, this podcast session here really hit at the. At the perfect time and that we were introduced to each other for a reason. So what are some tips that you would either give me for today that someone else might be able to use if they're looking to get started?

Absolutely. I have a couple different things to add or to suggest. 1. Well, before I do that, Kyle, you're doing great. You're fantastic. And I wouldn't know that you had those nerves unless you had mentioned that. So if I, as a trained actor, you know, don't notice that you have that going on inside and that's totally normal, then I think you're off to a much better start than even you're giving yourself credit for. So please take that for what it is meant to be as a compliment.

And I think you're wonderful. As far as tips go, if you are doing a podcast or talking head video, I. I'll kind of center around that, where it's just you talking to a camera. So you might not have a guest, you might not have me on the other end, but you want to do a talking head podcast. Talk to one person that you know in real life who is related to the issue that you are speaking about. I'll give you an example I've done. I've written about this, and I've also done some videos about whether or not, in my professional opinion, you should use a script when you're creating marketing videos. My answer is no, that's the tldr.

But I go into more you know about it, and I give my answer based on a. A bunch of people, actually, but one in particular person that I have worked with in the past who became so wedded to the script that every word mattered. And if there was. If at any point they ever strayed from what the script said or said the wrong word, it was, okay, let's stop. I have to pick up my script, read what I wrote, and let's start again. And that just killed any Spontaneity. It killed our momentum and it made the video shoot, frankly, twice as long as it needed to be. And I saw that early on when I started doing this work.

As an actor. Yes, obviously I have to memorize the script. And depending upon the director that you have, you may or may not have leeway to improvise. If you ever forget anything, that's just how it is for an actor. But it's not that way, that there's no rule that says you have to have a script if you are a business person. So I've got that person in my mind whenever I talk about this topic. Even if I'm not doing a video about it. I have that person in my mind right now as I'm describing this to you.

And that is my first piece of advice to you. Have somebody concrete that you know in real life that has this issue or is somehow connected to the issue that you're talking about or the topic, and you can guide that person. I think that will make your delivery so much more specific and so much more relevant to the audience. Even though they are not that person. Your delivery will just be so much more specific in so many more ways, emotionally, orally, whatever you say, it's more powerful. So that's one thing. My other advice, or maybe this is more of an observation, we've been doing this today. Kyle, you started off beautifully and you asked me a couple of questions.

And this conversation has taken on a life of its own. It's got its own momentum, it's got its own energy. And we have a great back and forth going. And it's going to sound cliche, but you have to trust that that will be there. I'm in a play right now and I have a small part. It's live theater, so there's no do overs. You get your lines right or you don't get them right and you have to kind of deal with whatever happens. And I've learned again over time as an actor that when I step out on stage in my scene and I speak those first lines that I have, I allow that the scene is going to have its own energy and its own life that might be different from yesterday.

I might say the line differently. I might have different energy. I might forget a line, I might skip a line. I've done that. And you just have to have some faith in yourself that as a human being who knows how to connect with others, you're just going to let this conversation take shape as it will. I know that sounds a little kind of Loosey goosey. But it really is something you should keep in mind. You kind of trust the process is the short version of that.

Does that help at all?

Well, it actually does, and it leads me into my next question for you. Just a couple more here. So I think one of the things that we were talking about when we first started chatting a few weeks ago is I'm the opposite of a lot of folks where I can get on stage in front of a few hundred people and not have a problem with going out and speaking. I am also, like you, to where I'm not a script person. Shooting from the hip is a lot easier for me. Maybe it's the years in sales. The product may be the same, but the scenarios may be different for folks. So I talk to all different folks with all different backgrounds and all different objectives each day.

If I'm on stage in front of a bunch of people though, all of them are there together. And then I'm the professional in the room that's bringing the education. So are there any tips for, say, keynote speakers that might be different than someone who is just looking into a camera at one person or no one at all?

