KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST:

• How to unravel your feelings around money and asking for money
• Why repetition shapes the way you think and behave
• How to tell your brain a different story
• The importance of showing ourselves compassion

THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO REMEMBER ABOVE ALL ELSE:

There is enough money for everybody, so don’t get caught up in the guilt and scarcity that is happening in the world but be part of the solution instead!

HIGHLIGHT YOU SIMPLY CAN’T MISS:

• The questions you can ask yourself to help understand your money mindset
• The 3-step process to improving your money mindset
• Why there’s no better time than now to start your own business

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

TRANSCRIPT

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. So I have a really, really exciting episode for you today. I had the pleasure of being contacted by Denise Duffield-Thomas' team. And to ask if I would like to interview her, which I was like, Well, like SO obvious.

That's not a call. I was very much like OMG. Yes, please. So I am assuming, you know who Denise Duffield-Thomas is. If you don't, then you can thank me later. She is an amazing money mindset coach from Australia. She has had three books out already and another one's just come out and I've read her books and I've ordered the new one.

I pre-ordered it, uh, which I will have by the time this episode comes out, I'm actually only recording this a week before it comes out, which is normally. We normally have a much wider window for our podcast, but obviously we wanted to get it out as quick as possible because she's got this new, amazing book out, had so much fun talking to her.

She was so lovely and so much of her morals and ethics and the way she does business is in line with mine. She is also very anti sleazy, bro marketing tactics. And. She does really quality stuff. In fact, she talked me through, after the call, we carried on chatting for about half an hour, which was lovely.

And she showed me her new course and like, she's put so much effort into it. And it was just so reassuring to see that someone at her level cares as much as I care at my level, that, you know, we deliver a quality service and that people get genuine transformations outta the work we do. So that was really, really ACE.

Uh, I really think you're gonna love this episode, please, please, please share it. I would love you to tag us in I'd love Denise to see what an amazing audience I have and brilliant community. And I really, really appreciate it. So yeah, here is the amazing Denise Duffield-Thomas. Okay. It is with a much excitement that today I welcome to the podcast, the amazing Denise Duffield-Thomas. Denise, welcome to the podcast.

Denise: Thank you so much for having me. I just so appreciate it. It was funny. I'm in winter and you're in having a massive summer.

Teresa: Yeah. Yeah. Which is funny, cuz at one of my team members. Left the UK recently and finished working with me because she's gone to live in Australia for 18 months. And she's literally posting beaches and it's horrible here, and you are having a heat wave and I've moved to Australia. It's ironic.

Denise: You know what? It's so funny. I actually have to check the temperature for today because you you'll just laugh. I was freezing today and I think it was about 15 degrees. Yeah. It was something like that. And I was walking along the beach and I was just like, it's so cold, but yeah. And then soon we'll have heat waves and you'll be freezing.

Teresa: What's the heat. What temperature does it get there? Like what's the hottest?

Denise: We do have a couple of 40 degree days, at least every summer, which can be just so hot. It. Yeah, it'd be crazy, but I, I live near the beach, so I have a nice beach breeze, which is good. I can see the oceans from here. So it's that's nice.

Teresa: So cool. Isn't this the most British way to start a podcast talking about the weather? Like could I be any more start typical.

Denise: Nice cup of tea.

Teresa: And talk about the weather. I love it. I love it. Denise. I start the podcast the same every single time where you tell my amazing audience who you are and what you do. Now I'm sure they know who you are. But we'll human them anyway. And we'll go ahead as normal. Please introduce yourself.

Denise: Of course, I'm Denise Duffield-Thomas and I'm a money mindset mentor. And by that, I mean, I help people with the mindset around charging, around having conversations around money and specifically dealing with your past and your stories and beliefs about money that stop you from living a beautiful first class life.

And I do that through my books and courses called money bootcamp. And I live in Australia. If you can't tell by my accent. I'm married to a British man though from he's, from, uh, Crewe.

Teresa: Nice.

Denise: Yeah, and I have three kids and two doggies.

Teresa: Nice. How old are your children?

Denise: I thought you were gonna say, how old are your dogs? Cause I always talk dogs more than my kids.

Teresa: Not interested with the kids, we talk about the dog.

Denise: Um, 8, 6, and 4.

Teresa: Man.

