The primary focus of today's discussion revolves around the significance of liturgies, particularly in the context of sending and supporting individuals who embark on global missions. In our conversation with Heather Fallis, a gifted writer and passionate advocate for liturgical practices, we explore her new book dedicated to those who send, illuminating the often-overlooked sacrifices made by senders in the missionary journey. Heather articulates the transformative power of liturgies, presenting them as tools that not only facilitate prayer but also foster a deeper connection with God amidst the complexities of transition and grief experienced by both senders and sent. Through her insights, we explore the delicate balance of acknowledging loss while simultaneously celebrating the call to send, emphasizing the communal nature of this journey. This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the interconnectedness of our experiences, urging us to recognize and honor the vital role of senders in the mission field.

Takeaways:

• The podcast emphasizes the significance of liturgies in providing structure and guidance for prayer, especially for individuals navigating transitions in their lives.
• Heather articulates the profound impact of senders, such as parents, who support their loved ones embarking on global missions, highlighting the emotional sacrifices involved.
• Listeners are encouraged to explore liturgies as a means to articulate their feelings and experiences, offering a valuable tool for personal reflection and connection with God.
• The conversation underscores the necessity of acknowledging the emotional turmoil associated with goodbyes and transitions, advocating for intentional practices to process grief and maintain joy.

Hey there and welcome back to the Clarity Podcast.

This podcast is all about providing clarity, insight and encouragement for life and mission.

And my name is Aaron Santemaier and I get to be your host.

Today we have the opportunity to have with us on the podcast Heather Fallis.

Heather and I have a insightful conversation.

She's written a book on liturgies for those who send.

Heather has a passion for liturgies.

She's a beautiful writer.

She's insightful, she's spirit led.

And you put those three things together, well, that's a blessing.

So we get to sit down and just hear from her on the process that she went through and the importance of recognizing those who sinned.

She dedicates this book to her parents, the importance of what they've modeled to her in sending her, releasing her.

Also, she shares a little bit about one of her children going back to the States and the then she is now the sender.

And what that looks like, it just encourages.

Sometimes we don't know how to pray.

I know when our daughter went to university, you want to pray, but you just don't know what the words to say, how to put them together, how to communicate it to God.

And Heather does a beautiful thing for us.

It's a gift, truly is a gift to be able to sit down and read through prayers and just be able to share our heart.

I think it also lets us know that some of the things we go through are common and we're not the only ones.

And the importance of.

So she has prayers there for churches, for networks, for friends, for family and just, yeah, just a blessing.

Do ask you to continue to subscribe to the podcast and know the podcasts I subscribe to are the ones I listen to.

And please continue to send in your questions for Back Channel with foet.

That's where we sit down with Dick Foth and we get to learn from him.

It's always fun on our sessions with Back Channel with Foe.

Well, there's no time better than now to get started.

So here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the Clarity Podcast.

So excited to have a new guest with us today.

Heather, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you so much for having me.

Heather, I got an opportunity to read your writings, which are a blessing.

And I think in a podcast as a host, you get to know people.

You feel like you get to know them through the writings.

But for those who have not met you yet, would you share a little bit about yourself before I start asking you some questions?

Sure, yeah.

And I started writing words and.

And blogs and things like that for people like me living abroad.

Yeah, back maybe in.

And I'll share more about kind of how that came about as we continue talking.

But it's just really become a beautiful way for the Lord to encourage people like us that are serving overseas.

And it's been really fun to see the audience grow and to see how, yeah, the Lord has used the words that he's put in my heart to be an encouragement to others.

So I've now written a couple of books, and I'm about to release a new one that we're going to talk about today called for those who Send.

So, yeah, that's a little bit about me.

I've also.

I'm married, have three children.

My oldest is now in the States, and then my other two teenagers are here with us on the field.

Very, very cool.

Very, very cool.

Somebody listening in.

And you said sensitive country.

What does it mean to live in a sensitive country?

Yeah, so there are different terms that can be used for that.

I think sensitive countries, maybe an older term now, we tend to call them creative access countries.

And it just.

We cannot come in and be on, like, a religious visa.

We have to have a creative way to be in the country to get access to having a visa.

So we run a business here, a language center where we teach English.