Yeah, I would say that certainly. How you come in the room, figuratively or literally in the case of giving a keynote speech really has a lot of power to set the tone and to set your mindset for the speech. So when I say come in the room, there's. There's. To me, there's two different ways you can come in a room. Walk in. Hello, my name is Kyle. I'm here to talk about IRAs and what they will do for your future.

And let's get into it. Right, that's good. That's fine that it's factual. And you are, Kyle. You're talking about IRAs or whatever the topic is. A better way to enter the room is to come in confidently with a strong point of view and without ceremony. You put your stake in the ground. That is what we do.

I'll go back to acting. That's what we do as actors. We make a strong entrance because that is a more powerful lure to keep the audience engaged. So what would that look like in your case now? I. I don't know. I don't have knowledge of IRAs that you have from your perspective. So I'll just kind of pull something out of the air, come in and you could even be contrarian. I'm going to tell you the five ways that you could fail at opening an ira.

And, you know, tell me. I'm Wrong or whatever. I'm not saying to say it that way, but it's a more powerful thing. If you walk in with a strong point of view and you open up with that strong opening so that you're setting the tone for the rest of the. The speech, does that make sense? I don't know if that was a great example.

It really does. No, it does.

Okay, good. If you ever get lost during a keynote speech or any speech, again, put your focus on. In this case, it's not a scene partner and it's not one person you're talking to. It's. It's your audience. But if you continually refocus your energy to who is in front of you, find somebody or two or three people in the front row, keep it to a minimum. I wouldn't go looking for multiple people because that just makes you unfocused. But if you find one, maybe two people in the front row, notice something about them.

Are they happy? Do they have a smile on their face? Are they wearing an interesting outfit? Just notice anything about them that you can emotionally connect to. You don't have to verbalize it. It's all about getting your attention off yourself and onto the other person. So if you refocus your energy out and get out of your head, then you can continue on. If you ever feel like you're lost or, okay, I'm losing my energy, or whatever it is, that's a good way to kind of reset yourself. If you're in the middle of your speech, hopefully that helps too.

No, it really does. And those are things. I mean, I hope. I hope our folks out there have learned what I've been able to learn today as well. I've been taking notes as you've been talking, so that's a big help. As we wrap up here, you actually have. This is kind of a little tickler. I may be putting you on the spot on this, but you've got a new project in the works, not fully launched, but something you're still working on.

We've seen some paper on it or a website on it, and it's infancy, but I know you're excited about that. Do you mind telling the audience a little bit about that?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's called Command the Close. And it is a program that I put together specifically for sales teams. Salespeople. Sales teams. And it takes all of the EQ skills that I've been talking about. You know, here. We're looking at it here.

Building your authority or authenticity and your presence, active listening, empathy, all those things. And I've. I've adapted it, I've retooled it for salespeople in particular to meet their needs when they are talking to prospects. And part of the reason I did this, you know, I come from an EQ background. Part of the reason I did this is when I have talked to salespeople myself for whatever coaching products, you name it, I often notice that the salesperson is putting their needs onto me. They need to close their sale, they need to sell X number of products per month, they need to sell their coaching. It's all about them. And that has always bugged me and it always kind of frankly turns me off.

When salespeople do that, you're allowed to obviously pitch your thing. You know, you have to do that when you are selling. I have to do that when I'm selling. But I believe there's a line that maybe not. Maybe some salespeople are not fully aware of. They. When they cross the line into, I'm trying to push you to sell this because I need you to buy it versus I want to sell this to you because I feel like it will improve your life in some way. There's a difference there.

And so if I can make an impact on sales teams and how they approach their audience, then I feel like that's just the next evolution of what I'm already doing for individual speakers. Also, in this program, we. We haven't really talked about improv a whole lot, but if I can just say a little bit about that, I do incorporate some improv into my training, both for the. The sales program as well as my speaker training. And that is another thing. You. You had asked me about tips earlier. That is another tip that I might give is.