Denise: And we, yeah, it's intense. And you know, my hubby went away for the weekend. On a boys' weekend and left me with them. And I was just like.

Teresa: So much hard work. Honestly. I have one that I, I learned my lesson very quickly. One was enough for me. That's all I could manage.

Denise: That would be plenty. Our eight year old, she goes, "I told you not to have any more kids." That's what she was saying after that, when I was trying to get them all to bed, she goes, "Should have listened to me. I told you to have no more children after me."

Teresa: That is hilarious.

Denise: Indeed.

Teresa: And I think as well, like we were just talking because your new book is about to come out called Chill and Prosper. And we were just talking about the fact of, you know, it's hard work sometimes and having children and juggling families and working and doing all the things as much as you really do, uh, you know, demonstrate what you teach. There's still times where it gets crazy busy.

Denise: Absolutely. And I'm, I'm totally in it now. And it's always of my own making. And this is what I talk about in the book is, you know, being a chillpreneur is a practice and nobody's perfect at it. And I I'm someone who is very delusional about how long things take. And my capacity to do work.

So I tend to say yes to a lot of things. So what I talk about in the book is, you know, you have to sometimes develop systems. Because behavior change is actually really hard. And if you can do things in spite of having to, to change it, and I'll give you an example, my Calendly account to do, um, interviews, it used to just book things back to back.

And I would just be again, so delusional about time and space and oh, I don't, I don't need to pee or eat.

Teresa: Yeah. Who on earth would do those things?

Denise: So, but I've set up the system in spite of myself that it could, you know, there can only be a certain amount of interviews per day. They have to have half an hour in between. So it's not about being perfect.

It's about finding the easier path for you. And, and sometimes you have to do that in spite of yourself, which I, I often have to do to.

Teresa: And that's what I love actually about you and your books. And I think probably your books are probably some of the ones I first read about money mindset. Cause if you'd asked me four or five years ago, what money mindset would I, I wouldn't have had a clue and I don't think I could have told you.

And I don't know that I would've understood the importance of it. And I think it took a bit of time. But. What I love about the books is not only are we talking a mindset side, so we're talking a lot of stuff that some people might find it hard to get their head around to begin with. But you talk about a very practical side.

And I remember in one of the books, you talk about how obviously you have electronic keys to cars and you talk to having electronic keys to your house. And how else could you make it easy? And I love that. I love that practical element of. One with the calendar. No, actually. And I'm exactly the same as you. I will literally book back to back, or even when I do leave a gap, I know what I'm like.

I will be on a call, a coaching call and I'll stay on longer. Cause I'll think, oh no, I've got actually my next call. Isn't till this time. Instead of thinking, no, you need to get off and get a drink and have a wee and, you know, get ready for the next call. So I love the fact of sort of practical and the, the more mindset stuff.

So when did the mindset stuff really? When did you kind of go, oh, hang on a minute. This is important.

Denise: The mindset piece for me, I think is actually where I started from because I started reading personal development books at a really young age and started, you know, watching Oprah after school. So I always knew that mindset was important and I knew that work was important, but for some reason, I didn't know how to put that together with money.

It was kind of like, cool. You can do your woo woo practices over here, and then there's like money and they're just that they just had to be separate, I think, in my mind. And so it wasn't probably until my late twenties that I just sort of went, wow. I've been doing all of these things for a long time, but it hasn't moved the needle of my finances.

What if I kind of combine them a little bit? So I started looking at the work of Louise Hay, for example, you know, so much self-love work and things like that. And I was like, well, what if I did that kind of work with my money and, and treated my money, like a spiritual practice. And so. And I also think it came from the other side of me.

When I, when I started learning about the law of attraction, I was like, but what do you do? I, I really thought it was about just becoming perfect in your thoughts. You know, I was like, oh, I just, I guess I have to meditate every day and just become like a really nice, good person. Because we, we are so caught up in this deservingness piece of what we have to do to deserve money instead of realizing, well, sometimes you just have to put yourself in the path and just ask for it.

And that's hard because of all the mindset stuff. So it becomes this chicken or egg kind of scenario where you just go round and round. You have to do both all the time.

Teresa: Yeah. Yeah. And like you said, it's a practice. I, I found that all the mindset stuff I've done, I think people, you know, meditation's a great example.