And so that's our way to be able to be in the country.

And then all of our ministry activity is just relational.

So building relationships and loving people and allowing those relationships to open doors to share about faith.

Very cool.

Imagine that a English teacher or somebody who teaches English is a writer also.

So that's quite amazing.

So before I ask you questions specifically about the book you've written, I'm from a background that liturgy is not so common.

So if somebody's listening in and they're from a background, they're not.

So, yeah, they've not used liturgies in the past.

Could you share more about what a liturgy is and the impact that it's had on your life?

Yeah, absolutely.

So traditionally, liturgy refers to, like, an order of worship in a church.

So there typically are churches that we would say are liturgical churches and then non liturgical.

So in those churches, it would include the prayers, the call and response, the sermon, scripture readings, just everything a part of the service.

Would be considered liturgy.

And then when we say liturgies, typically it would be the prayers that are used in that worship service that are usually written for specific times, sometimes along the timeline of the church calendar, different moments and seasons, and they're often referred back to.

So kind of, we would say recycled.

They're used again and again, and they become familiar to the churches and to the people that are in those churches.

In a more modern use of the word liturgy has, excuse me, kind of come to mean just the habits and routines that shape our daily lives.

So there's an author, maybe some people would be familiar with the book Every Moment Holy by Douglas McKelvey.

That was kind of the first book of liturgies or prayers that I think really broke through into kind of mainstream Christianity, where he introduced liturgies or prayers that were just for daily moments, like your morning cup of coffee or folding the laundry.

And it's a way to kind of invite the presence of Jesus into just these regular daily moments of life.

So I, like you, did not grow up in a liturgical church.

My background is quite the opposite of that.

And so for a long time, I did not really have a very high view of liturgy.

I grew up in a church that really prioritized the leading of the Holy Spirit and praying in a more spontaneous kind of way.

But I have found that just like the Holy Spirit can lead a pastor to write a sermon, the Holy Spirit can also lead someone to write a prayer for the edification and blessing of the church.

And it can be really, really powerful.

So I personally didn't start reading or using liturgies until after we moved overseas.

And in our first two years on the field, I found myself in a season where I was just really struggling to find the words to pray to articulate the culture shock, the transition, the grief, and the loss that I had experienced.

And I kind of got into a place where I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to pray about some of the things that I was feeling, because it was hard.

And we had gone through a lot.

The transition was wonderful and terrible all at the same time.

And so I just remember kind of getting to a point where I was like, I don't know how to pray right now.

And in that season, I turned to the psalms, and that really gave voice to a lot of the things that I was feeling and experiencing, and also showed me that there is power in praying a written prayer, because as I read those psalms and as they made them my own, it not only gave me words to pray and I didn't really have my own, but it reminded me of truth that I needed to remember in that moment.

And so through that experience, I dug more into other liturgies, other prayers that had been written, and just have found them to be such a rich addition to my time of abiding with the Lord, because just like a beautiful song can move you to tears and, you know, a worship song that you sing, and it's not saying anything that you maybe didn't already know, but it just kind of resonates with you and brings you to a place of surrender or acknowledging what you're going through, a place of praise.

I think liturgies can do that same thing.

So it's just become something that's been really, really special and precious to me in my own personal life.

Awesome.

And I think it gives us an ability to be contemplative.

You know, as I said, my background was a lot of action and not necessarily a lot of contemplation.

And so I think that that's a value of liturgies, too.

And my mom passed away about almost three years ago, and so she had been going through a book on the psalms.

So it's been powerful for me to read the psalm.

And then she has a prayer at the end that she's written.

You know, I mean, and so anyway, something.

You know, all.

All the psalms, there's the song, there's a devotional, and then in the psalm, too, so.

Been something.

It's.

Yeah.

Something that lives on.

So.

So in the world we live in, it seems to be ever changing and rapidly changing.

How can liturgies center us and help us provide is some of the stability that you talked about in this energy.

So I think, especially for the life of a global worker, our lives are filled with transition and change, even more so than somebody that is just living in their passport country.

And I know for myself, I think of the word routine as kind of a bad word, a dirty word, because no matter how hard I try to have a structured routine in my life overseas, it just gets foiled.

Every single time somebody shows up that you're not expecting, the power goes out, the water's out.

