We start our businesses for a variety of reasons: we want fulfillment, extra income and/or to make the world a better place. But what happens when things get boring, hard or frustrating? What do we do when we get stuck, and can't pull ourselves out of a metaphorical hole?

That's what today's tough love episode is all about. I know you often struggle with confidence in yourself and your business, but I KNOW how talented you are and that you have something so valuable to offer the world. So trust me when I say that no amount of hesitating and procrastinating will get you closer to your goal.

Borrow my belief if you need to, but just get moving. All your dreams are on the other side of this next step!

**Overwhelmed with the idea of starting your own website? Join my free training on October 4th, where I'll take you, step by step, through building a single webpage to get your business online, once and for all: http://Bonniewiscombe.mykajabi.com/register

Want to start a business but feeling overwhelmed? Join my Finding Your Side Hustle Course and learn the step-by-step process for starting the business you've been dreaming of.

Ready for one-on-one guidance? Schedule a free coaching call with me so we can make progress on your dreams.

Microphone (ATR2100x-USB Microphone)-1:

You're listening to Bernie Brightly,

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episode 28, Some Tough Love.

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This is burning brightly, a podcast

for Christian moms who are feeling

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called to build a business and

share their light with the world.

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I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life

coach, mom, and entrepreneur.

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And I'm honored to be your guide.

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As you face this business building

adventure full of highs, lows,

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and everything in between.

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This is where we help each

other find the courage to shine.

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Microphone (ATR2100x-USB Microphone)-1:

Hello, my friends.

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Today's episode is going to be a

little tiny bit of a kick in the pants

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for all of us who struggle to get

moving, especially when we feel stuck

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regarding something in our business.

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Now, admittedly, this

isn't usually my struggle.

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My struggle is usually with thinking at

all before I just dive in and take action.

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I love that action line.

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I really want to get started and very

often I don't plan well enough ahead of

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time because I want to just start moving.

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but.

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I think all of us struggle with

hesitation and avoidance sometimes

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when things feel particularly hard.

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If you want to know if you're struggling

with this, then ask yourself, do you

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feel fear, overwhelm or insecurity

about any aspect of your business?

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Because where there are fear, overwhelm

and insecurity, there will also be

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hesitation, procrastination and avoidance.

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Think about the last time you

procrastinated something, it was

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probably because you felt overwhelmed

or you were a little bit afraid of

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something or you're a little bit

insecure or you just didn't want to.

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So first we need to define what it is

you are avoiding or procrastinating.

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It might be something very specific

that you have in mind that you've been

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thinking about forever, but you just

haven't taken that plunge to get started.

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It could be getting a degree or

a specific sort of training or

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certificate to help you move forward

on this business you want to build.

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It could be just telling people

what your business is about or

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what you want it to be about.

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I struggled with this for a long

time with my first business.

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I was so nervous to tell people.

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I just thought everyone's going to

make fun of me or tell me it's a bad

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idea or say something that's going to

make me feel something negative, right?

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So I didn't even want to say it out loud.

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Could it be building a website or some

other sort of technological problem?

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Side note if you haven't yet built a

website for your business, you're going

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to want to attend my free training

that's coming up on October 4th.

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It is called Online Business Made Easy.

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We're going to get a very

simple webpage up and running

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for your business in one hour.

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You're not going to want to miss it.

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It's totally free.

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So the link will be in

the show notes for that.

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So there's, there's my little free

training plug if you are struggling with

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building a website, but likely you know

what this challenging thing is, something

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that you've been putting off for a while.

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Once you have identified what

it is that's keeping you stuck,

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we have to figure out why.

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Your brain is so brilliant.

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It wants to avoid pain and discomfort,

and it does so by pushing back

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at things that it knows is going

to bring pain and discomfort.

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So you are likely telling yourself

a story about this thing that is

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keeping you from moving forward.

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So let's identify the story.

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A few stories that I've heard that

are very common and that I love to

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still entertain myself as I'm building

a business are, I'm not good at

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technology, Does that sound familiar?

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I don't know what I'm doing

or I'm scared of failing.

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I don't want people to judge

me or what if this isn't the

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right thing or the right path?

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Do any of those sound familiar to you?

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They all sound familiar to me.

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There has been a time in my business

journey where I have felt or thought

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one or multiple of these, sometimes

all of them at the same time.

