Inspiring Marriages: Friendship to Courtship (Hurts Being Healed)
Welcome
Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast. We are Jeff and Teresa Fields. Our son, Joseph, composed and recored the music that we use during our intro.
We have been happily married for 32 years. We have 3 wonderful grown children, a fantastic son-in-love and a precious grand baby.
As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages in all areas: spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.
Call to Action #1:
Go to our web page inspiringmarriages.net. There you can access all of our previous episodes including all the show notes. Below the episodes, there is a “keep in touch” section. There you can sign up to receive our latest offerings for free.
Friendship to Courtship
“The courtship period is the foundation upon which a happy marriage will stand, and should not be hurried by any devoted lover - not even a king.” Marissa Meyer
Be sure about a person's character before developing a close friendship.
Courtship — it is a period of time where a man and a woman dedicate themselves to learn more about each other and to seek God together to determine if it is God’s will for them to get married. Discuss each other’s visions, goals and dreams to see if they are compatible.
Hurts Being Healed — based on love
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. [They were His dear friends, and He held them in loving esteem.]. John 11:5 (AMPC)
Agape love, which is most often crowned as the highest form of Christian love, is the kind of love and action that shows empathy; extends the desire for good of the beloved; wants the best; extends help or demonstrates good intentions; and is intended for everyone
Now Jesus loved and was concerned about Martha and her sister and Lazarus [and considered them dear friends]. John 11:5 (AMP)
This is My commandment: that you love one another [just] as I have loved you. John 15:12 (AMPC)
So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. John 15:12 (TPT)
No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. John 15:13 (AMPC)
For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends. John 15:13 (TPT)
Steps from friendship to courtship
Teresa's story of hurtful dating relationships
Every relationship needs boundaries.
Being in a close relationship will always present opportunities for healing.
Our friendship reconnected after dating was ended.
God used Jeff to bring emotional healing by listening as a friend.
Pointer for men: listen for information, not to make a response.
Over the course of our courtship those hurts were being healed.
Call to Action #2
You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Amazon podcast. Please leave us a review. You can watch this podcast on YouTube. Search for the Inspiring Marriages channel. You can even listen to our podcast using your smart devices. Just say “Alexa, play the Inspiring Marriage Podcast.”
Friendship builder:
Frequently Pray Together - with a goal of praying daily.
One of the needs of a wife is for her husband to lead her spiritually. Praying together helps a couple to share their concerns and lift them up to God.
Prayer is Important
Here’s some shocking statistics*: 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and 78 percent of second marriages end in divorce,. ~26% of couples who go to church together end in divorce. And 1/1,500 of marriages where couples pray together end in divorce. (1/15th of 1 percent).
Ellison, C. G., Burdette, A. M. and Bradford Wilcox, W. (2010), The Couple That Prays Together: Race and Ethnicity, Religion, and Relationship Quality Among Working‐Age Adults. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72: 963–975. doi:10.1111/j.1741–3737.2010.00742.x
Gray Divorce Rate:
The divorce rate for couples over the age of 50, including empty nesters, has doubled over the course of the past generation.
The divorce rate for people over 64 years of age tripled during that same time period.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/03/09/led-by-baby-boomers-divorce-rates-climb-for-americas-50-population/
Example of prayer based on Ephesians 1:17-18 NLT
Father, I ask You to give you spiritual wisdom to <name> and insight so that he/she might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that his/her heart will be flooded with light so that he/she can understand the confident hope You has given to him/her because he/she has been called—he/she is part of His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance.
Call to Action #3:
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