You know, there's just always something that happens that kind of messes up a routine.

But what I have found with liturgy is that it can help bring a rhythm.

So where a routine might not be attainable, a rhythm is possible, and it brings a rhythm of worship into our daily lives.

So we have a liturgy for when the power goes out.

So even though I don't want that to be a normal part of my routine.

Unfortunately, it is a normal part of our lives here.

And so having a prayer that is specifically for when the power goes out, it takes what can be a moment of frustration and turns it into an opportunity for worship.

So I think with all of the changes, all of the ebb and flow and the ups and downs, it's just an opportunity to invite Christ into those daily moments of our lives and to really anchor us in truth.

I think it's really important that the liturgies that we read and that we pray, that they're always really anchored in scripture, they're anchored in truth.

So that as we're experiencing changes, as we are going through transitions, we're not just getting caught up in the emotion of it, but that we're really turning our hearts and our minds back to what we know to be true.

And I think that's.

You know, what I love about the Psalms is that the psalmists do such a good job in almost every psalm, no matter how raw and how vulnerable and unfiltered the prayers are, and the wording is, most of the time they come back to a place of praise, a place of worship, a place of acknowledging who God is, even in midst of a difficult circumstance.

So I think liturgies are just a really beautiful way to be able to do that, to say, okay, I am moving again and this is really hard and I hate packing and I don't want to do this, but I can open up this liturgy and I can take a moment that includes a lot of transition, a lot of change, and make it a moment where I'm reading something that is familiar because I've done it before, and it is centering my mind and my heart on the truth that I need to remember right now.

And then I love this, this book specifically because it's for those who send and, you know, trying to find the words.

We'll get a little bit more into that in a bit, but trying to find those words, they can be a challenging for all involved.

And you, you, you provide eloquent, beautiful words for those.

So, so you dedicate this book to your, to your mom and dad, to your parents, and you share that they demonstrate to be open handed with those they treasure.

How have they impacted you?

As you're, you're the sent one, right?

And.

But how has their open handedness with that treasure?

How's that impacted you?

So we've been on the field for about 11 years now, and the distance has become familiar.

We're Used to it.

It doesn't make it easier, but it is, you know, it's just what we do.

And last year, after we had been stateside for a couple of months, we were preparing to fly back to the field that evening, and dad walked by the room where I was in and he kind of poked his head in and said, how about you guys just stay here?

And I knew that he was joking, but I also knew that there was a bit of a painful truth in what he said.

Because no matter how many times you say goodbye, and no matter how supportive a sender might be of the people that they're sending, especially if it's a parent with the support of the work that their kids are doing, it is just really, really hard to send them.

And I don't know anybody who has been more supportive or more generous towards their kids who serve abroad than my parents have been.

I feel very, very grateful.

I have a lot of friends serving overseas whose families are not super supportive.

And so it is such a gift to have a family that I've never once doubted their support of what we do.

But I know that it is really difficult.

And I know it's their faith in the Lord that enables them to send us well, because it is a huge sacrifice for them.

When we came overseas the first, our kids were 6, 8, 6 and 4.

And I know it had to be just absolutely gut wrenching to watch us walk through those airport doors with our little kids in tow.

And as Nana and Grandpa had to wave goodbye to those sweet little ones, it was.

It's such a sacrifice.

So I'm so grateful that even though it has cost them much, they have always done it with such a attitude of gratitude that seems kind of cliche, but they really have just been so grateful for our willingness to answer the call and go, and grateful that they get to be a part of it as senders.

And I wrote a blog one time about how my parents bought me a suitcase when I graduated high school.

It was the.

The Christmas gift that I got the year that I was going to graduate.

And I said, you know, I have.

I imagine they had no idea what they were really enabling me to do and how far they were enabling me to go by the gift of that suitcase.

But it became this really significant moment in realizing that they chose.

They chose to say, we want you to go where the Lord is calling you to go.

We want you to know that we are behind you and that we don't expect you to always stay close by.

We want you to be free to follow the Lord's calling wherever he leads.

And that's just been such a gift.

You mentioned my dad would frequently say when I was home, you know, there's a. I'm from Wally Ford, West Virginia.

And he'd say, there's a fertile field here in Wally Ford, West Virginia.