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They're so, so, so common.

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Or if it's a different story,

identify what that story is

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that you're holding on to.

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I'm going to give it to you straight.

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You guys, you are probably

bad at technology.

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If you're thinking that

story, it's likely true.

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That's okay.

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You probably also don't know

what you're doing and you will

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probably experience failure.

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You will also probably have people

judge you and it's likely that

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you're not on the right path yet and

that you will pivot at some point.

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But so what?

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What does any of this mean?

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Nothing.

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It just means there's something

you haven't learned yet.

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There's something you

need to progress through.

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There's something you need

to push forward through.

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None of it is a deal breaker.

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All of it is normal.

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Now you could be moving forward and

experiencing all of these things.

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Or you could stay stuck exactly

where you are right now and in a year

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have nothing to show for your pain

because there's discomfort on either

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side of the line, there's discomfort

right now in procrastinating and

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trying to do anything but that thing

that you know you should be doing.

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And there's discomfort moving through

it as well to learn the technology,

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to figure out the path, to tell people

about things and get judged by them.

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That's life.

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So you guys might laugh at me, but

I find a lot of wisdom in a lot of

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kids cartoons that my children watch.

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And, the one I want to refer

to today is in Kung Fu Panda.

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Love those movies.

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There is a turtle who is very wise

and his name is Master Oogway.

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And he has this line that we

quote all the time in my family.

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And he says, one often meets his destiny

on the road he takes to avoid it.

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Cartoon irony for you.

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And I think that is so

true in life in general.

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We think that by procrastinating this

next project or this next big step that

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we will save ourselves pain and suffering.

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But what kind of pain and suffering

is involved by staying stuck?

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There is plenty there, too.

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You get to choose what discomfort, maybe

we shouldn't call it pain and suffering

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because that sounds really bad, but

there will be discomfort on either side.

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Which discomfort would you rather have?

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The one of staying here or

the one of pushing through and

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seeing success on the other side?

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So now we've defined exactly what it is

that you are avoiding or procrastinating.

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So now ask yourself, what is it

that you're trying to escape?

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Whatever you're escaping is

probably a negative emotion.

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What if you knew you were going

to feel those emotions anyway?

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Just a different flavor

of them right here.

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but then you wouldn't have the

benefits of the business to

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counteract that negativity.

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What would you think about that?

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In other words, what are you waiting for?

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Are you waiting for things to get

easier before you push through?

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Because it probably won't.

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It will probably only get harder.

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Now you may be telling yourself, well,

I have a very real thing that I'm

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waiting for before I move forward.

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Maybe you're looking for better childcare

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or you want to wait until your baby

is in kindergarten, or you want to

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wait until you get a better computer,

so it's not such a pain in the butt.

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Okay, I get that.

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There are some very real reasons that

might be worth So I'm going to talk a

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so now let's talk about how it feels to

be in the middle of building a business.

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When you get started, likely, you will

feel lots of enthusiasm and excitement.

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So if you've already started building

your business, you probably know

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what I'm talking about, right?

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That, that excitement of telling

people and of, you know, finishing

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that training or whatever it is,

diving into this thing that you've

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been thinking about for a long time.

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It's thrilling.

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And then you get stuck on something and

you feel less excited and less thrilled.

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Maybe you feel overwhelmed, or maybe

there's even some boredom there.

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And you think, gosh, I

don't want to do anything.

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Right now, especially not that next step.

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You become a master of avoidance

and procrastination, right?

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Doing all the things except for that thing

that you're supposed to be working on.

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And this is totally normal.

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You guys, I like to look at life

in general, but especially building

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business as a roller coaster.

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There's highs and there's lows, there's

exhilarating thrills and bursts of speed.

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And there is the part where you're

just sitting there at the beginning,

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waiting for everyone to buckle up.

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It's kind of boring.

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So there's a book called The Dip by

Seth Godin, and he talks about the

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valleys of this business building

adventure, he talks about how it's

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frustrating, it's boring, and it

attacks almost every single project.

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At some point it becomes

a little bit boring.

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None of them are exciting

all the way through.

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That's just not how life works.

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And he says this in the book,

extraordinary benefits accrue to the

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tiny minority of people who are able to

push just a tiny bit longer than most.