I meditate every day and people think, you know, oh, once you've got it, you've got it. And I just can't get it. And it's like, no, I will still sit down. And I've been doing this for a couple of years now. I will still sit down in the morning and go, yeah, it's not working today. I could not get this to work.

So I think it's that constant practice and that constant reminder. So if someone was sat listening, thinking, okay, but what sort of things, what is it that I'm meant to be doing? How can I be trying to improve this? Because our brain is insanely powerful and we have the most like possible critical side of us ever.

You know, we'll say these affirmations or whatever, and then immediately we'll go. Yeah, really though. So what kind of things can we be doing to think about this money mindset?

Denise: Yeah, so I like to reverse engineer sometimes things, right? And because sometimes in the personal development world, we think really big woo woo spiritual stuff. It's like, I can, I'm willing to receive money. I'm willing to receive, universe I'm open to receive a million dollars and then someone offers you a compliment and you say, "No, no, Nope." Or are you friends? That's can I buy you a coffee and you go, "No, no, no, no." And so it's those small things sometimes that are so symbolic.

And I talk about in my money bootcamp about incrementally upgrading your life. Looking around and seeing what makes me feel poor. What makes me feel inconvenienced, but really what you're looking for is those symbolic things that, uh, well, that. A symbol of how you treat yourself, how much you think you're willing to have, how much comfort you're allowed to have.

And so sometimes it is the small things that make the biggest difference. So here's an example. If you really struggle to ask for money, you know, as in you struggle to invoice, you struggle to set your prices, things like that. You might have to go back and unravel this deep, fundamental feeling that it's impolite to ask for what you want.

And you might have been told you, get what you get. You don't get upset. You might have been told that it's greedy to ask for some another thing, you know, or, and, and so you might have to practice and go to a cafe and say, do you mind if I have a little bit more milk for my tea?

And that might take everything that you have. But if you can't do that, You know, it's just putting a band aid on the top to go "Universe I'm ready for my millions." It's like, well, you're actually not. So that's what you do. You do those tiny, tiny little things. So I teach a, a three step process in money boot camp and we just, we go over it again and again and again.

And we look at it from a million different ways. So it's OCP. O- Origin stories. you know, and this is where sometimes people start here and I just say, make an inventory of everything you think of you remember about money, and then you could say, tell me about, you know, Christmas. Tell me about birthdays.

Tell me about your birth order. Who got, who, who got what they wanted and who got hand me downs in your family? So there's a million different prompts of ways that we could figure out some of our stories. What did your family talk about when it came to money? How did they talk about rich people? How did they talk about poor people?

How did they talk about what did, what did, what was a real job in your family? What was not a real job. What was your unofficial family motto? If you had a, a crest sometimes it's, you know, Jones has never quit. So we look at all of those things, but we don't just stay there because sometimes we don't remember, or we don't see the nuances.

So that's O of OCP C is Connect the Dots to how this is showing up in your life right now. And actually some people start there because they come to me and they, they have a problem. I, I can't charge, or I can't send out invoices or I just hate talking about money. Sometimes it's specific. Sometimes it's just this vague feeling of I'm just not meant to be successful or money seems to allude me.

So then we would go, what are the origin stories? So if you were told. You know, all the time growing up, it's really impolite to talk about money. Well, that's a really big understanding and a compassion for yourself. Of course you struggle to put a price. Because it's against every fiber of your being.

So that's the C- Connecting the Dots. So we've got Origin Stories, Connecting the Dots and then P is for Patent Interrupt. And this is where we, we change either the thought the behavior, we can do it incrementally. We can do it like straight away. And so a pattern interrupt in a moment could be. Oh, I always say things like there's not enough money or we can't afford it.

So in that moment, I'm gonna say there's always more money. Something like that. So you can do patent interrupters in the moment you can do long term stuff where it's maybe do Tappy. Yeah. You know, things that kind of change you from a, you know, like a, a brain point of view. Or long term stuff could be working with a coach surrounding yourself with other people who talk about money.

Because it rubs off on you. And so you can see how you can just go around and around. Cause I, I still come up and realize new origin stories, or I'm always coming across the same money blocks and you know, you have to kind of go back and do it. So. Anyone can kind of start to dig into that. It's an excavation.

Teresa: Yeah. Yeah.

Denise: You know, and yeah.

Teresa: Sorry, go...