You know, if you're looking for a fertile field, just, you know, stay here.

But, you know, it is.

And that leads me to my next question.

I mean, you've written this book that we often celebrate, at least in our places of worship, we'll celebrate those that are going and those have been sent.

But the obedience and sacrifice that those who do send is probably rarely.

Maybe.

I would say maybe it's acknowledged a little bit, but I don't know if it's celebrated in its greatest sense.

And so one of the things in this book is you wanted to bring that sense of celebration for those that are sending.

Any other thoughts on that, on how to celebrate those?

Because you and I, we have a call, so we're being obedience following that call.

But when it impacts our family, it didn't.

They're also called too.

Right.

Because they're having to release.

And I think that's the older I've gotten, obviously my kids gotten older, and you begin to think, oh, this could happen to my kids too.

It's a different feeling.

And we'll get into that, too, but it's a different feeling.

So thoughts on that, how you would love to celebrate more those who are doing the sending?

Yeah, absolutely.

I think, you know, anytime we're back in the States and we go and visit churches and we share, people are abundantly generous.

They will call us heroes, which I don't like.

But, you know, they're trying to be kind.

We've been at churches where they've, like, given a standing ovation.

And it's just the.

The level of honor for us and what we do is just always so kind.

And it's not something that we expect, but we feel very, very loved and appreciated.

But I've never seen a sender experience that type of generosity or applause or appreciation that we receive, and yet we could not go if it wasn't for them.

Whether we're talking about families or supporting churches or, you know, whoever it may be.

So I wrote this book because I want those who send to know how much they matter.

I want global workers to be able to have a gift that they can give to those who send them as a way of saying, I acknowledge that my going costs you something.

I've told my family countless times how grateful we are for them, but I've never been able to physically gift them something that really shows my appreciation and I think kind of acknowledges the sacrifice.

And so my hope is that this book will be something that people like us can give to those that send them, to celebrate, to acknowledge, to say, I see you, I see what it costs you to send me, and I want you to know that I appreciate it.

And I think the book is very honest about the grief that those who are close to global workers experience in their sending.

And so I hope that as people who send read it, they feel affirmed in their experience as a sender.

Because I know it can be really challenging when you feel like you have paid a price that just goes completely unacknowledged by most people.

It's kind of this hidden loss, this hidden grief, or this thing that you just feel like you have to kind of put on a brave face.

And so I hope that, and acknowledging in a very honest and real way how challenging this can be, that those who send will feel celebrated, that they'll feel affirmed in what they do, and that they'll know that their sacrifice is seen and very much appreciated.

And I think you give people the ability when they're sending to recognize that their feelings are common and they're not something they need to be embarrassed or ashamed or wonder.

You know, the enemy works in all kinds of different ways.

You know what I mean?

But I think you give.

You allow people to understand that what they're going through is common.

And a quote often share is what is shared.

Grief is endurable grief.

And I think.

And it gives the opportunity to share how you're feeling with the Lord, but also with others.

And I love the idea.

Obviously, I work in member care, and so that was what you just said.

I thought this would be it.

This is a fabulous gift to give.

People are commissioned to give their families.

And as a way to say, we see you, we honor you, and we're thankful.

More thankful for you.

One of the things you wrote in there was about the idea of a tck and sending a tck to where the Lord was calling her is calling her.

How did that experience maybe activate more of an understanding of the sender sacrifice and the obedience it takes for that?

I don't think I would have written this book if I did not go through the experience of sitting my daughter on a plane across the ocean to live a world away from me.

I was aware, obviously, that it cost our family something, but I don't think that I could truly grasp how significant that cost was until I experienced a version of that myself.

And it was absolutely excruciating to have to let her go.

And, you know, it was kind of like the tables had turned and where I was used to the one going and walking off, you know, into this adventure.

Even though it's not always easy, there was always something to kind of look forward to.

Yeah, But I didn't realize that when we left the airport and my parents went home, there wasn't any grand adventure waiting for them.

They just had to go home and feel sad and feel the emptiness that was left from our absence.

And so experiencing that myself definitely gave me a deeper understanding of what our senders experience.

And it just made me reflect a lot on how little that we who go are often able to empathize with and support those who send us in their grief.