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So that's what I want for us, you guys.

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I want us to be the people who

accrue the extraordinary benefits

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because we are the tiny minority

that pushed past those struggles.

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What if you knew that your first

client or customer was just on

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the other side of this task?

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Or what if whatever you define as

success was right around the corner

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from this thing, but you're just

sitting here waiting for something

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to change, waiting for something to

get easier before you push through.

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Why are you dreading that

step so much when so much

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greatness is on the other side?

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I can definitely guarantee you

this, your definition of success

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is not on this side of the task.

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It's not going to come from doing

everything in your power other than

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that project that you're putting off.

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We humans are so good

at putting things off.

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Think about.

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College or high school when you

had your last academic big project

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that you had to do and you put it

off until the last possible second.

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We're so good at just finding anything to

do except for that thing and the anxiety

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over that project only grows as the

deadline gets closer because you haven't

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done anything and you haven't even very

often, I had haven't even cracked the

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book to see what the assignment was.

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I just kept putting it off.

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Then once I looked at it, very

often I thought, Gosh, this

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was not that big of a deal.

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If I had started a month ago, I

would have been long done and I

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wouldn't be worried about it anymore.

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But instead I've made things harder

and harder on myself because of

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all this anxiety leading up to it.

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So just facing it, just at least

taking a look at the project or

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whatever it is you need to build

and determining the next step.

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Okay, so I want to wrap up with

a little challenge for you guys.

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I love doing this.

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So if you're driving, don't do it,

obviously, but when you get home,

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I want you to identify that next

logical step in your business.

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The one that you are probably

already know about because you're

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probably purposely avoiding it.

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Okay.

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And write it down on a piece of paper.

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Once you have that step written

down, then write down all the

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thoughts you're thinking about it.

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Give yourself several minutes to do this.

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The fears, the concerns, the

worries, whatever comes up for you.

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Write that down as well.

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everything that goes through your mind

when you think about this project.

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Then ask yourself and write down

what is the worst that could happen?

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This is actually kind of fun.

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I kind of like doomsday scenarios.

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Well, everyone could laugh at me.

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I could lose a bunch of money.

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I could, get on a stage and fall over.

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I don't know.

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All the worst things that could happen.

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And then.

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I want you to ask yourself

what's the best thing that could

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happen and write that down.

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And that's even more fun

going to best case scenario.

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Well, I could have a six figure launch.

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I could make my new best friend.

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I could, whatever it is, fulfill

all my wildest fantasies.

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Write those down as well.

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Likely the reality of pushing

through this next project and

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step will be somewhere in between.

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In my experience, the worst.

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The negative stuff never actually

happens, and the negative stuff feels

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bad, but only for a really brief moment.

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I can't even really remember any of the

really big, scary, negative things that

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I've done in my business, because it

just lasts such a short period of time.

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And in my experience, the good

stuff ends up being way more

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amazing than I could have imagined.

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Seriously.

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Especially I've noticed as I come

more and more in alignment with

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what God is calling me to do.

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As, as I take steps.

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Closer and closer to what I feel like

is my true purpose in my business.

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Things get even more and more incredible,

and just the feeling as I work on my

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business every single day is amazing.

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I love it.

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So, as a recap, identify the next

logical step in your business.

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Write down the thoughts

you're thinking about it.

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Ask yourself what's the worst

thing that could happen?

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And then ask yourself the,

what's the best thing that could

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happen and then get started.

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Final question for you guys.

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Have you prayed about this

part of your business yet?

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God just might have some

insight for you, is my guess.

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Sometimes when I feel stuck and in

that little dip of uncertainty or

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frustration in my business, I just

pray and ask for confirmation that

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I'm headed in the right direction.

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Sometimes all I need, and even though

I've had it before and I've felt like,

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yes, this is the right thing to do.

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Sometimes I just need

a little extra boost.

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And so I will just ask God, can you

just confirm to me that I'm doing

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the thing that you want me to do?

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And You'll feel this amazing, inspiring

boost to keep you going and give

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you the courage to move forward.

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Remember one step, even if it's in

the wrong direction is worth probably

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a month or more of wondering if

you're going in the right direction.

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The action trumps so much.

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So let's get started.

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Thanks so much for listening friends.

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We will talk to you next Thursday.