Is encapsulating what I teach in improv. I'll just say think about how the person that you want to be would walk into a room. How would they address a certain situation? So I go into all of that when I do the improv exercises in my training. And I think this is especially applicable to salespeople as well. It gets them into a different frame of mind, you know, and can get them into a little more empathetic frame of mind as well. So that is my new program. It's a. It's a baby.

And you've. You've just announced my baby to the world. So thank you for doing that, but I'm excited about it.

Well, thank you for allowing us the ability to be able to do that. I think I agree with you that even coming from A sales manager in this space. It's not always the product that I need to sell someone. What I see a lot is they already have it. They've already got an old 401k. They've already got the IRA or the Roth. They may not be able to invest the way they want to at their current custodian. So they need more of our company then they need the product.

So I tell them, hey, I'm not selling you the product. You've already got it. But I believe in the education of how they can use their product. And I have always said if you really educate and inform, the sales will come because in that case you really are making it more about them. I know how this works, they don't. So I love being able to educate on that. And just on this, as we talked about earlier, where folks are probably like, well, what is this program going to do for me? It may not do it for every single visitor we have today, and that's fine. But as long as it helps at least one, then we accomplish something.

And that's one thing we like here at American ira, is that we can try to hit all the corners and bring a lot of things to you that you might learn something about. If you'd like to learn more about Pamela, by all means you've seen her contact information on there, we'd love for you to be able to check her out. I know that I've enjoyed our time together. I know that I have actually learned something from her in our multiple talks that we've had. And if there is something that you'd like to learn about American IRA or what you can do with your self directed IRAs and how your self directed retirement account can, can boost your investment objectives, we'd love to be able to help you out with that as well. This is a picture of our website right here. And if you'd like to book a consultation with me or any of our sales staff, we are ready to speak with you. You can go to americanthira.com and love to be able to answer any questions that you have and see how we can be a resource for your investment in your future.

All right. So Pamela, is there anything else that you'd like to add? Any final tips that you want to give our audience?

Well, thank you first of all, Kyle, again for having me as a guest. And I think this is a great way to add value to your audience and not, I mean, I'm biased because I am your guest, but I think you're doing a great thing by bringing in people like me who are not necessarily of the financial world, but we have knowledge that can be a real asset to your audience. So thank you for doing that. I hope your audience has gotten some value out of this. Tips. I'll go back to what I said. I, I think talking to one person is the biggest tip in the world. But trust yourself.

Just, just really trust yourself. Sometimes you just have to leap and the net will appear. And not to sound cliche, but that's kind of what life is all about. If you want to achieve anything, you learn the skills you need to learn and then you kind of let it go. In a way, you, you move forward while letting it go and letting the process serve you because you've learned the process. So that's my final, my final words.

Well, there's a lot of investors, a lot of our clients that will tell you that, that they, that they waited and they waited and they waited. And when they finally took the leap and started doing their investing, it changed their life for the better. So again, wonderful guest today. You have made my inaugural leap in the podcast a positive one and I really appreciate that. For all of you out there, we thank you for your time. We look forward to having you again as our guests for our next IRA Cafe podcast and also our IRA Cafe webinars that we put on and anytime that you have any questions. As always, you're more than welcome to reach out. Love to be able to speak with you once again.

I'm Kyle Moody, Business Development Manager at American ira, and we'll see you next time.

American IRA llc, a North Carolina llc, acts as a third party Administrator for New Vision Trust Company, a state chartered South Dakota trust Company, as a neutral, self directed IRA administrator. American IRA does not recommend or endorse any investments, individuals or entities, including financial representatives, promoters or companies. American IRA and the IRA CAFE are not responsible for other statements, representations or agreements, nor do we evaluate the quality or profitability of any investment. American IRA does not endorse guests on the IRA Cafe Podcast. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily necessarily reflect the views of American ira, its subsidiaries, associates or custodian. Participation in the podcast is voluntary and no compensation is provided. American IRA is not a fiduciary and cannot offer financial advice. Please consult your CPA or another professional before making financial decisions.