We talk about.

About how in times of transition, our capacity to support other people is just drastically reduced.

So even in talking about working with, like, our tcks as parents, when we as a family are going through transition, we need so much support around us because it's a season where our kids are needing a lot of support, but we probably have the least capacity to actually give them that support because of the transition that we're going through.

And I think the same is true for those that send us.

They really do need.

Need support, they need care.

They need to know that people are praying for them.

They need to know that there are resources available to them.

But often those of us who are the ones going, we're just, you know, in our own heads with all of the things that we are preparing for and walking through.

And so, yeah, experiencing that as a parent has helped me to realize there we could be doing more.

We could be doing more to support the senders.

And so.

So I just would love to see that this book and hopefully other resources that will become available in the future that there will be a greater awareness of the need to support the families and friends of those who are sending.

And, yeah, I'm just thankful that my experience now sending my daughter and knowing that because of the work that the Lord is doing in her heart, it's very off.

It's very possible that she and I will not live on this same continent for a majority of our lives.

I don't know what the Lord has for her, but she's very open to going where he sends her.

And so I'm wrestling through that sense of, okay, I've got to be willing to say yes to this, I've got to be willing to keep my hands open and send her.

And so it's really just made me so much more appreciative of the people that have done that for us.

And it's, as you said, it's the, the other thing is, I think in that season is you're, you're transitioning, so you're learning a new role, they're learning a new role.

You're all in transition.

It's a, I'm telling you what, it's a trail tears all the way around.

So we, when we sent our daughter back, you know, she went to, she came to the States and so we'd be at dinner and, you know, my wife would just start crying and I'd look at my son, he'd look at me, and I'm like, yeah, I think this is kind of the new normal, you know, had nothing to do with him.

We were, you know, we're glad that he's still there.

But at the same time, you know that the emotions.

Just because you sit down, you were used to sitting down with four, and now you're sitting down with three, and then now they're sitting down with three, too.

So I mean, it, it does really change.

And I think in those times, everybody, as you said, we're.

Look, we're establishing a new normal.

And it just takes, this takes a while to get there.

One of the other people that I think really invests in our lives is, is pastors and churches.

They.

There's a.

There's a sacrifice for them.

And so how would you envision them, a church using the liturgies to pray for as those.

As the senders and pray for those that are being.

Yeah.

I believe that many pastors and churches really want to pray for the global workers that they send.

But sometimes maybe they don't know the person very well or they don't know the situation well enough to really know what to pray for.

They might get a newsletter, you know, quick little blurb about.

Here are some prayer requests or see a Facebook post.

But not having enough information to feel like they really are.

Are confident of what to pray for.

And so there are quite a few prayers in this book.

A couple of them are for reading a newsletter or for when you're not sure what to pray or when there's danger abroad.

You know, it's very common that our global workers end up in situations that are dangerous or unsafe and you feel compelled to want to pray for them.

And so now there is a prayer that you can use to help give words in a season like that.

There's also a prayer for when they visit your church.

So this is something that you could pray, you know, in preparation to have somebody come and visit it.

There's one for giving sacrificially that could be used as you're preparing to take up an offering.

One reader told me that she could see like a church mission committee opening their meetings with one of these prayers.

Just using them to kind of pray corporately or just individually as they receive a newsletter from a missionary.

And they don't want to just read the newsletter and then disregard everything, but really, you know, to help kind of create a spirit of intentionality as they read this just kind of of would be something that you read that.

That you would pray before you read that would prepare your heart to read the newsletter with intentionality.

So yeah, I think there's quite a few in there that would be really helpful.

There's one for when they are.

When they move back home.

And that tends to be a season where global workers really struggle.

And it's very hard for those who have never gone through that experience to and really understand how difficult it is.

And so using a prayer like that could be really, really beneficial not only to.

To pray an informed prayer, but also just to help you understand as a sender what the things they might be going through feel like and some of the dynamics so that even as you have conversations with them or figure out how to support them, well in that time, there are some things in these prayers that will maybe shine some light on ways that they can.

Can not only pray through these things, but then put some action behind it and really support the global workers that they send for sure.

And one of the arsoning churches, they, you know, they have Saturday and evening prayer.

And I just thought, you know, you see the pictures on the wall, it's some.

Sometimes you need a little bit of priming of the pump, you know, I mean or.

And I do think it.

It that's how I also, I thought envisioned that.

That this would be a great way for.

For people to have just as they think and pray for the ones they send.

And once again, as.

As you've mentioned the word a few times, it takes intentionality and it creates a.

It invites the Holy Spirit into.

To.

Into the place and into their hearts and into their minds and a very intentional way.

So one of the other liturgies I personally found valuable was the liturgy from when we miss someone's presence.

How can you.

Or could you unpack The.

The importance of.

Of acknowledging when we miss somebody's presence.

And it's.

It's okay to.

It's okay to acknowledge that.

Right?

Because as we struggle with loneliness, it's one of the.

The feelings that in my.

You know, my kids told me one time they were.

I only allowed gladness in my home.

I didn't allow all, you know, lonely, sad, you know, all the.

What I considered negative ones.

So.

But anyway, loneliness is one that I don't.

I was probably uncomfortable.

Comfortable acknowledging.

So how can we acknowledge loneliness and also a liturgy to help us walk in when we're missing someone's presence.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the people that send.

They're used to the one that they sent being a regular for.

For the ones that are used to them being a regular part of their lives, there is a real grief and the loss of just everyday moments.

So, like what you were saying about your wife life, crying at the dinner table when somebody.

When your daughter was missing, you know, there's.

There's nothing that significant about dinner, but it's just that rhythm of having somebody, a part of your normal life, and then all of a sudden they're gone.

There's a real grief there.

So when we first sent our daughter back to America, I remember going to a restaurant and requesting a table for five because it.

That was just what we always did.

And then my husband was like.

Like, how many did you say?

And I said, five.

And he's like, it's just four.

And saying, like, my eyes just filled with tears because that pain of her not being with us, I just missed her presence.

I just missed her being there.

And so I hope that when people read and pray this liturgy for missing someone's presence, and there's several others kind of along this line in the book, that it just creates space to both grieve the loss and to have that sacrifice acknowledged, because it is.

It is a loss.

And it's important to acknowledge those losses, because what I found is that if we just kind of stuff it down and try and pretend like everything is okay, or if we feel like maybe it's too painful to really think about the loss, like, I'd rather just kind of push through and put on a happy face, because if I think about how hard this is, is I might just not recover.

I might not be able to get out of bed or whatever, you know, it.

It's really unhealthy to do that.

It's important to acknowledge the grief and loss.

And so one thing that I'm always really intentional to do, because I believe it's where the power in these liturgies lies, is to not let them just be a glorified pity party.

We don't want to just talk about how sad and how miserable we are, but to wrap the honesty of the situation in the church truth of God's word.

And so, as I have written these liturgies, I'm always very, very careful to make sure that I'm weaving in the truth of not just the reality of the situation and the hardness of it and the grief, but also the truth of who God is in the midst of grief, why we're doing what we're doing, and how he's faithful in that.

So even though some of these prayers cover emotional and hard topics in an honest way, they're also going to point our hearts back to God's goodness and love and truth.

So it's possible to read a prayer like this and grieve and be honest about how hard it is and also rejoice in God's faithfulness and his goodness and his presence with us in the midst of times, like, really missing someone's presence.

Yeah.

Good word, Good word.

Liturgy for saying goodbye.

I think saying goodbye becomes more common.

I don't.

I've never found it to get necessarily easier, actually.

I think for me, it's gotten harder rather than easier.

Thoughts on your liturgy when it comes to saying goodbye and the importance of doing that in an intentional way.

I definitely agree that the goodbyes get harder.

That has been my experience.

And there is something that happens when we know that a dreaded goodbye is coming, so we can let the shadow of that goodbye kind of loom over us and steal away the moments of joy that we have being together.

So our daughter is headed back to Asia soon for a couple of weeks, and so I'm very much looking forward to seeing her.

But there's a part of me that feels like from the moment that we're reunited this weekend, that the clock is ticking towards the time that we have to say goodbye.

And so there's kind of the.

This sense that we can step into a reunion and also be dreading the goodbyes.

And it's important to grieve, but we don't want that grief to still away the joy of the togetherness.

So this liturgy is something that you can look at as an intentional way to stop and to acknowledge and be honest about the grief and to pray through it and then release it to the Lord so that you're not swallowed up in it.

And then you look back after the person that you're saying goodbye to is gone and you realize, man, I really like that looming goodbye.

Kind of overshadow the time that we had together.

So the goodbyes are not going to get easier.

This prayer is not going to necessarily make the goodbye easier, but it invites Christ into, helps us to acknowledge this is hard.

I do feel torn.

I'm proud of them for going, but I also wish they didn't have to go.

And all of these kind of conflicting emotions, we can just bring them to the Lord and invite him to meet us there and know that he sees us, know that he is with us, us in the tension of sending.

And then we can be present in the moment that we have with our loved ones before the goodbye comes and even after it's passed.

So true.

And I think at least for me, put a lot of protective measures up because you don't necessarily like to feel the sadness.

Back to my kids saying they only like when I'm happy.

I was only liking that when they were happy.

But I think this idea we do put up protective measures which would say I don't want to think about.

So if I just keep within my box.

I always use the analogy that I was a potted plant as long as I didn't put myself into the ground, let my roots grow.

It was just easier to pick up and move on because there was nothing to dig up and the trauma that goes with digging something up.

But anyway, I think the goodbyes I've.

I've got to a point where I just figure I might as well plant myself and we'll figure that the digging up when we have to have to get there.

So near the end of the book, near the end of the book you share a letter letter to senders.

What are some of the things global workers wanted to share in this letter to senders?

So I put out a request on my Instagram for people who are serving abroad to share the things that they wish that their senders knew in an anonymous way.

So I wanted them to feel like they could say whatever it is that they that they wanted their senders to know.

And it was really interesting one, to see the common threads and the things that were repeated with all of the responses.

But two, I would was honestly prepared for there to be a lot of complaining.

But the overwhelming majority of people's responses had to do with how grateful they were.

And I just thought that that was so important that the senders know that those of us who go truly are just so so grateful for what they do, for their sacrifices, giving for their prayers, for their support.

Some of the things that.

Things that were expressed multiple times were how much it matters when they hear from their senders.

Many people just said, when I get a response to my email newsletter, it means so much to me, even if it's just one sentence, because, you know, I'm sure you've experienced it.

You spend all this time, all these hours or whatever, crafting this newsletter, pouring out your heart about what's going on.

And then sometimes it's like crickets.

You hear nothing, nothing back, and so you don't even know if anybody read it.

And so to have somebody take the time to just send a quick note saying, hey, I read this.

I'm praying for you.

When people reach out and send a message on Facebook or on some other platform, it means so much to those that are being sent.

So that was one thing that people really wanted expressed.

Another thing was just how grateful for, and cognizant of.

Of the sacrifice their senders make that people really are.

Several people said, you know, I know that it really is costing you a lot.

And I.

It's hard for me to express all the time how grateful I am, but I just want you to know that I really do know that it is a huge sacrifice that you make to send us.

So people really wanted their senders to know that.

That they are truly grateful.

They wanted them to know that even though they're not able to always keep constant contact, that it doesn't mean that they don't care about what's happening back home, that they love hearing what's going on in people's lives.

They love getting a text message or, you know, some kind of communication if.

If you have a win or exciting thing happen.

We love hearing about those things.

And so even though we may not talk all the time, it doesn't mean that we're not paying attention, that we don't care, that we've just completely distanced ourselves from our family and friends back home.

We do.

Who want to hear about what's going on in their lives.

Another thing was how much it means when people ask questions.

So a lot of people talked about how it's impossible for us to, in a newsletter or in a Facebook update or through social media to really tell all the stories about what our lives are like and what the Lord is doing and what we're experiencing.

And so when people ask a question, and sometimes we don't know, like, what do you actually want to know?

How much do you want to know.

You know, we come back to the States and sometimes people will ask a question, wanting to know something about our experience overseas, and we launch into this long, you know, narrative, and you can tell their eyes just kind of glaze over and they check out and you're like, oh, maybe you didn't really want to know all of that.

So when you have an opportunity where somebody's genuinely interested and they want to know beyond the newsletter, beyond the Facebook update, what's going on in your life, that really means a lot to the people that go.

So for senders to understand that is really important.

And yeah, I think senders will read this letter and one, just feel really appreciated.

I hope that they'll see that those who they send really do appreciate them.

And two, maybe just more informed on how to love those that they send well.

So I hope that the letter is just kind of a.

A little inside peek into what most global workers wish that they could express to those that send them.

I loved it.

You're the specialist on.

For those who send in liturgies.

Is there a question?

If I was a better podcast host, I would have asked you.

And then I'm going to ask you to.

I'm going to ask you to pray for us.

But seriously, is there something that you think, man, Aaron, when you, you should have asked me this and you didn't ask me, or maybe I did a half decent job, I don't know.

But any, any, any final thoughts?

And then I'm going to ask you to pray for us.

Yeah, you had great questions.

I think maybe the only other thing I would say is that even if somebody has never prayed a liturgy before, has never had an experience with liturgy, even if you may feel like that's just not for me, that's not how I operate, I would encourage you just to try reading through some of these liturgies because I think even if you still prefer to have a different way of praying, it can be a catalyst to a more informed type of prayer where you read some things that you say, oh, I've never thought to pray this, or oh, I've never acknowledged this experience.

And I think you mentioned it a little bit ago, but just that, that kind of permission that we feel when somebody else has written something that acknowledges an emotion or experience that maybe we just haven't even acknowledged within ourself, it can just be really powerful to kind of.

Of open our hearts up.

And something that I always love to remember about prayer is that we cannot pray anything that will be surprising.

To God.

And so it doesn't matter how honest or maybe difficult it is, what we need to pray through.

God's not surprised by it.

He's not bothered by it.

So for myself, as a global worker who has had to send my daughter to live a world away from us, when I have days that I just need to pray like God, I feel like this is really unfair that some of my friends get to live right down the street from their adult kids, and I only get to see mine once a year.

Like, I don't like it, and I'm not very happy about it right now.

What happens is it's not surprising to the Lord.

He's not bothered by it because he knew it was in my heart anyway.

But it helps me then begin to process those things, and it helps me begin to work through the experience and the emotions and to be honest with myself and with the Lord.

And so.

So, yeah, I would just encourage people that even if liturgy has not ever been your thing, I think that you will find value.

I think that you will feel validated in some of your experiences, and you'll feel hopefully, a little bit less alone, whether you're a goer or a sender.

I think this book is something that anybody can read and can be blessed by and encouraged by and hopefully just have an extra tool in your tool belt to pray effectively for people that we send.

Awesome.

Heather, it's been a joy to spend time with you.

Will you pray for us today?

Absolutely.

Father, we are just so grateful that you are omnipotent, you are omnipresent.

It doesn't matter where in the world we find ourselves.

You are with us, and you are big enough and strong enough to meet us in whatever situation we find ourselves facing.

Lord, I thank you for the senders today that are making the sacrifice to send their loved ones, their sons, their daughters, their children, their grandchildren, even those that are our children sending their parents.

Lord, I thank you for the pastors and the churches and the friends, all of those who have said yes to being a sender, to making the sacrifice, to be separate physically so that people can have proximity to somebody that knows the gospel and is willing to share it with them.

God, we're so grateful for the people that send.

And I just pray, Lord, for all of those that are listening, whether they are someone who goes or that they are someone who sins, that you would just help us to know how to love each other well, to know how to encourage one another to pray for each other.

God, help those of us who are on the field to be consistent and to be fervent in our prayers for those who send, make us more empathetic, more compassionate.

God, I pray that as people who are the ones that have been sent look at this book and read these prayers that they would have a deeper sense of compassion and gratitude for those that make the sacrifice to send them.

And Lord, I pray for those that may be listening, that are senders, that are working in sending organizations, that are pastors, that are churches back home.

Father, I thank you for them and I pray that they would feel just your your heart for the senders, that they would know that you are a God who loves those who send and that you are with them and you see their sacrifice and it is a integral part of what you're doing around the world as you build your kingdom.

So Lord, I just thank you for this conversation, thank you for this opportunity to just go a bit deeper into what it means to be a sender and to send well and how we can pray, pray better as senders and for those who we send, we just ask that you'd be glorified through this book and through the prayers that are prayed through it.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Amen.